WORLD IFA/ORISA FESTIVAL AND PILGRIMAGE 2023/2024
Preamble The Pilgrimage for this year took a new turn. The Pilgims who attended this year's event was unprecedented. So far, we recorded the highest number of Pilgrims. Also, people came from Rep Du Benin, Rep Du Togo, Cote d'Ivoire, Yoruba people from Gambia were in attendance. Also in attendance were Pilgrims from USA, Venezuela, Mexico, Chile, Colombia, etc. Those who could not attend physically sent their various Ifa messages on Ogunda Ose. Messages came from Brasil, Cuba, Argentina, Spain, Germany, Ecuardo, Trinidad and Tobago, Barbedos, Jamaica etc. It was truly a Pilgrimage and Festival of World dimension. It is completely beyond the shores of Yoruba land!!!
Health Right from the 20th of May when all Pilgrims converged at Ado Ekiti, our Medical teams were busy attending to the medical needs of the people, both Pilgrims and indigenes of the communities that we went to. The health of the people is one of our major priorities.
Transportation and Logistics: Because there were more Pilgrims who attended this year's Festival and Pilgrimage, there were more vehicles which conveyed the Pilgrims to the various Holy Sites. Everything went smoothly, all thanks to the Green Circle International and the Ekiti State Ministry of Arts and Culture. The Director of Arts and Culture deserves our special mention. His diligence made everyting stress free for us throughout the 9-day period.
Our thanks and gratitude go to all the Royal Fathers who stood by us throughout the Pilgrimage period.
Our thanks also go to His Exellency, the Governor of Ekiti State who graciously released Oke Igeti, the home of Orunmila to us. Not only that, the Governor promises to develop Oke Igeti to Holy site of International standard. The International Council For Ifa Religion will forever be grateful to you sir. I enjoin all Ifa devotees throughout the world to please remember the Governor of Ekiti State in your daily prayers. Ase!!! In view of this heartwarming development, i enjoin all devotees throughout the world to come and see the seats of Orunmila-In-Council; the misterious water that Orunmila was using to initiate and heal people; the wonder Opon Ifa that Orunmila was using for consultation at Oke Igeti. This Opon Ifa is made of quartz stone. Come and see the Ope Awonyin that Orunmila was using; come and marvel at the Irosun trees that produce iyerosun powder for Orunmila and his Awo. In short, come and see Ifa wonder at Oke Igeti!!! All these become possible through the grace of the Governor and our Royal Fathers, especially the Ewi of Ado.
E JE KI A FI IBA FUN ORUNMILA NITORI O JE ASIWAJU RERE!!!
WORLD IFA CONSULTATION AT THE FOOT OF OKE IGETI, ADO EKITI ON OJO ABA META, SATURDAY, MAY 27, 2023.
Elders in 17 countries were present for the World Annual Ifa Consultation in Oke Igeti. Eleven countries physically gave messages on Oke Igeti while eight other countries sent their messages via internet and other social media.
The Odu that was revealed during consultation is Ogunda'See, Ogunda Ose. Ifa came with the IRE of cool prosperity for all devotees in the next 12 months and beyond.
For this reason, all Ifa and Orisa Temples need to feed Ifa with one white pigeon each. Each temple also needs to feed each Orisa in the Temple with one eku emo, brown rat. If there are 20 Orisa in a particular Temple, there is the need to procure 20 eku emo and give one to each Orisa in that Temple.
Each member also need to procure six catfish, three to feed Ori and three to feed Ifa.
For those who are born by this Odu during Ikosedaye or Itenifa, there is the need to feed Ifa with one eku emo, apart from the materials mentioned above.
MAIN MESSAGES OF OGUNDA OSE FOR THE YEAR 2023/2024

1. Ifa says that all Temples around the world will be blessed with success and prosperity. Ifa says that all Temples shall also be blessed with free gifts that will change our lives for good.

Ifa advises each Temple to offer ebo with 4 hens, 16 pigeons and money. There is also the need to feed Ewiri, the blacksmith's anvil as recommended by Ifa. On this Ifa says:
Ogunda'see ni o m'ese oyun A o m'ese osika l'ona Dia fun Ewiri Ti yoo maa f'enu re fa ifa wo'le Ebo ni won ni ko waa se O gb'ebo, o ru'bo Ko pe, ko jinna E waa ba'ni ni jebutu ire
Translation Ogunda'see does not know the footprint of a pregnant woman We cannot identify the footprint of a wicked person on the road Ifa's message for Ewiri, the Anvil Who will use his mouth to attract free gifts to his home He was advised to offer ebo He complies Before long, and not too far Join us in the midst of all ire of life

1. Ifa says that apart from feeding Ewiri, the Anvil, there is equally the need for all Temples to procure sekere made with cowries. This sekere is to be played regularly in all Temples. Doing so will attract wealth and prosperity into our Temples and all members will benefit from the grace of the Divinities. On this, Ifa says:

Ogunda Sense Babalawo Sekere to dia fun Sekere Ti n s'awo re'lu il'Aje Ebo ni won ni ko waa se O gb'ebo, o ru'bo Nje Sekere ma rin, maa yan Ara a re l'okun Ara a re l'Aje gbe n so
Translation Ogunda Sense, Ifa cast for Sekere, When going to the land of prosperity, She was advised to offer ebo She complied Sekere walk and match majestically, Your body is filled qith Okun beads, Your body germinates wealth and prosperity

1. Ifa says that even though success and prosperity are guaranteed for members of all Temples this year, Ifa however warns all men never to maltreat their spouses for any reason whatsoever. Ifa also advises all women never to provoke their spouses. Ifa says that women in the Temples will be protected and blessed by Orunmila this year. What all women need to do is to support, assist encourage and bless their men to succeed.

Ifa advises each Temple to offer ebo with 4 rats, 4 fish, 4 pigeons, 4 hens, 4 guinea fowls, 4 roosters and money in the multiples of four. There is also the need for each Temple to feed Ifa with a mature she goat. On this, Ifa says;
Ewekewe inu igbe okan soso ni n so Dia fun Ifajinrin Ti n s'omo bibi inu Agbonniregun Ebo ni won ni ko waa se O gb'ebo, o ru'bo E ma na 'Fajinrin aya Awo E ma na 'Fajinrin aya Awo Eeyan to ba na 'Fajinrin Yoo ri'ja Ifa E ma na 'Fajinrin aya Awo
Translation All mysterious leaves in the forest germinate only one, Ifa's message for Ifajinrin, The child of Agbonniregun, She was advised to offer ebo, She complied , Do not maltreat 'Fajinrin, the wife of Awo, Do not beat 'Fajinrin, the wife pf Awo , The person who maltreats 'Fajinrin, With face the wrath of Ifa, Do not maltreat 'Fajinrin, the wife of Awo

1. Ifa assures all devotees that they will be protected against all forms of violent or untimely death. Iga says that no matter how dire the situation may be, they will be protected and spared. Ifa advises all Temple members to make Orunmila their sanctuary. Each Temple is advised to offer ebo with one mature he goat, lead and money and feed Ifa with one mature she goat.

Orunmila wi o m'oju jo emere Emi naa wi, mo lo m'oju jo emere Orunmila ni omo Ogun to m'oju jo emere To dabi wipe yoo kuu Orunmila ni ko nii ku Orunmila wi o lo m'oju jo emere Emi naa wi, mo lo m'oju jo emere Orunmila ni omo Ija to m'oju jo emere To dabi wipe yoo kuu Orunmila ni ko nii ku Orunmila wi o lo m'oju jo emere Emi naa wi, mo lo m'oju jo emere Orunmila ni omo Osoosi to m'oju jo emere To dabi wipe yoo kuu Orunmila ni ko nii ku Orunmila wii, o lo m'oju jo emere Emi naa wi, mo lo m'oju jo emere Orunmila ni omo oun to m'oju jo emere To dabi wipe yoo kuu Orunmila ni ko nii ku Orunmila ni bo ba se bi ise omo toun ba ni Oje kii ku l'emere Sunmunu, omo oje a d'agba
Translation Orunmila declares that he looks like someone destined to die young, I chorus that he looks like someone destined to die young, Orunmila says that the child of Ogun who, appears like someone destined to die young, Orunmila says that he will not die young, Orunmila declares that he looks like someone destined to die young, I chorus that he looks like someone destined to die young, Orunmila says that the child of Ija who appears like someone destined to die young, Orunmila says that he will not die young, Orunmila declares that he looks like someone destined to die young, I chorus that he looks like someone destined to die young, Orunmils says that the child of Osoosi who appears like someone destined to die young, Orunmila says that he will not die young, Orunmila declares that he looks like someone destined to die young, I chorus that he looks like someone destined to die young Orunmila says that the child of Agbonniregun who appears like someone destined to die young, Orunmila says that he will not die young, Orunmila declares that the lead does not die young, The child of oje, lead is boung to enjoy long life

1. Ifa says that Temple members looking for the blessing of the fruit of the womb shall be blessed according to their hearts desire. Ifa advises those looking for the fruit of the womb to offer ebo with 4 rats, 4 fish, 2 hens one she goat and money. Out of these ebo materials, 2 rats, 2 fish and one hen will be used to feed Ifa. On this, Ifa says:

Orunmila wi o da'see Mi o da'see Bara a mi Agbonniregun Orunmila wi eyi to da'see si'kun omo eku Oyun lo maa fi ni Omo lo maa fi bi Orunmila wi o da'see Mi o da'see Bara a mi Agbonniregun Orunmila ni eyi to da'see si'kun omo eja Oyun lo maa fi ni Omo lo maa fi bi Orunmila wi o da'see Mi o da'see Baraa mi Agbonniregun Orunmila wi eyi to da'see si'kun omo eye Oyun lo maa fi ni Omo lo maa fi bi Orunmila wi o da'see Mi o da'see Bara a mi Agbonniregun Orunmila wi eyi to da'see si'kun omo eran Oyun lo maa fi ni Omo lo maa fi bi Orunmila wi o lo da'see Mi o da'see Bara a mi Agbonniregun Orunmila wi eyi to da'see si'kun Apetebi aya Akapo toun Oyun lo maa fi ni Omo lo maa fi bi
Translation Orunmila declares the menstral fluid is no longer flowing, I chorus that it in no longer flowing, Agbonniregun my father, Orunmila says that the fluid that ceases to flow in the womb of the rat, It will lead to pregnancy, The outcome will be babies, Orunmila declares that the menstrual fluid is no longer flowing, I chorus that it is no longer flowing Agbonniregun my father, Orunmila says that the menstrual fluid that, ceases to flow in the womb of the fish , It will become pregnancy, The outcome will be babies, Orunmila declares that the menstrual fluid is no longer flowing , I chorus that it is no longer flowing Agbonniregun my father, Orunmila says that the menstrual fluid that, ceases to flow in the womb of the bird, It will become pregnancy, The outcome will be babies, Orunmila declares that the menstrual fluid os no longer flowing, I chorus that it is no longer flowing Agbonniregun my father, Orunmila says that the menstrual fluid that ceases to flow, It will become pregnancy , The outcome will be babies , Orunmila declares that the menstrual fluid is no longer flowing , I chorus that it is no longer flowing Agbonniregun my father , Orunmila says that the menstrual fluid that, ceases to flow in the womb of the beast, It will become pregnancy , The outcome will be babies , Orunmila declares that the menstrual fluid is no longer flowing , I chorus that it is no longer flowing Agbonniregun my father , Orunmila says that the menstrual fluid that ceases to flow in the womb of Apetebi the wife of my Akapo It will become pregnancy The outcome will be babies

1. Ifa assures all devotees that they will be protected against untimely death, especially the type that affects multitudes. Ifa warns that all devotees needs to avoid the consumption of mushrooms of any kind in the next 12 months.

Ifa advises each Temple to offer ebo with one mature he goat and plenty of different mushrooms. On this, Ifa says:
Gagamaniwa Dia fun orunlojo esun A bu fun Etipatiro Won ni ki won ru'bo Ki won ma baa ku iku ajoku Etipatiro nikan lo nbe leyin to n s'ebo Nje gbo esun lo n ku Etipatiro nikan ni kii ba won ku iku ajoku
Translation Gagamaniwa, He cast ifa for 165 different mushrooms , And also for Etipatiro, They were advised to offer ebo, For them not to experience death in multitudes , Only Etipatiro complied and offered ebo, All myshrooms die, Only Etipatiro was spared ,

1. Ifa says that Ifa and Orisa Temples and their devotees will be blessed with success, good luck, prosperity and longevity.

Ifa advises each Temple to offer ebo with one he goat, one she goat and money. There is also the beed to feed Ogun with one rooster, roasted corn, roasted yams and palm oil. On this, Ifa says:
Ewu l'ori arugbo Kasan l'orun aj'ewa Akutapa okete Dia fun Olori-Ire Tii s'omo Ogunda Ose Ebo ni won ni ko waa se O gb'ebo, o ru'bo Gunnugun kii ku l'ewe Kangere, ma d'agba ma d'arugbo, kangere Akalamagbo won kii ku l'ewe Kangere, ma d'agba ma d'arugbo, kangere
Translation Grey hair fills the head of an aged person, Veins appear round the neck of beans consumer, When big rat dies, its limbs are stretched before it is smoked , Ifa's messages for Olori-Ire, the Lucky One, The offspring of Ogunda Ose , He wasadvised to offer ebo, He complied, The vulture never dies young, I will live to my old age, And Akalamagbo vulture never dies young, I will live to my old age,

1. Ifa says that Ifa and Orisa devotees throughout the world will be blessed with all ire of life. Ifa however warns that we need to be contented with the blessings that Olodumare has given to us. We must not be greedy; we must not cheat; we must not tell lies and we must not be diabolic in all our undertakings in life

Ifa advises each Temple to offer ebo with one he goat, one she goat, four pigeons and money. There us also the need to feed Ifa with one she goat.
Apaadi to d'oju de ogiri T'ogiri nii se Dia fun Orunmila Baba n sunkun oun o ri're pe Ebo ni won ni ko waa se O gb'ebo, o ru'bo Nje ti'nu-t'eyin mi re e o Labalaba kii s'ede Ti'nu-t'eyin mi re e o
Translation Any potshwrd that faces the wall, Belongs to the wall, Ifa's message for Orunmila , When lamenting and complaining his inability to have all ire of life, He wasadvised to offer ebo, He complied, I harbor no secret anywhere, The butterfly harbors no diabolical plan, This is me in and out

1. Ifa warns all devotees not to be foing out in the dead of the night. All Temple leaders and administrators need to warn all their members to desist drom going out in the night. It is to protect members from danger.

Ifa advises each Temple to offer ebo with one he goat three guinea fowls and money. On this, Ifa says:
Alapandede nii ko si'le ana a re koro Oko eni nii wo'le to'ni Dia fun Oru Ti n loo gbe Olowo n'iyawo Ebo ni won ni ko waa se O ko'ti ogbonyin s'ebo Nje Oru o ma m'Olowo Ifa k'eni ma rin l'oru
Translation The bat flies into its mother's nest quietly, One's husband is he who has the right to enter one's room, Ifa's message for Oru, the Dead of the Night, When going to marry Olowo as wife, He was advised to offer ebo , He failed to comply, The dead of the night has no respect for any honorable person, Ifa warns all not to go out at night

1. Ifa advises all devotees to take very good care of their hygiene. They need to eat healthy meals. This will help chase ailments away from all members. There is the need for Temple leaders to lay emphasis on personal and enviromental hygiene to members of their congregations.

Ebo materials here are one he goat, three guinea fowls and money. Special akose can also be prepared for members suffering from any ailment
Ogunda-see o m'ese oyun Aba o m'ese onde Oosa gbagbe, ko la'se e pepeye A ti nba won rin A o mo'nu u won A o m'eke A n b'eke l'owo Dia fun Olofin Won ni ko ru'bo Ki arun-un kange-kange o ma baa se e O gb'ebo, o ru'bo Ipepe la mu sin'ra Agbon la fi gb'arun danu
Translation Ogunda Ose cannot detected the footprint of a pregnant woman, The chain cannot detect the legs of its captive, Orisa forgot to separate the toes of a duck, We are miving with them, We do not know their mind, We do not know the liar, We are shaking hands with cheats, Ifa's messages for Olofin, When he wasadvised to offer ebo, In order to avoid being inflicted with ailments He complied, We have used strong barks to strengthen our body , And used basket to chase ailments away

1. Ifa says that there is the need for all Temples to offer ebo for the protection of the young ones in the Temples against untimely death and calamity.

Ebo materials here are one completely black she goat, one completely black female sheep and one completely black hen. These materials will be used to feed Iroko tree. On this, Ifa says:
Okun ya di'na O mi lengbe sihin-in O mi lengbe sohun-un Dia fun Iya Irenre-Molode To yoo ma f'omo re da'jo Ebo ni won ni ko waa se O gb'ebo, o ru'bo Ewure dudu mo mu bo Iroko Ki'ku o ma pa Irenre-Molode omo o mi o Aguntan dudu mo mu bo Iroko Ki'ku o ma pa Irenre-Molode omo o mi o Adie okoko dudu momu bo Iroko Ki'ku o ma pa Irenre-Molode omo o mi o
Translation The sea overflows its bank, It flows to this side, And flows majestically to the other side, Ifa's message for the mother of Irenre-Molode, Who had been losing herchildren to death, She was advised to offer ebo, She complied, A black she goat i have procured to feed Iroko May death not snatch away Irenre-Molode my child A black ewe i have brought to feed Iroko May death not take away Irenre-Molode my baby I have brought a black hen to propitiate Iroko May death spare the life of Irenre-Molode my child

1. Ifa warns all devotees not to inflict pain on those who had once helped them in one way or the other. Members must never pay good deeds with evil. Not heeding this warning may lead to serious repercaution for the culprit

Ebo materials here are three he goats and money. On this, Ifa says:
Oka lo m'ori jo ade Okuuku lo fi fifa jo ere Dia fun Ogun Ti a bi l'ode Ire Ti won o ja a lo wo ni'luu Ibese Ebo ni won ni ko waa se Oore qaa d'ese n'Ibese Oore d'ese Eyin ara Ibese E ma ma s'oore mo o Oore d'ese n'Ibese o
Translation The head of a cobra resembles a crown, The cloth weaver's box drags like a python, Ifa's message for Ogun, Who was born at Ire town, And was trained in Ibese land, He wasadvised to offer ebo, Good deeds has turned to a sin in Ibese town, Benevolence has become a sin, Inhabitants of Ibese, Dont display benevolence anymore, Good deed has become a sin in Ibese town
AFFILIATED IRUNMOLE AND ORISA OF OGUNDA OSE

1. Ifa
   
2. Ori
   
3. Esu Odara
   
4. Ogun
   
5. Egungun
   
6. Egbe
   
7. Sango
   
8. Osun
   
9. Orisa Oko
   
10. Iroko
    

TABOOS OF OGUNDA OSE

1. Must never kill or eat a snake
   
2. Must never deny responsibility over pregnancy issue
   
3. Must never pay good deeds with evil
   
4. Must never eat mushrooms
   
5. Must never wear black or red dress
   
6. Must never go out at night
   
7. Must never cheat, lie or be diabolical
   
8. Must never snatch another person's spouse or lover
   
9. Must never give false promises
   
10. Must never fail to take care of personal hygiene
    

ABORU ABOYE
Solagbade Popoola, ficssmn President, International Council For Ifa Religion

The Defense Mechanisms Episode, Part I

So, the way that the Defense Mechanism are often presented rather exemplifies one of the things that often annoy me about enneagram literature, which is that you often just get shown a table or list of traits listed under each type without any real definition of what it is, elaboration on how it’s meant, or an explanation of the how and why or how it’s connected to everything else.
Maybe it’s a Ti vs Te thing?
In any case, just having a term thrown at you isn’t really helpful unless your goal is to win an argument by accusing the other person of doing it. Being able to recite what term goes with what number only gets you so far.
I would figure that the goal is to eventually be able to spot those mechanisms operating in yourself for greater self-awareness and whatnot, and for that I’d reckon that one needs a substantial, tangible idea of what’s meant by it so you can begin to connect and map your intellectual understanding of the process to your actual lived experience of your thoughts and emotions.
It’s one thing to read a description of a rose and another to see/smell/hear what goes with the words, and yet another to have the linkage of the two, spot the theoretical symmetries there should be in the petals in the actual flower and know what it means and how it connects to its history and makeup.
IDK, but as they say: If you’re complaining you’re just part of the problems and: If it doesn’t exist yet, you have to create it yourself.
So, you might be familiar with those listings of one defense mechanism per type, and have heard that it goes back to Naranjo – once in a while you could come across an author that has one of the swapped out or a longer, also unelaborated list.
In truth Naranjo didn’t actually assign a 1:1 correspondence but discussed multiple ones for each type (though they are often ultimately related in nature), and of course in the exty years since his day, numerous other authors have had a go at it & had arguments about it & whatnot (Lukovich, Condon etc.) but often its just psychobabble words being thrown around and looks to an outsider like a theological argument of a religion they don’t believe in.
So, uh, let’s start with the basics.
What is a (Psychological) Defense Mechanism?
The basic idea goes back to Freud, who probably came up with it by observation, just from noticing seeming distortions or knots in the thinking of his clients.
In life, we can’t always get what we want, and we are sometimes confronted with facts that we don’t like.
What does a toddler do in such cases? They throw a tantrum.
Why do they throw a tantrum? Because they are experiencing distress. They want the thing and they can’t have it, or, they’re upset about what they’ve been told. They don’t like it. It’s experienced as aversive and dysphoric. Do Not Want.
Why is an adult different?
Because an adult has a more mature ego, a pattern according to which to filter, sort, interpret & deal with their experience, to reconcile both their animal drives and social expectations/ideals with a reality that sometimes won’t give them that and hence triggers distress.
You can’t cry, kick and scream every time you don’t get what you want – it doesn’t help you get it, and it will probably get you scolded.
Having a way to make sense of or cushion the negative experience, to mitigate the distress, is crucial to being able to cope with adversity, mitigate distress, regulate the self and act in some self-directed goal-oriented manner as an emergent independent entity rather than just reacting to whatever stimulus comes along.
This is why defense mechanisms are a part of the ego (means of self-organization) and characteristic of which ‘flavor’ of ego you have: They are a part of the mechanism of how it is maintained, how you don’t mechanically do or accept whatever someone else tells you but have some mechanism for rejecting some suggestions, ideas and criticisms but act as an independent entity with consistent behavior.
So one takeaway here is that using a defense mechanism doesn’t immediately mean you’re in denial about or refusing to face something or “refusing reality” – what is reality even, or ‘right and wrong’? How would you know it when you see it? ‘Self deception’? Based on which “truth”?
Some things are relatively clear like the earth being round but many don’t have a correct answer like which opinion is correct on some complex argument.
Resisting something doesn’t mean that it’s secretly true and you’re just in denial. If I go to you & say ‘youre a fucking idiot’ you are not going to like that regardless of your actual idiocy because it’s a hostile action & humans are wired to dislike this. It’s an attack on your feelings & self-image.
Even if you shrug it off totally, that is because some process happened to dismiss it & protect you from feeling pain.
A small child would be hurt if you’re randomly mean to them; You, an adult, can dismiss it because you have defenses. They are a part of self-control – particularly when you consider that they don’t just ”defend” against outside imput but also unwanted thoughts & feelings from within.
Maybe you want to throw a tantrum and hit me if I say youre an idiot & point & laugh at you, but, punching me might bring consequences you don’t want, or it doesn’t fit your self-image.
So you must diffuse this urge to punch somehow, or else Mommy is gonna punish you for being mean to your siblings.
Another, third function that defense mechanisms can serve (besides defending against unpleasant input and controlling yourself) is to justify yourself to others. If your tell your mom you should get the toy instead of your sibling because you want to she probably won’t accept it. So you need to come up with a reason. Your parents are already using rteasons to tell you why you should do what they tell you to do, so eventually the child copies them, taking in those justifications and beginning to form their own superego.
You might internalize that fairness is important so when your sister had her turn with the toy you will insist that its now your turn, because of fairness.
Again it’s important not to look at this as deliberate trickery or “secret true intentions”, but rather the nuts & bolts of the machinery that produce your very real, very sincere subjective experience.
In the “fairness” example with the toy, the child isn’t deliberately using fairness as a pretext to get the toy, they really believe in fairness.
The black box machine of the ego takes ‘wanting the toy’ and ‘social belief in fairness’ as imputs and produces the subjective experience of believing in / arguing about fairness.
Causes (when you look at a person like a complex machine of biology) are different from intentions. (the personal experience of feelings & wants)
You evolved to crave sweet food because it is full of energy, but you don’t think “Oh, sugary food, gotta get that energy!” you eat it cause its tasty & makes you feel good.
You explicitly aren’t consciously calculating about the energy, or you would stop wanting sweets when you consumed enough calories for the day.
Under the hood in your body there is a regulatory network going on, signals between your brain & liver etc. but that’s a blind process with no conscious will ‘keeping track’.
Thinking of subconscious mechanisms as ‘secret intentions’ is not only incorrect, it lacks validity as, if its by definition a secret intention from yourself, anyone could claim that you ‘secretly want’ anything as long as they could come up with a semi plausible ‘just so story’ for your behavior.
It also leads to a startling lack of empathy or invalidation of ppl’s subjective struggles & suffering of the ‘the wife totally wants to be beaten’ variety.
So it’s better to think of it as consistent patterns of emotions and reactions that have a cause in the “machinery” of your mind. Your conscious experience is what’s on the desktop & the defense mechanisms are like the guts of the computer.
However, while keeping in mind not to see it as an invalidation of your subjective experience, it is of great usefulness to know how the machine works under the hood, however, because what your ego & its defense mechanisms certainly are doing is dismissing or filtering out unwelcome information and possibly suppressing, deprioritizing or distinctly coloring aspects of inner or outer reality -
and this goes doubly if you don’t realize they are operating and don’t even know that you rejected an idea.
It creates “unknown unknowns”, things you don’t know you filtered out. For example someone might argue based on ‘fairness’ but be unaware how their own wants might be influencing them.
Also, the interpretation of the world that your ego is creating may be more or less sustainable, more or less congruent.
For example, if you believe that you are totally fine & okay after the death of a loved one but are constantly confronted with things that remind you of them, which triggers an emotion of grief, you have to expend energy to filter out the grief, trying hard not to think of it is still focussing it & might still ‘reinforce it’ so it doesn’t lead to the desired outcome.
The incongruence you experience between ‘Im ok’ and the experience of grief is going to cause more distress in the long-term than it averts.
Or you might believe you’re always right & never wrong, but then what do you do if stuff explodes in your face or people do not validate that self-image? You can rationalize it away but you have to expend energy to do it, and you won’t really get what you want if that involved the other people liking you.
So I hope that by now it’s clear that it’s a bit nonsensical when you see ppl try and type themselves by saying which defense mechanism they “relate to”, as there is a very good chance they don’t know it’s happening. It’s rather part of what you want to learn from finding your type so you know what to look for.
Some people might know already – if they’re very introspective, previously did work in therapy, had others point it out, learned from bitter experience etc.
This information is observable, how else would the people who came up with it have figured it out?
But as Dunning Krüger is a thing, it’s very dangerous to start out assuming right out the gate that you’re in the more enlightened 20%. You might be, its totally possible, but don’t bet on it.
Find your type by other means and then you’ll see how much of it you were already aware of or not.
After all, even if you are very aware of your inner processes themselves, you could be wrong about what psychobabble word it best maps to.
The Role Of The Primary Defense Mechanisms
Another thing to realize is the difference between any ol’ defense mechanism or psychological process, and the ones that have a special role in maintaining your ego.
We all use lots & lots of them cause our brains are roughly similar. Even for the most unique person it’s a pink fatty jelly thing with lotsa wrinkles, right?
6s aren’t the only ones who project things, that is, explain other’s actions through disowned thoughts & motivations that we have labelled as not-self. Condon talks a lot about how for many types it’s related to the lines of connection. (which are, after all, qualities & parts of the human experience that can be blocked or labelled not-self)
4s aren’t the only ones who introject things – 6s for example tend to have strong mental impressions of powerful figures in their life.
3s aren’t the only ones that identify with things or try to keep congruency with a desirable self-image.
But it has a special role for them.
Take projection.
Most people can be liable to projection when they’re wondering about the intentions or motives of someone they don’t understand. It baffles you, & you want an explanation, and in trying to come up with one you more easily think of explanations that, in some way, seem “natural” to you.
Now what’s so special about 6? They are very concerned with people’s intentions.
It’s one of the main features of their attention pattern: What are they thinking?
You can tell a song was probably written by a 6 (or someone with a strong 6 component) if they’re telling the love interest what they are probably thinking. Or the authority figure or ex they’re mad at.
Are they gonna take advantage of you? Are they going to abandon you? Very salient information if you wish to be prepared for whatever might happen.
So it’s rather easy for projection to sneak in if you’re thinking about other people’s intentions all the time. Tempting, too, since it ‘defends’ you both from the chaos/uncertainty of not knowing what the person can do, and by relieving the distress of self-doubt. (“I’m not aggro, they’re aggro!”)
And hey, sometimes it actually works! They are a human just like you, so they might well have inner mechanics similar to yours! But not always.
So it makes a difference is you know what you’re doing. Without self-awareness you might take that perception as fact: This is definitely totally 100% their motivation. They can’t fool you!
Or you might be aware that it’s a perception: “This might be their motivation, or maybe I am thinking it for a reason that comes from me. Let’s look closer & see which one it is.”
The “Obvious Temptation”
In the literature you often see the types explained in 2 ways, one beginning from the weakness or deficiency – that you start with your fear & then compensate with your desire to make up for it, framing all as being just illusory cope for our wretchedness etc. whereas others (incidentally, often frustration types) start from the inspiring vision of the ‘essential aspect’ and so on & how you lose you way chasing after that ideal.
But in the end it’s sort of a chicken & egg situation because whether you start from coping for weakness or the corruption of a strength, there is going to be a self-sustaining loop.
Because, if you ever find yourself strapped for copium you are likely going to end up going for a method that is easy for you to do, leaning on what strengths you have (not a strength as in anything exceptional, but just the best one you have)
Conversely, if you start relying on a skill for psychological “survival” that’s one heck of a motivation to practice.
So did our baby 7 get good at seeing silver linings or talking their way out of tricky situations as a way to soften the blow on harsh situations, or are they more tempted to explain away their problems because they are so good at seeing multiple options or talking their way out of difficult situations?
Is there even a hard objective distinction between a genuine silver lining and a fake one?
There are probably similar emotions involved, its the same basic mechanism – it’s all the same strategy that sometimes works & sometimes doesn’t, uncomfortable as it may be that ppl we find admirable and ppl that we really really disapprove of may actually be functioning on fairly similar basic premises.
This isn’t to say that the existence of a grey zone is an excuse not to be honest with oneself when you know in your heart the primary motivation behind what you’re currently doing is to make the ouch go away, but rather to illustrate that it isn’t always obvious.
It’s not so simple as to say “ah, those 2s don’t actually care about helping ppl it’s all just an evil trick”, “Those 1s don’t actually care about justice its all hypocrisy” or indeed “those 5s don’t actually care about understanding the world its just for cope”. In a way, it would be easier if that was that case cause then it’s all black & white.
I don’t think it’s all just cope, if only because doing those things actually does simply feel intrinsically satisfying.
The types are also programs of ‘this feels rewarding, this makes me feel good about myself, this other thing makes me feel not so good’ which also comes down to survival reasons at the causal level but as we said before, causes and subjective intentions are different.
I would still want all the nerd facts even if I had zero problems or insecurities whatsoever to “defend from”, if not for any noble high-minded talk of values then simply because reading & theorizing is fun and other things aren’t.
But the temptation is naturally there, that, if I’m going to be preoccupied with or analyzing stuff anyways, that it might serve as a nifty convenient excuse to be conveniently preoccupied, focussed on something else or have a “buffer” of mental distancing going on when I feel like avoiding a challenging situation.
I’m not tempted to use the flavor of cope that a 2 or 9 might not because I’m too good & pure & wholesome for it but simply cause I lack the necessary skills and/or temperament to get away with it. Anticipate what they need & what their feelings are? How? Just don’t think about it too much and ejoy this ice cream? Easier said than done. Look on the bright side? Ah, but every silver lining is but evidence of a dark cloud.
And analogous for the other types.
Confused Intuitions
Which brings us to another great reason why learning to spot your defense mechanisms at work is really useful. It’s a way to “clean your lens”.
Remember when they thought there were canals on Mars because the astronomer had actually seen the shadows of the blood vessels in his own eyeball?
That’s what happens if you can’t separate what comes from you & what comes from someone else.
Note that the issue is not that the blood vessels exist, but that the guy thought that they are on Mars.
Seeing the blood vessels could have been a worthwhile observation in & of itself – they are not simply in the way, they are info about the human eye.
The human eye isn’t “bad” but if we don’t account for it being there, we won’t get an accurate picture of Mars.
In the end there is no way to completely do away with subjectivity because any perception involves interpreting and labelling. But if you look around you there are obviously people who are more discerning than others and being in that category sure sounds like the preferable, more dignified option.
Your go-to defense mechanisms are potentially interfering with your greatest strength, the most practiced parts of your discerment that you tend to trust. So they lead you to be wrong in an area that matters to you & get in the way of you using your intuition/strength to its greatest effect because there’s all this icky bias gunk on your “lens”.
Or well, it presently acts as icky bias gunk but it could instead be valuable insight about yourself, important information that could help you make well-informed decisions that feel congruent and make you happy.
For example, say you’re a 2. You’re pretty confident in & proud of your ability to know others’ feelings & what will make them happy. It’s important to you. But what if some repressed desire or fear of yours is interfering with what, and rather than really seeing ‘whats best for them’ you’re seeing what you want to be best for them so that they will need you.
If you act like it’s the person’s real need, the worst case is that they could end up thinking you’re a self-absorbed narc who doesn’t care about their feelings. Not what you want at all, right? Whereas if you learn to realize when it’s your own repressed desire at work you not only get a better understanding of other’s feelings that isn’t clouded by bias, you also learn what your desire is. You can now do something with that information. There is probably a better way to grant the desire than to tell them what you want their feelings to be.
Of course, the elephant in the room, and the reason why people don’t just do it if it’s so great, is that the reason you yeeted that desire out of consciousness to begin with is that it once provoked distress and/or felt incongruent with your conscious self.
In the above example with the 2, the person might be afraid that it’s ‘bad’ or ‘selfish’, or that it will expose them to being powerless (cause the request to have the desire granted might be denied)
There was some pain, threat or incongruence involved that now hangs as an ‘or else’ over the prospect of admitting that fact into consciousness.
You might be afraid that, if you admit the feeling or desire, it will mean something about yourself, or that it means you’ll have to act on it and do something that is contrary to what you consciously want or aspire to (maybe that one fear’s a competency triad thing?)
But actually that’s not true! Acknowledging it doesn’t mean you have to change how you think about it, that you have to act based on it, or that you’re “bad”, it’s just a feeling.
You can acknowledge it & be aware of it without doing something.
You might decide to do something in the light of all the information (for example, maybe you can think of a way to grant a desire without compromising your values?), but before you eve consider that, let it sink in that no one’s gonna make you.
Indeed, just acknowledging the feeling, letting it be heard, may lead it to resolve & dissipate.
Although, if this leads you to realize that there is something that’s repeatedly touching you off and causing the distressing emotion to reappear, you might want to feature that in into calculations as to which courses of actions
Even if you choose that your feelings don’t matter on this account you’ll at least make an informed decision & not be blindsided by it. And maybe there’s some comfort/outlet you can find.
It’s against my principles to ring the bell for humiliation o’clock without going first, so I’ll confess that there’s times that I probed & introspected & felt into something & like Did Techniques (thanks to the person who recommended that Gedlin Focussing thing), and the result I got is that… [tw: barf cringe blegh] sometimes… somewhere… there’s a teeny tiny part of me… that kinda sorta wants to cry and whine and get held & comforted and have somebody come in and sweep aaall those pressing, overwhelming problems away & take care of it for me.
Consciously I don’t want this – at all.
It’s not in the least compatible with my values, will & life-plans.
If ppl ask me if they can help with it I tell them no.
I would vehemently reject it, protest against it, even fear it.
Even fear it to an irrational degree. Which is silly & distressing on its own, but it’s a silly distress that I apparently allow into consciousness no problem because it’s not a threat.
Because it’s quite congruent with my belief/understanding that the problem in question isn’t something anyone can help me with. It’s up to me and I’ve arranged it so that it’s up to me because I’d rather it’s up to me than any of the alternatives.
But ‘snot like my inner mammal gets that. It doesn’t understand the logical reasons – of course not, its like a tiny mammal. Might as well imagine one of those tiny Lemurs with big googly eyes 🥺
It’s pre-verbal. That’s probably the no-bullshit way to say it. Monke no speak English.
Also, is the sky gonna fall if I go hug a plushie, or a family member? Or if I maybe casually mention this to a living soul?
Nope.
I have this option available, right? That’s something to be grateful for, not everyone has those.
It is gonna solve the problem? The one that I’ve intellectually ruled unsolvable? No.
But it might just solve the feeling, cause my inner mammal is really quite dumb & doesn’t understand the intellectual complexities of the problem anyway… It just feels houded, right? But you know what it does understand?
Hugs.
Also, none of yall know where I live so its not like you can come after me. xDDD
Sooo… in the interest of self-awareness and self-transparency, it might be worth asking yourself...
​

1. Is this really the best way to do this, or is it a justification for doing it your way?
2. Is that the other person’s feeling, or is it your desire?
3. Is this what you really feel, or what you think a smart/sucessful/dominant/[insert desirable trait] person would feel in your place?
4. Is that a deep insight about your life, or does what just happened actually having nothing to do with you personally?
5. Do you really not want or care about this thing, or are you scared of what might happen if you did? Is it really settled what is going to happen, or are you avoiding action?
6. Is that really the other person’s intention, or is it your fear of what their intention could be?
7. Is that a real solution, or are you explaining the problem away?
8. Does it really not hurt, or are you blocking out the pain?
9. Are you really fine & content with things as they are, or are you giving up?

Sometimes the answer will, in fact, be the first half!
Don’t fall for masochistic ontology. The truth may hurt but not everything that would hurt if it were true is the truth.
Constantly assuming the worst of yourself isn’t gonna help either. Indeed that’s probably some kinda misfiring defense itself, punish yourself first before others have the chance to keep a sense of control, maybe?
Rather, when you catch yourself doing the thing, use your defense powers for good & frame it in a way you can live with. Like you might see it as feedback or information, as a sign to know to improve yourself, as an invitation to apply self-compassion.
Maybe it helps to think of it as an ‘inner child’ or ‘inner animal’ or some such concept.
Would you be mad at a child or a pet for wanting something silly, or avoiding something painful?
No, you’d direct them towards a healthier outlet wouldn’t you?
Or at least, if it’s really not feasible, you’d comfort them about it.
So yeah.
(So the ‘preliminal explanations’ turned into an essay. But, I did promise “what the individual mechanisms actually mean”, “how to actually spot them” and “putting together the Best Of from the authors”, and that I plan to deliver in Part II without any further ramblings. But first I have to ‘recharge my imagination battery’, as a wise sponge once put it, that is, get some sleep.)

I’ve been having flare ups of what I suspected was a UTI, went to urgent care each time with high white blood cell count but urinalysis shows no bacteria. After research I think IC may be a strong possibility. Is a urologist the best doctor to diagnose? I’ve tried gynecological exams and been tested for std and pelvic ultrasound, etc but all show nothing. I’m so frustrated with this pain I want it to go away. Sex is painful and makes me feel worse it’s not even worth it. Thanks In advance

I'm pregnant but I'm not excited about the hospital. The hospital in my town is always incompetent. I've been to their er for antibiotics cause urgent care and my doctors office was closed. They would do test that proved i was sick but if i have blood pressure they ignored it completely and I'd get attitude from the nurses and doctors and still be sent home with them only helping with the high blood pressure. Another time i was admitted which i was there for chest pain... They put in an iv that constantly hurt. It was the most amount of pain I've EVER been in and I've had 2 kids. i was balling and they just ignored my pain. I couldn't stop crying and waiting 4 hours before i ended up discharging myself. They wouldn't listen to me acted like it was all in my head. i even asked for something for the pain and was straight up told no. So needless to say I'm not happy about having to go to this hospital. An the moment we have a car i will be transferring hospitals but I'm at least excited about being pregnant! just wanted to rant about my hospital

I'm pregnant but I'm not excited about the hospital. The hospital in my town is always incompetent. I've been to their er for antibiotics cause urgent care and my doctors office was closed. They would do test that proved i was sick but if i have blood pressure they ignored it completely and I'd get attitude from the nurses and doctors and still be sent home with them only helping with the high blood pressure. Another time i was admitted which i was there for chest pain... They put in an iv that constantly hurt. It was the most amount of pain I've EVER been in and I've had 2 kids. i was balling and they just ignored my pain. I couldn't stop crying and waiting 4 hours before i ended up discharging myself. They wouldn't listen to me acted like it was all in my head. i even asked for something for the pain and was straight up told no. So needless to say I'm not happy about having to go to this hospital. An the moment we have a car i will be transferring hospitals but I'm at least excited about being pregnant! just wanted to rant about my hospital

Am I being mentally abused or am I the problem??
Im asking this question because I don’t know what to believe anymore.
My older sister seems to always want to pick a fight with me.
For example, I’m watching TV and I have my laptop while eating breakfast by myself. She comes home with hot food and doesn’t ever ask me if I’m hungry. I always ask her if she wants anything when I’m out and most of the time she says yes.
Anyway, she comes in and says “Do you know I pay for the electricity”
and I said, “What’s the problem?” My laptop is running on battery so the only thing on is the tv. Then she says, “Well pick one unless you want to pay for electricity.”
I pay for the internet which is three times more than electricity. But I don’t bring it up or cap her data usage. I learned from the past that it’s better to just stay quiet because it’s not worth fighting. So I turned off the TV.
She goes to the kitchen took look for anything she can blame me for. She opens the microwave, and asks, “Have you seen the microwave?” I said, “What’s wrong with it?” She said, “It's dirty ass hell.” I replied, “Well if I saw it was dirty I woulda cleaned it.”
Then she replies, “No you wouldn’t you don’t do shit. You wait for me to do everything. When do you mop the floor?” What she doesn’t know is I do all of these things but I just don’t report it or tell anyone because I’m an adult. I’m 31 years old. It’s’ probably 11 AM I don’t want to start my day like this.
She never has anything nice to say. Yesterday, she got mad that I parked my car in the garage. She said, “Why did you park in the garage?” I usually park on the street but I just got back from the doctor and I could barely walk. My foot was swollen doctor said to lie down as soon as I get home and keep my feet elevated.
So she comes downstairs (knowing I just got back from the doctor, I asked her if she can take me and she said I can't take care of you. All I wanted was a ride. had it been the other way around I wouldn't let her drive herself to the hospital, I would take her and stay with her.
So she tells me, ugh you're useless I always have to do everything!
Which is not true.. she actually has beef with my cousin right now because my cousin told her the same thing. She said.. “we moved grandpa here to my house because you guys don't do anything to help him. Only we do when we visit”
So she and my cousin are not speaking because of the same reason that she’s mad at me. Supposably, I don't do anything. I do so much for her especially before I was diagnosed with a disability. It was only when I stopped working she started being more violent toward me.
We use to have a joke in the family that we were born in the wrong order because I use to pay for all her cell phones, cell phone bills, and food, and when she was on the run cause my mom kicked her out when we were teenagers I was the one helping her survive by giving her and her bf money which I know they used for drugs maybe. She's not an addict but her ex-bf is an addict.
So I’m at the dinner table and I decide I don't want to have this conversation because it's not worth the fight. My home is a lot better when we are getting along. Then she chases me and tells me to put my food away and I said I will but I don't want to be near you right now. You’re being violent.
Then she follows me up the stairs and tells me that I’m going to end up a lonely man and no girl is ever going to want to be with me because I'm such a pig. Her boyfriend comes in the house and tells me to just go in my room then she proceeds to take the dishes that I left on the table and placed them in front of my door.
I'm not asking for sympathy. I'm asking for evidence or some kind of idea about what I’m doing. Am I really the problem? Why does she hate me so much? I told her once that I loved her and whatever it is that changed the way she looked at me, I told her I apologize. I said Im sorry I wasn't a better brother.
I’m not asking for who is right or wrong. I don’t think that matters. But I feel like I’m being mentally abused, gaslighted, or maybe Im being too sensitive. She literally will find anything she can around the house just to bitch as me about. I think she gets happy when she finds out I fucked up somewhere in the house and she just loves to point it out.
I remember when I bought her an iPhone X when it first came out and she destroyed the phone within hours of having it because we unfortunately had to change her number. She said its all my fault and she threw the iPhone to the wall and shattered it. I felt bad because I didn't know we were getting new numbers. I apologized.
I called Sprint and figured out a way to get her old number back. It took a few days but I was able to. and I had to buy a new iPhone X because she destroyed the first one. When I told her her phone came in the mail and her number was restored. She pulls out an iPhone X and says she got her own now. I was furious but I just said whatever as long as we’re getting along that's what my mom would want. mom passed away years ago.. she never apologized. She didn't even give me her new number for maybe two years.
I guess what am i asking is…
what can I do to be a better brother?

Hello, I am trying to find someone that might be interested in a 2010 chevy tahoe as a project truck, or that wants the solid 5.3 that's in it or the new transmission I just put in it about a year ago. I know I would have trouble selling it to a dealership and I don't feel right selling it to someone who doesn't know how to work on cars cause it would need some work. It has a salvaged title, that I bought it with, like an idiot. It ran amazing for the first couple years I had it, then I started having a fuel delivery issue and I have been chasing that ever since. It still starts and runs good, but it has gotten to the point that it takes a couple trys to get it to turn over. I've replaced the ruel pump and the module, I've taken it to the dealership and they said to replace those two things. That was after I had done all the work. I live in Utah and it ran perfectly all throughout the winter and only started acting up again once spring hit. I'm hoping someone in here might be nearby and want it, I just want to be able to pay it off and be done with it. Again I live in Utah, about 45 mins from salt lake. Please let me know if there is any interest out there, or any good suggestions, I just need some help! I can take pictures if there is interest. Thanks everyone!

I can’t hear the way that I used to. About a month ago I caught this really bad cold to the point where my throat was inflamed and I had to stay home from work. Then I was just really stuffy for the next few days.
But a week after that “cold” My right ear started to get really full. This usually happens every once in a while in both ears this ever since a few years ago but it usually goes away after a few hours to days.
…but this time it hasn’t…
This time it’s stayed in my right ear for days. And then I got an ear infection in my right ear along with having some weird sinus cold.
I went to urgent care and got antibiotics but stupidly forgot to take them for days and now I regret it. Although I finished the medicine, I feel like I destroyed my ear.
My jaw and face has been inflamed for days and idk how to make it stop. I get tinnitus in both of my ears and to want to make it stop because it’s driving me crazy. My ears constantly feel like they need to be popped but they don’t and im going mad.
I can’t hear my footsteps, I can barely hear things in the background and I can’t even hear myself swallow.
Allergy medicines barely work now because my sinuses are clear but it’s just my ears.
What do I do? What if I go deaf? Music is the only thing that keeps me sane. What if I can’t hear my loved ones anymore? Im panicking.
I feel like im going to lose my hearing and idk what to do about it. I just want to cry.😢

My sweet 18 year old cat started having diarrhea 2 weeks ago. Not regular diarrhea, but like walking from corner to corner in my house bearing down and dropping brown liquid. She is eating noirnally and acting normally otherwise. I took her to vet immediately and she checked out fine (gained weight, no fever, no lumps, looked healthy) other than having developed a heart murmur. We gave her metronidazole and she was better until 3 days after starting meds and same thing happened again. New vet and new script.
My question is, where can you take a cat to get all tests at once, aka heart murmur checked and what is going on in stomach? I don't want to do a cardiologist and our vet as she needs to be sedated to do blood work and further tests and I would prefer it to be all at one time. Are their types of places that do this? Or should I not even bother with a cardiologist. The urgent care vet scared me that it's early heart disease. I don't know the degree. My vet didn't seem concerned, but he's a she's 18 she's going to die soon type of guy.

posted in another sub already so im sorry if this seems like attention seeking, im just in urgent need of some support
so basically i responded to a friend of mine’s instagram story that said the mayor of our town made an account delete a happy pride month post, and i responded with “very fucked up”, “can’t wait to get out of this shit town”, and “probably doesn’t only happen here”. i posted yesterday how i thought i made a homophobic micro aggression in there somehow and was overthinking, but it indeed turned out that i was overthinking. so my friend responded and agreed with what i was saying, to which i replied “yeah it sucks”. then i proceeded to ask “also, how have you been doing lately” and i’m super worried that that was a micro aggression because of the subject change. it makes it look like i don’t care about the issue. i once again don’t know if i’m overthinking or not or if i messed up because i can’t tell anymore. it’s that bad. i just wanna know if you guys think i messed up or not. i have been diagnosed with GAD so i hope i belong here, sorry if this breaks any rules mods

Very sexually active with my boyfriend. Missed my BC pill I think 2/3 weeks ago. I have been feeling so bloated and fatigued and nauseous 24/7 lately. (That has been going on for a little longer than missed BC) As soon as I passed the big blood clot, I have felt better. Detailed symptoms below, is it possible I had a miscarriage????
Tuesday - brown paste like discharge - immediately was alarmed bc I have never seen that before Friday at midnight - UTI symptoms out of no where, it was terrible for 3 straight hours. Peeing blood, sometimes I couldn’t go but then sometimes I went a decent amount (as if my bladder couldn’t empty it all) Got Azo and a little relief , subsided a little bit Saturday- horrible cramping for about 15 mins- never had it that bad Sunday- went to urgent care said numbers were off the chart, glucose in blood dx with UTI given antibiotics. No pregnancy test. Sent urine out for further testing, haven’t received results yet. Sunday pm- period should start , put tampon in , when I took it out it was dark brown almost black. Not the full tampon covered, not even half No bleeding when I didn’t have tampon in, it was not a regular period at all Monday morning bright red watery on pad - 2 teaspoons Went pee- red stringy mucus/clots ALOT and LONG- have never seen anything like it Wiped again and it was bright bright red Cramps Tuesday am- LARGE clot passed. It was dark red/maroon and a big blob. Am-little blood (tiny worm like clots like small tissue ) like during uti Am- ketchup color maybe a little lighter like discharge in underwear not a lot Pm- dark brown maroon discharge in underwear just a little Pm- back to red discharge just a little
Can’t even call this a period it’s spotting

Hey,
I’m a pediatrician few years out of residency. Worked in urgent care for the entirety of my time out of it. Will be transitioning back to Gen Peds for many reasons. Are there some good resources on how Gen Peds things that I need to do?
I know pediatrics medicine as I practice it daily. I’m more worried about the nuances of daily gen Peds.
Any help is greatly appreciated!

So I’ve been at my new job now going on four weeks. It is a new clinic offering an array of services like primary care, weight loss program, IV nutrition therapy, hormone therapy and integrative medicine. The CEO my boss has successful clinics in other e locations and is part time. He has two other physicians one in charge or primary care and another doing the hormone replacement therapy and integrative medicine but they are also part time and more like consultants than clinicians. He has the integrative medicine and IV nutrition therapy experience which he expects me to learn all of these including aesthetics and helping out the plastic surgeons when he starts in a few months. He expects me to have weekly meetings with each doctor and the staff and basically put the foundation for all the programs including the financial side of things. I don’t have e experience in this but I am for the task and willing to learn. Right now my salary is decent for primary care and there is plans in plans to make more money such as 6% salary increase each year for 3 years and 6% of profit. He basically told me I have right to make all decisions without getting permission from anyone basically I’m in charge since I am the only full time provider. Yet he didn’t give me any official title or discuss compensation. I don’t even know if staff has been made aware of my new role which is a bit confusing. I want to meet with them and clarify what my titile should be the job duties and fair compensation since none of this was in my contract and really caught me off guard. Thanks for your responses. I’m a PA with 8 years experience in primary care urgent care and occupational health by the way.

Hello! I am a 25 y/o female, 5'0" 183 lbs. For the past few years I've been having some worsening symptoms and also heart palpitations. The symptoms are as follows:

• Sudden alcohol intolerance
• Weird heart issues (palpitations, racing heart when waking up and also when drinking alcohol)
• Tinnitus
• Chronic fatigue
• Lightheadedness
• Seeing spots
• Brain fog
• Malaise
• Body aches
• Bad temperature regulation despite sweating like crazy

It's getting to the point where I'm waiting for the day I'm out in public and finally pass out onto the ground. :( I spoke with a friend who manages an urgent care clinic, and a doctor there suggested possible PVCs or POTS, as well as getting an ANA panel done. I do have hypothyroidism, but my levels are normal now with synthroid. My A1C and fasting blood sugar are also normal. Although, whenever I get a urinalysis I always have slightly excess amounts of protein and blood. I am also on Zoloft and birth control and have been for 8 years. I have a physical in July, but am wondering if I should schedule a visit sooner. Any thoughts are appreciated.

This is a direct response to the other thread about texting.
I am a young millenial late 20s, but solidly not zoomer. I do not care if someone ignores my text for days, they can take their time to reply. If it's urgent, I'll call. I don't play games or anything with texting as a powerplay, sometimes I respond instantly, sometimes I don't respond for days. This is how all my closest friends are too and I never take it personally if they don't reply right away. Safe to say we all have our own lives and are busy, some in med school, some have jobs, some have kids.
I feel like I am in the twilight zone when I see a bunch of posts talking about how if you don't reply within 1 day you are literally evil and gaslighting and psycho. Is this zoomer minds or am I/my friends outliers?

I've been wanting to ask some opinions on some stuff that happened between me, a girl and some other dude who was also chasing her.
We met in a psychiatric ward where people where residing 24/7 under the same roof.
Me and my crush got along well, while lot of other guys tried hitting on her aswell. Note: she was the only girl.
The third guy would always try and come inbetween if me and my crush were talking, and I noticed him, and alot of other men for that matter, only being kind and respectful to me, when she was around; while turning to gossiping when she wasn't.
So, very fake-friendly and two faced.
I also noticed him mirroring my crush in sole way too specific/personal ways.
At a certain point, during an afternoon meal, sure thing he entered our table.
Me and crush were talking about life matters and suddenly the guy just interupted (out of the blue) and started talking 30 minutes straight:
Started talking about how his job has always been okay, money ain't a problem and how his parents now suddenly want him back after leaving him hanging and how he couldn't fathom the feeling of abandoning his grandmother, the only one who ever cared for him, who is now very, very sick. He had to be there for her.
(Context: he's been a heroin addict since he was 12, and while speaking out those thoughts, he had already planned 4 weeks prior to go to a 2+ years rehab centre and he wasn't gonna change plans.)
During the whole story he portrayed himself as some kind of moral hero, and he made sure the fill every second to hold her attention.
And it sure seemed to move my crush.
And she suddenly liked him alot more...
So, I got kind of jealous and feel resentment towards this guy - not only due to that afternoon, but definitely due his constant back-talk. He always put up the rather dominant and confident demeanour, but I keep asking myself: how confident are you when you feel the need to talk about your money, your job and keep on talking to someone to keep the attention to yourself?
I keep wondering if I'm projecting tol much insecurity, but on the other hand I can't help the feeling this was all out of manipulative intent; and the thought of him having succeeding through such means, actually makes me feel sick...
Now, with all consideration for his 'struggle' and his sick grandma, I can't help but wonder if I am actually blowing this stuff up and projection my own insecurities on him, or was the other guy really off in the way he presented himself that moment?
I can't shake the feeling that he 'needed' to tell her that story to get, since he kinda just turned to subject onto him...
So, please, give me some honest input. I can't help but feel stuck in this jealousy while also telling myself it's disrespectful to dishonor someone else's story that way.
Am I overreacting and being disrespectful?
Am I the needy one?
And how do I get over this?
It's like I'm not the jealous or possesive person, per se, but after experiencing that afternoon and seeing my crush suddenly becoming very, very warm for him, kind of stings, alot.
I'm trying to get some sense of this.

I finally have my period after not having it for a year due to 10 days of taking progesterone. I am truly grateful. Don't get me wrong, I have literally been begging and praying for this, but I have concerns.
When I used to have periods there were blood clots occasionally and I did bleed sorta heavily, but now it's an insane amount. I went to bed with a tampon and two pads on and bled through. Blood clots are 2-3inches long and maybe 2 centimeters thick and come out like two at a time. I often feel very faint and/or nauseous.
I've also never been one to have cramps so I am SO sorry if this is a stupid question but are cramps usually concentrated in one ovary? My left side is killing me & it always has felt bad... When my doc did an internal exam in 2021, it was excruciating and made me cry. I had a transvaginal ultrasound this year and it just showed the PCOS follicles on both ovaries.
Is any of this I need to seek emergency care for? I don't have urgent care near me and all docs are scheduling at LEAST one month out.
I'm hoping this is what I've needed to get my system working properly again so 🤞🏻

Tl;dr
Employer fires me verbally without giving the termination in writing, which is in breach of the Fair Work Act.
Employer mistakenly breaches highly confidential information by finally sending my written notice to my emergency contact instead of me (my mother), which has seriously affected relationship between my mother and I.
Employer then doctors and falsifies the To: field when forwarding me the exact copy of the email he sent to my mother, in order to try and attempt to cover up the fact he breached my confidentiality to her. My mother who is old and unwell now feels I lied to her and is upset and mad at me.
The story….
I have worked for a medium sized company with c. 50 staff for the last 3 months, on a full-time permanent basis. Let’s call them X.
The company is highly profitable and stable, been going for over 25 years. I am a very experienced and successful salesperson, was exceeding targets and already generating the business more profit than it was costing to employ me.
X verbally dismissed me on 18/05 out of the blue without any warning. X did not give me written notice just verbally told me they won’t continue with my employment and sent me home.
After realising X never gave me written notice, which is required by law under the Fair Work Act 2009 (FWA), I phone the MD the same day and ask them for written notice confirming when my last day of employment was and details of my final pay, accrued leave etc. as per FWA. The MD says the written notice will be sent to me the following day but still doesn’t send it.
I contact the MD on 3 more occasions asking for my written notice and only after sending a very stern email on 06/06 highlighting their breach of the FWA and then following up later that day, they finally send me an email giving me notice that my employment ended on 18/05, and informing me that they will make a payment the same day on 06/06 for my salary up until 18/05 (the day they expressed intention to dismiss me and sent me home) plus my weeks’ payment in lieu of notice (PILON) and any unpaid leave I accrued.
Section 117 of the Fair Work Act
According to Section 117 of the FWA an employer cannot terminate an employee’s employment without giving written notice of the day of termination, and cannot provide a termination date which is before the day the notice is given.
Am I right in thinking that them only verbally expressing they wish to terminate my employment on 18/05 is therefore invalid and the earliest possible date their written notice could be is 06/06 (this was the date they issued written notice to terminate my employment, although with a termination date which was prior – which is in contravention of the FWA, so the earliest termination date should be 06/06.
I believe I should be entitled to be paid my salary up until 06/06 plus the weeks’ PILON, instead of salary up to 18/05 plus the weeks’ PILON.
Why do I care/Why bother? Why don’t I just let it go and go and get a new job, why waste my energy?
This is because X SCREWED me over, BIG TIME. I already found a new job right away – but I won’t be able to start there until July because of the Visa arrangement which I have directly with X.
X has sponsored me on a Temporary Skill Shortage (TSS 482) visa. This means that I can only work for X and only them no other employer. I legally cannot work for any other employer until they take over my TSS 482 visa from X, the process takes minimum 1 month due to labour market testing requirements but in fact more like 5-6 weeks is the real length of time I will be out of work.
I now realise since speaking with 3 more companies that almost all decent companies that employ people on such sponsored visas, voluntarily offer 4 weeks’ notice periods to 482 visa holders.
In addition, my termination was literally out of the blue. The company were singing my praises every week, I was exceeding all targets and generating more profit than I was costing already. Their unexpected and abrupt decision has left me in an incredibly difficult position financially.
The MD who is the sole shareholder of X who make around $300k PROFIT (actual net profit after all employees, taxes, expenses, lease, lights etc paid) each month does not give a sh*t and isn’t even willing to give me 4 weeks’ notice ex gratia.
Whilst I accept that firing me for no reason and only giving a weeks' notice is not illegal, I give this context purely to depict how they operate from a moral standpoint, and demonstrate how they have screwed me over and hence why I am now looking to take action against them for their breach of the FWA 2009.
Further issue… HUGE BREACH OF CONFIDENTIALITY
As if it wasn’t already bad enough, X has now caused me even more issues.
The MD of X accidently emailed my written notice detailing my termination of employment, with my final payslip and all my personal details including my salary, my home address, etc. to my emergency contact who was on my HR record, instead of to me. This happened to be my mother who is back in the UK and is currently very old and sick.
This has now caused me serious distress as it has affected my relationship with my mother. My mother constantly worries about me being in a different country and I did not want to cause her any alarm by telling her about my dismissal, so when she recently asked me how my work was going I said it was totally fine. I also had to ask her to borrow some money for rent because of this (I used a different excuse).
Now, she has seen that my employment was terminated 3 weeks ago even though I recently told her work was fine, and she also saw my payslip and wondered why I asked her to lend me money. My mum is old and unwell. I hold X to blame for breaching my confidentiality, revealing to her details that my employment had been terminated, my salary etc.
It gets worse…. Blatantly doctored and falsified email in an amateurish attempt to cover up data breach?
X keeps on digging themselves a bigger hole. I found out that they emailed everything to my mother when I chased the again at the end of 06/06 about getting the written notice and they came back to me and said they sent it to the wrong email.
Instead of holding their hands up and apologising that they sent it to my mother by mistake, the MD of X forwarded the exact email sent at exact time to my mother but doctored the email address to change it to one very similar to my mother’s.
He has even forwarded the copy of the email which corresponds to the exact time my Mum received the email from him, but he has doctored the bit where it says To: janetbloggs20@ to To: jbloggs20@.
This demonstrates that he knows he screwed up by breaching my confidentiality, but is doing his best to cover his tracks rather than holding his hands up and apologising.
Actions to take – Termination Date
Given their clear breach of the FWA 2009 I want to ask them to pay me up until 06/06 plus the week PILON. But if they reject this, can I likely do anything about this? Would I have a case against them seeing as in accordance with FWA 2009 they did not technically terminate my employment until 06/06.
Actions to take – Confidential Data Breach
I want to pursue damages regarding the confidentiality breach, the stress that has been caused and how it has affected the relationship between my Mother and I.
In my eyes its so much worse that X didn’t just admit it and apologise but falsified the email to make it look like it was sent somewhere else, and it made things with my mum worse as once she saw that email (which I had absolutely no idea she had received) she asked me again how work was and I told her its fine.
The fact the MD went out of his way to doctor the forwarded email only made the issues with my mother worse, and also shows he knows he was in the wrong for emailing her, whether intentionally or not, and he has made efforts to try and cover his tracks.
TLDR - My Questions

1. Is their verbal termination of employment on 18/05 invalid as they did not give it in writing?
2. Can I demand them to pay me up until 06/06 when I finally got written notice? i.e. if it went to court would I stand any chance of getting this?
3. What damages could I seek to be compensated for, for the problems their breach of my data has caused me?

To somebody I cared for deeply
How did we start talking one might ask? Well, the usual way younger people meet these days. A random Snapchat interaction through a friend. I was hesitant at first to talk to you even though you sounded lovely. I had been through a bad experience or should I say a few. I was scared that I'd let you close and you'd hurt me. As there was some distance between us we got to know each other the modern talking way. I was hesitant but you reassured me and we talked all the time. Time came for us to meet when you were passing by where I live and that short lived interaction just made me like you even more.
Time came for us to actually meet up. What followed was a few lovely days, which both of us enjoyed. Were you to say anything else I would know you were lying. After that we discussed and you wanted us to be exclusive. I was fine with that and excited for the future, a future I could share with you. For the first time in a while I had opened my self up to someone and I was excited about that. Had I know what would happen in a few days I would have never allowed myself to feel what I felt towards you. I was afraid all along you were playing what I'd call 4d-chess but I decided to trust you. The way you had opened up towards me, sharing your struggles and such I thought we'd truly work.
You had always told me you wanted a relationship, the thing which I was also looking for. Someone to share my daily life with. It all changed in a few days. You suddenly became cold and started ignoring me. I knew what that meant, you had lost interest. Despite you so clearly stating a few days ago you wanted me. I was fine with that, but I decided to ask you where we were. I remember telling you that it would be fine if you had lost interest, I just didn't want to keep wondering. You said you hadn't, but just a few moments later you told me you weren't ready for a relationship. You told me you were scared to commit and the thought of spending the next 50 years with someone was scary.
I told you I understood. I tried to reassure you that I'd never get in the way of what you'd want to do, but I knew. It was over at that point. You said you wanted to be friends, I told you I was waiting for this conversation for a day or so. Then you told me there is nothing you'd like to say to me anymore, I tried to wish you a happy future but you had blocked me everywhere. I was a bit surprised this as I thought we could handle everything as adults, I should have seen the red flags earlier. I spent so much time on you, I wish I could gain that back. You however taught me a lot of things, I should be more picky and not let things advance at a pace we did.
I don't want to be part of your life. I just hope you grow up a bit and stop lying about your intentions. I get chasing a feeling like an addict but I'd like you to not do that with other people's emotions. Anyways it's your life and I wish you the best. I hope that in the future you know to not play with emotions like this.
I still care for you.
Your dear friend.

Hi, I am a mess but doing my best. I am not experienced with chickens outside of my interactions with this one, and I don't have a lot to work with regarding my mental health and money. But the neighbors found a little red hen in the alley not long ago and decided to keep her.
She has no coop and sleeps in the bushes, and wanders the complex's backyard area nibbling grass and bugs during the day. They seem to just feed her table scraps like leftover potatoes and rice, and sometimes tomatoes. I never see them interact with her besides that, they don't even clean up after her. I got some chicken lay pellets from a local feed store and whole wheat and barley kernels from winco and give her some every day to make sure she has decent nutrition.
She seemed to be doing well for a couple weeks, she was laying eggs every other day and following me around while I moved my plant pots around to grab the bugs underneath them. She tries to follow me into my room a lot (I feel bad for shooing her away but I don't want bird poops in here). She has decided she is above my kitten in the pecking order and tries to chase her off when the kitten gets close to her food. She tore up my plants scratching for bugs and taking dust baths, but I can't be mad. She's super cute and now I am sure I really really want a few chickens of my own eventually. I never knew they were so funny and full of personality. I've been reading up a bunch about their care.
Last week I heard her clucking at night and she dropped a bunch of feathers, so I think something attacked her. Maybe a stray cat or raccoon. She didn't seem injured, just ruffled. A few days ago some loose dogs got into the backyard and chased her a bit. They luckily just seemed curious and not aggressive, and they ran off when I yelled at them. She stood with her face in a corner clucking for a few minutes until I gave her some treats. She was super scared. I got a chicken electrolyte water mix to hopefully help her recover from stress.
Last night she was clucking a lot all night, I went out to see what was up several times but I didn't see any animal. She may or may not have slept. Today the gardeners came with the loud lawnmowers. I can imagine she was terrified and hiding until they left. When I went out today she was gaspy and raspy and can't cluck. I read up on chicken symptoms and it seems maybe she has a respiratory infection, or maybe gapeworms. Or maybe she just has a lost voice/sore throat from stress? Can that happen? From what I have read, her poops seem normal. She poops in front of my door a lot so I don't even have to go out of my way to check that. (It's really gross lmao)
It's frustrating knowing there's stuff that can be done for her condition but I can't do anything myself, I have been crying about it. Communication with the neighbors is hard because we speak different languages and I also have intense anxiety and fear of people, and I can barely even communicate well with English speakers because of it. I am not sure they really care given how she is kept? Is this a dumb take? I feel like the situation is urgent enough now to maybe call animal control to come get her, but I am really afraid the neighbors will get pissed at me, and also they might just put the bird down rather than treat her. Or maybe she'll recover with electrolyte water and food and I am just worrying about nothing? I lost pets earlier this year already and it destroyed me, and I know this isn't my bird and I shouldn't feel responsible but seeing her in bad shape is making me feel like it's happening all over again. I can't take it.
I'm scared of posting this, I am afraid I am going to be burned alive for not knowing how to handle this.

Species: dog Age: 11 months Sex/Neuter status: male/neutered Breed: mini Goldendoodle Body weight: 18 lbs.
Your general location: DC metro area History:
In early April, our puppy stayed over at his breeder's house for a few nights while we were away. We provided the same food he's always eaten (Pawtree chicken and brown rice formula), and he had never had any significant GI issues before this. When we picked him up, she mentioned his stool was a little loose but we didn't think much of it.
A few days after coming home, he just didn't seem like himself. His stool was consistently loose and he had vomited a few times. We had our vet take a look at him but she didn't find any cause of the issues and he wasn't dehydrated so she recommended a bland diet for a week or so and then see how he was after that. We did the bland diet (boiled chicken and rice), but his stool never really firmed up. We would try to gradually add back in some of his dry food but that seemed to make it worse.
In late April I found blood along with mucus in his stool and he had vomited a few times recently so I took him into the pet urgent care. They also didn't find anything significant, and they thought it could be an ulcer. They gave him a shot of Cerenia, then gave us Metronidazole, Sucralfate, and Omeprazole to give to him over the next 2 weeks. We did that, along with continuing the bland diet, and saw improvement in the texture for a few days but then it went back to being loose. He wasn't vomiting and I wasn't noticing any more blood.
Since the stool was still loose, I started wondering if he could have a chicken allergy, so we made him lean ground beef and rice instead of boiled chicken and rice, but we didn't see much progress with that either. Our vet recommended we try a salmon based dry food, so we got Purina Pro Plan Sensitive Skin and Stomach formula. Still didn't see any improvement in the texture. A few weeks ago, he started to have diarrhea. It wasn't urgent, but when he went it was pretty much all liquid. I called the vet and told them I wanted them to run a stool test and they did, but the findings were normal. We started to add a probiotic to his food once a day.
Recently he's been pooping once a day in the mornings. We can't keep him on the bland diet forever because he won't get enough nutrients, so last night we added a little of his original dry food (Pawtree chicken/rice formula) to his ground beef/rice, and then did so again this morning for breakfast. He didn't poop last night or this morning, but I just took him on a walk and the poop was formed but mushy. I noticed that there was dark blood in it again. The color of the poop itself was darker than usual as well.
It could be coincidence that he had blood in his stool right after we reintroduced his dry food, or that could be the cause, but he hadn't had chicken in a few weeks before that and the stool was still loose.
What else could it possibly be and what should I be asking the vet? Should I continue to reintroduce the dry food or stick to the ground beef/rice? I'm concerned that he has been having these GI issues consistently for an extended period of time, and the vets haven't found the reason for it yet. Are there other tests that should be done?

F33. Prehypertension, moderately overweight. Recently stopped talking antidepressants and birth control.
(Imgur link at bottom) So on Saturday I fell off a wet curb. I am a good faller, so I controled the fall and mostly just collapsed my legs, brining me to a sitting position on the curb. On my way down, however, I knocked the pretty aggressively tread heal of my shoe into my right calf. I got up fine, walked the half a mile home and had a normal lazy Saturday. I did have some very nice swelling where the shoe hit though (see first image). My right thigh started to hurt, but I figure I must have pulled it on the way down. Sunday rolls around and the bruise begins to set in. A normal large sized bruise for me. Nothing special (see second image). Then yesterday late-mid day I go to sit down and notice that a line has developed down the length of the bruise. I have never had this happen before, and am kinda freaked out by it. I didn't hit it on the curb so it's not from that, and it showed no signs of the line until Monday. Usually if something like this was caused by a punch or the Impact, the line would have been present from the start.
My concern is a blood clot. I just want some input on if this is something I should be worried about and go to urgent care of the ER for, or if I can just ignore it because this is a normal thing that's just never happened to me before.
https://imgur.com/a/6zx84SA
Thanks in advance!