I was hesitant to post here due to relevance, but this post is made for budding psychics like me hitting a wall in their groundwork, so I think this does fit under development. If it's not relevant enough, then that's fair. There's a few resources, but not many for psychics who struggle with ptsd which inspired me to create this post.
Mentions of lucid dreaming, awakening, basic psychic groundwork, astral projecting, shadow work and mentions of metaphysical sources.
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Cw: brief mentions of trauma and trauma related topics. Brief mention of a NDE without details of event.
I am not a mental health professional. Most of what is below are anecdotal with sources added. I am also not a professional spiritual practitioner. I’ve only practiced spiritually for over a year. I don’t do readings for others at the time of this post.
Below I will talk about my experiences with ptsd/c-ptsd and the struggle with basic mindfulness practices. Even looking for free resources online, I see articles claiming that mindfulness is a solution to dealing with trauma, but it’s not that simple. If you have ptsd and have found yourself struggling with basic mindfulness you are not a failure. This is common for those who have experienced severe and/or prolonged trauma. You just need to go about your practice in a different way. I will also talk about how visualization isn't universally accessible to everyone.
Let’s start out with visualization. As much as I love Psychic Witch by Matt Auryn, he relies heavily on visualization. One of the reasons I appreciate The Illusion of Method by Mark Gurrian is that he acknowledges some of us can’t visualize. Some may read my anecdotes and only get words on a page, versus seeing a man/woman dealing with the situations that I describe. In his book, Mark(technique originally created by Robert Bruce) describes an aphantasia/ low-vision- friendly way on how one would astral project by meditating on the sensation of climbing a rope out of their body.
Even though I don’t have aphantasia, this inspired me to utilize sensation over visualization for when my anxiety made visuals hard. The feeling of knowing I’m connected to the earth and the consciousness that runs through all things can get me grounded. The sensation of warmth in my chest concentrating as I call my energy to me can make me feel centered. The sensation of a click of energy around me can make me feel shielded.
I also have the privilege of insight in the low-vision and blind community as my partner is low-vision. Both she and her fully blind friend are advanced lucid dreamers. I will link the free MILD guide below along with other resources on lucid dreaming. I won’t speak personally on this because I’m not a good lucid dreamer and wouldn’t do it justice.
Mindfulness and trauma:
When I was a teen, I sought out a middle school counselor. She recommended meditation, breathwork, and yoga. I remember trying my best, but couldn’t. Terrifying imagery appeared when I shut my eyes. Focusing on my breath reminded me of a NDE I had and she did not teach me to reorient my focus onto something else that wasn’t triggering. She also wasn’t aware how different posture and poses were triggering for me (and I didn’t know better to tell her). One time, she did yoga with me, instructing me to focus on my breath. I started to panic and she told me to tell her what I was experiencing. She guided me straight into a panic attack. The whole day I was dissociative and shaky, having intrusive thoughts about my body suddenly dying.
Around the same time I sought massage therapy on my own for pain and the therapist told me she had never seen a kid who couldn’t relax or was as tense as me before. She recommended meditation, but I explained that for some reason I couldn’t do it. She was baffled because she never heard of meditation causing a panic attack before, either. Also not helpful were my parents' lack of an appropriate reaction to my NDE and their beliefs that my chronic problems weren't real.
These practices were too much for me and I didn’t find anyone who understood complex and severe trauma. What was going on was that these basic mindfulness practices were outside of my window of tolerance, which is described in David Trevealen's Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness. I knew the school counselor couldn't provide what I needed- a trauma informed therapist. I never got correct treatment for my issues until I was an adult because my parents were resistant to what I wanted. I was on my own, reading books of other people that lived tough lives to gain some sort of validation. Overall, this left me feeling like I was a failure. Then as I got older I would scoff at anyone who recommended meditation. My partner experienced similar issues and we both came to the conclusion meditation just wasn't a solution everyone made it out to be for anxiety. What I didn't know from teenage through young adult years was that I was going about mindfulness the wrong way for my specific issues.
In his book Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness, David Treleaven talks about how mindfulness can actually exasperate PTSD symptoms. For the survivor, the mind is no longer a safe place. We are locked in a fight, flight, or freeze state. Our brains are hypervigilant for cues that might indicate we're in danger again. When we close our eyes with nothing to distract ourselves, we see those triggering images again.
A lot of the time, we are flip-flopping between states of anxiety and reactivity to numbness and dissociation. David talks about the sweet spot between the two as the window of tolerance. An experience doesn't have to be pleasant, but tolerable. It's important for us to recognize when we're going too far in either direction. Cognitive behavior therapy can be helpful here if you lack the tools to self regulate (like me). David talks about the scale of arousal. My psychologist uses a SUDS scale. Basically, a way for you to determine where you are emotionally so you can be mindful of it.
Getting a little older and out on my own, I started to realize I had a problem. My plastic pitcher fell on me while I was cleaning one day. I swung uselessly in the air and then grabbed my pitcher before slamming it onto the floor and shattering it. I then burst into tears because that was my only measuring cup and I was broke. There were holes in the walls and doors from several one man fights.
I didn't like the person I was and felt like my outbursts were making things uncomfortable for my best friend despite her support.
I went to a nearby school for psychology where I got counsel for free.
This was the first person who recognized my PTSD and taught me a grounding exercise when I'd be confronted with imagery and felt I was in danger.
"What are three things that you see in this room?"
"What are three things you hear?"
"What are three things you smell?"
"What are three things you can feel?"
I found myself back in session, no longer face-to-face with family. I was back. The more I used this exercise, the easier it became to regulate myself. I eventually could watch the fight or flight surge through me like a wave as if an objective observer. I was in control.
I still use this technique for when I'm unwell. Currently, I pay attention to my bodily sensations like what is mentioned in the above paragraph, then to my environment, and where I am in space and time- that I’m safe. When I finish up astral projecting, I’ll hone in on what I’m experiencing with my senses to integrate with my body again.
In Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness, David talks about this grounding technique in his first chapter with a client that had outbursts like mine. He instructed him to focus on the sensation of the chair against his back and his feet firmly planted to keep himself grounded in present reality.
While I could ground myself back down, I struggled with more mindfulness- especially breath work. The student counselor at the time would try to ease me into it, but it reminded me too much of my NDE- even 7 years post. She also wanted me to do a Body Scan where I would focus on my body, relaxing different parts from head to toe. This sustained attention on my body was also too much for me. We kept hitting walls. Some of my issues with my body and pain were not relatable to most of those students. I was recommended to look into SSRIs, but at the time I didn’t have insurance or any way to afford it. It was a great service, but it was time to move on.
Eventually landing a solid career meant I could have normal healthcare. Finding the right SSRI was tricky, but once we found it, it was a whole new world.
My anxiety was 80 percent better. After over a decade of locked in fight or flight, I could finally relax. I think it was starting this SSRI all those years ago that made it possible for me to even begin mindfulness involving breathwork last year and I can still incorporate breath work today to elevate or decrease my state depending on where I was emotionally.
There are many forms of breathwork techniques- if they work for you. It's important to stay within what's tolerable and be honest with yourself, then be gentle with your answer.
In Matt Auryn's Psychic Witch there are numerous techniques like elemental, solar, and lunar breathing. Some do well with square breathing. I was recently advised to utilize breath work to bring me back to equilibrium. If I was dissociative and numb, to extend the inhale and then breathe out. To bring myself back down from anxiety to breathe, hold, and extend my exhale.
Another way I enjoyed breath work in the very beginning of my spiritual practices was to take advantage of the mammalian diving reflex. In the tub, river, or pool, I would dunk my head and slowly exhale through my nose. The roaring bubbles would also drown out the sound of my heartbeat, which I couldn't tolerate.
In Consorting With Spirits Jason Miller's description of becoming your breath in meditation made the trance state click with me when I first started.
With my window of tolerance even lower than before, right now I gravitate to forms of mindfulness that involve movement, which has proven to be helpful for those of us with ptsd. I like yoga, where I can look at and hear an instructor. I can also be extremely picky and choose the one who is most comfortable. I can’t do yoga in a studio, but I can do it in the safety of my home in front of a computer with no eyes on me. There’s many styles of yoga available for free online on youtube if this also speaks to you. You may also enjoy the free Tai Chi lessons there, too.
Sometimes mindfulness can be a challenge for well seasoned practitioners, too. A traumatic event could take place and cause an avid meditator to no longer tolerate their practice. If this is you, be kind with yourself. You might only tolerate short meditation sessions, or to meditate with your eyes open. Maybe you need to hear music, or a guide who will talk you through it. If you can’t tolerate it at all, put your practice aside or find a method that’s tolerable for you or take a break altogether.
Starting last year, my budding practice was what kept me here. I was experiencing an awakening during a stressful time. I stubbled a lot and still do, but my meditation game was starting to get a foothold. When I finally learned Ground, Center, and Shield I did it everyday. I started using meditation to work on my issues and got breakthroughs in how I was seeing myself and my emotions. Parts of me were coming back. I was finally able to feel my heartbeat in my chest (for short amounts of time) without terror for the first time in 16 years.
I was excited and passionate, but I’ll talk more about overdoing shadow work in another post. Just know that if you’re not mindful of where your tolerance is, you can re-traumatize yourself, which is why Shadow work is recommended to be done with a trauma-informed style of therapy.
Overall, mindfulness can be a great resource to those of us with trauma in order to heal, though it needs to be done in a way that’s sensitive to our triggers and catered to our individual needs or it can do more harm than good. You may recommend meditation to a friend, but they struggle with it. They may not tell you they have trauma, but use language like “I can’t focus”, “or “maybe it isn’t for me” because that’s easier to say. Maybe it isn’t trauma, but the majority of resources are visual and that isn’t accessible to them for whatever reason. There needs to be a sense of choice in how a survivor chooses to practice because we have already lost our autonomy through trauma. It may look a little different from how others practice. We need to feel safe in our practice and sometimes for us our body and minds are not safe. I think we should be sensitive to those who struggle with mindfulness, including ourselves.
Additional information:
What is ptsd -> https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disordesymptoms-causes/syc-20355967
What's the difference between c-ptsd and ptsd?-> https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/12/14/the-difference-between-ptsd-and-c-ptsd-and-why-it-matters/
Trauma-informed mindfulness (ft David Treleaven)-> https://psychcentral.com/health/trauma-informed-mindfulness#can-mindfulness-cause-harm
What is a SUDS rating scale?-> https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-suds-rating-3024471
What is astral projecting? ->https://www.gaia.com/article/what-is-astral-projection
What is Anphantasia?-> https://www.webmd.com/brain/what-is-aphantasia
What is lucid dreaming? -> https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/lucid-dreams-overview
Skyfall Blind Dreamer MILD guide(lucid dreaming)-> https://skyfalldreams.net/guides/skyfalls-mild-guide/
Stephen LaBerge's article on MILD(creator of MILD)->https://docs.google.com/document/d/1J0EwChB45i3bLFKsc3JUMUy6iaMyRkYic2QMRGjIg_E/edit
Other techniques on lucid dreaming-> https://www.ldguides.com/techniques.php
Books mentioned:
Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness by David Treleaven
Illusion Of method by Mark Gurrian
Psychic Witch by Matt Aurnyn
Consorting with Spirits by Jason Miller
Additional Recommended reads:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Traumaby Bessel van der Kolk
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD
Soul Retrival by Sandra ingerman

Hi all, I've had Vitligo since I was 6 years old. I'm going to condense some wisdom down into an easy to read post so you can just get on with your life. I've spent most of my life researching vitiligo because mine was really noticeable, and I've functionally conquered at times in my life only to have it re-emerge and have to find some other way to handle it. I believe I've now come to the ultimate knowledge and can help others. And I put the knowledge out free because no doctor should be able to make a living charging people in a compromised position to not even fully heal most of them.
This is going to be a post with a lot of Truth in it. If you can't handle it, please keep scrolling. The Truth is of immense value to people because it will help them deal with the real situation and not a fuzzy, make believe world that they don't actually belong to, and then can't understand when things just aren't working out.
1) Vitiligo puts you in a compromised position in a lot of cases because it reduces your value in society. It is considered a flaw and therefore you will have a hard time in dating and sometimes jobs, friendships etc depending on what the vitiligo looks like and it's severity. Some people get lucky but for the most part, people with vitiligo get shunned because people have the instinct to not be around those that show signs of a disease. Although vitiligo isn't a contagious disease, it looks like one. In addition, the shapes it makes on the skin can be scary such as looking like a "skull face" on top of a real face, etc so kids can start crying etc if they see someone who looks like that, no matter how nice they are. It's a real mindfuck for the person who has it. It goes without saying that it's a barrier to dating as well.
2) Doctors are making a ton of money researching vitiligo but notice how they don't just simply put an end to the vitiligo. Why would they when their whole career is based off of it? If people just got rid of it and got on with their lives, that income source would end. So you go to the doctor and are mindfucked AGAIN when you are filled with hope that a treatment might work, and it never, never does. I've tried PUVA, topical steroids (a disaster, they made me get spider veins on my ankles worsening my situation), Eximer laser (did fill in one of the areas but then created dark spots as well), and a melanocyte transplant that failed and also created a new spot on my outer thigh from the "doner" area. Looking to Doctors to provide relief has been a fail. The new JAK inhibitors, "Ruxolitnib" has a ton of warnings on the package, such as "don't use if you've ever lived near the Ohio River because parasites that are infesting your body can overwhelm your immune system" - whaaaat? Ok Skippy. I've long ago learned not to use "new cures" that come out every decade or so.
3) there is ample evidence of what is actually going on but it's not in doctors best interest to connect the dots. But I have. I went through a period of sickness that required me to take 6 years off just working on my health. During that period, I pretty much figured it out. So read on.
4) 23andMe is now widely available. In 2016 I ordered mine and spit in a cup, mailed it off and got my printout of my genes. I uploaded the raw data to Prometheaus and found out that I have a Vitamin D Receptor Mutation or VDR mutation, mine is called VDR-TAQ. I didn't understand that AT FIRST. But I kept researching. Turns out that people with VDR-TAQ only make a little bit of Vitamin D from the Sun when they are out there, compared to normal people. They operate on low D for their whole lives. Vitamin D controls the skin's pigmentation as well as many other body processes like hair, nails, bones, teeth etc. Long ago, we used to spend from sunrise to sunset outside gaining vitamin D. Then we would have enough to last us through the Winter when there is no D available in the sunlight. But we are all inside now, making anyone with low D much worse. If D gets too low for a long enough time, it will affect some people's skin pigmentation, especially if they are under stress, using up nutrients at a high rate. I came from an abusive family of alcoholics and was under a lot of stress, so my Vitligo appeared very early, at age 6. It wasn't understood so I continued to suffer low D until I figured it out at 40+. My D had consistently been low whenever measured but I wasn't told how to bring it up and why I should.
5) Bringing up your Vitamin D level isn't easy or simple. D requires cofactors in order to raise the level if you're using pills. You have to take it with magnesium and B complex or else it won't absorb. Further complicating things is that all magnesiums are not equal, you have to take a "good one", not magnesium oxide which is a cheap version that can actually harm your body instead of helping. So I took mine with magnesium bisglycinate. Also I become sick from commercial versions of the B vitamins and have to order special "activated" B so I could even take a B complex. I use the Quicksilver activated B complex liquid and it's about $50 with shipping. Was it hard to figure these things out? Yes it was. But I wanted to get better, so I did it. At the end of the day, I spent 2 summers sunning 3 times a week in a private back yard, AND supplemented with D and it's cofactors especially in winter, and my level did go up but not all the way, so I ended up buying a Sperti vitamin D light that cost me about $400. This is not PUVA which for most people does not work. This is just a regular Vitamin D light that gives off UVB rays like the sun's. Using this light, I began to have productive winters where I didn't have Seasonal Affective Disorder and see real progress on my Vitiligo. I also use a cream directly on the spots that contains vitamin D and A called Infadolan that I order online, it's about $20 for 3 tubes.
6) Since I began raising my vitamin D level with supplementation, sunning and a SPERTI UVB sunlamp, my vitilgo has slowly gone away. But there are some areas that refuse to budge. My lower abdomen is one of them. I feel that this is because there is no dark hair on the area, and it's also the largest. It also gets the least sun. Areas that have hair repigment much easier that those that don't (the pigment cells live in the hair follicles) - also areas that get sun every single day like the face. It's well known that most people find the face much easier to repigment than other areas of the body. I feel that this is because the melanocytes there get stimulation with sunlight almost every day.
7) I've read that some people get vitligo in response to chemicals found in rubber - my most persistent spots are where I used to wear rubber next to my skin growing up such as the elastic in sandals or girl's underwear. I also used to wear a latex mini skirt in my teens and early 20s, and ended up with a band of depigmentation where the skirt rested against my lower abdomen. These are very stubborn areas to treat. My advice would be if someone has vitligo, stay away from rubber, latex etc. resting against their skin. It's not necessary. Also stay away from skin bleaching agents - I got more spots from using a skin lightening cream that I got from a beauty store to take care of dark areas that had developed in intimate areas. Don't use those creams.
8) to make it through life, I've had to use camoflages for my vitiligo. I have worked as a performer and needed to appear "normal". Often, people with vitiligo are beautiful and vibrant people who have amazing gifts. Ive found to my surprise that they are often in the entertainment industry (Michael Jackson, etc). What has worked in my particular case, is using non toxic spray tans and mousses - so far I've found that Sephora Sun and Loving Tan are 2 of the least toxic. Use the Yuka app to determine the toxicity of a product. Don't use really toxic stuff as body makeup, it can affect your health. In a small glass cup, I mix the 2 mousses together into a shade that approximates my skin tone, and let it melt in to a liquid in front of a fan or heater. I use a Q tip dipped in this liquid to coat the spot initially, then use a wet washcloth to blend the edges so that there isn't such a sharp contrast between the areas. After adding that layer, I then load the rest of the liquid into a small rechargable spray gun that you can find on Amazon for about $100. I spray the areas with the spray tan artfully and enhance my abs, bustline etc while I am at it and end up with a pretty good look that can fool most people. This coating lasts for a day or 2. It takes about 30-45 minutes to re-coat myself. I usually give myself a day or 2 rest between applications. But sometimes I have to do it back to back.
8) I'm still only 3 years into using the Sun and a UVB light as a treatment for vitiligo. I've seen great progress, but the most stubborn areas aren't gone. I did, however get rid of most of the areas. When I think about how miserable I was with the amount of vitiligo I had, I want to cry. I got it to where people don't stare at me in the street, on my own - and that is very exemplary. Areas that have almost no vitligo now - face, arms, hands, chest, upper stomach, shins, thighs, lower back. Areas i still have it - ankles, foot tops, underarms, private area, lower abdomen. There is a process called MicroArt that can tattoo over those areas. It's a form of permanent makeup. At the end of the day, I want it all gone and don't want to have to deal with it at all, so I may end up getting MicroArt over the areas that are remaining so I can stop with the spray tan and just be normal. The MicroArt isn't a 100% solution because it's a permanent makeup and can't change color with tanning like your normal pigment can, but I bet it could be a 90% solution, and that might have to be the best result for me in a timely manner. You could get a professional spray tan over the Microart in the summer so it would all match, or do it yourself. I don't want to have to pursue a cure for the rest of my life. Had my parents been aware that this was a low D gene and a low nutrition problem, maybe I could have been saved in childhood and never had to go through dating and all the rest with vitligo. But unfortunately, I was the one who had to put the time/effort into finding these things out as an adult and that took precious time. MicroArt is expensive just so you know. Maybe you can find a camoflage tattoo artist who could do a servicable/acceptable job who isn't Microart and who wouldn't charge as much - more and more are popping up across the country.
9) a noteworthy site is this woman, The Vit Pro, who figured some of these things out on her own, and had a lot of success in regaining her pigment. Again, it's someone who simply took the time to figure it out on her own. I think you will find more help from individuals like me and her than from the doctors, sadly. I have seen A FEW success stories where someone was healed by a doctor, but not many. And did they stay that way? This is her site - thevitpro dot com. Good luck!

Hello,
I like SF5 solely because of the simple input of Ed and Falke, it allows me to have around 70% win rate instead of 48-50% with "normal" character and i don't have to think about what to press when in a match.
With the absence of Ed and similar input character in sf6, i'm hesitant about buying it on release. Despite reading online, i don't really know how the modern control work exactly. It's one button + a direction i get that, but does that impact the damage output or the recovery frame at all ? If not, what's the point of doing the "normal" motion ?
Thanks

It’s almost been 6 months since my ex and I broke up. We knew each other for almost a year and I’ve never allowed myself to get as close to any man as I did with him because of past trauma and daddy issues lol. We ended things because of a multitude of reasons such as how I felt like he’d never prioritise me or put in anywhere near as much effort into the relationship and seeing each other as I did, and things like I felt he wanted to make me feel insecure about myself because he was a jealous kind of partner. Anyway when we broke up I was very upset but I had to go back to my university city so my sadness became apparent in a different way. For example I became underweight severely as my ed thrived off of the breakup. My hair started falling out, I constantly got ill because my immune system gave out, my skin rashes and issues returned stronger than ever. Now that I am back in my hometown, where he lives, I’ve already bumped into him a few times. It’s crazy to see how he’s totally fine when he sees me in public and pretends to not even acknowledge me, as if we’re strangers. Meanwhile I’m here having panic attacks, the left side of my body completely goes numb and feels like pins and needles, my vision completely vanishes and I become blind for that moment, I cannot breathe and feel like there is no oxygen left around me, my whole body is shaking, and my heart is beating triple it’s normal rate and feels like it wants to jump out of my chest. All while he’s sat with his friends having a conversation and laughing with them and enjoying himself. Like how??? Why? It been 6 months how much longer am I gonna be like this?

Hey. I don't really have anyone to share this with, so I hope it's okay if I share it here. I'm a recovering neet and I just want to put this out there. Maybe it can serve as some inspiration for others looking to get out of neetdom or something. Anyways.
I would've dropped out of high school if I had gone to a regular one. Thankfully I ended up going to an alternative school because my mental health was so poor, and they supported me really well.
After I graduated I got a retail job and it sucked to hell. Quit after a couple months. Fall was coming up so I decided to go to community college. Did that for a year as my mental health was once again rapidly declining, and then I just... Stopped attending.
I did nothing until I was 23. It was great at first. Thankfully my dad is very soft in the heart and while he would verbally worry about me, he also probably would have let me live with him doing nothing for the rest of my life. I loved playing video games all day and sleeping into the evening.
But as time went on, it started kind of sucking. I had no money, I stopped getting enjoyment out of doing anything other than playing games, my social anxiety got 500% worse, I gained a lot of weight, and worst of all, my relationship with my boyfriend was deteriorating.
I was in therapy for a bit, but she had to drop me due to her clinic no longer accepting my dad's insurance. My boyfriend, who lived with me and my dad, was kind and patient, but I could tell his patience and hope for me was wearing thin after a few years of me doing absolutely nothing to help myself.
At the end of 2021 (I think), I got on some meds that actually work pretty well for my anxiety. I also tried shrooms a few times, which made me realize a some things.
Firstly, that my greatest wish of moving out wasn't going to happen if I didn't do anything to make it happen. We wouldn't be able to live off my boyfriend's salary alone. Also, I wouldn't want him to have to work that much.
Second, that was what led me to the realization that my lack of drive was putting some strain on our relationship. Of course, he doesn't think not having a job is a bad thing, as evidenced by the fact that he stayed with me all throughout my ~4-5 years of neetdom. It's more about how he would have to work so much to sustain us if we ever wanted to leave.
And third, I... Wanted to do more than survive. I wanted to be able to afford to do things like take trips and eat sushi and live in a decent place. I'm a big Disney parks fan since I grew up with my parents taking me all the time, so I want to be able to keep going even into my adulthood. I know that sounds stupid to a lot of people, but it's important to me and part of what motivates me (I'm just autistic lmao don't worry I loathe Disney as a company)
During the summer of 2022, I decided (to the delight of my dad and boyfriend) that I would go back to community college. I signed up for one math class to ease myself back in.
To my surprise, it wasn't as bad as I remembered. The people around me were younger than me, but I'm still pretty young still and am often mistaken for a teenager, so that wasn't a problem for me. I didn't really socialize. The atmosphere of my college was too high school-like for me to feel comfortable socializing.
But the class itself was... Lowkey kinda fun? I realized that I actually enjoy learning math. And that was when, after also researching anxiety-friendly well paying jobs, I decided I would transfer to a university, where I would major in computer science and get a job programming or something like that.
I took another class in the winter, applied to the university as a transfer, and after some hassle, I'm incredibly happy to say that at 24 years old, I'm starting at the university this fall! My then boyfriend, now fiance and I decided we want to get married, AND we're moving out of my dad's house since the school is across the state. My tuition is being funded by grants and the housing is being funded by my wonderful, generous fiance, and we'll be moving out in less than a month!!
One of the weirdest things I've realized is that I was so, SO bored when I was neeting. Having things to do in the real world, goals to attain, actually made me feel like a real person. Like I wanted to go out into the world and like, do something. I also feel like I can enjoy video games and stuff a lot more now.
I'll always be supportive of neets, those who are neet by choice and those who aren't, and I'll never judge anyone for being one. But that life isn't for me anymore. I'm happy to have my tax dollars go to a neet who needs it more, and once I'm working, I want to let my fiance decide what he wants to do. If he wants to play vidya all day, that's fine, the goal is to make enough money for him to be able to do that. And if he wants to pursue college or something, I'll be able to support him financially.
Him and my dad are literally the only people in my life right now. My social anxiety got so bad as a need that I ended up cutting everyone off. I hope trying to make new friends ends up being worth it. And in college, I'll be sure to take on less of a workload/take breaks if I need to. I don't want to go back to the way things were.
Anyways, I know this is long as shit, and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it. Let me know your thoughts, questions, etc if you have any. Much love and wishing the best for everyone.
(Also just want to add that I realize how lucky I've been here. I'm by no means trying to say it's easy to stop being a neet, or that you should even have to at all. In a world where machines could do much of the work, there's no reason to force people to work if they don't want to or can't. I'm antiwork. My happiness lies not with becoming a wagecuck, but in being able to support my partner and be able to do things like move out and afford to go on vacation. Everyone finds their own happiness in life. If your happiness is being a neet, more power to you!)

This year’s arena was known as the Everglades. It was a swamp environment spanning four kilometers, making this slightly smaller than the vast savannah of the previous games. The arena was littered with tall mossy trees thin enough for tributes to climb. The high density of the trees along with the thick canopy of foliage above trapped a lot of heat within. There was some debate regarding the amount of water to be pumped in the arena. Due to Head Gamemaker’s preconceived ideas on the mutts and arena events, the crystal-clear swamp water that encompassed 80% of the arena was 15ft at its deepest. There were patches of raised grassland scattered throughout the arena, giving tributes a few areas of relief from the deep waters. The cornucopia stood in the center of a small clearing with the podiums in a semicircle near the southern perimeter. The depth of the water was ankle height, the gamemakers not wanting to hinder the tribute’s movements for the bloodbath. There were a decent number of supplies, however all food and non-weaponous supplies were stored in dark green waterproof bags floating in the puddles. Traditional Hunger Games weapons were also seen floating in the puddles and propped inside the small cornucopia structure.
When the podiums rose out of the arena, tributes felt the humid heat weigh down on them. A few tributes were relieved by the aquatic setting, especially the District 4 tributes. Pearl was wedged between Laurel (7) and Logan (11). She felt intimidated by Laurel’s muscles and decided to ignore her in favour of scanning for escape routes. After pinpointing two routes with more tree cover, she scanned the lineup for Mortimer. She spotted him between Wren (5) and Jack. He noticed Jack and gave him a greeting. Jack asked if it was true Tobias Stephens was dead, him nodding in response. Mortimer said “If it’s all the same to you, I’ll leave you alone for now. Just out of respect for Tobias and for helping deliver the weed to me.” Jack thanked him before searching for Cat. Cat was found standing between Nikita (2) and Neutron (12). Nikita tried to intimidate her, but she brushed it aside. She spotted Mortimer and Jack conversing, pleased it wasn’t confrontational. Mortimer spotted her and she waved to him. He stared at her for a moment before turning his eyes to the cornucopia. She looked at the cornucopia as well, aiming her sights on one of the bigger waterproof bags.
When the gong sounded, Cat sprinted forward towards the bag she set her eyes on. Nikita attempted to tackle her to the ground, but Cat was quick enough to somersault out of the way. She frantically searched for a way out, choosing to run northwest away from the careers. However, she spotted Pearl fighting Mishti (10) for a bag. Mishti was successful at obtaining the bag and pushed Pearl to the ground before grabbing a knife nearby. Cat bolted towards the two girls, hopping over the fallen Burlap (8)’s body. Before Mishti could strike Pearl with her knife, Cat tackled her to the ground. Cat pushed Mishti’s face under the ankle high water and used her knee to keep her head down. She wrenched the knife and pushed the blade into the back of her skull. She looked up to see Pearl already gone. She turned to see a sword propped against the cornucopia wall and decided to risk it.
Meanwhile, Jack hopped off his podium but was swept off his feet by the slippery mud. He frantically pulled himself up, but was relieved that all the nearby tributes were completely ignoring him. He witnessed the first death of the games when Andrei (2) stomped on Terry (5)’s neck, snapping it in an odd angle. He ran alongside the podiums to steer clear of the ongoing chaos all the while searching for Cat. He managed to spot her closing in on a sword. He ran towards her, unaware of an arrow courtesy of Jassy (12) narrowly missing his head. As he neared Cat, he noticed Logan (11) creeping closer to her with a heavy axe in hand. He yelled at Cat to look out, but she didn’t hear. Logan raised his axe at the unaware Cat. Jack jumped forward and pushed Cat out of the line of fire. The axe lodged itself into Jack’s head, sending him falling to the ground. Cat was horrified upon seeing her partner brutally killed in front of her. She decided she let his sacrifice not be in vain and retreated from the clearing with a bag and sword in hand.
Mortimer was one of the first to reach the cornucopia. He snatched a trident from the back of the cornucopia structure. He turned to exit the building only to come face to face with Laurel (7). She had an axe in her hand and voiced her intentions of killing him for her partner Wolvthorne (7). Mortimer warned her to get out of his way, but she charged forwards. Mortimer used his trident to catch her first swipe, pushing her backwards. He swung the trident, cutting Laurel’s face. She was unperturbed and tried striking him. This time, he dodged and thrust the end of his trident in her ribs. He used her brief moment of painful staggering to stab her in the head. He flung her body to the side like a ragdoll and ran back outside. He noticed two bags close together and decided to risk grabbing them. He scooped up both bags with his trident, with one hanging on each side before retreating. He fell to the ground after tripping over the corpse of Shoya (3). As he pulled himself up, he noticed Pearl hiding behind a tree beckoning him to follow her. As he ran, he heard Wolvthorne’s roars of anger after discovering his partner dead. So angry in fact that he managed to disembowel and kill Nikita (2) before escaping east.
When the bloodbath was over, Artemis and Luther followed the order of events. Artemis enjoyed this bloodbath as not only did they have a couple gory kills, but some rare moments of honor. Luther listed Terry (5) as the first death at the hands of Andrei (2), comparing it to the first kill of the 12th Hunger Games when Sparta (D2 female tribute) curb stomped Fleming (D6 male tribute). Cameras then spotted Burlap (8) stabbed in the eye by Olivine (1), making him the second death. On the opposite side was Shoya (3), whose throat was slit by Lionel (1). The next chronological death was Mishti (10), with Artemis wondering why Cat saved Pearl. Luther speculated that they were probably in an alliance. The fifth death was Laurel (7). Artemis felt bummed out to not see more of her as she seemed like victor material. The sixth and seventh deaths took place almost simultaneously. Number six was Neutron (12) after he was stabbed numerous times by Andrei (2). Two seconds afterwards was the death of Jack. Artemis declared his death as honorable and as a redemption from his disastrous interview. The last two kills of this year’s bloodbath were Ryetta (9) and Nikita (2). Ryetta was killed by Lionel when she jumped on his back and tried to gouge his eyes out. Lionel wrenched her off by the hair and bashed her head into the cornucopia structure. Artemis then moved to Nikita’s death and described Wolvthorne as savage. Luther wrapped the bloodbath analysis up and announced nine bloodbath kills, two more than the previous year.
Cat continued to create distance from the clearing. She followed as much grassland as possible, having to wade through the water at a few points. Suddenly, she came across a wide expanse of water with no land in sight. She slipped on a loose twig and fell to the ground at the edge of this lake. Her backpack spilled its contents upon impact, its contents consisting of a sandwich, four fruit packs, a pocket knife, a bottle of water, string, and a small medkit. The thoughts of losing the items she fought so hard for sent her in a panic. She reached out and tried to gather as much as she could. However, she failed to save the sandwich, the knife, and three of the fruit packets as they all sank below its depths.
After saving the rest of her items, she realized her hyperventilating continued. She crossed her legs and put her supplies to the side. The confused viewers in Maximus Square watched as she took deep methodical breaths while moving her arms up and down. They began to realize she was meditating in order to compose herself. Viewers watched as the gamemakers displayed her heart rate and the number slowly decrease. Soon, Cat was able to compose herself. She decided to inspect her remaining supplies, keeping her sword by her side. She opened the medkit and was disappointed by the lack of quantity. It consisted of one roll of medical tape, two bandages, and strangely a wax bottle of clear liquid. She inspected the label, which revealed the contents to be hydrogen peroxide. She took note of this and pocketed the medkit, string, and the one fruit pack.
Cat lastly picked up the water bottle and realized it to be empty. She internally debated collecting water from the lake in front of her. She cautiously dipped a couple fingers in the lake and then tasted the droplets on her fingertips. Tasting nothing out of sorts, she picked up her water bottle. She was interrupted by the mandatory cannons, signaling the end of the bloodbath. Cat quickly scanned her surroundings while carefully listening for tributes. After hearing nothing, she turned back to the water and felt her heart drop. The once clear water had now become cloudy and murky. Cat became dejected, knowing she couldn’t trust the water anymore. She let tears fall from her eyes for a few moments, mourning her dreadful situation. Artemis was about to tease her crying, when she was interrupted by Cat slapping herself in the face. Cat told herself aloud that she had to get it together and plan her next move. She continued to scan the lake and her surroundings. She noticed a near consistent path of grassland heading west around the lake. She decided to head that direction, whispering to herself that “sailor boy” was sure to head that direction. She packed her things and started her journey west along the lake’s borders, with her sword at the ready.
Back in the commentator’s booth, Artemis noted her determination to find the District 4 tributes, speculating whether she had a crush on Mortimer. Luther diverted the topic to the lake. He educated the audience on the layout of the lake, showing through schematics that it spanned at least 35% of the entire arena. At the end of the lake was a thick accumulation of trees and brush the cameras refused to go past. When he and Artemis questioned Head Gamemaker Grimstone, he told them there was a hidden surprise on the possibility a tribute figures out a way across.
The two hosts began checking tabs on the surviving tributes. Olivine and Lionel (1) had split from the clearing and were in the south eastern sector. They watched from the safety of a couple trees as Andrei (2) and Wolvthorne (7) gathered supplies at the cornucopia. Surprisingly, Andrei was indifferent to his new ally having killed Nikita. The two debated their next move, Wolvthorne desiring to find Mortimer for revenge. Andrei admitted that while he was their biggest threat, he would have to put his grievances aside for them to survive the arena. Cameras diverted their attention to Carnelia and Logan (11) as they neared the southeastern perimeter. In close proximity was Horace (10) who was stalking them, using the trees and small mud banks as cover. Vista (3) had climbed up a tree and rested there. Wren (5) had struck up an alliance with Jassy (12) when the two crossed paths in the centre of the arena. Peggy (8) reached the northern perimeter and planted roots at the shore of the lake. John (9) had retreated west and was camouflaging himself with mud. He was nearly seen by Cat minutes into her trek west, but decided against confronting her upon seeing her sword. Artemis urged Luther to point the cameras to the District 4 tributes, which he obliged.
Mortimer had successfully distanced himself from the cornucopia. Cameras captured him diverting the supplies from one of his two backpacks into the other, discarding the empty one in the mud. It was around this time when the cannons sounded. The combined supplies included an empty water bottle, three fruit packs, a sandwich, a bundle of sturdy rope, a sleeping bag, and a small cooking pot. He was half a kilometre away from the lake’s southwest shore when he stopped walking. He turned around and asked the forest if hiding from him was really necessary. Pearl stepped out from behind a tree, asking how he knew she was there. He claimed that he spotted her dirty blonde hair poking out. He asked why she was hiding from him. Pearl asked if he was going to kill her. Mortimer was confused by this and questioned why he would kill her. Pearl defended herself by pointing out how much he hated accepting help from others and thought he would go lone wolf. Mortimer rolled his eyes, muttering “This again” under his breath. He put his right hand up and solemnly swore he wouldn’t kill her, for Gill’s sake. Pearl cautiously stepped out and thanked him. He asked what she had in her bag. She showed her contents, seeing a rain poncho, a water bottle, two apples, and a flint and steel.
Mortimer revealed his contents as well, noting the emptiness of the bottles. He suggested they continue going west, but Pearl pointed at a tall tree nearby. She said she would climb it and get a good vantage point. Mortimer didn’t object as she marched over to the tree and began climbing. While she was climbing higher, cameras noticed how antsy Mortimer was. In the commentator’s booth, Artemis said it appeared as if he was tempted to ditch her. Luther agreed with her observation, but didn’t believe he would just yet. Pearl reached seven metres in height and began surveying the arena. She reported to Mortimer that everything looked the same until she looked northwest and spotted the lake. Mortimer declared they would go there. She agreed and the two began their journey.
Out of nowhere, Pearl asked if he had anything against her father Alexander Riverstone. Mortimer claimed he didn’t and thought he was an honest working man. She retorted by asking for his reason to not accept his or anyone else’s help. Mortimer became annoyed by hearing this question for the umpteenth time, but Pearl insisted he explain. She already heard the story from Gill and wanted to hear his perspective, explaining, “After years of waitressing and hearing all the gossip, I’ve learned there is always another side.” Mortimer sighed and admitted he should’ve accepted his and Gill’s help as they had no gain in doublecrossing him. He cited his mother’s abandonment and the resulting playground bullying as the cornerstone reasons for him not trusting others. Pearl asked how old his mother was when she left, him answering six. Viewers weren’t aware of this detail and felt bad for him.
Before Pearl could press for more, the two had arrived at the lake. They noticed the murkiness of the water and surmised that it was unsafe to drink. Mortimer wondered how it was murky when it was crystal clear earlier. Pearl said she noticed the water became cloudy the second the cannons sounded, deducing that the water will become much more unsafe to drink as the death toll increases. The commentators and gamemakers were impressed with her accurate deduction but pointed out it was Jassy (12) who discovered it first though in a joking manner. Pearl however was more curious about the smell, comparing it to the sewage port at the Cardiff Cliffs. Mortimer agreed and pondered over what to do next.
Pearl climbed up another tree and spotted the stretching shoreline. Mortimer hypothesised how due to the unnatural shape and location of the lake, along with recent Hunger Games trends, there could be something in the northwestern sector on the other side. Pearl sarcastically commented, “Add a boat to the list of things we desperately need.” Mortimer’s eyes lit up and said, “Why not make our own?”, pointing out how they could construct a raft out of the sturdier trees and tie them together with rope, adding that being on the lake would keep them far from other tributes. Pearl admitted it was a good plan, but considered water as the utmost priority. When asked to test the water, Pearl gagged on the taste. Mortimer pulled out his pot and gave it to Pearl, telling her to start a fire.
Around the time Mortimer started his raft project, Cat was taking a break from all the trudging through the damp grassland. She held her only fruit pack in her fingertips and stared at it for several minutes. Viewers could tell she was speculating on whether or not to eat it. She decided against it and put it back in her backpack. She watched the still lake while licking her cracked lips to keep them moist. She dipped two of her fingers into the cloudy water and tasted the droplets. She instantly gagged and spit them out, using her sleeve to wipe her mouth. She then broke off a button from the backpack and stuck it in her mouth. Luther seemed impressed by this, educating the audience on this unique practice of preventing dry mouth.
Cat decided her break was over and stood up with supplies in tow. Suddenly, she heard voices coming from behind her. She listened carefully and recognized the voice of Olivine and Lionel (1). Cameras showed the two bypassing Andrei (2) and Wolvthorne (7) after the two journeyed north to hunt for tributes. While raiding the cornucopia, Olivine played with a pair of binoculars and spotted Pearl in the tree. The two decided to go after her. Cat frantically searched for a place to hide. There were no nearby upright trees and she didn’t have enough time to camouflage herself in the mud. So, in desperation, she burrowed her backpack in the mudbank and waded herself into the lake. Cat ducked her head underwater just in time for Olivine and Lionel to reveal themselves. Many viewers in Maximus Square were at the edge of their seats as the two careers initially began walking past Cat’s location. The situation was filled with more tension when the two stopped before moving out of sight. The two discussed their plan of confronting Pearl, knowing Mortimer is most likely with her. Lionel assured her that the two could take him together. Underwater cameras captured Cat’s face as she struggled to hold her breath. Based on the quality of the cameras’ footage, it appeared that Cat was able to overhear their conversation. Just when it looked like Cat was about to give up, the two careers finally resumed their journey west.
Cat thrust herself out of the water, taking in deep breaths. Supporters of Cat in Maximus Square breathed out in relief as well. Cat dragged herself to shore and flipped herself on her back. She laid there for a few moments catching her breath and wiping the mud off her face. When she held her arm up, she noticed a black spot on her forearm. She grabbed it, pulled it off, and turned it towards her. She instantly recognized it from its sucker and rows of teeth, straight from her studies in the fauna sector in the aquatic station. It was a black worm leech, a relatively new species introduced to the world through the crossbreeding of the European medicinal leech and the terrestrial leech. Cat’s face morphed into one of pure disgust and fright. It took all her inner strength not to scream when she looked down and counted eleven leeches on her legs and forearms. She shakily ripped the leeches off her body one by one, lip quivering as she did so. She tossed the leeches aside and crab-walked away from the shore.
Cat sat on a log for almost an hour, traumatized by the experience. After composing herself, she grabbed her backpack and was about to leave when she recalled Olivine and Lionel’s plan. Realizing Pearl and Mortimer were in danger, she pulled out her empty water bottle. Capital viewers were confused at first, expecting her to “run for the hills”. Their confusion turned to interest as Cat scooped up the leeches and put them inside her bottle along with some of the lakewater. In the commentator’s booth, Artemis was holding herself, cringing at the sight of the leeches. She wondered why Cat would pick them back up. Luther guessed she would use them either to help her allies or food, noting that the leeches were edible. Artemis squealed at the thought. As Cat was about to start moving again, a cannon sounded. It was revealed to be Vista (3) after she climbed down from her tree and decided to bathe in the river. She was also overtaken by leeches and screamed very loudly at the sight of them. Andrei (2) and Wolvthorne (7) heard her screams and found her writhing on the ground swiping at the leeches on her body. Andrei ended her suffering by plunging his sword into her head.
Two hours passed by without incident. Capital viewers still had some nuggets of tribute activity to entertain them. Carnelia and Logan (11) had successfully captured a handful of leeches and were attempting to cook them. Their stalker Horace (10) watched from nearby. The biggest area of interest was with the District 4 tributes and the approaching careers increasing the suspense in Maximus Square. While Mortimer was beginning the construction of the raft, Pearl boiled some water in the pot. She noticed her partner testing his rope on the logs he acquired and showing disappointment with it not being enough to secure the full measurements.
While the water boiled, Pearl gathered the moss growing off the trees and weaved some twine together. She tossed the twine to Mortimer and told him to test it out. She rolled her eyes at the look of skepticism on his face. She challenged him by asking why he was skeptical over some twine. Mortimer claimed he wasn’t suspicious of any malintent but was wondering why she would make it for him. Pearl simply stated, “We’re partners aren’t we?” Mortimer thanked her and tested the twine. He was satisfied with its durability and asked if she could make more. Pearl beckoned him to come to the fire. He walked over and was perplexed by the sight before him. The water still resembled the murky lake water. Pearl claimed she left the water to boil for ten minutes. Mortimer stuck his fingers taste tested it and spat it out in disgust. He said it wasn’t as bad tasting as the lakewater, but was still unsafe to drink. Frustrated, he went back to his raft while Pearl resumed making twine.
The two were unaware that Olivine and Lionel (1) were very close by and were able to pinpoint their location after hearing them talking. Lionel stepped forward and peeked his head behind a tree, ready to approach the unsuspecting Pearl. Pearl lifted her head to wipe the sweat off her face and was horrified to see him towering over her. She screamed at the top of her lungs and sprinted off not a second later. Lionel chased after her and swung his sword down toward her. Pearl shut her eyes preparing for the end, but only heard a single metallic thud. She opened her eyes to see the sword blocked by Mortimer’s trident.
Mortimer barked at Pearl to get behind him and she obeyed. Olivine made herself known brandishing a sword as well, having failed to secure a bow in the bloodbath. The arena and Maximus Square were quiet as the tributes slowly circled each other, Mortimer and Pearl taking measures to not be surrounded by their adversaries. Mortimer tried to make Olivine the closer enemy, knowing she was not nearly as experienced with a sword as Lionel. What he didn't know was she still had decent skills with the sword due to it being her "secondary weapon" that she decided to hide during training. Lionel swung first once again, his blade being caught by the trident. Olivine stepped in to strike while Mortimer was distracted. However, he spotted her and smacked her across the face with the back of the handle. She fell back into the water but before he could take advantage, Lionel went back on the offence.
The next three minutes kept the Capital at the edge of their seat. The two were evenly matched and trapped in a cycle of attack, block, and retaliation all while Pearl watched on, frozen to her spot. Lionel got his sword caught in the trident for the eighth time, but surprised everyone by twisting the blade downwards, pushing the prongs down and exposing Mortimer’s head. Lionel kept twisting in hopes Mortimer would drop his weapon, but he persisted. Just when it seemed like Mortimer was about to give up, he headbutted Lionel, dazing him long enough to free his weapon. Then in a swift motion, Mortimer thrust his trident up Lionel’s chin into his brain, sounding his cannon instantly.
Mortimer couldn’t celebrate for long as he heard Olivine charging towards him. She sliced at him in a frenzy, managing to cut his right eyebrow. She used this distraction to punch him in the face. Mortimer stumbled back a few inches, surprised by the power in her punch. Olivine brought her sword up high, ready to strike him down. Mortimer gave her a powerful uppercut, sending Olivine back three feet. The punch caused her to bite through her tongue, it falling to the ground. Olivine moaned in muffled agony at the sight of it on the floor as her mouth filled with blood. Mortimer thrust the trident in her chest. Suddenly, someone came rushing into the small clearing. It was Cat, having finally arrived to help Mortimer. She paused at the carnage laid before her and put her sword down. She said, “Guess you didn’t need help then.” Olivine’s cannon sounded seconds later.
The viewers in Maximus Square went crazy, cheering for Mortimer’s triumphant victory. In the commentator’s booth, Artemis and Luther were buzzing as well, the latter declaring this as one of the greatest fight sequences in the history of the Hunger Games. Historic documents reflected that sentiment as well. The cheering quickly died down, waiting to see his reaction to Cat’s sudden arrival. Mortimer furrowed his brows and backed her into a tree, saying, “You! You’ve been following us?!” Cat put her hands up and apologized for scaring him. She asked to at least explain herself. Pearl came to her defense and pleaded with him to hear her out. Mortimer relented and told her to spill.
Cat regaled her experiences so far, revealing the leeches’ existence and how she found them. Pearl rummaged through her things and pulled out the water bottle, but Cat warned her about the leeches inside. Pearl looked inside and identified the species, revealing they were edible. She walked towards the fire with the bottle. Cat turned back to Mortimer and told him, “I know you are reluctant to trust me, especially considering where we are. But seeing that I helped you with your training score and have something valuable to share, I think you need me as an ally.” Back in the Capital, Artemis said she admired Cat’s guts while Luther expressed interest in the dynamic they’re about to see, confident Mortimer would say yes. Mortimer looked back at Pearl inspecting the leeches, then the open backpack. He relented and accepted her invitation into the group, but warned he would end her if she did anything remotely bad.
Mortimer invited her to sit down by the campsite and go over what they learned. The small fire burnt out and Pearl was trying and failing to reignite it. Cat finally picked up on the rotten egg smell emanating throughout the arena. Mortimer noticed as well, claiming it was worse than before. Pearl asked if they noticed how it became worse the minute the careers died. The two were silent and realised she was right. Pearl speculated that not only will the water be rendered more undrinkable each death, but the smell will get worse. Cat compared the smell to the piles of feces left in Willard Alleyway by warmweed addicts and alcoholics. Mortimer suddenly had an epiphany. He realized that the rotten egg smell meant traces of flammable sulphur were present. Cat suggested they search for the source of the smell before it gets dark. The three fanned out. The search for the rotten smell garnered some moments of comedy. Viewers were laughing at the tributes picking up random objects and bringing them to their faces, left in tears at their disgusted facial expressions. It was ultimately Pearl who discovered the source, having explored the lake shore and found the source to be green algae barely touching the surface. She held her breath while collecting some and handing it to Mortimer. He wringed it off as much water as possible before shooting sparks at it with the flint and steel. After several tries, the algae ignited.
A fire was successfully crafted, and the trio resumed boiling the water. Cat speculated why boiling it wasn’t enough, recalling how it worked for Corpse Beckford in the 10th Hunger Games. Pearl suddenly squealed and stood up. One of the leeches escaped the bottle and began squirming on the ground. Mortimer picked it up and examined the creature. He noticed how sticky his fingertips were, his facing morphing into what Artemis coined as the “thinking face”. Mortimer used the tip of his trident to scrape some of the slime and thrust it into the pot. Cat was about to protest, but Mortimer recalled the species of leech and that it resided in the Rocky Shores neighborhood. He explained how the poorer citizens of District 4 would use the slime of discarded leeches to better purify dirty water. Cat commended him for noticing this and offered to ration the food for dinner. Pearl continued to create twine for the raft, but cameras noticed her constantly watching the nearby trees.
The sun was nearly out of sight and the water was still not fully purified. Mortimer was frustrated that the slime wasn’t enough. Cat told him to calm down and assured him they would figure it out. Pearl was still making twine for the raft when she cut herself with a tiny splinter entangled in the moss. Cat grabbed the first aid kit to bandage the wound before it became infected. Mortimer commented how he wasn’t aware therapists needed to know first aid. Cat responded, “Well, in a district full of addicts, you get a lot of practice.” Pearl asked her why she wanted to be a therapist like Phoebe. Cat explained how she used to be one of the young “zombies” hanging out in Willard Alleyway experimenting with new batches of warmweed. One day when she was thirteen, she had a respiratory attack. Her supposed friends were indifferent to her predicament and fled when Phoebe and peacekeeper escorts walked by. Phoebe spotted her, brought her to the hospital, and took care of her. In the commentator’s booth, Artemis was curious as to why she was dredging up traumatic experiences so nonchalantly. Luther guessed she truly moved past it and told her to keep listening. Cat further described a long conversation she had with Phoebe and how much it changed her life. After that, Cat strongly desired to get clean and was successful after nine arduous months. This was the part where Cat began to feel emotional. Cat explained that she wanted to help others get clean the same way she did, so no more kids are left to die in alleyways. She then revealed that when her mother died of an overdose, it was enough to convince her brother to get clean as well after years of begging. After years of dealing with erratic addicts, she claimed that no one scared her anymore, not even Mortimer. Mortimer apologised for being cross with her before, receiving an accepting smile in return.
While Cat bandaged Pearl’s wound, Mortimer noticed the small bottle of hydrogen peroxide. He examined it and put some droplets in the water. Suddenly, the cloudy substance in the water completely cleared. The three stared in amazement. Pearl asked who would test it first. Mortimer looked at Cat, who annoyedly said, “Fine I’ll do it.” She took a sip and said it tasted like water. After a few moments of no effect, Cat congratulated Mortimer for successfully purifying the water. Mortimer seemed really proud of himself. Suddenly, two sponsor gifts fell from the sky, one with a 4 and one with a 6. The D4 gift contained a mini chemistry kit with droppers, tiny bowls, and vials. A note attached read “I told you friends are the best - G”. The D6 bag contained a picnic of sandwiches and fruit. Pearl was ready to dig in, but Cat insisted they rest as the sun had fully set. Mortimer appeared disappointed, but admitted she was right. He volunteered to take first watch, blushing when Cat claimed he did so just to play with his new set. The two rested while Mortimer got to work purifying more water with his new kit. The portraits of the fallen were presented in the sky. The fallen included Olivine and Lionel (1), Nikita (2), Vista and Shoya (3), Terry (5), Jack (6), Laurel (7), Burlap (8), Ryetta (9), Mishti (10), and Neutron (12). This left 12 tributes remaining.

TLDR at the end.
Scroll down to START HERE if you dont wanna read the backstory stuff.
So I got rather long winded sorry. First of all, some background, I've been smoke free since march 2022 after smoking for 18 years, started at 16 years old. Like an absolute fool, I consciously decided to start smoking. I was going thtough hell and legitimately thought to myself "smoking relieves stress, I'm stressed out, all my 'friends' smoked, why shouldn't I?"
Anyways, after that I'd tried to quit many times, I got kicked out for it, which lead to a traumatizing incident, and that wasnt even enough for me to quit. I was very mentally weak, and while I wanted to not smoke, I enjoyed smoking.
It was a fidget before fidgets were cool, it elliviated my anxiety before anxiety was talked about. I loved being able to extract myself from uncomfortable situations to go have a smoke. Still miss that sometimes. Mostly because it seems more socially accepted than "I'm going to go stand outside and twiddle my thumbs for 5 minutes." But figuring out what was so alluring to me about smoking really helped me to address those issues before I started to quit again.
Anyways, after much trauma and stress I decided I was going to try again. This is how I did it.
START HERE
1- I spent a few weeks telling myself at every cigarette "this is gross, I dont even want it" and trying to put it out a few puffs before I normally would. I believe this helped me mentally get passed it.
2- I used a pill that was prescribed to block the nicotine receptors in my brain. I used Apo-varenicline, but the branded one is called champix. I had used it before, and other than vomiting if I hadnt eaten BEFORE I took it, I didnt really struggle with the side effects, (which CAN be bad).
I was warned off of this one because I already struggle with poor mental health, but I wanted to try anyways because I had used it before and quit for 3 weeks in my early 20's. Other than the vomiting (which only happened once because I took the pill and then ate instead of the other way around), I also had vivid dreams, but not the nightmares that they warned of. Mostly I remember my sister ballroom dancing with a giant cockroach...I've seen worse haha.
I had also previously used Escitalopram, but that did not work well for me. The side effects were worse on escitalopram than on champix or the off brand ones.
3- I used the pill in tandem with a book called Allen Carrs Easy Way to Quit smoking. I had also read this book about 8 years ago and had quit for 3 days, but I was travlleing and really didn't want to quit. (Smokes are only 2 bucks a pack! How could I pass that up?? Weak ass mentality).
This book is great because it breaks down 'why' we smoke. You are supposed to smoke while reading it as at some parts its tells you to light up and pay attention to the taste, the feeling, etc..
Its also great because it talks about both the physical addiction and the mental addition, and I dont believe you can quit without adressing both.
4- I started the book and the pills on the same day about 2 weeks before my 'quit date'. You're supposed to smoke for the first week or two on the pills, and while you read the books, so it may be a struggle to time it right, but if you're really ready, I believe it'll work out for you. I started both of them and didn't finish either, but I hung onto the pills just in case. And the book I was reading online(for free, I just googled around for an online version, but you can also get it from the library or use the Libby app (library app that you use with your library card).
I also recommend pacing out the book. Im a fast reader and probably could have finished it in a day or 2...give yourself the week or two so that your brain can really retain the information and ponder over it while you still smoke.
5- I've also made some lifestyle changes so that if I were to try smoking again, it wouldn't really fit in my life anymore. I live in a non smoking building. I deep cleaned my car and made it smell nice, my place of work doesn't know me as a smoker. I got rid of my ash trays as well.
I had 'quit' many times before and it never stuck. I used to say "I'm great at quitting, but I'm better at starting". That used to sound funny to me, now it just sounds dumb. This time I used the language that I was 'stopping smoking'. I feel like saying "I'm quitting" feels like I'm taking something away, but "stoping" just meant I was gonna do something else.
While it hasnt had the life altering effects that I'd hoped it would, (I still get winded going up stairs...or walking on flat ground for that matter, and I'm still overweight and dont like exercise), I have way less shame working around kids, I know that I smell better. I can taste and smell things better (being able to smell better is not always a good thing, lol but it mostly is). And I'm very happy that it feels like ita stuck.
TDLR: I quit by changing the words and mentality I used around smoking, using a prescribed medication that blocks the nicotine receptors in my brain, and reading Allen Carrs Easy Way to quit Smoking as well as making some lifestyle changes.

Sunday, May 21 - Saturday, May 27

Top 10 Posts

score	comments	title & link
151	66 comments	[double standards] The "male housework list" or "honey do list" (the second shift) | Sources from Dr. Warren Farrell
92	37 comments	[discussion] Panopticon of iffiness
66	35 comments	[sexuality] Something I want to ask and I could be an ass for asking this. What is with the left's disdain of agency in dating and relationships??
62	5 comments	[discussion] George Orwell on Male Disposability
60	3 comments	[education] POSTPONED: the publication of the new Title IX regulations that cut deep into accused students' due process protections have been pushed back from May to October 2023.
52	69 comments	[masculinity] Question for the peeps in this sub: Do you want the bonding nature of men to change for the better or should we respect the way most men socialize, but encourage more “bromance” culture?
49	33 comments	[resource] Why does the homeless situation continue to get worse despite the government spending millions of dollars on it.
44	31 comments	[discussion] How are men's rights viewed in scandinavian societies?
24	8 comments	[resource] The peacock’s tail as a metaphor for ‘patriarchy’.
1	1 comments	[discussion] LeftWingMaleAdvocates top posts and comments for the week of May 14 - May 20

 

Top 10 Comments

score	comment
121	SpicyMarshmellow said >a lot of them will say "just start out as friends and if it's meant to be, let it grow from there." And I guarantee these same people will tell men that complain about the friendzone that they shoul...
99	AskingToFeminists said Basically, what happened is feminism. It has spent decades portraying men as sex obsessed monsters, and any form of male attraction as degrading. It pretty much took up the spirit of Dworkins "all het...
81	Oncefa2 said One observation by Farrell is that many of these tasks happen outside the home, which makes the word housework itself kind of biased. That's actually one of the (many) flaws with Arlie Hoch...
80	ChrongrariusWimble said "Why is there disdain for taking active agency with love and dating? Why are a lot of people subscribing to wanting relationships to just happen out of thin air?" This is because online discourse is ...
78	parahacker said None of the above. Men's isolation is a symptom, not a cause - and the cause is systemic and cultural bias. Things like assuming men are dangerous predators, media tropes about men, etc. You're not ...
75	TisIChenoir said We should let men be men, and that means accepting the way men tend to naturally behave. It's funny though that we go to great length to change society to accomodate women (as we should), but...
75	Your_Agenda_Sucks said Because 3/4 of homeless people are men, but we keep opening women's shelters.
64	a-man-from-earth said If I want anything to change, it's how society at large values men.
63	Maffioze said Great post. This doesn't even include the kind of work men do in order to be a confident, stoic and stable presence for women during times of distress.
62	TisIChenoir said First instinct? It's coming from the general point of view of women in dating. Basically, meeting people, dating, sex, is something that ",happens" for alot of women. It's not something they have to ...

 

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500

★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822

★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616

⎯

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300

★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629

★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326

★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233

⎯

★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110

★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840

★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784

★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759

⎯

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751

⎯

★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156

★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544

★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318

⎯

★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574

★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257

★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255

★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287

⎯

★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461

★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436

★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353

★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212

★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127

⎯

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363

★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269

★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192

★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126

⎯

★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412

★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227

⎯

★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214

★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192

★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105

⎯

★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216

★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198

★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111

⎯

★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368

★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228

★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201

★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108

★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105

★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99

★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85

⎯

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127

⎯

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111

⎯

★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146

★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168

⎯

★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375

⎯

★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137

★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608

★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305

★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

GLOVES

★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204

★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

⎯

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75

⎯

★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359

★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229

★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77

★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48

⎯

★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733

★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292

⎯

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212

★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160

★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101

⎯

★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59

⎯

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62

WEAPONS

AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130

AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70

AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72

⎯

AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55

⎯

Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623

Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54

⎯

M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55

⎯

M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465

M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55

M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50

⎯

USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72

USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69

StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139

⎯

AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234

P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147

Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.

Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.

Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.

Bitcoin

• coronad0

Ok, who’s bad ass Delorean is this?
Comments Link

• Brlnn

Should I sent a dick pic back to assert my dominance?
Comments Link

• notlarangi123

Not your keys not your coins
Comments Link

ethereum

• thegreatsaiby

The fact that a smart contract can pull all available funds from a wallet scares the living sh*t out of me
Comments Link

• grigio

Metamask alternative Ethereum wallet without Paypal integration
Comments Link

• mjrossman

The Possibility of a Seldon Crisis
Comments Link

CryptoCurrency

• GoodNature33

Crypto will never reach mass adoption if it does not become more user friendly
Comments Link

• Beyonderr

Don't be this guy: Tiktokker mortgaged his house to "invest" (read: gamble) $500K in XRP in February 2022 - Despite a 103% pump off the bear market low, he is still down 33%
Comments Link

• throwaway23110504

Politicians are not our friends, even the ones that support crypto.
Comments Link

btc

• EmergentCoding

Woah! Townsville Flat Fee Reality now accepting Bitcoin Cash
Comments Link

• pafpafpaf000

Has Binance ever published BCH proof of reserves
Comments Link

• exit-liquidity

Tip bot?
Comments Link

SatoshiStreetBets

• little-eagle

SSB Coin meme competition winners!
Comments Link

• DogMundane

SSB is ready to redefine DeFi.
Comments Link

• foxshreder14

$KERM vs $PEPE
Comments Link

CryptoMarkets

• gussem

Cryptocurrency Investing 101: Your Complete Guide to Digital Assets
Comments Link

• CyberPunkMetalHead

Best Cryptocurrency Trading Bot Platforms to use in 2023
Comments Link

• Joe_and_Suds

Question: Futures Time and Sales
Comments Link

CryptoCurrencies

• gussem

Cryptocurrency Investing 101: Your Complete Guide to Digital Assets
Comments Link

CoinBase

• Resident_Practice712

Scam e-mail
Comments Link

• not-dennis

Unable to access my money
Comments Link

• DirkHellbender1337

Is the ethereum API slower than before? Seems to take an extra minute/confirmations to show up with a pending tx.
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binance

• AutoModerator

Binance Support Thread
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FantomFoundation

• Sybil_White

Stargate Proposes Fantom Pool Cut-off Amid Multichain Crisis
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solana

• real_mooshi

Solana Downtimes And Solutions
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• djraquet

Solana staking fees
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• azcoinnews

Solana (SOL) Price Regains Key Support, Strong Rally To Follow?
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cosmosnetwork

• Fantastic-Ad548

Juno network is on route to become the gateway of cosmos to the Polkadot Kusama ecosystem.
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• Upper_Macaroon9168

First time buying any crypto and I chose atom
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• Johnchelly

Cosmo
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algorand

• Capable-Ad2516

Silvio is why I buy ALGO
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• Real_Bridge_5440

Voting starts 31st May ends 14th June 2023 reminder!!!!
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• joechss

Use case: Small Businesses?
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cardano

• Howard310

Staking Rewards Diminishing?
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• SL13PNIR

Cardano Daily Discussion - May 28, 2023
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• Educational_Speech58

Oricals: Chainlink
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Monero

• DangerousFreedom1984

Update on moneroinflation.com
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• daemonserj

did_you_update_lol
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• spirobel

A Conversation with Nestor: Exploring the Vision of Os Moneristas
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NFT

• NFT_Murder

"Melt" - 13/13 - 0.02 $ETH - Manifold
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• XRISKATA_99

Imagination, Digital, Objk ( tezos ) 5
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• BoneDustnottaken

a KID called BEAST - NEW FREE DROP LAUNCH
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My family and I have been living at the same apartment community for just over 5 years. In June of 2022, a new company took over. Our lease was due to be up in October 2022. We were told they no longer offered leases more than 12 months so our lease would be though October 2023. But, the property manager at the time said what we could do is sign the 12 month lease then a month or so later sign a new one on top of it effectively giving us two years at the same rate. We did just that with him and have lease paperwork stating we are good through October 2024. A few month later, he was fired for essentially embezzling. Not sure that part should be relevant but putting it out there. Being that we do have signed paperwork and the documents where completed with the property manager at the time, should we be good through October 2024 even if the ownership questions it?

Hello everyone. My name is Kamil "Koma`" Biktimirov, I’m 20 years old and I'm a professional Dota 2 player who was banned for account sharing in December 2022. I'm writing this post today to express my deepest regret for my actions and to ask for consideration in reviewing my case. I am hoping this post gets enough attention so that it might reach PGL and Valve but more importantly I want to shed some light on the situation.
Firstly, I want to say outright that I accept full responsibility for my actions. I was involved in account sharing, and it was an enormous mistake on my part. I won't make excuses for my behavior, but I want to assure you that I was not fully aware of the gravity of my actions at the time. I now understand the damage I've caused to the integrity of the esports scene and the trust of everyone in the Dota 2 community.
Please allow me to explain the situation and my actions. In September 2022, I played for team Luna Gaming in a tournament called Dota 2 Champions League (D2CL). One day, my manager, Lil_skrip, told me we had tournament games to play on 22 September, although there were not supposed to be any games on that day based on our team schedule. He then told me that I needed to play from the account of another person, who was in team S9, participating in that same tournament. I was unsure about it, but I was then told that this was only for us to get more games to use as practice for more competitions in the future, and that no match fixing was involved. I was naive, so I did not think any further and said okay, and went ahead to play since it was just more practice for me. Suddenly, I saw news about 10 banned players, with myself being included. After this, I found out more about this situation, and realized that some players received money for those games. I was not persuaded to play on the basis of money, just practice, so I did not receive any money from this incident which I can prove with bank statements. I have since washed my hands off of this issue, but some others who were banned alongside myself were found to have committed more offenses, namely Kirill “deihra” Haritonov and Yaroslav “Limitless” Parshin. They were found to have played with fake nicknames and fake accounts in EU DPC Qualifiers, stuff that I am 100% not involved in. (https://cyberscore.live/en/news/lefitan-mog-igrat-za-swat-ix-vchera-diskvalificirovali/)
I now fully understand how severe my actions were. I was very naive and I am sincerely regretful for what I have done.
Dota 2 is my passion, and nothing can replace it, and I am fully committed to doing whatever it takes to prove that I deeply regret my actions and making amends. I hope that the community is able to forgive me as I did not act on malicious intent or financial greed, I am just a kid who wants to play Dota. Moreover, this is my first and only offense, and I can promise that I will not repeat the same mistakes.
Since the ban, I've reflected on my actions, and their severity. However, I have not given up on my Dota 2 career and have continued grinding MMR (currently top 30 ranked in EU servers at 11000+ MMR). I am still playing in order to improve as a player, and I have taken up streaming on Twitch to stay in touch and involved with the Dota 2 community. (https://www.twitch.tv/sclkoma)
Dota 2 has been a major part of my life since I was 13 years old, I have nearly 20000 hours in the game and more than 15000 games. It will continue to be a major part of my life regardless of the ban because I just simply love Dota. I just hope to be given a second chance to fulfill my dream of a professional career in Dota. Just as I had the opportunity to properly partake in the professional scene, my life was turned upside down because of a severe lapse of judgment on my part. I am young, and I cannot express how deeply regretful I am for my actions and how much despair I am in due to the severity of the punishment. It took me a really long time to accept and deal with this situation and it has already been 5 months since the ban.
There have been other players in the scene who were given second chances in the past and have grown to be an integral part of the Dota 2 esports scene, such as Noone (account sharing) and Solo (match fixing) who are now regarded as Dota 2 legends. I just ask for empathy and forgiveness for my mistakes. I greatly hope to be able to continue my career in the future.

I am new to the selling side so taking it low and slow. All coins come in capsules and are from mint tubes except engelhards. Check my feedback on ebay oceto89
https://imgur.com/a/VwfQLft
https://imgur.com/a/lWmfC6F
https://i.imgur.com/Sw2Sbvm.jpg
2- pamp 1oz bars in Assay $40
3-2019 1oz perth dragons $40
3-1982 1oz engelhards $34 ea
1-2017 10oz canadian maple $305
1-2015 1 kilo year of the goat $1025
4-2022 1oz libertads $38
1-2019 2oz libertad $110
2-2017 2oz red dragon of wales $90 ea
1-2019 2oz Falcon of Plantagentes $90
2-2022 2oz Lion of england $65ea
4- 2023 2oz Yale of Beaufort $62ea
2-2021 1oz year of the ox $35ea
2-2020 1oz year of the rat $37ea
1-2016 5oz year of the monkey $210
1-2022 1oz year of the tiger $49.50
Shipping is $5 to 6oz over 6oz $9...I accept zelle and PPFF... no notes. Once USPS accepts it then I am not responsible but will help if a problem. All items are packaged very well.

I've been considering this avenue of freelance for a few years but never got around to it. I want to eventually approach local business who don't sell anything online, but have purely informational websites that lack the modern look and feel that people come to expect. In my area there are a quite a few businesses that don't even have their google profile setup correctly, their website is clunky and hard to navigate (find contact info), or both. I think at least to start it'll be easier for me not having to deal with POS stuff until I'm used to the process.
The way I see it I need to:

• Set up a professional website for my business with a focus on my "website makeover" portfolio
  • For the portfolio I'd create generic mock-ups of a few really bad sites I find and then showcase how I'd fix them
• Collect specific data and figures on how/why a better website is better for their business
• Review the local businesses I plan to approach before hand with a free assessment of their current website and online offerings
• Approach them with either email, snail mail, or in person
• If they don't want my help, they can keep the free assessment no strings attached and use it however they want.

If a client accepts, here's how I'd like to handle the rest:

• Rebuild their site using either wix, squarespace, google sites, or wordpress
• Set them up with google admin portal + as many emails as they need (optional)
• hand them to keys to everything with x months free tech support as part of the package
• I'm thinking a flat rate to start

​
These are the major points I see, but there is a lot of nuance between the lines such as contracts, deliverable dates, revision expectations etc.
I'm very new to the idea of freelance but I legitimately think there is a need for this in my area. I want to make money, but I also love improving websites and creating digital assets.
I'd love any criticisms on my approach.

Just picked up paradiddle and having a blaat playing drums. I know there are two other well rated drum games and lots of well rated rhythm games on Quest. Just wondering if we can come to a consensus on which is the best!
25% off link: https://www.oculus.com/appreferrals/ed.pitman.1/5719805344724551/?utm_source=3
5/5

2022.4.23 2023.5.27