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2023.06.03 19:44 NamelessNanashi [The Gods of Dragons: Beginning] Ch 15 - Burn Baby Burn

--- Table of Contents ---
Autumn 4986, 16 Aoimoth
Shon and Nangran hobbled their horses at the base of a steep hill deep in the woods north of Hamerfoss. They'd left at fourth bell, before any of the other Squires had woken for their morning run, and it had still taken them hours of riding through narrow trails to reach this place. At least they hadn't run into any monsters. The snow that had dusted the landscape during the night lay thick here, crunching underfoot and occasionally flopping noisily to either side as it fell from the tall evergreen branches.
Shon adjusted the strap of his sword across his chest and reached his left hand back to brush shaking fingers over its hilt. He'd been glad when the Paladins insisted he take it with him. To them, it marked Shon as a representative of Hengist and the Temple. To Shon, it was a sign of his hard work and resolve. Having it was a comfort.
Nangran started up the hill, and Shon hurried to follow. The smith hadn’t spoken a word since they set out, not even to try and ease Shon’s anxiety, for which Shon was grateful. Master Daunas had tried to sound confident as Shon saddled his borrowed horse, and The Major General had offered him encouragement as they mounted. Neither realized how much that just drove home the desperation of the situation in Shon’s mind.
The smith pulled his heavy cloak tighter, and Shon looked away. He hadn’t bothered to wear his cloak. He'd never really felt chilled in the winter like others seemed to. Now that he knew why, he wished he had. Cold continued to swirl around him, enhanced by his worries. If he could just block those emotions, the power would never have been a problem to begin with.
The trees thinned the higher they climbed, disappearing almost entirely as they crested the top of the hill. The clearing looked over the treetops, offering an unimpeded view of the horizon. Forest all around, with flatland to the south and rocky mountain peaks to the north. Only a handful of small trees grew in the clearing, and in the middle stood a little ramshackle hut only slightly larger than an outhouse.
Nangran threw his arm out, stopping Shon from walking past him, "Don't touch anything. And don't be surprised if he says no right off."
Shon nodded, trying to swallow down his fear so it wouldn't be seen in his eyes. Dropping his hand, Nangran started forward again, finishing, "Be honest, but not insulting." The instructions, -or perhaps advice?- seemed like common courtesy, which made Shon wonder why quiet Nangran had bothered to say anything.
As they drew closer to the little shack, Shon could make out a sign on the door. He squinted to read it and had just made out 'No Soliciting' when the door swung open, banging against the wall and sending birds into flight. An old man, so thin he looked like a skeleton with yellow skin pulled tight across its bones, stormed out. Wearing nothing but a loincloth, he was shaking a thick stick at them that glinted with red rubies in the low autumn light.
"I already paid my dues for this decade! So you can take your request and shove it-" Shon’s hand instinctively reached for his sword, but Nangran just crossed his arms over his barrel chest. The old -virtually naked- man stopped yelling mid-rant and lifted one shriveled arm to shade his eyes as he squinted at them, "Eh? Flintchest, what’re you doing way out here with a blasted mage in tow?"
Rather than answer, Nangran started forward again, he didn't much care for talking, let alone shouting. Looking from Nangran to the loincloth man, Shon slowly lowered his arm, but still took position to the left and just behind the Smith as they approached the crazy man with the glittering club.
"No mage." Nangran said as he came right up to the strange old man, "Squire." he glanced over his shoulder at Shon and finished, "Sorcerer."
The old man spat on the ground and moved his squint to Shon. Running his eyes from the top of his black head to the tip of his polished boots and back, exaggerating the movement before he stopped at the Squire’s cold blue eyes.
He spat again, then barked "Where's your familiar?" scanning first the ground at Shon's feet then the sky above his head.
Shon blinked at him, furrowing his brow in confusion at the question. The mage snapped his fingers impatiently, "Your familiar! All Sorcerers have a familiar."
Nangran came to his rescue, "Just woke last night," he said shortly.
The mage spat again but didn't argue, "Well, come in then." Shon looked sideways at Nangran, but the Smith had already begun following the skinny old man into the shack. Shon hurried to catch up.
Inside, Shon's eyes were assaulted with a sparkling rainbow of colors. The room they'd entered was considerably larger than the outside would suggest, with plush carpet and a stuffed high-back armchair in front of a blazing fire in the opposite wall. Shelves full of exotic plants, glowing glass jars, and glittering stones filled every available space, reflecting off one another and setting streaks of light to dance on the floor and walls like sun rays through crystal.
There was too much to take in, so Shon focused on their host. The old man was slipping into a thick robe of deep purple velvet. He'd hung the club on the wall beside the door, which looked just as decrepit on this side as it had on the outside.
"Make a habit of greeting visitors half-naked and swinging an old fireball wand?" Nangran asked as he slipped out of his cloak.
"Keeps the conversations short." the old man replied tersely, tying his belt and turning to his guests. With boney knuckles on boney hips and glare firmly planted on his wrinkled face, he snapped, "Don't bother getting comfortable, Flintchest; you'll be leaving soon enough."
The Smith ignored him, hanging his cloak on the hook that had presumably held the mage's robe. "Got a favor to ask," he said, but the old man was already shaking his head,
"More like a favor to cash in. That's the only reason you're in here and not smoking in a hole outside."
Nangran ignored the threat and motioned from Shon to the old man and back. "Archmage Ivelm." The mage looked Shon up and down again as Nangran made the introductions, “Squire Shon.”
"Not much longer, I'd say." Ivelm said to Nangran as he finished his second examination, "It's to the Guild with this one. Too much magic." he turned his head and spat in a brass can by the door. It rang out with a loud ‘ting!' and Ivelm sniffed, looking down at Nangran again, "What do you want, Flintchest?"
"Need a seal. So the boy doesn't freeze Hamerfoss more than it already is." the smith crossed his arms, watching the mage and somehow still seeming completely at ease.
"Eh?!" Ivelm exclaimed, leaning far forward. Shon had to try hard not to crinkle his nose as the old man brought his face close enough that Shon could smell Ivelm's breath. Garlic, the mage ate a lot of garlic…
"So… you don't want to be a mage, do you?" he demanded, glaring down his nose at him. Shon shook his head and would have answered with a 'no ser.' except the mage continued, "Rather swing around some hunk of metal like a brute?"
Shon blinked stupidly, and Nangran cleared his throat, "Watch what you say about my swords, old man."
Ivelm ignored the smith as soundly as Nangran had ignored the Archmage, and continued to Shon, "The powers of the universe are at your fingertips. Blood blessed with the strength of the elements, and you wanna throw it all away," he threw his arms into the air, still uncomfortably close, "And for what? Some illusion of an honorable death by the sword?"
Shon didn't know what to say. He looked past the affronted mage's face, only an inch from his own, to Nangran. But the smith gave no sign he was going to help. Shon’s future depended on convincing this strange old man, this Archmage, to help…
Shon wasn't the type to try and convince anyone of anything, but the least he could do was explain himself. Shon stepped back from the mage to address him from a more comfortable distance. "I chose to dedicate my life to perfecting my art, and my art is martial combat," he said. Ivelm wrinkled his nose, his mouth twisting as if he were going to spit again, but Shon continued, "magic would be better served in the hands of someone who wants it badly enough to work for it. Like I've worked for my martial skills."
Ivelm leaned away from Shon, his eyebrows lifted into his frizzled gray hair. Shon looked to Nangran, hoping for some sign that this was a good response. The smith smiled from behind the mage.
"Soooo…" Ivelm drew the word out, "You think only those who dedicate themselves to strict study and practice should wield the power of the universe?" he leaned forward again, turning his head and fixing one eye on Shon like a bird. As if trying to catch him in a lie.
Shon nodded, confused, then asked, "Isn't that what it takes to effectively wield magic? Focused study?"
Ivelm didn't answer the question, instead turning his face to examine Shon with the other eye, scanning him up and down yet again. The old man had looked him up and down so much Shon wouldn't be surprised if the next question were about his hair or boots.
But Ivelm didn't ask another question. Instead, he stood straight and spat into the brass can with another ringing 'ting!' "I like this one," he said, turning his back on Shon and facing Nangran, "But it's too much." he shook his head, lifting his hands in helpless surrender, "Too much power, and ice at that. Stubborn element that one. And it's so finicky to block just elemental magic..."
Ivelm continued talking but Shon heard very little of it. A hole had opened in his gut, and it felt like his heart was racing his stomach to fall into it. But Nangran just rolled his eyes at the mage, interrupting, "Used to be the name in new magic items... made shackles to hold Archmages." he squinted at Ivelm, who had frozen mid-head shake, "Must've gotten rusty out…"
Ivelm snapped his fingers under the Smith's nose to stop him talking, "The mind does not rust, Flintchest!" he huffed, one bare foot tapping under his robe, "Not like your swords and shriveling muscles." Nangran just stared stubbornly, his thick, muscled arms still crossed over his broad chest.
The mage continued to tap his foot, his nose in the air. But as the silence stretched, Ivelm looked down at the smith, who continued to say nothing. The silent battle of wills ended when Ivelm threw his arms up in disgust and shook a finger under Nangran's nose, nearly hitting it, declaring, "I'll show you. I'll make a gem especially for this lad, and you'll see the mind only continues to grow sharper!"
He spun on his heel back to Shon, who had just made out the smith's returned smile from behind the mage when the old man snapped his fingers in Shon's face, making him jump. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come here so I can take some measurements!" Ivelm swung around again and marched across the room to a large workbench with plants and gems scattered across it. Shon scrambled after him, praying his thanks to Hengist and suddenly feeling light enough to float. His anxieties dropping away and melting like snow in summer.
It was already noon, and no one had come to see Her. She jumped up to grab the bars of Her window, pulling Herself up to peak out but seeing nothing but new snow and tree trunks. She was full to bursting with nervous energy, amplifying every sound and sensation. Footsteps sounded outside Her door, and She dropped from the window, sprinting across the room and resting Her ear on the wood.
“Ran, recheck the lab. Brom, with me.” Archmage Morndancer spoke with his strange alternation between draconic and common as he passed Her door without stopping. She could easily make out the swish of their robes on the stone hall leading away. Three people, Brom, Ran, and Archmage Morndancer. And yet the scurrying of too many feet to be only the two apprentices and Archmage Shaloon, sounded from the floor above. There were strangers in her tower again. Many strangers. Something was happening, something big…
She ran to Her window again, just for something to do, seeking some way to burn off some of the anxiety of not knowing what was going on around her.
A roar from down the hall, a roar of pain, sent ice washing through her veins. She slammed into the door at full speed. Pounding on the wood, She called out, “Brom?! Ran?!” Nothing. Then a yip cut short, followed by barking and yowling.
She shook the handle with both hands, rattling the door on its hinges, “BROM! RAN!” Something was happening to Her treasures, something terrible… The door handle began to glow, the metal warping and sagging as it melted. The knowledge that She would be in more trouble than She had ever been in before was nothing compared to Her terror. She wrenched the handle back with all Her might, splashing molten metal across Her bed, lighting fires that flared in her panic, and sending smoke to curl up to the ceiling.
She didn’t care. She shouldered the door open and ran.
“Red?!” She passed the first open door but couldn’t stop as Ran called out to Her. Reaching Her treasures' room, She tried to stop but slipped, slamming into the ground with a sticky splash. A final whining bark started a buzzing in Her ears as She stared, transfixed, at Her hands. They were painted red. Warm and sticky. The overpowering stench of iron nearly made Her gag as She looked up to see Morndancer toss aside a glittering golden wolf pup, the body flopping limply over the corpse of its mother and siblings.
Her world went red.
The last sample was taken care of, but something roared with enough ferocity to shatter glass.
Morndancer's head snapped around in time for him to fall back, shielding his face with his hands as the Firewyrm exploded. White-hot fire engulfed Her and spread out to the stone floor and walls. His robes began to smoke, the new fire protection spells woven into them being overpowered by the sheer ferocity of the blaze.
Brom had no such spells, and he had only managed a single step towards the girl before he fell to the ground, writhing for only a moment before lying still. The Archmage heard Ran scream from the hall before the journeyman stumbled past the door, flailing wildly. Barely discernible as human inside the flames.
The Firewyrm moved towards him, stepping through Brom’s head, turned to ash, and blown up to dance in the air on the same heatwaves causing the girl's hair to wave wildly about Her. She didn't seem to notice, Her face was expressionless and her eyes glowed as red as the scales across Her cheek. Morndancer tried to snap his fingers, but the golden collar around Her neck melted, Her clothes burning off and leaving Her naked and terrible in the flames.
His robe was burning now, and only the pain of that could pull his eyes from the Firewyrm as he pointlessly tried to beat the fires off. He fell back, hitting the wall, which drooped, sagging and dripping molten stone onto his head and face. Then he fell further back, into a gate that opened behind him.
Shaloon pulled him through the portal and into the library three stories up. The Firewyrm roared again and the tower walls shook with the force of it. The gate closed, but Morndancer continued to burn. He could hear screaming. Was it him? Was he screaming? Fire burst up the spiral stairs in the middle of the room, and apprentices, both their own and many sent from the central and western Talon, scrambled about in a panic, some even leaping from the windows.
Shaloon cursed, holding out her hand and summoning her sword again. She had to draw the circle five times before a second gate finally formed, and she dove through it, pulling Morndancer along with her as it quickly closed. An apprentice reached through, and his arm fell at Morndancer’s feet, miles away in the sitting room of his manor back in Smildna.
He laughed. Shaloon slapped him, and he laughed. Ronni, his daughter, burst through the door, her own daughter, only a year old, perched on her hip, and still, he laughed. “What’s wrong?! What happened to him?!” he barely registered his daughter's words and continued to laugh, rolling around on the ground in mirthful madness.
“The Firewyrm She…” Shaloon started, but Morndancer yelled over her in draconic,
She is true! She is pure! She is rage! The children will come and raise the grandchildren! We have only to await the coming of those Chosen!” the room faded around him, becoming washed out and gray then finally black as he continued to laugh and shout, “They take those who slew them and use them to raise themselves anew…
He couldn’t feel his burns or the hands trying to settle him. He saw only darkness and stars. And the eyes of his Master boring into his soul from the outer planes.
Shon couldn't remember ever feeling so drained in his life. He'd been tired before, exhausted even, but it had never felt quite like this. The eccentric Archmage Ivelm had ordered him to 'empty his energy' into stone after stone. Measuring the weight, color, and temperature of each. Making notes in chalk directly on his table and talking to himself. Shon was shocked the first time he saw the smooth rock handed to him change from a translucent white to an onyx as black as his hair, but by the time they'd gone through the twentieth stone, Shon had decided to stop counting.
Ivelm, however, seemed to get more and more excited with each one. Giving Shon reason to suspect the mage may be taking the energy for himself. After what felt like hours, Ivelm finally stoppered the potion he'd mixed with the most recent jewel, glowing a soft pale blue, and stepped back from the workbench, bony hands on bony hips.
"It can be done." Ivelm swiveled to face Nangran, "He's strong, I don’t know how he managed not to manifest until now, but it's all focused in one elemental direction." he rubbed his chin and looked at the ceiling, completely ignoring Shon's arched eyebrow. "It has a bit of divine flavor as well. But I suppose that shouldn't be surprising for a training Paladin." The mage stopped musing and glared down his nose at Nangran, who had made himself comfortable in the oversized wingback chair by the fire, "It will have to be a lot bigger than a piece of jewelry would allow."
The smith just hummed and sipped at his mug. When had he gotten a mug? Shon looked from one old man to the other. It was apparent Ivelm wanted Nangran to ask him for details, but the ever stoic smith said nothing.
Shon was tired. His limbs felt heavy, and the weight of his simple uniform felt more like platemail. He was just about to ask what the Archmage meant, to hurry them along, when Ivelm threw his hands in the air and said, "You'll need to find somewhere to put it. I would recommend that." he pointed at the hilt of Shon's sword over his shoulder, continuing, "If the lad is insisting on swinging a metal stick around instead of harnessing the ultimate powers of the universe then that same stick might as well sap the power literally as well as figuratively." Shon arched an incredulous eyebrow but Ivelm wasn't paying attention, finishing, "I can get it down to about an inch and a half orb. At the smallest. If you want something different, say so now."
Nangran set his mug on the ground and stood with a grunt and a groan. Shon just wanted to go home and sleep for a week, so when the smith reached for the hilt of his sword for a closer look Shon hardly noticed, until the squat smith jerked it down to eye level. Shon swung his arms like a drowning man and stepped wide to prevent himself from falling over.
"Quit wigglin'," Nangran grumbled, studying the sword's pommel with a professional eye. "One and a half'll do, preferably in a tear…"
The mage snorted and continued to ignore the struggling half crouched Shon, his voice dripping sarcasm as he addressed the smith, "Shall I wrap it in silk for you as well?"
"Na." Nangran let go of the sword, and Shon stood straight, lifting his leg to shake out the knee. "Drop it off when you’re done." the Mage snorted again but didn't counter.
None of them were interested in extending the visit, so Nangran grabbed his heavy cloak and shrugged it on while Shon waited by the door. "It will be at least a fortnight," Ivelm called from his position by the workbench, not about to walk them out.
Nangran grunted his confirmation and opened the battered and decrepit door, letting the wind and early autumn snow blow in on their way out. Shon followed numbly, his eyes unfocused as he walked, and ran right into the much shorter man. Nangran hardly moved as Shon bounced off of him. He was squinting into the distance, one large hand shading his eyes. Shon stared at Nangran for a moment before following the direction of his gaze over the tree line.
Smoke. A LOT of smoke. The black clouds billowed violently into the sky, occasionally lit from below by sparks shot high into the air.
"Elm!" Nangran shouted. Shon had never heard the man call so loudly. The Archmage must have also been shocked because the door to his hut swung open and he stuck his head out to look to either side, eyes wide.
"Flintchest, what?" but he soon saw what, "But, that's the old chemist's tower… What?" he stood in shocked confusion for a heartbeat before turning back into the hut. Shon looked from the shack to Nangran, but before he could say anything, the mage was back, struggling with two long rods, one blue with what looked like waves painted all around, the other black and studded with diamonds.
"Don't just stand there!" Ivelm snapped at the two as he finally managed to slip the blue rod into a sheath at his side. He then pointed the diamond rod at the space between two close-growing trees. Shon heard him say something unintelligible, and one of the diamonds shot out of the tip of the rod to hover between the trees before expanding into a portal.
Beyond the magical gate, Shon could hear the fire roar. It sounded how he imagined the burning hells might sound, but as he followed the two men through, he realized his imagination was tame by comparison.
The smell of burning flesh and hair choked him as they stepped clear of the gate's magic. The heat smashed into them like a wall, and all three brought their arms up to shield their faces. Around them were the charred remains of what looked like humans, their faces buried in the mud as if they'd been trying to run from the blaze. Shon had to swallow the bile that rose in his throat and focused instead on the fire Ivelm had said was a tower.
It was completely engulfed in bright flames of all colors. Squinting through the light, he could see the stone walls melting like wax. The arch of the doorway sagged in the middle, and Shon's eyes went wide. Someone was in there.
He would've had to shout over the roar of the flames, but it didn’t matter; Ivelm was already raising the blue wand, jerking his fingers in strange ways and mouthing words impossible to hear. Water shot out the tip of the wand with the force of a ballista and hissed against the glowing stones.
It wasn't possible. It must be a trick of the flickering flames. But the figure turned its face to them, long hair whipping about as it took steps in their direction.
"Don't just stand there, boy!" Ivelm screamed. "They must have a fire-resist spell; those things don't last forever!"
Nangran grabbed Shon’s upper arm, pulling him a step closer to the fire and down so he could shout in his ear, "Freeze a path."
Shon swallowed. He was so tired, literally drained. He didn't know what to do or how to do it. But the figure in the fire reached out to them only to pull away from a drop of molten rock. Shon fell to his knees, placing his hands on the ground and pleading silently to Hengist. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to control the power. He tried picturing a path of snow between himself and the tower base, concentrating on it until the mental image overlaid the real world, as he did when imagining phantom fighters during practice.
Ice snaked its way from Shon's fingers towards the burning tower along his mental path, powered by the fear that he wouldn't be fast enough to save the person inside. The water from Ivelm's wand helped carve the way, and Shon grunted physically as he struggled to push mentally. His breathing came heavy and ragged. He could feel the fire melting the edges of the ice as if it were a part of him. Still, he fought back and forced it to continue to form into solid sheets moving closer and closer to the figure still trapped in the tower.
Wherever the ice formed solid, it stayed. The fire drawing back from it until, finally, it reached the doorway. He urged the ice to climb up the doorframe, to hold it in place and keep it from falling, from moving at all.
Shon was seeing double. He struggled to focus on the figure and flinched as they stepped onto the frozen path. The ice hissed and melted under their bare unsteady feet, he could feel it... feel them, their heat, on his ice.
It was a young woman. Or an older girl. She was naked; her clothes burned away by the fire. Her long hair was being blown forward by the heat of the burning tower, obscuring her face. As she moved closer, Shon could make out strange red stripes snaking around her body, standing in stark relief against her pale skin.
Ivelm stepped in front of him then, throwing Nangran's cloak around her shoulders as she crumpled to the ground. Nangran himself knelt beside Shon, resting one massive hand on the Squire's back. "You can stop, lad…" his voice trailed off, and Shon felt an emptiness open in his chest. No one could have survived that, not if they hadn't already made it to the entrance like the girl. As if to punctuate the thought, Shon managed to focus his eyes only to see the tower's entrance wall fold and collapse in on itself, the stones flowing like soft wax.
--- Table of Contents ---
Sorry for the double post today. I wanted to keep Ch 14 & 15 together.
Thanks for making it this far, you are the real MVP
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2023.06.03 19:42 BoringEnidRollins Being admitted after planned outpatient surgery

Hi all! 3dpo here, total laparoscopic hysterectomy with bilateral salpingectomy, kept ovaries. My surgery was on May 31. One thing I was wondering pre-surgery was going home the same day vs. being admitted. What were the reasons someone might end up having to stay in the hospital overnight? Well, now that this has happened to me, I can share my experience, in case anyone else was wondering the same thing.
The plan was same day discharge, but apparently I lost a lot of blood. My hemoglobin dropped 1.5 points, and it was already low to begin with due to anemia. So I was admitted overnight for observation. Also, once they had made the decision to admit me, I hadn't been able to pee yet, and took hours for it to be possible. They straight cathed me at some point. It wasn't until later that evening that I could pee, maybe at around 9 pm. I suspect the inability to pee would have been enough to keep me if my blood counts had been fine.
My hemoglobin dipped a bit more when they checked the next morning, but not a lot, so they deemed me ready go to home.
Reading everyone's experiences here was super helpful. If you also were admitted instead of going home that same day, share that here, if you wish!
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2023.06.03 19:42 stalkercat21 I'm in love with two people and I need to get the story off my chest

My love life is a mess and I've never really been able to open up to anyone about my relationship situation and how it's played out, so here it is.
I apologize beforehand for the rambling mess this is going to be. But I so desperately want to get this out into the world and, well, off my chest. Buckle in, it's a long one.
I've(27F) known N(26NB) since high school and always been allured by them, but we were never available at the same time or around each other more than the occasional friendly gathering. I went away to college and had issues with my then BF, N was my confidant in so many ways when I was away and isolated from my family on an internship and N had been keeping in contact better than BF at the time had been. We got too close then, BF at the time became uncomfortable, I had crossed a line with intimate messages. I had no idea at the time how much N felt towards me. Because of my error my college BF banned me from speaking with N or being alone with them. Reasonable, or at least I thought so at the time. Almost two years later I broke up with my college BF, that's when things really started getting complicated.
Because of the previous conflict and other circumstances N wasn't really in my life at the time. I fell in love with G(27m). G and I were and are two peas in a pod. They pushed me to work on my mental health, to chase my career goals, to strive towards a family. G had a son from a previous relationship that led me to tackle my fear of parenting and children and made me realize that I did want a family.
Then G's mother passed. I had never been good with understanding grieving, and G had never had to grieve in that way before. I was raised in a family that had the mentality of "People die, get over it, move on." Words I regretfully told G in one of our final fights as we broke up. See, G's mother was sick and dying when we started dating, her death had been looming on the horizon the entire time I was with G, she got two more years than the doctors predicted. I was by G's side through it all. Stepping up to take care of his son and being the parent I had previously been terrified of being. G saw me struggling and knew they were too emotionally unavailable to make me happy, so they posited that I should get closer with N, whom I had recently reconnected with.
See, over the course of mine and G's four year relationship we had experimented and begun to practice polyamory. It fit well with our lifestyle for the most part, and we had the communication skills to follow through with it. Previous to me seeing N it had been mostly casually dating people for a few months here and there. But this time it was different. See, I had reconnected with N and all of the chemistry we had always had was back full force. We were highschool sweethearts who were caught in a honeymoon phase. G tried to be patient, wait out the honeymoon phase, but they needed me. I was falling deeper and deeper in love with N while G was losing my interest more and more.
For a while things were okay. Communication was good, I spent time with both partners and everyone felt fulfilled, myself included. But as issues arose I was growing further and further from G and I was getting closer and closer to N. Don't get me wrong. G knew where I was and what was going on. He consented to it. I know polyamory gets frowned upon often, but it really did work for us previous to this instance. The difference was N wasn't someone I wanted to put second. I loved them a lot. We had great chemistry, they listened to me when G wouldn't. They hyped up my personal hobbies when G actively told me he didn't care about them. They championed my mental health when G had pushed it aside. G began to resent the time I was spending with N, I began to resent G for not allowing me time with N without calls or texts, or constant badgering on when I'd be home or when was N going to leave. I started lying about how long i'd be, or when i'd be home. I'd stay up late to talk with N as G went to bed alone. I started stonewalling G, distancing myself, sleeping on the couch, pushing them away. I still can't believe the things I did and said to them, someone I loved then and still love now.
A big issue was that I felt like I had the whole world on my shoulders when I came home at night. At age 24 I put a roof over our head, I paid for my own health insurance while he was still getting it for free, I did the cooking, grocery shopping, farmed full time as the manager of a cattle herd that required me to basically be on call 24/7. I was raising a toddler that wasn't mine because he was too exhausted after work. I made less money than G, but paid half the bills and was reprimanded when i had no fun money to go do things with him. He'd often buy himself new tools and accessories for his hobbies, he bought a three wheeler for a large chunk of change and then talked about how he couldn't afford an engagement ring. I felt neglected and taken for granted. Then to top it off I had to step up to be a therapist to my partner who had lost all meaning to his life when his mother died.
G handled me roughly with his words and physicality, told me he didn't know how to be romantic. His pet name for me was "dumb bitch" it started as a joke, I didn't mind at first but then it became the normal. He didn't allow me to have time to myself because he needed me to sit and look at tiktoks with him for an hour, but they couldn't even be bothered to give me a kiss when they got home from work, he just plopped down in his recliner and asked me to take his boots off. I felt like a roommate at the end. Or even worse, a mother. To top it off, G had a 'mommy kink' which I usually wouldn't judge, i've always been extremely open minded in the bedroom but it was fairly jarring considering the circumstances.
I ended up breaking things off with N after a fight between G and I where he threatened to leave me if things didn't change. Our communication was non-existent. We fought all of the time and I resented him. It was harvest season on the farm, a time that comes with massive amounts of stress, and I had no support system. My family had no real idea what was happening because I didn't feel safe talking to them. (Lots of childhood trauma and very judgemental parents that have a bit too much control in my life because they sign my paychecks.) Up to this point my main support had been N and I had pushed them away in a feeble attempt to fix things with G. I knew in the back of my head that things were ending. I was scared of being alone, scared of being financially incapable of taking care of myself. I went through with it though. I told G I was done and wanted him out. He put the thoughts in my head when he gave me the aforementioned ultimatum of "things need to change" it's really when I started losing hope and he's admitted his regret for those words since then as well.
It takes six weeks for him to move out and back in with his father. In the meantime I live in the basement spare bedroom and office. I felt like a prisoner in my own home. Anytime I was caught upstairs in the main living areas hed corner me, try to goad emotional talks out of me, try to beg for attention. I was cold. I was tired. All I had wanted was space and he continued to smother me for his own needs while completely ignoring my own. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I would've caved and just went to bed with him at night for a week or so. If I wouldn't have stonewalled him. If I would've given him a second chance would he have changed for me? I ask myself that a lot.
After he moved out I started talking to N again. I was bad at being alone, and so was N. They missed me. I tried to keep my distance and stay single, heal, and become a better more independent individual. But in the back of my mind I couldn't help but question if I had left G for myself, or if I had left him for N. I still wonder about it to this day, and I truly don't have an answer.
N and I weren't really officially dating. We acted like partners but we had never really made it public or announced it. Our mutual friends had a rough idea of what was going on. They supported the two of us together, thought we were a perfect match, thought we were great for each other. But it still wasn't official. Mainly because it felt like it was too soon. I thought that N was the one though, that given some time and self improvement we'd be perfect for eachother. A wrench was thrown in that plan when G came back into my life after very little contact. We worked for a seasonal business together, we were civil and professional enough that we didn't think there would be any issues.
At a big seasonal event (a week long business convention) G and I reconnected. We aired out some things needed for closure. We talked through a lot of hurts and how just in a few months we had both grown so much. We had been separated maybe four months at this point. My feelings hit me like a freight train. I carried a lot of guilt for how fast I had moved with N after the breakup, and for the shitty things I had done and said to G during the breakup when I was highly emotional. I realized how quickly I had pushed this person to whom I had wanted to get married and have a family with away. I saw how much better he was doing after some more time to grieve his mother's death and get himself back on his feet. He had changed jobs to something with more manageable hours that still paid well and he had reclaimed some of his hobbies that he had let go to the wayside due to stress and depression. He was doing so good for himself and I suddenly regretted everything. I remember venting to him about all of my insecurities at the time, and my concerns for life, and for a change, he actually listened and comforted me. Something he hadn't done since the first few years of our relationship.
Fast forward to after the business convention, I tell N that I need space. I realize that, as much as I love them, I have a lot to figure out, and honestly I missed G. A lot. I still wasn't over them, and there was a part of me that wanted to be better and try to get them to take me back. G told me that it was a slim chance, a very very slim chance. He told me that even though the odds looked tough, if i needed to hang onto that small chance to challenge myself to be better, then to do it. So I tried. Tried being independant, more social, better at house keeping for myself. I got closer with G again, but still spoke daily with N. There was a lot of emotional turmoil in my life but I had them both in my daily life again, and I was so happy for it. I got physical with G a few times in the span of a couple weeks. We weren't serious, it was more-so that we missed each others intimacy. I enjoyed the way they taunted me, and the things they did to me, it was like the beginning of our relationship again. But better because we knew each other better.
It didn't last long. G started talking to another girl, we stayed close friends, but he started making attempts at moving on. It hurt like hell. I made myself be okay with it though, and I made friends with the new girl because I didn't want to lose him again. I went back to N at that point. I was lonely, and i missed their uplifting affection. Things got more and more serious and G got more serious with his partner as well. Soon enough N and I were officially dating.
Honestly, at this point, life was great. N and I had so much chemistry physically, there were some things I missed about G and certain aspects of my previously polyamorous lifestyle, but I gained a lot of new things with N. They were so much more caring and thoughtful and gentle. They could satisfy me better. Almost a full year went by, N was basically living with me, I had some hiccups where I needed space, but we worked through them. But, then it started happening again. G came back. He was struggling with his relationship and venting to me about it. I hurt for him, I knew he deserved better. I wanted to be that for him despite my own relationship. I told myself that G and I couldn't work out, I told everyone that would listen that we were like oil and water. All the while we were each-others confidants. I lied to myself even. Tried to convince myself that I didn't have feelings like that for him anymore.
I began having issues of discontentment with my relationship with N. I craved a partner with the independence and social extroversion that G had grown to have, meanwhile N was very dependant on me for many things, and was extremely introverted. I truly did love them how they were, but the grass is always greener I guess. I hate myself even now for the things I thought and the way I felt about it all. I tried my best to communicate my problems, even going as far as admitting to N that I was still in love with G. It hurt them, but it wasn't a surprise. G and I had been hanging out as friends more and more, he had left his gf and was now single. N let me spend time with G with no fuss, they didn't want to deprive me of someone they knew I cared about. But being around G made me start to lose patience with N. It was history repeating itself opposite. N saw it happening, they started to get clingier, they were insecure. I can't blame them. They'd been on the opposite side of the situation before. They knew how I could be emotionally.
A giant moment was when G was telling me about his vasectomy consultation. As he was describing the process and how it would go I started tearing up out of nowhere. I didn't know why, it was then that I realized I wanted a family. Up until this point N had been very adamant about being child free. G had been the only person i'd ever considered having kids with, and that was about to be gone completely. G point blank asked me if I wanted him to freeze some, just in case the future went that way. That he didn't have to tell anyone and it would be our secret. It sent me into sobs. I didn't realize how strongly I had felt about it until then. At this point things just kept getting more complicated.
I tried to stay invested in my relationship with N. But it was getting more and more difficult. We had some trips planned, we had conversations about wanting a family, and our future. Possible career changes for them, they wanted to face some of their big anxieties so that they could be more independent. They even discussed the idea of having a kid someday and why they had been averse to it previously and how they felt it might be different with me. They constantly showed that they wanted to be a better person for me and were willing to put in the work.
I sit here typing this, knowing I still love them, knowing they were doing so much for me, and I wish I wouldn't have been so blind to it then. Instead of embracing their betterment, I told them I wanted to be single again. That I wanted to try to better myself alone and find my independence, the same things I told G when I left him. See, I had convinced myself that I wanted to get G back. That he was the person I was meant to be with. But every passing day my resolve waned. A week and a half after the breakup I ended up in G's bed again. He's confessed his feelings for me, how he wants to hash out old wounds and try again. At first I was all in. But now I just feel hollow. To top it off, I've kept in contact with N as well and we've been intimate since the break up. I have such strong feelings for the both of them and I don't know what to do about it. I could continue to try and go back to G, but he's dubious about having another kid, and marriage and all of the things that are important to me. I don't blame him. I broke his trust the first time we were together and I left him. I never gave him a chance to get better and I often feel genuinely evil for the way I acted while he was mourning the death of his mother. I was selfish and narrow minded.
But on the flip side, N is still right here comforting me, encouraging me, wanting me to succeed and be happy in life even without them, even though i know it kills them to see me go off and do things by myself or with G. It weighs on my mind all the time, the way they've professed undying love to me and told me that there is no one else for them. Because of their history and personality, it's hard not to believe it. They've always been so purely honest with me. I know that they'd take me back in a heartbeat, I don't feel worthy of their love.
What hurts the most and makes myself question everything is that through all this turmoil, being able to physically and emotionally interact with both of them at once is when I'm at my happiest and most fulfilled, but that's an impossible option. The idea of moving on from both and finding someone new is also an impossible option. They're both so much a part of me, and I live a lifestyle with a fair amount of isolation. I don't meet new people often at all, and I live a lifestyle that would require a partner to give up their life to join me, which means the older I get the less likely I am to find someone who is willing to do that. I don't think I can handle being alone forever and all I want is to move on to the next stage of my life. I'm pushing 30 and I feel like a 19 year old all over again.
This has been long and rambling and might not make much sense. To those who stuck through it and read it, thank you. To anyone who wants to weigh in, be it comments, advice, or criticism, I'll gladly accept it.
So Tl;Dr: I'm deeply in love with two people, have broken up with both of them seperate times to go to the other, but now I'm with neither and I question which one is the one for me or if I should just give up and be alone, knowing that one of the two will never move on from me and that I may never find as compatible partners because of my lifestyle.
submitted by stalkercat21 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:41 bird4progress Are we really okay with the state of and our options for the general election?

Are we really okay with the state of and our options for the general election?
Sorry for the video novice vibes. Definitely grill me as I need the direction and want to improve. The video was without a script off the top of the dome and edited afterward to add context. I'm a non-media trained individual who wanted to ask this in honest good-faith. Are we really okay with being forced a choice between a guy who needed to tell people he wouldn't serve a full term and would step down just to convince people to support him? Who needs to rely on scaremongering about the other side? A guy who already lost NH? Or the other guy who is talking about revoking some of the most important amendments which protect entire classes of people from being removed from the country. It's just not a choice. That's a hostage situation. Approval for Congress as a whole is at an all-time low. And the only guy suggesting making actual changes for better or worse is building steam.
We need a new deal. We need to hold a debate to talk about new, actually intelligent ideas. And most importantly , we need to not be scare to talk to people with the intent to show them there is a path forward to them; despite the literal terrorist running the show right now demanding we sacrifice grandma and hiring hitmen on reporters. We got to call out the system for it's flaws and educate other citizens. Education was targeted and privatized for a reason. Both guys running had a hand in that situation.
But what do you think?
submitted by bird4progress to seculartalk [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:40 GoatLord8 GoatZone [SMP] {Whitelist} {Community} {1.19.4}

Welcome to GoatZone - A Minecraft Java SMP that feels like home!
Looking for a place to build and explore with a close-knit community? Look no further than GoatZone! Our server is all about creating a relaxed and welcoming atmosphere, where players can unwind and have fun.
But that's not all - our world is completely fresh and will never be reset, meaning you can invest your time and creativity without the fear of losing anything. Our dedicated team of moderators ensures a safe and enjoyable experience for all players, and we're always open to suggestions on how we can improve our server.
Additionally, we offer an optional in-game proximity voice chat feature that enhances the social experience on our server. You can communicate with fellow players in real-time, adding a new level of immersion and collaboration to your gameplay.
In order to be clear and not mislead anyone, we would also like to note that we do not enforce or pressure anyone to be active. We have a very laid-back approach on GoatZone. All players are welcome to come and go as they want whenever they have the time and motivation to do so. Because of this, the player activity may vary. Sometimes you will encounter several people online, while at other times, you may see none. However, everyone is always available and socializes on our Discord server when unavailable to play.
Whether you're a seasoned Minecraft veteran, a newcomer to the game, or just want a place to hang out, you'll find a home at GoatZone
Join us today by applying here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScVgPgupuX3beq3OsvqVkWiRnRgNnDJlNsYeX37n3yQ1EJ9eA/viewform
submitted by GoatLord8 to MinecraftServerFinder [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:40 t7716 Front door sill problem

I'm facing a bit of a problem with my front door sill, and I could use some expert advice. I recently replaced the main piece of the sill, but there's still an area that needs to be covered. Unfortunately, i haven’t found a piece that interlocks with the new piece that would fit to cover the exposed area..the main door sill with the black on it was found at home depot, it’s frost king
I purchased another frost king piece on Amazon , but it sits too low and also doesn't interlock with the existing saddle. Now I'm brainstorming other solutions and considering options like using marble or something that could fit this better
What do you think would be the best way to tackle this problem? Have any of you dealt with a similar situation? I'd appreciate any suggestions or experiences you can share. Thanks in advance for your help!
submitted by t7716 to homeowners [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:40 t7716 Front door sill problem

I'm facing a bit of a problem with my front door sill, and I could use some expert advice. I recently replaced the main piece of the sill, but there's still an area that needs to be covered. Unfortunately, i haven’t found a piece that interlocks with the new piece that would fit to cover the exposed area..the main door sill with the black on it was found at home depot, it’s frost king
I purchased another frost king piece on Amazon , but it sits too low and also doesn't interlock with the existing saddle. Now I'm brainstorming other solutions and considering options like using marble or something that could fit this better
What do you think would be the best way to tackle this problem? Have any of you dealt with a similar situation? I'd appreciate any suggestions or experiences you can share. Thanks in advance for your help!
submitted by t7716 to HomeImprovement [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:38 Overeducated_catlady How day 2 of my honeymoon is going

This is a flair that started around 5pm the day before. I was laying down pretty much the whole time in a hospital bed so this amount of tachycardia is pretty severe for me since I don’t usually have it this bad when I’m laying down (and I don’t have IST).
My husband and I have never been on a big trip in the 10yrs we’ve been together so going to Paris for two weeks is huge for us and we were so excited!
Well, after a long flight and a little bit of walking around the city, I ended up in a major flair and was hospitalized. The ER doc was concerned I had a pulmonary embolism because in addition to tachycardia and low blood pressure I also had fever and chest pain. I did explain to them that I have POTS but they didn’t really seem to be familiar with it. After 9 hours in the worst hospital I’ve ever been in (filthy, rude nurses and no compassion), they gave me one measly bag of fluids and sent me home with Tylenol. Covid test was negative/normal as were all other scans, bloodwork, etc. I’m thinking this was all just a bad POTS flair from traveling and walking ? I dunno. I knew the trip could be hard on my body but I guess I naively thought I’d be ok. Now I’m in bed and basically two plus days of our trip are a waste.
I know, I know, I am in PARIS (!) and so fortunate and shouldn’t be complaining. But what can I say, im Still really bummed. We had reservations for a few things today and can’t get that money or time back. My husband is very supportive and doing his best to put on a happy face and make it seem like no big deal but I feel terrible that I’m always a burden. Maybe I just shouldn’t travel anymore. 😔. Anyway, friends, thanks for listening. If you have any tips for how I survive the rest of our trip, please share
submitted by Overeducated_catlady to POTS [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:37 _crapitalism Gutþiuda Confederation - The Greutungi

Claim: The Greutungi
Claim type: Sedentary Tribe
Map: Red
Centuries after migrating from the frigid, barbarous shores of Northern Europe, the Greutungi, under the leadership of the Auding clan, have turned their home on the Black Sea from simple fishing villages, into proper, respected ports utilized by Greeks, Anatolians, Thracians, and all who wish to access goods from the plains of eastern Europe.
These ports, however, serve a secondary function. With easy access to the far larger sea to the south, the Greutungi have become notorious for plundering established cities of Hellenes, Phoenecians, and Egyptians. Possessing ships as large as they are maneuverable, such raids have become common way for young men to quickly earn vast riches and status as low nobility in their capital city of Pandakapn.
While not traditionally in control of the position of Grand Arbiter, the man who mediates all conflicts within the confederation, the Greutungi have always been open to mediation and improving relations with the other members of the Gutþiuda, whose river access was critical for the continued success of the Gretungi's ever-growing maritime domination.
submitted by _crapitalism to HistoricalWorldPowers [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:37 allenmoroz [QCRIT] Adult Fantasy, THE TEAHOUSE ATOP THE WORLD (85k, Eighth Attempt)

After another brand-new draft I've shifted my whole focus over to a different part of the story and a different style of telling it. Thanks to the comments I received last time I tried it out, and wanted to see what you folks think of it. I tried to make it more voicey/interesting to read. Let me know if you think it's an improvement and in what ways it can be improved. Other than that, I feel a bit dumb for wasting a lot of my (and your) time editing the same query draft over and over when I probably should have wiped the slate clean and applied the advice from there.
Complete at 85,000 words, THE TEAHOUSE ATOP THE WORLD is an adult fantasy-romance standalone with series potential. It is set on the Plateau, a realm inspired by the medieval Tibetan Empire. It will appeal to fans of sapphic fantasy like THE TIGER’S DAUGHTER and has a similar tone and thoughtful prose as THE EMPRESS OF SALT AND FORTUNE.
Pema (18) is your run-of-the-mill teahouse owner—except she lives in the shadow of the world’s tallest mountain. When she’s not serving glory-seekers she’s got her eye on the peaks above. Even a lowly merchant can dream.
But when a foreign woman with demonic horns collapses on her doorstep, Pema is left speechless. What’s worse is that the foreigner, Saeng, warns of corpses walking in the mountains. It excites Pema deep down. By all rights, it shouldn’t; she’s some poor merchant, not an adventurer. In her interpretation of her religion, striving for a life beyond your station is immoral. Yet a side of her repressed by her low status shows forth.
And what’s even stranger for Pema is her connection to Saeng. It could be Saeng’s stoicism in the face of mystery, or how embarrassed she gets when caught wolfing down a bowl of shapta, but there’s something inexplicably cute about her. Furthermore, Saeng seems receptive to Pema’s enthusiasm to uncover what haunts the top of the world.
The duo spot a corpse light glowing from a mountain monastery. The perfect place to start. They set out against deathly cold and deadlier heights. Despite the odds, they have each other to lean on, together stronger than the mountains above.
I am a young, disabled, queer writer based out of Alaska. When not hiking up mountains, I can be found practicing archery or studying history. I’ve worked in tourist shops like Pema’s teahouse, serving adventurers from across the world.
submitted by allenmoroz to PubTips [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:36 General_Gengar I want to stop thinking about dating and friendship. I am a walking disaster

I am the kind of person who would seriously traumatize anyone who dates me. I face an insurmountable road to improve myself to a point where I wouldn't just traumatize some random woman.
If you read this list of faults and you decide that I should keep inserting myself into other people's lives, then I don't know what to tell you. I have failed myself and my family my entire life. I have never been good enough to succeed at anything. I'm not even a good caretaker for my brother.
I just want the thoughts to stop. I tried to run away from any space that talked about loneliness, but I just got lonelier. If I could get better at suffering in silence, the lives of those around me would improve dramatically.
submitted by General_Gengar to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:35 autotldr Forest fires force thousands out of their homes in Quebec in the North Shore

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 85%. (I'm a bot)
Thousands of people were ordered out of their homes in and around Sept-Îles, Que., because of two fires burning nearby, with more than 100 wildfires burning across the province.
With the number of out-of-control forest fires across Quebec having quickly multiplied, the city of Sept-Îles on the province's North Shore has declared a local state of emergency and has put in place a mandatory evacuation order for several neighbourhoods.
Steeve Beaupré, mayor of Sept-Îles, said one of the two out of control forest fires in the region spread south, near Sept-Îles, overnight.
With 120 fires burning, Quebec asks for army's help.
The province's fire prevention agency, the Société de protection des forêts contre le feu, is warning Quebecers that more fires are out of control than the agency can handle.
The situation in the town of Chapais in northern Quebec - where about 1,000 people had to leave their homes this week - has improved, but Caron said the biggest worry is about the fires in Sept-Îles.
Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: fire#1 Sept-Îles#2 people#3 Friday#4 community#5
Post found in /worldnews, /Quebec and /canada.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
submitted by autotldr to autotldr [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:35 autotldr Forest fires force thousands out of their homes in Quebec in the North Shore

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 85%. (I'm a bot)
Thousands of people were ordered out of their homes in and around Sept-Îles, Que., because of two fires burning nearby, with more than 100 wildfires burning across the province.
With the number of out-of-control forest fires across Quebec having quickly multiplied, the city of Sept-Îles on the province's North Shore has declared a local state of emergency and has put in place a mandatory evacuation order for several neighbourhoods.
Steeve Beaupré, mayor of Sept-Îles, said one of the two out of control forest fires in the region spread south, near Sept-Îles, overnight.
With 120 fires burning, Quebec asks for army's help.
The province's fire prevention agency, the Société de protection des forêts contre le feu, is warning Quebecers that more fires are out of control than the agency can handle.
The situation in the town of Chapais in northern Quebec - where about 1,000 people had to leave their homes this week - has improved, but Caron said the biggest worry is about the fires in Sept-Îles.
Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: fire#1 Sept-Îles#2 people#3 Friday#4 community#5
Post found in /worldnews, /Quebec and /canada.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
submitted by autotldr to autotldr [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:34 redwing641 Do music streamers really make a noticeable difference in sound quality?

I’ve considered getting a dedicated music streamer for my 2.1 setup because I’ve heard they improve sound quality (higher bitrate, low jitter, etc.). Is the difference in sound quality really that noticeable? I usually stream my music with Tidal over Bluetooth. Thanks in advance for any advice!
submitted by redwing641 to audiophile [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:33 JadedFlea Need Help Resolving this Storyline

This is a sci fi story about a group of people who run a space station that operates on a shift based schedule and everyone goes home to their home planets after their shifts. The group is managed by an evil tyrant posing as a normal space manager.
Characters: - Sarah Marshall: Space Receptionist and part-time space warrior. Donates regularly to the charity that aids innocent Martian child orphaned by warfare. Like’s animated shows and designing ui for websites. - Dave Simon: Space Accountant. Lives along with a goldfish. Frequently blogs about bird watching. Very sensitive and understanding.Sarah hopes to ask him out. - Joe Gunn: Astro Technician. Works on second floor of stationplace might be also on Vilespit’s side. Sarah has no idea since she’s barely seen him. - Bonnie Davis: Shipmate and Former Best Friend of Sarah. Wears hair in a tight bun and is a dog groomer. Collects numerous stuffed animals especially the giant microbe ones. - Countess Vilespit: Evil Space Manager Bitch who rules over stationplace with an iron fist and convinces the Space Lords of the station that the people pleading for her removal are liars. Has bleached shoulder length hair and is possibly wearing contacts to make eyes brighter than normal. Unclear what she does in private time as her spacedIn page hasn’t been updated in months.
I don’t know much about space and have read some articles by NASA. Please excuse any minor errors.
The story starts with the space receptionist Sarah being screamed at by the wicked countess for not properly filling out a form. Sarah tries her hardest to maintain her composure while enduring this ordeal. Vilespit (while sharpening her claws) then remarks that Sarah should stop looking at Spacebook during work.
To make matters worse Bonnie thinks that Vilespit has a point and that Sarah should work at improving her reception skills (plus stop taking the time to take a mental break from Vilespit’s abuse).
Recently Sarah has learned Vilespit and Dave Simon are cousins which means he might be slightly more biased towards Vilespit’s opinions. She’s also learned Joe Gun sent out wedding invites but did not send Sarah an invite even though he sent one to Vilespit. Sarah is dismayed as she gave Joe stardust cookies after he spent the whole day resolving an issue she had on her space computer.
Should Sarah document Vilespit’s actions and email to space lords? Should she just give up and pursue a different job at a new station? Is Bonnie right? Should Sarah loosen up?!
submitted by JadedFlea to writingcirclejerk [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:31 Moist-Distribution85 Day 6 complete 144.5 hours, on to day 7 🙌

As the title, still going, started day 7 30 mins ago 🙌
Definitely getting better every day, if only by a tiny amount.
Took my boy to his swimming lesson this morning and sat around the other parents and coped OK with it.
Decided to go on a bike ride again today and managed 15k quite easily, the weather is great here and I didn't feel like I was in a rush to get home.
When I did this on day 4 I really struggled and couldn't wait to get home and lay down, so definitely an improvement.
Came home and cleaned the house with music blasting out and actually felt normal, if I'm doing something I'm fine, it's when I sit down, my mind starts to wander and the uncomfortable feeling starts.
I'm going to beat this shit whatever it takes.
If you're struggling, know that it does get better, keep going and never ever look back, we've got this 💙
submitted by Moist-Distribution85 to quittingkratom [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:30 zz99xx66vv33 Budget Assistance

Single Don’t want a relationship
Age 32.5 Male
No kids Don’t want kids
No pets Don’t want pets
No roommates Don’t want roommates
Annual Pretax Income with no overtime available: $54,516.80
Annual Income with no overtime after Federal, State, Social Security, Medicare and 3% Roth 401k Company Match: $41,504.49
Annual expenses . . . including sinking funds and maxing Roth IRA: $41,089.75
Annual income without overtime minus annual expenses: $414.74
Annual Expenses below: *$7,913.51 Healthy Food (I eat 100% healthy for $21.68 per day for 2,930 calories)
*Principle and Interest on fifteen year fixed rate $90,000 3.625% mortgage. Bought March-2022: $7,787.16
*Roth IRA: $6,500
*Home Maintenance Fund: $4,200 (4% of home appraisal to be conservative)
*Heat: $1,535.18
*Vehicle Replacement Fund (I drive 4,672 miles per year. Bought new vehicle on May 2, 2016): $1,428
*Yardwork Outsource: $1,387
*Water, Electric and Sanitation: $1,386.44
*Vehicle Maintenance Fund: $1,200
*Home Insurance: $1,013.03
*Upgrade Macbook Pro every 4 years Fund January 24, 2023: $881.45
*Verizon least expensive unlimited plan: $844.80
*Property Tax: $778
*Gas Money (30 mpg on $4.76 per gallon to be conservative): $741.29
*Doctor Copays: $720
*Filing Taxes with CPA: $411.25
*Three pairs of shoes Replacement Fund: $396
*Umbrella Insurance: $341
*Extra Dental Cleanings beyond insurance: $288
*upgrade iPhone every year fund: $287
*car insurance: $232.66
*air pods max headphones upgrade fund: $214.82
*dental insurance premiums through work: $122.50
*PMI gone after Year 3: $90
*foot insert replacement fund: $88.44
*car tabs: $87.25
*medications: $80
*safety deposit box rental: $50
*cell phone cleaning wipes: $21.72
*lip balm: $18.84
*mouthwash: $15.17
*toothbrush: $14.45
*toothpaste: $11.19
*driver’s license renewal: $6.60
*Disability insurance premiums through work: $0.00
*health insurance premiums through work: $0.00
*life insurance premiums through work: $0.00
*drinking water: $0.00
No debt to my name pardon the mortgage.
Median annual pretax income from my 11-years with my employer: $62,497
Average annual pretax income from my 11-years with my employer: $68,826.81
I am required by my employer to be free: Mon-Fri: 9:30am-10:00pm Sat: 4:45am-11:00am Sun: 1:15pm-10:00pm *Paid Time can be anywhere from 40-74.5 hours per week depending on business needs.
I am on Baby Steps 4 & 6. I believe I contribute 14.92% towards Roth retirement with no overtime available.
My overtime money I have not been consistent: -sometimes I put more money into Roth 401k
-sometimes I put more money into Brokerage Account index fund VTSAX
-sometimes I buy Series I Savings Bonds to replace part of my emergency fund
-I have not made any additional payments on my mortgage besides minimum payments so far.
I would like to make $70,000+ pretax minimum each year ideally for more wiggle room financially. Time is a bit hard due to my obligations towards my employer. I am basically free Saturdays 11:00am-10:00pm and Sundays 8:00am-1:15pm. Right now I just sit home and play Minecraft: Java Edition, Single Player, Hardcore, Newest Update in my free time. I feel guilty and feel I should find a way to earn $70,000 guaranteed income per year.
***168 hour workweek allocation with max overtime available: 74 hours paid work 3 hours unpaid lunches 10.5 hours driving to and from work, including waiting to punch in 70 hours laundry, hygiene, going to sleep and sleeping 10.5 hours free for hobbies
***168 hour workweek allocation with no overtime available: 40 hours paid work 2.5 hours unpaid lunches 7.5 hours driving to and from work, including waiting to punch in 70 hours laundry, hygiene, going to sleep and sleeping 48 hours free for hobbies
Not eligible for HSA.
Will live in my home until Max Age Social Security checks (then build a new elderly friendly home on Lot B; I own 2 Lots next to each other). Current home is 2 bed, 1 bath, 604 square feet with a river in my backyard. Peaceful and quiet.
I will take Social Security at Max Age.
100% Stocks. 0% Bonds (for retirement; part of my emergency fund is Series I Savings Bonds).
My worst “reckless spending” is my food budget. Last year I spent $40.22 per day on food. $21.68 per day today is a huge improvement (I realize it is still a lot for 1 adult). Otherwise no other addictions.
submitted by zz99xx66vv33 to DaveRamsey [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:28 Disturbedfuel15 Advice--Home Depot says I am lying about having received an order. I think I'm out the money.

I come seeking advice because I am completely lost on what I can do!
I purchased two sump pumps from home depot's website:
https://www.homedepot.com/p/DEWALT-1-3-hp-Stainless-Steel-Cast-Iron-Submersible-Sump-Pump-DXWP62383/320869066 and also the 1/2hp model. So 1/3 and 1/2hp models.
I had them shipped to home because the nearest home depot is 30 minutes from me. It was free anyway.
I received a FedEx package that is 19x17x13", claiming to be 47lbs.
I opened the package and I received one 1/2hp sump pump, package dimensions 15x12x11", weighing exactly 33lbs. So here's the first part, I have no idea where they got the 47lbs from. If you look at the two pumps right on that page, you'll see they claim to be 24 and 27lb... which equals 51lb, and that is without the packaging. As I said, the 1/2hp one I received actually weighs 33lbs (I weighed it myself).
So we have UNDISPUTABLE evidence here that I did not receive both sump pumps:
1) Without the packaging, just the products themselves weigh more than the FedEx package claimed to weigh.
2) There is no way you can fit two 15x12x11" boxes inside a 19x17x13" box. The 1/3hp one I did not receive is nearly the same size as the one I did receive, it's not monumentally smaller where it could have fit.

So I called home depot pro support, as I am a member. I explained the above and the associate said "We have that the sump pumps only weight 21 and 26lbs, so the 47lbs would make sense. We can only go off of weight reported by FedEx." I re-explained it is mathematically impossible for the two pumps to have fit in the box, to which she responded "It looks to me like they'd fit fine, you'll have to take it up with your bank." Mind you, my 'bank' in this case is Home Depot credit card, which I opened for this project. I offered to send pictures of the sump pump box inside the shipping box, but they don't care because their weight (wherever they got it from) matches FedEx's.

Other than switching to Lowes for everything from now on (same military discount, seems like larger selection), does anybody have any advice on how I can recover my money? I'm so fed up with HD, this was a multi-thousand dollar order and they have messed it up more than I ever thought possible. I took two days off of work to get the project done and it was wasted. One of the days I spent actually in the store, as they tried to find my two pickup orders, which we found out were "cannabalized" by other employees for other people's orders, so they had to re-pick them while I stood there. First-world problems, I know, but I'm not about to roll over and say "well at least I have a roof over my head." I can't let them get away with this!
Thank you in advance, I know it was lengthy. My only thought from here is to take another day off work to drive back to home depot and talk face to face with a manager. I've never asked to 'speak with a manager' but I don't know what else to do! Thanks again.
submitted by Disturbedfuel15 to HomeImprovement [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:27 llBLAZENll I just need to shout into the void for a minute

I have been low contact with my mother for the last 10 years. We have texted back and forth with a handful of phone calls or video calls here and there.
She has been hemming and hawing the last decade that she wanted to have a closer relationship. However she doesnt actually put in the effort. She deleted my husband off facebook which is my only digital connection. She would frequently flake out on our plans to video call. She never picked up the phone to just have a chat. She never came to visit, even after ive had two kids. The one time I visited her before my kids were born I regreted the wasted time and money as she didnt actually spend any quality time with me while I was there. I send her gifts and cards for holidays, however she cant afford to even send a card she says. Texting is really all we do with any consistency.
She recently fell on even harder financial times as she lost her roomate. She has always had a money trigger. She baited and guilt tripped and catastrophized about how hard things have been money wise. Eventually she said she was going to have to get rid of her cell phone because she couldnt afford it anymore. She went on about it for several months before she got rid of it. She still has a landline phone. Instead of keeping the cell phone, our only real form of relationship, she kept the landline.
Now. I saw her try to call me on mothers day. I had sent a card but tbh she always ruins my day on holidays. I was having a really perfect mothers day with my family and just wanted to enjoy the day drama free so i let it go to voicemail. She did not leave one.
I tried calling her back the next day. Her landline doesnt have voicemail so it just rang endlessly. I have tried calling every weekend since. No answer ever. My mother does not work. I know for a fact she has been home, seen the caller ID, and just lets it ring.
Part of me is relieved that I wont have to interact with her as much. She found ways to upset me even when we were just texting. But part of me just dreads the next time we talk because I know shes going to guilt trip me for the lack of contact. Thats why ive faithfully called every weekend, so I will have a way to back myself up. Part of me just grieves the healthy relationship I never had with a parent. A relationship that is free of the pettiness and landmines. So many people have judged me for being so cold to her, ive contemplated just telling people my parents have passed.
submitted by llBLAZENll to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:26 robs532 Returning after an 8 year break - what to do about equipment

After an 8-year break due to life getting in the way I've finally recaught the bug and started playing regularly. I was off 4 before my break and played mizuno mp-64s. Now I've returned I hit it a fair bit shorter and more erratitc than my hay day and therefore i think it's time to swallow my pride and stick in some more forgiving game improvement irons. What are peoples thoughts on custom fit? I understand the need for shaft length but i wouldn't want anything too drastic that could hamper swing changes as i naturally improve. Anything i should be wary of when getting fit for new irons? I favour a high draw ball flight by default with my current bad shot being a toe hit and a low hook if that makes a difference.
submitted by robs532 to golf [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:25 Arrogant_Artichoke Laptop for 3D artist

Im a proffesional 3D artist working mostly in Blender, Houdini, Unreal and Nuke. But when I come home from work I want a laptop for experiments in said programs (no space for a full deaktop)
This laptop would be a desktop replacement.
Budget: 2-3k dollars.

* Great performance
* 16 inch screen (good colors accuracy and brightness)
* Numpad
* Min 32gb ram
* Relatively low fan noise

* Sound (wont use speakers much)
* Battery life
* Weight

I have narrowed it down to these two candidates:
* Lenovo Legion pro 7
* Acer Helios 16

Please help me if you have experience with these laptops or can suggest other models for 3d work!
submitted by Arrogant_Artichoke to blender [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 19:25 654456 I have a chromeOS problem

I started with a chromebook, I broke the hinge. I replaced it with another, I have used it for 90% of my computing over the last two years outside of work. The problem is despite having a mobile device I have recently picked up 2 I5 Acer chromeboxes and I don't even know why or what I am really going to use them for. I have a gaming PC but I am using one of the chromeboxes right now instead of using the gaming pc to make this post even though I am sitting at a desk with the gaming PC connected. I also have a server downstairs that handled the bulk of my PC tasks outside of gaming. I am likely going to put the second one behind my work laptop as I do have a dedicated home office just to have a personal device in that room that is as easy as switching inputs on the monitor to use as I am a firm believer in never using a company device for personal reasons. Rather than finding my Chromebook and it being dead or otherwise being in the way of my desk.
Even with an SSD the lightning-fast boot of these chromeboxes is just so nice, they are also just extremely low power which is nice and they are perfectly fine for my daily PC tasks and more with Linux running behind the OS though I hardly use it. I think mostly why I am adding these chromeboxes despite already having a Chromebook is the battery and it's nice to have a dedicated desk for PC tasks.
I guess my question other than just stating that ChromeOS can replace Windows/Mac for the bulk of people if a "Power User" like myself can use it for 90% of my computing. How many other people are running multiple ChromeOS devices in their house and what are you using them for. Also why are chromeboxes not more popular?
submitted by 654456 to chromeos [link] [comments]