I just came from Cebu for work and I can't help but notice as a single M29, na andaming magaganda doon.
Isolated ba ito doon sa airport/hotel/office setting na pinuntahan ko or kung pumunta akong Jollibee makaka kita rin ako ng well dressed attractive women? Isa pa kahit Tagalog o English parang ang posh ng accent nila?
I've always wanted to move out of Manila and I think I might have found the city for me.
Q&A May mga Taga maynila ba sa inyo na ginawa ito for the same or different reasons?

Sorry in advance if my spelling and grammar are incorrect cause english is not my main language
So here we go I 28(m) met with my 24(f) ex gf who left and ghosted me all this time in a birthday of one of my co-worker in a restaurant .She was there sitting in a corner with her long time friends that I recognize instantly.. My heart sank in that moment .it was all blur all of the sudden . When one of my co-worker friends said to me 'you look pale dude ,you alright ?'you're sweating too .I just said 'it's nothing' I immediately Pull my self together ,act like i didn't notice them .. I think they didn't notice me either, i guess it's because of how i dress now .. back when my ex and i are together i just wear casual t shirt and ripped jeans and my hair style is emo even when we're going on a date. My other co-workers who was waiting for us just shouts my name out of the blue and starts waving at us . I look back at the table where my ex and her friends are sitting.. They we're all staring at me that they look like they've seen a ghost or something .. I look away and sprinting to the table where my colleagues at ..as i sat on the table as i was not myself staring farther. Then i noticed my ex stand up from her sit and heading towards our table. Shit this is what i'm afraid of.For the past year after she left me i've been thinking even daydreaming of what i would say to her if we ever see each other again .And again i'm sweating, as she moves towards our table closer and closer she was staring at me .I can't even look back at her . Then she just past us and headed straight towards the women's bathroom. I felt relieved after that .. I immediately told my co-workers that i wasn't feeling too well and wanted to go home.. They said you really don't look that good .. and they said they understand .I grab my bag and apologize to my co-worker who was having his birthday there that invited me. one of my male co-workers insisted that he walk me through my motorcycle as we past through my exgf's friends I noticed they we're looking at me again .My colleague and I are at the parking lot , He said "becareful going home buddy,Dont rush and take a goodnight's rest" yeah i will (i replied) I saw my ex was coming out of the restaurant and was looking around .. i immediately full the throttle to rush out of there ..after 30min I was at my apartment.. i sat down in the couch connect my phone to the speaker and played worship songs .. I then prayed to god that the heavy feeling i'm having right now be lifted.. as i prayed I cried. I remember when my ex and i will go to the church ..and back then before we eat breakfast,lunch or dinner we prayed. All those memories of her and I are coming down like rain .The happy memories we shared together, the times we cuddled , the first time she kiss me. I cried and cried .. Then my phone rangs .. I pick up my phone to see who was calling it was just a number .. I already knew who it might be like most of you already know but out of curiosity i answered . I heard snobs at the other end she call me by my name .. I recognize her voice even after 6 years. She calls me to ask how am i doing. To which i replied 'I'm fine' ( mean tone ) "I ask her where the hell did you get my number?" I still ask that even though i know she got it from my colleagues at the restaurant .She said from your friends at the restaurant, she also said that they ask her of who she was, so she told them her name. And noticed that my co-workers was shock ..she tells me that they didn't want to give my number to her .well i know why cause my co-workers know about my past with her as i told them about it. And when my co-workers told her that they wouldn't give my phone number, she said she cried.. and one of my female co-workers gave it to her . I don't blame my co-worker for what she did maybe because i thought she took pity on her crying . She ask me if we could talk ..I replied 'yeah sure' i don't know why i said that maybe there's apart of me that want to know why she left me without saying goodbye and blocked me and ghosted me for 6years.. She then ask me when can i be available .. I told her the time,location and when ..Then she said goodnight . to be honest i don't know what i'm gonna do , i'm scared about this coming meeting with her . I don't know what i'm gonna say . I still love her even today .. i never again dated after she left me. After the conversation with her on the phone i lied in bed and didn't eat dinner .. I was just so exhausted both physically and mentally The next morning when i came in the office .. my co-workers ask if my exgf called . To which i replied "yes" my female co-workers where shrieking .. and ask about what we talked . I just said some other time .. my female co-workers and male co-workers was stunned and said my ex was very beautiful . I kinda bit shy after hearing that . And i said" i know , she still is after 6 years ". Well that's its for now .. I'll post again before and after we meet up .

Time for another GangBang party!
The party will be Friday the 16th of June. The door opens for couples and single ladies at 8:00 pm and single men may arrive starting at 8:30 pm and typically wraps up around 12:00 am.
The party will be held in the west Tampa area in a nice 2 level 3 room suite.
Women are always in charge of what does or does not happen. We will have music playing and provide bottled water. Guests are asked to bring an appetizer or dessert to share.
Feel free to bring restraints, toys, bdsm equipment.
When you come into the suite you will be required to dress down to at least boxers or lingerie. You can leave at anytime. The party starts at 8pm for couples and single ladies. Single men may arrive at 8:30.
Couples, single women, and select single men are invited! You will be required to send a PG photo that includes your faces for review, if you are approved we will let you know. We will also be voice verifying all women and
If you wish to join us for what has become the longest string of adult parties in the Tampa area, just DM me with your first name, email address, and a pic that includes your face(No dick pics) as soon as possible!
We will be sticking to the rules a little closer. That means dress code, some of you show up looking like you just rolled out of bed, came straight from working on a road crew. Please also make sure you’re showered and smelling nice, no heavy perfume or cologne.
That also means that at 9:00 it’s time to strip down to at least underwear. This has always been a rule, but never enforced.
Lastly, it’s ok to watch, but we need to keep the number of guys standing around in the play rooms to a minimum.
We ask that guests bring an appetizer or dessert, this is just a request not a requirement but it is appreciated. Just a couple of people ever bring appetizers.
We are doing everything we can to improve the parties, better locations, better quality people, more themes, etc. Any assistance in these areas is always appreciated, we have a few people that recommend our group to others or bring new people in but this has dropped off considerably lately. Many of you have friends in the lifestyle and attend many of the events and clubs in the area. Please spread the word, we could use some new blood.
Please reply soon as space is limited and the list fills up fast! We look forward to seeing you there!
Women are always in control at our parties.

The nurse uniform has been an integral part of healthcare for centuries. It has evolved over time to become a symbol of professionalism and trust in the healthcare industry. The uniform is not just a piece of clothing; it represents the values and principles of nursing.
One of the primary roles of the nurse uniform is to identify nurses in a hospital setting. The uniform helps patients and their families identify who is responsible for their care. It also helps nurses identify each other, which is essential in a fast-paced hospital environment. Nurses wear different colors and styles of uniforms depending on their role and level of experience. For example, registered nurses may wear white uniforms, while licensed practical nurses may wear blue uniforms.
Another role of the nurse uniform is to promote hygiene and cleanliness. Nurses are required to wear clean uniforms every day to prevent the spread of infection. The uniform must be washed and ironed regularly to maintain a professional appearance. Hospitals have strict dress codes that require nurses to wear specific types of uniforms that are easy to clean and disinfect.
The nurse uniform also plays a role in patient care. Patients often feel vulnerable and anxious when they are in the hospital. The uniform can help put patients at ease by creating a sense of professionalism and trust. Patients are more likely to trust a nurse who is wearing a clean, professional-looking uniform than one who is not.
In addition to promoting hygiene and cleanliness, the nurse uniform can also help prevent workplace injuries. Nurses are required to wear comfortable shoes that provide support during long shifts. The uniform must also be comfortable and allow for freedom of movement. Nurses often have to lift heavy patients or equipment, so their uniforms must be durable and able to withstand wear and tear.
Finally, the nurse uniform can help promote teamwork and collaboration among healthcare professionals. Nurses often work in teams with other healthcare professionals such as doctors, physical therapists, and occupational therapists. The uniform helps create a sense of unity among team members by identifying them as part of the same profession.

Cost of Nurse Uniform in New Zealand

The cost of nurse uniform nz can vary depending on the type of uniform and where you purchase it. In general, nurse uniforms can range from $20 to $100 or more. However, the cost may be higher for specialized uniforms or if you purchase them from a hospital gift shop.
Conclusion
The nurse uniform plays an essential role in healthcare today. It identifies nurses in a hospital setting, promotes hygiene and cleanliness, puts patients at ease, prevents workplace injuries, and promotes teamwork among healthcare professionals. The uniform is not just a piece of clothing; it represents the values and principles of nursing.

This piece recounts the first time I drank an ancient plant medicine called Ayahuasca. It comes from Amazonian tribes who consider it a sacred plant medicine with healing powers and, given what a hugely beneficial impact it has had on my life, I am very comfortable describing it as medicine.
One Saturday, in the spring of 2016 I was greeted by the medicine man himself with a big hug, let’s call him Blu. I came into his kitchen to be greeted by several women with slightly comical homemade, feather headdresses and couldn’t help but think I’d walked into a kid’s birthday party. In the garden, there was a small festival tent set up which had a hay bale altar with easter decorations.
The ceremony had around 30 other participants and 10 shamans. In the middle of the tent stood the medicine man’s wife, Sun who was very much the master of the ceremony. She had the most daring headdress, flowing orange robes and a rattle in her hand. She spoke to us with warm, friendly humour telling us that we would know the medicine had kicked in once her singing started to sound good!
She advised that each experience is unique and we should try not to have huge expectations, sometimes nothing at all happens the first time. Having waited five years for this day I was quietly confident that this would not be the case for me and boy was I right!
We went around the circle introducing ourselves and explained what we were hoping to get out of the ceremony. Focusing on your intent during a psychedelic experience is meant to help you get what you are looking for.
During my turn, I expressed my desire to regain my self-confidence and passion for the opportunities and women in my life to whom I never seem to be able to fully commit.
Once we had all shared, we learned that it was time to drink.
My heart was filled with profound forbearing and excitement as I went up to receive a small glass of harsh-tasting, brown liquid which certainly tasted like medicine!
I had a basic camping mattress and a duvet laid out for me which I snuggled into before pulling on my eye mask. I was on my back trying not to think too much about the medicine, whether it was working or maybe wouldn’t work while I meditated for an hour.
The shamans started singing and shaking rattles. One of the female shamans, Nubia had an incredibly beautiful soprano voice that stood out from the others. It was while listening to the song of the shamans that I started to feel a warm flow of energy along my limbs. I tried to dismiss it at first, thinking it might somehow be related to my fasting for 40 hours prior.
When I moved my eye mask to let some light into my eyes I saw the tent roof overlaid with a flowing grid of beautiful, metallic, geometric grids with multi-coloured light flowing through the lines. The Individual elements of the grid reflected every colour of the rainbow like oil on water’s surface and I started to feel joyful, like a child rolling through leaves on a warm autumn day.
Nubia started singing to us again and it was like nothing I’d ever heard. It was so beautiful and mesmerizing I didn’t want her to stop.
I could hear the people around me, some giggling and some vomiting or, purging medicine into their buckets. I checked myself, asking if should I purge but I felt a gentle presence speak inside of me saying: ‘No, you’re fine. Just relax.’

They call this presence Mother Ayahuasca. The reason people drink the brew is to speak with and receive her guidance.

My eye mask was back on my face and I turned into the fetal position with the duvet pulled over my head I felt exceptionally comfy with this strange yet familiar presence as I started to explore the un-intimidating hallucinogenic world within my mind. She showed me complex pictures of flowing energy with multicoloured lights in perfect alignment while I was gently gliding along, watching the beautiful colourful spectacle.
It was around this time that Sun asked into the ceremony if anybody would like a second dose. I slowly sat upright and looked around. I checked myself. Truthfully, I was enjoying the experience. I was slightly nervous that having more could take me to a deeper, darker place however I had mentally prepared myself for the full immersion experience.
The presence told me: ‘It’s okay. You can handle it. I’ll be gentle.’
So I pulled on my shoes, got up and slowly walked over feeling slightly wobbly. I was worried Sun might tell me I’d had enough but when I sat in front of her, she gave me a big smile and beckoned me towards her. The second dose was about half the previous one and tasted familiar, not quite as harsh.
After I got up I walked out of the tent into the house. Sitting in the small toilet I saw the walls gently rippling with energy and recognized the phenomenon from previous psychedelic experiences. I’ve experienced mild, LSD-induced hallucinations before but nothing quite as mesmerizing as watching bright sparks of colorful energy emerging from objects and pictures.
Snuggling back under my duvet I listened to the rattles and felt myself floating deeper into the kaleidoscopic universe seeing my own body curled up but instead of my skin and flesh, I saw myself as streaming veins of energy. Millions of thin fibre optic threads pulsated with warm healing energy which outlined my body.
I felt myself lying on the floor in the jungle with mystical symbols and ineffable tribal figures around me. I felt like I was in a different, timeless dimension however I was surprisingly lucid and could snap out of it to check myself with ease. At some point I had to giggle as my boring pragmatist made the smart-ass remark, ‘You’re not lying in the jungle. You’re in a garden less than 100 meters from the Thames estuary!’
I had my eyes closed for most of the afternoon. I was seeing ever richer patterns. When I opened my eyes the patterns were still there but they were overlaid on the reality in front of my eyes. I could change them with the blink of an eye or bring back shapes I had seen previously.
I started thanking this entity for showing me all this beauty and felt the urge to reciprocate. I revealed some personal memories but they looked so very different. It seemed like they had a photo filter applied that filled the memory with golden light as they came alive with breathtaking beauty, streaming with colourful energy. I visited various life moments and it felt like entering into a photo and suddenly being there on that day!
I was there sitting in our garden at home. Once again I was a chubby baby covering my face with baked beans. I was actually there! I was picking the baked beans off my face and pushing them, one by one into my mouth.
They say that Mother Ayahuasca is a deep ancient spirit and I always imagined her as a deeply serious, majestic queen. I started wondering what she might look like… and so she appeared.
She was stern but not an old woman. Aya was young, perfectly matched to my age and exceptionally beautiful. She had long, smooth brown hair and big beautiful eyes filled with power and inspiration. As I looked closer at her exquisite face I realized that her features were constantly changing complexion. Her skin cycled from Amazonian to Latin to Nubian to Oriental and Mediterranean. She was outlined by swirling rainbow-coloured curls of light. The rest of her naked body only came into being when I directly looked at it. I realize that she was not one woman but a combination of every beautiful woman I’ve ever felt attracted to. I wanted her. She wanted me. We kissed and whirled around as we floated through my Entheoverse. My body of swirling rainbow energy flowed into her and hers into mine and this is how we made love passionately.
I had visions of us being on a summer weekend getaway in a stylish city. We lay in luxurious hotel rooms and I remember a cream-coloured clock on the wall, with Roman numerals but no hands to tell the time. I was dressed smartly as I led her by her hand into classy restaurants that had champagne poured, waiting by our table. It was like we were on a never-ending date, teleporting from one experience into the next, eloping while taking our time to enjoy each other’s energy, and passionately loving one another.
Afterwards, she lay in my arms and I asked what else she could show me and she replied; ‘What else would you like me to show you?’ I wasn’t prepared for this and my mind went a bit blank realizing that I could do anything, go anywhere in space and time I wanted.
I asked her; ‘Can you help me find my confidence?’
There was no clear answer. Instead, I had the random idea to become the temple stem of my friend Julio’s glasses. I looked at him from the bit next to the hinge and I could see him put the glasses on in the morning, and take them off at night and in the reflection of his right eye, I saw him coming home and watched his beautiful daughter jumping into his arms. Then I saw on his eyeball the reflection of me walking into the room and a felt warm glow spread through me.
Next, I visited my baby nephew sitting in my brother’s living room, in his red chair. I crossed my hands on my chest like he does and saw my brother and his wife smiling at me giving me warm hugs but more than seeing their faces while they hugged my body I could feel the way they felt when they put their arms around me and press me to their chests.
I saw all my brother’s smiles and happy faces as we jollied about, trying to make each other laugh as we do. I visited all my closest friends, took in their smiles and one by one, as I hugged each of them, I could feel their love for me.

Later I realized that Aya was indeed trying to give me confidence by showing me how much the people in my life care for me

I visited the girl I had just started dating called Anna whose raw energy I find simply irresistible. I came into her new apartment that I’d never visited before. She was standing in sexy lingerie by a floor-to-ceiling window looking down onto the busy Tottenham Court road. I remember her turning her beautiful face as I approached, touching it with ten fingers and kissing her lips passionately as we erupted into rainbow swirls of energy.
I also visited my ex-girlfriend Jo, whose body and spiritual mind I still loved but whose soul is too damaged by the fear of rejection and tough mental armour I never managed to vanquish.
She was asleep in our white room in LA that she had so carefully decorated and I spooned my energy into her little body. She woke and we cuddled and kissed and I said I was sorry it didn’t work out between us and she replied; ‘It’s ok. I wasn’t ready for you…’
I asked Aya if we had made the right decision to stop forcing it and just be friends and felt her nod wisely.
At some point, I remember all three of us lying in bed together but instead of feeling like the king of the world, I felt like a greedy pig.
One of the underlying themes of the whole journey was how slowly gently and unhurried everything felt and I think the lesson I was meant to learn was that it’s ok to not settle right now — I thought I just haven’t found the one, the right woman to share my life with…
Aya kept giving me gentle advice throughout. I asked her about the stimulants I love such as cannabis, coffee and alcohol but instead of the stern telling-off I was secretly hoping to receive she told me; ‘You know they don’t serve you when you abuse them but they are also a part of what shaped you… Take care of the beautiful body you have been given.’
She repeated many times; Take care of yourself more… take care.
I asked Aya how I could find the power to harness my mind which has always been blessed and cursed with a distracting imagination and to keep my lack of attention from killing my dreams.
Instantly, I saw an unreal version of myself.
I was standing in something like a black shiny display window, straight out of a Mercedes advert. This guy was not merely a little bit better than I am now and I realized that the version staring back at me was my best self!
That guy is sharp, he is determined, and he dresses immaculately. That guy knows exactly what he is doing. When he enters the room, people notice his presence from the invisible halo that brightly surrounds him.
I asked Aya, how I could become him and the answer became clear. That guy works. He knows exactly where his energy comes from and all of a sudden I understood — The confident image he projects comes from the love he feels for himself which makes him look loved and successful in other people’s eyes. There is no room for distraction because that guy knows his worth and knows his purpose.
She gave me such a clear image of myself. I can still see myself standing motionless in the black, shiny shop window with rainbow-coloured fibre optic strains lighting the air that gently flowed around me.
How long I lay like that is impossible to say but I guess it was around 5–6 hours but it felt like an eternity of journeying into myself.
But it wasn’t all just warm energy and neon colours. I distinctly remember at some point realizing, it was time to go to the toilet. Afterwards, I walked back into the garden and found the Ewok-faced little terrier yapping at me. I laughed at him as I noticed the blue silver and chrome energy swirls around his head and ears. I couched down to see if I could pacify him but I suddenly became aware that his barking must be interfering with other people’s experiences. I turned to hurry into the tent as one of the shamans came out, to tell off the dog saying; ‘What’s wrong doggy, he’s alright!’ As I walked into the tent there were certainly more people sitting upright than when I had left and I read some irritated expressions on people’s faces, at least three people got up and walked out.
I lay down in shame but all my friend’s energy avatars ran up to me saying ‘It’s fine!’ as they doggy piled on top of me. It made me feel better. I felt them warm the cold shame out of me and I began relaxing again. I played around as before but the energy had markedly changed, it didn’t feel as light-hearted anymore. It was heavier and more serious. I was feeling the effects of the medicine becoming even stronger so I decided to sit up but when I opened my eyes, I saw Nubia hit the deck at my feet on a hastily arranged bed after having just purged into a bucket. I could see vomit in her black wavy hair as I started to think, ‘…oh dear if even the shamans are starting to falter, I’m in trouble.’
I didn’t know what to do. I tried to lie back down again. I asked Aya to help me, as she had several times previously when I’d gotten a little bit frightened but this time I could not sense her presence and I knew why. I had to go through this for myself.
It felt like I was sitting in a shopping trolley, rolling down a steep hill toward darkness, realizing as it picked up speed and bucked to and fro that this had been a bad decision, a dangerous idea and the only way it would end would be for the momentum to collide with suffering.
I needed help so I weakly put up my hand and within a few seconds, one of the shamans sat down next to me. She was wearing a white feather dress and occoured to me like an angel. She helped me sit up and as soon as I was sitting upright I began to retch. She passed me my bucket which I gratefully barfed into…
After I purged I felt better. My angel asked me if I felt okay again and I asked her to stay with me and hold my hand for a while longer, which she did. I gently leaned over and rested my head on her feathery bosom and felt a sense of peace and strength flow back into me. I saw my energy self, the swirling electrons of light curling my limbs as I sat cross-legged, hunched over like a bear cub being cradled by his mother bear.
She helped me lie back down and I started to return to my technicoloured dream state. I asked Aya if we could make love again and she said ‘Of course’ but it felt different, when I opened my inner eye to see the face of the person I was entangled with I saw my own. Aya had taken on my form and this might well be the strangest thing I’ve ever written but I was exceptionally attracted to myself and I realized that this could be how girls who are in bed with me see me. I could feel the burning desire a girl feels when we make love. It felt strange but also good.

They said Ayahuasca show you not what you want to see but rather what you need to see at any specific point in your life.

I visited countless friends, some people no longer in my life becouse we have grown apart and even those whose who have passed away. I visited my German grandparents and told them how much I loved them.
While I cuddled Oskar, the dog I grew up with, and played with him in our garden I looked up to see my dad approach us with tears in his eyes. I knew what he was going to say. When he told me that my grandmother had died I didn’t run away in confusion as I had on that day, instead, I went to hug my mom and for the first time, I empathized with the pain she had felt in that moment of hearing that her mother had passed.
I visited my friend Keith whose passing I have always felt a slight responsibility for since I know he read my travel blog and went to Costa Rica a month after I’d been there where he swam out to sea and drowned. I hugged him tightly and cried gently but he grabbed me firmly by the shoulders and said; ‘It wasn’t you! It wasn’t you…’
I visited my old school friend Alex who I had not been close to but whose misfortune to be on flight 447 still touched me. I told him and his beautiful fiance whom I’d never met that I was so sorry for them having been so frightened when they died but instead of me comforting them, they hugged and comforted me as I lay there silently crying for the people I missed. But it was not painful. Quite the opposite, it felt cathartic, like I was letting out the pain and healing myself.
At some point, while it was still light out Sun said “OK, I know that some of you are still on your journey but we will start having some food soon so if you want to share what you experienced now is the time.” I listened to some of the reports.
Several people said that they had a very rough ride because they had tried to fight it. One girl even said she was convinced she was dying. I felt very lucky and grateful for my gentle, warm ride through my multi-coloured Enthenoverse and wondered if I would ever return…
When it was my turn I said that I had finally been able to see how my friends and family see me and why they think I am awesome which will give me the confidence to finally believe that I am awesome (that got a laugh :). I also shared my new appreciation for how profoundly beautiful my life has been up until now and hoped that it will give me the strength to stop comparing myself to others, to focus on my own path and become my best self.

10 weeks later

My life has undeniably changed over the last 10 weeks.
The following day I drove back to my rented shepherd’s hut in a nature reserve and had an exceptionally rich experience walking through the marshes. The sun was shining and everything seemed so intensely beautiful. I was moved just by watching something as simple as a male and a female bird fly across the water in perfect sync. It made me well up emotionally.
I’ve cried a lot recently and I believe it’s a good thing. I cry on most days.
Usually, it happens when I see someone doing something kind and for a brief moment I get overwhelmed and shed a tear. But again, they are not tears of pain they are usually tears of joy and I feel like I have become much more in touch with my emotions.
It feels like bringing Aya’s female spirit into my awareness has tripped a switch in my brain making me more feminine, hence a more complete human being. I’ve also started to care more about my appearance. My mum commented recently that I looked different and she is right. I’ve been working out more. I get my hair cut more frequently and I’ve even gone and bought new clothes that dress me with more style, even when it’s not particularly necessary.
My work attitude has also changed. I find myself a lot more productive and capable of operating at a higher level while enjoying the entire experience so much more!
I honestly feel more in control of my life. I feel focused on who I am, who I can become and what I can achieve. Previously my decisions in life seemed more vague and fuzzy.
Above all, I feel the happiest that I have felt since childhood. The last 10 weeks have been almost like a too-good-to-be-true dream for me.
I’m also positively influencing the people around me. My grandfather wrote me the following sentence after my most recent visit.
You have this mysterious gift of raising the spirits of people both just by being there and by your gift of empathy.

Epilogue

I have indeed had more Ayahuasca ceremonies since I first wrote this and even though there was a 4 year gap between my 4th and my 5th experience I have felt the effect compound over time. I will be publishing more of my trip reports over on medium and would appreciate your supporting me by following me over there where I also publish contant whihc is not just psychedilic in nature. https://medium.com/@hi_niels

I am a 32 year old middle class female, with moderate disposable income. I am the absolute target demographic for SDM beauty products (I think?)
I wear sweatpants to buy groceries, I drive a regular Ford car, I spend about $1k/yr on my haircut and style, I spend about $7k/yr on skincare/cosmetics/medspa stuff. I am a regular ass boring person.
In what WORLD do you want to enter a drug store, and be blinded by burning bright white lights so you can see literally every imperfection. Also.. the beauty counter where the women are dressed UP TO THE NINES at a Shoppers Drug Mart. Full face of make-up, behind a glass beauty counter. I am here to get my pills, shampoo, and possibly look at the $75 cream I was budgeting to splurge on this month. Shoppers is an ODD mix of things, but they are doing the beauty part WRONG.
These counters aren’t approachable. The women stand talking to one another and you feel judged rolling in through with your 2-day-dry-shampoo-messy bun. OR you are hawked on so they can push a sale.
WHY is this experience always so wrong?? I do not get it. I don’t know what shoppers is doing wrong at their beauty counters, but the whole experience SUCKS. I do not want to walk through this brightly lit area so that I can feel on display while I am in my socks and sandals. I also do not want to dress up nicely so I can go to a drug store to run a quick errand? Does this make sense to anyone else?? Am I going crazy?
It seems so… off. The mixing of high quality makeup/fragrance/skincare in the same building you pick up on-sale Pepsi and Cheetos. I know they are trying to separate it with the fancy beauty section but they surely have to realize that I am the type of person who is BUYING BOTH and for some reason I really dislike how I feel in the beauty section. I feel stupid and out of place, and unwelcome, yet I feel I am the key customer being 32, female, and a regular SDM Shopper? If it’s not me, then who is??? Older people? Younger people? Richer people? More fashionable people???
They have got it wrong and I don’t know how they should fix it! I’ll stick to online purchasing for my skincare I guess..? I felt more comfortable asking the stocking dude for help in the cough drop section!!! (I literally did this)

Hi,
I am a work in progress. But I still think I’m ready for a loving relationship. I want to start the journey with my person.
I’m 27 years old and I have a fairly significant physical disability, cerebral palsy. That basically means that I need help with almost everything, from bathing, dressing, all that good stuff like that. I’ve had a couple other setbacks as well that have prevented me from really pursuing independence, but I’m starting that journey now in earnest. This might be TMI but I’m setting up a meeting with my parents so we can discuss a roadmap to maximum independence.
Having a disability has made it hard to “find myself.”I have a few major interests, namely politics, geography, and history. But I’m looking for more hobbies. I’ll be completely honest. It’s tough to develop your own identity when you rely someone else’s help That said, I do have a great passion for learning. Wikipedia is my favorite website in the world and I just love knowing a little bit about a lot of things.
As for TV, I like stand-up comedy, Saturday Night Live, Futurama, Ted Lasso. On the dramatic side, I like Breaking Bad Better Call Saul, Severance, stuff like that.
And I absolutely love music. I know that sounds generic but I literally have my headphones on for the majority of my date. It’s hard to talk about favorite artist or genres because I’m the type of person to find a song on spotify and play it over and over and over. Sometimes it is here a certain song, no matter the genre, and it just grabs me. In fact, I find it easier to communicate my feelings through song lyrics most of the time.
Now, for what I’m really passionate about, politics. I am a committed progressive/social democrat. Basically, I believe every human should be free to live how they wish, so long as they don’t harm others or themselves. This means I believe deeply in women’s rights and LGBTQ+ rights. I also believe that America, as a wealthy nation, has the resources to take care of its citizens. I believe in free enterprise, but I also believe that the government should create conditions which allow people to pursue full and fulfilling lives. This means support for a living wage, healthcare as a right, paid time off as a guarantee for every worker.
I’ve always felt this way but my philosophy really came together this past summer. My family and I were lucky enough to go on a trip to Ireland last July. We got to stay in a really nice hotel. Pretty much every room in the hotel had a view of this small lake. I don’t know what it was about that particular lake, but I couldn’t stop looking at it. I felt a sense of calm and contentment that I had never really felt before. And that's when I knew that everyone should be able to have the same feeling I had. At least a couple days a year where people can just relax, relatively free of worry. That’s what I want to fight for
Getting back to personal stuff. I also like to meet a girl and take her back to that hotel and share that sense of calm with her. Now, I am 5’7” tall and I am relatively heavy. I have a plan to lose some weight but it is difficult as someone who is relatively sedentary.
I am looking for a close and affectionate relationship. My disability has meant that I have had very little intimate contact of any kind. So I would like someone who is open-minded with a relatively high sex drive. I should say though. Due to disability reasons I may need a little blue pill. We can cross that bridge when we come to it though. I haven’t really experimented with it, but I am kink inclined. What that exactly means, I’m not sure yet.
I don’t really have any strict standards. All I ask is that you are between 20 and 35, single and willing to meet me relatively soon in Nashville, Tennessee.. I know I’m a work in progress. It’s going to take a where I’m going but I have a lot of love to give and I feel like I’m ready to give that to someone, at least.
Apologies for typos. They are pretty hard to avoid when using a dictation software.
As long as this is up, I am open to replies.
Face pic available upon request.

i used to be so happy with how i looked- the features i was born with, how i dressed, my personal style. now i just feel so tacky and cringy whenever i want to dress up, and i feel like i end up being so frustrated from my outfits because i feel like my body is a part of my outfit. i gained a bit of weight (~10 lbs over a year) and increasingly noticed my insecurities a bit more to the point that i cant look in a mirror and like what i see. i just had to uninstall pinterest because all it did was show me womens outfits and bodies when i didnt want to see them. im an artist and look for poses, and it shows me some borderline porn. ive also had to delete tiktok because of it, and now im weening off of instagram's explore page and reels because its just "weight loss" and "bodies" and "diets" and all of that crap being shoved into my miserable fucking mind. im trying to lose wieght, im exercising 4x a week to start but god it just feels so horrible to be 18 and hate everything about myself that i dont even have control over and it gets in the way of my life. i avoid talking to people because i hate my voice or i dont know what to say, i refuse to go out with any friends because id feel out of place with how i look and talk. i fixate on the smallest things and it just ruins my whole day. and i try to talk about these issues but its always people just going "Awww its okay, you arent fat", or "ohhh its okay youre beautiful in your own way", sometimes i dont want my point of view to be argued with? Im aware of how i look and i hate when things are sugarcoated to make me feel better. id rather have comfort like "you are fine the way you are", or "heres a solution that will actually help you".

We have been at this a while anything its a slippery slope as most are. We have met some great people, had some amazing experiences and ultimately keep wanting to go that little bit further. Like most things when you look back at where started it seems far off indeed.
So here we are, somehow in Ohio this is fine but only for the time, adventure calls. There are different kinds of adventure of course, exploring Bondage is one of those roads we keep travelling.
We are so into CNC and BDSM that vanilla threesomes are barely of interest, sure a beautiful woman is alluring, but one that wants to be choked and violated, forced to endure bondage, well that is our kind of girl.
Heres the breakdown:
US- a couple.
Male (me) 47 5'10 190, in good shape.
Female (wife) 48 5'3 116 in great shape and aftermarket additions that you will notice.
What we're looking for, a woman, (this is a hard rule) no guys, no penises, I have mine thats enough, I dont get why women like them, they look dumb, women are streamlined and have such fun parts. so no men, we have no need for more man parts.
Age- 25 and up or very mature for your age.
Where -anywhere in USA or CA, as long as you're not on the FBI no fly list.
We like soft, thin, feminine, in shape, we dont like BBW, as for race any is fine, we would like to play with an Asian woman as we never have though that is just a plus, we're open to any race.
Clean shaven, a little hair is okay, but a seventies bush or armpit hair, leg hair, hard pass.
Kinks- Lets remember we're not trying to insult anyone here and consider this the fair warning that we like some really hard stuff, so if you dont or dont think people should be allowed to consent to what they want to do, then you're just not going to like what we have to say.
Still here?
Good girl. (Gentle biting on the neck as I whisper it)
The basic's, slapping, flogging, whipping, restraints, choking, hair pulling, degrading (verbally, whore slut basic stuff). Now if any of these are are hard 'no' we may be able to work around them but, if 2 or more are on your list, well you might want to swipe whatever way is away, because its going to get worse.
Roleplay- you're a visitor, who gets abused, not to far from the truth, but the best stories always intertwine the reality and fiction.
The harder stuff- this stuff that you can object to, and we get it, its all the harder stuff that we kinda grew into and get that not everyone is going to be all for it, you can pick and choose.
Fisting and or large objects and stretching, DP we really like to DP a woman, you pinned between us, so sexy, so full, eyes rolled back my hand at your throat, giving all you can give but we're wanting more, my wifes nails gently biting your skin. Yeah, we like DP.
Shockers, Estim, prod the jolt of pain, if you do it wrong it can be dangerous, so we have studied and are careful to make sure everyone gets out without any long-term effects. A shocker to the ass, breast, leg or clit, while you're being fucked, in between being stimulated the contrast of pain and pleasure, we love to see that in a sub.
Degrading (part 2, the first was level 1, this is the upgrade) We like the mental aspect of BDSM, its that connection when you have it with a sub, its so sexy. If she wants to be broken mentally, we want the tools to do it. We need some input here, tell us what are the words the things that you secretly hate the feellings that you have that you want to expose but need to be deep in session, walls down, to really admit what you feel about yourself. Its primal and goes far beyond the spat 'slut, whore' If you know, then you do, if not it may not be your thing. Its ours though, let us in, so we can break you more effectively.
Paddles, with the intent to bruise, we like to see our handywork, the paddle gets the job done. We're artists in a way, and you're a canvas.
Overstimulation- the toying till you're cum drunk, you're hurting but were going to keep fucking you hitting you choking, using you like our whore, on this night you are ours and we want you to give yourself to us completely. You have our undivided attention.
Squirting- if you can we are going to be super interested and want to bring you home for a nice night that will end very harshly, we'll keep you hydrated.
The REALLY Hard- Most people won't be for the following, if you are and you have the other third of this mysterious amulet which we have had since we were babies, we need to meet you.
Sounding, the placing of smooth metal rods in your peehole for stimulation, usually it results in you peeing and losing control, which is sexy.
Watersports, you being degraded by my wife peeing on you, or you peeing on yourself.
Waterboarding- you strapped to a board and being tortured against all Nato sanctions, it is rough and extreme and youll lose focus when your clit is being stimulated and you're dry drowning. Not for everyone but sexy if you're the woman we're looking for.
Knife play- we dont do cutting, but using the knife as a prop forcing you at knifepoint to surrender and subject yourself to everything we demand.
The off limits- things we wont do. Nothing Illegal, no kids (both gross and illegal), no breeding you, we dont want any subsiquent kids, not with you, not with anyone nothing ruins kinky fun like crying babies.
No- hard drugs, we dont use anything that alters our thoughts during BDSM, bad mix. So we expect you to be clean too.
No- longterm damage, lets have fun and kink not hospital bills.
No- dudes (I thought it was worth repeating)
No- feet stuff, we dont like feet.
No- furries, not my kind of fun, I'm not dressing in one of those outfits.
Most other things are on the table- do you have a fantasy? Tell us about it we are likely down to try it. Is it twisted and kinky? then we really need to hear about it.
Location- US, we'll take care of travel, if we get along and have a connection, come spend a weekend see clevelands sports teams (we dont do sports so whatever, I hear were not missing much) and get abused (more than by just having to watch Clevelands teams take a whipping).
Experience, we have been doing this for a while but you dont need to be experienced, some of our best experiences were with beginner subs, we all have to be on the same page and have a clear understanding of where this is going, and where it stops.
Lastly- consent, there has to be consent and anything were going to do must be discussed and safewords will be in place. Dont tell me you dont need safewords, youre either unhinged or lying, this should be like a haunted house scary but you know you can leave at anytime. (I mean halloween haunted houses not creepy old houses with ghosts, those are scary)
If you got this far, lets talk, if youre deeply offended by us, please lets not talk, lets just part non-enemies.

(F) I apologize for making 3 posts in one day but it’s been quite a stressful day for me. I ended up crying and nauseated at the idea of liking guys. Maybe I’m bi and in denial? Or maybe I am a lesbian trying to convince myself I’m attracted to men. Idk. I think what I feel could just be aesthetic attraction? When I see a pretty guy I can mentally acknowledge he’s a pretty guy but I don’t think about kissing or dating him and the feelings not as intense as when I see a pretty women. I have mixed feeling on kissing a guy, I’m not immediately nauseated or upset but the idea that I might enjoy it makes me. I don’t think I’m sexually into men, I think some men have nice bodies but I’m never super into shirtless guys or anything like that. I don’t know how I feel anymore. Maybe I just don’t want to be the masculine one in the relationship and that’s why I’m confused? (I dress more masc but I don’t mostly want to be treated like a guy) I recently saw a movie with a straight couple and really liked their dynamic. But I mostly saw myself in the guy and looked at it through his perspective. It’s set up from his pov but still. I don’t know, ig it could be nice to have a bf but I don’t find myself desiring the same way I do with women. I also just don’t like the idea of ending up with a guy. In some ways my questioning feels like I’m forcing myself into being into men? But I’m not sure. I’m worried I’m just bi and in denial.
Any comments are appreciated

Like I was talking with my bf about gender and stuff and I don't know but for me Is ok if people wanna deconstruct gender roles and stereotypes but I still want them in my life.
I like being the girl in a cis/typical or canon way. I like opposites. I like men who are traditionally different for me.
Sure I don't want a 50s commercial about wifes who can only cook and give birth. Everyone should be equal when talking about right and possibilities.
But I like that there are differences. I like a man who dresses masculine and act like that. I mean I feel good on queer spaces but I also like enjoying cis people.
So basically what I'm saying Is that I am fine with however the world will become. I don't wanna sound like a boomer. But I don't like the idea of taking down every gender role or construct and when talking with a lot of trans women I feel so diverse. This happens with rad feminists too (btw I'm not a great fan of them.
So, that's It. I like the idea of "man" and "woman" and this sometime makes me argue with queer people which obviously I don't wanna cancel or invalidate. It's just how my brain works. (I'm obvsly open to change my mine in the future, i'm not that fond about It ✨)

2 years ago I joined Reddit after spending a ton of time lurking and I read the gender dysphoria bible. I wanted to start posting because I felt I had gotten most of what I could from lurking.
2 years ago I looked at other trans girls timelines and I was envious. I never thought I could get results. I never thought anyone would read me as a women. It felt impossible. I knew that I would never know if I didn’t try. I knew I wanted to be myself.
2 years ago I could bring myself to fully be myself. I didn’t dress the way I wanted to, I didn’t look the way I wanted to, I didn’t feel the way I wanted to. I was depressed and I felt a glimmer of hope after reading this community. Seeing other trans girls were very happy and living their true selves. Living their best lives.
Today, it’s 3 days until my 2 year medical anniversary. I will definitely be posting a timeline then. I have a partner, I feel good about how I look, it’s not perfect but I’m gendered the way I wish to be by strangers. I now feel like I am one of those girls on the trans timelines I used to look at. The other 30 year old trans girls who look really great and truly happy. Thank you so much for posting your progress everyone who does. You don’t need to but it really gives hope, I love this community I’ve joined. I feel I’ve passed some really huge landmarks and there is still so much more to go.
Today I am a woman, today I express myself the way I want to, today I love myself. Live your best lives girls, thanks for everything💜
I only hope I’ve been able to give even a small fraction of what the community has given me. Transitioning is the best decision I have ever made in my life. I hope you all find happiness and I hope I’ve been able to inspire others even a little 🏳️‍⚧️

(F) I apologize for making 3 posts in one day but it’s been quite a stressful day for me. I ended up crying and nauseated at the idea of liking guys. Maybe I’m bi and in denial? Or maybe I am a lesbian trying to convince myself I’m attracted to men. Idk. I think what I feel could just be aesthetic attraction? When I see a pretty guy I can mentally acknowledge he’s a pretty guy but I don’t think about kissing or dating him and the feelings not as intense as when I see a pretty women. I have mixed feeling on kissing a guy, I’m not immediately nauseated or upset but the idea that I might enjoy it makes me. I don’t think I’m sexually into men, I think some men have nice bodies but I’m never super into shirtless guys or anything like that. I don’t know how I feel anymore. Maybe I just don’t want to be the masculine one in the relationship and that’s why I’m confused? (I dress more masc but I don’t mostly want to be treated like a guy) I recently saw a movie with a straight couple and really liked their dynamic. But I mostly saw myself in the guy and looked at it through his perspective. It’s set up from his pov but still. I don’t know, ig it could be nice to have a bf but I don’t find myself desiring the same way I do with women. I also just don’t like the idea of ending up with a guy. In some ways my questioning feels like I’m forcing myself into being into men? But I’m not sure. I’m worried I’m just bi and in denial.
Any comments are appreciated

(F) I apologize for making 3 posts in one day but it’s been quite a stressful day for me. I ended up crying and nauseated at the idea of liking guys. Maybe I’m bi and in denial? Or maybe I am a lesbian trying to convince myself I’m attracted to men. Idk. I think what I feel could just be aesthetic attraction? When I see a pretty guy I can mentally acknowledge he’s a pretty guy but I don’t think about kissing or dating him and the feelings not as intense as when I see a pretty women. I have mixed feeling on kissing a guy, I’m not immediately nauseated or upset but the idea that I might enjoy it makes me. I don’t think I’m sexually into men, I think some men have nice bodies but I’m never super into shirtless guys or anything like that. I don’t know how I feel anymore. Maybe I just don’t want to be the masculine one in the relationship and that’s why I’m confused? (I dress more masc but I don’t mostly want to be treated like a guy) I recently saw a movie with a straight couple and really liked their dynamic. But I mostly saw myself in the guy and looked at it through his perspective. It’s set up from his pov but still. I don’t know, ig it could be nice to have a bf but I don’t find myself desiring the same way I do with women. I also just don’t like the idea of ending up with a guy. In some ways my questioning feels like I’m forcing myself into being into men? But I’m not sure. I’m worried I’m just bi and in denial.
Any comments are appreciated

(F) I apologize for making 3 posts in one day but it’s been quite a stressful day for me. I ended up crying and nauseated at the idea of liking guys. Maybe I’m bi and in denial? Or maybe I am a lesbian trying to convince myself I’m attracted to men. Idk. I think what I feel could just be aesthetic attraction? When I see a pretty guy I can mentally acknowledge he’s a pretty guy but I don’t think about kissing or dating him and the feelings not as intense as when I see a pretty women. I have mixed feeling on kissing a guy, I’m not immediately nauseated or upset but the idea that I might enjoy it makes me. I don’t think I’m sexually into men, I think some men have nice bodies but I’m never super into shirtless guys or anything like that. I don’t know how I feel anymore. Maybe I just don’t want to be the masculine one in the relationship and that’s why I’m confused? (I dress more masc but I don’t mostly want to be treated like a guy) I recently saw a movie with a straight couple and really liked their dynamic. But I mostly saw myself in the guy and looked at it through his perspective. It’s set up from his pov but still. I don’t know, ig it could be nice to have a bf but I don’t find myself desiring the same way I do with women. I also just don’t like the idea of ending up with a guy. In some ways my questioning feels like I’m forcing myself into being into men? But I’m not sure. I’m worried I’m just bi and in denial.
Any comments are appreciated

We're 5 episodes in and so far only Jessica has beaten an assassin. Had any of the other queens eliminated or not, been in the top who do you think could've beaten the assasins we've seen so far? First queen that comes to mind that maybe could've beaten Aja in the freakum dress lip sync is maybe Lala

plz explain this to me because I am genuinely confused and don’t understand how this works My friend I found out actually isn’t a girl and uses he/they just dresses feminine which I understand that this means he’s just a feminine boy right but I asked if they want to transition and he said no that that doesn’t really matter to them I don’t understand like how transgender if not want to transition like with hormones or surgery like because for me what they said it not being a big deal (transitioning) is not like that for me at all.. like transitioning is a GAINT deal for me and I already have been
Also someone plz explain this and what transmasc means better because I know it’s different from transgender man because I am a transgender man not transmasc. I feel stupid because even though I am apart of the transgender community I don’t know a lot of the terms rather then transgender man, transgender women, or nonbinary.

I’ve been thinking about becoming a massage therapist lately. I don’t know that much about the process of becoming a Licensed Massage Therapist, but worries about my identity have made me feel it’s pointless to even start.
I’m a non-passing trans women** (if you aren’t sure what “non-passing” means you can defer to the bottom blurb). To answer the title question, obviously a non-passing trans women CAN be a massage therapist, but would the number of people made uncomfortable by non-passing trans women make it difficult to the point of not being worth it? I know being a male massage therapist comes with its challenges, which makes me worried being a non-passing trans women (which is a man in makeup and a dress to a large chunk of the population) would basically be impossible. I’m curious to see any stories from trans massage therapists or people who know trans massage therapists (particularly non-passing ones) and hear what it’s like.
**For those who might not know, a “passing trans women” is a trans women who looks more or less like someone who’s been a women since birth, a “non-passing trans women” is a trans women who does not look like they’ve been a women since birth, they’re visibly trans due to having masculine features, and as a 6’ 4” trans women with broad shoulders I fall in the later category.