Bryson tiller let me explain lyrics

The mainstream understanding of the Pyramid Texts has consistently viewed them as religious and ritualistic in nature. They are widely regarded as a series of prayers and spells aimed at guiding the Pharaoh's journey to the afterlife, stemming from the deeply spiritual nature of ancient Egyptian society and the divine status accorded to their rulers.
However, I propose that we reconsider these texts from a different angle - not just as ritualistic incantations, but also as personal messages of love, respect, and farewell towards the departed Pharaoh. While acknowledging the ritualistic elements, these texts could equally be seen as sincere eulogies from the hearts of those who revered the Pharaoh.
Let me share my reasoning:

1. Text Placement: These inscriptions were carefully etched within the burial chambers, the final resting places of the Pharaohs. The intimacy of this locale could suggest a personal connection between the messages and the departed. In modern times, we often do this on the gravestone itself, "Loving father" or something similar. We also do this in guestbooks or newspaper dedications to the recently departed.
2. Variety and Unrelated Nature of Inscriptions: The messages in the texts don't appear to follow a specific order or grouping, potentially suggesting they were unique messages rather than a coordinated religious script. Each is an 'utterance' which can be regarded as separate farewells to a Pharaoh whom they deeply admired.
3. Literacy and the Role of Scribes: In the ancient Egyptian era, literacy was primarily a skill held by scribes. Could ordinary citizens have sought the assistance of these skilled writers to immortalize their farewell messages to their beloved leader? For example, common folk would line up on a government approved day, such as a public funeral, and tell the scribe what to carve on the chamber. This could explain the continuity of writing style.
4. Differences in Narrative Perspectives: The Pyramid Texts exhibit varying narrative perspectives, with some passages written in first-person, while others are in third-person. This discrepancy in perspectives could reflect the personal literary choices of the individuals bidding their farewell, further emphasizing the personal nature of these texts. Lets highlight this fact as literature, such as highly regarded religious text did not usually switch perspectives seemingly instantaneously and without reason.

Moreover, these inscriptions seem to parallel modern expressions of spiritual farewell, akin to someone saying "May God hold your soul in his hand and guide you in Heaven." These personal farewell wishes often carry a spiritual or religious undertone, just like the Pyramid Texts. Which is why they all seem to have some sort of deep, spiritual or mythological foundation. This type of farewell is extremely common in societies; the use of a divine hand in guiding you serves not only to comfort yourself but also a hopeful prayer to the world beyond where you loved one has passed.
I recognize that this interpretation represents a shift from the traditional understanding of the Pyramid Texts, and it's important to note that the precise nature of these inscriptions remains largely speculative. However, this alternate view provides a more personalized and emotionally engaging angle to the Pyramid Texts, thereby enhancing our comprehension of this ancient civilization. . This activity is not foreign to humans nor is it only limited to the ancients as we in fact to this very thing to this day. Again, let us consider the placement of these utterances, in the very heart of the burial chamber itself, seemingly with no relation to one another and in different perspective.
For example:
" 134: Unas, you are not lost, but alive, seated on the throne of Osiris. With your scepter in hand, you command the living and the dead. "
Let us analyze this inscription and after I will give a modern equivalent from a Christian perspective.
Unas: Unas was a Pharaoh of the Old Kingdom of Egypt, the final king of the 5th Dynasty. He's notable for having pyramid texts inscribed into his burial chamber, which provide a wealth of information about Egyptian religious beliefs during his reign.
Lost, but alive: This suggests the Ancient Egyptian belief in life after death, where the Pharaoh's ka (spirit) could continue to exist in the afterlife. Death was not considered an ending, but rather a transition into another state of existence.
Seated on the throne of Osiris: Osiris is a central deity in the Egyptian pantheon, often associated with the afterlife, death, life, and resurrection. By suggesting that Unas is seated on Osiris's throne, the text implies that he has been granted a prominent position in the afterlife, akin to becoming a divine ruler himself. This would have been a great honor and signifies the high respect held for Unas.
With your scepter in hand: In Ancient Egypt, the scepter was a symbol of authority and divine power. It was often held by Pharaohs, gods, and goddesses in artistic depictions to indicate their power and status. By stating that Unas has his scepter, the text is reinforcing his power and authority, even in death.
You command the living and the dead: The Pharaohs were considered intermediaries between the gods and people. In the afterlife, this text suggests, Unas still has the power to command both the living and the dead, reflecting his continued importance and reverence in both realms.
A modern equivalent:
John, you are not lost, but alive, seated at the right hand of the Lord. With your shepherd's staff in hand, you guide both those in heaven and on earth.
John: Just like Unas in the ancient text, we have used a name that's commonly found in the Christian context.
Lost, but alive: This phrase draws on Christian beliefs about life after death, where it's believed that the soul continues its existence in Heaven.
Seated at the right hand of the Lord: In Christian tradition, Jesus is described as sitting at the right hand of God, a position of honor and authority. Here, this implies that John has been welcomed into Heaven and is in a place of honor.
With your shepherd's staff in hand: In Christianity, the shepherd's staff is a symbol of guidance and care, often associated with Jesus, the "Good Shepherd," who watches over and protects his followers. By saying John has a shepherd's staff, the passage implies he is guiding and caring for others.
You guide both those in heaven and on earth: In Christian belief, saints and those who've passed on can intercede for those still living. This sentence emphasizes John's continued influence and guidance over those both in Heaven and on earth.
Both of these texts are heartfelt goodbyes. A last expression to send your loved one off, a memorial rooted in in the spiritual tradition of the time and, as I believe, not ritualistic texts or 'spells'. Insofar as it relates to a 'guide' or something for the Pharaoh. It is also noted that these farewells change throughout Egyptian history indicating that they have no formalized structure, much like the texts themself have no formalized nature but are seemingly all over the place, encompassing different perspectives which is evidence of different people's farewells.
Anyways, that is just my opinion for what I have seen so far and I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this perspective. Do you think these texts could embody more personal sentiments than previously considered, or do you uphold the ritualistic interpretation?

--- Table of Contents ---
Autumn 4986, 15 Aoimoth
“Slow down, Squire!” Master Daunas walked around the sixteen Squires. They were all going through the basic motions of knife fighting together, but Shon knew the Weaponsmaster was talking to him specifically. He'd fallen into the rhythm of steel clanging off steel as the eight pairs of Squires went through the practiced strikes of a rehearsed fight. His partner was keeping up, but just barely. If Shon sped up, the boy would fumble, and Shon could disarm him. But that wasn’t the point of this exercise. It wasn’t a sparring match; it was a two man kata. Shon let out a long exhale and slowed down, matching his partner’s pace.
“Sorry,” Kefir, muttered to Shon, “You should try and get Zihler next time. He won’t slow you down.”
Shon arched an eyebrow at Kefir as the two pivoted in unison, spinning but staying together, so they switched places and continued without breaking rhythm. Or that was what was supposed to happen. Kefir stumbled just a little. He still wasn’t very good at quick pivots like that, and knife forms were full of them. Shon slowed down to wait for him to recover, matching his thrust with a counter as rehearsed.
“Don’t give me that look. I know you want to go faster. Zihler’s the most likely to keep... up...” Kefir had to space the last two words as they dodged each other again. More twists and turns he tended to overshoot.
He wasn’t wrong. Shon did want to go faster, wanted to push himself to his limits, and always just a little beyond, but “Speed isn’t the point of this exercise.” Shon said, and Kefir’s brow furrowed. Though if concentrating on Shon’s words or the continued form Shon didn’t know, “It's precision and practice. Keep partnering with Rerves, who's even worse, and you won't improve.”
They slammed together, the hilts of their daggers locking together as they sidestepped in tight circles. Shon could see at least ten different ways he could end a match right here. His left hand was free, as this was a single dagger exercise, and his opponents hardly ever paid attention to his feet. But that wasn’t the point, and Kefir would learn nothing from Shon downing him now, even if it was.
“Thanks,” Kefir spat sarcastically. Shon gave him a purposefully deadpan look in response, and he continued, “You’re the same, though. You won’t get better if you pick the weakest partners.” the two disengaged, jumping back and falling into a ready stance in one motion. Kefir took a heartbeat longer than some of the other boys but didn’t stumble at this speed as he had the last three times they went through the drill.
“I’m better than Zihler…” Shon said, not in pride or arrogance but in truth. When they had first started knife fighting weeks ago, he had partnered with those who seemed to be at the same level as himself or higher. Pushing himself to reach their level and surpass it. Add to that the fact that he often used his free time for more practice, and Shon had jumped to the top of the class as usual only a week into this new weapon.
Shon brought the topic back around to his point, “Practice is practice no matter how fast I go, as long as I have precision.” and, as if to prove his point, the form reached the culminating move, where Shon and Kefir needed to thrust at each other while turning just enough for the blade to pass by their chests. Shon slowed his thrust only at the end, just enough for Kefir to finish his dodge. Adjusting speed in the middle of a strike without pulling it completely wasn't easy, and they both knew it.
That was the end of the kata, and they both stepped back. Kefir looked down at his knife, sighing, “I suck at this, give me a shield or a hammer, and you wouldn’t have to hold yourself back.” he glanced up at Shon and forced a smile he obviously didn’t feel, “Then maybe I could teach you a thing or two…”
Shon nodded, perfectly serious, and when Kefir didn’t seem to understand, he added, “Exactly.”
The bell rang and the other Squires started heading for the weapons rack to return their knives, but Shon held Kefir in place with his eyes. He looked confused, his expression asking the question before his words could, so Shon explained, “You're better at armor and shields than me.”
That actually got a genuine smile from Kefir, “Everyone is better with armor and shields than you, Shon.” Shon humphed but couldn't argue, and Kefir laughed, “You know, if you spent your extra time actually practicing with the stuff you need practice in, instead of the things you're already the best at, you would get better.”
Shon ran his fingers through sweaty hair. It was only two finger widths long but still needed to be cut. He wanted to argue that practicing with the heavy weapons without armor in his free time was the only reason he was still the top in those as well. But instead, he nodded in acquiescence to Kefir’s observation.
“Hey,” Kefir stepped forward and poked Shon with the hilt of his dagger. Even with his thicker winter uniform on, they avoided touching him, “I get what you’re saying. We each have our own strengths and weaknesses. Thank you for trying to help me with mine.” The thanks was genuine this time, now that the frustration of the practice was over, and Shon nodded. Kefir continued, “Why don’t we make a deal? I’ll let you help me catch up to you in this if you let me help you with armor work. Master Daunas wants to get you in plate, but if you can’t even move in banded mail, you’ll never make it in the heavier stuff.”
Shon let his head fall back in frustration but nodded. Kefir laughed and the two returned their daggers without further words. Shon split from the rest of the stragglers in the courtyard, moving towards the bench beside the wall and the barrel for catching rainwater beside it. This deep into autumn, the water was sometimes frozen in the mornings, but Shon preferred it that way. Reaching in, he splashed handfuls of it on the back of his neck. The others would be heading for the hot showers, but with sixteen of them and only ten shower heads, Shon would wait until they were all done before washing properly.
“I’ll meet you after study time!” Kefir called as he walked by to try and reach the showers with the first group. Shon waved without turning around. He knew Kefir was right. He should focus his extra time on improving his weaknesses. But that didn’t mean he had to like it.
***
The mess hall where they had their meals had one long table set in the middle with enough space for fifteen Squires on each side. Around it were set smaller circular tables for the Paladins stationed in Hamerfoss and one larger near the door for the officers. Against one wall was another long table with plates, bowls, and food where they would each gather their meal before finding their seats.
The seats weren’t assigned, but Shon always sat at the farthest end of the Squire’s table, with his left facing the walkway so he wouldn’t bump anyone with his elbow as he ate. No one ever took the spot. It was an unspoken consensus amongst the Squires that that was Shon’s seat. The rest tended to congregate in the middle, talking and poking friendly fun at each other, extending their break into the dinner meal.
Shon took his place and started eating without joining in. They didn’t try to include him most of the time, and he was content to just listen. “Hey, Shon,” Rerves called from down the table, and Shon looked up from his plate to show he was listening, “I hear Kefir’s going to help you with armor tonight. Can I come?” Shon shrugged, turning back to his meal. Rerves went back to his conversation, and dinner continued as usual. The Squires ignoring Shon.
They filtered out of the mess hall as they each finished their dinner at their own pace, some heading to the chapel for prayer and others to the library for study. Shon made his way to the library, pausing in the doorway and debating with himself. If he joined the others at the larger table, they would try and talk to him. They seemed to think it was their duty to include him if he was there. But if he sat alone at the two-man table by the window, they would leave him alone. It meant he wouldn’t be able to ask them questions if one came up, but it also meant they wouldn’t bother him with pointless asides…
Tonight, he joined the study group. The subject they'd started a few weeks ago wasn’t one he had taken to easily, an in-depth history of Gasha province, so he wanted to be able to talk when needed.
It started as soon as he finished the first page, “So Shon, when do you think Master Veon-Zih will be back?”
“Winter Solstice,” Shon answered shortly, rereading the sentence. The others whispered around him about Master Veon-Zih, something about if he would dance with the pretty baker again this year…
“Hey Shon, do you know if Monks train in dancing too?”
Shon placed his finger over the paragraph he'd reached, knowing he would have to reread it after the interruption. He shook his head. When they continued to look at him, he sighed, glaring up at them. This was supposed to be study time… “He learned how after he left the Monastery.”
He reread his paragraph and managed to finish the chapter before running his hand through his hair in frustration at the text. Looking up, he said, “We’ve read about the war between Gasha and Swailand, but this doesn’t say anything about why they went to war in the first place.”
“Fishing rights, I think?” Thom answered, flipping through his own book, “Knowing those Horsa Bast…” he cut off before finishing the curse, glancing at the Paladin acting as librarian, before continuing, “I bet they wanted to extend their fishing to the area around Gasha, and they are just as likely to fight each other as us.”
Rehlien slid a new book Shon’s way, “Here, read this one next. It gets into the justification a little more than that one.” Shon nodded his thanks, taking the book and placing it under the one he was still finishing.
But his question had opened the door to more derailing chatter, “You really like to know the why of things, don’t you, Shon?”
Shon nodded, hoping this talk would at least be relevant, but “You’re like that in etiquette too. That’s probably why you struggle so much.” Shon shrugged. Etiquette didn’t seem to have a point, but that wasn’t what they were supposed to be studying now, “I find some things ‘just are’ because of tradition…” the boy trailed off as Shon glared at him, his words freezing in his throat. When silence had returned, Shon went back to his book. He should've just sat alone.
***
Kefir and Rerves were already waiting in the sparring ring by the time Shon showed up dressed in his banded mail. The armor rubbed uncomfortably around his neck and the thick gambeson underneath bunched at his joints, limiting his range of motion by at least a few inches. It also weighed him down, which he'd managed to convince himself was good for strength training, but was incredibly frustrated by for sparring.
Kefir already had his sword and shield and held an extra bastard sword for him, so Shon went right for the ring, stifling a frustrated sigh as he took the proffered weapon.
Rerves grinned at the look on Shon’s face, saying, “We figured you'd be miserable enough in the armor alone, that we should channel some of Soleil's compassion and let you use your best weapon instead of the hammer.” to which Shon was grateful. Making him practice in the armor with a weapon he still hadn’t mastered would've been adding salt to the wound.
“Let’s do some stretches and warm-ups first.” Kefir started, “Your problem isn’t being afraid to take a hit with the armor,” Rerves laughed out loud, but Kefir continued with only a grin, “It’s in having to adjust your mobility. So let's re-imprint that before we try any sparring.”
They went through stretches, the two of them seeming to match Shon in flexibility only because he was hampered by the armor, then moved on to solo sword forms. Even though the armor was only about thirty-five pounds evenly distributed, Shon still felt sluggish. When they moved on to sparring, Rerves beat him soundly while Kefir watched, tilting his head back and forth like Master Daunas and trying to give advice that didn’t help. Shon could fight, he knew the proper blocks and parries better than they did, but too often he would either not make up for his lack of speed or would overcompensate and swing too hard.
Kefir took his turn, lifting his shield and watching Shon raise his sword to the ready, “Honestly, Shon, I don’t know what to do besides have you practice more and just get used to it.”
“Sometimes that’s all you can do,” Rerves said from the side as he slipped off his helmet. Shon knew they were right in some regards but couldn’t entirely dismiss his frustration at the thought that he was missing something that he needed to learn and not just have beaten into him. He was grateful for his companion’s help but annoyed at their inability to teach.
Rerves gave the order to "Lay on!" and Shon and Kefir engaged. Shon could predict Kefir's moves, could practically see them in his mind's eye, but barely reacted in time, his arm not bending as far or fast as he wanted it to. He gritted his teeth, glaring at the other Squire, trying to sidestep around but moving too slow compared to Kefir, who just needed to turn in place. Shon took a step back and planted his feet. If he could force Kefir to make the larger motions, then perhaps he could focus on redirecting the boy’s attacks.
Kefir hesitated. Shon was most dangerous when he stood his ground, and they both knew it. The hesitation just gave Shon more time to try and strategize. Not that it had helped at all before. Maybe if he could somehow slow Kefir down, or focus on trapping his weapon, then it wouldn’t matter that Shon wasn’t as fast as he would be without the damn armor. Kefir tested Shon’s guard with a few half-hearted attacks that Shon deflected, waiting. When the other Squire finally committed fully, Shon let go of his sword with his left hand, twisted to dodge, and grabbed Kefir’s sword arm.
Just stop. Stop long enough for me to hit you… Kefir tried to pull away but couldn’t. Despite the poor grip Shon had with the thick gloves that were part of the armor, the two Squires seemed lashed together. Kefir twisted his shoulders so he could lift his shield to deflect Shon’s oncoming attack, but his feet didn’t move. His eyes went wide, and his shield came up barely in time to hit Shon’s sword, the tip still reaching over to clang off Kefir’s helm with a glancing blow.
Kefir fell backward and Shon, still clinging to his arm, was pulled on top of him. The boy yelled, and Shon rolled, letting go of Kefir and hearing something like glass breaking over the clanging of armor and screaming of his fellow. Shon rolled to absorb the shock of the fall and twisted to find Kefir on his back, his knees still straight and his boots stuck to the ground. Encased in ice.
The ice climbed up his boots to his shins, but Kefir was gripping his arm, trying to pull more ice from where Shon had been holding him. It continued to grow, soon encasing his hand and sword hilt. Rerves rushed forward, trying to help pry the sword free while the ice on his legs grew past his boots and under his greaves. Kefir screamed again, in pain and fear.
The Paladins on the wall began yelling, their leader taking command, sending some to help the boys and others to run for the fortress. Shon watched in horror as Kefir’s legs and arm were slowly encased in ice, his lips trembling and turning blue. He would be covered soon, Shon knew it, could picture it happening, like a waking nightmare. It would trap his brother Squire and anyone else touching it…
The ice started clawing at Rerves fingers, trying to gain hold and freeze him too.
“What in all the hells?!” Master Daunas showed up with a gaggle of Paladins and the Cleric, who all fell around the boys. Some took out their belt knives and tried to break the ice apart; others began to chant spells to either melt the ice or keep Kefir warm.
Master Daunas searched above the throng for answers and, finding Shon, cursed. He ran around the larger group, grabbing Shon by the arm and wrenching him away, practically dragging him across the courtyard towards the fortress proper. Someone called out in triumph as Shon reached the fortress door and Daunas forced him through it.
What had happened? Had they freed Kefir? Would he be alright? What happened?!
Daunas was still cursing as he slammed the door and spun on Shon, who stared blankly through the Weaponmaster. Panic, he was trying so hard not to panic. Was trying to figure out what had happened, trying to play through the entire thing again, picturing it from outside his body. Was the ice what had allowed him to hold on to Kefir? Was it still climbing up Kefir's legs? Was that why the older Squire wasn’t able to pull back and block properly? Had Shon...
“Calm down, boy.” Daunas reached for Shon’s shoulders but pulled back a moment later, shaking his hands and cursing as they reddened from the cold, “Breathe, boy. Look at me, think warm thoughts.”
Think warm thoughts? What did that even mean? Shon found Daunas’s eyes and saw the Weaponmaster scared for the first time, “Breathe, slow and steady, like old man V taught you. You need to control your energy…” his lips were pale and trembling, his breath coming out in a cloud before him. had it been that cold outside? Shon couldn’t feel it...
Shon closed his eyes and breathed. Control his energy… He pulled himself in, finding his center and gathering around it, “That’s it, boy, like that.” Shon breathed in his energy, his ki, holding it in his gut, storing it for later when he could use it to focus a strike and give it more power, just like Master Veon-Zih had taught him. And just like Master had taught him, he tried to let go of his worries, to clear his mind, if only for now.
Kefir would be alright, almost every adult here could cast healing spells, and at least half of them were with him now. It was okay. Shon could relax, let go, calm down… Suddenly exhausted, Shon nearly collapsed right there in the hallway. Daunas caught him, slowly lowering him to the stones.
Shon could feel himself slipping into unconsciousness, but not fast enough to miss Master Daunas’s last curse, “Damn it, boy, why did you have to be a Sorcerer?”
***
“He has to go to the Mages Guild.” Major General Davies Selibra, Paladin head of Hamerfoss, stated to those gathered in his office. It was a simple room containing two sets of closed cabinets on either side of a large desk facing the door with two seats positioned in front of it. Shon sat in one of those seats, his head hanging and fists clenched tightly in his lap.
Master Daunas slammed his palm down on the desk. He seemed too agitated to sit, or perhaps he just didn’t want to sit next to Shon, who was radiating cold like a fire radiated heat, “We can’t, Selibra! He’s the most promising fighter I’ve ever trained. He’ll lose too much time.” the Weaponmaster's words puffed out as white fog from his lips.
Major General Selibra sat behind his desk and rubbed his temples, “It’s the law Daunas, he either needs to get a clearance or be sealed.”
“Can’t be a Paladin with the tattoo…” Smith Nangran muttered from his position leaning on the door. Shon was too focused on his predicament to wonder why the Smith was even here. A thin layer of ice began to form at his feet.
“It’s the law…” Selibra said again, weary, “If he had awakened sooner, he might have been able to get his clearance before training, but…”
Daunas threw his hands into the air, bellowing, “It takes years to get a clearance. If they even let him. Those Mages would rather just mark the boy up and be done with it!”
A sealing tattoo. They would want to block the magic. Seal it away in his body where it couldn’t hurt anyone. Kefir had suffered severe frostbite as well as a broken ankle. Lucky for him, he was surrounded by divine conduits and was fine, but what if Shon lost control again? Who would the ice entomb? Master Veon-Zih? Innocent citizens he was supposed to protect? Shon’s nails dug furrows into his palms as he clenched his fists tighter. The ice crawled up the legs of his chair and crystalized on the backs of his hands.
The adults continued to talk around him, “The law is clear, Daunas. The magic either needs to be trained or sealed. There are no exceptions.” The law never made exceptions. It’s what kept everything running at top proficiency. Shon admired that… and understood it, as even now he couldn't control the sorcerous ice.
Shon tried to slow his breathing, relax his hands. The ice cracked over his fingers as he forced them out of their fists. It was responding to his emotions, his fear, and horror at what he'd done. What he was. If he could just pull it in, stifle the emotions feeding it, then the magic wouldn't be able to control him…
Ice continued to inch up the chair, and Selibra rubbed his hands together to warm them. They'd been pointedly and purposely ignoring the winter-like cold since bringing Shon to the office.
“Tattoos aren’t the only way to seal magic…” Nangran stated from the door. Daunas and Selibra stopped arguing, and Shon’s head shot up. He turned slowly to watch the Smith who combed absently at his beard, “Law says sorcerer magic needs to be trained or sealed, doesn’t say how.”
“I know the law Nangran,” Selibra still sounded defeated. “A council of Mages, including one of the rank Archmage, must determine if a Sorcerer is capable of controlling his or her power. If they determine the power is too great a risk to the kingdom, then said power will be made unable to manifest. Sealed.” the Major General recited, most likely for Shon’s benefit. Shon's heart pounded in his chest, and the fires that lit the room dimmed.
“What are you suggesting?” Daunas asked Nangran curiously. The smith only talked when necessary, using grunts and nods instead of words whenever possible. That was probably why Shon liked him so much. It also meant he wouldn’t have contradicted Selibra unless he had a reason.
“Know a guy. Used to make sealing items for the guild…” Nangran said with a shrug, as though Shon’s future didn’t hinge on his point, “Owes me a favor…”
“You’re not talking about that mad hermit who comes barging in here once or twice a year, are you?” Daunas asked, looking stunned.
Nangran nodded with a confirming hum. “Still Archmage in good standing…”
The Weaponmaster looked ecstatic, shouting, “Nangran, you’re a genius!” he slammed his hands down on the desk again, breath puffing out in thick clouds as his excitement grew. Nangran grunted.
Daunas turned back to the Major General, who actually looked intrigued. Shon’s heart tried to beat its way out of his chest. “This is it, Selibra! This Archmage can make the boy a sealing item. I’m sure the Temple will vouch for him. He’s our top Squire.” Shon was still too terrified to feel proud of the compliment and watched Major General Selibra with wide desperate eyes. Ice started forming on his hands again, looking like clawed talons.
“The Mages Guild hasn’t given out sealing stones for generations…” Selibra hummed, and Shon barely stopped the desperate whine before it could escape, his fingernails drawing blood on his palms as he balled them into fists again, breaking the ice claws. “but we can at least try.” Selibra finished, focusing on Shon, his brown eyes still looking sad, “Are you sure you want this, Shon? As a Paladin, you won’t be able to train with your elemental magic unti-”
“Yes, Sir!” Shon shouted, leaning forward in his seat and breaking the ice off its legs. He fell back a moment later, embarrassed by his outburst. More quietly, he said again, “Yes, Sir. I don’t want this magic. I want to be a Paladin.” more than anything in his entire life, he'd wanted to be a Paladin…
“Very well,” Major General Selibra stood, resting his fingertips on his desk. Speaking as if to himself, he muttered, “Perhaps this is a sign from Hengist.” looking up, he addressed Nangran, “Tomorrow you will take Squire Shon to this Archmage friend of yours. Gods willing, he will be able to seal the sorcerer magic without hindering his divine capabilities.” he failed to hide a shiver from the cold.
***
Her candles burned hot and bright, flickering wildly as She paced around Her little room. Something was happening in Her tower. There were far too many people with strangers' voices out Her window and beyond Her door.
Brom and Ran continued to visit, but they wouldn’t answer Her questions, wouldn’t take Her for samples, or to see Her treasures. The first made Her angry, the second gave Her energy, and the last scared Her enough to stop asking questions. What if they took Her books again? They hadn’t given Her a reason She couldn’t see Her treasures, so maybe they would soon… maybe tomorrow...
***
“Tomorrow,” Morndancer stated as Shaloon let herself into his room. The transfer preparations had taken months. MONTHS! They were Mages. No. Greater than Mages. They were Warlocks. And yet, everything still took far too long. They could instantly communicate with allies across the kingdom but still had to spend time making the proper arrangements. They could travel miles in a blink but still had to painstakingly pack every book and file, disassemble and disenchant the golems guarding the tower over days and even weeks. If it had been a true emergency -if they'd been found- they could've destroyed everything, vanishing all evidence of their presence and research. But the Master Archmages had forbidden it in this case.
“The western Talon is ready to receive us,” Shaloon confirmed, “What of the subjects? Archmage Yarna has no interest in animal husbandry..."
“The Firewyrm is all she is interested in. It is the only reason she agreed to take us.” Morndancer sat on his bed and stared at the pseudodragon perched on his desk, its leathery wings half furled and its tail twitching over the side of the desk, “I will handle the animal subjects tomorrow. Just make sure you are ready to open the portal out when I am done.” she could only open one portal a day, sometimes two but it would leave her incapacitated for at least a day after.
“Tomorrow then,” Shaloon confirmed, leaving him alone with his running mind and the little pretend dragon, that seemed to stare through his skin and into his soul.
***
Shon couldn’t sleep. Once again, his entire future hung on what would happen tomorrow. And just like the divine test and the road to Hamerfoss, there was nothing he could do to speed up the process. It was out of his hands. Out of his control. Just like the ice now clouding the window and the frost freezing the blankets to the mattress.
He tapped the blank page of his open journal with his pencil. The images running through his mind were the last he wanted to solidify on paper. He tried drawing something else… Kefir smiling warmly at him for the second thank you. Rerves leaning forward and shouting to him across the dinner table. The study group conversing in whispers instead of studying…
He wrote about it all between the drawings but everything that happened after pushed at his mind, the scenes forming in his vision. Shon drew Kefir again, lying on his back and tugging at the ice forming on his sword arm. Then a group scene with the Paladins falling around him, their faces focused, and hands glowing with spells to try and save him… Master Daunas’s scared eyes as he ordered Shon to ‘think warm thoughts...'
With two pages full of various sketches and commentary, Shon dropped his pencil and rested his head on his desk. Why? Was this why he was so cold to the touch? Sorcerers were rare; those with ice power were the rarest even amongst them. Should they have noticed something was wrong sooner? Would Hengist really accept someone like him? Chose a Sorcerer to be one of his extensions in Daanlin?
Shon closed his eyes, breathing slowly and trying not to cry. If they forced him to go to the Mages Guild, he would never be able to fight again. He was sure of it. All his hard work and dedication. All those years of disciplined practice, gone in one instance where he lost control. Where he almost killed a friend.
Everything he was, everything he would be, hinged on the following day. “Tomorrow…” Shon whispered into the dark, his candle finally flickering to die in the cold.
--- Table of Contents ---
Thanks for making it this far, you are the real MVP

I have been employed at this factory for 2.5 years now (non union). We bring in temps from a staffing agency, then after 90 days we either hire them on or let them go. It is constantly short staffed due to a high turnover rate and just about weekly you see a new face or faces.
A few days ago I had to ask a temp that had been there two weeks, not to take break on the forktruck and to turn the music down. He had connected his phone to the radio in the forktruck and had rap music blaring, sounding like it was about to blow the speakers. In retrospect maybe I should have just let it go, but I use the truck as well as others and don’t want the speakers blown by anyone, much less by a guy who most likely won’t be there very long.
So, I went to the lead who was sitting there. I asked him to go tell the guy who he was training to turn it down. The lead (who isn’t a lead in anything but a title) said no that he wasn’t walking over there. I’ll admit; this temp had a tough look about him. His walk, his face tattoos, his whole demeanor screamed trouble, but I went anyway and asked him to turn it down and explained why. He immediately got mad and said, “Who the F*** are you?? Your not my boss so idgaf.” I replied with something along the lines of, “Is that right? Ok, we’ll see how much of a f you give.” He jumped off the forktruck and got in my face. He was cussing and threatening me and I just kept telling him that I was not going to fight him, especially not at work. I have a family that depends on my income. It wasn’t even an option. So I backed away then turned and went on to break inside.
20 minutes or so had passed and I was thinking he’d calm down and it was over, and I began to heat up my dinner and get my drink, etc. I looked up to see him walking into the break room, he was staring straight at me and then walked right up to my face. He kept saying “do something” and I kept replying thst I wasn’t fighting at work. I made the mistake of turning my back to him to leave the break room. When I did he swung a metal water thermos over his head and cracked the back of my head with it. I was seeing stars. It gashed my ear open so there was a lot of blood (that freaked me out) and left a huge pump knot on my head. He immediately started punching me in the face and head, so I tried to just wrap him up to stop the punches from landing. He ended up on top of me, punching me over and over. What seemed to me like a lifetime later a couple guys tried to drag him off of me, and when they did he kicked me in the nose first and then in the forehead, with steel toe boots. I was far from coherent after that. There were two witnesses in the room when it happened and a handful more when they were pulling him off of me. All wrote statements saying I didn’t fight back.
they took him somewhere else and sat me down to look at the damage. No hr was there or safety so a supervisor tried to clean my ear with alcohol pad to see the cuts, eventually sending me into the bathroom to wash my face and head off so he could see how bad it was. I had a ton of blood on me. They handed me a pen and had me write what happened, had the witnesses do the same. All the stories said that I was attacked , didn’t fight back or anything. The dept head put a bandaid over my ear to try and stop the bleeding. Pretty much taped my ear. My nose stopped on its own.
Then they sent ME home. I ride a Harley to work. They know that. The next day hr asked me to come in so safety could check my damage and they asked my story again. It was like an interrogation. And no cops were called either, btw. They said they couldn’t tell me if I was fire or if I still had my job until the investigation was over. It has been four days now and they still haven’t told me.
On the second day my migraine got much worse. I called them and told them I needed to go to the dr. The safety person met me at the dr, to do all the workers comp paperwork etc. Dr said concussion. Referred me for a cat scan. Dr there said my brain looked ok and all my facial structure is ok. But is treating me for concussion (my understanding is that the brain can be okay without damage and still be concussed). The er called the cops to report the assault. Even the cop was shocked by the fact that hr had me suspended pending investigation still. He even said given the evidence I shouldn’t have anything to worry about. He said that to the safety lady from work. So I was sent home again, now with a documented concussion from the incident.
I feel like my job has done me really dirty. It felt shady the way they were questioning me, looking for an “aha” moment or an inconsistency in my story. Even if I had said something inappropriate or argued, that shouldn’t make it okay to be assaulted with a weapon and then stomped out on company property. But It felt like they were just looking for an excuse to blame me for his actions and to fire me as well. I feel like they severely mishandled the situation. And I’m scared of losing my income. So I’m wondering what steps I should take if they do fire me, would I have any legal grounds to object on or file on? Please help with advice, I really need it. Thank you all.

Bismillah. Thoughts of ex-shia brother Husayn.
http://forum.twelvershia.net/ex-shias/random-thoughts-of-an-ex-shii/

When somebody is asked a question such as "why did you leave your religion?", I guarantee you that most will have a hard time explaining. Not because they are unsure about why they left it, but because explaining it briefly is a difficult thing. A thousand thoughts start flying through your head, dozens of topics come to mind, and a person is left with many unfinished explanations trailing through their consciousness.
So, I thought a fun thing to do would be to make a thread where I can just ramble on, and put into words all the millions of neurons flying through my brain.
------
Random thoughts #1
One of the biggest reasons I left Shiism is because almost all of the Shii theories have no Qur'anic backing. One of those happens to be the concept of Imamah - 'Ali's succession, 12 Imams, Divinely appointed Imams after Rasul Allah (saw) e.t.c.
I love listening to Qur'an, and I listen to it sometimes for hours on end. Once, quite randomly, I was sitting around listening to a recitation, and it happened to be Surat Hujrat, specifically this verse:
Quote
49:15The believers are only the ones who have believed in Allah and His Messenger and then doubt not but strive with their properties and their lives in the cause of Allah . It is those who are the truthful.
As I was sitting their listening - I thought to myself - "Why no mention of the Imams? Or Ahlul Bait? Or 'Ali??". Why, whenever Allah (swt) says in the Qur'an - "The believers are such and such", does he never mention anything to do with Imamah? Here, Allah (swt) says that "the believers are those who believe in Allah and His Messenger" - so why not just add "And 'Ali", or "And His successor", or "And the Imams" - something, anything at all to do with Imam 'Ali??
Why!?!
I then did a bit of a mental exercise in my head. It went a little something like this:
Let's say I took a completely ignorant, yet highly literate and intelligent person, and gave them a copy of the Qur'an (with no tafsir). I told them - "Read and study this for a year, and then I'll come back and we'll have a discussion".
So, I come back after a year, and I ask a few questions, and these are the answers I expect to get:
Q: Is Allah one or two?A: One, ofcourse!
Q: Is Muhammad the Messenger of Allah?A: Yes!
Q: Do you have to pray, fast, give charity, and do Hajj?A: Uh-huh, obviously!
Q: Is there a Day of Judgement?A: Derr!!!
Q: Are the Prophet's companions and followers good people?A: Yes, definitely!
Q: Who is your Imam?A: Huh?
Q: Isn't Ali an Imam, and successor to the Prophet?A: I'm not sure what you mean? Wait a sec, can I have another year to study this?Me: Sure, take 20!
....
20 years later
Q: So, who should succeed the Prophet? Isn't 'Ali the successor? Aren't his descendants the Imams?A: I think I need another 20 years!

I took 20mg of 4-ho-mipt orally yesterday around 7h30 pm on empty stomach (last meal was at 1h pm) and this was freaking awesome!
I was afraid that I wouldn't feel much since I have a weird natural tolerance to drugs in general (I needed 3-3,5g to have a decent trip with open eyes visuals) but 20mg was perfect for my first trip, it exceeded my expectations.
0h : Just before I go outside to water my plants, I smoked some weed to help me with the coming up since coming up drains me so much (not recommended if you are not an experienced psychonaut).
0h45 after dosing : I started to feel the coming up, exactly like shrooms, stomach discomfort and getting tired, weirdly my body wanted me really bad to eat to get back its energy, but I didn't since as soon as I eat, my trip is killed. I finished watering my plants, went back inside and went to bed. I started to get cold, litteraly freezing in my bedsheets.
1h : I went to the bathroom, looked at my floor and started to notice that it was getting trippy, trailing color saturation was shifting. I decided to turn off any light sources in my room to see the full potential of the visuals and I was NOT disappointed at all!
My thought process was getting really exploded, intense "in my face" visuals, not like that "open space feeling" on shrooms. The visuals were like I'm thinking about an image and that image started to fold on itself, merging to itself and than I could see some really spiky colorful corner on each sides and folded corners. It was like an electric agressif sharp spiky type of visuals, all twisting together. In comparison to shrooms with are more gradual in terms of visual intensity, this one was like an on off switch. 15 min before, no visuals and then, it was hard to distinguish reality from dreams. I got completely immersed into this weird twisting spiky universe, ad some weird conversation that were just weird sounds, no words and it felt like it normal, like i really had a normal conversation. No idea what was said.
1h45 in, jumping from planes to planes, was really hard to realize I was just tripping and not thinking that was my reality, I had to really concentrate to get out of my head if I wanted to take my phone. At this point, im giggly as fuck, everything feels and looks amazing, I feel like a kid having the best time of my life!
2h05 : That 20 min felt like hours, I was like in the "center of my on head", can't really explain what exactly it consists of, like a room with grass on the floor, a main poll to support the "roof" and there's that weird... Dude? That was swinging around that poll enjoying himself and said "finally your here, in your own mind". I was a bit confused, someone I don't know in my "mind yard" that decided to invite himself and than I realized I just don't care, not giving a damn fuck about anything and it was just hilarious to me. That dude and I kept chatting for like what felt hours in unknown non human languages and I realized I was the one who invited him, he was litteraly the human form of 4-ho-mipt, such a weird funky dude, all spiky, green-bluish shirt, long arms and legs, almost squeletic with an electric vibe, like sparks where snapping here and there around his head.
Suddenly i went from freezing to overheating, open the light to drink water and like it usually does with shrooms, the light killed the visuals, even the closed eyes visuals had a hard time starting back. 2h45 in, i decided to do some s-ket to spike up the visuals and it felt like everything just stop. Instead of being overly excited and happy, I turned really calm and happy, just enjoying the moment. And then, everything started to get blown away, everything I looked or imagining was getting blown by huge winds, like there was a windy filter on my vision. Less spiky, more windy, it felt like my mind had a storm without doing any damages on my "mind property".
4h : most of the trip was done and i got a flash of an animal form of 4-ho-mipt that I will definitely draw soon! I decided to smoke some weed again and let my mind slip again in this weird thunderstorm trip, it felt like the storm was far from me now, like that trip was slowly fading away, calmness after a big storm.
It was really fucking awesome, I really loved it! Spiky agressif electric storm trip, planes of reality and dream mixing with eachother, less "body/emotionally heavy" than shrooms, 100% would recommend 😁 Next time, I'll go for 40 mg, i want to see it's hurricane form 🔥

I've listened to the album a few times and I'm just not feeling it. Keeper of the celestial flame was great, I love fly away, brothers of crail has a catchy hook, Fife eternal is probably the second fave next to Keeper. Imperium Dundaxia I like a lot as well.
The more "talking" parts of some songs seem very rushed or pit of place.
Sozos was badass of the vocals, it sounded great but for the the lyrics and talking portions just fell off for me.
Re using part of Holy Foaming hammer at the end of the last song really gave me the impression of "We need to put something here let's reuse."
The sound and singing was the best for me. lyrics left me wanting more.

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up 2 years ago after having dated for almost 2 years. We had been living together for 9 months when we broke up.
Our break up was completely my fault, I betrayed him by cheating on him with a co-worker. The last time I spoke to him was the day he found out, he didn't even give me an opportunity to explain or even say "I'm sorry". He moved out for 3 days and said I must be gone when he returns. I tried texting and calling but he had blocked me on everything. For weeks I tried to get a hold of him, he threatened to get a restraining order against me so I stopped.
Yesterday I saw him entering some restaurant with a woman - I think it's his girlfriend. I called out his name and he looked back, when he saw it was me, he just continued and went into the restaurant. I went into the restaurant as they were signing in and asked to speak to him, he ignored me but the woman he was with asked him to here me out. We stepped out of the restaurant and before I could say anything he told me he doesn't care how sorry I am or how much I regret betraying him, he wants absolutely nothing to do with me, he said I'm a stranger to him and even if I were to die he wouldn't attend my funeral not would he want me to attend his a d he walked away. I've been crying since then, I couldn't even go to work today.
I completely understand that I betrayed this man and broke his heart, all I want is for him to know that I'm really sorry for what I did to him, even if he doesn't forgive me, I just need him to know that I take full responsibility for my actions and that I didn't cheat because of something he did or didn't do.
My cheating has completely changed him, he was so gentle, loving, kind and thoughtful towards me. He helped me get through some difficult times in my life and I thanked him by cheating on him. He really hates me, I could see it in his eyes and I heard it in his voice.
I feel that I'll never be able to move forward until he hears how sorry I am to have hurt him so much and that I'm working on becoming a better person. I'm thinking of writing him a letter but I don't know to get it to him.
How can I let my ex-boyfriend know how sorry I am for hurting him?

Hello. This is my first time posting something here, so I hope this get attention of many people because I would appreciate many advice and opinions from other people. It's most likely gonna be long, but please, please, please bear with me.
My mother (40+ years old) wants to remarry. Before I get into that, a little(?) background. We are broken in many aspects especially in relationship, feelings and finance. Honestly, it was just... a life. Good life? I don't know probably never was a good life but never actually know or experience that since I was innocent (Literally, a baby. Like kids.). You know, we live and eat and go to school and just living a normal life. We were not rich but back then, it was enough. We don't have that much money but somehow, it was enough. Would like to be in that time where I don't understand much so I thought I'm living a problem-free life :'). But safe to say, I was happy. We were. For that, Alhamdulillah.
Time passed by, yesterday I was playing tag at the back of the class then suddenly I was 13. Went to boarding school (I was a smart kid. Yeah, was). Financially, it got worse, but we managed. I was 15. Mom got cheated on. My parents divorced. I was in a middle of a big exam, so you know how the situation like but let's not get into that. Got straight A's tho and got into a better boarding school. School started and what I thought just a normal, usual school life turns into a total opposite when I realized I was not smart anymore. It was really hard for me to process things coz I was close to my father. Obviously, I was not in a good mental and even physical condition. Still not tho tsk. Probably got to do with the divorce thingy but we're Asian so no such thing 🤷‍♀️
My relationship with my father? Bad. It was bad, indeed. Not the screaming yelling at each other kinda bad, my mom did that already. More like not talking, not speaking, not seeing each other for a long time because I despised him, and I was full of resentment kinda bad. Just normal human feelings.
My mom? Same. I mean we're good but not with my father. Back and forth to the court, got the whole custody thing. Mind you she was cheated on, no money whatsoever coz she was a housewife. I watched her rise from ashes like a phoenix and became a stronger woman, a stronger mother to me, my other siblings and our cats.
About 2 years ago maybe? I was 20, I honestly don't remember how but our relationship my father got better. Long story short, we're now talking to each other and all. We're good. We went through a lot, especially my mom. If it can do this much damage to me, imagine my mom. That's what I always tell myself. The reason why I'm telling you my POV a lot and also my mom too because I want you to understand, what it would be in my shoe and also in her shoe.
Ever since, my mom has been single, I've grown used to her dynamic as a single mom and a family of just us you know, and we've developed a close bond over time. But now (well, since around a year ago), she's ready to move on and find love again, and I'm having a hard time processing it all. Despite other hardships that came with life along the way, we're still together.
On one hand, I want my mother to be happy and fulfilled in her life. She deserves love, just like anyone else. Deep down, I want her to be truly happy. But at the same time, I never like the idea of having other person, a new person in my life. Yes, the thought of her finding love and just wanting to marry again, I never like it. Probably because I also didn't agree to the divorce but 'for the best' (But I stayed silent the whole time). I TRIED I SWEAR I TRIED to open my mind and heart, works on some but not everything. I mean I talked to my father again after years so it shouldn't be that bad, but I CANNOT.
I always feel like 'Are we not enough in your life that you have to marry someone else? Do you forget what happened? I thought you all about I'm gonna rise as a woman and like kinda hate man well not hate but like because of what happened you know but now you're want to find love like eww' BUT I knew I was kinda projecting(?) my trauma on her life choices. BUT STILL UGH THIS IS COMPLICATED HELP.
Okay, anyways. She decided to remarry. She said she wanted to discuss about something because someone proposed her. For the first time, I genuinely opened my mind and heart on it. I was surprised I did. Never would I think I would even want to have that discussion, but I did anyways. Probably because I also want the best for her in any ways possible, and I want to understand. I sat there, listening, discussing and asking. But to my surprise, she was not on the same boat. She was defensive. Why? Even other people around us noticed it (her sisters and mom were there too), so we're not really the problem here. What's happening? She did not want to have that conversation she didn't even want to be there atp. I thought we were having a discussion, what's with the tone? It's not like we didn't want it or anything, dang we're not even there yet, it was just questions, but she was pissed. Why?
Even her sister called her out for being too defensive, we were just asking questions of course we want to know. Atp she just thinks my mom was never really want to discuss after all, she just wants to have it her own way. She keeps repeating stuff like, why can't you understand simple thing? Gesturing and even her tone depicting that she's annoyed with all the questions and say stuff like 'It's my life', 'if you don't like it go and live with your father' and all. Obviously, it's not a simple thing. Yea, it's your life but in your life consists of us here and well, I'm old enough to voice myself out, but what about the others? They are literally 12 years old and younger; they have no choice but to just follow, no? Someone needs to at least let them be clear of what their life would be, no? What if they feel a sense of loss and apprehension. I worry about how this new relationship might change them. Will they still have the same level of closeness and connection with her? Will they feel left out or neglected? How about their safety? yes, safety. You'll know later why I said that. These questions keep swirling in my mind, creating uncertainty and anxiety. We're discussing here to clear things up, obviously this is not just 'simple thing'. Me aside, you are bringing in these kids to a new life, it's not 'simple' and there is no way in hell they will voice it out. Especially to my mom. She's always so defensive. Prolly because of what happened. SEE? I understand her, but at the same time, I ... UGH.
You know what makes it even more... I don't know the word but here's the thing. WE ARE BROKE. Even now. I asked her, what that man do for a living, how much is his salary? She was pissed, I can tell. I justify my questions, I explained, NICELY, like how today's world is not the same as back then. If he can't afford to financially support us, prolly need to rethink and all. Considering that my mom will turn to be a housewife again after marrying that man (which most probably the case she always dreams of a break from work and just yk live), I JUST DON'T WANT SAME THING TO HAPPEN AGAIN.
I know at one point you would want to point it out this while reading this - Yes, I can work and support my whole family. But I'm still studying and struggling to even battle these whispers in my head. I always feel like I'm useless. I'm taking all this courses and all so that I can start work asap. I'm useless and such a burden. Correct. But I'm working on it, it takes time I'm sorry I'm not smart anymore, it takes so much time. I even start learning trading, but I just don't understand anything I'm dumb now. Although at times I felt so unfair. They, especially my mom wants me to continue studying, get into uni all but when people were insulting me for being a burden living in this house rent free while my mom works, they are just silent. Almost like they are agreeing. When I burst and say that I don't want to even do this I do this for them, suddenly everyone have amnesia. Implying that I take this upon myself. If I dont get into uni, I'm a failure. Now, I get into uni and they don't even acknowledge my mental struggle and insulting me here and there - still a failure. Never mind, it's not relevant to this story sorry.
That man is like 2 or 3 years younger than my mom. Has a son. A pilot. So, financially no problem me think. But comes another... lowkey red flag to me - my mom has no idea who he is. Apparently, a friend of my mom introduced my mom to him, and I don't know he likes my mom and want to marry her? ugh it's all third party kinda connection. And she refused to explain clearly. They only know each other through this one friend. No chat or call or meeting whatsoever, like the old time? yea like the old time. The thing is, this is not like old time. That man is literally stranger, only know him from a picture, only know his name, age, a little background and that's it. Same goes for the man. That's when me and other older sibling started to kinda question her decision here a lil bit. Does she genuinely want to start a new life or she just desperate of validation or like I don't know what's happening here I have no clue but wtf? and the audacity to even - sorry if it's sounds like I'm condemning, but she's bringing in these kids especially into a new life WITH A STRANGER come on. I don't have to explain much I think most people can tell what I think and feel dkjncijsdnvjc I'm lost.
It's important for me to emphasize that I don't want to stand in the way of her happiness. I fully support her decision to remarry if it brings her joy. But this? He also wants to meet us next week and you know, she also highlights this - that man doesn't want to take long time so kinda let's meet, discuss and marry asap. We thought like okay maybe after we all met him, can have some time for them to get to know each other but no. No time wasting, let's marry. Like...? And what year is this, she was like "there's something call love after marriage." If you're Muslim, probably familiar of this mindset(?). It's not wrong tho but today's world umm I'm not sure if it's applicable as much.
He also wants us all to move in his house. I have a younger sister. How many stepfathers rape stepdaughter news out there that she needs to realize that this is not some kind of a game. You might think I'm overreacting and all but not my fault. She doesn't even know him personally, his heart, his mind like lucky if he's genuinely a good guy but if he's not? Why are she putting our life on obvious uncertainties like this? Taking unnecessary risk like this just because you want to get marry, I just don't understand this part. She's taking things lightly. She needs to consider so many things and factors here. This is not a light thing, this is literally, a massive life changing event. I'm all justified to think of that.
Even my other older sibling doesn't really like how this going. When I ask her, does she want to accept the proposal. She said yes. I ask why? I mean even she doesn't know much about him, what makes her say yes. We want to know, we need to know, hence the discussion. She replies with everything and anything but a real answer, and she pissed.
This is where I turn to you, fellow Redditors. Have any of you been in a similar situation? Any advice or personal anecdotes would be greatly appreciated. I understand that every situation is unique, but hearing different perspectives might help me gain some clarity and reassurance. I want to navigate this situation with love and understanding, for my mother, myself and my younger siblings that still under her care.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my long ass story and share your experiences. Your insights mean a lot to me, and I'm grateful for all of you. I will update after we meet him, next week. Thank you again!

I’ve made posts here a while ago. There have been ups and downs, and the past 2 weeks I have been facing great emotional distress catching up to me. But anyway not why I’m here
Just need to share and vent: SS6 is…. Coddled by mom so has some emotional regulation problems.
Long story short, he did a dance move that he knew was inappropriate in front of SS9 and neighborhood friend (male 9). They were uncomfortable and told. SS6 is already running to his room bc he knows he is in trouble. I talk to him, whatever, then he asks for more lime aid that was spilled during this whole event and I say no- like you’re drink was spilled in the process of you making the wrong choice. That creates MORE of a meltdown. my partner and I then steer him into our sunroom and hand him our basket of sensory toys. We explain, he’s shutting down. Finally it’s like ok. You have 6 minutes or more of calm down time. He fights it to be 5. I say if the attitude continues, you will lose more of your allowance. He has attitude. The kid loses another $1.
6 min go by. I go in and say hey, I love you, we’re always here for you even in hard times- he won’t even look at me. Then I’m like ok well you can go do whatever, he helps put the toys away….
Earlier in the day I agreed to let him make a smoothie so then we do that and it’s like nothing happened… no tears, no calm down time, having a great time just making a messy smoothie.
Kids are emotional whiplash. Shout out to the step-parents out there who are educated, whole hearted, doing their best, and learning how to gentle parent someone else’s kids!!!!

The morning of October 17th 2019 was a cool and bright autumn day, two words rarely used to describe the treacherous Hanoi’s weather, when Lê Hải An arrived at his workplace, the Ministry of Education on 35 Đại Cồ Việt street, Hai Bà Trưng district, Hà Nội. Normally, he would have had a big breakfast at the office canteen then head off to his office at the second floor where he would spend the rest of his day trying to solve the numerous problems plaguing Vietnam’s education.
At 7:10 AM, someone spotted a figure falling from the 8th floor. There was a blood-curling smash; the figure was declared dead on impact. It wasn’t hard for people to identify the man.
In just a few hours, public media across Vietnam would declare that Vice Minister Lê Hải An had died. The reason?
He slipped and fell off the balcony.
The story I am about to tell you is not just a simple fall.
The story I am about to tell you sounds like something out of a conspiracy theory, the one spewed by tinfoil hat wearers on the street, the one peddled by shock websites and fringe extremist forums, the kind that would make you think it was a rejected Hollywood script and not real life. And I must admit, I have to work with secondary foreign sources with many being biased and some outright spewing baseless conspiracy theories. Many original sources had been removed or edited, forever lost into a memory hole resembling that of 1984. In trying to be faithful, I've removed a lot more "fantastical" elements that have no proof to be cross-checked; I will do my best to paint a complete picture of not only who Lê Hải An was, but the treacherous world around him, a nightmarish jungle of political infighting.
To those who don’t believe, I ask you to just give me the benefit of the doubt and remember this one thing:
“This is Vietnam.”
PART 1: The model teacher
In Vietnam, we have this saying: “Tôn sư trọng đạo” meaning “To worship your teachers and to respect your study.” A teacher was not simply a teacher; he/she was the paragon of society, the enlightener, the one who upheld all the virtues of society, who embodied such virtues, and who passed on such virtue to younger generations.
Lê Hải An was one such man.
Born in April 1st 1971 in Hà Nội, An was the son of Lê Hải Châu, a famous educator whose mathematics book was once the golden standard of Vietnamese mathematics education. In fact, if you were in Vietnamese highschool in the 90s to early 2000s, you would have used one of his books. For his contribution, Châu was awarded the title “The People’s Teacher,” a once highly prestigious prize reserved for the most devoted teacher. Given his family’s background, An was said to be set for life.
But An did not take the easy way. He challenged himself continuously, was handpicked as a government-sponsored student to study Mining and Geology at Moscow State University of Geodesy and Cartography. Even late in his career, he still pursued his passion for the mining industry, successfully defending a thesis on the application of neural networks in the oil industry at the Heriot-Watt University.
Given his background and training, Lê Hải An was made a professor at the Hanoi University of Mining and Geology. At first he was a teacher at the Petroleum department, but rose steadily through the rank. To his students, he was a knowledgeable yet compassionate teacher who never sought to exert his authority; to his colleagues, he was a man of honor, of dignity, representing the paragon of teachers thought to have been lost. Nobody complained when he was made the University’s principal; nobody complained when Prime Minister Nguyễn Xuân Phúc appointed An to be the Vice Minister of the much troubled Ministry of Education.
Well, maybe not nobody.
PART 2: You have to go to Hà Giang and take the national exam
For every Vietnamese students, nothing struck the fear of God in them worse than the word "National Exam." Not as competitive as the Chinese Gaokao or the Korean Suneung, it is the stuff of nightmare that have made and broken life. Students competed for the sweet sweet spot at the Police Academy and Military Academy (It is in fact more difficult to become a cop or an army officer in Vietnam than to become a doctoteacheengineeIT technician); parents wait anxiously for their children's performance to show off to friends and families; educators wait for the top scores to make their annual achievement look good so they can attract better students to their high school.
Exam season rolled around, and the results were released by July 11th 2018. As soon as the scores came out, all of Vietnam was shocked.
Of all the 64 cities and provinces, Hà Giang scored the highest in the national exam, with the highest number of “Thủ Khoa” or “The top scorer.” This, to many, was a surprise: not only Hà Giang was the poorest province in all of Vietnam, it traditionally had high illiteracy rate, high dropout rate, low graduation rate, low university admission rate, and so on and so forth. The fact that during the same year Hà Giang had the highest rate of failure to graduate from high school also raised eyebrows.
And Hà Giang was not the only province. Sơn La and Hòa Bình, two other terrible performers, also scored suspiciously well, outmatching province such as Thanh Hóa-Nghệ An-Hà Tĩnh who have been known as "Đất Học" or "The land of the studious."
Immediately, people began to cry foul. There was a lot of anger: a lot of students who had worked their whole lives were in danger of losing their spots to some “irregularities.” A common saying began to emerge: “Em phải đến Hà Giang thi đại học” or “You have to go to Hà Giang and take the national exam.” Investigations were launched into the Ministry of Education just one day after the score was released.
Quick investigation revealed that this was not just some "irregularities" but a systematic scheme, raising scores for test-takers: some exam takers received a nine points out of a total of ten points boost for individual exam, and some had their total points raised by thirty points out of a total of forty. Not only that, the exam-takers who benefitted from this were some of the most powerful people in Vietnam. Take the case of Hà Giang: one of the person whose scores were raised was Triệu Ngọc Mai, daughter's of Triệu Tài Vinh, General Secretary of Hà Giang. The Triệu clan ruled Hà Giang as a fiefdom of their own, holding most important positions; they had strong ties with the Minister of Education Phùng Xuân Nhạ, a widely-hated and despised figures for his bare-faced corruption and mismanagement, and the President of Vietnam Trần Đại Quang. People were expecting the investigation would go to nowhere - afterall, who dared to incur the wrath of the President of Vietnam?
Then, out of nowhere, Trần Đại Quang died.
On September 21st 2018, the fit and healthy Trần Đại Quang suddenly passed away from “a rare and unknown virus which he contracted during his trips.”
No more explanation was given. One month later, on November 3rd 2018, Lê Hải An received Decision 1475/QĐ-TTg from Prime Minister Nguyễn Xuân Phúc himself, making him the Vice Minister of Education and in charge of the National Examination scandal
PART 3: His final moment
For the next year, An worked with diligence, doing his best to hold the perpetrators accountable. By the numerous newspaper articles, it was clear he was the one leading the charge while his superior, Nhạ, kept a low profile and only appeared on the media every now and then to make some empty speech. He worked hard, showing up at his office early and having breakfast in the office’s canteen to save time, then immediately dived into work in his office on the second floor. His work yielded results: 16 bureaucrats were arrested, 222 exam takers were exposed, large sums of bribes were confiscated. To many, perhaps An included, it wasn’t enough. Everyone knew the big fish Nhạ was still out there, and everyone was itching to see him fall.
It was on the morning of October 17th 2019 when Lê Hải An arrived at his workplace, the Ministry of Education on 35 Đại Cồ Việt street, Hai Bà Trưng district, Hà Nội. We had little idea of what had happened on that day, but what we knew painted a very strange picture.
Normally, An would go straight to his office on the second floor, rarely having any reasons to go anywhere else. And, given the early hour, most other offices would be empty.
Yet, on that day, An seemed to have gone to the eighth floor. There was no record of what he was doing there or who he was meeting; the floor also had no camera. Photographs of the crime scene showed a table which supposedly An had sat - this table had an almost empty glass of cold tea, a cigarette pack, and an ashtray with ash in it. Another table was photographed with an old red gym bag and a nylon bag containing non-descript items; next to this table was a chair with another plastic bag containing non-descript items on it. All the tables were seated next to a balcony which was about 80 centimeters tall. An was described to be 180 centimeters tall, and when his body was discovered it was lying parallel to the building from which he fell from next to a tree but seemingly did not hit it.
Given all the evidence, by 8:30 AM it was concluded that An slipped and fell. No more investigation was made
PART 4: The truth won’t set you free
Of course, the conclusion did not satisfy anybody.
On one hand, there is very low trust for the Vietnamese police who have shown their ineptitude and willingness to fake evidence time and time again. With miscarriage of justice cases such as Hồ Duy Hải and Huỳnh Văn Nén fresh in every one’s mind, the police’s conclusion lost even more credits. The fact that the police quickly concluded An slipped and fell only at most two hours after they were notified of the accident and refused to investigate any further reek of a cover-up.
But, even with the benefit of doubt for the police, the idea of An slipping and falling was deemed unthinkable to many. For one thing, people did not understand why An went to the eighth floor when his office was on the second floor. If he was there on business, what business could it be at such an early hour (government offices in Vietnam often begin work at 8:00 AM if not 9:00 AM.) If he was there to meet someone, who was that someone and why was he not investigated? No investigation was made into his phone or email either.
Then there was the balcony.
The balcony was described by some to be eighty centimeter tall, which would make slipping a feasible case for someone 1.8 meter tall like An. However, images from the crime scene show a police man standing next to the balcony and the balcony reaching his chest. Given that the minimum height to be accepted to the police academy is 1.64 meters, we are looking at a 1.2 meter tall balcony at the very least. It will be very hard to slip and fall over, unless someone was leaning over it. But why would anybody do such a thing? Some suggested he was drunk and tired and this could have been the case, but with no toxicology report done on him there was no way to make sure.
Some commentators also pointed out that even if An leaned out and fell, his body would have landed in a perpendicular angle with the building block he was falling out from. Yet, in the crime scene image, he was shown lying parallel to the building, as if he had rolled over on his side. There were no obstacles on the way down so his falling body could not have hit anything. The only thing in his way was a tree, but the branches were very frail and images did not show any conclusive evidence that he hit the tree on his way down.
So, if he did not slip and fall, what else could have happened?
Suicide was also suggested and has remained a strong contender. It must be remembered that An was an important man being surrounded by enemies. He had a very heavy burden to shoulder and had to endure political shenanigans from all sides. Perhaps, the pressure had broken the hitherto earnest teacher who had not had a taste for the wild political arena. So, he decided to go to the eighth floor, climbed over it (which could have required him to drape over the balcony, explaining why his body was found parallel to the building) then let himself fall.
Of course, some don’t agree with the idea. They pointed out he was a very happy, very respected man with a long and promising career, a loving family, and a dedication towards a higher calling. Men like him, they said, rarely killed themselves. While this could be true, this “proof” is very weak as many successful men have committed suicide. Perhaps, he was only showing himself to be happy; perhaps there was something else going on with his life that we would never know.
Finally, and perhaps the most pervasive, is the idea An was killed. Of course, given that this theory was born out of circumstantial evidence not any real evidence, this belongs more to the conspiracy theory bin. The temptation was there: An was leading the crusade against some very powerful individual, many of whom had both the power and desire to get rid of someone like An. If the former President himself could die so mysteriously while in office, who was to say An was safe? The police’s quick conclusion and refusal to investigate any further as well as the image of a supposedly official letter from his wife begging for police protection (now scrubbed off the internet) only added more flame to the fire.
So, assuming An was killed, who had killed him?
The obvious answer to many would be Nhạ: he was An’s boss, he was investigated by An, he could’ve lost his power and friends and influence. He wanted An dead, had the means to do so, and was therefore the prime suspect. The many clans whose children’s road to power An had dashed such as the Triệu clan also had axes to grind with An.
However, there was another suspect.
Prime Minister Nguyễn Xuân Phúc, the man who had appointed An to the position himself.
Before this all happened, Phúc was rumored to be in a power struggle with President Trần Đại Quang and the Ministry of Public Security. After Quang’s death in 2018, Phúc was trying to court Quang’s Department of Public Security to his side. The new head of this Department was Tô Lâm (The man who was videoed eating at Salt Bae’s place in London while Vietnam was under lockdown and starving.) Perhaps, as a gesture of peace, Phúc sold out his subordinate as an “apology.”
Ultimately, given that these theories are born out of the lack of evidence and the coincidence, we cannot accept them as “reasonable.”
PART 5: Farewell
On the 21st of October 2019, Lê Hải An’s funeral was held. It was a simple affair and yet it attracted thousands of mourners, ranging from the Vietnamese elites to his students. To many, the loss of An was a great loss to this world. Even without his work to clean up the Ministry of Education, he was an honest, hard-working, humble man who had always tried his best to live up to the image of the model teacher that had become so rare in modern Vietnam. The fact that such a good man had to die so early only rubbed more salt into the open wound.
But time will fly. Life will move on, heals will wound, stories will be forgotten, people will forget. Lê Hải An will one day fade into obscurity, and with him the question:
“What happened to Lê Hải An on October 17th 2019?”
Source
[1] https://canhco.net/lo-hinh-anh-hien-truong-tang-8-va-loi-khai-nhan-chung-khi-ong-le-hai-an-nga-xuong-tu-vong-p329165.html
[2] https://tuoitre.vn/thu-truong-bo-giao-duc-dao-tao-le-hai-an-qua-doi-vi-nga-tu-tang-cao-20191017084152884.htm
[3] https://kienthuc.net.vn/xa-hoi/su-that-ve-thu-truong-bo-gddt-le-hai-an-nga-lau-qua-doi-o-tru-so-bo-1291388.html
[4] https://nld.com.vn/thoi-su/dieu-tra-nguyen-nhan-tu-vong-cua-thu-truong-bo-gd-dt-le-hai-an-20191017102746586.htm
Shameless self-promotion
In the next episode of "The Mysteries of Vietnam," we will return to a re-write and updated version of the first case I wrote about years ago: did Hồ Duy Hải murder two innocent postal workers at Cầu Voi post office, or was it the work of a serial killer on the loose? And why is the Vietnamese government intervening in the case?

Yesterday I read an article posted here by E. J. Furlong, "Can we Prove That There is an External World?" which gives an account of Moore's proof in a lecture he gave of an external world, and today I read an article from Moore himself, "Proof of an External World", which goes into much less detail. I'm not sure if there's an original transcript of Moore's proof, so please let me know if Furlong is attributing things to Moore that Moore himself didn't actually say.
In the first article by Furlong, he claims:

In order to clarify these conceptions [between "external things", "things external to us," and "things external to our minds"] he [Moore] refers us to another passage in the Critique where Kant has distinguished between objects "external in the transcendental sense" and "empirically external" objects; the latter Kant says he will call outright "things which are to be met with in space." He also speaks of them as objects "presented in space." It is, therefore, not unreasonable to suppose that Kant treated the three phrases [noted above]... as equivalent.

Moore, according to Furlong, then goes on to try and prove that the statements "to be met with in space" and "presented in space" are not equivalent, as Kant says:

Professor Moore easily finds examples of things of which it might reasonably be said that they are "presented in space," but of which it could hardly be said that they are "to be met with in space." For example, after-images, double-images, most pains, are "presented in space" but are not "to be met with in space." The paper at which you are now looking is, however, according to Professor Moore, naturally said to be both "presented in space" and "to be met with in space".

Furlong then explains that Moore says the difference is that something "to be met with in space", if in a room, would be encountered by anyone in that room. However, something "presented in space" may only be encountered by some particular individual, like pain or what not. Unless I'm misunderstanding either Kant or Moore, this doesn't seem inline with what Kant is saying at all. Something being "in space", whether presented or met, simply means that you're experiencing it sensibly at all. The pains you feel are still met with in the confines of the intuition of space. I understand that Moore is trying to argue against Kant's use of the phrases as equivalent, but it seems like he's completely missing the point of what Kant is saying. Nothing can be met with outside of space, because it's a necessary condition for our experience - and so, everything that is met with in space is the external world, even if that thing is a hallucination or only perceivable by some one individual. If Moore wanted to argue against the equivalency of the two phrases, he would have to argue against Kant's conception of space as an intuition necessary for experience, not the use of "present" vs. "met".
Am I misunderstanding this, or possibly even Moore's intent with referencing Kant?

I (42F) have a son (7) and a daughter (12) She is turning 13 soon. She has an acquired brain injury and functions at around 4-5 years old. This is static. She is in specialist education and will never live independently. She also has very severe ADHD and requires constant supervision. She is a very happy and loving child but she is hugely impulsive and obviously is now adult size (5’4 so far) and can get carried away around other kids. For example, she would think nothing of climbing out of a second floor window or turning all taps on etc. She understandably prefers to play with much younger kids but this has to be supervised.
She is very close to her brother, who just turned 7 and they play well together- he adores her. He has now overtaken her in terms of ability and understanding. But they have a typical sibling relationship and get on well.
My son is now at the age where he wants to play with the children next door in the front garden or in the street outside our house and their house. I let him do this as he is sensible and does not leave the area in front of the house.
I cannot let me daughter play in our front garden or on the street- she simply would not be safe. This was not an issue until we have allowed her brother to do this. She has access to the back garden which is more secure and I can see it from the house but the front is more open and harder to fully supervise.
I have explained to her that it is because they are 7 and she is almost 13 and her brother needs friends his age. She doesn’t really understand this but she knows she is older so that bit makes sense to her.
I don’t think it is right to restrict my son from natural progression but I am unsure how to manage this from my daughter’s perspective. Does anyone have any experience? It is obviously going to get more complicated as the younger two eventually get more freedom and she does not.
She has lots of opportunities and activities, she is fully included in all aspects of family life and goes to a great school which meets her needs but how do I navigate her not understanding why her younger brother is allowed more freedom? I don’t think she will understand about having a brain injury and what this means for her.

My fucking manager asked me to go to the back then explained how he had to let me go. I was trying to ask why but he suddenly interrupted me by pulling his goddamn pants down and letting out the most fucking nasty ass diathermia explosion I had ever seen.
Needless to say, I fucking quit.

Hello,
I come seeking advice because I am completely lost on what I can do!
I purchased two sump pumps from home depot's website:
https://www.homedepot.com/p/DEWALT-1-3-hp-Stainless-Steel-Cast-Iron-Submersible-Sump-Pump-DXWP62383/320869066 and also the 1/2hp model. So 1/3 and 1/2hp models.
I had them shipped to home because the nearest home depot is 30 minutes from me. It was free anyway.
I received a FedEx package that is 19x17x13", claiming to be 47lbs.
I opened the package and I received one 1/2hp sump pump, package dimensions 15x12x11", weighing exactly 33lbs. So here's the first part, I have no idea where they got the 47lbs from. If you look at the two pumps right on that page, you'll see they claim to be 24 and 27lb... which equals 51lb, and that is without the packaging. As I said, the 1/2hp one I received actually weighs 33lbs (I weighed it myself).
So we have UNDISPUTABLE evidence here that I did not receive both sump pumps:
1) Without the packaging, just the products themselves weigh more than the FedEx package claimed to weigh.
2) There is no way you can fit two 15x12x11" boxes inside a 19x17x13" box. The 1/3hp one I did not receive is nearly the same size as the one I did receive, it's not monumentally smaller where it could have fit.
​
So I called home depot pro support, as I am a member. I explained the above and the associate said "We have that the sump pumps only weight 21 and 26lbs, so the 47lbs would make sense. We can only go off of weight reported by FedEx." I re-explained it is mathematically impossible for the two pumps to have fit in the box, to which she responded "It looks to me like they'd fit fine, you'll have to take it up with your bank." Mind you, my 'bank' in this case is Home Depot credit card, which I opened for this project. I offered to send pictures of the sump pump box inside the shipping box, but they don't care because their weight (wherever they got it from) matches FedEx's.
​
Other than switching to Lowes for everything from now on (same military discount, seems like larger selection), does anybody have any advice on how I can recover my money? I'm so fed up with HD, this was a multi-thousand dollar order and they have messed it up more than I ever thought possible. I took two days off of work to get the project done and it was wasted. One of the days I spent actually in the store, as they tried to find my two pickup orders, which we found out were "cannabalized" by other employees for other people's orders, so they had to re-pick them while I stood there. First-world problems, I know, but I'm not about to roll over and say "well at least I have a roof over my head." I can't let them get away with this!
Thank you in advance, I know it was lengthy. My only thought from here is to take another day off work to drive back to home depot and talk face to face with a manager. I've never asked to 'speak with a manager' but I don't know what else to do! Thanks again.

So, I want to begin by stating that I have a horrible time letting go. My ex and I had officially broke up back in March. We were dating for just a little under a year. With the breakup, we agreed that we should stay friends. Because we don't really have any other friends besides eachother. That went well at first. Just normally talking. But after a few weeks, we both asked each other if we could try again. We agreed and did so. Then we started arguing again. So we agreed to slow it down and be friends again.
After about two months, I contacted her again to try and see if we could hang out. She had mentioned it a little while before anyways. Just to catch up. We planned to try and meet out at the Renaissance fair that was going on here last weekend. Another note I'd like to make is that I was with family as well. My mother is protective of me.
So we walk into the fairground. And after a little while, I spot her. She has a friend with her, which doesn't bother me at all. But they both start turning around and began to sneer at us. Of course, my mother didn't take this lightly at all. So she went to confront them. Respectfully told them to knock off their sneering and to go on with their day.
My ex and her friend then come up to us and begin bombarding me with questions. Asking what is going on. I'm frozen from embarrassment and can't fucking answer. There was all too much going on around me and I just couldn't handle it.
After a few hours of quietly following my group, ashamed of myself. We finally leave. As I get in the car, I look at my phone to see a message from her. Stating that I'm a piece of shit for not talking to her about what was going on. And that she doesn't want to talk to me ever again. I know that I fucked up. All because I couldn't speak up. And I am contemplating whether or not to just shoot her a message trying to explain myself and apologize. I know she won't care or probably won't even see it. But I just need that sense of closure and to get that off my chest. Because I feel sick to my stomach, I'm having trouble sleeping, and I just want it to end is all.

TLDR: flying there was a piece of cake, flying out of Poland was a nightmare, Gdańsk airport is awful with AP, Copenhagen is beyond amazing, O’Hare airport is a complete cluster $&@$, but the “cuartito” is 60 seconds with absolutely no questions which was awesome.
I wanted to share what it was like traveling with advanced parole to Europe. There’s a ton of information on this sub about advanced parole, but I didn’t really see too much around Europe so I wanted to share just in case anyone is in the same situation as I am.
Little background: my mom brought me to the states from Poland, Europe when I was 6 and I didn’t even know I was undocumented until I was 16 and tried to get a license.
My grandmother is 87 and has been spending more and more time in the hospital. She called us saying that she doesn’t think that she has very much time left so I looked into getting emergency advanced parole. I live in dallas Texas so there is a uscis office very close to me.
I called infopass on Monday to get an emergency appointment. They told me they would call within 48 hours to schedule my appointment. They called me an hour later and scheduled my appointment for Wednesday. I arrived with the application and all my paperwork birth certificates etc and after 3 hours I got approved for a month. I bought my ticket to Poland for Monday for a week.
I was flying Dallas - Chicago - Copenhagen - Gdańsk Poland
Since I have a European passport it was really the easiest thing in the world getting to Poland. I got to the dfw airport and checked in with my passport. Got my boarding pass and bags checked. In Chicago I used my same boarding pass and not a single question was asked. When I got to Copenhagen for my layover I went through the EU line and just showed my passport and was good to go. I got to see Copenhagen during my 10 hour layover and it was the most amazing experience of my life. Europe is so so beautiful. Flying to Poland was just as easy.
Finally I was back home for the first time in 20 years. I got to see my grandmother, and met my aunt for the first time ever. It was such an amazing experience and I’m so thankful that I got the chance to do it.
Now here is where things went south
Gdańsk airport is relatively small and I guess there’s not too much knowledge about advanced parole there. My flight back was Gdańsk- Copenhagen - Chicago - Dallas
I arrived at 4 am for my 7am flight. One whole hour was waiting in line to check my bag and get my boarding pass. Once it was finally my turn the agent kept asking for my ESTA which is like a visa to go to the states. I was explaining that I don’t qualify for that and am traveling with my AP. I gave her the paper (that said transportation) and after going over it with 3 different people she understood what it was. However their computer system wouldn’t accept it. I started getting really scared because I was there for almost an hour and my flight was leaving soon. They told me that I would not be able to fly back to the United States but that I could still go to Copenhagen. I said no problem and she printed my ticket and I was the last one on the plane with a couple minutes to spare
As soon as I landed in Copenhagen the first thing I did was go to my airlines help desk and explained to them my situation. They said “oh you have advanced parole” got some verification over the phone and printed my boarding pass stamped “checked USA” and I was good to go. I was so relieved.
I boarded my flight to Chicago and arrived 9 hours later. I had a 4 hour layover which I thought would be enough. Absolutely wrong. We arrived an hour late because of a maintenance issue which I thought would be okay. It took 30 more minutes to get off the plane. I had 2 and a half hours to get through immigration and onto my flight for Dallas. Well that didn’t happen. The line for non us citizens was about two and a half hours. When it was my turn I showed them my AP and they let me know that I would have to go to secondary inspection. I got escorted to the room and sat down. There were maybe 20-30 people there. Maybe 60 seconds later they called my name so I stood up, they handed me my passport and documents and said welcome back. That was it. Literally 60 seconds and not a single question or anything.
I missed my flight to Dallas but they rebooked me and I was home the next day
Overall I would definitely do it again. However, if possible try sticking with only big major airports and if you’re able to avoid layovers do it. If you have to have a layover try making it as long as possible because sometimes even 4 hours isn’t enough.

PART 15 <==H==> FIRST
----------
Will was excited, the past few weeks seemed to herald a new change in Ilicia’s and Agrana's relationship. He had been surprised when came back that first day to find Agrana eating and chatting idly with Ilicia. He was more surprised when Ilicia told him what had happened and when Agrana came to him to assure him of the end of her attempts on Ilicia's life. Will had nearly exploded trying to contain his shock.
It was now commonplace to see Ilicia and Agrana chatting when Will was not around. Will suspected his grandmother did something to facilitate this, but she assured him she had done nothing other than explain her relationship with Karva. Will was suspicious by nature, and as the Princess's Man, he was obligated to be suspicious of all things having to do with the princess. And an Ogdeshi taking a sudden interest in the princess and serving her was suspicious.
Will knew Agrana was a woman of her word. But he also knew her as a master manipulator, and he had confidence in the fact that Agrana would see little wrong with killing a large number of humans to get what she wanted. The thought of Ilicia coming to harm sent blood rushing through him in a way that threatened to bring on the natural occurrence of the Orcish blood rage.
Will was excited. All of this rushed through his head as he walked with Ilicia. He knew he was worried, and he hoped today would provide some reassurance for his ever-active imagination. Today was the day after he completed his training and he was to spend the entire day with Ilicia. She walked next to him, her arm through his, as he led them both through the twists and turns of a forest path that ended in a strange building seeming to grow out of the wood of a gargantuan tree.
The door opened automatically as they approached to reveal a wood elf-man in clothing that seemed to emanate a sense of regal energy. The elf smiled at them and bowed. "Master Will, Princess Ilicia, welcome and please do come in."
Ilicia smiled back at the man. "Thank you sir."
"How is the family Jullian?" Will asked as he stepped through the door, making it feel three inches too small in all directions.
"My wife is well, she is in the kitchen cooking as usual. I will be serving you today as my children are not here at the moment." Jullian said with a quick bow. He led them through the building which Ilicia realized was far larger than it appeared from the outside. They passed several other couples and groups that were seated at different tables as Jullian led them up a sweeping flight of stairs and out onto a balcony that appeared to be several hundred feet in the air and protruding from the tree.
"Will, what is going on with this building?" Ilicia asked, getting a twisting feeling in her stomach as she looked over the railing.
"That would be my wife's fault, she does as she will." Jullian said to Ilicia with an apologetic smile. He bowed once more, and then turned and walked away.
"What is this place Will?" Ilicia asked looking around and noting more and more things that simply felt off. She opened her mouth to speak again as a silver platter with goblets of water floated over and unloaded its cargo before simply vanishing into thin air.
Will laughed at her shock. "Jullian is a wood elf."
"Even I noticed that." Ilicia said wondering where Will was going with this.
"His wife is a goddess." Will said with a smile at how quickly Ilicia's jaw dropped. "We are not sure what she is a goddess of, but she has a penchant for cooking and brewing and she loves Jullian with her whole heart. She fell in love with him when he found her wounded in the woods and stayed by her side, talking of his home in the woods of his youth, he cooked for her and cared for her for three weeks before she could rise on her own."
"Wow." Ilicia said, "Do you know how she was injured?"
"No,and I am not sure anyone knows except Trina. That is the name she has chosen to go by. She also tells people that she is simply Jullian's goddess when asked what she is a goddess of. She is a rather interesting character, if she ever comes to say hello I am willing to bet you will like her."
Ilicia smiled at Will and Jullian reappeared. "So what would you like to eat?"
Will smiled and rattled off a list of food which all sounded strange. Ilicia looked around to see where he had made his selection, but Jullian simply smiled at her and told her to ask for anything she desired. Ilicia realized what was going on and ordered her favorite food from home. Jullian smiled, bowed, and vanished through the doors once more.
"Anything we want huh?" Ilicia asked with a mischievous grin on her face.
"She is a goddess. But I will warn you Ilicia, last time I started trying to challenge her in her ability to cook anything, well let's just say she is willing to humor most things. If she feels you crossed a line, she will let you know by making your food so spicy you taste it for weeks, and that's only after the second or third bite." Will said, his tone indicating he was speaking from experience.
"What did you ask her for?" Ilicia asked.
"My dad told me he used to eat at a place called 'micky dees' so I ordered one of everything from their menu, thinking I would have her stumped with food from another world." Will said and then looked up. "She made it all and delivered it to me, told me to enjoy, and told me if I ever asked her to make such ludicrous and disgusting food again, I would find myself unable to eat solid food for a year."
Ilicia laughed and smiled at Will as Jullian brought out a small cart loaded with plates of food he began to lay on the table.
They ate their food and talked about various things. When they were finished eating Jullina brought them dessert. Will turned to Ilicia and broached the topic of Agrana.
"Ilicia," Will said in a serious mood now, "why did you take Agrana as a member of your staff?"
Ilicia was caught a little off guard. "What do you mean? Why would I not take her onto my staff? Her skills are self-evident."
"Oh, I know. I remember well who first taught me other than my father." Will said this with no anger, simply curiosity. "But I would still ask why you did this. Is the protection I provide lacking? Do you anticipate me leaving you anytime soon? I simply want to know what your reasoning was in making this decision."
Ilicia thought for a moment and then spoke. "I had several reasons, mostly I wanted her to not want to kill me. But since then I have come to some conclusions as to why having her around will be better than not."
Will nodded and Ilicia leaned forward taking his massive hand into both of hers. "I do not think your protection is lacking in any way. I am fairly certain that should I ever be kidnapped, you will tear apart the continent one rock at a time, laughing the whole way."
Will shrugged. The noncommittal way he agreed with herreminded her just how powerful Will really was. Ilicia continued. "The short answer is, you can never have enough bodyguards. The long answer is, I think that while you are the Princess's Man, you will begin to fulfill a far more important role in political functions once we return to the kingdom." She finished her thought in her head, "Hopefully that position is as my fiance or husband, and you can leave all the bodyguard work to Agrana."
Will thought about this for a moment, his eyes never leaving hers. Ilicia knew he was probably mulling over important thoughts, but a part of her wanted him to just look at her like that as he took her on the table. Ilicia shook her head and spoke once more. "So in addition to helping with my safety in that regard, if you leave to deal with the man who killed your father, I will still have a guardian."
Will nodded at this and seemed to relax. "Very well, but I want you to know if she ever makes a move against you again, I will kill on the spot."
Ilicia nodded, knowing from his tone that this was not a discussion but rather a statement of fact. That mischievous voice in her head also wanted him to command her in that tone. Ilicia blushed at the thoughts she was having and looked away from Will.
Will smiled at her when she finally got her blushing cheeks to cool. "So, we have eaten and now we have a whole day to ourselves. What would you like to do, Ilicia?"
"Well, I would like to visit your grandmother's library if she will let us." Ilicia said, remembering the room of books she saw Yilan in earlier.
"Of course." Will said with a smile.
Jullian appeared. "Is there anything else you would like?"
"No, Jullian it was fantastic as always." Will said with a smile.
"Thank you." Jullian said and turned to Ilicia. "If you have a moment my wife has requested a moment of your time."
"Of course Jullian." Ilicia said, turning to Will.
"I will wait for you outside." Will headrf down stairs on his own.
Ilicia followed Jullian through the building which only further exemplified how incredibly large the building was compared to its looks on the outside. When he finally led her into a kitchen that could have fed the entire castle she grew up in, Jullina bowed to her, smiled at the glowing woman standing behind a counter, and then turned to grab a tray of food and leave.
"Come Princess," the woman gestured to a stool set next to her. "Have a seat and talk with me for a moment."
"Of course." Ilicia said, falling back on court manners in this rather strange incident.
"Firstly, call me Trina," the goddess said, "and secondly, what do I have to do to make you forget your love of Will?"
Ilicia's jaw almost hit the counter. "What do you mean? Why would I ever do such a thing?"
Ilicia was angry, a deep anger that burned deep in her gut. Trina stopped what she was doing, knife paused mid-cut. "I care for Will, his father and mother both were dear friends of mine and always treated me no differently than anyone else. As a divinity, I have some small gift of foresight, and you need not be in love with Will. More importantly, he needs to not love you."
"I see why you wanted to talk to me only." Ilicia said indignantly. "Will would kill you."
"I spared with the boy once, and he very well might be one of the very few mortals who could kill a god, but that is beyond the point." Trina said with a calm voice of understanding. "I need to know what I would have to do, to what I would have to give you, to get you to remove Will from your life."
Ilicia panicked. She hated this woman. She looked into Trina's eyes. "You will have to kill me. I love him, there is nothing you could give me that could replace Will."
The goddess stared hard at Ilicia who did not back down. Trina chuckled. "Those Garrow men sure do pick firecrackers. You know there was a time where Will's father took one of my daughters on a date? She came home and said she would bless whoever he married because he was a handful. Then he went and married Yilan's daughter and they gave birth to a man who is by rights almost a god in terms of his ability and power."
Ilicia's head was spinning as she tried to follow Trina's words with her ears, and with her eyes the flurry of time-defiant movements her hands made. Trina paused again and looked Ilicia in the eyes. "You are a brave woman, and you will need to be. A time will come when the love you hold is used against Will, I hope you are strong enough to face the repercussions. Will is getting anxious, and I can not warp time any more than I already have without causing you harm. Take this and go to him, cherish him while you can princess."
Trina handed Ilicia a sweet roll and then hesitated before placing her hand on Ilicia's head and bowing hers for a moment. Ilicia felt a wave of energy wash over her. "Go forth with my blessing child."
Ilicia stood and left the kitchen to find Jullian waiting to take her outside. The sun was setting, where it had been morning just an hour or two ago. She looked back to the building and then to Will. She shrugged and slipped her arm through his. As she shared the sweet roll with him, Trina's words echoed through her mind.
One phrase in particular rattled her to her bones as Will guided her back to Yilan's library. "...I hope you are strong enough to face the repercussions."
----------
PART 15 <==H==> FIRST
FROM THE AUTHOR: Here it is, the next installment of The Princess's Man! I hope you all enjoy this and have a fantastic day!
​ If you want to support me:
https://www.patreon.com/Akmedrah
https://ko-fi.com/akmedrah
If you want to read my other stories:
HFY Author Page
https://akmedrah.com/
If you want more information about the world and my other writing, check out my World Anvil page!

* for context - local EU state job offering
I think I had the weirdest interview in a while, a headhunter contacted me via linkedin chat to discuss the position he has for me after reading my profile and offered 1 hour teams meeting slot..asked what is the position and JD, he replied its about network security position dealing with firewalls, proxy and other security solutions, standard JD also with mentions of some basic windows and linux knowledge (have zero as I never dealt with that endpoint part of the network, hell not even switches), I asked couple questions as fulltime/contract, remote/onsite, offered pay, name of the company etc..as none of these were stated. he replied with another set of questions about my certifications and repeated my last questions to me in a manner which looked like low-effort ai automated answer. Had weird vibes at that point and didn't feel like this passive-aggressive style deserves a reply, but after a while I decided Im gonna go with the slot cause I was sacked recently and Im looking for a job, also worst case just "for science" and curiosity of what would come out of this fully expecting something not worth my time. Despite the tone set, I was professional whole time in the chat conversation just to train my emotional intelligence and wanted to experience rest of it for the same reason.
So we met online next day and he was professional, welcoming and generally nice, hes from agency focusing on specific hires for their exclusive client, told me I will not find what he is offering online as client wants narrow selection, told me that here he hopes we can exchange our questions. I generally don't like asymmetry in the conversation about job offers but still managed to keep being professional and see where it will go, letting him have his "manipulation" moment. He was trying to explain to me the reason why he was keeping the whole thing shrouded, We talked a bit about my experience (he still didn't see my cv, nor asked for it wtf, went just by scuffed version from my linkedin profile..) I could tell he studied me and my responses closely, when I again asked about the company name he told me that knowing it doesn't carry any weight atm, that I would either be like never heard of it or fall on my ass cause it is super quality, that this company level is up there even fixing what other companies did lackluster. He wanted to hear what I want from my job in the future and explained to me that it is network security solutioning from a to z with accent on close business collaboration onsite with clients.
I was 50/50 at that point cause I appreciate wfh and remote as 4 last years I got beaten to it until stopped complaining. But I am thinking that maybe going out there might be key impact on my stalling mental health state, but fucking hell am I afraid of being the last person in tech problem without any more senior people above me, with years of delegated boring half projects without full context in terms of solution (you know, living isolated on my firewall corporate island and not being able to see beyond).. He liked me very much, also explained why and on which nuances in particular conversation moments, and that he could see me succeed in interview as being good part of team, but I have no formal certs, only 7 year quite ok checkpoint knowledge and now I decided to do NSE4 just by some basic study and dumps but no heavy production complex experience..just to have more interview exposure (market is shit last months..i see ton of cloud and cybersec but nothing from my domain). Anyway he told me that I need to wow the interviewee with my knowledge and drive since no certs.
..that ofc could go 2 ways as you never know what they ask. I didn't do checkpoint products in all its broadness, but in some moments got into quite depths and knowledge nuggets, but mostly I don't feel super confident that I am full blown expert. All I know is that any task I had I managed to methodically figure out with enough time without pressure and thats what I am used to.
The name of the company is NTT and I did not hear about it lol, but I am impressed with some of financial info and employee numbers. He told me that any of my concerns about team atmosphere or latest technology and benefits are pointless - all should be beyond my expectations, but they require good talent.
He told me that I should take some time to figure out if this opportunity is what I want in terms of my future direction - so no wfh mostly and business oriented mind in providing security solutions to client while being the guy who others ask how to do things while I am owning the solution. - I have respect of such and even fear, so not sure if this is something to expose myself to as my mental health suffered some big blows from various losses in personal and professional life past 2 years in case it will be overwhelming beyond me managing the stress and reality of it.
Lastly he gave me "homework" to start rewriting my resume in a way where how I can transition my knowledge into business oriented way to serve customer needs..still not sure what that means fully..(he even disregarded me sending him my current cv version when I realized he never asked for it and when I offered to send it..that definitely never happened to me in any job offering)
any thoughts?

I met this beautiful woman when I was 16 and she was 24 we met at a job we both this was back in 2015 when we met used to work we got along very well due to we had to work together. The job was a lot of people all ages from 16 to whatever so incase anyone ask here where I live 16yr is the age you can work. So we together every day I started to get to know her a bit more and same her with me I was attracted to her she was gorgeous.I was attracted to older woman senses I maybe 9-10 so I always thought of fucking her or just being in a relationship in general till maybe a few a few weeks in I found her FB and IG I wanted to ask her for her number was to much of chicken to ask but after convincing myself I asked and gave it. We started talking a lot more at first it was me saying Good-morning or goodnight but all of the sudden it’s her now and she than vegans to to tell send me hearts or kiss emojis so I would go and everything was going good when I accidentally sent the emoji face this one (🥵) and replied with the same and the wink face with kisses I was surprised and after that we sent emoji like which was pretty sexual an just talked on the or work alot. Now we skip fast forward 6 months so technically now its 2016 I already had her number and everything and at this point we had this thing where she would joke about me always flirting with her and what not but I only did it cause she would give me this look it wasn’t a normal look she would bite on her bottom lip most of the time an being her eyebrow up with a smile. So me a 16yr kind knew what she was up for well not at least what I was thinking was to fuck luckily she was to. So I talked to we once leaving work and was a bit nervous to ask and was second guessing a lot I almost blew it but I somehow got the balls to ask and tell her how I felt. I explained to her I was into her not like a friend type of way more of a well I wanna fuck I just told her there was no point at all sugar coding it she was quite at first but than told me she was flattered and we went back to her place mind you it’s likes 11pm. We get there she tells me I have to sneak in the light the back window cause of her 3 kids so I do. I go in through and automatically she’s on me we making out taking are clothes off and she just grabs on to my dick hard it hurtes a bit not gonna lie an slips it in her. And she just starts riding me the whole 8 minutes she looked me dead in the eyes that same look biting on her bottom lip and her eyebrow up with a small smile. I kid you not I just nutted after those 8 minutes she eventually told me that when she texted me 66 that I was she wanted me the second go around was a bit longer an i lasted more this time.
If you want to hear about the second time let me know but I do miss her we fucked for almost 7 years she just 31 and I’m 23 but we stopped fucking this early year cause she said she need to get some things situated but never spoke to me again. Now she’s engaged and wants nothing to do with me and i don’t know what to do or how to even react I feel like I was used. But I am going to keep trying like in the messages it’s just hard I have so many videos and pictures of her like how can I continue after something like this?

So I was shopping with my partner today, I was hungry and she wanted to go to the food court at the local shopping mall (we were already in the mall). Anyway when we got in there it sounded like a swimming pool. Loads of reverb and noise coming from every direction.
I said I didn’t like it in there and tried to explain that the sound was to much and that I wanted to find a quiet little cafe. My partner got really cross with me and started telling me off.
Does this kind of stuff happen to anyone else?
Am trying to mask less because I think it was causing me a lot of harm, I kept feeling really hollow and empty like I had lost myself. However when I let my guard down things like noise and the types of lighting in certain shops really effect me.
I find it difficult when my partner doesn’t understand. We have been together for a long time and she does do a lot for me, however she just gets annoyed when I find situations overwhelming.

I hear people saying that you should wait to get hit to hit back at the dude all the time, let me explain to you why this doesn’t make sense at all.
If someone is threatening you that he will hit you, you do not need to wait till your hit to hit back, you feel threatened for your life and that’s enough to protect yourself.
Waiting for someone to hit you to fight back is like your doing it for validation and seeming submissive and innocent to others.
If you get hit then it will be a great disadvantage to protect yourself and you will probably get mauled and there is much you can do about that.
Reddit is probably the worst place to find tips to protect yourself in a street fight, do not listen to this stupid advice unless you want to get your ass beat, protect yourself at all times.