Places to stay lava hot springs

My parents - especially my mother - never showed any interest in her children. Any older children for that matter. From a certain age on, she looses all interest in children. However, she calls herself "baby crazy" and she is. She constantly wants to cuddle and hold baby's, wants to make thousands and thousands of photos of her grandkids (my brothers children, 5m and 4f). It is not unsualy that we get up to 30 or 40 pictures of my niece and nephew in our family group chat. My parents don't work since the mid 90s and live off benefits from the government. But she has a huge reborn collections, dolls that are made to look like newborn baby's. One can be a couple hundred euros. She really is baby crazy.
As far as I can remember, my parents raised us without any empathy, warmth or genuineness. They never asked how we are and as teenagers we did discuss it with them. Told them we want some more attention. Their answer: "So we have to ask you ever day how your day was?" as if it was so bothersome. When I moved out to study in a different city they never asked how it goes and never visited, except for when they had business in that city and needed to stay with me so they didn't have to pay for accommodation. When my younger sister was born, I was 13 years old and noticed, how warm and sweet she was with her baby. Not with us tho. It broke my heart hearing her say "I love you" to my baby sister but not me. Now my sister is 18 and hasn't heard "I love you" for a long time. This pattern continued with her grandkids. She adores them but ignores her adult children. Now, since my nephew is 5, my parents pride themselves with the fact that they can give the 5 year old a switch, mobile phone or any other electronic device and he sits on the couch and doesn't bother them. I find it sad tbh. It already started that they are uninterested in him. Last week it escalated and I argued with my mother. Mostly about my pregnancy but also about their lack of interest in their children from a certain age in. Her repsonse: "If we really were uninterested in our children from 6 years old, we would've put all of you up for adoption when you were 6." Two of her coping mechanism with critique is excuses or vastly exaggerating the issue to make it look ridiculous. It's really frustrating to have an adult discussion with her (Btw my father is the quite type, never argues but always stands behind my mother).
The problem: I (30f) am 38 weeks pregnant now. During my whole pregnancy she never asked how I am. Never asked how the baby was, which is not surprising. But now, she has demands. She demands - not even wants but demands - lots of pictures of my baby (not me or my husband, but my baby) because she already bought a photo album to put them all in. The same album she has for her other grandkids. It reads "my grandkids" on the cover. So it's only for her, not a memory that she can give to us when it's full. The issue I have here is that her only goal with these pictures is to post them online or show them (offline) to friends and family. My brother told me that she already promised lots of people these pictures. I assume she does all this to show what a great grandma she is. Her whole Facebook page is full of "best grandma" or "proud grandma" posts. What makes me believe that this whole situation is only for her benefit is connected to her lack of interest. To this day, she didn't even ask for the baby's name. Never. She only knows it because my sister slipped when she visited them. I am not mad at her for that. My parents are totally allowed to know the name but they simply never asked. So basically she isn't even interested to know my baby's name but wants hundred pictures to show them around? Doesn't make any sense to me.
In addition, she has no empathy for our wishes. For instance, my husband and I don't want naked photos taken of our baby. She does send us naked pictures of my niece and nephew and children of the extended family I never even met. So this has been an issue. Usually they are in the bathtub or relaxing after swimming in the pool. We did say we feel uncomfortable but her excuse: naked baby photos are totally okay because they are still small. My husband and I believe otherwise. But she is unwilling to compromise.
Some of the other issues I have and her response to my confrontation: - I told her she never asked how the baby is or how I am coping with the pregnancy. Her repsonse: when she was younger it was custom that the child informs the parent of any news in their life's. And since she was raised that way, she is not gonna change. - I told her she has to change since the world is constantly changing. She can't keep staying in the past. The world will never adapt to her. Her response: she is already 54 and can't change that easily, it would require her whole life to change. And, according to her, I wouldn't change either when I am 54. I doubt that. - she asked us if she can make prints of our baby's hands and feet when she comes to visit. My problem: she takes these moments away from us - the actual parents. I would like to do these things myself. - concerning visitation: my parents never asked us when they could come to visit. I am due June 22nd and honestly was hoping that they couldn't afford the trip, since they cannot stay with us and would need a hotel. But last week, they told us that they would like to come around July 17th for 4-5 days. They didn't really ask but told us, that this would be the best time for them. When I told them we have lots of things to do in July (new baby, becoming a small family, moving to a different apartment which my parents also know of) and we would welcome them in August, she lost it. They couldn't come I'm August because A) they have "so many" appointments in August and she thought, even tho we are moving, a few days for us to spare would surely work. And b) the baby would already be "too big" in August and I would rob her of these precious weeks when the baby is so small. Time she will never get back. And after all, I probably already would have had 2-3 weeks with my baby already after birth (as if she decides what's enough time for me and my baby). - she said that she thought the time when we plan to move would be perfect for a visit anyway since she can take the baby for the day while my husband and I do the moving or do household chores. I hate people who think that the best help for a young mother is to take her baby away from her so that she can "finally focus on household chores" wtf? - I am SO stressed thinking all she comes for is my baby. She has no interest in seeing me or my husband and said "I already know you two and now I want to get to know the baby". Reminder: she never even asked for the baby's name! But wants to "get to know her"?? How does that make any sense? - She told us she only wants to visit if she can hold, cuddle and kiss the baby. And she was livid when we told her we decide when she can hold the baby. I don't want them to hold my baby just because they are here. I want them to have a genuine interest in our live and our baby. Also I would like my baby to sleep in piece but I am sure she will take it anyway since she repeatedly said "we will only be there for a couple of days and wanna make the most of it". She also said "You can have it back when we are gone" and, what bothered me the most "The baby will belong to you once we are gone". As if it doesn't belong to me while they are here? My husband and I want to habe full control over who holds the baby at what time. For instance I want it back when it's time for breastfeeding but I know she will not easily give it back.
Early on in the pregnancy I knew it would come to that. A necessary discussion about setting boundaries. And it stressed me out so much. So we tried to compromise. We set a visitation date at the end of July (not August) and put some boundaries in place: only holding the baby when asked or if we give it to her, no pictures taken unasked, no hand or footprints taken unasked, if they want information about the baby, they need to come to us not the other way around.
She didn't accept any of these. We always told her we would like for them to come but we want them to respect our boundaries. To no avail. She won't compromise and uses the uni reverse card saying "Well, if you don't want us to be there..." which we never said. Yesterday my husband asked her one final time is they come to visit end of July. She said she would love to but can't due to the collision of "our and your requirements". As if she is entitled to requirements about my baby! My husband then asked what her requirements were and she said: unlimited and unrestricted access to pictures and cuddles/kisses. She said it would "break her heart" to hear us say no to photos, if the baby has a cute moment. Smiling for instance. A moment that he will never get back because she will only be here for a couple of days. And won't see the baby for months after that. But we all know that they won't give a firetruck about my baby once they are gone, once the baby is "too old" in there opinion.
This made me so mad. She really things she is entitled to everything concerning my baby. Everything that would proof what a "great/proud grandma" she is. I am so mad that she chooses pictures of my baby over seeing us. She would rather not come - out of spite - than to come and meet her grandchild. I am sure this relationship will not heal from that. I am sure that in the future I will always get to hear "Back then you didn't allow us to come..." etc. So I figured goof long contact might be the best solution for my little family and me.

Hey everybody, I’m planning on making a trip out to Toronto by the end of this year or the beginning of next year. I wanted to see if anyone would like to become friends (I’m in my early 20s, male) so I don’t come completely lost and know my why around lol also would like to hear any places I should visit while in Toronto or any hacks when it comes to traveling, shopping, choosing place to stay at etc.

Hello!
I'm curious what other teachers experiences has been with choosing between these two options, as I consider two different job offers.
There is definitely some appeal to substitute teaching in a big city with a big school board. Time counts towards my permanent certificate. I would get experience teaching in different environments. With less marking and planning, my evenings and weekends would be free to pursue personal art projects. Also, putting time in the sub list would let me apply internally to other teaching postings the district and I could slowly work my way towards a full time teaching position in the city.
The counter to this argument is I have been offered a probationary contact in a very popular tourist town (Bow Valley area) only an hour(ish) drive from the big city. I realize this is a rare opportunity to teach in a unique place in the one of the most beautiful places in the world, but I feel held back by the different art/music projects I would be leaving. My plan was to stay involved and commute on the weekends. I would keep up performing in the city on Friday/Saturday nights. My one friend who lives in the town has told me I will despise the commute and stop after a month. I'm not so sure I share his pessimism, but I wanted to some perspective from others. Thanks!

Everyone's ready to get to the conference season. It's entirely possible some people were overlooking the final non-conference game. Would focus be a problem? Who would get through with the momentum? And would the games played today matter when the Selection Committee gathered? Let's find out.
*****
#1 UCLA 87, #25 Illinois 74. It's been a long road through a lot of difficult teams, but UCLA did what they set out to do: repeat a 12-0 start.
Bill Walton had 20 points, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was two blocks shy of a triple-double, and the Bruins (12-0) took out the Illini (9-3) to run their winning streak to 49 and finish non-conference's play undefeated for the second consecutive year.
"We look at every game as important," Bruins coach John Wooden said after the game. "We're not about to slack off, and we're not about to take our focus down at all. Illinois is just as important as Kentucky to us."
For a while, the Illini road the hot hand of Derek Harper to stay with their foes. Harper had 14 points by halftime as the teams entered the locker room deadlocked at 43. However, Reggie Miller's defense kept Harper out of the scoring column in the second half and provided the difference.
"It's a 40-minute game, and I wasn't there for 40 minutes," Harper said.
#3 Kentucky 67, #8 Michigan 58. If UCLA is the undisputed #1, could Kentucky be the undisputed #2? Voters can be weird, but we'll see.
Cliff Hagan led all scorers with 15 points as the Wildcats (11-1) ended their non-conference schedule in style with a win over the Wolverines (9-3), who had been hoping for their second Super Five scalp of the season.
"I think this shows we still have room for improvement," Michigan coach John Beilein said after the game. "We need to make some adjustments before Big Ten play, but I think we can find them and do something with them."
Kentucky's starters, other than Hagan, struggled during the game. Dan Issel was held by Chris Webber to a mere 5 points on the night. But the Blue Line -- Kentucky's "second starters" as coach Adolph Rupp calls them -- came through in the clutch, as Jamal Mashburn had 12 points to spur an 11-3 run that put Kentucky up for good.
"It's a good luxury to have 10 starters," Rupp joked.
#4 Duke 72, #15 Southern Cal 68. In the NIBL postseason, you survive and advance. Duke is getting ready for that mentality early.
Elton Brand's 16 points and 11 rebounds led the way as the Blue Devils (10-2) held off the Trojans (9-3), who finished non-conference play 0-3 against the Super Five and 9-0 against everyone else.
"What that tells me is that we can be a 2 or 3 seed, and that the Sweet Sixteen is good, but it also says we have work to do to compete for the big prize," coach Sam Barry said when asked about the unusual split. "We'll have time to work on our game, we'll face UCLA a couple times... I hope we can improve over the course of the season."
Duke, meanwhile, enters ACC play with two close wins after a loss to Michigan. Coach Mike Krzyzewski isn't worried, though. "We'll be ready," he said to reporters. "We've played tough teams, and we're a tough team."
DeMar DeRozan led the Trojans with 15 points.
#5 Kansas 77, #9 Notre Dame 65. Notre Dame had been overachieving throughout the non-conference season. It had to come to an end with a reality check.
Paul Pierce took over in the second half, getting a personal 8-0 run as part of his 24 point outburst as the Jayhawks (10-2) knocked off the Fighting Irish (9-3) to enter Big XII play with momentum.
With the score tied at 55, Pierce hit a three-point jumper to give Kansas the lead. A steal by JoJo White followed, and White fed Pierce for a dunk to extend the lead to five. After an Adrian Dantley miss, Pierce drove the lane and got the layup plus a foul on Bill Laimbeer, completing the three-point play to give Kansas a lead they wouldn't give back.
"It's like my man [Kevin Garnett] says, anything is possible. We feel we can win it all, man," Pierce said after the game. "If Wilt [Chamberlain] is having a bad day, I can step up, Joel [Embiid] can step up, JoJo [White] can step up... we got options!"
Austin Carr led the Irish with 15 points.
#16 Maryland 71, #17 DePaul 66. George Mikan was rested and ready to go. Unfortunately, so was Len Bias.
Bias scored 22 points to lead all scorers and outduel Mikan (20 points) as the Terrapins (9-3) defeated the Blue Demons (8-4) in the final non-conference game for both teams.
"Len is our spark plug," coach Gary Williams said after the game. "When he gets an open floor, he's hard to beat. We're glad to have him on our team."
Mikan, who played sparingly in the previous game against Rhode Island, was a monster underneath in the halfcourt set. He went 9-13 from the field (2-2 from the line) and added 14 rebounds and 5 blocks. However, Bias was able to get around Mikan on multiple occasions for dunks, and sixth man John Lucas II made a critical three to provide the final score.
"They're good," Mikan admitted. "We're going to take these lessons and prep for the Big East."
#14 Arizona 90, #7 Syracuse 53. When the week began, Syracuse was 8-1 and looked like they could compete with the two Super Five teams in the ACC. Now, questions abound.
Jason Terry and Richard Jefferson each had 25 points as the Wildcats (9-3) sent the Orange (8-4) to their third straight defeat, all against Top 25 competition -- and all against the Pac-12.
"We're not taking anyone lightly," coach Jim Boeheim insisted. "The Pac-12 is a powerful conference. We just had a bad week. We're going to be drilling extra hard in practice to prepare for the ACC season."
Syracuse used their usual 2-3 zone, which discourages going inside and dares three-point shooters to hit their shots. But Terry and Jefferson did that, leading a barrage (with help from Mike Bibby and Steve Kerr) of 15-27 shooting from long-range.
"We just didn't miss," Jefferson said, amused. "We were all dialed in. Heat checks were going in. Everything worked."
Louisville 72, #22 Florida 59. It looks like Florida's stay in the Top 25 won't be repeated.
Donovan Mitchell had 19 points and 6 assists as the Cardinals (9-3) upset the Gators (8-4) to make a statement about their place in the ACC pecking order... and perhaps the Top 25 itself.
"Oh, we definitely belong," Mitchell said when asked. "You look at how we started the year, you look at who we beat; we deserve the recognition that teams like Duke and [North] Carolina do. ACC ain't all about Tobacco Road."
Gators coach Billy Donovan was disappointed in his team's effort. "We're capable of playing better, especially when we get the looks we got today," he said. "You can't do that against teams like Kentucky and Tennessee and expect to get away with it."
Bradley Beal led the Gators with 14 points.
Houston 80, #23 Iowa 67. Rumors of Houston's demise appear to be exaggerated. Iowa, meanwhile, may not be as strong as they looked.
Hakeem Olajuwon went for 21 points, 14 rebounds, 4 blocks, and 4 steals as the Cougars (9-3) jumped out to a 20-point lead by halftime and held on to beat the Hawkeyes (8-4) in the final non-conference game for both teams.
"Now that's more like it," coach Guy Lewis said of Olajuwon's performance. "We're a dangerous team when we click on all cylinders, and Hakeem is a big cylinder. We look ready for Big XII play now."
"We dug ourselves too deep of a hole," Hawkeye forward Connie Hawkins said after the game. "We need to start better and we need to finish better."
California 83, #20 Minnesota 75. The Pac-12 hopes to get more than three bids this season. If it's going to happen, teams like California have to step up the way they did today.
Jason Kidd had 17 points and Shareef Abdur-Rahim had 11 with 6 blocks as the Golden Bears (9-3) took out the Golden Gophers (8-4) in a battle of "golden" teams in the Big 10-Pac 12 rivalry.
"I love how Jason plays," Bears coach Pete Newell said after the game. "But I'm really proud of the progress Shareef has made. Today he dominated the paint on defense, and that's how we were able to get the W."
With Cal up 4 and a minute to go, Abdur-Rahim blocked a Mychal Thompson layup attempt. The scramble went to Archie Clark, who found Kevin McHale underneath. However, Abdur-Rahim blocked the dunk attempt, and Kevin Johnson ran the ball out to get fouled and begin the march to the free throw line.
"Everyone had a good game, and we had a good game," Johnson said.
*****
#24 UNLV 70, Princeton 66. In the mid-major non-conference game of the season, it was thought that Princeton's best chance was to keep UNLV from making it a full-court game. Add some three-pointers, and they could steal a win.
That's almost what happened. But talent won out in the end.
Shawn Marion led all scorers with 17 points as the Runnin' Rebels (8-4) held off the Tigers (7-5) in a game between two of the top mid-majors in the country.
"You gotta give them a ton of credit," coach Jerry Tarkanian said after the game. "Princeton is a team that doesn't lose easily. They're going to be a tough out down the line if, no, when they make the Dance."
With both teams trying to play at their more comfortable pace -- Princeton's average possession was about nine seconds longer than UNLV's -- it was play underneath that kept the Tigers alive. Bill Bradley and John Hummer each had 17 points as Sidney Green was unable to keep up defensively. But in the final seconds, Larry Johnson and Armen Gilliam denied inbound passes, forcing Brian Taylor to put up a three-pointer. It missed, and Reggie Theus' two free throws made the final score.
"So close and yet so far," Bradley told reporters.
*****
HOW THE TOP 25 FARED

1. UCLA 87, 25. Illinois 74
2. North Carolina 95, Arkansas 64
3. Kentucky 67, 8. Michigan 58
4. Duke 72, 15. Southern Cal 68
5. Kansas 77, 9. Notre Dame 65
6. Michigan State 108, Saint Louis 58
7. Syracuse 53, 14. Arizona 90
8. Michigan 58, 3. Kentucky 67
9. Notre Dame 65, 5. Kansas 77
10. Indiana 82, N.C. State 70
11. Ohio State 72, Arizona State 58
12. Connecticut 80, Tennessee 64
13. Texas 75, Saint John's 74, OT
14. Arizona 90, 7. Syracuse 53
15. Southern Cal 68, 4. Duke 72
16. Maryland 71, 17. DePaul 66
17. DePaul 66, 16. Maryland 71
18. LSU 80, West Virginia 71
19. Georgetown 94, Tulsa 69
20. Minnesota 75, California 83
21. Alabama 69, Washington 68, OT
22. Florida 59, Louisville 72
23. Iowa 67, Houston 80
24. UNLV 70, Princeton 66
25. Illinois 74, 1. UCLA 87

Greetings everyones!
​
A little back story ever since I was young I loved Transformers, G1, the OG movie, Beast Wars and so on, I had some of the old G1 figures growing up but as I got older I wasn't really allowed to keep them anymore and they got given away. Sometime in the early 2000s I started to collect the Armada figures and had a big collection of them, even Energon and many of the Galaxy Force figures. Then a girl I was really serious about being with decided that they needed to go, back then I just wanted to please them and sold everything... big mistake but anyway.
Even though I kept up with Transformers news, games, movies and shows; I never really brought any of the figures ever again untill very recently, the place I live doesn't have any big toy stores but there is a small one that was selling some of the 2022 collection for half price so I picked up no. 92 Crosshairs and no. 93 Autobot Hot Rod and just the other day brought from eBay 01 Bumblebee, the 1976 Camaro from the first live action movie which arrived today.
While I have opened Crosshairs and HotRod I have left Bee in his package because after handling the two it feels like pieces come off of them REALLY easily, for example the left front coat of Crosshairs keeps coming off and doesn't seem to set back in very well and continues to come off, while Hot Rod who I know has some issues with his transformation has an issue of the tiny flap on his left foot coming off all the time, unable to reattach it properly and just slides off. The issues have put a little bit of a soar taste in my mouth and has me wondering, is it just the later SS TFs that have these sorts of issues or are all of them quite bad with this OR is it just my ones that are this bad?
I do want to continue collecting the SSTFS and have my eyes set on 02 Decepticon Stinger (a bit pricey now but my bad for waiting so long) but just worried so many will continue to have issues.
Thank you for your time everyone!

Hey guys ! So this isn't really a question or something but I just wanted to talk about my experience with a tuba so far. I switched to tuba around veterans day bc our other tuba can't celebrate anything due to his religion. I played euphonium before , so I caught on quickly.
I thought I was gonna quit after the Christmas concert but something about the tuba just made me wanna stay. I continued and I made 3rd chair in honor band ! There were 8 tubas , so i was really happy with the outcome.
Then came our spring concert and now I'm using a newer tuba gifted to our school by the state instead of our old , broken down rotary. I had to use the rotary during our LGPE performance but that's okay. I just couldn't play any notes that were above high C. I played in our spring concert and even got a soli (2 tubas and 1 Bari sax part. It was in Cantina Band from Star Wars).
For those of you who aren't sure about switching to tuba , I suggest doing it. Its really fun and you'll find a talent you didn't even know you had. Take it from me , someone who's only been playing for nearly 9 months or more. Have fun with it !

So, my leo has been acting strange lately.
She's 3 months old, we've had her for 2 weeks, she's 12 grams 5 inches long, and her name is Lennie.
Recently she started having FOUL smelling diarreah, she sleeps all the time too. I mean, shes okay with playing at night, definitely eats and drinks fine. She has the right lighting, I clean her cage everywhere and have great husbandry.
She eats mealworms and crickets with the repashy multi vitamin every other day. (Repashy scales for every day but I also rarely use a calcium with d3 so yea) I don't know what's going on . She is a mack snow and she may not be 12 grams I think she's more but my scale is 15 years old lmao Help. What's going on? Temps usually stay between 75-97 (hot and cold) and drop to around 65 and 75 at night. Humidity stays around 45 and go's up at night. When I take her out of her cage, she runs around (same with inside of it) she has at 30 gal cage for now.

Lately it has been nothing but upheaval. I'm being evicted, I don't have the money for a new apartment if I can even get anyone to answer me while looking for one, I've been sick the last 4 days so even if I wanted to, I couldn't pack without making it worse... I have nowhere to put what I HAVE packed which makes me have issues with continuing to pack because executive dysfunction BS... I have a couple friends who said they'd help or I could stay with them for a bit until I find a place, but haven't heard a word about either since then... then I got invited to go hang out with one of them today, when I really, REALLY just want to be around people and out of the house, only for someone else to say no, because not enough room... I've always been left out, the fifth wheel, the one people will say they'll help (in the few times I do ask for help) then go back on it... I'm tired and scared and wish I didn't have to be at home today. I want to be anywhere but here....

the radio springs to life ~"north-star come in, this is MARS " "go ahead mars we hear you" "were out past san fran about 3ks from post, somethin strange out here" "what is it"
"not sure,small facility, out in the forest, seen a few hellions nearby chased them off and they lead us here. "
"you asking permission to investigate?" "something like that, where heading in, it leads down so we might loose comms" "sounds good carefull eddy" "you know me fletcher"
that is the last time Lieutenant edward clef and mars squad was heard from 3 weeks ago
we know your new but we dont have the numbers to be picky right now, we need you to find them and find out what they found, i know clef personally, he wouldnt risk his life unless it was something important. welcome to solar squad.
MORE ON THE GAME this is a ttrpg with a heavy post apocalyptic rp element taking place somewhere in California you work for meridian a company devoted to expanding the settlement city of morgan after the collapse of the world ripped apart society 70+ years ago.
this ttrpg is a d20 system with an ap system a deep combat system and a plethora of weapons and gear
this game will be held on discord for any who would like to join and will be responce based but will have sessions of play on weekends during the day.
this is supposed to be a mostly serious dark world and while comedy is allowed dont go over board
this game was inspired by games like escape from tarkov gears of war 1-3 the wasteland series fallout 1-2 metro
this games systems were all inspired by ideas in said games and a few ideas from other ttrpgs such as pathfinder 2e
this is a system where it is simple to make a character but complex enough to take time to learn
its meant to be challenging and take alittle thought to pass any combat scenario with a story of course
A PDF is now available for my system ask me for more information

WFH will end by 1 September. Looking to stay at a nice cool place with temperature less than 25°C in India with vegetarian food. Does not have to be posh. Just clean and a basic bed with a gadda and very basic amenities. Most important - WiFi / good data connection. Will buy whatever required SIM. If it's a religious place / temple / dharamshala i am perfectly fine.

So I (26M) got out of a 7 year relationship. Lost 60lbs and now I'm starting to date again. I found this woman that is super hot and I really enjoy her body.
Unfortunately I'm having to wear condoms for the first time since I was 19. I was used to having raw penetration and creampies whenever I wanted. It was probably the only good part of my Ex.
I'm having trouble getting hard staying hard and cumming when I need. Ive been really letting it get to my head. I'll start stimulating myself and it'll be hard for like 4 min then I'll go softer as I'm going. I have to work really hard to finish and I'm decently flaccid when I do.
Any tips for getting better? I don't want to do meds. Also I quit watching porn a few weeks ago but it seems that that big of a change has been difficult.
I don't want to make my partner feel bad for not making me hard or going over the edge.

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So when I was really young, my dad used to take me and my brother to his parents house and we'd stay there and both parent would go to work. In the corner of the living room, they had a large twisty tube with water and staircase base and it had fake fish and acrylic balls at the bottom. I discovered it out of curiosity and when I turned it on bubbles rise up and it changed colors. I thought this was the best and most mesmerizing thing ever. I'd sit down and watch it for a while. I asked my mom if she could take me places so we could find that thing. We went to Toys'R us (back when it was open) we went to 3 other different places and still couldn't find it.
Later on at the house, I found a 2nd one! It was half the size of the 1st one and it was a CD rack and it had less fish, but more acrylic balls. And again, it was the best thing ever. Even when I got older I still wanted one but I never knew what they were called. I searched the internet everywhere and couldn't find it. I finally found it and what they were called is "bubble tube lamp". Bought my first one in 2019. Since, I've been a huge collector of these things trying to get everyone I find and I so far have 15 of them!

--- Table of Contents ---
Autumn 4986, 16 Aoimoth
Shon and Nangran hobbled their horses at the base of a steep hill deep in the woods north of Hamerfoss. They'd left at fourth bell, before any of the other Squires had woken for their morning run, and it had still taken them hours of riding through narrow trails to reach this place. At least they hadn't run into any monsters. The snow that had dusted the landscape during the night lay thick here, crunching underfoot and occasionally flopping noisily to either side as it fell from the tall evergreen branches.
Shon adjusted the strap of his sword across his chest and reached his left hand back to brush shaking fingers over its hilt. He'd been glad when the Paladins insisted he take it with him. To them, it marked Shon as a representative of Hengist and the Temple. To Shon, it was a sign of his hard work and resolve. Having it was a comfort.
Nangran started up the hill, and Shon hurried to follow. The smith hadn’t spoken a word since they set out, not even to try and ease Shon’s anxiety, for which Shon was grateful. Master Daunas had tried to sound confident as Shon saddled his borrowed horse, and The Major General had offered him encouragement as they mounted. Neither realized how much that just drove home the desperation of the situation in Shon’s mind.
The smith pulled his heavy cloak tighter, and Shon looked away. He hadn’t bothered to wear his cloak. He'd never really felt chilled in the winter like others seemed to. Now that he knew why, he wished he had. Cold continued to swirl around him, enhanced by his worries. If he could just block those emotions, the power would never have been a problem to begin with.
The trees thinned the higher they climbed, disappearing almost entirely as they crested the top of the hill. The clearing looked over the treetops, offering an unimpeded view of the horizon. Forest all around, with flatland to the south and rocky mountain peaks to the north. Only a handful of small trees grew in the clearing, and in the middle stood a little ramshackle hut only slightly larger than an outhouse.
Nangran threw his arm out, stopping Shon from walking past him, "Don't touch anything. And don't be surprised if he says no right off."
Shon nodded, trying to swallow down his fear so it wouldn't be seen in his eyes. Dropping his hand, Nangran started forward again, finishing, "Be honest, but not insulting." The instructions, -or perhaps advice?- seemed like common courtesy, which made Shon wonder why quiet Nangran had bothered to say anything.
As they drew closer to the little shack, Shon could make out a sign on the door. He squinted to read it and had just made out 'No Soliciting' when the door swung open, banging against the wall and sending birds into flight. An old man, so thin he looked like a skeleton with yellow skin pulled tight across its bones, stormed out. Wearing nothing but a loincloth, he was shaking a thick stick at them that glinted with red rubies in the low autumn light.
"I already paid my dues for this decade! So you can take your request and shove it-" Shon’s hand instinctively reached for his sword, but Nangran just crossed his arms over his barrel chest. The old -virtually naked- man stopped yelling mid-rant and lifted one shriveled arm to shade his eyes as he squinted at them, "Eh? Flintchest, what’re you doing way out here with a blasted mage in tow?"
Rather than answer, Nangran started forward again, he didn't much care for talking, let alone shouting. Looking from Nangran to the loincloth man, Shon slowly lowered his arm, but still took position to the left and just behind the Smith as they approached the crazy man with the glittering club.
"No mage." Nangran said as he came right up to the strange old man, "Squire." he glanced over his shoulder at Shon and finished, "Sorcerer."
The old man spat on the ground and moved his squint to Shon. Running his eyes from the top of his black head to the tip of his polished boots and back, exaggerating the movement before he stopped at the Squire’s cold blue eyes.
He spat again, then barked "Where's your familiar?" scanning first the ground at Shon's feet then the sky above his head.
Shon blinked at him, furrowing his brow in confusion at the question. The mage snapped his fingers impatiently, "Your familiar! All Sorcerers have a familiar."
Nangran came to his rescue, "Just woke last night," he said shortly.
The mage spat again but didn't argue, "Well, come in then." Shon looked sideways at Nangran, but the Smith had already begun following the skinny old man into the shack. Shon hurried to catch up.
Inside, Shon's eyes were assaulted with a sparkling rainbow of colors. The room they'd entered was considerably larger than the outside would suggest, with plush carpet and a stuffed high-back armchair in front of a blazing fire in the opposite wall. Shelves full of exotic plants, glowing glass jars, and glittering stones filled every available space, reflecting off one another and setting streaks of light to dance on the floor and walls like sun rays through crystal.
There was too much to take in, so Shon focused on their host. The old man was slipping into a thick robe of deep purple velvet. He'd hung the club on the wall beside the door, which looked just as decrepit on this side as it had on the outside.
"Make a habit of greeting visitors half-naked and swinging an old fireball wand?" Nangran asked as he slipped out of his cloak.
"Keeps the conversations short." the old man replied tersely, tying his belt and turning to his guests. With boney knuckles on boney hips and glare firmly planted on his wrinkled face, he snapped, "Don't bother getting comfortable, Flintchest; you'll be leaving soon enough."
The Smith ignored him, hanging his cloak on the hook that had presumably held the mage's robe. "Got a favor to ask," he said, but the old man was already shaking his head,
"More like a favor to cash in. That's the only reason you're in here and not smoking in a hole outside."
Nangran ignored the threat and motioned from Shon to the old man and back. "Archmage Ivelm." The mage looked Shon up and down again as Nangran made the introductions, “Squire Shon.”
"Not much longer, I'd say." Ivelm said to Nangran as he finished his second examination, "It's to the Guild with this one. Too much magic." he turned his head and spat in a brass can by the door. It rang out with a loud ‘ting!' and Ivelm sniffed, looking down at Nangran again, "What do you want, Flintchest?"
"Need a seal. So the boy doesn't freeze Hamerfoss more than it already is." the smith crossed his arms, watching the mage and somehow still seeming completely at ease.
"Eh?!" Ivelm exclaimed, leaning far forward. Shon had to try hard not to crinkle his nose as the old man brought his face close enough that Shon could smell Ivelm's breath. Garlic, the mage ate a lot of garlic…
"So… you don't want to be a mage, do you?" he demanded, glaring down his nose at him. Shon shook his head and would have answered with a 'no ser.' except the mage continued, "Rather swing around some hunk of metal like a brute?"
Shon blinked stupidly, and Nangran cleared his throat, "Watch what you say about my swords, old man."
Ivelm ignored the smith as soundly as Nangran had ignored the Archmage, and continued to Shon, "The powers of the universe are at your fingertips. Blood blessed with the strength of the elements, and you wanna throw it all away," he threw his arms into the air, still uncomfortably close, "And for what? Some illusion of an honorable death by the sword?"
Shon didn't know what to say. He looked past the affronted mage's face, only an inch from his own, to Nangran. But the smith gave no sign he was going to help. Shon’s future depended on convincing this strange old man, this Archmage, to help…
Shon wasn't the type to try and convince anyone of anything, but the least he could do was explain himself. Shon stepped back from the mage to address him from a more comfortable distance. "I chose to dedicate my life to perfecting my art, and my art is martial combat," he said. Ivelm wrinkled his nose, his mouth twisting as if he were going to spit again, but Shon continued, "magic would be better served in the hands of someone who wants it badly enough to work for it. Like I've worked for my martial skills."
Ivelm leaned away from Shon, his eyebrows lifted into his frizzled gray hair. Shon looked to Nangran, hoping for some sign that this was a good response. The smith smiled from behind the mage.
"Soooo…" Ivelm drew the word out, "You think only those who dedicate themselves to strict study and practice should wield the power of the universe?" he leaned forward again, turning his head and fixing one eye on Shon like a bird. As if trying to catch him in a lie.
Shon nodded, confused, then asked, "Isn't that what it takes to effectively wield magic? Focused study?"
Ivelm didn't answer the question, instead turning his face to examine Shon with the other eye, scanning him up and down yet again. The old man had looked him up and down so much Shon wouldn't be surprised if the next question were about his hair or boots.
But Ivelm didn't ask another question. Instead, he stood straight and spat into the brass can with another ringing 'ting!' "I like this one," he said, turning his back on Shon and facing Nangran, "But it's too much." he shook his head, lifting his hands in helpless surrender, "Too much power, and ice at that. Stubborn element that one. And it's so finicky to block just elemental magic..."
Ivelm continued talking but Shon heard very little of it. A hole had opened in his gut, and it felt like his heart was racing his stomach to fall into it. But Nangran just rolled his eyes at the mage, interrupting, "Used to be the name in new magic items... made shackles to hold Archmages." he squinted at Ivelm, who had frozen mid-head shake, "Must've gotten rusty out…"
Ivelm snapped his fingers under the Smith's nose to stop him talking, "The mind does not rust, Flintchest!" he huffed, one bare foot tapping under his robe, "Not like your swords and shriveling muscles." Nangran just stared stubbornly, his thick, muscled arms still crossed over his broad chest.
The mage continued to tap his foot, his nose in the air. But as the silence stretched, Ivelm looked down at the smith, who continued to say nothing. The silent battle of wills ended when Ivelm threw his arms up in disgust and shook a finger under Nangran's nose, nearly hitting it, declaring, "I'll show you. I'll make a gem especially for this lad, and you'll see the mind only continues to grow sharper!"
He spun on his heel back to Shon, who had just made out the smith's returned smile from behind the mage when the old man snapped his fingers in Shon's face, making him jump. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come here so I can take some measurements!" Ivelm swung around again and marched across the room to a large workbench with plants and gems scattered across it. Shon scrambled after him, praying his thanks to Hengist and suddenly feeling light enough to float. His anxieties dropping away and melting like snow in summer.
***
It was already noon, and no one had come to see Her. She jumped up to grab the bars of Her window, pulling Herself up to peak out but seeing nothing but new snow and tree trunks. She was full to bursting with nervous energy, amplifying every sound and sensation. Footsteps sounded outside Her door, and She dropped from the window, sprinting across the room and resting Her ear on the wood.
“Ran, recheck the lab. Brom, with me.” Archmage Morndancer spoke with his strange alternation between draconic and common as he passed Her door without stopping. She could easily make out the swish of their robes on the stone hall leading away. Three people, Brom, Ran, and Archmage Morndancer. And yet the scurrying of too many feet to be only the two apprentices and Archmage Shaloon, sounded from the floor above. There were strangers in her tower again. Many strangers. Something was happening, something big…
She ran to Her window again, just for something to do, seeking some way to burn off some of the anxiety of not knowing what was going on around her.
A roar from down the hall, a roar of pain, sent ice washing through her veins. She slammed into the door at full speed. Pounding on the wood, She called out, “Brom?! Ran?!” Nothing. Then a yip cut short, followed by barking and yowling.
She shook the handle with both hands, rattling the door on its hinges, “BROM! RAN!” Something was happening to Her treasures, something terrible… The door handle began to glow, the metal warping and sagging as it melted. The knowledge that She would be in more trouble than She had ever been in before was nothing compared to Her terror. She wrenched the handle back with all Her might, splashing molten metal across Her bed, lighting fires that flared in her panic, and sending smoke to curl up to the ceiling.
She didn’t care. She shouldered the door open and ran.
“Red?!” She passed the first open door but couldn’t stop as Ran called out to Her. Reaching Her treasures' room, She tried to stop but slipped, slamming into the ground with a sticky splash. A final whining bark started a buzzing in Her ears as She stared, transfixed, at Her hands. They were painted red. Warm and sticky. The overpowering stench of iron nearly made Her gag as She looked up to see Morndancer toss aside a glittering golden wolf pup, the body flopping limply over the corpse of its mother and siblings.
Her world went red.
***
The last sample was taken care of, but something roared with enough ferocity to shatter glass.
Morndancer's head snapped around in time for him to fall back, shielding his face with his hands as the Firewyrm exploded. White-hot fire engulfed Her and spread out to the stone floor and walls. His robes began to smoke, the new fire protection spells woven into them being overpowered by the sheer ferocity of the blaze.
Brom had no such spells, and he had only managed a single step towards the girl before he fell to the ground, writhing for only a moment before lying still. The Archmage heard Ran scream from the hall before the journeyman stumbled past the door, flailing wildly. Barely discernible as human inside the flames.
The Firewyrm moved towards him, stepping through Brom’s head, turned to ash, and blown up to dance in the air on the same heatwaves causing the girl's hair to wave wildly about Her. She didn't seem to notice, Her face was expressionless and her eyes glowed as red as the scales across Her cheek. Morndancer tried to snap his fingers, but the golden collar around Her neck melted, Her clothes burning off and leaving Her naked and terrible in the flames.
His robe was burning now, and only the pain of that could pull his eyes from the Firewyrm as he pointlessly tried to beat the fires off. He fell back, hitting the wall, which drooped, sagging and dripping molten stone onto his head and face. Then he fell further back, into a gate that opened behind him.
Shaloon pulled him through the portal and into the library three stories up. The Firewyrm roared again and the tower walls shook with the force of it. The gate closed, but Morndancer continued to burn. He could hear screaming. Was it him? Was he screaming? Fire burst up the spiral stairs in the middle of the room, and apprentices, both their own and many sent from the central and western Talon, scrambled about in a panic, some even leaping from the windows.
Shaloon cursed, holding out her hand and summoning her sword again. She had to draw the circle five times before a second gate finally formed, and she dove through it, pulling Morndancer along with her as it quickly closed. An apprentice reached through, and his arm fell at Morndancer’s feet, miles away in the sitting room of his manor back in Smildna.
He laughed. Shaloon slapped him, and he laughed. Ronni, his daughter, burst through the door, her own daughter, only a year old, perched on her hip, and still, he laughed. “What’s wrong?! What happened to him?!” he barely registered his daughter's words and continued to laugh, rolling around on the ground in mirthful madness.
“The Firewyrm She…” Shaloon started, but Morndancer yelled over her in draconic,
“She is true! She is pure! She is rage! The children will come and raise the grandchildren! We have only to await the coming of those Chosen!” the room faded around him, becoming washed out and gray then finally black as he continued to laugh and shout, “They take those who slew them and use them to raise themselves anew…”
He couldn’t feel his burns or the hands trying to settle him. He saw only darkness and stars. And the eyes of his Master boring into his soul from the outer planes.
***
Shon couldn't remember ever feeling so drained in his life. He'd been tired before, exhausted even, but it had never felt quite like this. The eccentric Archmage Ivelm had ordered him to 'empty his energy' into stone after stone. Measuring the weight, color, and temperature of each. Making notes in chalk directly on his table and talking to himself. Shon was shocked the first time he saw the smooth rock handed to him change from a translucent white to an onyx as black as his hair, but by the time they'd gone through the twentieth stone, Shon had decided to stop counting.
Ivelm, however, seemed to get more and more excited with each one. Giving Shon reason to suspect the mage may be taking the energy for himself. After what felt like hours, Ivelm finally stoppered the potion he'd mixed with the most recent jewel, glowing a soft pale blue, and stepped back from the workbench, bony hands on bony hips.
"It can be done." Ivelm swiveled to face Nangran, "He's strong, I don’t know how he managed not to manifest until now, but it's all focused in one elemental direction." he rubbed his chin and looked at the ceiling, completely ignoring Shon's arched eyebrow. "It has a bit of divine flavor as well. But I suppose that shouldn't be surprising for a training Paladin." The mage stopped musing and glared down his nose at Nangran, who had made himself comfortable in the oversized wingback chair by the fire, "It will have to be a lot bigger than a piece of jewelry would allow."
The smith just hummed and sipped at his mug. When had he gotten a mug? Shon looked from one old man to the other. It was apparent Ivelm wanted Nangran to ask him for details, but the ever stoic smith said nothing.
Shon was tired. His limbs felt heavy, and the weight of his simple uniform felt more like platemail. He was just about to ask what the Archmage meant, to hurry them along, when Ivelm threw his hands in the air and said, "You'll need to find somewhere to put it. I would recommend that." he pointed at the hilt of Shon's sword over his shoulder, continuing, "If the lad is insisting on swinging a metal stick around instead of harnessing the ultimate powers of the universe then that same stick might as well sap the power literally as well as figuratively." Shon arched an incredulous eyebrow but Ivelm wasn't paying attention, finishing, "I can get it down to about an inch and a half orb. At the smallest. If you want something different, say so now."
Nangran set his mug on the ground and stood with a grunt and a groan. Shon just wanted to go home and sleep for a week, so when the smith reached for the hilt of his sword for a closer look Shon hardly noticed, until the squat smith jerked it down to eye level. Shon swung his arms like a drowning man and stepped wide to prevent himself from falling over.
"Quit wigglin'," Nangran grumbled, studying the sword's pommel with a professional eye. "One and a half'll do, preferably in a tear…"
The mage snorted and continued to ignore the struggling half crouched Shon, his voice dripping sarcasm as he addressed the smith, "Shall I wrap it in silk for you as well?"
"Na." Nangran let go of the sword, and Shon stood straight, lifting his leg to shake out the knee. "Drop it off when you’re done." the Mage snorted again but didn't counter.
None of them were interested in extending the visit, so Nangran grabbed his heavy cloak and shrugged it on while Shon waited by the door. "It will be at least a fortnight," Ivelm called from his position by the workbench, not about to walk them out.
Nangran grunted his confirmation and opened the battered and decrepit door, letting the wind and early autumn snow blow in on their way out. Shon followed numbly, his eyes unfocused as he walked, and ran right into the much shorter man. Nangran hardly moved as Shon bounced off of him. He was squinting into the distance, one large hand shading his eyes. Shon stared at Nangran for a moment before following the direction of his gaze over the tree line.
Smoke. A LOT of smoke. The black clouds billowed violently into the sky, occasionally lit from below by sparks shot high into the air.
"Elm!" Nangran shouted. Shon had never heard the man call so loudly. The Archmage must have also been shocked because the door to his hut swung open and he stuck his head out to look to either side, eyes wide.
"Flintchest, what?" but he soon saw what, "But, that's the old chemist's tower… What?" he stood in shocked confusion for a heartbeat before turning back into the hut. Shon looked from the shack to Nangran, but before he could say anything, the mage was back, struggling with two long rods, one blue with what looked like waves painted all around, the other black and studded with diamonds.
"Don't just stand there!" Ivelm snapped at the two as he finally managed to slip the blue rod into a sheath at his side. He then pointed the diamond rod at the space between two close-growing trees. Shon heard him say something unintelligible, and one of the diamonds shot out of the tip of the rod to hover between the trees before expanding into a portal.
Beyond the magical gate, Shon could hear the fire roar. It sounded how he imagined the burning hells might sound, but as he followed the two men through, he realized his imagination was tame by comparison.
The smell of burning flesh and hair choked him as they stepped clear of the gate's magic. The heat smashed into them like a wall, and all three brought their arms up to shield their faces. Around them were the charred remains of what looked like humans, their faces buried in the mud as if they'd been trying to run from the blaze. Shon had to swallow the bile that rose in his throat and focused instead on the fire Ivelm had said was a tower.
It was completely engulfed in bright flames of all colors. Squinting through the light, he could see the stone walls melting like wax. The arch of the doorway sagged in the middle, and Shon's eyes went wide. Someone was in there.
He would've had to shout over the roar of the flames, but it didn’t matter; Ivelm was already raising the blue wand, jerking his fingers in strange ways and mouthing words impossible to hear. Water shot out the tip of the wand with the force of a ballista and hissed against the glowing stones.
It wasn't possible. It must be a trick of the flickering flames. But the figure turned its face to them, long hair whipping about as it took steps in their direction.
"Don't just stand there, boy!" Ivelm screamed. "They must have a fire-resist spell; those things don't last forever!"
Nangran grabbed Shon’s upper arm, pulling him a step closer to the fire and down so he could shout in his ear, "Freeze a path."
Shon swallowed. He was so tired, literally drained. He didn't know what to do or how to do it. But the figure in the fire reached out to them only to pull away from a drop of molten rock. Shon fell to his knees, placing his hands on the ground and pleading silently to Hengist. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to control the power. He tried picturing a path of snow between himself and the tower base, concentrating on it until the mental image overlaid the real world, as he did when imagining phantom fighters during practice.
Ice snaked its way from Shon's fingers towards the burning tower along his mental path, powered by the fear that he wouldn't be fast enough to save the person inside. The water from Ivelm's wand helped carve the way, and Shon grunted physically as he struggled to push mentally. His breathing came heavy and ragged. He could feel the fire melting the edges of the ice as if it were a part of him. Still, he fought back and forced it to continue to form into solid sheets moving closer and closer to the figure still trapped in the tower.
Wherever the ice formed solid, it stayed. The fire drawing back from it until, finally, it reached the doorway. He urged the ice to climb up the doorframe, to hold it in place and keep it from falling, from moving at all.
Shon was seeing double. He struggled to focus on the figure and flinched as they stepped onto the frozen path. The ice hissed and melted under their bare unsteady feet, he could feel it... feel them, their heat, on his ice.
It was a young woman. Or an older girl. She was naked; her clothes burned away by the fire. Her long hair was being blown forward by the heat of the burning tower, obscuring her face. As she moved closer, Shon could make out strange red stripes snaking around her body, standing in stark relief against her pale skin.
Ivelm stepped in front of him then, throwing Nangran's cloak around her shoulders as she crumpled to the ground. Nangran himself knelt beside Shon, resting one massive hand on the Squire's back. "You can stop, lad…" his voice trailed off, and Shon felt an emptiness open in his chest. No one could have survived that, not if they hadn't already made it to the entrance like the girl. As if to punctuate the thought, Shon managed to focus his eyes only to see the tower's entrance wall fold and collapse in on itself, the stones flowing like soft wax.
--- Table of Contents ---
Sorry for the double post today. I wanted to keep Ch 14 & 15 together.
Thanks for making it this far, you are the real MVP

Nmum diagnosed as terminal a year ago, now late stages. I said on diagnosis that I would try my best to ensure her last year was stress free.
Completely undeserved, as an alcoholic narcissist the best thing she ever managed to do was leave myself and my brother at my dad's late one night and never come back. Her new fella didn't really like us, so it was a selfish act on her part. She reappeared 5 years later. She needed us again it seemed.
Queue 25 years of emotional abuse, gaslighting, manipulation and generally going out of her way to try to ruin everything for me that she didn't like.
But I wanted to know that I would not drown in the guilt that this type of parent manages to instil in you, despite logic.
I have sucked up every emotion whilst she used me for her every whim, always pleading and throwing her empty 'love you's' at me whilst watching me literally drown from the pressure. During recent 8 week hospital stay I went in every day for over an hour just so i could wheel her out to smoke. I'm a single mum of 3 and have two jobs - life is full on so this was a major commitment to make. Plus cost financially.
She was discharged home with a pallative care plan in place. She is immobile. No, didn't like that. Managed to lock door (with help from a crony) to disallow access. Got drunk, smoke too much, didn't eat and didn't take meds. When I finally broke in she sat in her own piss and shit, blotto drunk and throwing every insult at me.
So back to hospital, back to smoke visits.
Then gets a place in a home. No, that's not good either as she couldn't chain smoke.
So here we are now. She's discharged again to home. We begged her not too. I explained I was too damn tired and hurt to be her full time carer. She wants me purely as I do as I'm told. Years of manipulation have left me almost broken. The last few months have left me empty.
But I see it, I know what she is. I'm getting texts constantly telling me what I should be doing for her. Lists and lists. She is helpless, but has put herself there.
I really want to stand my ground, but the guilt is a constant gnaw. Constantly I question if I'm right in protecting myself now. The last three days have me feeling every emotion and I don't know what to do.

Hi everyone.
First of all, I have a lot to write. It will be a long one and I'm sorry for that. Nonetheless, I hope you read it as I would really appreciate other opinions.
Since we broke, I have been thinking about it nonstop. Not necessarily about her but about how it ended, trying to understand what led to her wanting to give up on us. To be fair, now that I can remove myself from the situation, a lot of things come up to my head but, because she never expressed some of them, I'm still unsure about what was/were the problems.
For context, we met 6 months ago and been talking since then. I asked her to be my girlfriend 3 months after.
In the beginning stages, she was a lot more interested than me. I was challenging because, honestly, I wasn't really interested in meeting someone and was busy with work and surrounded with a great group of friends that were with me all the time.
I eventually gave "us" a chance. Everything was perfect, honestly. We both work but we managed to make time to be with each other and spend the nights together - 3 times during the week and weekends. This started happening after 2 weeks (or so) of us starting talking and least for about 2 months. Looking back, it was extremely crazy how fast we were going but it felt very nice. Please keep in mind that she was the one always coming over and, most of the time, was asking to come over.
I only asked her to be my girlfriend because everything was going perfectly. Everything was aligning and I actually saw wife potential in her. So, after 3 months of a great nonofficial relationship, I asked her and she accepted it. Funny enough, on the following week, I noticed some changes. The constant texting that we had became slower. She started to take hours to reply and the conversation wasn't flowing how it was before, it seemed forced. For a week I gave back the same energy. After a week I decided to have a talk with her and asked her if my request freaked her out. She said that it didn't, everything was good, she was happy being my girlfriend, but she was busy and that some times she just doesn't have it in her to constantly be texting. Even though it never happened before, I saw it as valid. She said she understood my point and that she was going to do better. It did get better for a week or two but, eventually, went back to the same, if not worst. Once again, I called her out and she said that us being so attached messed with her life. Her siblings, who are also her roommates and best friends, were calling her out for never being home, and she wasn't seeing her family as much as before. Totally reasonable, she proposed that we should start seeing each other during the weekend and one/two times during the week. I completely understood her reasons as they very reasonable. It got better and it worked for a while. However, it started to get worse and worse and I got tired. I called her out and told her that if this was her definition of relationship, I wasn't interested. We had a deep conversation and we solved it.
She did community college, finished with a 4.0 GPA. However, after those two years, decided to take a break and work. She started working and has been working ever since. When still getting to know each other, she always mentioned that she needed and wanted to go back to university to finish it and get her degree. So, I started pushing her as the new school year is coming up. She appreciated the help and we agreed that we would both do that, as I also need to go to university to maintain my US visa. We were pushing each other but she started having doubts. She was no longer so sure if she wanted to go back to studying. Additionally, she hated her job, rightfully so. Her paying is unbelievably low, the job isn't what she wants and it's not enjoyable. However, it is a very nondemanding job and she is very comfortable (airpods in all day, watching Netflix, while performing very simple tasks with friendly people). Alongside university, she always expressed her desire to get a better job. As I pushed her to start applying in order to do and be better, she started second guessing it because she is comfortable where she is. I really disliked the indecisiveness and had a serious conversation with her about what she actually wanted. This conversation was one of the deepest conversations of my life.
In this conversation, she broke down to tears. She said that she feels like a loser because a) she is 25 and has yet to get her degree, b) she shares a house with her siblings, all younger than her, and she is the one making (considerably) less money, c) has a bad job, with no career progression possibilities. She recognizes all of this and says that she knows she can change all of it but that she has no ambitions, no goals, no motivation to do anything. This really caught be of guard as she always convinced me that she was going to do what she told me she wanted. Even though I realized right away that those were HUGE red flags, as well very unattractive, I believe that they could quickly disappear if I became someone who motivated her. In that conversation, I told her that we were in a relationship and that we are supposed to help and push each other out, to which she initially contested because she always refused help and always claimed that relying on someone else was one of the last things she wanted. Despite that, with a very emotional and, what it seemed to me, very real ending to the conversation, we decided that we were going to follow our goals and push and motivate each other from that moment on. That is exactly what I did.
She is in a routine of working, getting home, chilling with her roommates (her best friends), smoke weed, go to bed, and repeat. This is a lifestyle she loves and I'm sure she wants to keep. She has no idea what the real world is and it seems to me that, at this point, she just wants to keep living that life and, therefore, is more than willing to maintain everything the way it is. I do think that such is one of the reasons as to why she is thorn between doing what she knows she wants/needs to do, and stay the same.
Recently, as I know the college deadlines are coming up, I brought up the subject again. That was our last conversation. She told me that I had my goals, had everything planned, knew what I wanted for myself and what I wanted from her. She said that she didn't know what she wanted, and that she doesn't want me pushing her, she wants to do everything on her own terms and on her own pace. She also told me that she feels like she isn't giving me what I want - better communication and more time together. She felt that she could even be wasting my time and that, after 6 months, we have both have yet to say I love you. She also mentioned that she never actually had time to be single (as she was always in two long relationships before) and was starting to feel like she wasn't ready for another relationship, especially one with a guy who was so sure of what he wanted. She said that she likes me deeply, I was always nice with her, everything was still there, but she needed to work on herself before making a commitment of having a relationship so serious as it was with me. Now that I'm writing this, it's starting to sound very obvious that there is no going back and that she just doesn't want to be with me. However, it is confusing, as 2 days before I went to a barbeque her family did, she told me to have a deep conversation with her mother so that she could get to know me better, a few weeks ago it was my birthday and she gave an extremely off budget present and her postcard was a clear love letter, and the relationship was the best it had it been for a few weeks. It came out of nowhere.
The day before she did tell me she started her period and was very sensitive, so she asked me to only go see her the next day. I told her that I would bring ice cream and she happily request for her favorite flavor. This is a very simple and, probably, meaningless thing, but (in my opinion) it shows that she wanted to see me and had no intentions of breaking up. This contributed a lot to how blindsided I was at the moment of the breakup. After her expressed her feelings, we spoke about it and I tried to understand everything (still haven't been able, clearly). I clearly expressed my intention of wanting to still be together as she still said she liked me deeply, and I believed that I could be the solution to her lack of motivation problem. We kept going back and forth until I got tired and I asked her if she was sure of it, to which she said yes. She wanted to still be friends, text, and even go out every now and then. I told her that I just don't text like I did/do with her. I only texted her the way I did because she was my significant other and I cared deeply for her. If now I have to change that, I would not keep on texting her like if we were still on a relationship. I also expressed that I would not be going out with her and her friends because that is what they are, her close friends not mine. I was going there because of her and our relationship, if that was done, there was also no reason for me to come. Also, did not want to hang out with her alone because she was more than just a friend to me, to me it's either everything or nothing. Bottom line is, it seemed like she didn't want me out of her life but she didn't want to commit.
Part of me still believes that she will come back and say that what happened was on the heat of the moment and due to her constant changes of mind. I like her and told myself that I would give her 2 - 4 weeks to come back. If I haven't moved on by then, I will consider giving it another chance and try to work it out if she is honest with me about what she wants to do. Anything after that, it's too late. Until then, I will not be making any contact with her after she gives me what I had in her place back, which will be in the next few days. I will not have any conversation, I will just give her space. I'm in a waiting process.
What I did wrong, in my opinion: we both went way too fast; I got used to how close we were and started being over affectionate and needy; put a lot of my life on hold/plan B because of her as she became my priority. Additionally, I'm also a overthinker, so it doesn't help, it makes me come out as insecure even though I'm extremely confident, borderline cocky.
I want her back. I saw wife material on her like I haven't seen before. The huge red flags can quickly be erased if she just "jumps" out of her comfort zone and chases the new things that she wants and needs to do. I see potential and I think we can come back and be stronger than ever as we would both know what we need to work on.
Any feedback is appreciated! I'm sure I'm missing out a lot of parts that I will remember as the thread develops. I believe this thread can be good for me overall become a better partner and, possibly, get closure.
Should I wait for her? Is she coming back? Does it sound like she is set on the decision?

I'm originally from orange county, moved away from California for a few years, but I'm back for a new job in Redondo Beach. I'm looking for a place to stay with my wife. We'd like something affordable, but our primary concern is safety. I know housing/rent prices have gone up since I was last here, but I don't have an idea for how much things should cost nowadays. We're fine with a studio or 1 BR, budget is maximum $2500-3000/month, but that would be stretching our income a bit thin so ideally we'd go a bit cheaper to $2000-2500/month if possible. We had been looking at Gardena/Torrance as a nice combination of safety/price, but I'm not sure if there are better options?

I'm trying to figure out how to handle some cooling issues for our Hedgie and I'm not sure how to write this in a coherent way (I'm sick right now, so, that doesn't really help). Some things to know: After some years of unfortunate things out of our control, we will be selling our current home and moving into the family's summerhouse, which does not currently have AC available. We intend on changing this asap but won't be able to until after selling this place and moving directly in to the other. We live in Greece and the summers can be hot and humid. What we currently have are tiles and a portable swamp cooler. The best thing that I can think of (definitely as a temporary solution) is to put his cage in one of the bathrooms on the bottom floor. The ground floor of the house is about halfway underground, so it's already the coolest area from the rest of the house. Keeping the bathroom door closed will keep the heat out. As for the swamp cooler, I've never used it and I'm not sure how efficient it will be. The bathroom is very, very small, so I'm hoping that it won't be too difficult to get and keep the temperature down. As for the tiles we have in Hedgie's cage, he hasn't figured out that he can lie on them to keep cool. Again, we do not intend this as a permanent setup. We fully intend on installing AC in our home.
One thing to keep in mind is that because of where I live, I do not have access to stores say like Walmart or Target. Most of the stores in my general area are touristy or food markets. We purchased the swamp cooler from a small electronics store here, but that's all they had. Greece also doesn't have its own Amazon, which means we have to use either Germany's or the UK's (not even sure if that's viable though because of Brexit). If we find something on another Amazon that will ship here that works and is compatible, I'm all for trying to get it. Any suggestions would be great. Thanks, everyone.

It was a 45 minute drive for me from the west side of Buffalo. Seemed a lot of driving on bad roads when i got off the throughway, but the place is nice inside. They had a hot girl as budtender. I have been smoking mids, so tried thier exotic menu choosing the kandylane 3.5 for 60. I just smoked it and am really high. Taste and looks and smell were nice. I saw dirt cheap stuff from 2 a gram to high exotic of 3.5 for around 100.
It was ok but too far away and.prices of good stuff is high. Ill stick with vibe delivery and struggle in person store moving forward.

hi all, I have been looking into improving thermals on my H1 V1 for a while now, my rtx 3070 runs hotter than i'd like under load (GPU hot spot up to 99 degrees celsius).
i have installed two 140mm exhaust fans on the back, removed the dust filter from my GPU side, and my next step was to replace the front tempered glass panel with a custom one from etsy to improve airflow. i balked at the price initially (pretty much half of what i paid for the entire case) and was thinking about a cheaper way to make a DIY front panel, and that's when i remembered that I still had the dust filter lying around, and decided on a whim to see if it'd fit the front panel. to my surprise this actually seems to work quite well with the magnet sticking to the top part of the frame, if a bit ugly. this massively improved my GPU temp (hot spot is 10+ degrees cooler under load), and now the only thing to solve for is getting the bottom magnet to stick to something to stay closed.
has anyone else done this as a cheap alternative to buying a custom made panel? any potential issues with using a dust filter as a front panel?
https://imgur.com/a/4ooj0Lj
please excuse the dog hair it's shedding season
edit: fully prepared to be slammed for the ugliness as aesthetics is one of the main reasons to go with the H1, but to me the beauty is in the form factor and not necessarily in the front panel
i also see that someone replaced the glass part of the front panel with a dust filter, which is a lot more involved but maybe fits better https://www.reddit.com/NZXT/comments/n52n9j/nzxt_h1_mod_removed_the_glass_from_the_metal/