3 days BKK 7 days Pattaya? Or 2 says BKK & 8 days Pattaya?
Please help give me some suggestions

Hello! Just arrived in Ko Phangan, and it's really rainy, and the weather forecast seems to be the same for the next days. How the weathers been before? Is there still hope ? Thanks

And ever since I updated it, the gallery I have can't move images to new folders
I don't know if I did something personally or is it my phone having issues? It's mainly trying to move stuff from internal to sd, I haven't tried internal to internal or sd to SD cuz I never do that to begin with on a regular day
Not sure what to do, checked perms and access and nothing seemed to work?? Is this just a "beyond Android 10 update" issue? I did try other galleries as well and nothing
Also I Did look up for help, on Google and yahoo and bing and none of them brought up anything

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"

After finally accepting the defeat of my first love, I decided to move on. Not to someone new just work on myself for a while. Idk I had no clue what I was doing at the time. I just knew that I needed time to be alone. Well, I ended up going to DC for a trip. Yeah the stupid government Close Up one. Anyways, I ended up meeting this guy there. Let's call him Mars.
We didn't meet on the first day, but rather the second. We talked, chatted, learned about each other. Stuff that you would talk to a stranger about since you think it's rude to end the convo. It wasn't until the second to last day that we actually started to hang out and get to know one another. He showed me pictures of his family and basically his whole life through his phone gallery. Mars seemed like a nice, genuine guy. So, my ass ended up liking him even though we barely knew each other for less than a week.
It was the last night before he would leave back to his state. I thought we would have time in the morning to hang out, but he was leaving at 5am. There was a dance and the two of us had fun. We left early and hung out in the student lounge where we would talk more. Eventually it was time to go back to our rooms, so he walked me to my floor and the two of us planned to to meet for breakfast before he left.
I woke up, got ready and headed down. He didn't come. I waited for 45 minutes before finally accepting that he wasn't coming. I went back to my room and cried. I know that it's pathetic for me to cry over a boy that I barely met. But, part of me just liked him more than anything else. After I was done silently crying next to my roomie, I had this itching feeling to go back to the lobby. So I cleaned up my ugly ass face, and headed down the stairs. There I saw two of the girls from his school taking down their luggage. One of the girls was struggling with her dufflebag, so I helped her with it. After she said thanks, I desperately tried to look for him. After searching for a good 10 minutes, I gave up. Hes not coming to meet me.
"What a fucking loser for lying to me like that."
Is what i was thinking at the time. I didn't want to go up to elevator since people would see me crying, so I went up the stairs. Once I got to my floor, I was about to open my room door, then again, I got that itching feeling. I went back to the stairs and I opened the door and there he was. He was there with his 2 bags, sweating, tired, looking like he just ran a mile.
"Sorry I woke up late. I rushed down hoping to see you before I left. Sorry for not eating breakfast with you."
After I had forgiven him, the two of us walked down to the lobby. Walking down those three floors felt like the fastest minute of my life. We hugged, he said goodbye, and he left.
I cried walking back to my room. I cried a lot that day. Even though we exchanged numbers, I knew it wasn't enough. When I left DC, I hoped that I would leave that part of me with it. But no, I guess my heart didn't work that way and instead I cried the entire flight home. I don't understand why. I barely met a guy that I immediately clicked with, fell in love with, but couldn't leave with. Maybe it's my stupid teenage heart, maybe it's my lack of understanding of what real love is, or maybe the fact that I was just so desperate to have someone love me. Whatever it is, all I know is that I'm glad that he made my trip to DC forever memorable.
To this day, we talk over the phone and share things that happen during our days. The only problem that I have right now with Mars is that I don't know where we stand. He has said "I love you" once or twice, but what does that mean? To be honest, I'm scared. I have no idea whether or not I can trust him, or if I should fully love him yet. Does this make me a bad person who isn't willing to commit to him? Even though we are over 2000 miles away from each other, I will continue to enjoy my days talking to him through this stupid little device.
Sorry that this is long. It's just I don't really have anyone I can fully share my love life with.

Our 10 year old daughter has close friends, does well in school, reads at a high level, does a variety of social activities and is capable of many things (art, music). But, she is increasingly angry, and has a tough time regulating this. It’s to the point where she’s the main focus of our day. We think it’s sensory issues related to food aversions (and resulting hunger) and possibly early puberty. (Due to breast development).
We’ve had her see a therapist a few times to explore an issue she has with extreme food aversions. The therapist thought that we should find a specialist to help with the food / sensory issues. That’s the main thing that seems unique about her. We’re trying, but having no luck finding that specialist yet. The pro didn’t think that she had add/adhd, or autism or anything like that. We explored a lot if possibilities for her behavior. Having said that, she tends to behave around people outside of her close family. We are returning in a few weeks, for a follow up: My daughter has grown oppositional to her parents. She is very sarcastic, and mocks us verbally. She often does this instead of listening, in order to get a rise out of us. She gets really caught up with a tantrum, before she calms down.
The best way that we’ve found to deal with this behavior is to just let the harsh part “burn out” and then be calm and talk with her. Because nothing else seems to have a positive result. If we tell her that her actions are bad, then she gets more frustrated, and takes it personally. So, we do pretty much what we’ve read in parenting books: stay calm as possible. Giving her attention helps the most. But, her tantrums are excessive and really west us out. It’s almost as if she has an insatiable thirst for attention. She’ll hurt her sibling and cause screaming in order to get it.
Since her psych visits — which she resisted and strongly disliked, but gradually got more accustomed to — she’s grown more angry. She gets out of control in the car, and hits her sibling. This is one of the worst aspects to us of her behavior. We do activities like biking and climbing, canoeing, geocaching, and she enjoys them. But, afterwards she is an irritable mess emotionally.
I just need some support from parents who’ve been in my shoes. She’s our first, and our younger daughter is much less emotionally overloaded towards us, and her. Our 10 year old takes a lot of emotional energy from us. Often stalls to stay up late. Nights are the worst.
Technology use: We don’t let her play video games for more than 30-60 min per day, and we take it away for a few days/ a week if she gets in a bad state. That helps. Video games often (but, not always) make her attitude worse. And, she loves them dearly. No internet access at all. Just an iPad, and restricted only for Procreate drawing.
The positive thing that helps me: I think that she’s young, and that now — with our support system that we have (friends, school, family) — I’m hoping that we can help her develop emotionally before she gets to middle/high school. That’s my way of staying upbeat about it. Better if I can help her sooner.
Thanks.

Overview

It's a fun day today, because today The Mane Six are going to be going up against 19 different Titan shifters to determin how would win.
​
https://preview.redd.it/xtfxnq4sxp4b1.png?width=1838&format=png&auto=webp&s=a3bf45b3eb1edd2aa372a857e7c8960adfa668a5
​
https://preview.redd.it/w05ip5qm0q4b1.jpg?width=350&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e3b217d39adcae3d0589af79556b198169ba211
Okay so how I'm going about this is I'm mainly focusing on the humans controling the Titans rather then the titans themselves. Also this is my personal opinion.

Round 1: Mane Six vs Armored Titan Reiner Braun.

So the first Titan the Mane Six will be facing off is Reiner Braun's Armored Titan.
Now when we first saw the Armored Titan it looked like an unstoppble killing machine, barraling through the wall, and shaking off canon shells like they were nothing. However later on we saw very clear, that under the right circumstances the Armored Titan can be broken.
When Eren, and Reiner first fought in Season 2 Eren realized that physcial punches wouldn't be very effective, so he switched to grappling moves, which ended up breaking Reiner's skin, and even ripping his arm off. Infact I have no doubt that had Bertholdt not interfeared with that dive bomb Eren would have won that fight. Also now that Eren can harden his fist, he's been absoultey dogging Reiner.
Reiner was also destroyed by Zeke's Beast Titan, and now there are weapons like Thunder Spears that can easily break the Armored Titan's armor.
Twilight's blast from her horn alone would be able to make a dent in Reiner's armor, sure in Season 1 she wasn't as powerful, but come Seasons 5-9, and she was on par with Celestia, and Luna. And there's no doubt that if she fought the Armored Titan when she was supercharged with all the Alicorn Magic like in the Season 4 finale she would absoultely obliterate Reiner.
Winner Mane Six

Round 2: Mane Six vs Cart Titan Pieck Finger

Now for Pieck. Now the Cart Titan is the smallest of the Nine Titans, but there are two adavangtes Pieck has, and that is speed, and intelligence.
Pieck has used her speed to help her fellow warriors mutiple times. Such as saving both Zeke, and Reiner from the Scouts.
Pieck is also able to do mutilpe consective transformations hundreds of times. This means she can eject her self out of her Titan, and then transform again.
Also she's usally equip with gun turrents and armor to help he fighting.
Despite this, and her intellegence I'm sure the Mane Six would figure out a way to defeat her and her Panzer Unit.
Winner Mane Six

Round 3: Mane Six vs Jaw Titan Marcel Gallaird.

Unfourtently we've only seen Marcel's Jaw Titan once when he along with the other warriors fought an enemy nation. Then he's eaten on their first night on Paradis.
What we do know about his personallity is that he was very kind and caring, and Reiner started acting that to basically cope with his guilt.
But because we haven't seen much of him in his Titan form I again have to give this to the Mane Six
Winner Mane Six

Round 4: Mane Six vs Jaw Titan Ymir.

Ymir was the first Jaw Titan we saw. Unlike other Jaw Titans Ymir didn't have any armor or hardening parts on her body. She was also overwhelmed by Pure Titans.
Winner Mane Six
​

Round 5: Mane Six vs Jaw Titan Porco Gallaird.

Now Porco's Jaw Titan is stronger, and faster then Ymir's Jaw Titan, and we've seen him in action the most, but Porco's problem is that he let's his emotions get the better of him, causing him to make rash descions, which is why for the fifth time in a row I have to say the Mane Six win again.
Winner Mane Six

Round 6: Mane Six vs Jaw Titan Falco Grice.

So Falco does have a few unique abilites such as being able to fly since he swallowed Zeke's spinal fluid giving him Beast Titan like abilites, but I don't think that would help him in a fight against the Elements of Harmony.
Winner Mane Six

Round 7: Mane six vs Female Titan Annie Leonhart.

Okay now this one. By god Annie was a beast. Not only was she a great fighter thanks to her father's traning. Not to mention her Titan is very powerful. As the Marley goverment said it's an all purpose Titan capable in every field. She was able to take out so many elite soldiers from the Scouts, and she's smart enough to wait, and bide her time before making her move. Sorry, but because of all of Annie's abilites I have to give the Mane Six their first loss.
Winner Female Titan

Round 8: Mane Six vs Beast Titan Tom Ksaver.

Tom Ksaver was the father that Grisha never was to Zeke, he inherited the Beast Titan and took the form of a bighorn sheep. Unfourtently his Beast Titan was not sutted for battle, and instead Ksaver mainly did research on the Titans for Marley. This battle is easy to figure out the outcome.
Winner Mane Six

Round 9: Mane Six vs Beast Titan Zeke Yeager.

Now Zeke was a much more capable Beast Titan then Tom. Not only did Zeke have long arms that allowed him to grab objects, and throw them long distances. Also since he had Royal Blood he could do things other Beast Titans couldn't do, such as creating Pure Titans by screaming.
Zeke is also very smart. Combinde that with all the debries being hurled at them, and you give the Mane Six a run for their money.
Winner Beast Titan Zeke Yeager.

Round 10: Mane Six vs Warhammer Titan Lara Tybur.

Okay so while the Warhammer Titan does have cool abilties such as creating spikes, and weapons, but also being able to remotley control the Titan by a crystal underground. Yes the Warhammer Titan has amazing abilites, but considering that Eren defeated easily defeated it, no doubt the Mane Six could too.
Winner Mane Six.

Round 11: Mane Six vs Attack Titan Eren Kruger.

Again we only see Kruger's Titan once, and we don't know what type of abiltes it had, but we can assume it had the same abiltes as all other Attack Titans, but these would not be enough to beat the Mane Six.
Winner Mane Six

Round 12: Mane Six vs Attack Titan Grisha Yeager.

Again we only know of two times that Grisha used the Attack Titan. Once to make it to the Walls, and once again to kill the Reiss Family, and steal the Founding Titan combing both it, and the Attack Titan. However I don't think this would help him as since he didn't have Royal Blood he couldn't acess the Founding Titans power. So he looses.
Winner Mane Six

Round 13: Mane Six vs Attack Titan Eren Yegaer.

When Eren first started as a Titan he was easily defeated by Annie's Female Titan, later after months of training he got better at fighting. But even though he gained hardning abiltes as well as the Warhammer Titan he would still loose.
Winner Mane Six

Round 14: Mane Six vs Colossal Titan Bertholdt Hoover.

The largest of the Nine Titans, The Colossal Titan is a powerhouse, being able to create a massive explosion upon transforming. However the Colossal Titan is slow, and is not suited for long term battles. It does have one ability though, and that is to shoot out jets of hot steam to act as a barrier. However this steam only comes from the musscles, If you attach ODM gear to bones you won't get blow away, but will get seriously burned. The problem with this, is that Bertholdt does not fall for the same trick twice, so if any of the Mane six tried to use this against him, he would likely remember what Armin did, and just swat them away with his massive arm.
Winner Colossal Titan Bertholdt Hoover

Round 15: Mane Six vs Colossal Titan Armin Arlert.

Armin has the same abiltes, and since he was the one to figure out that you needed to attach to the bones in order to not be blown away by the steam so he wouldn't fall for that trick. But Armin is a good boi, he's a bean. So there wouldn't even be a fight.
Winner No one, they'd become friends

Round 16: Mane Six vs Founding Titan Ymir Fritz.

Ymir Fritz is the OG Titan, having all the abilties of every Titan that ever existed. The Mane Six could not defeat something like that.
Winner Ymir Fritz

Round 17: Mane Six vs Founding Titan Karl Fritz.

This is the King who created the Walls, as well as the Vow Reouncing War basically meaning that the Founding Titan would not be used for war. Because of this he would not win.
Winner Mane Six

Round 18: Mane Six vs Founding Titan Uri Reiss.

We only saw him once, and it wasn't even a full transformation just a Partial one. But still he was bounded by Karl Fritz's will, meaning Uri did not have acess to the Founding Titan's full power.
Winner Mane Six

Round 19: Mane Six vs Founding Titan Freida Reiss.

Again we only see her once, where she fights and looses to Grisha's Attack Titan due to being bounded by the First King's Will not giving her access to the Founding Titan's full power.
Winner Mane Six

Round 20: Mane Six vs Founding Titan Eren Yeager.

The first person in over a hundred years to gain the full power of the Founding Titan. However since Eren's Founding Titan was really just a long skelteton like centepiede thing it would only take one blast from Twilight on his head to defeat him, even if he had full support from the Rumbling. So while it would be a hard fight, the Mane Six could still pull it off.
Winner Mane Six

Final Verdict

So after 20 rounds The Mane Six won 15, and the Titans won 4. The Mane Six, and Friendship and Magic once again triumphs.
​
Your Champions!

I recently inherited a piece of land with about 8 mature fruiting avocado trees. They are productive all year round and produce huge tasty avocado. Unfortunately my family cannot consume more than 10 avocados a week and yet 10-30 avocados fall per day. Sometimes even more. The result is a whole bunch of wasted avocados rotting away on the ground. I have no idea what to do with them. Even after giving away plenty to friends and relatives, way too many are still being wasted. I know there are companies that make oil and powder from the seeds and maybe I could supply these to them but I have no idea who they are or where to begin. Any advice?

I just had a bit of a revelation tonight. I have not been officially diagnosed yet but my gyno turned down doing a diagnostic lap because he feels it'll just confirm what he already knows based on my symptoms (I am still pushing for it for many reasons).
But until 2 years ago I had never heard of endometriosis. I have always had issues with my cycles. I always bled alot and would have to set an alarm for every couple hrs at night to change my supplies or I'd soak the bed, and I always had big clots - I thought that was just a heavy period. I would spend the first two days of my period in bed if I could because of the cramps and leg pain. Didn't occur to me that wasn't normal for all women. I would get intense pain that I would go to the ER for a few times a year that they would say was a ruptured ovarian cyst (they'd do ultrasounds, see nothing, give me painkillers and send me home). Ovulation was always uncomfortable, but now every month it feels like that, incredibly painful so now I think it was endo flares at ovulation, they were just more intermittent back then.
I thought I just had a bad immune system because every month I'd feel flu-ish, with fatigue and body aches and general ugh feelings - now that I track such things, I know it always starts 4 days before ovulation.
It wasn't just bad cycles. And yet now that I'm pretty sure I know what's going on, the fight begins to get treatment. They say 10% of women have endo - why is it so damn hard to recognize it or treat it?

We have an almost 8 month old black lab mix. He's high energy, he's a lab of course he is.
The problem is mutlifold. He will start barking at almost exactly 8:30 pm daily. And not stop. It's his poop bark. Fine we'll go outside for 10 minutes and nothing, until a single piece pops out. Quiet for 10 minutes.
We'll play a bit but he'll go from wanting to play fetch to tug of war. Then its like he gets his alternative programming from the motherland and the command is "All humans must die." He will start biting at me, not painful at first, nipping I guess. My hands and forearms are covered in bruises. It HURTS to wash my hands from the bruising.
I've hear "oh just shut down play when he does that." HOW!? If I stop and stay still he'll go for any baggy part of my clothing, fingers, arm, hoodie, my back, calves. Basically if his mouth will fit on it, he'll attack it.
He has a couple play sessions about 10-15 minutes each time daily. And the ones DURING the day he's usually fine at the end, he'll get bored and want to go to his area. The one later at night, he loses his fucking mind.
I've really had it with him. I physically cannot take any more of this.

Honeymoon suggestions needed! From: Arizona - we both have passports Time: March-April 2024 (TBD) Timeframe: 7-10 days Budget: contentious/flexible (5k arena would be ideal)
Fun facts for both: -we are both non drinkers -love trying new foods -obsessed with views and like exploring -would prefer less thinking/more inclusive but not afraid to plan ahead -only experience out of the country was a cruise to Mexico (loved it) -we have a goal to try and travel more
My lovely fiancé: Thrill seeker Loves to golf Doesn’t really like to laze too much
Me: Not much of a thrill seeker but as long as it’s ground level I’m open to things Loves a good beach Prefers relatively safer places (I have anxiety and would like to not stress the entire time)
Just starting to brainstorm but feeling overwhelmed by options! Any help is greatly appreciated!
Edit-sorry for the crappy formatting. It was very bullet pointy and I’m on mobile.

Hello! On our way home from the gym we noticed our AC was blowing warm air and the battery light was on. After testing the battery we figured it was the alternator. Now usually it’s easy to swap out an alternator but our car ~has~ to be difficult and have it behind the wheel (Mazda CX-9 2008) The car hasn’t died yet, I’m thinking we caught it just in time within the 10 miles we drove.
So my question…We both have work tomorrow (5 minute drive) and won’t be able to get into a shop until Wednesday next week. I was curious if it would be fine to charge the battery overnight and drive the 5 minutes to work for the next couple of days? Of course we want to get it fixed ASAP, but it wouldn’t be possible until Wednesday.
I was also curious on what price range to expect, I’m hoping to find a shop that quotes on the lower end.
Thanks in advance!

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This piece recounts the first time I drank an ancient plant medicine called Ayahuasca. It comes from Amazonian tribes who consider it a sacred plant medicine with healing powers and, given what a hugely beneficial impact it has had on my life, I am very comfortable describing it as medicine.
One Saturday, in the spring of 2016 I was greeted by the medicine man himself with a big hug, let’s call him Blu. I came into his kitchen to be greeted by several women with slightly comical homemade, feather headdresses and couldn’t help but think I’d walked into a kid’s birthday party. In the garden, there was a small festival tent set up which had a hay bale altar with easter decorations.
The ceremony had around 30 other participants and 10 shamans. In the middle of the tent stood the medicine man’s wife, Sun who was very much the master of the ceremony. She had the most daring headdress, flowing orange robes and a rattle in her hand. She spoke to us with warm, friendly humour telling us that we would know the medicine had kicked in once her singing started to sound good!
She advised that each experience is unique and we should try not to have huge expectations, sometimes nothing at all happens the first time. Having waited five years for this day I was quietly confident that this would not be the case for me and boy was I right!
We went around the circle introducing ourselves and explained what we were hoping to get out of the ceremony. Focusing on your intent during a psychedelic experience is meant to help you get what you are looking for.
During my turn, I expressed my desire to regain my self-confidence and passion for the opportunities and women in my life to whom I never seem to be able to fully commit.
Once we had all shared, we learned that it was time to drink.
My heart was filled with profound forbearing and excitement as I went up to receive a small glass of harsh-tasting, brown liquid which certainly tasted like medicine!
I had a basic camping mattress and a duvet laid out for me which I snuggled into before pulling on my eye mask. I was on my back trying not to think too much about the medicine, whether it was working or maybe wouldn’t work while I meditated for an hour.
The shamans started singing and shaking rattles. One of the female shamans, Nubia had an incredibly beautiful soprano voice that stood out from the others. It was while listening to the song of the shamans that I started to feel a warm flow of energy along my limbs. I tried to dismiss it at first, thinking it might somehow be related to my fasting for 40 hours prior.
When I moved my eye mask to let some light into my eyes I saw the tent roof overlaid with a flowing grid of beautiful, metallic, geometric grids with multi-coloured light flowing through the lines. The Individual elements of the grid reflected every colour of the rainbow like oil on water’s surface and I started to feel joyful, like a child rolling through leaves on a warm autumn day.
Nubia started singing to us again and it was like nothing I’d ever heard. It was so beautiful and mesmerizing I didn’t want her to stop.
I could hear the people around me, some giggling and some vomiting or, purging medicine into their buckets. I checked myself, asking if should I purge but I felt a gentle presence speak inside of me saying: ‘No, you’re fine. Just relax.’

They call this presence Mother Ayahuasca. The reason people drink the brew is to speak with and receive her guidance.

My eye mask was back on my face and I turned into the fetal position with the duvet pulled over my head I felt exceptionally comfy with this strange yet familiar presence as I started to explore the un-intimidating hallucinogenic world within my mind. She showed me complex pictures of flowing energy with multicoloured lights in perfect alignment while I was gently gliding along, watching the beautiful colourful spectacle.
It was around this time that Sun asked into the ceremony if anybody would like a second dose. I slowly sat upright and looked around. I checked myself. Truthfully, I was enjoying the experience. I was slightly nervous that having more could take me to a deeper, darker place however I had mentally prepared myself for the full immersion experience.
The presence told me: ‘It’s okay. You can handle it. I’ll be gentle.’
So I pulled on my shoes, got up and slowly walked over feeling slightly wobbly. I was worried Sun might tell me I’d had enough but when I sat in front of her, she gave me a big smile and beckoned me towards her. The second dose was about half the previous one and tasted familiar, not quite as harsh.
After I got up I walked out of the tent into the house. Sitting in the small toilet I saw the walls gently rippling with energy and recognized the phenomenon from previous psychedelic experiences. I’ve experienced mild, LSD-induced hallucinations before but nothing quite as mesmerizing as watching bright sparks of colorful energy emerging from objects and pictures.
Snuggling back under my duvet I listened to the rattles and felt myself floating deeper into the kaleidoscopic universe seeing my own body curled up but instead of my skin and flesh, I saw myself as streaming veins of energy. Millions of thin fibre optic threads pulsated with warm healing energy which outlined my body.
I felt myself lying on the floor in the jungle with mystical symbols and ineffable tribal figures around me. I felt like I was in a different, timeless dimension however I was surprisingly lucid and could snap out of it to check myself with ease. At some point I had to giggle as my boring pragmatist made the smart-ass remark, ‘You’re not lying in the jungle. You’re in a garden less than 100 meters from the Thames estuary!’
I had my eyes closed for most of the afternoon. I was seeing ever richer patterns. When I opened my eyes the patterns were still there but they were overlaid on the reality in front of my eyes. I could change them with the blink of an eye or bring back shapes I had seen previously.
I started thanking this entity for showing me all this beauty and felt the urge to reciprocate. I revealed some personal memories but they looked so very different. It seemed like they had a photo filter applied that filled the memory with golden light as they came alive with breathtaking beauty, streaming with colourful energy. I visited various life moments and it felt like entering into a photo and suddenly being there on that day!
I was there sitting in our garden at home. Once again I was a chubby baby covering my face with baked beans. I was actually there! I was picking the baked beans off my face and pushing them, one by one into my mouth.
They say that Mother Ayahuasca is a deep ancient spirit and I always imagined her as a deeply serious, majestic queen. I started wondering what she might look like… and so she appeared.
She was stern but not an old woman. Aya was young, perfectly matched to my age and exceptionally beautiful. She had long, smooth brown hair and big beautiful eyes filled with power and inspiration. As I looked closer at her exquisite face I realized that her features were constantly changing complexion. Her skin cycled from Amazonian to Latin to Nubian to Oriental and Mediterranean. She was outlined by swirling rainbow-coloured curls of light. The rest of her naked body only came into being when I directly looked at it. I realize that she was not one woman but a combination of every beautiful woman I’ve ever felt attracted to. I wanted her. She wanted me. We kissed and whirled around as we floated through my Entheoverse. My body of swirling rainbow energy flowed into her and hers into mine and this is how we made love passionately.
I had visions of us being on a summer weekend getaway in a stylish city. We lay in luxurious hotel rooms and I remember a cream-coloured clock on the wall, with Roman numerals but no hands to tell the time. I was dressed smartly as I led her by her hand into classy restaurants that had champagne poured, waiting by our table. It was like we were on a never-ending date, teleporting from one experience into the next, eloping while taking our time to enjoy each other’s energy, and passionately loving one another.
Afterwards, she lay in my arms and I asked what else she could show me and she replied; ‘What else would you like me to show you?’ I wasn’t prepared for this and my mind went a bit blank realizing that I could do anything, go anywhere in space and time I wanted.
I asked her; ‘Can you help me find my confidence?’
There was no clear answer. Instead, I had the random idea to become the temple stem of my friend Julio’s glasses. I looked at him from the bit next to the hinge and I could see him put the glasses on in the morning, and take them off at night and in the reflection of his right eye, I saw him coming home and watched his beautiful daughter jumping into his arms. Then I saw on his eyeball the reflection of me walking into the room and a felt warm glow spread through me.
Next, I visited my baby nephew sitting in my brother’s living room, in his red chair. I crossed my hands on my chest like he does and saw my brother and his wife smiling at me giving me warm hugs but more than seeing their faces while they hugged my body I could feel the way they felt when they put their arms around me and press me to their chests.
I saw all my brother’s smiles and happy faces as we jollied about, trying to make each other laugh as we do. I visited all my closest friends, took in their smiles and one by one, as I hugged each of them, I could feel their love for me.

Later I realized that Aya was indeed trying to give me confidence by showing me how much the people in my life care for me

I visited the girl I had just started dating called Anna whose raw energy I find simply irresistible. I came into her new apartment that I’d never visited before. She was standing in sexy lingerie by a floor-to-ceiling window looking down onto the busy Tottenham Court road. I remember her turning her beautiful face as I approached, touching it with ten fingers and kissing her lips passionately as we erupted into rainbow swirls of energy.
I also visited my ex-girlfriend Jo, whose body and spiritual mind I still loved but whose soul is too damaged by the fear of rejection and tough mental armour I never managed to vanquish.
She was asleep in our white room in LA that she had so carefully decorated and I spooned my energy into her little body. She woke and we cuddled and kissed and I said I was sorry it didn’t work out between us and she replied; ‘It’s ok. I wasn’t ready for you…’
I asked Aya if we had made the right decision to stop forcing it and just be friends and felt her nod wisely.
At some point, I remember all three of us lying in bed together but instead of feeling like the king of the world, I felt like a greedy pig.
One of the underlying themes of the whole journey was how slowly gently and unhurried everything felt and I think the lesson I was meant to learn was that it’s ok to not settle right now — I thought I just haven’t found the one, the right woman to share my life with…
Aya kept giving me gentle advice throughout. I asked her about the stimulants I love such as cannabis, coffee and alcohol but instead of the stern telling-off I was secretly hoping to receive she told me; ‘You know they don’t serve you when you abuse them but they are also a part of what shaped you… Take care of the beautiful body you have been given.’
She repeated many times; Take care of yourself more… take care.
I asked Aya how I could find the power to harness my mind which has always been blessed and cursed with a distracting imagination and to keep my lack of attention from killing my dreams.
Instantly, I saw an unreal version of myself.
I was standing in something like a black shiny display window, straight out of a Mercedes advert. This guy was not merely a little bit better than I am now and I realized that the version staring back at me was my best self!
That guy is sharp, he is determined, and he dresses immaculately. That guy knows exactly what he is doing. When he enters the room, people notice his presence from the invisible halo that brightly surrounds him.
I asked Aya, how I could become him and the answer became clear. That guy works. He knows exactly where his energy comes from and all of a sudden I understood — The confident image he projects comes from the love he feels for himself which makes him look loved and successful in other people’s eyes. There is no room for distraction because that guy knows his worth and knows his purpose.
She gave me such a clear image of myself. I can still see myself standing motionless in the black, shiny shop window with rainbow-coloured fibre optic strains lighting the air that gently flowed around me.
How long I lay like that is impossible to say but I guess it was around 5–6 hours but it felt like an eternity of journeying into myself.
But it wasn’t all just warm energy and neon colours. I distinctly remember at some point realizing, it was time to go to the toilet. Afterwards, I walked back into the garden and found the Ewok-faced little terrier yapping at me. I laughed at him as I noticed the blue silver and chrome energy swirls around his head and ears. I couched down to see if I could pacify him but I suddenly became aware that his barking must be interfering with other people’s experiences. I turned to hurry into the tent as one of the shamans came out, to tell off the dog saying; ‘What’s wrong doggy, he’s alright!’ As I walked into the tent there were certainly more people sitting upright than when I had left and I read some irritated expressions on people’s faces, at least three people got up and walked out.
I lay down in shame but all my friend’s energy avatars ran up to me saying ‘It’s fine!’ as they doggy piled on top of me. It made me feel better. I felt them warm the cold shame out of me and I began relaxing again. I played around as before but the energy had markedly changed, it didn’t feel as light-hearted anymore. It was heavier and more serious. I was feeling the effects of the medicine becoming even stronger so I decided to sit up but when I opened my eyes, I saw Nubia hit the deck at my feet on a hastily arranged bed after having just purged into a bucket. I could see vomit in her black wavy hair as I started to think, ‘…oh dear if even the shamans are starting to falter, I’m in trouble.’
I didn’t know what to do. I tried to lie back down again. I asked Aya to help me, as she had several times previously when I’d gotten a little bit frightened but this time I could not sense her presence and I knew why. I had to go through this for myself.
It felt like I was sitting in a shopping trolley, rolling down a steep hill toward darkness, realizing as it picked up speed and bucked to and fro that this had been a bad decision, a dangerous idea and the only way it would end would be for the momentum to collide with suffering.
I needed help so I weakly put up my hand and within a few seconds, one of the shamans sat down next to me. She was wearing a white feather dress and occoured to me like an angel. She helped me sit up and as soon as I was sitting upright I began to retch. She passed me my bucket which I gratefully barfed into…
After I purged I felt better. My angel asked me if I felt okay again and I asked her to stay with me and hold my hand for a while longer, which she did. I gently leaned over and rested my head on her feathery bosom and felt a sense of peace and strength flow back into me. I saw my energy self, the swirling electrons of light curling my limbs as I sat cross-legged, hunched over like a bear cub being cradled by his mother bear.
She helped me lie back down and I started to return to my technicoloured dream state. I asked Aya if we could make love again and she said ‘Of course’ but it felt different, when I opened my inner eye to see the face of the person I was entangled with I saw my own. Aya had taken on my form and this might well be the strangest thing I’ve ever written but I was exceptionally attracted to myself and I realized that this could be how girls who are in bed with me see me. I could feel the burning desire a girl feels when we make love. It felt strange but also good.

They said Ayahuasca show you not what you want to see but rather what you need to see at any specific point in your life.

I visited countless friends, some people no longer in my life becouse we have grown apart and even those whose who have passed away. I visited my German grandparents and told them how much I loved them.
While I cuddled Oskar, the dog I grew up with, and played with him in our garden I looked up to see my dad approach us with tears in his eyes. I knew what he was going to say. When he told me that my grandmother had died I didn’t run away in confusion as I had on that day, instead, I went to hug my mom and for the first time, I empathized with the pain she had felt in that moment of hearing that her mother had passed.
I visited my friend Keith whose passing I have always felt a slight responsibility for since I know he read my travel blog and went to Costa Rica a month after I’d been there where he swam out to sea and drowned. I hugged him tightly and cried gently but he grabbed me firmly by the shoulders and said; ‘It wasn’t you! It wasn’t you…’
I visited my old school friend Alex who I had not been close to but whose misfortune to be on flight 447 still touched me. I told him and his beautiful fiance whom I’d never met that I was so sorry for them having been so frightened when they died but instead of me comforting them, they hugged and comforted me as I lay there silently crying for the people I missed. But it was not painful. Quite the opposite, it felt cathartic, like I was letting out the pain and healing myself.
At some point, while it was still light out Sun said “OK, I know that some of you are still on your journey but we will start having some food soon so if you want to share what you experienced now is the time.” I listened to some of the reports.
Several people said that they had a very rough ride because they had tried to fight it. One girl even said she was convinced she was dying. I felt very lucky and grateful for my gentle, warm ride through my multi-coloured Enthenoverse and wondered if I would ever return…
When it was my turn I said that I had finally been able to see how my friends and family see me and why they think I am awesome which will give me the confidence to finally believe that I am awesome (that got a laugh :). I also shared my new appreciation for how profoundly beautiful my life has been up until now and hoped that it will give me the strength to stop comparing myself to others, to focus on my own path and become my best self.

10 weeks later

My life has undeniably changed over the last 10 weeks.
The following day I drove back to my rented shepherd’s hut in a nature reserve and had an exceptionally rich experience walking through the marshes. The sun was shining and everything seemed so intensely beautiful. I was moved just by watching something as simple as a male and a female bird fly across the water in perfect sync. It made me well up emotionally.
I’ve cried a lot recently and I believe it’s a good thing. I cry on most days.
Usually, it happens when I see someone doing something kind and for a brief moment I get overwhelmed and shed a tear. But again, they are not tears of pain they are usually tears of joy and I feel like I have become much more in touch with my emotions.
It feels like bringing Aya’s female spirit into my awareness has tripped a switch in my brain making me more feminine, hence a more complete human being. I’ve also started to care more about my appearance. My mum commented recently that I looked different and she is right. I’ve been working out more. I get my hair cut more frequently and I’ve even gone and bought new clothes that dress me with more style, even when it’s not particularly necessary.
My work attitude has also changed. I find myself a lot more productive and capable of operating at a higher level while enjoying the entire experience so much more!
I honestly feel more in control of my life. I feel focused on who I am, who I can become and what I can achieve. Previously my decisions in life seemed more vague and fuzzy.
Above all, I feel the happiest that I have felt since childhood. The last 10 weeks have been almost like a too-good-to-be-true dream for me.
I’m also positively influencing the people around me. My grandfather wrote me the following sentence after my most recent visit.
You have this mysterious gift of raising the spirits of people both just by being there and by your gift of empathy.

Epilogue

I have indeed had more Ayahuasca ceremonies since I first wrote this and even though there was a 4 year gap between my 4th and my 5th experience I have felt the effect compound over time. I will be publishing more of my trip reports over on medium and would appreciate your supporting me by following me over there where I also publish contant whihc is not just psychedilic in nature. https://medium.com/@hi_niels