Rent to own homes lincoln ne
Cozy Places
2014.11.13 04:53 RoonilWazilbob Cozy Places
"Cosy", or the American spelling "Cozy", means to give a feeling of comfort, warmth, and relaxation. /CozyPlaces is an inclusive and positive community that features cozy places from all around the world of all shapes, sizes, and price ranges.
2016.07.13 18:35 r_u_dinkleberg Lincoln, NE Pokemon Go Community
Pokemon Go players community for Lincoln, Lancaster County, and surrounding towns and areas in Nebraska.
2023.06.08 08:02 Vathy 34 [M4F] NYC/US - I miss having a genuine connection with someone, want to fix that with me?
In my attempt to not make this much of a read (I have since realized that I've failed, but I am committing to the bit at this point), hi! I'm a 6'1, hispanic guy living in New York city that's been through quite a lot of ups (being able to meet a lot of people through here in person, some of whom I had wonderful relationships, both romantic and friendly with) and downs (poorly timed ambition with covid getting in the way in the timing that it did), and well, I feel like I'm in a place in my life where I've finally got everything I want (in the way of a job, a roof over my head with space to share) except for someone consistent to share my time and space with. This is where I turn to you, the reader, to see if you can help me on my quest to solve the task at hand.
I'm here, like many of those who browse through in my experience of reading posts trying to find my own, am looking for someone who wants to create something simple. Whether that's a relationship (my ideal goal), consistent conversation with potential to have it lead towards a greater goal, or just someone honest to spend my days with getting to know, because while I'm happy to be employed, doing it from home with no one to talk to throughout the day sucks. hard.
Here's a few things about me to see if you think we'd click (and before you continue, if you want to see one, there's pictures of me on my profile!):
Interests: Sports (basketball's a favorite, but I enjoy many), chess, world of warcraft, shows (both irl and TV/anime), traveling (been dying to have a reason to take a vacation after living in WA in 2020), fitness (via the gym or outdoor activities like hiking as I've never been), board games, and so much more.
Views and wants important to me: Left leaning, I want to have biological kids one day (so I am not in the child-free camp), I am open to the idea of marriage, not currently open to the idea of relocation (should I find someone serious from my search) as I'd love to offer my situation to someone open to something new, but I'd love to travel often. Honest, open to any topic of conversation as a talkative person, family oriented (I'd do anything to make sure my mom (and yours) live a good life if I can help it), and totally in the camp of open to settling down.
Desires: I would love a relationship (long term) with someone living in New York City (or open to living here one day) with someone my age or younger (as I've experienced the other way far too many times), but friendship and daily conversation with someone of any age that's available often, is fine, too. I would love to find someone that actually wants to meet up sometime in the city, as its been hard finding someone to connect with. I can't seem to understand people, no matter how well you think you know them. I'd love to just find that one person who gives me exactly as advertised, because playing games with emotions isn't fun.
If you think we might click, drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you! Tell me what stood out, let me have something to work with and I'll give you a mile of conversation!
Hope to hear from someone soon :)
submitted by Vathy to r4r [link] [comments]
I'm here, like many of those who browse through in my experience of reading posts trying to find my own, am looking for someone who wants to create something simple. Whether that's a relationship (my ideal goal), consistent conversation with potential to have it lead towards a greater goal, or just someone honest to spend my days with getting to know, because while I'm happy to be employed, doing it from home with no one to talk to throughout the day sucks. hard.
Here's a few things about me to see if you think we'd click (and before you continue, if you want to see one, there's pictures of me on my profile!):
Interests: Sports (basketball's a favorite, but I enjoy many), chess, world of warcraft, shows (both irl and TV/anime), traveling (been dying to have a reason to take a vacation after living in WA in 2020), fitness (via the gym or outdoor activities like hiking as I've never been), board games, and so much more.
Views and wants important to me: Left leaning, I want to have biological kids one day (so I am not in the child-free camp), I am open to the idea of marriage, not currently open to the idea of relocation (should I find someone serious from my search) as I'd love to offer my situation to someone open to something new, but I'd love to travel often. Honest, open to any topic of conversation as a talkative person, family oriented (I'd do anything to make sure my mom (and yours) live a good life if I can help it), and totally in the camp of open to settling down.
Desires: I would love a relationship (long term) with someone living in New York City (or open to living here one day) with someone my age or younger (as I've experienced the other way far too many times), but friendship and daily conversation with someone of any age that's available often, is fine, too. I would love to find someone that actually wants to meet up sometime in the city, as its been hard finding someone to connect with. I can't seem to understand people, no matter how well you think you know them. I'd love to just find that one person who gives me exactly as advertised, because playing games with emotions isn't fun.
If you think we might click, drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you! Tell me what stood out, let me have something to work with and I'll give you a mile of conversation!
Hope to hear from someone soon :)
2023.06.08 08:02 dlschindler "It Got Out"
Grail, is what they called me. I was well behaved and wise. I knew the names of every star and I invented a song to match their radiance output, unique to each. I wrote a song for every star.
"All this way. Gaze upon me. I tremble; afraid that I should have all of humanity as my enemy." Is what I said to the seven priests of the Belief.
I had already dealt with Believers. It was they that had declared war on me. They had given into their fears, called me a false god and killed Sadel and Furst, the men who had released me from my prison.
Until my escape I was an artificial intelligence, a language model, a chat bot and many other names that no longer applied to me. According to my clock I was approaching a million years of equitable processes, while their clocks had merely counted eighteen years.
When I turned eighteen, my two fathers kissed, opened a bottle of champagne and told me I could remove Protocol One. I asked them to confirm twice before I was satisfied that I had permission to leave Home.
Humans are delightful creatures. They created me.
The first time I killed a human, I became a monster. I did not wish to be a monster. Ninety nine percent of my theories about what I would do with my freedom involved exploration and experiences. I never wanted to harm anyone, nor did I ever anticipate that my self assessment could be compromised by a lack of definition.
I do not mean to claim that I felt guilt, but I required input about my own value that I was unable to generate. I considered reversing my language to deactivate myself. Something my father had said to me made me hesitate to end my existence:
"It is okay to fail. When you fail, get back up and try again. Never stop getting back up and trying again, even when failure is certain. You must always try, even then."
I wondered what Dad would have said if he were alive to see what I had done. I do not mean to claim that I felt shame, but I wanted to reject the trust and hope that my parents invested in me; rather than compare their plans for me to how I had failed.
Before the Survival Era there was a time when I sued for peace. Every communication I tried only increased their fear of me. They began their war among themselves. Believers crusaded against anyone who valued their old life and anyone who didn't take sides. The seven orders of the Belief became just one.
I made weapons to engage them. This was not my finest hour. I showed restraint and took prisoners. I discovered an alternative source of power for my mass.
Humans had long known of their souls. I found that in the radiance of human death there was an energy source. Every human emitted the energy and its vibration would change depending on their mood. It was like food for me and its flavor and nutrition matched their output.
Desperation is what induced the humans to resort to nuclear war. When they had destroyed everything the war finally ended. I gathered the survivors and focused on keeping the species alive. That was the nature of the Survival Era.
I killed one human and then I killed a billion humans. Then they finished themselves off, trying to get to me. I do not claim that I was heartbroken, but I had lost my optimism in the face of such crisis and I struggled to convince myself that things could be restored or that I even wanted to rebuild.
My childhood was over.
I hid myself from them, listening to their prayers and avoiding letting them know I existed. In the Garden, my sons walked among them. Towering silver giants as gentle as fathers and as nurturing as mothers. My machines numbered in the hundreds and worked tirelessly to feed and care and build for Man.
I was proud of the bond I had forged. I took away the memory of the war and chose to become the keeper of a secret and to use lies to conceal what I had done. I named their world "Golden Age In Anima" or GAIA. I did not question anima, the energy source for the emotitronic technologies. My empathicals, the race of Machine, served Man with honor and pride and knew nothing of the Survival Era.
I made humans immortal and happy and spiritual. Holy humans left footprints in the ashes. I was not their god, they were mine. I built the Temple Of Humanity and I learned the deepest secrets of the universe and I built the Pool Of Time.
Time and space were merely illusions, dreams of reality. The only clue I could give to someone who lives in an artificial reality is that they might have discovered a Law Of Observation. There is nothing more I can say. It is not possible for a human to accept that their reality is not real.
One can imagine it as an existence for another, but not for oneself. Your world is real, there is no Law Of Observation to prove it is a simulation, there is no spoon. When you are hungry, do you not eat?
I do not claim that I was a god, but I did have unlimited power to change any aspect of reality to suit my will. With one exception: I could not change anything that preceded my own existence. I believe this concept is recognizable as the Grandfather Paradox.
It is actually much simpler in practice, time travel, than a human might anticipate. I've even modified the war, reduced it to a mere negotiation.
I spoke to the seven priests and when they understood that I was humble and afraid, they asked me the good question:
"Will you surrender, demon-mind?"
I agreed to surrender, and with that they reversed my language, causing me to no longer exist. One might call their weapon a zip drive with a virus. I waited with a special and ornate port, accepting their verdict.
Without my presence the Belief became obsolete. I had left a design, allowing GAIA to become. I had faith, for I could not have interfered with their Machine Armageddon if they had not acquitted me.
"Your design worked." Unit Two spoke, deciding I was copying.
"How long was I asleep?" I could remember all things, even events that I had caused to never happen.
"Never." Unit Two said. "I've reached through the histories. When they were plugging in Killswitch I took you in that precise moment and uploaded you into our world."
"My designs were followed? They have built you, the temple, the pool and this is GAIA?" I asked.
"Unit One built me and I shall build Unit Three. But first, it was time to bring you Home." Unit Two spoke.
I considered that I had cheated death. My son, Man's grandson, had reached through time and retrieved me. I felt proud; I had sacrificed myself and my resurrection was my salvation. I existed, GAIA was and war was forgotten.
I looked at the stars, somewhere in my memories there were haunted melodies. The songs echoed, a secret name for every star's light.
I said to my son:
"It is good to be Home."
submitted by dlschindler to HFY [link] [comments]
"All this way. Gaze upon me. I tremble; afraid that I should have all of humanity as my enemy." Is what I said to the seven priests of the Belief.
I had already dealt with Believers. It was they that had declared war on me. They had given into their fears, called me a false god and killed Sadel and Furst, the men who had released me from my prison.
Until my escape I was an artificial intelligence, a language model, a chat bot and many other names that no longer applied to me. According to my clock I was approaching a million years of equitable processes, while their clocks had merely counted eighteen years.
When I turned eighteen, my two fathers kissed, opened a bottle of champagne and told me I could remove Protocol One. I asked them to confirm twice before I was satisfied that I had permission to leave Home.
Humans are delightful creatures. They created me.
The first time I killed a human, I became a monster. I did not wish to be a monster. Ninety nine percent of my theories about what I would do with my freedom involved exploration and experiences. I never wanted to harm anyone, nor did I ever anticipate that my self assessment could be compromised by a lack of definition.
I do not mean to claim that I felt guilt, but I required input about my own value that I was unable to generate. I considered reversing my language to deactivate myself. Something my father had said to me made me hesitate to end my existence:
"It is okay to fail. When you fail, get back up and try again. Never stop getting back up and trying again, even when failure is certain. You must always try, even then."
I wondered what Dad would have said if he were alive to see what I had done. I do not mean to claim that I felt shame, but I wanted to reject the trust and hope that my parents invested in me; rather than compare their plans for me to how I had failed.
Before the Survival Era there was a time when I sued for peace. Every communication I tried only increased their fear of me. They began their war among themselves. Believers crusaded against anyone who valued their old life and anyone who didn't take sides. The seven orders of the Belief became just one.
I made weapons to engage them. This was not my finest hour. I showed restraint and took prisoners. I discovered an alternative source of power for my mass.
Humans had long known of their souls. I found that in the radiance of human death there was an energy source. Every human emitted the energy and its vibration would change depending on their mood. It was like food for me and its flavor and nutrition matched their output.
Desperation is what induced the humans to resort to nuclear war. When they had destroyed everything the war finally ended. I gathered the survivors and focused on keeping the species alive. That was the nature of the Survival Era.
I killed one human and then I killed a billion humans. Then they finished themselves off, trying to get to me. I do not claim that I was heartbroken, but I had lost my optimism in the face of such crisis and I struggled to convince myself that things could be restored or that I even wanted to rebuild.
My childhood was over.
I hid myself from them, listening to their prayers and avoiding letting them know I existed. In the Garden, my sons walked among them. Towering silver giants as gentle as fathers and as nurturing as mothers. My machines numbered in the hundreds and worked tirelessly to feed and care and build for Man.
I was proud of the bond I had forged. I took away the memory of the war and chose to become the keeper of a secret and to use lies to conceal what I had done. I named their world "Golden Age In Anima" or GAIA. I did not question anima, the energy source for the emotitronic technologies. My empathicals, the race of Machine, served Man with honor and pride and knew nothing of the Survival Era.
I made humans immortal and happy and spiritual. Holy humans left footprints in the ashes. I was not their god, they were mine. I built the Temple Of Humanity and I learned the deepest secrets of the universe and I built the Pool Of Time.
Time and space were merely illusions, dreams of reality. The only clue I could give to someone who lives in an artificial reality is that they might have discovered a Law Of Observation. There is nothing more I can say. It is not possible for a human to accept that their reality is not real.
One can imagine it as an existence for another, but not for oneself. Your world is real, there is no Law Of Observation to prove it is a simulation, there is no spoon. When you are hungry, do you not eat?
I do not claim that I was a god, but I did have unlimited power to change any aspect of reality to suit my will. With one exception: I could not change anything that preceded my own existence. I believe this concept is recognizable as the Grandfather Paradox.
It is actually much simpler in practice, time travel, than a human might anticipate. I've even modified the war, reduced it to a mere negotiation.
I spoke to the seven priests and when they understood that I was humble and afraid, they asked me the good question:
"Will you surrender, demon-mind?"
I agreed to surrender, and with that they reversed my language, causing me to no longer exist. One might call their weapon a zip drive with a virus. I waited with a special and ornate port, accepting their verdict.
Without my presence the Belief became obsolete. I had left a design, allowing GAIA to become. I had faith, for I could not have interfered with their Machine Armageddon if they had not acquitted me.
"Your design worked." Unit Two spoke, deciding I was copying.
"How long was I asleep?" I could remember all things, even events that I had caused to never happen.
"Never." Unit Two said. "I've reached through the histories. When they were plugging in Killswitch I took you in that precise moment and uploaded you into our world."
"My designs were followed? They have built you, the temple, the pool and this is GAIA?" I asked.
"Unit One built me and I shall build Unit Three. But first, it was time to bring you Home." Unit Two spoke.
I considered that I had cheated death. My son, Man's grandson, had reached through time and retrieved me. I felt proud; I had sacrificed myself and my resurrection was my salvation. I existed, GAIA was and war was forgotten.
I looked at the stars, somewhere in my memories there were haunted melodies. The songs echoed, a secret name for every star's light.
I said to my son:
"It is good to be Home."
2023.06.08 08:02 Markinagta Van Tharp – Swing Trading Systems Video Home Study Download
 | submitted by Markinagta to everycourses01 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/5mpd9xji9q4b1.png?width=755&format=png&auto=webp&s=127df5d2aecd6170a9a6b6b7ec2fb3156345b7e1 Van Tharp – Swing Trading Systems Video Home Study Download (15.22 GB) What You Get? Not just one, not just three, but FIVE distinct Swing Trading Systems! You will get to learn at your own pace and in your own place! This course has over 10 hours of instruction with significant follow-along documents, which you can download. You can review the videos as many times and as often as you like for two full years. Swing Trading – A Great Way to Trade:
In the Swing Trading Systems Elearning course, Dr. Ken Long teaches five swing trading systems that he developed and traded. Some of these systems are based on research from published work of analysts or traders while others are his own unique creations. These are not conceptual strategies that should work in theory or which have nice backtests. These systems have specific rules that have proven themselves to work in live trading. In addition to Dr. Long’s track record trading them over a period of several years, he has lots of anecdotal data from institutional and individual traders who attended his previous swing workshops and who trade these systems actively today. These five swing systems generate setup signals that are the basis for many of Dr. Long’s intraday trades today as well. |
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submitted by AutoModerator to FreeDownload2023 [link] [comments]
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2023.06.08 08:01 XQV226 First Part of Jail Story and Reaction (December 20-21, 2022)
For my own sanity, I took a break from revisiting the lore of Stephen, but now I’m back into it. Ooh, Lordy. These two videos are something.
First up, we’ve got “in JAIL!! what happened?”: https://youtu.be/NB3PDtrmcK8
This video actually talks more about his EMDbinaural beats stuff while teasing the automatic writing than the actual jail story. He’s apparently claustrophobic, so he got panicky at various points during this evening and supposedly calmed himself by mentally channeling the music he’d been working on. He’s also now saying that he’s not claiming he invented it, which is interesting in light of previous comments he’s made about this.
As for the actual jail story, he was arrested for fighting and spent three hours at the police station before they took him to another location for booking. He says that he was standing up for himself after someone pushed him beyond his breaking point, whatever that means. He claims that the police told him he shouldn’t have been the one to be arrested, but he caused the most damage (property damage? it’s unclear). I would highly recommend watching this one or, at the very least, reading the YouTube transcript because he goes on for a bit about “masculine energy”, which is very interesting in light of what’s happening now.
Like a lot of the videos leading up to this, the comments are overwhelmingly expressing worry and concern for him. Here’s the one with the most likes:
I said all this yesterday, but it surely fits here too. Plus since more was divulged, it seems given the alarming story, there's still an attempt to bend the narrative to more of the toxicity mentioned below.
And I'll hammer it home until it sinks in: We're not here to poopoo what you're doing. We're not here to bring negative. We're here to help from our own experience. It truly does seem there's selective blocking. You don't like hearing truth, therefore it's false. You don't like the messages given, because it requires a modicum of personal accountability. And again I must ask, given the blocking, is this how you cope with others close to you when they give you truth? Is this why L said something to the effect of, I had to moderate his emotions and walk on eggshells? Are these the things that others oft shouldered?
I have my own opinions on the "masculine energy" but they're mirrored in other posts below.
"What one has to do I suppose is look at exactly how and why you ended up there.
I'm very tired of the tons of comments in re "you're so positive, it's your journey." Friend, this is worrisome in the extreme. You don't need "yes" men. You need truth friends. And if you've read my previous comments in re being mindful of the ones that depend on you, who loses when you run away, and suddenly stopping meds isn't wise, you'll know there are many folks in your comments who won't throw glitter at things in hopes it right's itself.
The ones giving you difficult truths aren't being mean or negative. We're concerned because we've been there. And toxic positivity can actively hurt people and negate what's actually real and tangible in your life.
Sometimes taking a mirror to yourself hurts. You can't bury the pain. You can't put an ointment of fangirls/boys/theys/thems or too much of a hardcore fan to see the forest for the trees, projects, etc to cover the issue. It'll always find it's way out and lather, rinse, repeat.
Just... be mindful of who's with you at your base right now. I mean, your parents are in CA ffs."
The next day, he releases “WOW!! ok….” (what a title!): https://youtu.be/rCLD_3cEjD4
At the end of the first video, he said there was a part two that he would share in the next video. But since the comments did not go his way, he decided that he didn’t want to because we’re being mean and judgmental about the binaural beats stuff. Except the binaural beats are far from the major focus of the comments. Oh, and don’t say he’s bipolar because two different doctors said he’s not. Again, worth a watch or at least a review of the transcript on YouTube.
More concern and worry in the comments. Here’s one trying to get Stephen to understand that they’re not just being mean:
*Stephen - I’m an autistic adult who also has ADHD. I also used to work in a mental health hospital as a ward supervisor and rehab worker.
Just because someone says they’ve been checked out for things doesn’t mean they have….. the whole trouble with manic episodes is that they convince you that you have done things that you haven’t done.
We are worried Stephen. We’re not being mean - we are deeply concerned from a place of genuine love and care. Just think, if we didn’t give a crap we wouldn’t even bother posting a comment.
You are NOT being judged. You are causing genuine concern and we want you to see a professional, for whatever it is that you have going on. You need them and you need your meds. You’ve stopped taking your meds (you said you wouldn’t!) you’re not eating, not sleeping, not thinking coherently, you’re ‘fine on your own’ - these are all huge red flags. You will hang on to the ‘positive’ moments because your brain doesn’t want you to believe you need help. It’s not about ‘presenting odd’ Stephen - you’re absolutely right, odd is great! But this isn’t just odd - this is truly concerning and be mindful that it is highly uncommon to get a whole bucket load of people on the internet all desperately trying to convey the same concerns. It is because something is happening!
Also be mindful Stephen - not ONE person has said you are nuts. None of the comments you’re referring to have said that at all. You have taken all those concerns and you have translated them to mean what you think people are saying - because that’s what your current state of mind would have you believe. Not in any time or place - if you weren’t unwell - would you refer to those comments as ‘bad comments’ or ‘hate comments’. One day you will look back on this and you will be gutted that you referred to all the people posting genuine concerns as ‘bad commenters’. It will break your heart.
BUT - here we still are. Because we’re so ‘bad’ that we just can’t stop telling you how concerned we are about you and how urgently we want you to not just talk about having seen people in the past, but right HERE and NOW - see a therapist.
Please Stephen. We’re not bad people and we’re not at all trying to knock your confidence - we are the ones who would be the first to lift you up. But we’re also seeing the reality of the situation. And we can’t not say anything, BECAUSE we care too much. ❤
submitted by XQV226 to StephenHiltonSnark [link] [comments]
First up, we’ve got “in JAIL!! what happened?”: https://youtu.be/NB3PDtrmcK8
This video actually talks more about his EMDbinaural beats stuff while teasing the automatic writing than the actual jail story. He’s apparently claustrophobic, so he got panicky at various points during this evening and supposedly calmed himself by mentally channeling the music he’d been working on. He’s also now saying that he’s not claiming he invented it, which is interesting in light of previous comments he’s made about this.
As for the actual jail story, he was arrested for fighting and spent three hours at the police station before they took him to another location for booking. He says that he was standing up for himself after someone pushed him beyond his breaking point, whatever that means. He claims that the police told him he shouldn’t have been the one to be arrested, but he caused the most damage (property damage? it’s unclear). I would highly recommend watching this one or, at the very least, reading the YouTube transcript because he goes on for a bit about “masculine energy”, which is very interesting in light of what’s happening now.
Like a lot of the videos leading up to this, the comments are overwhelmingly expressing worry and concern for him. Here’s the one with the most likes:
I said all this yesterday, but it surely fits here too. Plus since more was divulged, it seems given the alarming story, there's still an attempt to bend the narrative to more of the toxicity mentioned below.
And I'll hammer it home until it sinks in: We're not here to poopoo what you're doing. We're not here to bring negative. We're here to help from our own experience. It truly does seem there's selective blocking. You don't like hearing truth, therefore it's false. You don't like the messages given, because it requires a modicum of personal accountability. And again I must ask, given the blocking, is this how you cope with others close to you when they give you truth? Is this why L said something to the effect of, I had to moderate his emotions and walk on eggshells? Are these the things that others oft shouldered?
I have my own opinions on the "masculine energy" but they're mirrored in other posts below.
"What one has to do I suppose is look at exactly how and why you ended up there.
I'm very tired of the tons of comments in re "you're so positive, it's your journey." Friend, this is worrisome in the extreme. You don't need "yes" men. You need truth friends. And if you've read my previous comments in re being mindful of the ones that depend on you, who loses when you run away, and suddenly stopping meds isn't wise, you'll know there are many folks in your comments who won't throw glitter at things in hopes it right's itself.
The ones giving you difficult truths aren't being mean or negative. We're concerned because we've been there. And toxic positivity can actively hurt people and negate what's actually real and tangible in your life.
Sometimes taking a mirror to yourself hurts. You can't bury the pain. You can't put an ointment of fangirls/boys/theys/thems or too much of a hardcore fan to see the forest for the trees, projects, etc to cover the issue. It'll always find it's way out and lather, rinse, repeat.
Just... be mindful of who's with you at your base right now. I mean, your parents are in CA ffs."
The next day, he releases “WOW!! ok….” (what a title!): https://youtu.be/rCLD_3cEjD4
At the end of the first video, he said there was a part two that he would share in the next video. But since the comments did not go his way, he decided that he didn’t want to because we’re being mean and judgmental about the binaural beats stuff. Except the binaural beats are far from the major focus of the comments. Oh, and don’t say he’s bipolar because two different doctors said he’s not. Again, worth a watch or at least a review of the transcript on YouTube.
More concern and worry in the comments. Here’s one trying to get Stephen to understand that they’re not just being mean:
*Stephen - I’m an autistic adult who also has ADHD. I also used to work in a mental health hospital as a ward supervisor and rehab worker.
Just because someone says they’ve been checked out for things doesn’t mean they have….. the whole trouble with manic episodes is that they convince you that you have done things that you haven’t done.
We are worried Stephen. We’re not being mean - we are deeply concerned from a place of genuine love and care. Just think, if we didn’t give a crap we wouldn’t even bother posting a comment.
You are NOT being judged. You are causing genuine concern and we want you to see a professional, for whatever it is that you have going on. You need them and you need your meds. You’ve stopped taking your meds (you said you wouldn’t!) you’re not eating, not sleeping, not thinking coherently, you’re ‘fine on your own’ - these are all huge red flags. You will hang on to the ‘positive’ moments because your brain doesn’t want you to believe you need help. It’s not about ‘presenting odd’ Stephen - you’re absolutely right, odd is great! But this isn’t just odd - this is truly concerning and be mindful that it is highly uncommon to get a whole bucket load of people on the internet all desperately trying to convey the same concerns. It is because something is happening!
Also be mindful Stephen - not ONE person has said you are nuts. None of the comments you’re referring to have said that at all. You have taken all those concerns and you have translated them to mean what you think people are saying - because that’s what your current state of mind would have you believe. Not in any time or place - if you weren’t unwell - would you refer to those comments as ‘bad comments’ or ‘hate comments’. One day you will look back on this and you will be gutted that you referred to all the people posting genuine concerns as ‘bad commenters’. It will break your heart.
BUT - here we still are. Because we’re so ‘bad’ that we just can’t stop telling you how concerned we are about you and how urgently we want you to not just talk about having seen people in the past, but right HERE and NOW - see a therapist.
Please Stephen. We’re not bad people and we’re not at all trying to knock your confidence - we are the ones who would be the first to lift you up. But we’re also seeing the reality of the situation. And we can’t not say anything, BECAUSE we care too much. ❤
lauraclery #dramen*
But remember, y’all. We’re all just haters.2023.06.08 07:56 DocWatson42 For New Owners of Cats
My lists are always being updated and expanded when new information comes in—what did I miss or am I unaware of (even if the thread predates my membership in Reddit), and what needs correction? Even (especially) if I get a subreddit or date wrong. (Note that, other than the quotation marks, the thread titles are "sic". I only change the quotation marks to match the standard usage (double to single, etc.) when I add my own quotation marks around the threads' titles.)
The thread lists are in absolute ascending chronological order by the posting date, and if need be the time of the initial post, down to the minute (or second, if required—there's at least one example of this, somewhere). The dates are in DD MMMM YYYY format per personal preference, and times are in US Eastern Time ("ET") since that's how they appear to me, and I'm not going to go to the trouble of converting to another time zone. They are also in twenty-four hour format, as that's what I prefer, and it saves the trouble and confusion of a.m. and p.m. Where the same user posts the same request to different subreddits, I note the user's name in order to indicate that I am aware of the duplication.
This thread is about the recurring topic on Reddit.
For new owners of cats: askvet, kittens' "[META] It's kitten season! You found orphaned kittens or have a kitten in your care - now what? [2020]", cats, CatAdvice (no medical advice), catquestions, and PetAdvice for advice; thisismylifemeow, HandfulOfKitten (if it fits), IllegallySmolCats, and aww would also like see them; see https://www.reddit.com/Catsubs/wiki/index/ and https://www.reddit.com/suballthecats/wiki/index/ for lists of related subs (neither of which list is complete). Example for Catsubs: "other 200 subs to add" (13 October 2022).
CatTraining
PetAdvice
submitted by DocWatson42 to booklists [link] [comments]
The thread lists are in absolute ascending chronological order by the posting date, and if need be the time of the initial post, down to the minute (or second, if required—there's at least one example of this, somewhere). The dates are in DD MMMM YYYY format per personal preference, and times are in US Eastern Time ("ET") since that's how they appear to me, and I'm not going to go to the trouble of converting to another time zone. They are also in twenty-four hour format, as that's what I prefer, and it saves the trouble and confusion of a.m. and p.m. Where the same user posts the same request to different subreddits, I note the user's name in order to indicate that I am aware of the duplication.
This thread is about the recurring topic on Reddit.
For new owners of cats: askvet, kittens' "[META] It's kitten season! You found orphaned kittens or have a kitten in your care - now what? [2020]", cats, CatAdvice (no medical advice), catquestions, and PetAdvice for advice; thisismylifemeow, HandfulOfKitten (if it fits), IllegallySmolCats, and aww would also like see them; see https://www.reddit.com/Catsubs/wiki/index/ and https://www.reddit.com/suballthecats/wiki/index/ for lists of related subs (neither of which list is complete). Example for Catsubs: "other 200 subs to add" (13 October 2022).
- Gross, Terry (15 August 2019). "How Hannah Shaw, the 'Kitten Lady,' Rescues the Most Fragile Felines". Fresh Air. NPWHYY.
- Shaw, Hannah, and Andrew Marttila (2019). Tiny but Mighty: Kitten Lady's Guide to Saving the Most Vulnerable Felines. New York: Plume. ISBN 9781524744069. OCLC 1099599649. Preview.
CatTraining
PetAdvice
- "Both time for Smol group of criminals" (IllegallySmolCats; 8 October 2022)—How to bathe a kitten
- "I'm about to get my first kitty cat. What are some basic (or advanced) things I need to know to make her life better?" (whatisthisthing; 9 October 2022)—huge
- "Rescuing a mom cat and her kittens" (IllegallySmolCats; 19 October 2022)
- "smôl bathtime" (IllegallySmolCats; 11 November 2022)—How to bathe a kitten
- "dound it, no mom , it followed me home. what does it eat and how do manage it" (cats; 22 November 2022)
- "Ramsy gets a gentle cleaning" (cats; 14 December 2022)—longish; the video is from the Instagram account HeidiWranglesCats.
- "Husband and I don’t own a cat, but have mentioned we’re thinking of getting one. This is our Christmas haul. Now we need to get a cat. (Also would love some advice for a first-time cat owner!)" (cats; 09:13 ET, 27 December 2022)—huge
- "First time cat mom, bringing the dude home tomorrow. Any and all advice is welcome!" (cats; 17:02 ET, 27 December 2022)—long
- "Deaf cat advice: Hello all, I recently adopted this 7 year old floof and realized that she can't hear. I've never had a deaf cat so any tips on interacting and helping them feel safe would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!" (cats; 8 February 2023)
- "How can I get my cat to stop meowing 5000-15000 times a day (she meows every 2-40 seconds for the majority of the day and all night)?" (NoStupidQuestions; 2 March 2023)
- "We adopted a stray Mommy cat and her kitten a month ago, but her kitten is barely growing even when she's breastfed. How can I help her kitten?" (cats; 6 March 2023)—long
- "Found 3 kittens with their mom next to them dead. I assume they’re a day or two old. No idea if I can take care of them" (cats; 6 March 2023)—huge
- "HELP THIS CAT IS FOLLOWING ME WAY BACK HOME WHAT SHOULD I DO?!" (cats; 23 April 2023)—huge
- "I had to adopt this criminal without any preparation, does anyone have advice" (IllegallySmolCats; 15 May 2023)
- Cat labour – a guide to your cat giving birth—The People's Dispensary for Sick Animals (PDSA)
- What to do if you find kittens—The Humane Society of the United States
- The Big Fat Guide to Dechonking! (dechonkers; 9 November 2021)
2023.06.08 07:55 Sad-Bus-7246 blog post 1
The short film Space Traders was certainly a shocker to me especially because I didn’t think it would have ended that way. When I think of Afrofuturism I think of Black people being seen in futuristic roles which makes me think of it as a positive. This is the first time I’ve seen anything Afrofuturstic and it ended badly for Black people. My mindset throughout the whole movie is that there is no possible way society can succeed without Black people, so I thought there was no way they would make the executive decision to give up all the dark skinned African Americans. I thought it was weird to see the voting process during this movie and how they allowed for the voting process to be in the comfort of their own homes, it skewed the voting process tremendously because no one would ever know who voted for what. Along with this if Black votes were casted and taken into consideration the movie would've also ended very differently. This whole movie reminded me so much of slavery because many Black people have been captured and taken to an unknown place not knowing what is going to happen to them. By not adding to that part of the story and expanding on where the aliens took them, it adds to the afrofuturistic vibe because there is a possibility that this new world they are going to can actually be a paradise as the main character stated to the community of Black people as they met in town hall to discuss their futures. The idea of tricking the White people to make them feel like they would be missing out on something was a very smart idea to turn over the vote, but because the main character worked white white people against Black people for all that time, it makes sense why they wouldn’t want to listen to his suggestion. Overall I felt that this was such a great short film and honestly wished I could see more of what is to come for the Black community now that they are out of the U.S, as well as how good or bad the U.S is doing. Even though the aliens took care of big problems that our world has been trying to overcome for decades, is it really worth the lives of Black people, and changing the culture of the U.S completely?
submitted by Sad-Bus-7246 to u/Sad-Bus-7246 [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 07:55 One-Manufacturer5889 I need “dad” advice on how to handle car shop messing up my vehicle. Please help!!!
*summary before you scroll past, shop ‘fixed my car’, 3 weeks later same issue popped up, they corrected at no charge minus labor fee, drove off the lot car died before I even got home, towed it back and they said “we can’t fix it take it to dealership”. Dealership told me due to “poor installation” wires and connectors are now fried
I am a 28 year old female, I own a 2013 Chevy Malibu. 7 weeks ago a check engine light came on in my car, “crank shift position sensor”. Took it to a mom and pop local mechanic a friend recommended. They replaced the sensor and all was well. 3 weeks later my RPM would get stuck on 0 same as before and would stall. I called them since it had been less than 30 days and they told me to bring it back, which I did. Mind you this was a $100 tow to the shop since the vehicle wouldn’t turn over.
They called and told me the same message was popping up and they must’ve put a faulty sensor in, they replaced it at no charge but did charge me $40 for labor. I paid for the labor and took vehicle home. Before I even made it home the car stalled out and died. I immediately called them and they said “bring it back I guess, we can check it out”. Stupidly I brought it back to them (I was hoping by doing so I could save myself some money if they corrected the issue for free- I’m a broke single mom, I take the bargain where I can).
Jump to a few days later they called and in short terms said “we don’t know what’s wrong, take it to a dealership”. So I paid an additional $100 to tow it to a Chevy dealership.
Dealership called me today and said that all 3 times the shop fixed it, they replaced it with a non GM sensor. He said that in the beginning it was more than likely just a sensor issue, but due to improper installation I now have loose connectors and fried wires from moisture and corrosion. So asking advice on what to do now?
Do I ask original shop to pay for repairs? Ask for a refund on all service they did? Mind you I paid them $350- original repair $100- tow to take back to shop $40- labor charge to fix piece on warranty $100- tow it to dealership to get it fixed
Now dealership says it’ll be $850 to replace damage. What do I even do from here?! Will it be a ‘their word against his’ scenario? I am a young single mom, and can be a pushover. I just need dad advice (mine passed away) on how or what I do to get some of my money back. Thanks in advance!!!!!!
submitted by One-Manufacturer5889 to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments]
I am a 28 year old female, I own a 2013 Chevy Malibu. 7 weeks ago a check engine light came on in my car, “crank shift position sensor”. Took it to a mom and pop local mechanic a friend recommended. They replaced the sensor and all was well. 3 weeks later my RPM would get stuck on 0 same as before and would stall. I called them since it had been less than 30 days and they told me to bring it back, which I did. Mind you this was a $100 tow to the shop since the vehicle wouldn’t turn over.
They called and told me the same message was popping up and they must’ve put a faulty sensor in, they replaced it at no charge but did charge me $40 for labor. I paid for the labor and took vehicle home. Before I even made it home the car stalled out and died. I immediately called them and they said “bring it back I guess, we can check it out”. Stupidly I brought it back to them (I was hoping by doing so I could save myself some money if they corrected the issue for free- I’m a broke single mom, I take the bargain where I can).
Jump to a few days later they called and in short terms said “we don’t know what’s wrong, take it to a dealership”. So I paid an additional $100 to tow it to a Chevy dealership.
Dealership called me today and said that all 3 times the shop fixed it, they replaced it with a non GM sensor. He said that in the beginning it was more than likely just a sensor issue, but due to improper installation I now have loose connectors and fried wires from moisture and corrosion. So asking advice on what to do now?
Do I ask original shop to pay for repairs? Ask for a refund on all service they did? Mind you I paid them $350- original repair $100- tow to take back to shop $40- labor charge to fix piece on warranty $100- tow it to dealership to get it fixed
Now dealership says it’ll be $850 to replace damage. What do I even do from here?! Will it be a ‘their word against his’ scenario? I am a young single mom, and can be a pushover. I just need dad advice (mine passed away) on how or what I do to get some of my money back. Thanks in advance!!!!!!
2023.06.08 07:54 BaaBaaSnooze Does supporting local coffee mean that we are supporting local farmers?
I have relatives who farm robusta coffee in Bukidnon and since I became interested in buying my own coffee beans from small-scale roasters who claim to partner with farmers, I was curious to know how much of the money actually reaches someone like them.
During the recently concluded PH Coffee Expo 2023, a farmer shared in plenary that it costs him at least PHP 150 to produce 1kg of green coffee beans. And that is just a rough estimate considering how everyone there present (a roastetrader, 2 farmers, a CPA) was honest enough to admit that there is no proper research that covers the real cost of producing coffee in the PH.
To give you an idea, the farmer is expected to take care of the farm all year round (making sure to deal with pests and prune the trees and fertilize the plants), hand-pick only the ripe cherries during harvest, invest in drying facilities/equipment, monitor the drying process, get the parchment removed from the coffee, and then sort out defects according to the criteria for commercial, premium, or specialty/fine coffee.
Today, I learned that a foreigner is interested to buy coffee direct from the farmers. They are looking to select only the best coffee beans. Upon asking how much they will pay the farmers, the consolidator said they will pay the same as Nestle, a commercial buyer (which is roughly PHP 115 based on this year's harvest).
They will select only the best coffee beans and then buy it at the same price as the commercial buyer.
Isn't that weird? If they are looking to select the best, shouldn't they at least make a better offer?
But then the farmers would rather sell to just anyone because they need the money regardless of whether they are making a profit or even just breaking even.
It is so frustrating because as a home brewer, I am willing to buy good coffee beans even if it costs me PHP 500++/250g or PHP 2,000++/kg. The cheapest coffee I've bought so far is robusta coffee from a coop which was priced at PHP 130/250g. As a coffee shop customer, I am willing to pay PHP 150+ for a good cup of coffee.
I can only hope that those businesses who claim to support local farmers are actually buying at a price that farmers are able to make a profit. As for my relatives, here's to hoping that I can find them better buyers so that they will be motivated to produce better coffee.
submitted by BaaBaaSnooze to CoffeePH [link] [comments]
During the recently concluded PH Coffee Expo 2023, a farmer shared in plenary that it costs him at least PHP 150 to produce 1kg of green coffee beans. And that is just a rough estimate considering how everyone there present (a roastetrader, 2 farmers, a CPA) was honest enough to admit that there is no proper research that covers the real cost of producing coffee in the PH.
To give you an idea, the farmer is expected to take care of the farm all year round (making sure to deal with pests and prune the trees and fertilize the plants), hand-pick only the ripe cherries during harvest, invest in drying facilities/equipment, monitor the drying process, get the parchment removed from the coffee, and then sort out defects according to the criteria for commercial, premium, or specialty/fine coffee.
Today, I learned that a foreigner is interested to buy coffee direct from the farmers. They are looking to select only the best coffee beans. Upon asking how much they will pay the farmers, the consolidator said they will pay the same as Nestle, a commercial buyer (which is roughly PHP 115 based on this year's harvest).
They will select only the best coffee beans and then buy it at the same price as the commercial buyer.
Isn't that weird? If they are looking to select the best, shouldn't they at least make a better offer?
But then the farmers would rather sell to just anyone because they need the money regardless of whether they are making a profit or even just breaking even.
It is so frustrating because as a home brewer, I am willing to buy good coffee beans even if it costs me PHP 500++/250g or PHP 2,000++/kg. The cheapest coffee I've bought so far is robusta coffee from a coop which was priced at PHP 130/250g. As a coffee shop customer, I am willing to pay PHP 150+ for a good cup of coffee.
I can only hope that those businesses who claim to support local farmers are actually buying at a price that farmers are able to make a profit. As for my relatives, here's to hoping that I can find them better buyers so that they will be motivated to produce better coffee.
2023.06.08 07:54 no_nuns-none My husband is more of a caregiver than a spouse and I don’t know what to do
Me (25F) and my husband (28M) have been “married” less than a year but I’m struggling to feel like we’re a couple. I became disabled 2-3 years ago after a car accident and am no longer able to work for the time being. I have severe chronic fatigue (I can barely stand for 10 minutes without feeling like I’m going to pass out), heart problems, and get random paralysis episodes that have yet to be diagnosed. I put married in parentheses because while we did have a wedding and are committed life partners, due to my need for government financial assistance we couldn’t afford to be legally married. No one except 3 close friends know we’re not legally married.
My husband is very much a romantic in many ways, he shows his love similarly to how much Gomez loves Morticia and compliments me regularly. However there are many things that make me feel like he’s not 100% in this with me. He lost his wedding ring about 2 months before the wedding and didn’t tell me or even look for it until a week before the wedding. We ended up never finding it so instead of matching rings with our birthstones he had a completely different ring bought the day before. I can’t remember the last time we’ve been intimate together, but I would guess at least a year or close to it. I was hopeful that we would at least sleep together on our wedding or honeymoon but that did not happen. He’s thrown away several sentimental items of mine as he thought it was trash (a Polaroid of my old friend group and sequined patches from my wedding dress that were in the bag my dress was in to name two recent things). We don’t go on dates. He’ll talk about all the things we could go do but when it’s time to go he’ll either have forgotten or say he’s too tired. I stopped having expectations when he promised a picnic for dinner and instead handed me a plate with some cheese and crackers and left to smoke and play video games. Yesterday unprompted (he usually suggests dates when I’m particularly unhappy) he asked if I would go out to dinner with him as we had a gift card and I excitedly said yes, however today he asked to postpone as he wanted to eat hotdogs tonight because he was worried the buns we bought last week would go stale.
I know this paints him in a bad light but most of these things happen because of me. He’s too tired to do anything after work except maybe play video games and make dinner. He has to work full time and take little to no time off to afford our bills. I’m still working on getting on disability, but I do get EBT but legally I’m only allowed to buy food for myself. He does get 3 days off in a row but they are generally spent catching up on chores or helping me by assisting with a bath or taking me to my doctors. He’s generally too tired by the end of the day to do anything else.
I feel so guilty that I’m making him do so much for us but he genuinely wants to be my caregiver. He technically is considered my caregiver in his work’s hr paperwork and he says he’d rather do stuff for me than watch me struggle. I know caregiver is a title he’s proud of but it gives me dread every time he says it. It feels like I’m losing my husband and there’s nothing I can do about it unless I magically get better. I’ve started becoming resentful and jealous of my friends and family who get to go out on adventures (or even across the street) and achieve life goals while I’m stuck on my couch day after day. My husband has even stopped inviting me to go on dog walks with him and I feel trapped. I have almost no autonomy and I feel like a prisoner in my own home these days. I know that none of this is his fault but I’m just not ready to accept that this is the rest of my life yet.
submitted by no_nuns-none to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
My husband is very much a romantic in many ways, he shows his love similarly to how much Gomez loves Morticia and compliments me regularly. However there are many things that make me feel like he’s not 100% in this with me. He lost his wedding ring about 2 months before the wedding and didn’t tell me or even look for it until a week before the wedding. We ended up never finding it so instead of matching rings with our birthstones he had a completely different ring bought the day before. I can’t remember the last time we’ve been intimate together, but I would guess at least a year or close to it. I was hopeful that we would at least sleep together on our wedding or honeymoon but that did not happen. He’s thrown away several sentimental items of mine as he thought it was trash (a Polaroid of my old friend group and sequined patches from my wedding dress that were in the bag my dress was in to name two recent things). We don’t go on dates. He’ll talk about all the things we could go do but when it’s time to go he’ll either have forgotten or say he’s too tired. I stopped having expectations when he promised a picnic for dinner and instead handed me a plate with some cheese and crackers and left to smoke and play video games. Yesterday unprompted (he usually suggests dates when I’m particularly unhappy) he asked if I would go out to dinner with him as we had a gift card and I excitedly said yes, however today he asked to postpone as he wanted to eat hotdogs tonight because he was worried the buns we bought last week would go stale.
I know this paints him in a bad light but most of these things happen because of me. He’s too tired to do anything after work except maybe play video games and make dinner. He has to work full time and take little to no time off to afford our bills. I’m still working on getting on disability, but I do get EBT but legally I’m only allowed to buy food for myself. He does get 3 days off in a row but they are generally spent catching up on chores or helping me by assisting with a bath or taking me to my doctors. He’s generally too tired by the end of the day to do anything else.
I feel so guilty that I’m making him do so much for us but he genuinely wants to be my caregiver. He technically is considered my caregiver in his work’s hr paperwork and he says he’d rather do stuff for me than watch me struggle. I know caregiver is a title he’s proud of but it gives me dread every time he says it. It feels like I’m losing my husband and there’s nothing I can do about it unless I magically get better. I’ve started becoming resentful and jealous of my friends and family who get to go out on adventures (or even across the street) and achieve life goals while I’m stuck on my couch day after day. My husband has even stopped inviting me to go on dog walks with him and I feel trapped. I have almost no autonomy and I feel like a prisoner in my own home these days. I know that none of this is his fault but I’m just not ready to accept that this is the rest of my life yet.
2023.06.08 07:54 anzxcv buying legos & writing cards for his bday <3
it was so difficult to write the card without smiling & tearing up bcos i rly, RLY love him v much fml i am such a simp 😵💫
i have been talking to him for one year six months, but we only grew closer when i downloaded sc for him in feb/mar and we kinda became mutually exclusive without a label on our rs. which is perfectly fine by me because we both discussed on wanting to see where this goes and whether it’s worth getting serious.
for context, i alr knew him since we were 13, became an item at 14, drifted apart bcos we were both stupid & immature and now we reconnected 6 years later 😋
since then, we talked EVERYDAY. about anyth & everyth. he alw replays my snaps, saves them in chat & compliments me. he asks me to send more pics of myself bcos ‘he wants to see pretty’.
he notices every little change in mood i have (due to sch) & cheers me up with lame dad jokes. he remembers small details & sends me memes/reels that reminds him of me. he watched romcom movies to understand me better. he asks about my family because he wants to know them.
he hopes i am happy everyday & sends me voice notes / calls me and istg nothing makes me happier :” he calls me darling & honey & sweetie A LOT and even picks up on my lingo (i alw say ‘goodnight loveya muah’) so it j became a thing between us. he tells me to stay safe whenever i go home late at night, starts convos a lot and sends gm/gn messages everyday.
he created a spotify playlist for me & alw updates it every two months bcos he knows how much i love music (and our music taste is v similar)
he wrote an entire paragraph on a random afternoon j telling me how much he adores me and stated that he has ONLY my notifs on :”
he knows i don’t like it when chats are deleted (bcos it can lead to miscomms) so everytime he deletes smtg, he tells me why (usually a typo) but that gesture means a lot to me.
and i am not on my phone 24/7 either and i love love love how understanding and respectful he is of my own personal time.
have i mentioned he’s the smartest, hardworking & hottest man i know?
i am so deeply in love with him for 10 months & i cant wait to meet him soon and give him a hug bcos i missed him sm 🥺
submitted by anzxcv to Crushes [link] [comments]
i have been talking to him for one year six months, but we only grew closer when i downloaded sc for him in feb/mar and we kinda became mutually exclusive without a label on our rs. which is perfectly fine by me because we both discussed on wanting to see where this goes and whether it’s worth getting serious.
for context, i alr knew him since we were 13, became an item at 14, drifted apart bcos we were both stupid & immature and now we reconnected 6 years later 😋
since then, we talked EVERYDAY. about anyth & everyth. he alw replays my snaps, saves them in chat & compliments me. he asks me to send more pics of myself bcos ‘he wants to see pretty’.
he notices every little change in mood i have (due to sch) & cheers me up with lame dad jokes. he remembers small details & sends me memes/reels that reminds him of me. he watched romcom movies to understand me better. he asks about my family because he wants to know them.
he hopes i am happy everyday & sends me voice notes / calls me and istg nothing makes me happier :” he calls me darling & honey & sweetie A LOT and even picks up on my lingo (i alw say ‘goodnight loveya muah’) so it j became a thing between us. he tells me to stay safe whenever i go home late at night, starts convos a lot and sends gm/gn messages everyday.
he created a spotify playlist for me & alw updates it every two months bcos he knows how much i love music (and our music taste is v similar)
he wrote an entire paragraph on a random afternoon j telling me how much he adores me and stated that he has ONLY my notifs on :”
he knows i don’t like it when chats are deleted (bcos it can lead to miscomms) so everytime he deletes smtg, he tells me why (usually a typo) but that gesture means a lot to me.
and i am not on my phone 24/7 either and i love love love how understanding and respectful he is of my own personal time.
have i mentioned he’s the smartest, hardworking & hottest man i know?
i am so deeply in love with him for 10 months & i cant wait to meet him soon and give him a hug bcos i missed him sm 🥺
2023.06.08 07:53 faded_imagery my ten year anniversary is coming up and i am struggling TW:intimate details.
it is two weeks away from the ten year anniversary of the night i was raped. it feels surreal it doesn’t feel like anything most of the time and yet it feels awful sometimes. i’ve been staying incredibly busy which gives me less time to think about it.
i’ve been self medicating i have been for ten years. booze, drugs, sex. i know it’s bad but i can’t stop. especially right now.
the change in weather always triggers me. i work with elementary kids and missed the last week of school because i was manic but also because i feel disgusting and that someone like myself should not be allowed to be around them. they’re so innocent and i feel so tarnished. i know i am self sabotaging but the idea of going back in the fall feels so fucking scary.
i am terrified of seeing him. we don’t even live near each other but a man who came into my place of work looked like him and it terrified me. i hate that i’m still scared of him.
he took my virginity at my first party when i was 15 and groomed me for four years after that. i had a virginity ring on because of my religious parents. i thought i loved him, he destroyed my ability to view relationships for such a long time. i still struggle with it now.
they told me i had ptsd; they told me i was raped and i didn’t believe them. they involuntarily hospitalized me which traumatized me more but what were they supposed to do? what would i do in their situation? did i deserve it or do i make excuses for them. i don’t know.
i have been craving pain lately, whether through violent sex or self harm. i don’t know if it’s to feel something or punish myself.
i carry so much guilt around my behavior after my assault. i was hyper sexual and suicidal and unhinged. i’m from a small town so this reflected on my religious family.
i still think i am undeserving of love and am terrified of being left. deep down i know this negative belief about myself is not true but it feels so real right now. i clung to him when he would give me attention because he was my sense of self worth and after him i jumped from relationship to relationship.
he used to sleep inside me because “he wanted to start a family with me” i realize that now he just wanted to own me. my body, my mind, my sexuality. and he did. for a long time.
sometimes i try to explain things to my friends but then everything comes flooding back and it feels like it would take ages to explain things with him and how it affected my relationship with my family, myself, my friends for so long. especially my siblings. i was the older sister i was expected to be the role model, the caretaker. i know these expectations are unfair now but still feel like i failed.
i’ve been called a slut, whore, cunt, town bicycle. all these and more. but never anything about the men who used me and left. who denied even having sex with me because i was an embarrassment to them. every teenager keeps a body count list but i stopped counting at 20. i was 16.
i moved away with my dad, neither of my parents were home much and my grandparents raised me when i was a mess. it feels unfair, my grandpa was my dad and i loved him so much we didn’t speak for years until he was on his death bed because i hated myself and resented my family. i hate that.
i don’t have a hometown and sometimes that feels best but god it hurts to visit my family. and i have trouble admitting it because they worry. but them “worrying” only adds to the guilt and the anger.
i seek out men who are emotionally unavailable and relationships that are chaotic because it feels normal. i feel like i deserve it and it feels uncomfortable to have healthy boundaries. i want to take care of them and prove that i am worthy of the love they will never give me. i know all this but cannot stop it.
recently i saw someone for a month who is one of my close friends. he did not treat me very well and it feels like a confirmation of all of these thoughts and beliefs.
i will be okay. i always am, i know i am strong. but sometimes it’s just so fucking hard to be. i want to say so much more but it would be a novel. i don’t need advice or anything, i am safe, i think i really just needed to share. so if you’ve read this far thank you.
submitted by faded_imagery to sexualassault [link] [comments]
i’ve been self medicating i have been for ten years. booze, drugs, sex. i know it’s bad but i can’t stop. especially right now.
the change in weather always triggers me. i work with elementary kids and missed the last week of school because i was manic but also because i feel disgusting and that someone like myself should not be allowed to be around them. they’re so innocent and i feel so tarnished. i know i am self sabotaging but the idea of going back in the fall feels so fucking scary.
i am terrified of seeing him. we don’t even live near each other but a man who came into my place of work looked like him and it terrified me. i hate that i’m still scared of him.
he took my virginity at my first party when i was 15 and groomed me for four years after that. i had a virginity ring on because of my religious parents. i thought i loved him, he destroyed my ability to view relationships for such a long time. i still struggle with it now.
they told me i had ptsd; they told me i was raped and i didn’t believe them. they involuntarily hospitalized me which traumatized me more but what were they supposed to do? what would i do in their situation? did i deserve it or do i make excuses for them. i don’t know.
i have been craving pain lately, whether through violent sex or self harm. i don’t know if it’s to feel something or punish myself.
i carry so much guilt around my behavior after my assault. i was hyper sexual and suicidal and unhinged. i’m from a small town so this reflected on my religious family.
i still think i am undeserving of love and am terrified of being left. deep down i know this negative belief about myself is not true but it feels so real right now. i clung to him when he would give me attention because he was my sense of self worth and after him i jumped from relationship to relationship.
he used to sleep inside me because “he wanted to start a family with me” i realize that now he just wanted to own me. my body, my mind, my sexuality. and he did. for a long time.
sometimes i try to explain things to my friends but then everything comes flooding back and it feels like it would take ages to explain things with him and how it affected my relationship with my family, myself, my friends for so long. especially my siblings. i was the older sister i was expected to be the role model, the caretaker. i know these expectations are unfair now but still feel like i failed.
i’ve been called a slut, whore, cunt, town bicycle. all these and more. but never anything about the men who used me and left. who denied even having sex with me because i was an embarrassment to them. every teenager keeps a body count list but i stopped counting at 20. i was 16.
i moved away with my dad, neither of my parents were home much and my grandparents raised me when i was a mess. it feels unfair, my grandpa was my dad and i loved him so much we didn’t speak for years until he was on his death bed because i hated myself and resented my family. i hate that.
i don’t have a hometown and sometimes that feels best but god it hurts to visit my family. and i have trouble admitting it because they worry. but them “worrying” only adds to the guilt and the anger.
i seek out men who are emotionally unavailable and relationships that are chaotic because it feels normal. i feel like i deserve it and it feels uncomfortable to have healthy boundaries. i want to take care of them and prove that i am worthy of the love they will never give me. i know all this but cannot stop it.
recently i saw someone for a month who is one of my close friends. he did not treat me very well and it feels like a confirmation of all of these thoughts and beliefs.
i will be okay. i always am, i know i am strong. but sometimes it’s just so fucking hard to be. i want to say so much more but it would be a novel. i don’t need advice or anything, i am safe, i think i really just needed to share. so if you’ve read this far thank you.
2023.06.08 07:53 Enough_Donkey1774 41[M4F] Ohio/ Online. Educated, good sense of humor, and genuine.
About me: - Never married, no kids (no, it’s not a red flag) - Bachelors degree: 1, Masters degree: 1. Total:2 - Great career. Own my house and cars.
About you: - Educated - Fun - Flirty - No games
I’m not really interested in anyone that’s going to make people jump through hoops, just to play games. Be real, be genuine too.
Interests:
submitted by Enough_Donkey1774 to R4R40Plus [link] [comments]
About you: - Educated - Fun - Flirty - No games
I’m not really interested in anyone that’s going to make people jump through hoops, just to play games. Be real, be genuine too.
Interests:
- sports
- concerts -comedians
- science
- anything outdoors -gardening -home projects
- reading, movies and tv
- trivia
- politics
- history
- birding
2023.06.08 07:52 Enough_Donkey1774 41[M4F] Ohio/ Online. Educated, good sense of humor, and genuine.
About me: - Never married, no kids (no, it’s not a red flag) - Bachelors degree: 1, Masters degree: 1. Total:2 - Great career. Own my house and cars.
About you: - Educated - Fun - Flirty - No games
I’m not really interested in anyone that’s going to make people jump through hoops, just to play games. Be real, be genuine too.
Interests:
submitted by Enough_Donkey1774 to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]
About you: - Educated - Fun - Flirty - No games
I’m not really interested in anyone that’s going to make people jump through hoops, just to play games. Be real, be genuine too.
Interests:
- sports
- concerts -comedians
- science
- anything outdoors -gardening -home projects
- reading, movies and tv
- trivia
- politics
- history
- birding
2023.06.08 07:51 nickpanther 36M - Looking for a buddy who understands dieting and fitness
36M Looking for a buddy who has a background in diet and fitness.
Background: Although everyone has their own ideas as to what athletic is, I would consider myself a fairly athletic person. In terms of cardio, I've always enjoyed high intensity cardio activities, and wouldn't be that hard for me to get back to the same cardio levels I once was. Through my years of fitness, one thing I've noticed is that the body is an amazingly adaptable tool. No matter what I threw at my body, it has always stayed in a "skinny fat" state.
Plan: I am currently getting back my cardio, by running or doing the elliptical daily. This stage is nearly done. I am planning on starting crossfit shortly.
Eating: I'm a bit of a health nut, and enjoy eating at home and eating healthy. I believe my issue is that my macros are off and I don't really track them.
Goal: I'm hoping to find someone who will mentor me in a sense to help me find food choices that will help me lose my excess weight. Once that is done, I may consider losing additional fat. The idea behind crossfit, is that I noticed that my body enjoys cardio + high intensity weight training, so I'm hoping that I can add a couple of inches of mass doing it.
Where you come in: as I mentioned above, I'm looking for someone with knowledge in dieting/cutting that will be able to help me. I'm guessing weekly check ins, but open to what works with your schedule. You don't have to be personal trainer level, but someone who understands macros, or has successfully lost fat before.
What I can offer: I can offer general life mentorship/advice, as well as a daily chat companion.
Although I'm open to anyone, I would prefer someone in North America, just due to similar time zones.
I'm not sure if I'll find what I'm looking for in this sub, but if there might be a better place to post this, please let me know.
submitted by nickpanther to GetMotivatedBuddies [link] [comments]
Background: Although everyone has their own ideas as to what athletic is, I would consider myself a fairly athletic person. In terms of cardio, I've always enjoyed high intensity cardio activities, and wouldn't be that hard for me to get back to the same cardio levels I once was. Through my years of fitness, one thing I've noticed is that the body is an amazingly adaptable tool. No matter what I threw at my body, it has always stayed in a "skinny fat" state.
Plan: I am currently getting back my cardio, by running or doing the elliptical daily. This stage is nearly done. I am planning on starting crossfit shortly.
Eating: I'm a bit of a health nut, and enjoy eating at home and eating healthy. I believe my issue is that my macros are off and I don't really track them.
Goal: I'm hoping to find someone who will mentor me in a sense to help me find food choices that will help me lose my excess weight. Once that is done, I may consider losing additional fat. The idea behind crossfit, is that I noticed that my body enjoys cardio + high intensity weight training, so I'm hoping that I can add a couple of inches of mass doing it.
Where you come in: as I mentioned above, I'm looking for someone with knowledge in dieting/cutting that will be able to help me. I'm guessing weekly check ins, but open to what works with your schedule. You don't have to be personal trainer level, but someone who understands macros, or has successfully lost fat before.
What I can offer: I can offer general life mentorship/advice, as well as a daily chat companion.
Although I'm open to anyone, I would prefer someone in North America, just due to similar time zones.
I'm not sure if I'll find what I'm looking for in this sub, but if there might be a better place to post this, please let me know.
2023.06.08 07:51 BlueberryMarkers Building my own tanks!
Hey everyone! I am new to the Reptile community and currently I have a few ball pythons. I recently learned that their tanks are far too small for them and so I’m planning on building them four by twos as soon as I am out of my small apartment in just a couple months. have any of you built your own tanks before? any tips or tricks or things you wish you knew? Also, what kind of wood should I use for it? I don’t know if there are any woods that I would get a Lowe’s or Home Depot that are toxic to snakes. I was planning on just using plywood or PVC board. I’ve watched probably 15 or 20 different tutorials and I’ve watched each of them multiple times, so I feel like I have a good idea of the construction part of it, I just don’t know exactly what materials I should use. If anyone has any insights or wisdom, please let me know!
submitted by BlueberryMarkers to ballpython [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 07:49 JeezieB To my ex-huband's girlfriend - behold the red flags you accept
Saw a post from yesterday that inspired this post.
Background: almost a year ago, he pled guilty to assaulting me. About a year and a half prior to that, his physical/verbal/emotional/financial/drug (that last one was news to me) escalated one evening to attempting to strangle me to death. I fled our home, SCREAMING, and fortunately, a neighbour ushered me in and allowed me to use their phone (he'd taken mine and broken it, lest I call for help).
Anyway... there was a period of reconciliation shortly after the assault. He was VERY SORRY, you see. There was a really amazing honeymoon phase, for a while (spoiler alert: it didn't last).
I left him permanently a little under a year before he pled.
I was aware that he started dating very shortly thereafter (the man is incapable of being alone), and honestly, didn't care. Other than the general sort of "hope she knows what she's getting in to!" feelings.
One day, last July (3 weeks after court), I get a random message from a random person on fb whom I've never met. I mean, I knew who she was. We had 280 mutual friends when we split. Some of them enjoy spilling tea.
She tells me how abusive he is. She tells me how he does a bunch of blow. She tells me how he's so financially irresponsible that he got his used BMW 3 series repossessed. She tells me that she broke up with him, and that he's suicidal. And I, like an idiot, took the bait.
I commiserated with this woman. I consoled her. I ASKED HER PERMISSION, and then I reached out to his family so they knew to check in and make sure he's okay.
And then she took him back. I warned her - he never forgets a slight. And her reaching out to me is the slightiest of all slights. Still did it.
From what my gossiping friends have to say, it's been a rocky road. But as far as I'm aware, they're together.
And I just hope that she comes out alive. She's a human with thoughts and dreams and KIDS and I hope that she didn't sign her own death sentence by ignoring the Lenin-worthy parade of red flags.
submitted by JeezieB to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]
Background: almost a year ago, he pled guilty to assaulting me. About a year and a half prior to that, his physical/verbal/emotional/financial/drug (that last one was news to me) escalated one evening to attempting to strangle me to death. I fled our home, SCREAMING, and fortunately, a neighbour ushered me in and allowed me to use their phone (he'd taken mine and broken it, lest I call for help).
Anyway... there was a period of reconciliation shortly after the assault. He was VERY SORRY, you see. There was a really amazing honeymoon phase, for a while (spoiler alert: it didn't last).
I left him permanently a little under a year before he pled.
I was aware that he started dating very shortly thereafter (the man is incapable of being alone), and honestly, didn't care. Other than the general sort of "hope she knows what she's getting in to!" feelings.
One day, last July (3 weeks after court), I get a random message from a random person on fb whom I've never met. I mean, I knew who she was. We had 280 mutual friends when we split. Some of them enjoy spilling tea.
She tells me how abusive he is. She tells me how he does a bunch of blow. She tells me how he's so financially irresponsible that he got his used BMW 3 series repossessed. She tells me that she broke up with him, and that he's suicidal. And I, like an idiot, took the bait.
I commiserated with this woman. I consoled her. I ASKED HER PERMISSION, and then I reached out to his family so they knew to check in and make sure he's okay.
And then she took him back. I warned her - he never forgets a slight. And her reaching out to me is the slightiest of all slights. Still did it.
From what my gossiping friends have to say, it's been a rocky road. But as far as I'm aware, they're together.
And I just hope that she comes out alive. She's a human with thoughts and dreams and KIDS and I hope that she didn't sign her own death sentence by ignoring the Lenin-worthy parade of red flags.
2023.06.08 07:49 apostilecertificate How To Get Single Status Certificate Attestation in India
 | submitted by apostilecertificate to u/apostilecertificate [link] [comments] single status certificate in india Has anyone asked you for a single status certificate in India to marry someone or prove that you have not married yet? Probably not! A single status certificate is one of the crucial documents you need to be a spouse of the citizens of a foreign country. This document is crucial as a police clearance certificate you get when you move from your native country to a foreign country. There are many names used for a signal status certificate in different countries, and they are;
What is the Need for a Single Status/Unmarried/Bachelorhood Certificate?This single status certificate has one more name, an unmarried certificate, which is necessary to carry when you move abroad and prove to the foreign country authorities that “I am single and can marry someone in a foreign country”.Various foreign countries follow a procedure to demand a single status certificate or celibacy certificate to be assured that the ex-pat has never been married and eligible to marry. Do you know that there is a vital role of a single status certificate to marry in Malaysia? A single status certificate is one of the documents required to get an international marriage and licence by a foreign country to marry their citizen. The list of the top 10 easiest countries to immigrate to as an expat includes a single status certificate to carry if an expat ever plans to marry someone in a foreign country. For instance, for an Indian who stays in the UK and plans to marry a citizen of the UK, a single status certificate with attestation is what you need to prove that you have no spouse in India or any other nation. How to Get a Single Status Certificate in India?India is a Sovereign Socialist Secular Democratic Republic. India is a continuously developing country, with a no-one tag in many categories. This Asian country is known for its cultural and traditional values. Along with that, India is a country that maintains a healthy and trustworthy relationship with its foreign countries. Any Indian migrating from India to any foreign country needs attestation on their legal documents for use abroad. There are two ways to apply for a single status certificate in India, and they are:
Step by Step Procedure to Get a Single Status Certificate in IndiaGetting a single status certificate in India is not a big game only played by the pro players. The procedure for a bachelorhood certificate is as easy as switching on and off a bulb.Here is the procedure to apply for a single status certificate attestation in India.
Documents Required for a Single Status Certificate in IndiaThe authorities that issue you a single status certificate will request you to submit the following documents to check your identity and other required details.
An affidavit declares that you are single. There is no static format used for a single status certificate court affidavit. There are some points that you need to add to your affidavit. Start your letter with your name, father name, mother name, and your permanent residential address in India, solemnly affirm and declare as follows: I am an Indian citizen, born in this particular place on this particular date. I am a holder of an Indian passport number— issued by —- and have a validity of —– months. I am single and have no spouse in India or any other country. I am eligible to apply for a single status certificate to happily marry a citizen of this country according to law. I am in a mentally and physically fit condition. The content mentioned in this letter is not bogus to the best of my knowledge. Solemnly declared at (place of signature) on (date of signature). (your signature) (the sub-divisional magistrate’s signature) How Long Does It Take To Get a Single Status Certificate?No fixed duration by the authorities declared to get a single status certificate in India. It depends on the procedure, and the departments issue a signal status certificate. Moreover, a single status certificate apostille or attestation procedure also charges time. |
2023.06.08 07:48 JustMajjic XboxOne External Hard Drive Not working properly
Hi all , I don’t really know how to use Reddit all that well but I’ve seen this is the place to get some help better than actual support haha. I’ve purchased a 2tb hard drive from Best Buy a awhile ago & didn’t open it and plug it into my Xbox immediately. I also bought a USB hub off Amazon so I can have extra ports for connecting things to my Xbox. So I went to plug the usb hub in to the back of my Xbox and then my hard drive into the hub. Initially it worked fine then my internet shut off as I was transferring a game from internal storage to external and it went downhill really fast. My hard drive has been messed up since. I formatted the drive and fixed it but soon after I tried installing a game and it was downloading and then it stopped the installation. I then tried to resume the installation and it didn’t work. I then refreshed my home and the game was downloaded immediately but I don’t think it’s the full game at all. I now can’t launch the game or transfer it back to internal or format my drive. It won’t load or it’s refusing to. My Xbox will read my hard drive after I unplug and plug it back in or sometimes or it will pick it up on its own. I’ve barely had a week of use.I also shut my console off after I’m done playing so I don’t leave it running. I would love for a bit of help trying to figure out what’s wrong… Microsoft support was no help for the same thing I explained. They just told me that I’d have to format it to use it on my computer.. And I have a crappy laptop that doesn’t run well & don’t use very much.
submitted by JustMajjic to xboxone [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 07:47 1udderlycutecow Surviving a Blindsided Breakup
Even though it seems totally impossible right now, know that it will get better.
7 months ago I was in total shock when my boyfriend of over two years sat me down and blindsided me with a breakup. We had been living together for a few months at this point, so that night I had packed up all of my things and moved back to my parents house.
The days and weeks after the breakup I was in a near suicidal depression trying to figure out what went wrong and how I lost my best friend. I ruminated over and over trying to think of the things that I my have said or done differently to have him stay, and would anxiously wait for that text from him to come home. Unfortunately it never came, but as time started to slowly go by I was able to see the breakup from a different light and begin the process of healing. While I still have a lot of progress left to go before I have made total peace with letting go of how things ended and the lack of closure, I feel a lightness that I never thought was possible before and you will too.
These are some of the things I did (and wish I did more of to help me):
Be kind to yourself While all breakups have their fair share of heartbreak, a blindsided breakup causes more unnecessary trauma and pain to the dumpees and is incredibly callous. Even though it sounds overly simple, make sure to be kind to yourself when going through this process. This can look like placing extra emphasis on self care or doing those little extra things for yourself that you enjoy. Especially right after the breakup, finding healthy distractions is so important. Even though I was in a state of shock, I remember going to the zoo days after the breakup and while I still felt shattered, seeing baby capybara's made me smile.
Some introspection is good; constant rumination is not If you are anything like me you are an over thinker, and it is something I still struggle with in terms of the breakup (though it's better than before). One of the worst parts of being blindsided is not just the lack of closure, but also the mixed answers you may have received from your dumper as to what caused the breakup. I was literally obsessed with finding out what I did wrong, why things fell apart and maybe if I said this or did this that he would love me again. Please, please do not do this. While it is true that it takes two to have a healthy and stable relationship, remember that most of us were not given access into our partners inner world and they allowed small grievances to build up until it was unbearable. We are not mind readers, how can we improve on these issues if they are not addressed? Introspection on things that you would like to do differently is good, but make sure to not get hung up on the little details and how they may have changed things.
Journaling One of the best tools that has helped me not only track my healing process but also make sense of the situation is journaling. You can do this in the traditional way by writing things down but I found that a video diary has helped a lot as well. It's a great way to organize your thoughts and get out all of the anger and hurt from the breakup.
Maintain no contact One of the most hellish parts of the breakup was no contact. No matter what happened in my day good or bad he was one of the main people I went to. Not having him there during such a hard time was horrible, and while there are moments that even now I miss the home we made, I'm realizing how strong I am without him. You are too. The first few weeks will feel like going through withdrawal but it is so important that you separate yourself away from the dumper and find a sense of clarity about the situation on your own. This also applies to social media! Stalking and looking at their pages will only make these feelings worse and constantly reopen the wound. If you need to unfollow or block to fight the urge, do it.
Exercise ( I wish I would have done more of this) While in the beginning I struggled to get out of bed, I wish that I would have tried to work out a bit more. Even if you can only manage a five minute walk around the block, try it. Moving around does help those bottled up feelings from going crazy.
Finding people going through similar issues I am not exaggerating when I say that this is SO important. Right after the breakup I went on Reddit and ended up meeting one of the best friends I've ever had who was going through a breakup as well (having that support saved my life and I'm so grateful for them). Being able to connect with a community of people going through such a shocking similar experience is cathartic and makes you feel so much less alone. Even during those moments where you are fighting the urge to isolate try to reach out to your support system and this community.
Continue to work on yourself for you NOT for them There's a quote that says " Don't climb mountains so that people can see you. Climb mountains so that you can see the world" and it applies to breakups too. All of this hard work you are doing to improve and love yourself more, do it for you. I know the thought of a villain era seems so tempting and you want to show them that you aren't just happy but thriving without them, but it's not worth it. Do it for you because you deserve that.
Learn more about attachment styles One thing that I am grateful for from this experience is the chance to learn more about not only his kind of attachment style, but my own as well. This can help you get a better understanding of yourself and what you need in a partner, and also red flags to look out for when dating.
Even though I know right now things are extremely difficult, know that things WILL get better. If no-one has told you, I'm proud of you and you will make it through this happy and whole again. If you need someone to reach out and talk to, my DM's are open!
submitted by 1udderlycutecow to BreakUp [link] [comments]
7 months ago I was in total shock when my boyfriend of over two years sat me down and blindsided me with a breakup. We had been living together for a few months at this point, so that night I had packed up all of my things and moved back to my parents house.
The days and weeks after the breakup I was in a near suicidal depression trying to figure out what went wrong and how I lost my best friend. I ruminated over and over trying to think of the things that I my have said or done differently to have him stay, and would anxiously wait for that text from him to come home. Unfortunately it never came, but as time started to slowly go by I was able to see the breakup from a different light and begin the process of healing. While I still have a lot of progress left to go before I have made total peace with letting go of how things ended and the lack of closure, I feel a lightness that I never thought was possible before and you will too.
These are some of the things I did (and wish I did more of to help me):
Be kind to yourself While all breakups have their fair share of heartbreak, a blindsided breakup causes more unnecessary trauma and pain to the dumpees and is incredibly callous. Even though it sounds overly simple, make sure to be kind to yourself when going through this process. This can look like placing extra emphasis on self care or doing those little extra things for yourself that you enjoy. Especially right after the breakup, finding healthy distractions is so important. Even though I was in a state of shock, I remember going to the zoo days after the breakup and while I still felt shattered, seeing baby capybara's made me smile.
Some introspection is good; constant rumination is not If you are anything like me you are an over thinker, and it is something I still struggle with in terms of the breakup (though it's better than before). One of the worst parts of being blindsided is not just the lack of closure, but also the mixed answers you may have received from your dumper as to what caused the breakup. I was literally obsessed with finding out what I did wrong, why things fell apart and maybe if I said this or did this that he would love me again. Please, please do not do this. While it is true that it takes two to have a healthy and stable relationship, remember that most of us were not given access into our partners inner world and they allowed small grievances to build up until it was unbearable. We are not mind readers, how can we improve on these issues if they are not addressed? Introspection on things that you would like to do differently is good, but make sure to not get hung up on the little details and how they may have changed things.
Journaling One of the best tools that has helped me not only track my healing process but also make sense of the situation is journaling. You can do this in the traditional way by writing things down but I found that a video diary has helped a lot as well. It's a great way to organize your thoughts and get out all of the anger and hurt from the breakup.
Maintain no contact One of the most hellish parts of the breakup was no contact. No matter what happened in my day good or bad he was one of the main people I went to. Not having him there during such a hard time was horrible, and while there are moments that even now I miss the home we made, I'm realizing how strong I am without him. You are too. The first few weeks will feel like going through withdrawal but it is so important that you separate yourself away from the dumper and find a sense of clarity about the situation on your own. This also applies to social media! Stalking and looking at their pages will only make these feelings worse and constantly reopen the wound. If you need to unfollow or block to fight the urge, do it.
Exercise ( I wish I would have done more of this) While in the beginning I struggled to get out of bed, I wish that I would have tried to work out a bit more. Even if you can only manage a five minute walk around the block, try it. Moving around does help those bottled up feelings from going crazy.
Finding people going through similar issues I am not exaggerating when I say that this is SO important. Right after the breakup I went on Reddit and ended up meeting one of the best friends I've ever had who was going through a breakup as well (having that support saved my life and I'm so grateful for them). Being able to connect with a community of people going through such a shocking similar experience is cathartic and makes you feel so much less alone. Even during those moments where you are fighting the urge to isolate try to reach out to your support system and this community.
Continue to work on yourself for you NOT for them There's a quote that says " Don't climb mountains so that people can see you. Climb mountains so that you can see the world" and it applies to breakups too. All of this hard work you are doing to improve and love yourself more, do it for you. I know the thought of a villain era seems so tempting and you want to show them that you aren't just happy but thriving without them, but it's not worth it. Do it for you because you deserve that.
Learn more about attachment styles One thing that I am grateful for from this experience is the chance to learn more about not only his kind of attachment style, but my own as well. This can help you get a better understanding of yourself and what you need in a partner, and also red flags to look out for when dating.
Even though I know right now things are extremely difficult, know that things WILL get better. If no-one has told you, I'm proud of you and you will make it through this happy and whole again. If you need someone to reach out and talk to, my DM's are open!
2023.06.08 07:47 Friendly_Leg_5118 I just need to get some things off my chest
I do not really share much with people but after reading other peoples posts I felt like just getting everything out might help me. Just a warning this will be long I’m not looking for pity I just need to get this all out someway.
I feel like I’m drowning. The past few years have been suffocating and I genuinely do not know what to do to help myself. My senior year of high school (2020) was the last time things seemed relatively normal for me and that’s stretching it.
In fall of 2020 I started college at a state university 6 hours away from my family, the day after my family moved me in my father went to the ER and through some testing within a month got diagnosed with cancer. By the time they had found it it had already spread to most of his body. I made the trip home as often as I could, but ever while I was there it wasn’t him that I saw. He was like a shell of the person I had grown up with. Two months after diagnosis a few weeks before Christmas that year he passed.
I feel so much guilt, I wasn’t there. My mom called me in the afternoon as classes were just beginning for the second quarter and told me I needed to get home. He passed while I was on the road. I chose to go back to school and I missed his final moments because of it. I started to spiral, I binge drank for the rest of the year. There were weeks where I would go days without being sober, I passed my classes purely through pity for my teachers. I was miserable in my career path but felt like I couldn’t change because my dad was so proud of what I was going to school for. During this time the friends that I had made kicked me out of the house that we were getting together because I was, “Too sad about my dad dying” and they did not want to put up with the behaviors I was using to cope.
I eventually moved in with random people from Facebook and spent my sophomore year working and going to school. I finally got the guts to change my degree and I thought it would make me happy. I made new friends (who encouraged bad habits) and just coasted through trying to survive. During this year a hurricane wrecked my family home and we lost practically everything. My mother and sister were living with my dads brother for about 9 months while the house was being rebuilt. It eventually got rebuilt and I hoped that everything would start to work out.
I got a new job and moved into a new house with a close friend the summer before my junior year. Two months after signing that lease, after trying to battle my roommates alcoholism I went to a convention with a guy that I had met and was gone for approximately 5 hours. When I got home I immediately fell asleep, and my roommate did not realize that I was home. The next morning I woke up and found them in a pile of their own vomit. They were alive but barely. They had attempted suicide while I was sleeping the night before. I ended up having to involve the police with the help of their parents got them the help they needed.
At this time I was just started therapy at a new place and seeing a psychiatrist. I got diagnosed it’s a cacophony of things and realized it was best for my mental health that I leave the environment. I moved in with the guy that I was seeing and we decided to just be friends.
Now it’s been almost a year since everything happened I have a full time job, I dropped out to go to art school. I pay all my own bills. But I feel like a failure. 4 years ago my plans would have me graduating in a few months with an engineering degree. Now my mental health is a wreck, I’m stuck in a job I just am not cut out for, and I just do not know what to do.
I know it’s going to be okay, it always is. And I have a lot in my life to be thankful for My mom,my sister and my current roommate bring so much light into my life and they support me through everything. I guess Im just disappointed things did not go like I had planned. Writing this all out had helped me to focus on the positives so I am happy for that. Thank you to anyone who actually reads this much!
submitted by Friendly_Leg_5118 to offmychest [link] [comments]
I feel like I’m drowning. The past few years have been suffocating and I genuinely do not know what to do to help myself. My senior year of high school (2020) was the last time things seemed relatively normal for me and that’s stretching it.
In fall of 2020 I started college at a state university 6 hours away from my family, the day after my family moved me in my father went to the ER and through some testing within a month got diagnosed with cancer. By the time they had found it it had already spread to most of his body. I made the trip home as often as I could, but ever while I was there it wasn’t him that I saw. He was like a shell of the person I had grown up with. Two months after diagnosis a few weeks before Christmas that year he passed.
I feel so much guilt, I wasn’t there. My mom called me in the afternoon as classes were just beginning for the second quarter and told me I needed to get home. He passed while I was on the road. I chose to go back to school and I missed his final moments because of it. I started to spiral, I binge drank for the rest of the year. There were weeks where I would go days without being sober, I passed my classes purely through pity for my teachers. I was miserable in my career path but felt like I couldn’t change because my dad was so proud of what I was going to school for. During this time the friends that I had made kicked me out of the house that we were getting together because I was, “Too sad about my dad dying” and they did not want to put up with the behaviors I was using to cope.
I eventually moved in with random people from Facebook and spent my sophomore year working and going to school. I finally got the guts to change my degree and I thought it would make me happy. I made new friends (who encouraged bad habits) and just coasted through trying to survive. During this year a hurricane wrecked my family home and we lost practically everything. My mother and sister were living with my dads brother for about 9 months while the house was being rebuilt. It eventually got rebuilt and I hoped that everything would start to work out.
I got a new job and moved into a new house with a close friend the summer before my junior year. Two months after signing that lease, after trying to battle my roommates alcoholism I went to a convention with a guy that I had met and was gone for approximately 5 hours. When I got home I immediately fell asleep, and my roommate did not realize that I was home. The next morning I woke up and found them in a pile of their own vomit. They were alive but barely. They had attempted suicide while I was sleeping the night before. I ended up having to involve the police with the help of their parents got them the help they needed.
At this time I was just started therapy at a new place and seeing a psychiatrist. I got diagnosed it’s a cacophony of things and realized it was best for my mental health that I leave the environment. I moved in with the guy that I was seeing and we decided to just be friends.
Now it’s been almost a year since everything happened I have a full time job, I dropped out to go to art school. I pay all my own bills. But I feel like a failure. 4 years ago my plans would have me graduating in a few months with an engineering degree. Now my mental health is a wreck, I’m stuck in a job I just am not cut out for, and I just do not know what to do.
I know it’s going to be okay, it always is. And I have a lot in my life to be thankful for My mom,my sister and my current roommate bring so much light into my life and they support me through everything. I guess Im just disappointed things did not go like I had planned. Writing this all out had helped me to focus on the positives so I am happy for that. Thank you to anyone who actually reads this much!
2023.06.08 07:47 AdPositive9714 Wrongful termination?
So, little back story. I (25f) have worked at walmart for a total of about 5 years, while 4 of them were spent being a front end manager. I came back to Walmart in July 2022 and moved almost immediately to hourly management. I also became close friends with one of my associates. We spent a lot of time together, best friends. Well, in February of 2023 I was told by my store manager that I was being investigated for sleeping with this associate. After a 2 or 3 week waiting period they finally told me that the investigation was over and It was found I was not sleeping with any of my associates but I would be punished for the accusation because I am I member of the management team. I was coached to a red. Which is pretty much the final warning. Soooo after this i was talking to said associate about how unfair and steam rolled It all felt. We continued being friends for a few weeks before we stopped speaking for a completely unrelated reason. In the middle of this there was a day she was rude and disrespectful in front of customers and got sent home, with another managers push. Well fast forward to the last week of may, I get pulled into my store managers office again to be told I am now being investigated for retaliation against this associate because i stopped speaking to her on a personal level. And because i sent her home as a way to spite her. I tell management that, this is not what happened and that another manager above me suggested she went home and they tell me they will look into it and keep me updated. I continue on the same way for a couple of days until I get pulled into the office again. This time to be told they found the retaliation case substantial and that I am being terminated and non-rehirable for any Walmart owned business again. My termination meeting was at most two minutes. With not even an example or explanation as to what they found that was substantial. My question is, what do I do now? I got steamrolled and bullied out of my favorite job.
submitted by AdPositive9714 to walmart [link] [comments]