Hey everyone, I am a student jumping between 1800 - 1900 rapid on chess.com. I was interested in what more experienced players thought about the idea of hiring an online chess coach.
For some additional information, I've been playing chess for about 2 years on and off, but got serious about it a couple months ago. My overall goal is to hit NM in the next 2 years, and then CM/FM eventually.
Between classes, studying, sports, and other things, I usually fit 2 - 4 hours of chess every day, whether it's reading books, doing puzzles, or just playing.
I don't know how useful this information is, but for openings, I play Catalan as white, Caro Kann and Grunfeld for black.
Is it worth hiring a chess coach (CM/FM/IM strength, as I likely won't be able to afford a GM coach) or should I focus on reading chess books and using external resources like YouTube?
Thank you!

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Thats it

This post is too long, but please read it. I wanna feel heard and valued. I also wanna know your thoughts about this.
I remember the advice my friend told me months ago. "Ang fubu/fwb ay para lang sa matitibay ang sikmura." She said it as a joke that time and I remember laughing at what she said because we were hella drunk. Now that I thought of it, it actually makes sense.
I've been fwb with this friend for almost a year. Last year was also the same year we met for the first time. Aksidente lang talaga ang pagiging fwb namin and it happened when I slept over his house. I was drunk that night and things just happened. It was a night filled with tension and I was the one who did the first move. I can't completely remember how, but we ended up doing the same thing once a week after that night. Every monday pa nga, to be specific. We did it without talking. I mean we forgot to set boundaries, no rules, walang terms at all. After ilang days, I found myself actually liking him and I know I was dumb for that. I didn't admit my feelings. I kept it a secret which he found out naman very soon. I kept it a secret because I thought I was just confused since it's my first time liking a guy (btw, I'm also a guy). That was the time I started researching about fwb setup. I learned a lot, but I didn't know that its aftermath could be so bad. One month later, I found that he's also doing sexual things with his best friend (who's also a guy). The night I learned about that was the night I confirmed my feelings for him. Hindi ako nakatulog because every time na pipikit ako, I see them doing the things we do. I see them kissing, I see them cuddling, I see them inappropriately touching each other and I didn't fucking like it. That time, naisip ko na rin na kailangan ko nang umalis sa situation namin na yon because I thought that he might unintentionally hurt me again. Hindi ako pwedeng magselos e. Hindi ako pwedeng magalit. All I could do was to get hurt over and over again. Two days later, I went to his place again. It was monday so something was expected to happen. I attempted telling him that I didn't like the idea na may something din sa kanila ng best friend niya, but for some fucking reason, hindi ko nagawa. We remained fwb the following months kahit every month akong nag-ooverthink sa tuwing magkikita sila ng best friend niya at magkakaroon ng sleepover together. They would sometimes check in a hotel doing I don't know what. It hurt me. It hurt me big time, pero hindi ko masabi sa kaniya because I don't want to lose him. Alam kong kapag nalaman niyang nasasaktan niya na ko, siya na ang mag-eend sa situationship namin and I don't want that to happen because he's got the company I've been longing for. He's older than me and more mature. He gives me comfort. We talk a lot. We chat online every night. He's one of a kind. So sa kabila ng sakit, tinuloy ko pa rin kung ano ang meron kami. I only admitted my feelings the day before New Year because he told me na matagal na pala niyang alam. I thought that day's gonna end everything, pero hindi pa pala. He gave me options. Whether we cut ties off and forget things happened between us or continue being in the situation. I really wanted to end things that time, but thinking about the wholesome stuff we used to do, I just couldn't lose him so I chose the latter option. We still remained fwb for the following months. I even told him that my feelings for him was not that serious which was a lie, obviously. Tiniis ko yung sakit especially when he's trying to meet somebody else to fuck.
On March, I met someone. During that time, I almost lost connection with him. I've been in a talking stage with this new person. For the short time, na-realize ko na nagffade yung feelings ko for my fwb. Kapag magpopost siya that he's out with with his best friend, hindi na ako nagseselos. I thought I finally met someone na mag-aalis sakin sa hurtful situation na yon, but nagbago siya. Lumabas agad yung pagiging selosa at controlling niya so I ended things. Then one day, nagparamdam na ulit yung fwb ko. I went to his place for a quickie. It's been more than a month since something like that happened between us. After the thing, he held my hand with intimacy and said that he missed it. I almost cried that time because I thought that "Tangina, eto na naman ako." Bumalik na naman yung feelings ko sa kaniya na sinubukan kong alisin one month ago. For almost two months, he was very into me. I also told him about how I tried to detach from him, hence my failed landian with someone else. His best friend is in the US for months now btw so hindi sila nagkikita. Akala ko wala na akong rason para magselos pero the last two weeks, I felt like he's avoiding interactions with me. Hindi na niya ako chinachat sa gabi at iniignore na niya yung snaps ko sa snapchat. Then, kahapon, he went to Manila to play sport with his friends. Nagkausap kami for a short moment and he told me na nakauwi na siya from Manila pero 20 minutes later, nalaman kong nasa Manila pa pala siya. It makes me overthink because I don't get the point of him lying so I have this gut that he's fucking somebody else there kasi naka-check in (?) siya sa isang hotel. Knowing how practical he is, alam kong hindi siya magchcheck in sa hotel mag-isa kasi mas pipiliin niyang gumastos nang mas maliit sa pamasahe pauwi. For that reason, I know he's hiding something.
Mamaya, I'm planning to talk to him so that we could settle things. By settle things, I mean to end whatever the fuck is happening between us because I can't take the pain anymore. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung paano ko i-aapproach sa kaniya. I actually want him to see this post of mine para hindi ko na directly sabihin.
So totoo nga na ang fwb relationship ay para lang sa mga may matitibay na sikmura. Yung mga walang attachment issues at yung mga hindi madaling ma-fall. Hindi ko alam mung paano ko kinayang tumagal ng halos isang taon sa ganito, pero I'm not recommending this kind of relationship to anybody. Guard your hearts, guys.

I am Uğur, a Turkish language teacher for foreigners, and I am 24 years old. I have taught classes at various universities in Central Asia and Africa. Now, I want to meet new cultures and people online. At the same time, I want to improve my English skills. You can message me if you'd like. If anyone is interested, I can offer free Turkish lessons. Or we can simply chat; we can talk about nature, sports, art, and literature. (please keep the conversation friendly! My only request is to practice English.)

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 82%. (I'm a bot)

Colombia's invasive hippo population is even larger than researchers had thought, according to the most thorough census of the animals conducted yet.
Scientists were already concerned about the hippos - considered the largest invasive animal in the world - threatening native plants and animals in the country, and had been calling for drastic measures to reduce the population.
Comprising researchers at the National University of Colombia in Bogotá, the Humboldt Institute and Cornare, an environmental body managing an area where the hippos live, the team made various trips in 2021 and 2022 by car, boat and on foot to count the hippos.
With serious attacks on humans in 2020 and 2021, and a car crash leaving a hippo dead on the highway in April, solutions are needed, scientists say.
The cost of killing the hippos must be weighed against that of losing native flora and fauna in Colombia - the second-most biodiverse country in the world - they add.
Nature asked the environment ministry how it would manage the growing hippo population, given the new findings, but it did not comment.

Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: hippo^#1 animal^#2 Colombia^#3 population^#4 research^#5
Post found in /worldnews, /NotTheOnionNoPolitics and /nottheonion.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.

Honestly? I have no idea how to start this one. In fact, I don't even know if I should post this, period. My parents brought me my phone a couple hours ago, and scrolling through YouTube and Reddit doesn't do much to take my mind off of things. I might as well write my heart out, right? Maybe somebody out there can find my story helpful, insightful, thoughtful... I dunno. Anyways, I might as well get writing before another couple officers walk in, looking for some details that they missed the last time I told them about what happened on June 3rd.
This part isn't exactly central to the story per se, but I'd like to just honor my buds, say what I thought about them before I forget. These guys, to me, were like a second family. The type of guys you'd call to help get rid off a body, the type of guys who would follow you anywhere. I've known them since I transferred in 4th grade. Only pair of dudes that would give me the time of day in the entire school, Andy and Gabriel. Andy was a sort of short and skinny guy, but he'd talk so much you'd swear he was six inches taller than he was. He'd always go on like he was God's greatest gift on Earth, especially when it came to sports. He'd yell Kobe and miss a rebound, or tell us to call him Messi and miss every goal. Your typical jokester. We didn't start off as friends either. It was around the fourth time
in the Office for fighting that I got wise, looked over at him, glanced at his bruised eye, then felt my own jaw. "Hey, we good? I got my licks-" I paused to scratch my cheek for effect- "and you definitely got yours..." Andy just looked me up and down once, checked himself, grinned like a Hyena and that was that. I met Gabriel through Andy. He was the only one of us you could call a popular kid. He's good at Baseball, really friggin' athletic, tall, built like a milk truck, and kind. Super kind. Like you could just ask him for a french fry, or a slice of bacon off his burger or something and he'd just do it. Didn't expect anything back. Didn't say anything. He'd glance up and just give you whatever you needed, no BS. We were walking back to Gabe's house after a party at a Junior's house, some slacker that wears a bunch of fake bling to school and takes "bathroom breaks" to vape in the stall. Some dude destined to be handing you a Big Mac in a couple years, you know? Not exactly the shining example of morality, not that I would know. Anyways, I really only showed up to shoot the shit with my buds and for some "apple juice" in those plastic red cups. I was going to bounce when I figured out this dude who was hosting the party, Mr. "I'm too cool for school", didn't have anything that could get me plastered. As it turns out, Gabriel wasn't feeling the party either, and Andy was "having no luck with the ladies", (Giggity,) so we all decided to nab a couple of waters and cookies for the road and stepped out into a warm summer evening. (Seriously, Andy gives me pedo vibes sometimes)
It wasn't exactly dark when we left the house. It was that perfect time of night where there was red, orange and purple reflecting off of the clouds in the sky. I snapped a photo 'cause I'm that kinda guy, and we started walking. This neighborhood was one of those aging 60's neighborhoods with all of the one story buildings, rusty chain-link fences, crack houses, senior citizens, that sort of stuff. Perfectly square blocks and blocks of houses with the peeling paint, broken sidewalks, barking dogs, you get the picture. If you were to think of the neighborhood from the top down, it would be like a big square with about three streets of depth inwards, with a big forest in the middle. Inconveniently, the party was in the western corner, while Gabe's house was down a slope, on the exact opposite side, the east side of the neighborhood. Basically a big pain in the posterior. Now just to be clear, we couldn't call Gabriel's mom for a pickup because of the nature of the party, and we weren't really feeling like taking the shortcut path through the woods at night, so we took the long way around. about a quarter of the way down, like 10-15 minutes into the walk, the lights lining the street flicked on. Now, that didn't bother us too much, because Gabe's casa was su casa, or whatever. In short, we had spent a lot of time walking around here before. Anyways, when the lights turned on they sort of dazzled my eyes, and a whole thing happened with me and the sidewalk called tripping. I went down and cut up my hands real nice and both of the guys turned around to help me up. It took them a second to spot me, because the lights lining the street were spaced in such a way that they would have a sort of staggered area of effect when they turned on. I had happened to trip right in one of the dark spots, so like I said, it took them a second to get me off of the ground. I got up, and did that thing you do when your hands hurt after a fall and you smack them together and rub them against your pants.
"You good?" asked Andy.
"Yeah yeah, I'm fine," I said, still slapping my thighs.
I looked up and saw somebody standing underneath the closest streetlamp. They were positioned in such a way that they faced the road from the lip of the sidewalk they stood on, with their head cocked slightly way from us and down, like they were staring intently at a bug or something in the road.
they guys must have seen me gazing off into the distance and they turned around to stare with me. the figure was around 20 feet away, right underneath the halo of light that the streetlamp made. they were wearing an old ice cream coat and uniform, like something out of the 60's. The folded cap on their head at a jaunty angle, a shock of slicked back golden hair just underneath it.
"Whaaaaat theeeee fuuuuuuck..?" I whisper to no one in particular.
When did he get there?
We had started walking towards the man, transfixed, and stopped just outside of the light's reach. He looked gaunt, sickly, almost. His mouth was pulled into a thin customer service sort of smile. the uniform he wore was a bit dirty, with a twig or two hanging from his pants like he had been running through the forest or something. that something on the ground seemed to be pretty interesting to him, so we all turned to try to sot what was capturing his attention. Looking back, I should have known right there. Have you ever seen someone doing or wearing or saying something that had compelled you to stare at them? Like a junkie downtown or some dude wearing a sign saying the end is nigh? And do you remember how you tried not to stare but kept that person in your peripheral vision, because they were interesting or suspicious or whatever? That's exactly what this guy was doing. He was looking at us. We never even noticed. Anyways, we hadn't seen anything on the ground so we looked back at this dude. BOOM! Instant time-out. Somewhere in that quick glance when we weren't paying attention, his head snaps up and locks us with this piercing stare. Now my heart's going a mile a minute. Fight or flight's kicked in and I tense up. my hands come up and I'm making fists. Meanwhile, the rational, thinking part of me is analyzing this guy. He hasn't broken that unnerving, artificial customer service smile. in fact, it looks almost wider, almost hungry. that's not the worst part. there's blood on his left thigh, black now after so much time. His eyes. I'm going to remember those eyes 'till the day I die. Even at night, his pupils were a darker black than anything in the world had any right to be. All consuming, omnipotent, soul-seeing eyes. The killing intent radiating from this thing was overpowering. Time-in.
"Jesus Christ!" Gabe barks.
It's the first time I've heard him swear. Andy's transfixed.
"What's the game plan?" I say, surprising myself with the icy calm in my own voice.
Andy's practically talking to himself. "I-I think we should-" he swallows audibly- "go around?"
The light creates an invisible barrier between us and the man-thing. we shuffle along the edges of each streetlight's effect. The neighborhood goes silent, save for a slight breeze along my back. every time i glance towards the ground to make sure I stay out of the light, he seems to get closer. of course he doesn't in actuality, because every time I look up in fear, he's still standing there, right there on the curb. We finally make it around that first light and turn around to face the second one. He's right there. Right on the border. that invisible line that separated the living from the dead.
Andy falls backwards. His arm falls into the light and instantly it's upon him. it's nails have turned into long, wicked claws. They rip into his upper arm and shoulder. It managed to nick his artery before we pull him out of the light. Andy is screaming bloody murder and I take off my shirt and tie it around the worst around the worst of his wounds. An uncaring, cold part of me surveys the damage and notes that Andy is unlikely to live more than an hour without emergency care. I hate that part of me. I hate how in that time of crisis, I could come to terms with one of my best friends dying to a freak on the street. Did it even matter? those years of friendship, now that I look back? That's one of the reasons I'm writing this story I guess. This story is me caring, right? The fact that I'm writing this shows I care, right? Anyways, in that instant I know we're screwed. there's no way we can get Andy back to Gabriel's house in time if we have to deal with this thing. The Ice-Cream Man surveyed his work as Gabe tried calling his mom for the fourth time. Andy had stopped screaming and passed out. I ended up holding his hand, staring up at this monster. It seemed to enjoy hurting us, enjoy it's handiwork. I grimaced and turned to Gabriel.
"Time to go, dude." Gabe looked up at me, still holding his buzzing cellphone to his ear. there was desperation and shock in his eyes, and I guess it was the same for me too. "We've got to go."
I made it clear this wasn't a conversation to be having.
It's sort of an open secret that I'm the thug of the school. At least, that's what everyone else thinks. It's not like I'll try to rob you or anything, but everyone knows that time I bent a kid's knee backwards. I didn't get into major trouble because of it, due to the fact there was a recording showing three guys ganging up on me, hurting me. I didn't have to make that kid a cripple, but I did. I got beaten for a year and a half, by those same three guys, and it all came out at once. I wanted to hurt him, and I did. but when you do that to someone, no matter how justified, people treat you different. especially when they're the same people who watched me get punched, and kicked, and hit, and put down. In a heartbeat, I was an untouchable. No more social life. No girlfriend, or anything like that. So, my only friends on this earth were Andy and Gabe. Blah blah blah, I'm sure you don't care about the sob story screw-up called my life. Anyways, the important part is that Gabe knew my business voice when I spoke.
"Okay, here's the idea." I glanced over to Mr. Freak. "We're going to take the forest path. It doesn't have any lights, so we'll be fine. if we move fast on the downhills, we can make it to your Mom's house and go to the hospital before..." I spared a glance to looked at Andy's face. he looked like he was sleeping. I felt around for his pulse.
He was still alive, thank God.
Gabe looked like he wanted to say something, and I knew exactly what he wanted to say. We were going to cross that bridge when we came to it.
We had, like I said, been around the block before. we made it to the trailhead, with that thing following us all of the way. jumping from streetlight to streetlight. The streetlight that would normally light the signpost and path into the forest was out, and it had been for years. That wasn't the issue. The issue was that the exit, the exit that was a short jog away from Gabe's house, had been replaced just last summer. we both knew that it was very likely that someone wouldn't make it. Gabe hoisted Andy into a fireman's carry, and we started our descent down the hill in silence. I made a sparing glance backwards, and there the Ice-Cream Man stood waiting.
It was hard keeping track of which trail we were on and where to turn in the pitch dark. It was around 10:00 now, and Andy seemed to get worse as time went on. We almost got lost a couple times, and we had to double back every now and again too. Gabriel and I said nothing as we went downhill. We said nothing when we saw the trail outlet at the bottom of the hill. We said nothing when the Ice-Cream Man appeared right underneath the lamppost. The sign read; "Rubicon Valley River Loop: 1.1 mi". We came right up to that invisible border again.
"I'll go first."
"Will you? We both know-"
"Shut the hell up and listen to me."
Gabriel. He was good at Baseball, really friggin' athletic, tall, built like a milk truck, and kind. Super kind. Like you could just ask him for a french fry, or a slice of bacon off his burger or something and he'd just do it. Even if there was a deadly monster chasing you, with his Mom's house just a short jog away. Even if you were willing to fight it instead, even if it didn't make sense for him to stay behind. Even if he knew you wouldn't want to keep living without him and Andy. Didn't expect anything back. Didn't say anything. Even though I'm writing this story just 6 hours later, I can't remember for the life of me how I got across that halo of light without him right behind me. Gabe's Mom flew down the porch when I rounded the corner of the cul-de-sac. I bet she was wondering why we were home so late, why Gabriel wasn't with us, why I was staying clear of the streetlights.
I remember her asking me where her niño was.
When I woke up in the hospital, the police asked me where the wolves attacked us. I didn't correct them. What was the point? I assume they knew what was actually out there. After all, wolves bite and tear. It was just a line for the news stations. Turns out I was raked across the back by a wolf too. The doctors told me I was very lucky. They said if Gabe's Mom was a second slower getting us to the ER, I would have ended up like Andy. I feel cold. I haven't been crying. Do I even care? I feel like I'm a horrible person. I hope that I'm allowed to go to their funerals, pay my respects. My Dad has a Machete hidden under the bed. That Ice-Cream Man better be counting every second he has left, because I'm going to do more than bend his knee backwards next June 3rd.

All this nonsense was after I'm started as soon as I left my country (Russia). It wasn’t really a day like I wake up and this started. It was slightly getting worse for 7 months. I got sick in Armenia, with god know what, and I wasn’t suspecting Covid at that time. after 1 round of antibiotics, I thought I'm fine. I was in the rush to help myself to heal, as I’m coming to Mexico in 2 weeks. Then suddenly all my hotels started to decline in like 2 weeks to head to OAE. 1 week in UAE was fine, I was with my brother, but we started to argue like crazy, because he got the tournament in sports in active mode, and seems like he didnt wanted to spend time with me. We was living separately, because first agreed to live in the hotel my Mom booked for me, but it’s has been declined, so he switched to his BJJ team option, and was living with them. So I booked super expensive hotel because it was F1 started in abu - Dhabi. No way I have this bad luck bro…and all hotels was stuffed with tourists. End up sleeping in a small room no windows god know who’s been there, not a safely sterile place to be. I was mad at my brother and never talked to him again for a 2 months until I’m back to hometown. Out there started noticing that I’m tolerate to Arabic smells. It was strange but I just let it go cuz I have bigger thing on my check list. I was feeling like I’m not completely come off this condition as it was in Armenia. But I let it go. Then suddenly on my departure day, the guard don’t let me go to the flight on Abu - Dhabi - Paris - Cancun flight, out of nowhere, because I have Russian docs leaving Armenia territory? I started noticed something is ain’t right with my Carma or something. I’m flying to Turkey to fly from there. I’m already was feeling exhausted from that day. And I think it’s the virus started to kick in as cytokine storm. Successfully departured and dropped in Cancun. Migracion control don’t let me go out for 30 minutes (only in my case), all of the passengers entered In the country with no issues. 3 days in was very beautiful! Breathing good, no issues. Swimming in ocean, USA on the way, life is great and full of opportunities. Then this wild sh with sinusitis happend, 37,7 temperature for a whole month, really crazy breathing pattern? I thought I’m having asthma as I’m in new side of world? No. Moved to matamoris, I was also been finnesed 3 times while in Mexico. Why me? Body itching, brain fog started. I was the only one who was waited THAT long to cross the border (I was with the church method, it’s paid, and usually they let u cross in 1-2 week). I was waiting 1,5 month. Then stomach problems, then can't tolerate any high in histamine food. I’m guessing at that time i was having pneumonia but it was unnoticed. When I was crossing the border man… let me tell that…. I was SICK. I was red, temperature 38, cough started. While in USA, owners kicked me out of rented apartments multiple times out of no where… then I went to ER and they find pneumothorax with pleuritis out of nowhere… 4 times in ER… then somebody try to snatch me and human trafficked me. What’s that all about? Got luck to be alive and dropped on the Irvine highway. many doctors… run out of money… flight back to Russia without of doubts. My body betrayed me and my plans. Somebody playing with my soul and I have no Luck living as an immigrant, near to death experience. In my hometown, all the tests came back normal. I’m out of mind thinking I’m tweaking cuz of that. Ct scans of lungs - but without contrast - clean. Ultrasound of the heart clean, thyroid clean, ECG clean, visits to gastroenterologist - same pills, same treatment that don’t work.. PPI f up my stomach even more. except for spirometry, it was awful like I have COPD pattern?! 63% of the lung capacity. Constricted airways? Pulmonologist didn’t say nothing at all. My cognitive functions seems disappeared, I can’t remember things, slurping my words, can’t thinks of multiple thing of one time, I’m hearing sounds ridiculously weird, like they on the foreground, my movement not stable, I’m not feeling time at all, like I’m an alien. I can’t breathe. Like I’m breathing continuously in brochoconstriction. My chest is tight and I’m out of breath and have crazy dyspnea walking place to place. Still walking 5 km a days and don’t wanna be a sick dude. I do it, my principals don’t let me be bed bounded. Even some days I bed bounded like crazy. That's crazy cuz I was thinking I had lung cancer. Still do sometimes. But later I catch on, thats a LONG COVID. Tried COPD inhalers and whole lotta asthmatic stuff, only improvement cuz of COPD inhaler. Spirometry slightly improved in 3 month. But right now I'm still feeling like I can't breathe normal, like it’s in spasm all the time, even vapes with nicotine… the nicotine not even absorbing in mu lungs? Just tried it tho. like I’m not connected to this universe, I can’t feel my body, I’m starting to have suicidal thoughs. I tried antidepressants, almost 2 months slightly improved my fatigue and miserableness. feels like my bronchi constricted all the time, I can’t even control it.. I look like a completely healthy person to people and they don’t know what’s wrong with me. Either I have COPD because of COVID (I don't cough at all) or I have lung embolism (never did a CT with constrast). Or somebody f… me up and I got demons or whatever., month of arguing with my pulmonologist, now he's done referred me to it. I also have POTS, MCAS. feeling like I'm high all the time. Also GERD just pissing me off, it's so annoying. I never the same as way back…. On my treatment plan is basic supplements like vitamin D,C, Magnesium, Antihistamines 3 times a week, I theanine + glutamine (very helping me with flare ups and I can even drink coffee without feeling V stoopid and brain fog), NMD, trying nattokinase for the first time (got a slight flare up for about 2-3 hours, then feeling okay, I can breathe more), and I'm waiting for ivermectin and oregano oil pills. But what help me the most, it’s the masseur who did something with energy … 4 days in a row now I feel like my consciousness get back to me! But not 100%. Still can’t breathe tho.
What do I do? I hate me for this mistake! to leave my country as a 100% healthy educational kid with a purpose and motivation > only to spend like 40 racks and catch a deadly autoimmune disease, to be miserable and only research what’s wrong with me on daily basis. Help.

I am Uğur, a Turkish language teacher for foreigners, and I am 24 years old. I have taught classes at various universities in Central Asia and Africa. Now, I want to meet new cultures and people online. At the same time, I want to improve my English skills. You can message me if you'd like. If anyone is interested, I can offer free Turkish lessons. Or we can simply chat; we can talk about nature, sports, art, and literature. (please keep the conversation friendly! My only request is to practice English.)

I’m a Singaporean undergrad who recently finished my second year of university in the US. Bar a catastrophe, I will be working on Wall Street next summer at a bulge bracket investment bank.
I am counting the days till my current internship starts and I want to help other Singaporeans thinking of studying in the US and working towards a career in high finance. When I was in JC and NS, I had next to no people to ask for advice so I hope this can help at least one prospective student out there.
Background: I grew up in SG, went to a decent JC, decided to apply overseas for Uni during NS, got into a decently well-known U.S. university. I spent my freshman year assimilating into American culture, joined a college fraternity and the relevant finance clubs on campus, and spent the rest of the year chasing girls and partying. Getting over the culture shock and learning to act/speak/carry myself like an American through these social activities proved to be surprisingly valuable in prepping me for recruiting - it got me used to speaking confidently and smooth talking a lot of people.
I worked an unpaid finance internship back in SG for my freshman summer, and because recruiting for your main big-boy internship during your Y3 summer is so heavily accelerated (banks will start recruiting in January of Y2 for June of Y3), this Mickey Mouse freshman internship came in clutch for boosting my resume on top of all the other stuff I had on it.
At the end of my freshman summer, I managed to bag a sophomore summer internship in one of the Big 4 in NYC. Will be starting work here next week. When 2024 summer recruiting kicked off this January, I slapped this on my resume as “Incoming Summer Intern” for a job that wasn’t starting for half a year, while recruiting for jobs a year and a half away. Crazy, I know.
I then went through the past semester on an insane networking and interview prep grind. After firing off hundreds of cold emails, taking 50+ phone calls and coffee chats, going for every career fair and event I could and ultimately interviewing at a couple of firms, I managed to bag a front office sell-side role at a household-name bulge bracket bank in NYC next summer.
Overall, the journey has been extremely challenging. Recruiting in the current down market + being an international overrepresented Asian male student was made even tougher by a lot of personal issues I was enduring throughout this year. Make no mistake, this result is the culmination of years of targeted grinding and preparation. It’s not entirely over yet as I have to perform during my internships, but I feel like I’m in a good position to be able to provide relevant and up to date advice to other Singaporeans aspiring to follow the same path.
Ask me anything about US finance recruiting or US college life in general.

I am Uğur, a Turkish language teacher for foreigners, and I am 24 years old. I have taught classes at various universities in Central Asia and Africa. Now, I want to meet new cultures and people online. At the same time, I want to improve my English skills. You can message me if you'd like. If anyone is interested, I can offer free Turkish lessons. Or we can simply chat; we can talk about nature, sports, art, and literature. (please keep the conversation friendly! My only request is to practice English.)

In my gfs past relationship, she told me that she used to pay for his bills because he needed help. Now I can’t even get her to pay for a single date date. We have been dating for 6 months and she hasn’t bought me a Christmas gift, Valentine’s Day gift or any gift at that matter. She hasn’t paid for date at all and we’ve been on over 50+!! She tells me she’s not use to having to pay for dates for men and she never did in her last relationship but she paid for his bills and thinks that’s normal? In our 6 months together, I bought her a lot of Christmas gifts, Valentine’s Day gift, flowers every week and gifts randomly every month. I feel like it’s my duty to do those things. I’m not even asking for the exact same back but I literally have not felt appreciated in any way. Whenever I bring it up, she gets mad and try’s to flip it on me and says I’m trying to bring her down. She ended up asking me make a list last Christmas and gave me nothing. She asked for 7 things and I got her everything but 2. I feel used. I have spent thousands of dollars on this girl if I was to calculate everything. Now she wants me to get her a laptop bc it’ll help her start an online business and managing her finances. This is also bc she needs to return her college iPad back to school now that it is ending.
She also wants me to take her to Punta Cana for her birthday in two months. All while having nothing in return but her making me breakfast twice in 6 months (stopped bc she says she not my wife) and buying me snacks from Target here and there. I even took her to Chicago for 4 days in January and covered everything. Am I being used? What should l I do? She was able pay for her ex bfs bills but won’t even pay for one single date for me.
Now to put thing into context, I graduated last year with a Bachelor’s in Electrical Engineering. I got a job back in July making 78K so I’m financially able to pay for things but I also need to move out, save, get a new car, help my mom, etc. She is still in school for architecture and has about a year left. She was not working for months and I felt it was bc I was almost paying for a lot for her so she was comfortable depleting her savings for her monthly bills. I was in her exact situation last year so I feel bad and always want to help her out in any way, but I have things to pay for on my own. She kept wanting to do side hustles as her income for months until I told her she needs to get a real job for guaranteed money. Her response was that I have a “9-5” mindset and we had issues in the relationship that last for weeks until she broke up with me last week bc she felt “overwhelmed”. A week and a half later she calls me crying and says she misses me and I obviously still love her so I took her back. In that time span we broke up, she lost some weight and only ate once a day at times. She also got 3 jobs in between that time. Almost like she needed to not experience life with me to appreciate me and she realized what I did for her and asked for me back. She lives by herself, has car payments and credit cards to pay off.
My brother, sister and I were all in the same situation in college and all worked multiple jobs whether we wanted to or not to be able to handle things ourselves. We relied on no one, not even our own mother who couldn’t even help financially as much. We all made it out to be successful so at times I want her to understand that she shouldn’t rely on me too much, but on the other side what would it be for me to be able to help but choosing not to as she vents to be about it? Like I just made it out and I’m trying it build myself and my career but I also feel like there’s no greater investment than love. What do I do now ? Do you think I am being used ? How do I go about talking it her without her getting mad? Should I buy her this laptop and trip for her birthday?