I keep getting error messages and I think it’s because of the length, so I’m going to split it up and put the second half in the comments.
PT 1
Over the past year and a half, I’ve been a part of a pretty strong friend group. People have cycled in and out amicably with no drama. Those of us who have been here since the beginning hate cliques and that kind of mindset, so we have new people joining frequently! This past school year I (F21) roomed with my friend who was also a big part of the group! For privacy reasons, I’ll just call her G (F20). I loved rooming with G! We got along well and shared a lot of the same interests! We're also both art majors and would work on homework and projects together frequently. The 2022 fall semester was incredibly busy, but having such good friends made everything so much better. The issues started this past semester.(Spring ‘23) G’s older sister who we’ll call T (F23) came back to college after taking a semester off so she could graduate with her friends. T wanted to room with G and me, but our dorm is crazy small so we told her no. (Thankfully) As soon as I met T she was talking about how all of her friends were treating her terribly. Most of the time I was around her, she’d be trash-talking just about all of them. I really should’ve seen the red flags here, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and “took her in.” I guess I figured that they must’ve drifted from her since she had been gone for the previous semester. We felt bad, so G and I started inviting her out when our friend group was all together. Other than the gossip, T and I got along pretty well for the first month. We had the same sense of humor and also shared a lot of the same interests lol. G, T, and I would get together in G and I’s dorm every Sunday to watch TLOU, do our nails, and break down the episode. We'd also meet up every weekday before class to get breakfast together. I’m the only one with a car, so I’d also drive us around every once in a while to run errands or just chill at some cafe to do homework. As soon as we took her in, T was in our dorm room all the time. She'd be in our room from the time she got out of classes until she had to go back to her room to sleep. There were even days I’d come back ready to veg out after classes to find her in our room by herself… she’d just be chilling on my roommates' bed. I still don’t even know how she got in lmao. I wasn’t that thrown off since I’ve never minded having company over, and I figured the dynamic must just be different since T and G are sisters. There were a few things after the first couple of weeks that made me realize that I didn't want to get very close to T. She didn't keep her gossip to just her old friends, she started to talk badly about other people in my friend group. I'd share something about how someone's behavior was slightly hurtful to me and then T would inflate the issue. I claim full wrongdoing here, but it started to affect my relationships within the friend group. I mentioned earlier how we had a similar sense of humor- Our friend group pokes fun at each other every once in a while, and T would participate. She was honestly more brutal than anyone else but we didn't mind all that much. The issue is as my friend put it- "She can say whatever she wants, but as soon as any of us say anything, all hell breaks loose." Here's an example. For valentines Day, I decided to take G and T to Chick-fil-A for a little date. We were sharing one of those heart-shaped trays of nuggets when I said "I love Chick-fil-A, but it's so greasy that it makes me nauseous sometimes." Then T chimes in with "Actually, it's supposed to be 'nauseated.' It's a very common mistake, but a lot of people think it's nauseous when the correct grammar would be nauseated." Because of the tone she said this in, and because I've literally never been corrected on something so stupid before, I genuinely thought she was joking around. I was excited about some fun banter so I tried coming up with a comeback. All I could think of was "Did I ask?" Or "Who asked?", but I knew I couldn't say that because of how sensitive she is. As I was thinking of something to say, G, who also thought T was messing around, said "OHHH She's dumbstruck! Come on give a good comeback!!" I responded with "I'm trying to! But all I can think of is 'Did I ask?', but that's too mean haha." After I said this, T went completely silent and the mood at the table shifted. She said, "Well, I guess I can't trust you guys anymore... this has shown me that I can't be my true self around you without being ridiculed..." I tried to apologize and explain that I didn't realize she was serious when she continued. "I'm an English Lit Major, and this is my whole life. I've loved literature since I was little, and for you to say 'Did I ask?' When I was trying to share my passion with you is so disrespectful. It's like if you or G spent your entire life working on one painting and went to share your painting with the people you love, and all they had to say is 'Did I ask?'"

I’ve never come across this before. I’ve had a really rough day and I came in feeling flat and not dressed amazing as I’ve been in the car all day (and was planning to drive 12 hours but got tired). She looked at me and said, “Sorry, we are fully booked.” I started to walk out, but on the IHG website it wasn’t fully booked. There’s tons of rooms online and almost no cars in the lot. It’s 8:20pm. Was she lying to turn me away? What just happened? I’m like a top tier member, not that she knew that when I came in. I stay with IHG a lot though. Did she think I was homeless? 👀 I have on sweat pants and slides. 😅 I hate driving days.

Originally posted on relationship_advice - the full story and update can be found here on BORU
While watching the Nexpo video on Jason Worley aka u/JasonInHell aka u/JasonInCode I came across a couple recent news articles about a Jason Worley and am wondering if it could be the same person? Check out the links below for yourself:
March 23, 2023 - Five people arrested on various charges in Northwest Arkansas

Jason Worley, 38, of 5 Shepton Lane in Bella Vista, was arrested Tuesday in connection with sexual assault, sexual indecency with a child, delivery of a controlled substance and internet stalking of a child. Worley was being held Wednesday in the Benton County Jail with no bond set.

April 5, 2023 - Bella Vista couple accused of sex crimes and providing drugs and alcohol to girls

Jason Worley, 38, was arrested in connection with three counts of sexual assault, three counts of sexual indecency with a child, internet stalking of a child, two felony counts of delivery of a controlled substance, four counts of misdemeanor delivery of a controlled substance, manufacturing a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia, four counts of endangering welfare of a minor, four counts of contributing to delinquency of a minor and four counts of furnishing alcohol to a minor.

JasonInHell was born in 1985 apparently, so the age of 38 matches as does the name. The pictures do look like him, but the man arrested has a lot more head and facial hair making it hard to tell for certain. The height, weight, and skin color match as does eye color it seems. The crimes committed by this person seem to be in a different location too, but that is not irregular as it has been a couple years now. He was married to a Jennifer Worley who was also arrested in connection with similar charges
I really hope this is not the same person because if so it would make for a harsh update on this story. I have been searching around trying to verify, but the guy understandably nuked the original post/account as well as the update.

me and a friend were going somewhere, and I was having a hard time figuring out where we were supposed to be going. essentially lost. we get on a slim gravel road and follow this road for a while until we come upon a black and white calf that's been hit by a car. we pull off the road, and I wait with the calf while nik goes to find who owns the cow to see if we can have it or at least let someone know it's there. I've been inspecting the cow, and it's still warm to the touch but definitely dead. its eyes have the glaze, and it's not breathing. nik has been gone a long time. I'm sitting in the grass near the cow but a ways away and a man comes up to me and asks what I'm doing and if I need help. I tell him about the cow and that I'm waiting for my friend. he seems confused and looks around. when I get up to show him the cow it's gone. there is a little blood on the street and show him and he says it must have gotten up and that I may have had something to do with it. he's looking at me weird and asks me to come to a place nearby and says he thinks my friend is there too. we get in my car and he gives me directions to a small community surrounded by a forest. it looks as though there used to be trees in some areas that may have died or been cut down. through the small tour i recieve i frequently find myself looking for pine trees but cant find any. i ask and he says they all died a few years ago and doesnt elaborate. we continue on. for a moment I am awestruck. the houses are beautiful. they're styled stone and greenery consistent with some style of architecture i have never seen. some houses are raised up as if waiting for a small flood and some are farther into the ground with recesses to reach the doors. in the middle of all these buildings is a medium sized tree, oak maybe, that has had stairs carved into it and the top branches trained to grow into a small platform. when you ascend the stairs you stand above the treeline of the lowest trees and looking up and the very very large oak trees that must be thousands of years old, there are entire scenes carved into them farther than you can ascertain details of this art. it's reminiscent of renaissance paintings in churches but far grander. there is incredible detail of people, events, wars. unions. it speaks of the history of these people. looking to my left I can see small etchings of a girl surrounded by wild animals that look just a little strange. she looks like me. I'm a little uncomfortable at this point but think it may be a coincidence. I come down from the platform to see the same man waiting with me along with a young couple he's brought over. they introduce themselves to me (I don't remember their names) and invite me inside the building behind this tree platform. it's a small dwelling filled with books and chairs and candles, like a library but it also has carvings, a fire place, and a mechanism to pour fresh water that's shaped like a mermaid. she sits in a tub filled with water and her tail is lifted up over her shoulder and drips water into her hand where her palms are outstretched a small bowl sits to get water. I look besides a bookshelf and my friend is there with a glass of water and looks happy to see me and be out of the heat. he says he's been waiting a while but these people were nice and he was confident they'd find you. I ask him about the calf and he says he hasn't seen it but that the people he talked to said not to worry, because their "one" had come. we're both confused. the woman gives me some water and begins to tell me about her culture. I can't remember a lot of the interworkings of the culture she discussed but I remember it being similar to pagans but without the image of violence associated with vikings. during this conversation the woman tells me a story, one they tell their children and write about in the books in this building some. every village has a different one but here her original name is Vassallah. she is reborn when she dies and sometimes it may take a few generations before she comes back. this particular group has been without a vassalah for 8 years and have been relying on mostly storage of food because their crops fail and calving season is very sparse. all the pine trees died, which she goes on to tell me is the tree they use to symbolize the flow of magic. she finds it interesting i inquored about pines with the fellow who brought me here. when there is no magic they die and with magic they sprout and flourish in the lowest canopy of trees. she goes on to tell me about their "vassallah" she has the ability to reanimate and is the chosen one of every group of these people to lead them in their rites and appoints people their roles. all thebhouses are designed the way they are to encourage the flow of magic depending on what tasks need to be done in them or who lives in them. thats why some are raised and some submerged. she says there are some in the trees nearby. she is the well of their magic and is trusted with the most important tasks. tending to sick animals and people, starting the gardens to ensure their fertility, and she helps the women bear children, she helps raise and teach children. around 10 women will be responsible for child birth in the community. the healthiest strongest and smartest women. they choose their husbands and when they are pregnant they go to this building behind the library one we're in. it's connected via a small stone trail covered in a vine canopy. it's a large house and every room connects. the woman says it's good to have accessibility to one another and resources in such a time. there is a mother similar fountain in this house but this one is a sea kelpie. My friend and the other men are still in the library discussing something else i didn't catch. this woman begins a conversation about how she hopes I stay because she knows the calf I sat with got up and went back to the pasture with its mother. the man that brought me here saw it happen while I was fiddling with the clover and flowers nearby. they think I'm their new appointed.

Pre-context: I’m adopted, my 60yo parents are traditional Christian families. TL;DR and IATA at the end.
Regardless of the beliefs and actions mentioned below, these are examples.
-My parents were deceived by a salesman to buy a car for a high price.
-My mother told me my sister, in college, is bankrupt, in public, at her step-dad’s 92nd birthday.
-One of their biological sons was in debt for a year after college. My other brother was a pizza delivery person for many years after the military.
-I got a B in Algebra 2 in middle school, and my teacher said I should retake it for college. My mom trusted her, told me in public I was forced to retake Algebra 2. I don’t know better despite my opposition and awareness of my current, and all my past major interests don't require math.
-I was handed down a 10+ yo car. I tried selling it after it had been fixed for several thousands. I invited my parents to join. A dealership said it’s worth $500. (I know it’s a dealership pricing.) My dad almost cried (which I have never seen him do my entire life). My mother smiled at me to “reassure” me and my dad. After a moment, my mom asked me how much money I have and if I can afford the car in front of the salesman.

• Due to other members leaving in-and-out, my newly bought car from my money and my parents can’t go anywhere else except the street. It got hit and run the day after we bought it. My mom’s only reaction to not only my dad’s anger for the lack of admission by the person who did it, but my sadness was her saying “this is why you can’t park on the street.” She played Christian music that day in the house.

-Rather than paying at least (default) $80k for 4 years, I can pay $36k. I’ve worked so hard from 5-60 hours per week to save up for this since I was 15yo, and I did my best to get Bs-A+s for credit transfer. My moms reaction to my hour-long revelation of the schedule and total pay was “huh…are you sure, you really have enough money for that. College is expensive and can lead to debt too.”
-I tried to be vocal about all of this dislike throughout the past few years. My mom rolls her eyes and said I’m being over dramatic.
Tl;Dr: My mother is tone deaf and talks about financial states, doesn’t believe my financial analysis, and has no improvements following discussions.
I feel IATA because my mother has every reason to feel worried and care. I'm the fourth child, my parents faced issues, I’m going into college, and I’m almost 19yo while she’s late 60s. My dad and I love talking about life things like money, but my parents share everything. I think my mother would be hurt when she’s found out she’s being told less things now. I’m excluding her from my freshman financial meetings soon. I no longer plan to share my current budget plan and chart for spending and savings.
AITA for wanting to exclude her in matters concerning my money?

i’ve been homeless for 10 days. ive never felt so alone in my life. for the first couple days i slept outside and then my plugs friend let me stay with him for like 2 days. then i slept in a apartment complex. & now i’m sleeping in my plugs 2nd car which i’m rlly grateful for cause it gets so fucking cold at night even being in the apartment complex. my plug said i could stay with him until i get back on my feet a couple days ago. i’m supposed to be staying with him starting today but i don’t want to cause well i’m not gonna get into detail but basically he has a lotta baby mama drama & i don’t wanna be apart of it. i don’t wanna be put in a position where she’s tryna put her hands on me cause she’s just weird. so i’m just gonna stay in his car. he’s genuinely a good person. he’s not one of those guys who does something for u and expects something in return if yk what i mean.
2 days ago i met these kids on the bus and i jus started hanging out with them & we got drunk & smoked & had fun & it made me feel so good & alive bc i don’t have any friends and haven’t had any in a long time. and i never went out when i wasn’t homeless. but then at the end of the night i go to look in my bag and my 8grams of weed, $8, and vyvanse pills were gone. the vyvanse was for my binge eating disorder. i just started it and it was working rlly well then poof gone. haven’t been binging anyways tho cuz yk. yea it’s kinda my fault for getting my shit stole i shoulda been more cautious watching my stuff. i mean i thought i was. my bookbag was on me most of the time. but i guess i was too drunk to notice. or care. i’m not that upset because the weed was free, i could get a refill, & hey it’s $8 but it’s the fact like..i thought we were all having fun and they liked me & wanted to be my friend. & they know i’m homeless. they also took my deodorant which like wtf. it is kinda my fault tho i shoulda had my book bag on me 100% of the time. at least i had fun ig. for the first time in forever.
my mom lives in texas and me and her don’t talk. she doesn’t know. my dad gives me $ for food but he doesn’t rlly wanna do anything which i get because i did fuck up my stay in the room he was renting for me. and i’m 18 now so he’s not obligated to do shit. it still kinda sucks tho cause he has my clothes and all my other stuff and when i ask him for a outfit or sum he gets really angry and its like u don’t have to give me a place to stay or buy me things but u could at least bring me sum clothes or the things i need from my stuff when i ask. & it’s not like he’s busy 24/7. me and his relationship is down the drain now. when i get back on my feet i want him out my life not only for me but for him to because i’ve stressed him out a lot so it’s best for both of us. it’s just sad how our relationship has turned out. we used to be so close but ever since this year started we grew more n more distant. i don’t wanna get back close with him. at least for now. he’s done a lot to hurt me emotionally and i know i have too.
i had an interview at holiday inn a couple days ago. i think i did pretty good. the lady who interviewed me gave me her personal # and said if they don’t call me by mid day tomorrow to call her. i think i lost her phone # tho so fuck. i should’ve saved it right then & there. hopefully they call. i applied for the front desk night shift. i have insomnia so thought why not put it to good use.
i dropped out of high school. not officially but just stopped showing up after winter break so they unenrolled me. i got rlly depressed & burnt out and jus gave up. seniors graduated june 2. the day before they did rehearsals. i decided to jus go to the school. idk why. no i do. i wanted to feel normal again. i wanted to see kids speed walking in the hallways with their bookbags trying to get to class. i wanted to see kids at the lunch tables chat and laugh with eachother. i wanted to feel like i’m just a normal kid with a home like everyone else and i’m graduating and have friends and life’s been good. i wanted to get a taste of highschool one last time. there were teachers who saw me and i got a buncha “where’ve you been?” and “you just disappeared.” they also asked me if i changed schools or if i graduated and i made some bs excuse on how i did but it was online and that it was earlier then public schools. i shouldn’t of went there. i thought it was gonna make me feel good but it just made me feel worse. everyone’s all excited they’re graduating & hyped for the summer but i’m not and have nothing to be hyped for. it just reminded me that i’m a fucking homeless loser with no degree and no job and nothing going for myself & instead of going to school and pushing thru like everyone else i stayed in bed depressed smoking weed all day.
i hope i get this job. i need this one good thing to happen so i can start making money and get back on my feet . i’m trying to be positive but it gets really hard. i cry a lot. sometimes i wanna die. sometimes i imagine someone shooting me in the head & putting me out of my misery. but that’s not gonna happen. instead the days are gonna get longer and longer and harder and harder and i’m gonna have to deal with every bit of it all on my own.

I got family in Southern California, and I'm moving to Chicago soon. I'll be traveling from LAX to O'Hare around 4 times per year, and maybe another domestic flight for fun once in a while. Looks like United Airlines is my best option for flights.
Currently, I have a Chase Freedom Unlimited for general use and a Discover It for rotating categories. Credit score 784, total credit limit 13k, oldest account 3 years. As for income, I have 40k saved from working, but I'm going to be on student loans the next 4 years.
Would y'all recommend getting a travel card for my situation? Looking to just save money on flights. No need for hotels, and I don't care about lounges, upgrades, or whatever. Here's some options I looked into so far:

• United Explorer
  • AF: $95, 60k miles bonus, 2 miles per $1, 1 free checked bag
• Capital One Venture
  • AF: $95, 75k miles bonus, 2 miles per $1
• Chase Sapphire Preferred
  • AF: $95, 60k miles bonus, 5 points per $1

Thanks for the help!

I did try to keep this to a minimum but there’s some backstory I want to include details because I really want to give as much information as possible since I’m looking for help. It took two of us to make this mess. We both made mistakes to get here. I really want to fix this and I’m very willing to accept my part in this mess and see what I can do better.
I’m new here so please excuse formatting or if I mess up some of the acronyms. I’m sorry for my crap grammar and spelling. This is an old Reddit account of mine I forgot I had so not really a throw away but I don’t want to risk any of our friend group seeing our dirty laundry.
A little about me 23 they/them. I grew up broke, with crappy parents and legal guardians with almost no support system. I’m a person of color and pretty queer. I have worked since I was 14 , as an adult did online SW. (he knew I did that when we started dating, even as friends he was very aware of my line of work )I'm also chronically ill/ disabled. HL femish person
About him 26 he/him. He grew up in an upper middle class white American family and grew up in a gated community. Never had a real job till college always had a support system. HLM
I have some health issues that have always been complex and borderline medical mysteries. His family hated me before they met me. His father made statements about “girls like her” even referred to me as racial slur in-front of his family. Younger sister stalked me online finding anything she deemed inappropriate or offensive and sent it around to his family. He couldn’t post pictures of us together publicly since it wouldn’t look good to family/employers.
This is my attempt to summarize 5 years of a relationship but I’ll make a TLDR of this section. I’m sorry about the rambling. Im nervous to share as I know how mean Reddit can be. I want help. I don't ever want the man I love to feel like how some of the people in this subreddit feel and I think I’m making him feel that way now.
Year 1- mostly online good relationships would do fun dirty talk on texting / videos and lots of “fun” when we would visit each other which was actually pretty often considering we were broke and collage yada yada. His family hated me, were rude to me, tried to exclude me from his graduation, refused to allow any photos evidence of me being there. I only got one picture of us together at his college graduation. We would visit each other a decent amount and it would be a fuckothan but I would not really finish.
Years 2-3 - consisted of a good relationship, split chores, love and support, a good bedroom life. His family still hated me and was accusing me of faking health issues and anything else they could think of trying to get him to leave me. online harassment from his sister ect. They hated that I did sw, he said he was okay with it when we first started dating but his mom brought it up she said that he didn’t like it which i found out was a lie much later. I stopped doing sw for the most part only when money was tight he was aware of this. I started my own business to make extra income sometime during Covid it started to get big. He supported me and was super proud of me. We almost broke up when we tried to move in together after a year plus of dating. His mom told him if he moved in with me she would take his car and throw all his stuff away. He had a job paying all his own bills except for phone. I was almost left homeless. We almost never had fights between us only about his family. They blamed me for the distance between him and them. He struggled to tell them the real reason which was partially how they treated me but mostly his own personal reasons. They would fuck off after a week or two things would go back to normal with him swearing it wouldn’t happen again. This was a cycle and during that time we wouldn’t do stuff. We were still having “fun” pretty regularly outside of the turbulence, think like 2-3 months of good healthy sex life then nothing for a bit and then back to normal. I don’t finish during “fun” times but I loved making him finish so I would handle myself later.
They ruined my birthday by starting things while at my birthday dinner with friends ( my birthday is also the anniversary of my dads death but the month is full of death anniversaries of my family. It's a really hard month ) my sister died a few days after my birthday in year 3. While visiting my family in my home state his sister was harassing me on some fake texting app number. Our lease was ending. He made a bunch of promises on how it would be better, how he would stand up for me and set boundaries but no follow through yet.
Year 4 - I got sick and needed surgery and intense treatments. He was there the whole time going into appointments with me holding my hand being amazing. I was depressed that my sister had recently died. It wasn't easy. His grandmother offered to get a PI to follow me around and prove my illness was fake. That was when he lost it and cut them off NC for months. ( he told me about this months later) Eventually he reached out and set boundaries and told them we got engaged. They told him it was a mistake and used statements like “if you think you love her” ect. I was angry at him for years of this. Not standing up for me or himself sucked. We almost broke up. “Fun” pretty much stopped. We did separate therapy. I stopped because money was tight on my half of the finances.
Year 5 - moved into a bigger house (renting) had normal couple issues. Had the big surgery I needed and worked on my health. We got different bedrooms for our own space. I’m a night owl and he is a light sleeper.I was still recovering from health issues dealing with the pretty huge changes in my body but still we both have maintained having HL but not much “mutual fun”. It feels like a chore at this point for me to actually follow through. I love kissing him. I love being near him cuddling, hanging out ect but “fun” just doesn't seem “fun”. I almost always initiate. I stopped which is when things super dwindled down for mutual fun. My business struggled due to stuff out of my/our control. I went back to normal work but it was doing a lot of damage to my health physically and mentally and wasn’t great for the recovery of my big medical scare he wanted me to quit and I knew I needed to. Money got really tight. “fun” was dead but we both still had HL. did stuff maybe 7 times in a year.
Going on year 6 - I went back to doing sw and was trying to drag my business back from the dead. I didn’t know how to tell him, he was already working 2 jobs I never got to see him. He was burning out and I couldn’t find a job that would actually accommodate my disability. Eventually he found out about the sw. We fought but in the end agreed there wasn’t much of a choice. I was wrong for hiding it and should have told him about it. He said he would stop trying to keep the financial load only on him. We sat down and took a look at our bills, made some plans and figured out what we could do to fix the mess of money issues and he asked his parents for help. Made a joint bank account for bills. I kept doing sw for a little longer. I got a new job. I’m in way better health and we are working on the money issue. He was still in therapy for a bit but money was tight so he stopped. Money is getting better. He might be open to going again and I know I would be. Both of us still have HL but not really doing anything together he wants to and I kind of do(?). I want to make him happy.
Sorry for the crappy timeline of our relationship. It's been 5 1/2 years of love and a lot has happened that is hard to summarize.
If you don’t wanna read all of that here’s my attempt at a tldr
long distance turned attempt to move in but his family hated me I almost ended up homeless in a new state we worked it out and moved in together. we don’t fight unless it’s about his family’s treatment of me. I got put in a couple more really not great situations due to his family and him not standing up for me. Eventually he stood up went NC then started working on stuff with them since he had a better idea of boundaries. We were having sex but I was never finishing but I still enjoyed our fun. I would just finish myself off later. Last yea2 years ish I stopped initiating mutual fun. We both have HL but he never really attempts to start things or is awkward about it. I don’t really want to start stuff since I know how sex will go at this point and just don’t feel like going through the hassle when I can finish myself off faster and more personal enjoyment. A few years ago we got into a fight. I told him I was never really finishing I would get close sometime but never get there. His feelings were hurt he made an attempt to do better and get me there but he just hasn’t been able to. Sex is 5-10 min at most 30 min on special occasions but for lack of better words, sex is mid. He is trying to be kinky as he has recently gotten past his pretty sexual repressive instinct left from his childhood. I love kinky stuff and enjoy this new revelation of his, but I’m still not finishing.
Something I wanna make clear. I have never asked him to choose me or his family. He went NC on his own and didn’t even tell me bc he didn’t know how to tell me they accused me of faking a huge very scary health thing I was living through. I tried to look good for his family. I cleaned up my online profiles. I stopped doing sw as my main income source ( in the end he didn’t have a problem with it, his issue was how others might perceive me or judge me and scared about family reaction) I pushed him to try to have some sort of relationship with them through the years. I lost a lot of my family so holidays and like parental celebrations are something I would kill to have. I told him he should be there for those moments so he can have them because his family is still there. The only thing I wanted was for him to shut down any bs I would tell him all the time “ I’m not angry at you for what they say you can’t control that, I care about your reaction. When you don’t shut it down or stand up for me or allow them to influence your decisions on *our* life that’s when I get upset. “ They don’t try to know who I am, just kind of see it on paper or social media and write me off as nothing for 6 years and they still don’t think it’s a serious relationship. They see it as him taking the charity case of the trashy broke girl who’s using him for money. They never get to see him happy or really express himself. He started buying his own clothes (his mom would just buy him stuff and he never complained) he developed a sense of style and is really blossoming into a really wonderful person with lots of passions and interests. I wish his parents could see the man I know and love. I wish they could see how much love we both have for each other and the happiness that we bring to each other.
So now you’re caught up. I love him, he's my best friend. We have been through a lot but I’m still angry about all those years of bs he put me through bc he couldn’t stand up for me. We have talks about wanting kids and I do want that with him. I want the rest of my life with him. I want to build a home with him. I love kissing him and stuff. I *want* to want to have sex with him. If that makes sense? How do I tell him it’s hard to get past all the previous crap? It’s like this mental block I feel like I’m punishing him even though he did the work to fix it. I’m proud he did it but angry. Why did it have to go on for so long and get so horrible for him to fix it.
I don’t know how to tell him honestly that I haven't been finishing. He tries even when he’s finished he will keep going but I can tell and just kinda want it over with so I’ll give a couple good moans and ask him if he finished and kiss him and start the clean up. It’s not that he just doesn't care if I finish or not. Sometimes I think there’s something wrong with me because I can’t finish no matter what I do when I’m with him. Recently he’s tried a few times to initiate but bad timing or I wasn’t really feeling it so I said no. I feel really guilty when I say no but I know he can tell if I’m not really feeling it and will stop halfway. Which is worse than just saying no.
Things I’m doing to try to fix it
I try to sleep in bed with him every once and a while but I wake up in pain so it’s often not worth it. So I've been looking to find a mattress that both of us can sleep on and not wake up sore.
I’m trying to initiate again so far. It's been successful in getting us to do stuff but I’m still not getting there and it’s not often that I can work up the courage or energy to put myself out there and do stuff with him even if I know he will jump at the chance.
I’m trying to work past the too little to late feeling, looking up therapists in our area. I grew up in constant fight or flight. I didn't have stability and was homeless a few times. So when I was almost homeless again it really broke my trust in him. I’m hoping that if I can become more independent again I can feel that security and stability I used to feel with him again.
I am going to try to communicate to him that I can’t seem to finish during sex and take accountability for lying to him about finishing. I can’t really be mad at him about it since he doesn't know.
I’m going to plan dates for us and take some romantic initiative and hopefully that will help.
I’m trying to do more around the house to help but being careful not to push too hard so I don’t have a health flare up and be bed ridden.
How do I enjoy having sex with my partner again? How do I tell him he’s not making me finish? How do I let go and fully trust him again to not put me in a bad situation again because of his family?

This is a personal appreciation/reminiscing post because I have a lot of affection for this sub even though I'm pretty quiet lol
So the sub started 2 years ago with a really small, intimate and active group of members that are still here daily and the community slowly grew through word of mouth and people stumbling upon the sub. Snoo from the beginning insisted on a no-rules, slumber party atmosphere with organic growth and no promotion. I feel like this was key to the immaculate vibes here - everyone feeding off of and growing the creative, supportive, relaxed, intelligent energy that was established at the beginning and flourished just because like attracts like. The members that have joined the sub since then are so smart, articulate, funny, passionate. We mods don't really have to do much since people here are so unproblematic and do their own thing. We have tray challenges now, we've had the collage trend, we have frugal fragrance as a tenet of the sub, we have an amazing DISCORD, etc. This was all member-initiated out of the blue. It's been a tremendous delight to witness these things emerge organically out of what was just a small group of femmes who were sick of Aventus. That's all, I just wanted to say something.
By the way newcomers, fyi we have a very active discord and you're invited! The FFL Discord mod team is super talented and cool as hell, they were the architects of the whole thing. Check it out HERE

I have a 2017 maxima (54,000 miles) and have never had any issues always maintain the car with oil changes.
I do need break pads.
Today the AEB and VDC light went on. Then went off. Then went on again along with the check engine light.
What could this be?
I know the car does have some recalls. Could that be it?
The lights came on after I was pulling out of a parking lot and the tires almost spun out on their own. I wasn’t going fast or anything. Thinking this has something to do with it.
Any help is appreciated. I can’t take it to Nissan until Tuesday.

We are looking to replace our 17 year old Rav4 and want a similar car. Some things about us and what we are looking for:

• live in a hilly area with decent snowfall during winter
• will be used primarily to run errands (runs to groceries, school, commuter train parking lot), short trips (less than 1 hr drive 1x a week), with an occasional long road trip maybe 2-3x a year
• looking to keep something for 15+ years or until it drops dead
• low maintenance, little-to-no drama
• interior passenger space
• good driving visibility
• dont care about extra features on higher trims, except for apple car play, which all of them have in the base models

Now I won’t say the company name because I have no clue if it’s sue able to slander their name. My grandma passed pretty recently and my parents were looking for a casket specifically for the crematorium at the funeral service and were having a hard time finding it. This company’s asshats came to my parents like cars salesmen and took advantage of my parents for a “good deal”. Now the day before the funeral they didn’t do the changes we asked for on the casket that was promised and gave us a completely different casket from the example shown. This messed us up a lot cause we had to go to a completely different place to cremate my grandma so we lost more money. Apparently the banks can’t do anything about this and my parents don’t want to sue because of the time it will take and we would lose more money than get back. I don’t want to let them just get away of taking advantage of my parents so if anyone has any suggestions on what to do in order to at least harm this company a little bit please let me know.

Happy to find this sub.
I think dogs have a place, but not in the house. Houses that have dogs always have a smell. Dogs have some kind of skin oil or something that rubs off and impregnates all of the areas that the dog touches.
I can’t stand dog culture and the people who perpetuate it. Of course I don’t hate everyone who owns a dog, but I really can’t stand people who make dog related activities their entire lifestyle and personality.
I live in an apartment complex that is overrun with dog people. They walk each other’s dogs and let their dogs run around without leashes. It’s literally the only thing any of them ever talk about. They remind me of sheep. They’ve commandeered all of the grassy areas so there isn’t anywhere for kids to play because there are piss stains and dog shit piles everywhere.
Story time: All my neighbors hate me because I got the neighbor above us evicted.
She had two pit bulls who were kept in crates all day while she and her boyfriend worked long hours. When they would come home, they would let the dogs run back and fourth through the house and it sounded like a stampede. More importantly, they often let the dogs run around outside without leashes. Even when they were on a leash, she couldn’t handle them and they would pull her around while chasing other dogs and more terrifyingly, like my hundred pound wife and our two toddlers. She never picked up their shit unless people were out there.
I asked her and her boyfriend to keep the dogs on leashes after they chased my wife to the door at night while “gruffing and ruffing.” They both argued with me and blew me off.
I wrote an initial complaint.
Sadly, the apartment building management didn’t give a shit about the dogs. The ladies that manage the buildings literally brought their dogs to work sometimes. The email response was: “sorry about the dogs, but please rest assured that they are good dogs. Your family is safe.”
The duo started directing the dogs to shit in front of my window every time. I started waking my wife and kids to the car park with a hunting knife clipped to my belt. My wife considered getting a gun. My kids were not allowed outside.
I decided to go on a warpath. I started documenting every incident and replying with updates to the initial response I got from the manager. I took pictures of the pit bulls without leashes. I took video of the woman walking away from turds without picking them up.
The apartment complex finally replied with a request to stop writing emails. They stated that they had already “notified the tenant.” Whatever that means.
The last straw was pulled during the dead of winter when I looked out the patio and saw hundreds of literal piss-icicles dangling down above all my patio furniture and my bicycles. The deck above has gaps and they were too lazy to take their dogs out so they began letting the dogs piss onto the deck where it was dripping through and freezing into icicles.
Managements reply: “maybe it’s not what you think it is. That could be anything like runoff from the roof”
What the apartment management didn’t know was that the tenants above us were growing marijuana. I don’t really care what people do, but the smell was coming into my apartment and I was tired of that also. I knew they were growing because I would see the boyfriend bringing in all kinds of supplies like soil and buckets. I saw him throw out a huge trash bag of stems and trimmings one time also.
Weed is legal to grow in my state but I knew growing was against the apartment complex rules. There is a clause in my lease, so I knew it would be in theirs also.
I sent an email to management about the weed smell and my suspicion that they were growing it. They replied that while smoking and growing are both prohibited in the complex, they had no way of knowing if it was the neighbors in question.
I felt like they were rolling their eyes at me. I was pissed.
Well, it was the middle of winter and pipes freeze in my area if you don’t keep the heat on. I decided to trace their gas line and shut it off at the emergency valve for their meter one night.
They probably had a cold night but they both went to work the next day. When they got home, I heard a lot of fighting and cursing.
I don’t think their pipes froze, but they had to call maintenance who couldn’t figure out that someone had simply shut off the valve. Maintenance had to bring in the gas company and I guess the gas company had to bring in the fire marshall for an inspection because one of the bedrooms was filled with illegal wiring and fire hazards so the gas company was unwilling to turn the gas back on. Of course the apartment management was panicking because they didn’t want the pipes to freeze so they went up there with maintenance to see what was happening.
My last words to them as they moved out during a blizzard: “should have use a fucking leash. This would have been so much easier…” she just stomped off.
I forwarded ALL my emails to the corporate entity that owns the entire complex at that exact time. I haven’t seen the dog lady managers and we have a new maintenance crew. They also build a “bark park” and removed the dog cleanup stations from the grassy areas near people front doors. They replaced the poop bag stations and trash and with a sign that directs them to walk their dogs to the field next to the “bark park.” Of course everyone still lets their dogs shit on the grassy areas.
Apparently the duos apartment was trashed because they were wearing tyvek suits and respirators when they hauled out the carpet and the partially pit bull eaten interior doors.
Your wanna know the worst part? They were part of a dog owner group chat for the apartment complex and they blamed us for getting them evicted, only mentioning that we complained about their poor pit bulls.
Now all of them hate me for making the complex less dog friendly and they all direct their dogs to poop in front of my window. Poor maintenance guy had to come and clean it once a week until they filled in the area with pea gravel.

I’ve been lurking here for a while, this is my story for what it’s worth. I have smoked for 31 years and am 48 now. For the first few years my consumption was moderate but didn’t take long before I was getting through an ounce (NZ$400) every 2 to 3 weeks. I smoked to celebrate, I smoked to cheer myself up when I was sad, I smoked for any reason and smoked even for no reason. If I didn’t have work I’d have my first smoke when I woke up and go from there. Then work from home came along and it got even worse.
To everyone in this subreddit I feel your pain, I’ve tried to go cold turkey with the best of intentions so many times and failed..
As of today I have been sober for 1month 23 days, but leading up to this instead of going cold turkey, September last year I gave a close friend my entire stash and he dispensed me approx 0.2 g/day on average. It was incredibly hard for me to adjust to this at first and a hassle to collect but it made me savour what little I did have. I used a diary app, weighed my bud and took a photo every time.
Ironically as my tolerance level went down I started to enjoy my high so much more, to the point where I had to plan my day and get all of my tasks/errands out of the way first and only smoke after all that was done because it hit me so hard. The high I started to get reminded of why I started smoking in the first place 31 years ago!
I thought a lot about keeping my smoking to this low level but decided I needed to give it up completely for the rest of my life, I can’t trust myself not to fall back to my old ways, so I threw away all my smoking paraphernalia and sold the remaining supply to a friend of a friend.
I was having a lot of trouble sleeping so my doctor prescribed me some medication which helped, however I am still experiencing the dreams that are so vivid when i wake up I’m still talking to someone in my dream. Another example is I dreamed that my motorcycle was stolen, and again it seemed so real that I had to go outside and check it was actually still there! I’m not too sure if I had dreams when I was smoking heavily, but if I did I definitely don’t remember them.
Here in New Zealand at the last election in 2020 there was also a referendum regarding legalising marijuana for personal use. The result was 48.8% yes and 51.2% no. As you can see it was pretty close, but at the time I was astonished because I assumed the yes votes would pass by a huge margin. Looking back now I realise it’s because I know a lot of marijuana smokers, and the non smokers I know are relaxed about others smoking. Obviously if you are a smoker you aren’t likely to have many (if any) friends who are seriously against it so it’s easy to get a distorted view of the society you live in.
I’ve got some close friends who respect my decision even though a few of them are smokers themselves. But this has made me realise how it’s possible to be friends (or more like acquaintances) that have absolutely nothing in common other than a shared love of getting high. It’s sorta like “come join our happy family/gang of smokers” where excessive consumption is normalised and encouraged.
I realise this won’t work for everyone but what worked for me was massively reducing my intake first, initially I didn’t have the intention of stopping altogether, that came much later.
I definitely recommend starting a marijuana diary so you get an idea of what your consumption is, even if you have no intention of cutting down or stopping at this stage, if or when you do decide to cut down you will be able to check your progress.
The benefits I’ve noticed so far is a much clearer mind, getting better at remembering things, reduced appetite (since I used to eat too much) and being able to go up to 24hours without a single cough. Not to mention saving $160/week!
Best of luck to you all, I understand and sympathise with the struggle, what worked for me will not work for everyone but just wanted to share my story.

Current cards: Discover it card $8,700 limit opened in December 2015, Mastercard cash rewards card opened in * Oldest account age: the one in December 2015 so 8.5 years * Credit Score: 835 fico score * Income: *e.g. $95,000 per year * Average monthly spend and categories: * dining $200 * groceries: $400 * gas: $10 * travel: $50 * other: $400 * Open to Business Cards:No * What's the purpose of your next card? Travel overall, but open to a rewards card with travel perk. Want something with a lot of reward benefits. Prefer no annual fee but willing to pay up to $100 annually * Do you have any cards you've been looking at? Not really * Are you OK with category spending or do you want a general spending card? Okay with category spending

I am a recent college graduate who is considering getting a different car once my finances will allow me to do so. I currently have a 1995 Civic LX 4-door, which I inherited back in 2017 when I first got my license. It only had 60k miles on it at the time and was in absolutely mint condition. I've loved this car and it surprisingly still turns heads everywhere I take it. Six years later and it now has 183k miles on it and is starting to show its age. It's an automatic and the acceleration is very underwhelming (11 seconds 0-60 on a good day 😂). It's also starting to have some annoying problems that keep nickel and diming me (electrical problems with headlights/brake lights, occasional fluid leaks) and I'm concerned it may start to become unreliable in a few years.
I'm looking to get a car that's fun to drive, must be a manual transmission, preferably rear-wheel drive, though I'd be open to front-wheel drive, no AWD though, and preferably small and light weight. I'm ok with 2 or 4 doors, although I'm leaning towards 2 doors. Rear seats would be nice too, but not a requirement. Also must be reliable enough to be a daily driver. I live in Southern Arizona and it rarely, if ever, gets snowy or icy, and it doesn't rain much either, so weather won't be an issue. Ideally I'd want something with a 0-60 time of under 7 seconds. I also prefer Japanese cars.
So far I've looked at the early Lexus IS 300 (which is really hard to find in good shape and with a manual transmission), and the Subaru BRZ, which I'm kind of leaning towards.
My budget would be roughly $15,000 max, but I'd be willing to look at something cheaper if it checks all the boxes.
Any other advice on what I should get would be very appreciated. I'm sure there are lots of other options I haven't thought of.

Hey all, it’s me Frank Jones again. I wrote that post a while ago about why you shouldn’t be a paranormal investigator and a lot of you liked it. Since settling into my hideaway in the mountains, life has become quiet and I thought about checking in. The plague hit us like nothing and now that everyone is wanting to travel again, I thought to say hi. I want to say thanks to all of you who commented and gave me those weird pointy thingies this social media does. Some of you even figured out my post office box address and sent me letters. I appreciate it (and don’t do it again).
The common strain among your posts was wanting to know if I had ever encountered other things as an auditor. Of course I have but I have been reluctant to tell you because I don’t want to shine some sort of light on all of it or make it sound like some romantic adventure. It’s “pissing yourself” fear all wrapped up in a waking nightmare with a side of gory terror. I am one of the few who actually made it to retirement…if that’s what you could call this life I’m living now.
But, I have nothing else to do really. Carl only visits once in a while when he’s passing through and I cannot risk any other sort of company knowing I’ve pissed off a lot of people…and things. So, I’m back on this internet board and sharing. So many are curious, I thought maybe another story can scare you all straight. This was the first time complacency almost got me and another killed.
This story takes place somewhere in the 90s in a small New England town. It was one of those places nestled along the banks of a serene river, historic brick buildings line the winding streets, their facades adorned with weathered signs that hint at the town's seafaring heritage. A place where everything smelled like either the ocean or decaying fish. I’m not going to specifically name the town to protect the young lady that may still be living there but in the heart of the town, there’s a renowned drawbridge which stands as a testament to the place’s affinity for water. Its ancient mechanisms creak and groan when allowing vessels to pass through the calm waterway. It also had some of the best outdoor markets I had a chance to stop and check out.
I didn’t pass through this part of the country that often as my boss preferred me to do the long hauls across the country but there was a dead haul nobody wanted.I took it cause I wanted a change of scenery. I was already working as an auditor and part of a loose alliance of others who investigated and dealt with any weird things. I actually had a few monsters under my belt. I honestly had the foolhardy idea that I could handle anything out there. God, I was an idiot.
The supernatural never crossed my mind until that evening, stopping to fuel up my red 1992 Peterbilt 379 and paying for the gas with the attendant and restocking up on those beef jerky sticks and coffee.
That was when I noticed her. She was a young woman about in her mid 30s looking like one of the corporate types with the short hair cut and business suit. I would have not paid her any mind if it wasn’t for the touch of apprehension on her face as she talked on one of those new fangled bright yellow Nokia cellphones. Soft strands of chestnut hair framed her face, their gentle sway moving as she glanced around while talking on the phone. As I observed her, I couldn't help but notice the way her fingers trembled slightly, when trying to get money out of her pocket. I’ve seen that type of fear before. So, like a creep, I eavesdropped on her call.
“Yes, it happened again,” she had said as the nickels finally made it to the counter to pay for her snacks. “I could have sworn there was something outside the window near the edge of the forest….no, of course the security cameras didn’t pick up anything. They’re cheap. Ronald was a skinflint when it came to things like this. Hope he’s rotting in hell wherever he is.”
My mind began to drift away, more annoyed I couldn’t get a move on it. It sounded like a problem for the police and if anything, I was gonna tell her that. It was what she said next that made me stop and brought back the reality of the world.
“Yeah. like nine or ten feet tall. I’m thinking kids are playing around with scarecrows or something. Won’t come from the edge of the forest and when I check, I can see foot impressions and stuff. I already put in a call to the cops. They found nothing.“
“Did it sway a bit and its eyes seem to glint like a cats or owl?” I asked without thinking.
The look I got from both her and the gas attendant made me realize what I had done. Well, too late now.
“I’ll call you back,” she said quickly, eyeing me as she hung up the phone and slipped it back into her purse.
“You need me to walk you to your car, ma’am?” the attendant asked, staring at me.
Of course, I forgot that The Truck Stop Killer had only been arrested a few years before.
“I’m fine, thank you,” she said, quickly gathering her stuff and making for the door. I slapped the one hundred and seventy bucks on the counter to pay for my diesel guzzler ignoring the change and followed her out but making sure to not move in a way that caused the teenager in the station to call the cops.
“Ma’am,” I called out to her and she turned to me while hurrying up her pace.
“I’ve got pepper spray. Stay away from me.”
“The thing in the woods. You could have sworn you smelled fresh dirt like mulch and it seemed to sway back and forth like it could not keep its balance.” I threw it out there in desperation.
She froze and turned to look at me. Eying me up and down as I kept my distance and angled to head towards my truck.
“How do you know?”
“I…uh…dealt with something like that before. On a job in Canada.”
“Who are you?” she asked, looking at my faded shirt and company logo. “A trucker?”
“I moonlight as a problem solver. Like an auditor of sorts.”
“Who is it?” she demanded, eyes still affixed to me and hand in her purse.
“Better question is ‘what is it?’,” I answered.
I have learned to pick up on the contempt and disbelief from people who hadn’t seen what I have. I was already being dismissed as a whack job.
“You have tracks on your porch you have written off as animals, especially if you own a dog. If you did own a dog, it’s missing. Cops told you it ran away. You got a garden?”
“Yes,” the certainty had started to leave her voice. “A walled garden.”
“And anytime you’re in there, you feel like you’re being watched.”
At that, her hand came out of her purse empty and she approached me with the fear I had seen in her eyes now on her face.
“How did you know?”
“I’d rather not explain out here,” I said sheepishly running my hand through my sandy brown hair that only started getting flecks of gray. “But you got a…pest problem.”
“And you can do something about it? I’ve had exterminators, cops, nature lovers…even a priest.”
“None of those won’t do you any good and I don’t want to scare ya but it’s more active which is not a good sign.”
For a few moments, I could see the indecision in her eyes. The desperate want to dismiss me as a lunatic but whatever she had heard or seen won over.
“Fine. You can follow me to the house.”
“Mind if I hitch a ride?”
The woman started but then looked at my truck. “Promise. I mean you no harm. I really think you’re in danger.”
That was when I found her name was Isabelle Walker.
We left my truck in long-term parking after she told the attendant that I was a long lost relative and that’s why the change of demeanor. I don’t know if he believed her but at that point, I don’t think he cared. I left my truck with its metallic frame standing tall and proud amidst the rows of other vehicles.
I did not realize how desperate this woman was until we got going on the road. I had loaded myself in the passenger seat after pulling out my military backpack from the war which I also used for my auditing services and tried to look as harmless as a man of my stature could.
For the first fifteen minutes of the drive, her focus was on the lonely road, those beautiful eyes darting to me anytime I shifted my weight. I didn’t want to scare her so it was her that spoke first.
“What is it?”
“I really don’t know but the people in my profession call it a Bone Walker.”
The nose crinkled in disbelief.
“Halloween is not for a few more months, Mister…”
“Jones. Frank Jones.”
The James Bond reference caused her to snort in amusement.
“I don’t know what to tell ya, ma’am, except I’ve dealt with some pretty scary things out there. Normally I’m never this forward as most people try to call the cops on me or dismiss me as a lunatic. I mean, I could be a lunatic but I know what I’ve seen.”
“And that is…?”
“You know. Ghosts, vampires, werewolves. They’re real. They’re not common but real nevertheless.”
“Really?”
There was still the disbelief in Isabelle’s voice but I grew to ignore things like this.
“Sure. I mean, think of all the things you experienced and be open to alternate answers.”
Isabelle was quiet for a few minutes and then sighed. “Either you are telling the truth or you're the biggest liar and I’m a fool that’s not going to live through this night.”
“I promise,” I tried to reassure her. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
After a few more minutes and off the main highway, we approached her home. The large house stood resolute amidst the dense, ancient forest, its weathered exterior a testament to the passing of time. It was a grand structure, its imposing presence commanding attention. The sprawling estate exuded an air of mystery and faded grandeur, as if it held stories whispered through generations.
As we pulled in, the main house loomed before me, its facade adorned with intricate woodwork and worn stone. Ivy crept along the walls, weaving an emerald tapestry that hinted at the passage of years. The windows, framed by elegant yet slightly cracked panes, stared out into the world with a mixture of curiosity and melancholy.
To the side, a large shed stood detached from the main house, its weathered boards echoing tales of forgotten tools and lost endeavors. The wooden structure sagged under the weight of time, its roof covered in a patchwork quilt of moss. Inside, shadows danced amidst remnants of a bygone era, rusty equipment and dusty shelves attesting to the once-bustling activity that had long since ceased.
Not far from the shed, a family cemetery nestled amongst the ancient trees. Tombstones, adorned with intricate carvings and weathered inscriptions, dotted the landscape. The hallowed ground exuded a solemn tranquility, as if time stood still in reverence for those who rested eternally in its embrace. Wisps of fog clung to the grassy knolls, lending an ethereal quality to the sacred space.
At the far end of the property, an old walled garden stood as a testament to the house's former splendor. Once vibrant and lush, the garden now appeared overgrown and untamed. Stone paths meandered through a sea of tangled foliage, leading to hidden nooks and forgotten corners. Dilapidated stone benches, adorned with intricate carvings, sat scattered throughout the garden, silent witnesses to a time when laughter and conversation filled the air.
As I stood amidst the silence of the forest, the house, shed, cemetery, and walled garden formed a tapestry of history and mystery. They were a testament to the ebb and flow of life, the remnants of a bygone era that clung to the present. Within their weathered walls, secrets whispered and memories danced, waiting to be discovered by those who dared to venture into their enigmatic embrace.
“Great place to be haunted, huh?” she said with sarcasm. “My ex left it to me in the divorce. Was only going to be here long enough to sell it but no one wants it and my job wants me to move to this state anyway.”
“Where are you originally from?”
“California.”
“So, this is definitely a change of scenery for you,”
Isabelle only hummed back at me as she fumbled for her keys in the dying light of evening. I pulled my backpack closer to me as my eyes scanned the treeline where the shadows had begun to deepen. Nothing stood out against the silhouettes of ancient trees which was a good sign. I wasn’t too late.
Stepping through the weathered front door, I entered the interior of the old house, greeted by a mix of nostalgia and faded elegance. The air carried a hint of mustiness, a reminder of the countless years the house had to have witnessed. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light filtering through the stained-glass windows, I could make out the clash between old decor and the modern furniture Isabelle had bought.
The foyer, adorned with a worn, threadbare rug. The walls, once adorned with portraits and intricate wallpaper, now bore the markings of time's passage. The wooden banister of the grand staircase, polished with use, creaked softly under my touch as we made our way towards the living room.
Moving further into the house, I found myself in a spacious living room. Large, ornate windows which would have allowed slivers of daylight to filter through the heavy velvet curtains. The walls were adorned with faded wallpaper. An aged fireplace, its stone mantle adorned with trinkets and old photographs, served as the heart of the room.
“You want some coffee?” Isabelle asked, throwing her keys on to the coffee table. I sat down on her couch and dropped my backpack on it with a clunk.
“Sure.”
“Sugar?”
“A lot.”
The kitchen light clicked on and I heard her moving about setting up the coffee pot. The adrenalin was now pumping through me as my mind raced. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail on what a Bone Walker is but it’s a creature that usually haunts the western coast. It being so far out east was strange. I pulled out my old gun bag and unrolled it. My Stevens Model 520-30 “Trench” shotgun was the first thing I reached for as I popped open the internal pouch holding he high flash shells I was glad I packed. It was the startled sound from Isabelle that made me quickly look up.
She stood there with my coffee, eyes locked on the shotgun in my hand. I slowly held up one of the cartridges I was planning to load.
“Flash powder shotgun shells. No load. Just makes a loud noise and a bright white light. What we’re facing lives in the shadows and hates light…normally,” I had heard stories that they could strike in the day but it was extremely rare. She didn’t need to know that.
“Oh,” was her quiet response. “Do…do I need a gun?”
“You know how to use one?”
“No.”
“Then it’ll do more harm than good. You got any flashlights?”
Isabelle nodded mutely, the gravity of the situation sinking in at the array of weapons and items in my pack laid out in front of her.
“Go get them.”
While she was gone, I quickly unloaded the silver bullets out of my Makarov pistol (a gift from a Viet Cong officer and a story for another time) and placed normal 9mm rounds in the clip. I had it holstered under my jacket with the two back up clips when she returned with three cheap flashlights.
“One in your hand and one in your pocket.”
“Why?”
“In case you drop the one you are holding.”
The woman obeyed silently.
As night fell quickly around us, I slung my shotgun over my shoulder and with Isabelle close, we made our way upstairs. There were tell tale signs I needed to check as the only advantage I had over this thing was the fact it stuck to a pattern. If it was at the stage I thought it was, there would be signs.
“Which room is yours?” I asked.
Isabelle pointed to a door down the hallway across from a large window. Approaching it, I quickly shined my flashlight at the mahogany door frame. It was the glint that caught my eye. Deep gouges in the wood.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Claw marks,” I responded. There was no use sugar coating anything now.
“This thing was in my house?” Isabelle said horrified.
“For the last few weeks now,” I said, my nose picking up the faint odor of dirt and mud.
“Why didn’t it attack me then?”
“It wasn’t time.”
“What?”
Talking was going to be the only thing to keep her focused. I had felt the world shift a bit as night fell and I needed her not to panic.
“Bone Walkers are ritualistic creatures. They are very choosy over their prey. It can take a month or two before they move in. That’s why they are so hard to catch.”
“Criteria? Like what?”
“We don’t know.”
That was the honest truth. The only reason we knew their existence and patterns was thanks to blind luck and people surviving their encounters. I showed my light around looking for other signs. Discolored stains in the corners where shadows would naturally form, healthy moss and mold that shouldn’t be there. I found a patch around her bed. She did not notice and I did not want to tell her that it probably stood over her through the night watching her sleep. The sooner I buried this thing, the better.
“Frank!”
There was a trill of terror in Isabelle’s voice and I immediately looked to where she was. The woman was standing by her bedroom window staring out at something. I quickly moved and spotted what she saw. In the forest, at the edge of the shadow cast by the moonlight was an almost, imperceptible form. It stood nine feet, hunched over like a broken scarecrow, its owl like eyes staring back at us.
“Shit,” I muttered. Thank god we had turned on the lights as we went.
It was the flash of light and the crack of thunder that heralded the arrival of the storm. The lights of this old houses flickered which caused my belly to flop a few times. My brain was on fire as I glanced back from the lightbulb to where the creature was and found it had vanished.
“Where did it go?”
I did not have time to explain as another crack of lightning caused the lights to dim. I grabbed Isabelle roughly by the arm and yanked her back down the hallway towards the living room where I had left my stuff. We barely made it to the living room when the lights dimmed low. I grasped the glow sticks out of the bag, cracked a handful and scattered them about, their bright yellow light beginning to glow. The power then went out bathing us only in the eerie glow of the emergency lighting.
As we waited in breathless anticipation, the storm struck, its wrath manifesting in torrential rain. The mansion seemed to respond, succumbing to a power outage that plunged us into an abyss of blackness only moments before.
A trill of terror coursed through me. I knew this Bone Walker thrived in darkness, using it as a cloak to conceal its malevolence. We auditors were not sure if it actually teleported or it preferred to move in pitch darkness. I just knew that the black was our biggest threat.
For a few moments, we could only hear the ragged breathing of the two of us being drowned out by the pounding rain against shingle and glass. Isabelle had wound her hand into my jacket pocket and was gripping it tightly, I could feel her shaking with terror. I kept my shotgun gripped tightly in my hand listening for the tell tale sound of its arrival.
It was the movement out of the corner of my eye and the fact her grip got tighter on my jacket. I swiftly turned on my high-powered flashlight as I spun around and the brilliant beam pierced the obscure corner of the room. No matter what I had read or seen before did not prepare me for what I saw.
It stood there in the corner, its eight foot height engulfing that section of the house. My eyes strained as it appeared the thing was struggling to stay in focus. Its arms were too long for its body, spindly and almost to the floor while the legs appeared backwards giving it a strange forward leaning look. It wore a hunter’s long coat and trousers but through the rips and tears I could make out something squirming and moving underneath. The air filled with the stench of decaying plants and diseased vegetation. Its face was covered with what looked like the remnants of a cheap bandanna but its owl-like eyes gleaned back with malevolence.
Isabelle whimpered, her fear palpable in the room and the Bone Walker lunged toward us. Even though my fear was ripping through me like an unstoppable train, I had the sense to pull the trigger of my shotgun aimed in its direction. The flash and resounding roar painted the entire room in a brilliant black and white shadow causing every corner and edge to appear thick and vivid. The creature screamed and fell to the side into the shadow not illuminated by the weapon’s fire.
Isabelle had thrown herself on the couch and was huddled there, trembling with terror, while I moved quickly to crack a few more glow sticks and toss them into the dark corners of the room. In one, I saw its foot recoil back into the kitchen where it was darker than night itself. This was quicker than I had anticipated. The plans I had been formulating on the drive were no longer viable. I wanted to lure it to where I controlled the battlefield but that was not an option anymore. This had become a cat and mouse game and I knew this was with a predator I could not even hope to understand and had years to hone.
Out of the kitchen again this thing charged forward, relentless in its pursuit, it was trying to find a way around my light barrier which only appeared to slow it down. With shaking hands, I fired several more rounds, each blast forcing the creature to retreat and the girl to scream in terror. As soon as it retreated to a dark part of the house, I turned to where the woman of the house had been. To my horror, Isabelle's fear had gotten the best of her. In that moment of panic, she darted from the safety of the light, towards the hallway and the door outside.
“Isabelle! Stop!” I yelled trying to command her back with my voice but I doubted she heard me. Between the abject horror and the relentless rain, she was going to take her chance. A chance I knew she did not have.
I only took a step when I sensed it. The musty smell of an organic landfill overwhelmed me as the form silently darted past me, its long arm clobbering me up the side of the head. The world spun as pain burst through my brain. I felt the world tilt and fall heavily to the ground, flashlight and shotgun falling away.
As I slipped in and out of consciousness, I knew I was a sitting duck for this thing. There was no way for me to stop it from ripping me to shreds like some of the corpses I had seen. As I blinked, I came to my senses and realized I was alone. How long I had actually been on the ground, I did not know.
I sat up, my head pounding and I could see the door hanging open, the wind slamming the door on its hinges and the rain soaking the hallway floor. Struggling, I found my flashlight and gun and pulled myself together.
There was a slim chance that Isabelle was still alive. I had to think. Where would it go? I ran all the stories I could think of and then it hit me. The garden. The walled garden.
I charged into the rain-soaked night. I sprinted toward the enclosed garden at the edge of the property. As I grew closer, I saw that the rusted door was open and hope flickered in my soul. As I came to a stop, I brought my flashlight up again with my shotgun and saw it.
This creature stood there in the middle of the overgrown garden, its massive clawed hand wrapped around Isabelle’s chest and holding her up. Out from under its bandanna mask, putrid vines had appeared and led up to Isabelle’s face where they were forcing their way down her throat and up her nose. I could see the wide terror in her eyes as vines were snaking their way around her waist and I did not want to think about what they were planning to do.
I brought up the shotgun again and fired. Knowing that I had distance, the flash of light caught the creature by surprise. It shrieked as it fell back. Trying desperately not to release its prey. I did not hesitate to grab the machete at my side and hack at its arm until Isabelle fell down free of it.
It’s claw swiped at me striking me on the leg and easily tearing through my pants leaving bloody lacerations but I put the weapon point blank and fired another round. I do not know if it was the flash, the combination of the creature, or that the almighty above was looking out for me, but the creature caught ablaze from the spark.
It fell back swinging wildly as the fire spread unnaturally fast catching the plants around it on fire. Within a matter of seconds, the walled garden had become ablaze with the bone walker in the center. As I ripped the vines out of Isabelle’s mouth and dragged her towards the door, I looked up to see those owl-like eyes looking at me with such abject hatred that the look stick with me today.
I honestly don’t know how we survived. I had helped Isabelle to her porch and we both passed out against our will from the sheer terror and exhaustion. We were awoken by the sound of a siren. The lights had come back on sometime in our sleep and the rain had drifted off to a comforting drizzle. The fire was still raging in the garden but contained by the ancient walls. At least two fire trucks, an ambulance and cops were flying up the private road towards us.
This entire hunt had been ill-planned and stupid. I knew it. As the cops approached with their hand on their pistols, I knew that I had allowed my own ego to get in the way. I should have taken Isabelle somewhere else until I had done a proper reconnaissance. I shouldn’t have taken her home where it was waiting. And now, the cops were looking at two thoroughly soaked humans, one a trucker with a wound and a gun and a young lady in distress. I was pretty sure I was going to go to jail.
“Isabelle?” One of the cops and his voice caused her to sit up, relief washing over her.
“Derek!” she wailed. “We were attacked! In the garden!”
Another two cops that had arrived had taken off in that direction while Derek helped the girl up and took her towards the ambulance. The other cop with a comically large mustache looked at me with keen eyes, his hand still on his pistol, sergeant stripes glowing in the light.
“Attacked?”
“Yeah,” I said, sitting up slowly and keeping my hand away from the shotgun and trying not to show the one under my jacket. “Someone came after Mrs. Walker. They were in the garden.”
The cop watched me closely but there seemed to be a recognition in his eyes.
“You by any chance Frank Jones?”
My heart jumped and I must have looked startled as the cop’s face broke into a smile. To my relief, his hand fell away from his holstered sidearm.
“I’ll take that for a yes. My guess is you don’t remember me. Clay Wilson. Santa Fe PD, about six years ago. You helped my partner with a...problem. Nellie Nelson?”
I knew the name but the face escaped me.
“She told me you helped her audit a police union building.”
“Ah, yes,” I said, remembering dealing with the wraith and the twinge in my right arm from it’s bite.
The cop looked towards the fire that was slowly being put out by the fire fighters.
“Any chance this will be one of your audits?”
“Yeah.”
He seemed to think for a few minutes and then nodded.
“Then I think you need to grab that shotgun of yours and hitch a ride with me before too many people ask questions. Whatcha think?”
I nodded. I was not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I collected my stuff quickly from the living room and made my way back out where he was waiting. As I limped with the cop to his car, I looked towards Isabelle who was being held by the other. She gave me a look of thankfulness as the cop looked at his partner with confusion.
“Her brother’s got her,” Clay said, opening the back door for me. I was not gonna argue or fight. If he took me to jail or not.
And that was it. My leg was not as bad off as I thought and wrapped it in the back of the police car. Clay only asked where I wanted to go and he took me back to my truck. With that time, I was back on the road with that small town in the rear view mirror.
I never did find out what happened to Isabelle after that, if another creature came looking for her or if she had a chance to live in peace. I just knew that we both barely made it out alive and that was due to my own stupidity. I was furious with myself for weeks after that and told myself I wouldn’t put another person in jeopardy like that again. At least, despite my idiocy, another life was saved and another monster was put in the ground...I hoped. I never did find out if they found a body.

I'm still having some issues with my '90 miata stalling at idle. I did a whole host of gasket replacements this past winter (including head, valve cover, cam seals, etc.), and now that the car is back together I'm having trouble getting it to run. It's stuck in somewhat of a run/die with no idle loop, where I can start the car but without touching the throttle and giving it gas, it will bog out and die without ever finding an idle. I've checked nearly every sensor at this point (tps, afm, iscv, etc) besides the o2, and noticed after putting my new catback system on today that the exhaust REEKS of what could possibly be unburnt fuel (or the cat since its the factory cat and people say it stinks when it gets blown out from age.) I pulled my new spark plugs to check, and they also smell of fuel and had lots of deposits on them (the car hasn't left the garage since they were installed so I thought this was strange.) I held the throttle open long enough today to get up to operating temp, but my fans never came on and the car still died out when I let off the throttle. I did get a check engine light for the first time today however, which flashed code 15 (bad o2 sensor, or running lean/rich). Would a bad o2 be enough to make the car run rich enough to die at idle like that? I don't want to sink the 50$ or so into a new one if that isn't even a possible cause. I'm not sure if the running rich is a byproduct of the bad o2, or vice versa if the bad o2 is a byproduct of running rich. Any suggestions?

Hello, friends.
Today, we're going to receive quite a lot of exposition about the nature of Strictland through the eyes of Seonghwa. There's a lot to discuss, so let's jump right in.

01: What are your thoughts on the page?

BobbyJ: I have a note on my page that says the Strictland government and economy are further explained in Pt. 3 Intro
GD: Okay. This is a big page
BobbyJ: It's interesting that emotions aren't fully abolished. They're just severely dulled. Which obviously reminds me of The Giver. And that only art has been abolished specifically.
GD: Yes, I think that's right. I feel like we should go paragraph by paragraph with this one because there is a lot
BobbyJ: From the top then?
Once again, it feels that we're left to infer what has happened in the meantime
GD: Yes, the first line makes it feel we're getting the Halateez story from the Grimes’ perspective, but then we get a lot of world building details to help us understand it. Are we to assume that the Grimes siblings think these boys look like Halateez? Or do they not know? Because Halateez wore masks?
BobbyJ: No, I think Ateez probably were like "What's the deal with this place?" And the Grimes Boy has been filling them in on the story. The entry starts at the end of the story and then fills us in
GD: A note: "the entire human race"
We've talked before about whether there is a world outside of strictland. And you know, I still don't know? Maybe that's a future goal? Or Z is in charge of the entire human race, which feels... big
BobbyJ: Yeah--it feels more like the simulation says "the entire human race would benefit from this thing" and Z just applies that structure to his world he somehow is in control of. And by his world, I mean more the country/area he's in charge of
GD: I'm in this second paragraph here, and I guess I'm just thinking that Z isn't wrong. Human emotions do cause crime and terrorism. But it reminds me of the gun debate we're currently having in our country? And all of the politicians who want to blame it on mental health? which is part of the problem, but it isn't the whole problem
BobbyJ: I disagree. It's true that we can't control our feelings. But our feelings do not dictate what we do or how we act. It's the will to do something wrong for the sake of selfishness or greed--which I don't classify as emotions
GD: I guess I'm saying that I think human emotions are a cause, but not the cause
BobbyJ: Mental health is also a factor, I think
GD: I think I am more sympathetic to Z and the simulation. I do think human emotions can lead to crime and terrorism, but they can just as easily lead to beauty and joy. So if you get rid of human emotions, you probably will stop some crime, but you will also stop other things.
BobbyJ: I am not sympathetic to Z because I don't feel this is as benevolent as it might appear. It feels very sinister to me. "This is all for you" is bullshit
GD: I can see Z as the hero of his own story--a Thanos type character--but we don't really know enough about him at this point.
BobbyJ: This is full speculation, but do we think Z also agreed to have his emotions limited and memories removed?
GD: Almost surely not. Those rules don't apply to people who can be trusted, I assume
BobbyJ: "Central government.” Implies, like, the existence of branches, no? Which makes me think the world is bigger than it feels
GD: Does the Korean government currently have branches? I know they have a president, but I guess I don't know much else about how power in the government works there. Like I don't know if they have legislative bodies, how powerful the judicial branch is, etc
BobbyJ: It appears it is similar to the U.S. After reading for two minutes
GD: Helpful context though
BobbyJ: Their president can only serve one five-year term. Means nothing but is interesting. Kinda wish we had that same policy these days
GD: For sure
I want to talk about art. Art with a capital A. Art=emotion
BobbyJ: Yes. The entire process of creating and engaging with art is based on emotions
GD: Sort of no matter how the individual members of Ateez feel about their lore, I have always felt that they embody that philosophy. Just this idea that Art is Important?
I talked about this the other day, but I was very impressed with KQ hiring a local artist for the billboard promotion during anchor. I thought it was very thematic, and also that it sort of embodied a lot of the ideas that they do put out in their diaries. Because as you mentioned earlier, art is the only thing that's banned
BobbyJ: I'm thinking about this idea of songs that give me negative feelings vs. songs that give me no feelings at all. I don't know exactly what I am thinking. But it reminds me of a chat I had with a fellow yearbook advisor years ago
He said that when his staff is trying to decide on their artistic direction for that year's volume, they'd go through a bunch of magazines and everyone would pick out spreads they really like. They'd pin them all to a bulletin board. Then each staffer would get two colors of push pins. They'd all use one color for spreads they like and one for spreads they hate. He said that after the exercise, they'd remove all the spreads that received none or few pins while those that had a lot of either love or hate pins they'd keep.
And I thought it was interesting that the hated spreads were kept. And his reasoning was that those spreads made the staffers feel something. It wasn't a good something, but it was something
GD: That is interesting
BobbyJ: And when I apply this idea to music or movies or tv or art--the things I actively dislike do stick with me while the things I just nothing fade away
GD: It reminds me of book clubs in a way? Like, in my book club, we have a great book club discussion when everyone loves or hates the book. If people are like, yeah, it's fine, the conversation is so.... nothing.
BobbyJ: Is it. . . harder to talk about things that we love actually?
I can't help but notice that whenever there's a heartfelt appreciation post, it gets very little traction and engagement. But if someone does an "unpopular opinion" or "things you hate about the group you love" post, suddenly everyone has something to share. Perhaps we've talked about this before. Justifying why you dislike something is easier than justifying why you love something?
GD: So I sometimes wonder if, when it comes to music, the problem is one of vocabulary more so than a lack of desire? Like, most people have taken a basic literature class, so when we love a book, we can all universally talk about things like plot, structure, characters--we have some sort of shared understanding of the parts of a story and can discuss and identify the things that we like
It's different for music. I do not know how to identify the parts of a song or the instruments or just the music things that are happening. Music knowledge and vocabulary is so much more niche, so I do think that makes it harder to discuss and pinpoint music that we really love--because we're experiencing it fully emotionally, the context and words all removed. So I do think with music especially, it is easier to talk about the things that we dislike.
BobbyJ: But shouldn't your dislike also require vocabulary? I remember when I was trying to rant about O.O I didn't have any of the words so I had to resort to metaphor
GD: I think it's possibly easier to come up with metaphors for things we dislike than things we love. I can only describe listening to Jongho as like looking into the face of god so many times before I start to sound like I'm slightly insane.
But you know, people don't have the right words to describe why they dislike something all the time--and they just go forward with the wrong words. How many times have you seen someone say "Ateez's music is too noisy for me" when Ateez has possibly two songs in their discography that could be labeled noise music? "I don't like the autotune" when there's barely any autotune
BobbyJ: People do seem to have Feelings about Ateez music. Which I would argue supports the idea that Ateez are making Art
I do wonder exactly what Z classifies as art
GD: I for sure agree with you. It's like that conversation about what a cover should be from the other day: you can like or dislike what Ateez does when covering another group's song, but they will be changing it to achieve their own artistic expression. They will not make you a copy. They will make new art.
We know paintings. Music seems implied.
BobbyJ: Fashion probably? Which makes me think it's interesting that Left Eye specifically is a former designer. But it wasn't the art ban that made him give up designing
Actually, reading ahead. I'm not sure fashion was banned after all? It's hard to tell
GD: I guess it's interesting to me because anything can be art. A house, a car, furniture? Given the right person making those things, they can be art just as easily as they might not be art.
So I do wonder if Z is defining Art more broadly... like, art is not this thing, but art is anything that incites an undue amount of emotion
BobbyJ: Right--I was just thinking, is all music art? And I would argue no if the person writing a song is not doing it for the sake of expression but for the sake of making money. But if that song evokes emotion in someone else, I'd say yes, it is art.
GD: We do have those prohibited signs from Rhythm Ta, which calls out "art, music, dance"? Am I remembering that correctly? Or is it "art, music, emotion"?
What does it mean for something to be defined as art is really a question courts have struggled with for many, many, many years. So it's possible that even in Z's world, what is art is a question that is constantly influx and being redefined
[BobbyJ provides screenshot of Rhythm Ta stage]
Okay, so art, dance, and music are Art specifically.
"Art" lower case art, I'm assuming is paintings, drawings, sculptures. The physical arts.
BobbyJ: Right. Literature and fashion aren't mentioned. Or acting. But maybe they fall under the general Art umbrella. Keeping it vague gives Z more control
GD: Do you know the supreme court case where the supreme court tries to define art?
I feel like I should look it up to get that quote. Hold on--I need to check something
[GD checks something]
So in Tutton v. Viti, the supreme court implied that it is up to the creators to define whether the thing they created is art. The case was about sculpture, and whether these sculptors who were copying sculptures were engaged in the act of creating art
BobbyJ: Just straight up copying?
GD: And basically, they said the sculptors were artists due to their skill despite the lack of creative merit. They weren't trying to like, sell them. It was creating replica sculptures in art class. Which would violate copyright (if they were selling them)
BobbyJ: So, like, if I do a cover of a BTS song and I sound identical to BTS, I'm still an artist . Hypothetically
GD: If you perform it with good enough skill, according to the US Supreme Court, it seems so
BobbyJ: Wait--they weren't selling them? Then what was the problem? How did it end up in the Supreme Court?
GD: I have not read the full case and it is extremely old, so hard to parse, but it seems the original sculptor did not want them making replicas in their art class and argued they were not allowed to do it because it wasn't real art
BobbyJ: Artists do studies all the time where they basically copy other artists' work in order to learn techniques
GD: And the supreme court said, no, they can do that. Which, exactly. This is a precedent that holds. If you do art and sell it, I can't copy it and also sell it. I can however copy it and use it for my own personal use (legally--that doesn't mean it's ethical, but legally)
BobbyJ: Well, it's the same idea as me copying a designer dress and making it myself and for myself because I don't want to spend $800 on a dress
GD: Like if someone made something on etsy that I wanted, and I didn't want to pay for it, I can legally copy it for myself. Right, the supreme court would define both of those things as artistic endeavors
BobbyJ: Huh. I mean--I don't disagree. I'm also not certain it needs to be termed as "art"
GD: Terming it "art" is how they protect it because art is a protected right under the constitution
BobbyJ: Wait--if art is also a protected right in the South Korean constitution, then that would imply that Z was able to change the constitution. Which is wild. How long did this process take?
(Also, assuming that Strictland was originally more like South Korea)
GD: We'd have to review the South Korean constitution. I don't know for sure that it is a right because I know nothing about their legal system. But because art is protected under our constitution, I have always defined art fairly broadly. So considering art being banned, is putting me in a different head space
BobbyJ: Article 22: All citizens shall enjoy freedom of learning and the arts.
GD: I'm now looking up how to make constitutional amendments in Korea
BobbyJ: I mean if they also had a National Assembly, he got the bill passed there
GD: It makes me think I've gone pretty far afield here
BobbyJ: If we're thinking about it, I guarantee the Intern also thought about it
GD: I would like to note that "people enjoyed material affluence"
BobbyJ: Yes, I have a sticky note about that
GD: And I am thinking of Maslow's hierarchy? Which I know is something we've also discussed a lot. But I am wondering, how many citizens weren't having their basic needs met when they agreed to give up art?
BobbyJ: Right. Is art part of our Maslow?
A lot probably. There had to have been problems in order for people to accept Z's proposal
GD: It's certainly easier to give up art if you're not currently able to eat
BobbyJ: Mingi comes to mind. Which I think is when we were discussing Maslow
GD: I have argued, and I will still argue it, that art should be part of human's basic needs. Like, it can make the rest of it all seem less grim for some people. But yeah, if you don't have a place to live, don't have any food, are struggling to just survive, giving up art for the promise of having your basic needs meet will be very appealing to many people
BobbyJ: I think I would argue that art belongs on the "love and belonging" tier which is about friends, family and connection. Art helps us connect with ourselves and others and the world around us. Like, you read a poem that perfectly describes how you feel. Or Ateez releases Turbulence and you swear they pulled the lyrics straight out of your soul
GD: Mmmmmm. . . and love and belonging aren't actually that low on the pyramid. High I mean. They're not that high--they're in the middle
BobbyJ: But you can't really fully reap the benefits of that tier if you are starving to death. And self-actualization is pretty meaningless if you aren't connected to other people in some way
GD: I spend a lot of time thinking about self-actualization which I forgot was even on this pyramid. I'm looking at the pyramid now, obviously
Yes. Art is love and belonging. I've decided you're right. So they've traded in love and belonging for the two things below it
In the next paragraph, they say that the songs had "the power to attract people" which I think is interesting
BobbyJ: The "various fields" is interesting to me. I think of people in different lines of work. Like scientists, teachers, lawyers, etc. But I'm not sure that's what it means
GD: I had long ago been confused about who the black pirates were and how they related to halaateez, but this line makes it pretty clear that halateez sort of inspired other people to get out of Z's control, and then those other people formed the black pirates
BobbyJ: Right. Halateez are "men wearing black fedora.” The Black Pirates is the name of the resistance
GD: Halateez "stimulated" them. Which, with what we know from Halazia, makes sense that the resistance seems to venerate them? Because they weren't necessarily a part of, and well known, to the resistance. They were merely the inspirational rallying cry. Does that make sense?
BobbyJ: Like Katniss. Not everyone knew her but they knew OF her
GD: Yes, and I'm interpreting Halazia as showing us what Strictland thought of halateez, not that halateez appear in the MV because I do not think they do.
Back to your point, what do you think people from various fields means if not different positions?
BobbyJ: I wondered if it meant more physical location. Although, if you have people with different skills and specialties, it would explain how the resistance is able to start fighting back
GD: Do you think it could mean something similar to stations too? Like, young, old, rich, poor, etc
BobbyJ: Could be.
GD: Skipping to the last line, we have Hwa sort of repeating a line similar to Hongjoong's in the first entry? What's important is getting back home. And they can't do that now
BobbyJ: Right. They haven't grasped their place in this story yet
GD: I read ahead because I couldn't stop myself and the jump is fascinating "we have to get back home" to "I won't come back home"
BobbyJ: I have also read ahead but a lot further
GD: Sounds right lol
BobbyJ: Because I became very curious about a different switch--how do they go from we need to get home to let's save this country
And I think I have an idea
GD: That is also the switch I was looking for
BobbyJ: This is way ahead, but after the Receiving of the Suits, in the very next chapter, San discovers the lost memories and feels "a surge of anger.” After that, Yeosang gets caught and all the drama happens with the museum and Yunho's brother. But I think that's the switch. I think it triggers San's empathy. And he spreads the agenda to the others
GD: I am very interested in what's happening with Yunho, but I suppose I need to save my interest for like 6 weeks. I do think we will need to cut this bible study in half
BobbyJ: Expected
GD: Well, this was a big page. It had a lot. We read some constitutions even
BobbyJ: Much was learned
GD: Do we have any more thoughts on the page? Or should we pick a patron saint to hold us to next week?
BobbyJ: I'm sure there's lots more to say. I just don't know what any of those things are.
GD: Perhaps we will have more thoughts on the page next week even. A double round of thoughts on the page
BobbyJ: Might even need a part 3
GD: I've been using an extra ES album to pin the postcard for my patron saint on my bulletin board, and I have appreciated it deeply. Hongjoong has been up for two weeks now
BobbyJ: I feel like the patron saints actually work. Except I didn't have one this past week and that probably explains a lot
GD: I kept Hongjoong, but I do think it would've been wise to have a refresher
BobbyJ: Let's just make sure we do it every Sunday, Bible study or not
GD: Right, even if we cancel bible study, a new, Very Important thing
So, this week, I need to finish the line edit of this book. Which means I need to focus and stay motivated. I think the boy I want to guide me through it is Jongho. I need his professionalism in the face of challenges and his commitment to doing the things that he doesn't like as much because he knows that it is part of his job.
Also, it's hard to think about anything other than his Immortal Songs stage, so I may as well lean in
BobbyJ: Let it be your battle cry
So. This is the last full week of classes. Which means a lot of work to finish off the semester. But, the list is so much shorter than it used to be. So that's something to be happy about.
But also, based on his condition today, I suspect that this might be the week I have to let go of Oliver. [Editor’s note: It was.]
And I think I need San. His ability to embody whatever moment he's in on stage. I don't fully understand how it translates, but I feel it's true
GD: Hmmm yes I think I understand, though I don't have the words either.
There's something about present-ness and humanity in there. I have always thought that San had a real ability to see the human-ness in others and to communicate the human-ness in himself. Which probably only makes sense to me.
BobbyJ: No, I think you're right. There's something extremely real about him
GD: I hope he helps guide you through what has the potential to be a very hard week
BobbyJ: Whatever happens, we keep moving forward. Which also feels very San.
-----
Thank you for joining us today. We'll be back next week with our Seonghwa Sacred Writing Practice. Have an excellent week, and may your personal patron saint guide you well.

• Complementary video
• Previous "Day 0" threads

READ THIS FIRST! HOW THIS WORKS & FAQ

It's difficult to create a server in cloud without a credit card

We normally recommend using Amazon's AWS "Free Tier" or Digital Ocean - but both require that you have a credit card. The same is true of the Microsoft Azure, Google's GCP and the vast majority of providers listed at Low End Box (https://lowendbox.com/).
Some will accept PayPal, or Bitcoin - but typically those who don't have a credit card don't have these either.
WARNING: If you go searching too deeply for options in this area, you're very likely to come across a range of scammy, fake, or fraudulent sites. While we've tried to eliminate these from the links below, please do be careful! It should go without saying that none of these are "affiliate" links, and we get no kick-backs from any of them :-)

Cards that work as, or like, credit cards

• Debit cards
• https://www.paysafecard.com/
• privacy.com (US-only)

But what if I don’t want to use a cloud provider? You can just work with a local virtual machine

You can run the challenge on a home server and all the commands will work as they would on a cloud server. However, not being exposed to the wild certainly loses the feel of what real sysadmins have to face.
If you set your own VM at a private server, go for the minimum requirements like 1GHz CPU core, 1GB RAM, and a couple of gigs of disk space. You can always adapt this to your heart's desire (or how much hardware you have available).
Our recommendation is: use a cloud server if you can, to get the full experience, but don't get limited by it. This is your server.

Download the Linux ISO

Go to the Official Ubuntu page and download the latest LTS (Long Term Support) available version.
NOTE: download the server version, NOT the desktop version.

Create a Virtual Machine with VirtualBox

• Create a local Linux server with VirtualBox

Install VirtualBox, when ready: * Click on Machine > New * Give a name to your VM and select the Type Linux. Click Next. * Adjust hardware: 1024MB memory and 1 CPU (this is the minimum, but you can reserve more if your host machine can provide it). Click Next * Virtual hard disk: 2,5GB is minimum, 5GB is a good number. Click Next. * Finish but we're not done yet. * The new VM should show up in a list of VMs, select it. * Click on Machine > Settings * Click on Storage. Right-click on Controllet IDE, click on Optical Drive. * Select the ISO from the list if available, if not click Add and find it in your directories. Click Choose. * Click on Network and change the network adapter to Bridged Adapter. * Click OK * Click Start or Machine > Start > Normal Start.

Installing Linux

After a few seconds the welcome screen will load. At the end of each page there's DONE and BACK buttons. Use arrow keys and the enter key to select options. When you're ok with your selection, use the arrow key to go down to DONE and enter to go to the next page.

• Welcome Screen: Select your language
• Keyboard Configuration: Select Keyboard type
• Choose type of install: Select Ubuntu Server (minimized). It comes with most of the packages you need without being bloated. It will install faster too.
• Network Connections: If you have setup the VM to use a bridged adapter like instructed, you don’t really have to worry a lot. The installer will automatically detect the DHCP settings from your local network router and you just have to select DONE.
• Configure Proxy: If your system requires any http proxy to connect to the internet enter the proxy address, otherwise just select DONE.
• Configure Ubuntu archive mirror: Leave it as default. DONE.
• Guided Storage Configurations: We are going to utilize the entire storage space reserved for this VM and that's why we select Use the Entire Disk option.
• Storage Configuration: Leave it the standard storage configuration and select DONE. When prompted to confirm, don't worry. This will only use the VM disk, not your computer disk.
• Profile Setup: Enter your name, your server’s name, your username and password. This user will be your administrator user in the system (or sudo), so don't forget this password.
• Update to Ubuntu Pro: No. Skip for now.
• SSH setup: Select on Install OpenSSH server because that’s how you will connect to your server later.
• Featured Server Snaps: None of these packages are important now, just select DONE.
• Installing System: Now you have to wait for a few minutes for your system to install. You can "cheat" and speed up the install by skipping the downloading of updates, select Cancel update and Reboot when it appears at the bottom of the page, a few moments later. You can complete the updates after the first boot. After the installation is complete the system will reboot automatically.

Logging in for the first time

After the first reboot, it will show a black screen asking for the login. That's when you use that username and password you created during the install.
Note: the password will not show up, not even ***, just trust that is taking it in.
If you need to find out the IP address for the VM, just type in the console:
ip address
That will give you the inet, i.e., the ip address.

Remote access via SSH

If you are using windows download Putty and follow the instructions to connect.
If you are on Linux or MacOS, open a terminal and run the command:
ssh [email protected]_address
Enter your password
Voila! You have just accessed your system inside your private network.

You are now a sysadmin

Confirm that you can do administrative tasks by typing:
sudo apt update
Then:
sudo apt upgrade -y
Don't worry too much about the output and messages from these commands, but it should be clear whether they succeeded or not. (Reply to any prompts by taking the default option). These commands are how you force the installation of updates on an Ubuntu Linux system, and only an administrator can do them.
REBOOT
When a kernel update is identified in this first check for updates, this is one of the few occasions you will need to reboot your server, so go for it after the update is done:
sudo reboot now
Your server is now all set up and ready for the course!
Note that: * This server is now running but is not exposed to the Internet, i.e. other people will not be able to attempt to connect. We recommend you keep it that way. It is one thing to expose a server in the cloud, exposing your home network is another story. For your own security, don't do it.
To logout, type logout or exit.

When you are done

Just type:
sudo shutdown now
Or click on Force Shutdown

Some Other Options

• Install Linux on Windows with WSL
• Turn an old PC into a Linux server
• Install Ubuntu server on a Raspberry Pi
• Run Linux in a Docker container

Now you are ready to start the challenge. Day 1, here we go!

• Complementary video
• Previous "Day 0" threads

READ THIS FIRST! HOW THIS WORKS & FAQ

INTRO

First, you need a server. You can't really learn about administering a remote Linux server without having one of your own - so today we're going to buy one!
Through the magic of Linux and virtualization, it's now possible to get a small Internet server setup almost instantly - and at very low cost. Technically, what you'll be doing is creating and renting a VPS ("Virtual Private Server"). In a datacentre somewhere, a single physical server running Linux will be split into a dozen or more Virtual servers, using the KVM (Kernel-based Virtual Machine) feature that's been part of Linux since early 2007.
In addition to a hosting provider, we also need to choose which "flavour" of Linux to install on our server. If you're new to Linux then the range of "distributions" available can be confusing - but the latest LTS ("Long Term Support") version of Ubuntu Server is a popular choice, and what you'll need for this course.

Signing up with a VPS

Sign-up is immediate - just provide your email address and a password of your choosing and you're in! To be able to create a VM, however, you may need to provide your credit card information (or other information for billing) in the account section.

Comparison

Provider	Instance Type	vCPU	Memory	Storage	Price	Trial Credits
Digital Ocean	Basic Plan	1	1 GB	25 GB SSD	$6.00	$200 / 60 days
Linode	Nanode 1GB	1	1 GB	25 GB SSD	$5.00	$100 / 60 days
Vultr	Cloud Compute - Regular	1	1 GB	25 GB SSD	$5.00	$250 / 30 days

For more details: * Get started with Digital Ocean * Get started with Linode

Create a Virtual Machine

The process is basically the same for all these VPS, but here some step-by-steps:

VM with Digital Ocean (or Droplet)

• Choose "Manage, Droplets" from the left-hand sidebar. (a "droplet" is Digital Ocean's cute name for a server!)
• Click on Create > Droplet
• Choose Region: choose the one closes to you. Be aware that the pricing can change depending on the region.
• DataCenter: use the default (it will pick one for you)
• Choose an image: Select the image "Ubuntu" and opt for the latest LTS version
• Choose Size: Basic Plan (shared CPU) + Regular. Click the option with 1GB Mem / 1 CPU / 25GB SSD Disk
• Choose Authentication Method: choose "Password" and type a strong password for the root account.
• Note that since the server is on the Internet it will be under immediate attack from bots attempting to "brute force" the root password. Make it strong!
• Or, if you want to be safer, choose "SSH Key" and add a new public key that you created locally
• Choose a hostname because the default ones are pretty ugly.
• Create Droplet

VM with Linode (or Node)

• Click on Create Linode (a "linode" is Linode's cute name for a server)
• Choose an Distribution: Select the image "Ubuntu" and opt for the latest LTS version
• Choose Region: choose the one closest to you. Be aware that the pricing can change depending on the region.
• Linode Plan: Shared CPU + Nanode 1GB. This option has 1GB Mem / 1 CPU / 25GB SSD Disk
• Linode Label: Choose a hostname because the default ones are pretty ugly.
• Choose Authentication Method: on the "Root Password" and type a strong password for the root account.
• Note that since the server is on the Internet it will be under immediate attack from bots attempting to "brute force" the root password. Make it strong!
• And, if you want to be safer, click "Add An SSH Key" and add a new public key that you created locally
• Create Linode

VM with Vultr

• Choose "Products, Instances" from the left-hand sidebar. (no cute names)
• Click on Deploy Server
• Choose Server: Cloud Compute (Shared vCPU) + Intel Regular Performance
• Server Location: choose the one closest to you. Be aware that the pricing can change depending on the region.
• Server image: Select the image "Ubuntu" and opt for the latest LTS version
• Server Size: Click the option with 1GB Mem / 1 CPU / 25GB SSD Disk
• SSH Keys: click "Add New" and add a new public key that you created locally
• Note that since that there's no option to just authenticate with root password, you will need to create a SSH key.
• Server Hostname & Label: Choose a hostname for your server.
• Disable "Auto Backups" and "IPv6". They will not be required for the challenge and are only adding to the bill.
• Deploy Now

Logging in for the first time with console

We are going to access our server using SSH but, if for some reason you get stuck in that part, there is a way to access it using a console:

• Digital Ocean: Droplet Console
• Linode: LISH Console
• Vultr: Web Console

Remote access via SSH

You should see an "Public IPv4 address" entry for your server, this is its unique Internet IP address, and is how you'll connect to it via SSH (the Secure Shell protocol) - something we'll be covering in the first lesson.

• Digital Ocean: Click on Networking tab > Public Network > Public IPv4 Address
• Linode: Click on Network tab > IP Addresses > IPv4 - Public
• Vultr: Click on Settings tab > Public Network > Address

If you are using windows download Putty and follow the instructions to connect.
If you are on Linux or MacOS, open a terminal and run the command:
ssh [email protected]_address
Or, using the SSH private key, ssh -i private_key [email protected]_address
Enter your password
Voila! You have just accessed your server remotely.
In doubt, consult the complementary video

Creating a working admin account

We want to follow the Best Practice of not logging as "root" remotely, so we'll create an ordinary user account, but one with the power to "become root" as necessary, like this:
adduser snori74
usermod -a -G adm snori74
usermod -a -G sudo snori74
(Of course, replace 'snori74' with your name!)
This will be the account that you use to login and work with your server. It has been added to the 'adm' and 'sudo' groups, which on an Ubuntu system gives it access to read various logs and to "become root" as required via the sudo command.
To login using your new user, copy the SSH key from root.

You are now a sysadmin

Confirm that you can do administrative tasks by typing:
apt update
Then:
apt upgrade -y
Don't worry too much about the output and messages from these commands, but it should be clear whether they succeeded or not. (Reply to any prompts by taking the default option). These commands are how you force the installation of updates on an Ubuntu Linux system, and only an administrator can do them.
REBOOT
When a kernel update is identified in this first check for updates, this is one of the few occasions you will need to reboot your server, so go for it after the update is done:
reboot now
Your server is now all set up and ready for the course!
Note that: * This server is now running, and completely exposed to the whole of the Internet * You alone are responsible for managing it * You have just installed the latest updates, so it should be secure for now
To logout, type logout or exit.

When you are done

You should be safe running the VM during the month for the challenge, but you can Stop the instance at any point. It will continue to count to the bill, though.
When you no longer need the VM, Terminate/Destroy instance.
Now you are ready to start the challenge. Day 1, here we go!

Please use this thread to ask any questions you have about the game. Please search though the comments section as your question may have been answered already or through the search bar.

General Resources

• General Database - Good for seeing Stats of Students, Drop Rate, Raid Stats
• Gameplay Help Overview - Great for New Players
• Min-Turn Stage Guide - Text Version, Japanese Website
• Min-Turn Stage Guide - YouTube Video Version
• PvP Guide -
• Raid Guide - More in-depth description on each Raid's Mechanics
• Raid Character Guide - Recommended Students for each Raid
• Unique Equipment Guide - More detailed stats number for Equipment
• Upcoming Banners
• Student Skill Level Up Priority - More in-depth guide for Student's skill level up
• Midokuni's Student Insights - General Overview of Students
• Global Event
• Gameplay Overview (Legacy Content)
• Upcoming Banners (Legacy Content)

REMINDER: Bind your account!

Please remember to bind your accounts and take note of your UID, member code, server location, and any information related to your account (e.g. amount spent, student roster, etc). If anything happens to your account (e.g. losing access, unauthorized access), you will need to provide as much info as you can to Nexon's customer support email. Guest accounts that are unbound will be extremely difficult to recover, perhaps impossible.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

[01] When does the server reset?
For global, dailies reset at 19:00 UTC and weeklies reset on Sunday.
[02] Should I re-roll this account?
This will depend on your priorities with PvE, PvP, or both, but you can generally see the “ideal” units as Iori, Hibiki, and Tsubaki for most content, while Shun and Haruna are great for PvP.
[03] Who should I spend my elephs on? Who should I mystic unlock?
At the start, prioritize spending your blank elephs on getting Serina to 2-star for the increased healing stat, Tsubaki to 3-star for the extra tankiness when she is reloading. It is generally advised not to spend your elephs on increasing characters to 4-star and 5-star ratings, since there is only a stat increase and the amount of elephs needed is quite high.
[04] What do my support students’ stats do?
Aside from increasing the stats of their own skills, support students will provide additional stat boosts to your striker team. The specific increase(s) can be viewed by clicking on “Support” on the right side of the team formation screen.
[05] What should I buy in the shop?

• Credit Shop - Buy out the bottom row of materials, then the first two tiers of enhancement stones as needed. Feel free to buy the higher tiers of enhancement stones if you feel that you have an excess of credits, which is very common.
• Eligma - This will depend on you, can reference question [03].
• Total Assault (raid) - Prioritize Maki’s elephs (until you unlock her) and save the rest of your currency for future updates that will add more low-rarity students to the shop, meaning you can unlock mystic for them without spending your eligma. You can also purchase the skill discs/blu-rays depending on your needs.
• Tactical Challenge (PvP) - Buy out the energy drinks as needed (warning: they are instantly consumed, they won’t be moved to your inventory). Many suggest to save these for events in order to buy drinks, refresh the shop, and repeat.

[06] What does the “leader” position do?
This is purely cosmetic, as it changes which student’s chibi shows up on the map.
[07] What benefits are there to joining a club?

• 10 AP are given daily and deposited automatically on teacher's mailbox, upon checking in.
• A maximum of two assistant can be set for Total Assault and Joint Firing Drill respectively.

1. Students assigned to assist with TA cannot also be selected to assist with JFD.
2. 20 credits are rewarded every minute by setting assistants.
3. The specific unit that is borrowed can be only used once a day.
4. There's a fee of 40,000 credits, when borrowing a assistant student.
5. The donor receives 50,000 credits instead; even though the fee is 40,000 credits.
6. The fee can only be received 20 times a day.

• It can be unlocked after clearing Mission 3 Act 4

[08] How does the pity system work?
You need to pull, at a minimum, 200 times in order to get 200 recruitment points that are redeemed for the character you want. The recruitment point system does not carry over from banner to banner, it is only shared between banners that are concurrently running.
[09] Why can’t I find my friend’s club?
While the servers’ updates are separated from JP and global, the global servers are separated further into smaller divisions. You need to be on the same server as your friend, which you can check from the home screen: top-right menu button > account > version info. The server must be the same.
[10] When is X banner coming? Should I save for X student?
We never know for sure, due to the fact that global servers are on an accelerated schedule compared to JP. Please refer to this guide for some more info.
[11] Should I use Pyroxenes to refill my AP?
If you want to prioritize progression, the first three daily refills are decently valuable, this is because the Pyroxene cost of refilling will increase for every three refills. If you are focused on character collection or future banners, you should be saving your Pyroxenes.
[12] Why can’t I buy X student’s eleph in the shop?
You can only buy elephs of students you own.
[13] What should I craft?
At the start, prioritize crafting cafe furniture until your comfort is maxed out, then students’ gifts, then whichever upgrade materials you need. The crafting system is the only way to get furniture and gifts at the moment.
[14] What is the “Anniversary” in account settings?
This is your birthday, used for characters to wish you happy birthday.
[15] When will the beginner guide missions for Nonomi end?
This is a permanent addition, so feel free to take your time with the tasks.
[16] What is the best place to farm EXP?
You can run any map to farm EXP, as the EXP gain is equal to the amount of AP spent (i.e. 10 AP spent = 10 EXP gained). You should be looking at the stages that drop the equipment upgrade materials that you need.
[17] What is the “Secret Tech Sheet” in the Total Assault shop?
This is used to upgrade a student’s (non-EX) skill to level 10.
[18] Is it worth doing a raid if I can’t pass X difficulty level?
It is always more efficient to clear the highest difficulty you can finish instead of failing/forfeiting a higher difficulty.
[19] Can I claim the Limited Students through exchanging Expert Permits? How often does the Expert Permit shop resets?
You cannot get the limited students via this method. You will still need to pull for them. There's no specific mentioned but it's expected to be monthly.

OthePast Megathreads

• Daily Questions
• Weekly Club Recruitment
• Weekly Kivotos Lounge
• Weekly Storytelling Plaza
• Technical Issues

Please have patience with other members of the community and be as polite as possible. Everyone has to start somewhere!