Low income senior housing rockford il

Chance me

2023.06.09 09:58 Advertising_Waste Chance me

GPA: 3.6-3.7/4.0 3.75 (freshmen) 3.00 (soph) I have decent reasoning (Dad and Dog died) 4.0 (weighted)
Will my dad dying hold more weight?, I was a strong student and still am but sophmore year I became depressed, however I also learned that due to him dying I wanna become a doctor in oncology?
Latino/low income -adopted -first gen
Class ranking: school doesn’t rank
Sat: 1300 rn but retaking in June and looking to super-score to around a 1400 (only taken twice) but have a max of 2-3 more times to reach a 1350+ updated: aiming for a 1450+ (im capable but I have to grind)
EC: Student gov: 3 years (school finance treasurer) junior and senior year Mindfulness club executive junior and senior year SPCA CLUB Varsity soccer, JV A and B Tulane pre college course for credit (sciences) Georgetown research program (pre med) 300-400 hours of volunteer work (Teaching Spanish people how to properly read and write English) Food pantry volunteer Brown pre college this summer for pre med PASSION PROJECT - biology and conducting my own research and experiment and will then publish and present at a science fair in nyc -violin 8 years - taekwondo red belt -lifeguard 3 years - counselour for students and kids with special needs -club soccer 11 years -ran track and also quit junior year -pre built a few gaming computers -investment over 1200 earned
6-8 aps by my senior year (could only take junior and sophmore year) Looking to major In biology 4.4/4 in AP Biology - lOR will come from my bio teacher 4./4.0 - English teacher (LOR) 4.0/4.0 in math (LOR)
Didn’t get my ap scores yet, but I think I got a 5 on bio and 4 or 5 on apush
Essay: will incorporate stuff about how my dad dying really got me into pre med and biology just how it grew my overall understanding (won’t be a trauma dump)
Counselour will alos give LOR
Chance me at Utexas Miami Cornell Wisconsin Purdue Tulane (Ed) probs Uflorida Virginia tech UVA Binghamton Stony Brook Umich Florida state Villanova Syracuse Rutgers UCSB UCLA
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2023.06.09 09:47 throwaway-upset-and Dating someone who makes 1/3 of my wage and not sure how I feel about it

I suppose I'm here to hear people's opinions on this...
I (31f) am going out with a guy (38m) who makes 1/3 of the money I'm on at the moment. Hes incredibly smart, kind, sweet, and I'm very attracted to him.
Other than a few amber flags, the big issue for me is the money difference between us and how we are both in a very different level of security. To give context, we both live in the UK, and he makes £20,000 a year, I make £60,000.
This concerns me for a few reasons: - £20,000 doesn't go far at all here - he's in a career that doesn't have progression - he's undecided in what he wants to do in life, keeps changing jobs, and is currently in a role that is a fixed 6 month contract. So after this he'll have to find something else - he doesn't have ambition to work his way up in his career, he makes sideway moves (which is fine, but it just means the financial gap between us will keep growing) - he isn't following any kind of passion (e.g. Being on a low wage but doing something he loves and is passionate about) - he wants multiple kids in the future, and if I'm gonna be the breadwinner and have to take the career break with limited flexibility on when id have to return, I fear I will lose out on wanting to be a present mother (one of the reasons I've been working the way I have) - I worked my way up from nothing so that I could have financial independence, and the idea of having to compromise on that and potentially have to subsiside someone else to this extent for them to share experiences with me scares me
I am not a big spender in general and save a lot of money in order to invest it, as I want to get to a point of being an entrepreneur and build multiple income streams (hopefully as passive as possible!). So it's not like I'm spending money on a ridiculous lifestyle - I don't even think he realises how big of a gap there is between us because I live very modestly. I own my own house mainly spend money upkeeping it and improving it.
So if we were to have kids, I'd want to give them experiences I never got... Travel, extracurricular activities, hobbies etc. If I want to take my family to Disney, I want to know that it won't be a massive financial strain on my family and that I wouldn't have to pay for 90% of it... Or not go at all.
I also don't want to feel the pressure of having to stay at a job without having someone to lean on in the scenario that my work becomes a toxic environment, or I become incapable of work.
I'm trying to not be superficial about this, and feel a bit of a dick for even thinking this way.
So just wanted to hear if anyone has experienced anything similar to this and has any pearls of wisdom
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2023.06.09 08:45 temp0ralpincer Biko House @ Oakes vs Trans Inclusive Housing @ Merrill?

Yo I’m an incoming freshman and I got into both ABCSTEM Biko house and TIH at Merrill. Originally I was worried that I could get assigned to possibly transphobic roomies since Biko doesn’t have a dedicated trans or lgbtq housing floor. Could y’all offer any insight into which housing choice may be right for me? I’m a Black gnc trans person and I’m a robotics engineering major.
Pros of Biko House: - surrounded by the black community at ucsc as well as other stem majors - studious environment - no hill - quiet dorms
Cons: - no lgbtq housing - “single gender” rooms - triples only - low student interest - random roommate
Pros of TIH: - safer living situation in terms of trans students - closer to center of campus - easier to find potential roomies
Cons: - heart attack hill - barely any black students - lack of connections through ABCSTEM - less studious environment
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2023.06.09 08:20 Legendarywristcel Its important to use your natural edge while investing in stocks

Ill point this out with a good example. I was talking to a friend of mine who has been taking a long term position in SBI. I have been a long term investor in HDFC bank and more recently Axis. HDFC bank to me is a decently fast growing stock that still has potential to be unlocked. The management of the bank is professional and their core business is the housing market which in India is still in its native phase. The merger does complicate things a bit. If you're an investor in the bank, the net interest income does go down a bit as a result. But long term investors can ignore this.
Axis is a turnaround, a company that was previously badly managed and now turned around to become a decently fast growing company.
He was pointing to me that SBI, despite its size and relevance, is still undervalued. I then asked him (since he runs a business), what banks he has his loan accounts in. All of his secured loans were in Kotak Mahindra bank (another bank with decent long term potential) and he has zero accounts in any PSU including SBI. He also told me he would never approach a PSU bank for a loan because of the way they operate.
There's a reason why investors assign low PE to nationalized banks;
  1. Poor customer service
  2. Usual lethargy/lack of motivation in the staff that you see in government run companies
  3. Policy issues. If you go for a loan, they will scrutinize your balance sheet. But someone like Adani can get 27,000 crores sanctioned to his group.
Most people know this when they walk into a public sector bank vs a private one. And yet when it comes to investing, people assume their personal experiences don't matter as much.

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2023.06.09 08:12 RelationshipSad5049 Trying to get away

I need help with A uhaul truck and trailer Fuel First month's rent and deposit
 My mom, sister and her husband live in W$#^%$_/k Georgia. My two children; a 22 yr old low functioning autistic son and 13 yr old daughter, and I live in a small town in kentucky. In March of 2019 I was hurt at work and as a result got a serious brain injury which caused memory problems, cognitive disfunction, face blindness, autonomic dysfunction, frontal lobe seizures, personality changes, headaches and a bunch of other stuff. It's been a long hard road.my memory is 1 month long so I journal every day. Keep every text email receipt. I had been with my partner since before my accident. I counted on him to be my "memory" I trusted him, what he said. I had gotten to where I had decided it would be best for my children, for him, for the only three people left in my life, my mom, sister and him, if I pursued PAS. He was the only one who cared about me, whether I lived or died....... everyone else had left. In April he started saying my mom and sister were using me. I can tell you this because I went back and read 4 years of journals, texts, emails, receipts and bank records. now I have a cliff notes version of everything he has done that I read every day so I don't forget. 
For 4 years he had been changing my reality. Using my memory issues to mess with me. For 4 years he has been convincing me it was better for everyone if I were dead. For 4 yrs he has been alienating me from everyone I know. He emptied my bank account of my workers comp settlement that was supposed to pay my medical bills and living expenses. For 4 years He physically and verbally abused my children and I. The house I live in. I thought was in my name. It's not.
 There is a KSP, APS, bank and commonwealth attorney general investigation going on. But I am stuck in F@#%=÷×h ky. I have no one here. I need to be with my sister and mom. I know they will protect my children and I. I know we will be safe down there. Getting there, finding a place, that's the problem. My sister and mom are willing to let us come and two of us stay at my sisters, one stay at Mommy's. But, my brother in law is horribly allergic to dogs and I have a service dog because of my seizures and I hate the idea of making him miserable. I have income of $2800.00 a month. My sister and mom are not well off and help as much as they can. I just want to feel safe. My kids to be safe. To not be a prisoner in this house because hes everwhere. My sister and momma to be able to stop worrying. I need to be with people I can trust .I'm grasping at straws here. I'm losing hope. 
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2023.06.09 07:50 throwawaycoll36 I’m feeling hopeless and sad

I (22M) don’t know what to do, I’m waiting for a diagnosis but I think fixing me is too late. I’m behind in life and all my friends. I’ve been unemployed for well over a year and I failed college. And with all my credit card spending in college, my debt is in collections and my credit score is the lowest it can be. If I ever get the meds I desperately need, I’ll be pushed back by several years and things are gonna get way worse before they get better
I’m too dumb for employment and I can’t relate to much people here because everyone drops in the fact that they have a degree or something if the sort. But I have nothing, no accomplishments and no skills.
I have friends on fb who graduated and are living professional independent lives, there is a friend of mine with ADHD and I was supportive person of them and she just graduated and got a job, and I can’t pass part time college classes or hold a job at a grocery store, or have anything from high school, I was a D student and despite the IEP I wasn’t accommodated
I have accepted the fact that starting a self sustaining life and career and adult stuff is just fantasy to me, and I can’t realistically envision myself with such luxuries.
I don’t want a career anymore, I don’t want to go back to school, even if I tried I can’t because my credit score is too low for assistance. I will never get to the stage of buying a car, or a house, or finding an SO. And I’m so fucking mad at this moment I just wanna rip my bomb site of a room apart more
I honestly have no interest in getting my life back together. I’m in too much mental pain, I can’t call hotlines because I have no phone plan
All of this could’ve been prevented if I got a proper DX when I was little
I wanted to graduate and a get a good paying job and follow my dreams and travel the world, now I’m a hopeless knob who’s stuck in a low income house with my dad and everyday is pain, depression, and darkness
I’m too young to have ruined my one shot at life
I give up
Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t
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2023.06.09 07:44 My_Mudra Unlocking the Value of Your Property: Loan Against Property Explained

Unlocking the Value of Your Property: Loan Against Property Explained

Unlocking the Value of Your Property: Loan Against Property Explained
Property is an investment that can help you in your bad times. Hard times always come uninvited and leave us helpless. Property in hand can be financial aid that can quench our immediate needs. People usually buy property because it supports them and acts as an asset for them. A Loan against Property is financial aid provided by Banks and NBFCs in which the property is pledged as collateral to the bank.
A Loan Against Property is a type of secured loan offered by legal lenders to eligible borrowers at different rates of interest. A secured loan is one that needs collateral to be pledged as security to the bank. The article below will explain where we can use Loan against the property. In addition, it will brief you about the main things to be kept in mind before taking Loan Against Property.
What is Loan Against Property?
A loan against property, also known as a mortgage loan or property-backed loan, is a financial arrangement where an individual or business borrows money from a financial institution or lender by pledging their owned property as collateral. This type of loan allows borrowers to leverage the value of their property to secure a substantial amount of funds for various purposes. The property used as collateral can be residential, commercial, or industrial real estate, including land, apartments, houses, or even warehouses.
When opting for a loan against property, the lender assesses the market value of the property offered as collateral and extends a loan amount based on a certain percentage of that value. The borrower retains ownership of the property but grants a lien or mortgage on it, which means that the lender has the right to sell the property in case of loan default. The interest rates for such loans are generally lower compared to unsecured loans, as the collateral reduces the risk for the lender.
Where to use Loan Against Property?
Mentioned below are the purposes where we can utilize for Loan Against Property:
  • You can use the funds received from the loan against property in business expansions.
  • The borrower can also use the loan in Consolidating Debts.
  • Loans against property can be used in Financing higher education.
  • The borrower can fund the Medical expenses from the Loan Against Property.
  • You can also fund the wedding expenses from the loan.
  • The borrower can even use the loan for purchasing another property.
Since the loan amount is substantial, borrowers have the flexibility to use the funds as per their requirements.
Things to be kept in mind before taking a loan against property
  • Property Valuation: Understand the market value of your property and assess its potential for appreciation. This will help you determine the loan amount you can expect to receive.
  • Interest rate: Check the interest rate before applying for LAP in any bank. The interest rate for the LAP might vary, hence, it is important to check the interest rate for different banks and apply for the one which is offering the lowest interest rates. In addition, check other charges offered by the bank and also calculate your EMI.
  • Repayment Capacity: Analyze your income, expenses, and financial obligations to assess your repayment capacity. Ensure that you can comfortably meet the monthly EMI (Equated Monthly Installment) obligations without straining your finances.
  • Tenure of the loan: Choose the tenure of the loan as per your requirements. Longer tenure means fewer EMIs and shorter tenure means you are paying more EMIs but will complete the loan in less time.
  • Documentation: Gather all the documents required for Loan Against Property beforehand, it will be convenient for the borrowers and will reduce the chances of getting a loan rejected.
  • Make good Credit History: A good credit score will help you to get your loan approved easily. A credit score of more than 750 increases your chances of getting a Loan Against Property.
The article above will help you understand the concept of a Loan Against Property clearly. A loan Against Property is a secured loan which means a borrower needs to present land as a security to the bank. Also, the bank will analyze the rate as per market standards and offer you a certain loan amount. Loan Against Property is offered at a low-interest rate starting from 8.5% P.A. One can opt for the Loan Against the Property if they have land in their hand.
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2023.06.09 07:36 Fund_Contrast_445 Determining a realistic FIRE number

So I'm pushing for a FIRE number that is over and above my current "expenses".
More about my current situation:
I do have room to dial things back but I believe I will sacrifice quality of life too much. I'm fine with delaying early or partial retirement a bit and be able to get out and do a few things now or purchase some things I enjoy. But this is not on the level of doing a couple of international holidays a year or buying a new car every few years. But if I want to go do some local trip or visits some nice fine dining restaurant then I'm not going to think twice about it if my spending budget covers it.
Using a 3% withdrawal rate and an assumed future net return of 4% above inflation (Global diversified), I should be able FIRE in about 15 years with my capital investments.
But in 15 years life will be different and expenses will be different. So I'm currently targeting a value of 20% greater than current expenses which will push me back another couple of years. For me its because of kids and medical assumptions.
But at that time I would also be in a completely different financial position potentially. I would have a paid off house, maybe do less and spend less. Along the way maybe investing more and more can push the date closer and closer. Partial FIRE is also an option to reduce work to contract or half day etc. and enjoy more of life sooner. Although I would reduce withdrawal rate even more then or shift to coast fire approach.
So to the point of my rambling, how are FIRE goals 15-20 years out really realistic to try and determine due too life changes, kids, medical risks etc.? What have done to try and get a more accurate and realistic FIRE goal/number?

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2023.06.09 05:52 RelationshipSad5049 Need help getting kids and I to safety and family

Need help getting kids and I to safety and family
I need help with A uhaul truck and trailer Fuel for 550 miles 1st months rent Deposit
 My mom, sister and her husband live in W$#^%$_/k Georgia. My two children; a 22 yr old low functioning autistic son and 13 yr old daughter, and I live in a small town in kentucky. In March of 2019 I was hurt at work and as a result got a serious brain injury which caused memory problems, cognitive disfunction, face blindness, autonomic dysfunction, frontal lobe seizures, personality changes, headaches and a bunch of other stuff. It's been a long hard road.my memory is 1 month long so I journal every day. Keep every text email receipt. I had been with my partner since before my accident. I counted on him to be my "memory" I trusted him, what he said. I had gotten to where I had decided it would be best for my children, for him, for the only three people left in my life, my mom, sister and him, if I pursued PAS. He was the only one who cared about me, whether I lived or died....... everyone else had left. In April he started saying my mom and sister were using me. I can tell you this because I went back and read 4 years of journals, texts, emails, receipts and bank records. now I have a cliff notes version of everything he has done that I read every day so I don't forget. 
For 4 years he had been changing my reality. Using my memory issues to mess with me. For 4 years he has been convincing me it was better for everyone if I were dead. For 4 yrs he has been alienating me from everyone I know. He emptied my bank account of my workers comp settlement that was supposed to pay my medical bills and living expenses. For 4 years He physically and verbally abused my children and I. The house I live in. I thought was in my name. It's not.
 There is a KSP, APS, bank and commonwealth attorney general investigation going on. But I am stuck in F@#%=÷×h ky. I have no one here. I need to be with my sister and mom. I know they will protect my children and I. I know we will be safe down there. Getting there, finding a place, that's the problem. My sister and mom are willing to let us come and two of us stay at my sisters, one stay at Mommy's. But, my brother in law is horribly allergic to dogs and I have a service dog because of my seizures and I hate the idea of making him miserable. I have income of $2800.00 a month. My sister and mom are not well off and help as much as they can. I just want to feel safe. My kids to be safe. My sister and momma to be able to stop worrying. I need to be with people I can trust .I'm grasping at straws here. 
My PayPal is @ttdbn My cashapp is $dtasker68
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2023.06.09 05:22 chronic-venting Supporting Survivors of Domestic Violence CrimethInc

- Recipes for Disaster: An Anarchist Cookbook
Helping Women and Society Escape Violent Relationships
Women exist in a "domesticated" combat zone. On any given day in the United States, an average of 480 women will be raped, 5,760 women will be assaulted, and 4 will be murdered by a [cis] male partner. Domestic violence [against women] is an assault on women's bodies and minds by those who claim to love them and love to claim them. The success of this violence depends on the complicity of community. If we intend to bring about true liberation, we must foster explicitly antiauthoritarian behavior in both personal and political life. No hierarchy is acceptable and no domination is justifiable—not even "behind closed doors." Because one in four women will be assaulted (likely including someone you love), we must wage war on domestic violence. We serve to empower our communities best by fighting the violence and hierarchy closest to home… or in the home.
Stage One: Helping Her
Educate yourself. Domestic violence (DV) is rarely a single instance of battery, but instead a pattern of power and control. It may involve sexual or physical violence, or it may be a complex web of threats, property destruction, isolation, and emotional, financial, and mental abuse. Understanding this will help you recognize abuse if it comes without physical bruises.
If you are truly ready to have your mother, friend, or daughter tell you what is happening in her private life, invite her to come to you. If you are speaking against violence and rape, she will know you are ready. Wheatpaste neighborhoods with posters about domestic violence, hold street fairs against violence in residential neighborhoods, plaster infoshops and collective homes with signs that invite women into a safe space. If she, her children, or her animals are in immediate danger, however, you may need to approach her. Never approach the abuser: most abusers are paranoid and will quickly assume their victims have exposed them, and may retaliate against them.
Follow her lead. The most important thing you will do is be there for her, even if you feel useless. Trying to be a hero can only undermine her autonomy. Let her make her own decisions, even bad ones, and never tell her what to do. Give her back control: refuse to dominate her and recreate the abuse.
Give her a phone number or a way to contact you or someone in the community. Best is a cell phone that will always be on, or a collective house's number where someone is usually awake.
Let her talk. Don't wince or gasp: tales of [rape] and strangulation are not easy to listen to, but they are harder to tell. Survivors are often terrified of either tainting someone else's world with their trauma or not being believed. Tell her you believe her. You will be changed by what you hear; thank her for that. Confirm what may seem obvious.
An abuser spends a lot of time telling her she is crazy, and that no one would believe her. Tell her that you are listening, and offer eye contact and physical closeness if she is comfortable with it. Assure her that the way she feels is okay. There is no "normal" way to respond to abnormal acts of violence. Understand that the shield of invulnerability has been shattered (41% of rape victims and 89% of domestic violence victims expect to be assaulted again). She may be hyper-vigilant; the best way to help is to make her feel safe and legitimize/recognize her fears.
Focus on practical and immediate concerns. Where can one buy mace? What organizations work with DV issues? Ask her what she needs in order to leave: shelter? transportation? a job? childcare? money? Help her find these resources. Then ask what she needs to stay out of the relationship. For most women, it takes seven to fourteen attempts to leave their abusers. If she doesn't have the resources to stay gone, she may return because he can support her. Many abusers manipulate these needs. This is what makes DV such a pernicious crime: the perpetrator is the person who knows her best.
Address her immediate safety. If she is living with the abuser, make sure she has a plan to get out during a violent episode (contact your local coalition against DV for safety plans). Offer to keep personal papers and a packed suitcase for her and some extra money. Make sure she has a phone. An old cell phone without service can still dial 911 if charged. Consider establishing code words for her to use if she needs help, or other signals—a porch light off, for example, could let the neighbors know they should contact the police. If she doesn't live with her abuser, offer to find someone to stay with her or nearby. Do a safety check: make sure phone lines can't be cut, doors have deadbolts, and windows are nailed shut. If she wants to stay in hiding, help her cover her tracks by getting all mail sent to another address or post office box; offer to put your name on utilities. If she rides a bus or bike, find a car for her to borrow. Find community members who can do errands with her, pick her up from work, watch the children, etc. 90% of stalking cases are former intimate partners, not strangers.
The anti-DV movement started as an underground railroad of homes. Consider where she stays carefully. If the abuser knows where she is staying, she can feel like a sitting duck, especially if she stays with a [cis man]—an abuser's insecurity and suspicions can easily turn to rage. The majority of extreme violence and murder occur when the woman tries to leave, because the abuser feels he is losing control of her. Taking a survivor into your home is a serious commitment; unless you are prepared to internalize her constant vigilance and your home is very secure, she may be safer with someone else.
If she wants, help her use the legal system to file charges, obtain a protective order, file for custody, or get a divorce. Discuss the pros and cons of this in relation to safety, not politics. Until we develop an alternative, we cannot criticize a woman for using "the system." It is imperative, however, that she doesn't invest her safety or emotional wellbeing in the criminal justice system, as it often fails.
The community might want to deal with or "out" the abuser. Some communities have ostracized abusers, boycotted their businesses, refused to speak to them. You could make posters of his face, or spray paint his house. You can run abusers out of town, though understand this has the potential of resulting in his abusing someone somewhere else. You can threaten him with violence. No matter what is done, it must be acceptable to the survivor, because her well-being is at stake.
Stage Two: Helping Us
There are many steps we must take as communities and collectives to be welcoming and radicalizing spaces for survivors. At the same time, we must each take personal responsibility for shifting the public conscience toward abhorrence for violence. In a patriarchal state, violence toward and the rape of women prop up sexist oppression and exploitation. We cannot transform "rape culture" without committing ourselves to resisting and eradicating all patriarchy.
We must redefine sex and relationships away from terms of violence, power, domination and status. In our relationships we can try to create a new vocabulary that [prioritizes] consent and equality.
[Cis] men in particular need to organize. [Most] DV is a [cis] man's problem—women just suffer the consequences. A radical [cis] heterosexual male must give up the privileges of his gender—only then can he be approachable, only then will he be capable of offering meaningful help to a survivor. You cannot aid a survivor while allowing for other forms of sexism to prevail. [... Cis m]en can unlearn their gender construction and undermine patriarchy; imagine if every boy grew up around men who were struggling against patriarchy and violence.
Taheera called the police after Mark had threatened to take their five-month-old baby, Juan. There were bruises on her neck from a previous incident, and Mark was arrested. It had been Mark's idea to move to the city when Taheera was 3 months pregnant. Taheera started to go to a low-cost clinic for prenatal care, but stopped going when Mark accused her of sleeping with the doctor. The first time Mark hit her was after she made a list of baby names. He was jealous of the attention the baby was getting.
I am a social worker, and an agency referred her to me. When we first talked, Taheera kept looking behind her. I suggested she push her chair against the wall, and promised her that I would keep checking down the hallway for Mark (even though Mark was in jail and wasn't going to be coming).
She was scared of Mark and of what he might do to her and the baby, especially now that he had been arrested. Mark's job was their only source of income, and he might be fired if he didn't get out of jail soon. She had a lot of questions about the legal system and was curious to know if I had talked to other women who felt like she did. We talked about local groups and shelters that could help, but mostly I just listened. I gave her my number and a 24-hour crisis number. Taheera chose to bail Mark out, using all their savings, but not to speak with him. The state had Mark sign a "no contact order" telling him he couldn't contact her or move back home, so he got an apartment upstairs from Taheera and made a point of bringing lots of "bitches" home so Taheera would see. Taheera didn't show up to court and the case was dropped.
Two weeks later, Taheera called and said that Mark was upstairs, Juan was asking for him, and that she was trying to resist going up to him. She missed him. I simply listened, and told her, as best I could, that her feelings were normal. She kept asking, "What's wrong with me?" I tried to refocus on Mark's problems. Taheera finally agreed to walk downtown and sign up for a support group that had childcare. But she never did, and instead went upstairs to Mark.
Eight months later, Taheera called from a payphone. Mark had held a gun to her head because he was angry that they now lived together in the upstairs apartment but he still had to pay for the downstairs apartment. He cut the phone cord so she couldn't call out. Things had been okay for a while: Mark had let her get a job and was being a "good daddy." Taheera told me that she had left several times, but each time he had found her or threatened her family Taheera felt too tired to leave, and just wanted things to "stay sane."
Taheera decided to save up money. We met for lunch one afternoon and made a list of what to do, which I kept so Mark wouldn't see it. I also gave her an old cell phone to call 911, which she hid in a cabinet. She got a separate bank account and started funneling part of her paycheck into it. She told a neighbor what was happening and gave the neighbor a packed suitcase to keep for her. I researched Section 8 housing in her hometown, and had the papers sent to my office. Taheera asked me to look up domestic violence resources in her hometown on my computer, because Mark made a point of checking out which websites she had visited when he got home from work. Mark grew suspicious, probably because Taheera seemed to be happier. Mark started calling her work and hanging up, and kept this up until she was fired. He bought her a cell phone so he could call her repeatedly any time she was out. He started not letting her leave the house with Juan, so that she would have to come back. He took her car keys. Eight months before, Taheera might have given up, because Mark seemed to be catching on.
I don't know all the details, but one night Taheera got someone from her church to park outside the apartments and start shouting. Mark, easily annoyed, went out to shut them up, and she and Juan got their suitcases from the neighbors and left through a back door, where the church friend picked them up.
I don't know if Taheera's story is a success story, but it is a real story. Since then, Mark has found out where she lives and has gained visitation rights to Juan through a court. Mark has also assaulted her twice since she left, once running her and Juan off the road. Taheera, however, has broken her connection to Mark and broken the cycle of abuse. Sometimes I think about her friend from church and the neighbor, and wonder what would have happened without them.
Recently, she read an article about my being arrested for protesting and asked what I was doing. I told her that I fight violence and hierarchy on all levels and she muttered, "Oh." But yesterday she left a message saying she was reading a lot and did I have any favorite authors? I'm thinking Emma Goldman or a little Naomi Wolfe.
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2023.06.09 05:12 estherrific99 having choosing problems regarding psychiatrists

hello there. I've been really struggling with my mental health and am in the midst of seeking help. I'm still a student with no income or car so I'm trying to do it on a budget, however I've encountered a problem I need advice on.
The closest government health facility from my house is the one in batu 13, however when I called to make an enquiry on their psychiatric services, the 1st lady that answered kinda laughed in my face(?) and just immediately passed the phone to another lady, maybe I pronounced psychiatrists wrong or something I dunno🤷‍♀️. The 2nd lady was quite tight-lipped on what mental conditions the clinic could treat, I wanted to know what were the symptoms that were definitely treatable at their facility so I didn't have to waste a trip if it turns out that my symptoms needed to treated elsewhere. She just kept saying the criteria can't be told over the phone and that I needed to come see the doctor in person for a diagnosis. And when I was hanging up, I could hear giggling. ok, maybe I'm being a little sensitive, but the whole experience kinda rubbed me the wrong way. I keep telling myself that maybe the psychiatrist is wonderful despite the unprofessional impression I had of the people who answered the phone. However I read some Google reviews, and they're not great. Some said the doctors and nurses were really unprofessional and there are multiple warnings of really long waiting hours which from what I read is normal for government health facilities.
Should I still make an appointment to go there? Or should I look for another klinik despite the higher grab fees? (there's no direct route to any klinik kesihatan if i use public transport). Or should I just take the risk and go to batu 13? All the other klinik kesihatans near my place have similar low Google ratings anyways. I'm having decision paralysis, advice would be greatly appreciated 🥲
submitted by estherrific99 to malaysia [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 05:00 le1236 Do any of you plan ahead or worry about your ability to provide?

So I love my job but it only makes $46k, no 401k, No raises even if I exceed expectations. As an accountant, that’s low. It’s manageable because I have no debt. I kept the job because it’s the one job that doesn’t care that I’m narcoleptic and sleep a lot on the job, so long as I get the quota.
I’m considering applying for other jobs for more money, primarily because I’m concerned that my income won’t be enough if I ever get a girlfriend, date long distance, or have a live in partner. I have no control over which city it’s in.
My sister and I live together, and split bill. Not willing to move if I get an offer in a different city( which is understandable, she makes $100k as a pharmacist).. She says I’m overthinking and should only be doing this for me, myself and I. That since I’m not having any luck in the dating field and unlikely to get a surprise pregnancy, this shouldn’t be what I’m worrying about now. If anything, should be more focused on improving myself.
It’s weird. My sister makes $100k; she doesn’t even blink before making a purchase. She doesn’t have to plan ahead for purchases. I remember living in a shitty house and my dad couldn’t/wouldn’t pay for certain things we needed. If I ever get a girlfriend, the last thing I want is for her to go without something she needs because I can’t afford it.
Curious if any of you have similar thoughts about providing for a partner.
submitted by le1236 to actuallesbians [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 05:00 TunesAndK1ngz 25 Albums that got me through Exams.

25 Albums that got me through Exams. submitted by TunesAndK1ngz to lastfm [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 04:44 QuestforFI Sell or Keep 2 Year Rental Home with Cap Gains Exemption Expiration Coming

We started renting out our house two years ago unexpectedly (I am not a real estate expert) when we decided to not sell because we weren't getting what we felt like were fair offers in a really competitive market. Our best offer was in the mid $650ks when a house with the same floorplan sold slightly over $710k about a month before. We had already started the closing process on another mid $750k house, which we now live in, and we didn't want to lose it for various reasons. I'm a little over 12 months from the 3 year capital gains exemption deadline and I am unsure of whether I should sell my rental within the next 12 months or keep it (probably for a very long time). We were the first residents and had lived in it just over 2 years. Here are some financial details that are relevant.
The numbers seem to indicate I should keep this, but I feel like I've only seen the positive side on being a landlord. I haven't experienced a real estate market in which I haven't found renters. I have had pretty low maintenance renters and I haven't had many expenses due to the age of the house.
If I did sell, I would use the proceeds to pay off some of the mortgage on my current loan (decrease debt) and invest the remainder.
Are there things that I'm not thinking about that I should think about?
Thanks for your feedback!
submitted by QuestforFI to personalfinance [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 03:55 SL500Girl I’m so tired, Dad.

Hi Dad.
You’ve been gone 26 years — I’ve mourned you for over twice the length of time I got to have with you. You worked so hard and took such care to make sure I’d be ok, and would have options for my future, but I feel as though I’ve let you down. After you died, the adults around me weren’t very reliable. Mom has not been the same since you died. I can’t blame her; she woke up and you were dead in bed beside her. The first 10 years you were gone, she just drank. Didn’t even eat. It was me and her all alone in the house you bought for us in the woods. I did my best to make it out of that house in one piece, and I did, but now that I’m an adult I’m realizing how much damage was done to me. Mom switched from vodka to weed when I was in college, and is still high all the time now. She hasn’t kept up her end of the bargain in terms of selling our house and being smart about our financial future. Our dynamic was very codependent and enmeshed; I was a parentified child. Your other kids still refuse to acknowledge me, because you cheated on their mom with mine. So for those first 10 years after you died, I was all alone with an adult who was really struggling with mental illness. By the time I left home, I was very codependent and had a skewed view of love, relationships, and support.
I’m proud to tell you that I started codependents anonymous this year. Recovery has brought me a lot of clarity so far, but it’s also made me scared for my future. I’ve been in a relationship for 16 years with a loving and wonderful person. I wish you could have met them. They have been extremely loyal and supportive, and are great with Mom (I know, I never thought I’d find that either). The only problem is, I’m realizing that in a lot of ways, I’ve repeated the same dynamic with my partner that I had with Mom. I have been financially carrying us, despite being low on or out of work for 2 years (I work in entertainment, like I always told you I would — but it’s freelance and unreliable). I thought I was doing this so that my partner could attend to major health and financial issues they’ve been putting off; they have not done any of this. They have, however, struggled with a tech addiction. I’ve told my partner that if they don’t step up, my next step is leaving and getting my own place when I book another job. I’m sad, because I feel like I already know how this is going to end.
I look at where I’m at with my life and where you were at my age and I am so scared I’ve disappointed you, Dad. There have been so many times when I’ve wished I could call you to ask your advice on grownup stuff. Mom can’t help me in that way. She hasn’t prepared well for her senior years, or taken good care of herself or her health. I want to support her, but I’ve spent so long supporting her and my partner that I’m scared for my future. I’m like you, I love my work, I’ll happily work until the day I die, like you did. But I’m not having kids, and my savings is dwindling fast. What if I didn’t save enough to take care of myself when I’m old? Have I spent too much of my life lighting myself on fire to keep other people warm? Will I ever know what it’s like to feel truly, fully supported, or did that die with you too?
I miss you. I’m sorry I used to pull my hand away when you tried to hold it on our drives. I was only 9 or 10 and didn’t understand what was going on. How sick you were. (Btw you really did a number on me by keeping your terminal illness from me, but I know that was a real tough call).
I could really use some advice or validation, Dad. You died before I was old enough to get to know you as a person, so I have no idea: am I like you? How? Would we like each other? Are you proud of me? Do you think I’m a hard worker? A good person? Am I doing a good job, and am I going to be ok?
I’m glad you’re not in pain anymore, but I really wish we could have had more time together. This was super long, Dad. Thanks for reading.
submitted by SL500Girl to DadForAMinute [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 03:25 je_veux_sentir CBA puts odds of a recession in 2023 at 50%

From their release today
We downgrade our economic forecasts following the change of RBA call
■ We forecast GDP growth to be 0.7%/yr at Q4 23 and 1.9%/yr at Q4 24.
■ Broadly flat real household consumption over the remainder of 2023 sits at the heart of our forecasts for the economy to grow significantly below trend and be in a per‑capita recession for the remainder of this year.
■ We put the odds of a recession in 2023 at 50% as the lagged impact of the RBA’s rate increases continues to drain the cash flow of households that carry debt.
■ We expect the annual rate of inflation to decline to 3.8% by late 2023 (our forecast is for underlying inflation to be 3.6%/yr in Q4 23).
■ We expect the unemployment rate to grind higher over 2023 to end the year at 4.4% and to be 4.7% by mid‑2024.
■ Our economic forecasts are conditional on one final 25bp increase in the cash rate in Q3 23 for a peak this cycle of 4.35%. They are also conditional on 125bp of policy easing in 2024.
■ Monetary policy is now deeply restrictive, which means by definition the economy will slow materially from here. A recap of our updated RBA call
Earlier this week we updated our RBA call in light of the 25bp rate hike at the June Board meeting, RBA Governor Lowe’s speech today and the Q1 23 national accounts.
We now expect one further 25bp increase in the cash rate for a peak of 4.35% and see it most likely at the August Board meeting. The risk is a 25bp rate hike earlier in July. There is also a risk of 25bp rate rises in both July and August, which would take the cash rate to 4.6%.
We also pushed out the timing of the start of rate cuts from Q4 23 to Q1 24 – we expect 125bp of easing in 2024 (50bp of rate cuts in Q1 24 and 25bp of easing in each of Q2 24, Q3 24 and Q4 24, which would take the cash rate to 3.10% at end 2024).
See here for our detailed note on our updated RBA call.
Our updated RBA call means that we have downgraded our assessment of the economic outlook.
Tighter monetary policy means weaker economic growth
Previously we expected GDP growth to slow to 0.9%/yr in Q4 23. That forecast was conditional on a peak in the cash rate of 3.85%.
As a result of our change in RBA call we have downgraded our forecast for GDP growth to 0.7%/yr in Q4 23.
With annual population growth expected to be ~2.0% in 2023, we expect Australia to be in a per‑capita recession over the year (recall that per‑capita GDP growth was negative in Q1 23 – see here).
Household consumption grew by just 0.2% in Q1 23. But the detail highlighted the current tough period for many households.
Growth in essential spending increased over the quarter (1.1%), while discretionary spending fell by 1.0%. It is no wonder consumer sentiment is sitting in the doldrums. We expect consumer sentiment, as measured by the Westpac/MI survey, to sink further in June when the data is published next week (13/6).
Our expectation is that real household consumption is essentially flat over the rest of 2023. Against a backdrop of 2.0%/yr population growth that implies a solid negative fall in consumption per capita. Indeed it would not surprise us to see a quarter or two of negative growth in total household consumption.
Monetary policy works with a lag. Only around half of the RBA’s already delivered 400bps of policy tightening have hit the household sector. As the lagged impact of rate rises continues to hit home borrowers mortgage repayments will rise to a record high as a share of household income (see facing chart). This will have a negative impact on household consumption.
Nominal income growth will continue to be supported by wages growth, which we expect will lift to 3.9%/yr in Q3 23. But this will not be enough to offset the ongoing drag on the consumer from rising mortgage repayments.
An expectation that rental inflation will continue to lift will also hit the large number of households that rent. While rents are effectively a transfer payment within the household sector, many investors will be faced with higher mortgage repayments. So a good chunk of the money transferred from tenants to landlords will exit the household sector (note that the Government also taxes rent as it is considered income to the landlord).
What about the savings?
A large stock of savings were accrued during the pandemic. But the savings were not distributed evenly. As the facing chart shows, the bulk of the savings amassed during the pandemic sit within the older cohort of society.
We do not expect this demographic to draw down on their savings swiftly. Rather they are likely to spend these savings in a protracted way over many years. The upshot is that we do not anticipate a speedy injection of the accrued savings back into the economy.
Households as a collective tend to draw down on savings when they are feeling positive about the economic outlook. That is not the case right now. The anxiety being felt in the household sector as a whole is showing up in very weak readings of consumer sentiment – historically consistent with a major negative economic shock or recession.
The savings rate fell to a below‑average 3.7% in Q1 23. It can fall further. Based on our forecast profile for household consumption and household disposable income, we expect the savings rate will hit a floor of ~2.5% in H2 23.
Weaker growth means higher unemployment
Our downgraded assessment of economic growth means we mechanically upwardly revise our forecast for the unemployment rate. We see the unemployment rate increasing to 4.4% by end‑2023.
It is likely that measured productivity growth will stay weak over coming quarters as there is a lag between slowing economic activity and rising unemployment.
Initially firms will keep workers on the books as demand slows. This weighs on measured output per hour worked. Output (i.e. production) slows faster than the demand for inputs (i.e. labour). So productivity remains weak and unit labour costs stay elevated for a period of time. But this dynamic does not last indefinitely.
Once demand has slowed for a sufficient period of time some firms will respond by decreasing the hours they require their staff to work. A reduction in headcount also occurs. This is expected to happen in the discretionary parts of the economy where spending is forecast to contract. These outcomes are being engineered by restrictive monetary policy in order to drop the rate of inflation.
1Business investment still looks good
The most recent capex survey was a decent one. Investment intentions were firmer than we anticipated. But not all strong data is bad data just because the objective is to drop inflation. Indeed firmer capex plans should be welcomed.
Business investment lifts capital deepening (where the capital per worker is increasing in the economy). This improves productivity (output per hour worked). There has been a lot of focus lately on weak productivity in the economy. So firming capex intentions are good. The RBA wants to see productivity rise. And higher investment is an ingredient required to lift productivity. In the long run business investment is disinflationary as the productive side of the economy is expanding. It also makes sense to have a decent investment outlook given annual population growth is 2%.
Our home price call is unchanged
According to CoreLogic, Australian property prices rose for a third consecutive month in May. The 1.4% increase in the 8 capital city benchmark index over the month followed a 0.7% increase in April and a 0.8% lift in March (see here).
The turnaround in property prices over the last three months has been nothing short of remarkable given the RBA has continued to lift the cash rate over that period.
In April we upgraded our home price forecasts. Our point forecast is for home prices to lift by 3% in 2023 and a further 5% rise in 2024. We have not changed this forecast despite the change in our RBA call.
The RBA recently cited home prices as feeding into their decision to lift the cash rate “services price inflation is proving persistent here and overseas, and the recent data on inflation, wages and housing prices were higher than had been factored into the forecasts. Given this shift in risks and the already fairly drawn‑out return of inflation to target, the Board judged that a further increase in interest rates was warranted.” (our emphasis in bold).
But the RBA is facing an uphill battle to change the outlook for home prices by lifting the cash rate as monetary policy tightening is behind the big drop in building approvals.
Further rate hikes reduce borrower capacity, which should by itself put downward pressure on home prices. But rate hikes also decrease the rate at which new homes will be built. This further exacerbates the mismatch between the underlying demand for housing and supply. The circularity here means we do not think our change of RBA call for a higher terminal rate alters the outlook for home prices.
There is light at the end of the tunnel
Readers may feel like there is a pessimistic tone to this note. That is understandable. Economists don’t take pleasure in downgrading the outlook for economic growth and upwardly revising their forecasts for unemployment. But there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Once the proverbial ‘inflation dragon’ is slayed monetary policy will be able to move away from a deeply restrictive setting to a more neutral one. Rate relief will arrive to the household sector in the future and we expect that to happen in early 2024.
As interest rates are cut it will free up cash for those borrowers that have a mortgage. And the demand for credit will begin to lift. As this happens economic momentum will start to pick up and the upward trend in the unemployment rate will wane. Consumer sentiment and spending will lift.
Our expectation is that the unemployment rate will peak at 4.7% in mid‑2024 before grinding back down to 4.5% in late‑2024. This is below the pre‑pandemic level of ~5.0%.
Ultimately we will not be able to hold onto all of the gains we made in employment over the pandemic. And the RBA readily acknowledges this as they see some lift in the unemployment rate as a necessary condition to return inflation to target.
But if we end up with inflation back to target, unemployment at ~4.5% and wages growth at ~3.5% by the end of 2024 then Australia will have done a lot better over the period ahead than many other economies.
There are risks of course in both directions. And the economic data coupled with the decisions of the RBA Board over coming months will give us a better sense of the balance of these risks.
Our full suite of economic forecasts will be in the Weekly Perspective today.
submitted by je_veux_sentir to AusFinance [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 02:28 Candid_Ad2984 chance me at NJIT and possibly rutgers

Demographics: asian and Caribbean
Low income, Instate
Hooks: first gen student (mom is single mother if that counts and no dad in picture)
Uw: 3.7 W: idk
Tests: Test optional
Trend upwards (freshman year was horrendous)
Senior workload:
JROTC AP psychology Ap physics Ap lit Ap comp gov Calc honors
JROTC Superior Cadet Councilor award for community service 10&11th grade honor roll Ec’s:
Cooking Family responsibilities(taking care of grandma) Aviation club (Vice President) Jrotc(Class Leader) 200+ Community Service hours Invent2Prevent( project where we find a issue in the community and work to solve it with a thousand dollar budget but I was lead speaker ) police cadets
submitted by Candid_Ad2984 to chanceme [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 02:12 Bitter_Nothing3651 What can I do for my grandmother who has $5000 to her name and is SO reluctant that holding onto cash is the only way..?

My grandmother is in her early 70s. She's had a rather tragic life and focused on surviving and raising my mom alone, so she's never been financially literate.
My mom and I care for her regarding groceries, essential items, transportation, etc. She lives in senior housing, where she pays around $400, covered by $600 in social security retirement she receives monthly.
Things are.. tight for all of us right now - we've always been in the low-middle class, and though I try to support as much as I can, I plan to have a kid and a family relatively soon.
My grandmother raised me, and I won't let her fend for herself, but when I was finally discussing future plans with her, I found she has $5000 to her name and no other retirement plan lined up.
At first, I wanted to put the money in my savings and at least have some interest accrue on her behalf, but she is adamant that she needs to hold onto her cash..
She does receive Medicare, and having an investment in her name will actually hurt her, but I'm not sure whether letting her money just sit there is better than at least putting it into savings.. Any advice on this? Is it better to hold onto cash now because of what's going on economically?
submitted by Bitter_Nothing3651 to personalfinance [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 02:10 SameDimension7558 Should I ask her out? (longer post)

Hello there! I am writing this because I'm unsure if it's the right move. I am a somewhat introverted person and despite being in my thirties, I am also kind of inexperienced for my age I suppose.
End of last year I moved into a high-rise residence (not the posh kind, it's low income housing). I am generally nice to people that live in my building, as in greeting them when we meet at the elevator or outside and smiling. Sometimes I take a walk around the block.
One of the residents is a slightly younger (26) than me woman who owns a dog. I greeted her the same as everyone else. She is generally a polite and friendly person (same as me). Shortly after New Years we met by chance and I wished her a Happy New Year. She wished me the same and I mentioned I already had my first setback (didn't get a certain job I was applying for). She inquired what happened and we walked together to our building. After that I accompanied her a couple times while walking her dog when we walked into each other. When we meet by accident she usually gets a bright smile on her face.
I mentioned several times that it sucks we don't see each other often and she offered to exchange phone numbers so we can meet and walk the dog together.
We have many similarities and talked about various topics. But it never got into flirting territory. I sometimes (naturally, it wasn't a "move") placed my hand on her arm or her back while talking. She didn't recoil but also did not reciprocate in those instances. Once when I said I'm watching what I'm eating because summer is around the corner she said that I'm good looking. Or that I'm a very accommodating person but that's really as far as it got.
We don't text a lot, only to meet up and take a walk with the dog. I initiate texts almost exclusively. Once I wished her well for a project and I got an "awww, thanks" text. I read that this is not a good sign in a romantic context (but maybe I read too much into it?).
Twice she forgot that we were supposed to meet up. Once was when the weather was bad and she suggested to meet the next day but forgot (so within a day), she later didn't really apologize but said she's kind of a forgetful person and several of her friends complain about that trait. Which I believe but it also means I am apparently not a high priority.
We never talked about our present or past dating life.
Over the last weeks I developed feelings and out of curiosity looked up her social media. She has a #hotgirlsummer approaching post where she states she's a certified lover girl at heart, waiting for her princess treatment. Which I take for her being single (correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not much into # trends).
This week when we met up she told me she's moving in with her cousin for a week. Initially she only said she's moving in with her cousin and suddenly my heart dropped. That's when I realized I have developed a serious crush and the prospect of her leaving my life made me feel almost devastated.
We kept it friendly thus far and since we live in the same building, it could get awkward real fast if she takes me asking her out as creepy.
Thanks for reading this far. I hope this doesn't seem like a silly question to ask but like I wrote initially I'm quite the introvert and inexperienced. Do you think it's worth a shot to ask her out with the information provided or should I try to let the crush fade because all signs indicate hard friend/acquaintance zone?
submitted by SameDimension7558 to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 02:02 HorseWithNoUsername1 Are you an investor owner or an invested owner?

I've rented from both types. Which one are you?
The investor owner uses the property solely as an income stream. Furnishings and finishes are typically low grade / low quality. They have endless rules, higher cleaning fees, communication is usually one or two word responses. There are always 'attention to detail issues' and minor maintenance issues that get overlooked time and time again. When you leave a less than stellar review - they get all defensive and act like victims in their responses ("One towel is enough for 4 people to share for a week - I'm running a business here!" or "I don't understand how that 4" thick mattress could be uncomfortable - I bought it brand new 7 years ago and one person loved it!").
The invested owner typically lists the property when they're away for 6 months (i.e., snow birds, etc...), it's a 2nd home used for vacations, or because they have a guesthouse or accessory dwelling unit on their property. It could also be a 100% income stream for them, i.e. - they bought the house next door to rent out and they treat it as their own as they don't have to go out of their way to keep it maintained to high standards. They tend to be friendlier, have a 'my home is your home' attitude, furniture/finishes are higher quality, pay more attention to details and are quick to respond and resolve issues.
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2023.06.09 01:54 explodein321 Not sure how to feel after learning that my girlfriend had sex for money right before we got together (tried posting to r/relationships but mods said it was too spicy)

I [41M] met my [34F] girlfriend online in December of 2020. We had both come out of longish relationships earlier in the same year. I continued to see other people for the first month or so, but we became exclusive in spring 2021. She was somewhat occupationally challenged and hadn't really ever had a professional job. She had also moved out of her 10 year boyfriend's house after breaking up with him (about 10 months before I met her). She has a bad habit of prioritizing others over her own well-being and had really put her life on hold in order to act as a mom to her niece while her (former teen mom) ambitious sister went to school and climbed the corporate ladder, as well as trying to save her needy, depressed, alcoholic ex-bf for those 10 years. She graduated with a bachelor's in her late 20s but for reasons mentioned above, as well as a lack of self-confidence, she didn't really break out of the service industry until being laid off in early COVID. When I met her, she hadn't had any income except unemployment for the better part of a year and was staying with relatives, paying a low but still substantial rent, although she was looking for a room to rent of her own.
I was in a really lonely place after my big breakup in early COVID and running a struggling but promising business basically solo and we hit it off really well, with a lot of affection and extremely good physical chemistry. She moved into her own place within a few weeks of us starting to date and we've been pretty close since, in a very gender-roled way: she came to work at my (at that time) small company and has stayed around since, becoming a key employee as we've grown much more successful and doing a pretty good job.
I pay for pretty much everything for her outside of rent of her place and although I don't live large, we do go on nice vacations, etc. She also looks to me to direct her on many things, like finances and other "grown-up" stuff. I've often felt kind of uncomfortable with the imbalance of power in our relationship, after dating more career-oriented and self-directed women in the past, but I'm still in an entrepreneurial/workaholic mode and it's really nice to see someone so sweet, pretty, and comforting at the end of the day who just wants to take care of me. Sometimes it feels like she wants to be like a geisha for me, massaging, cooking, and extremely sexually open (as in up for anything) and submissive (which is more her thing than mine). She has been an incredibly devoted girlfriend and does everything she can to please me.
I'm a pretty easy-going guy when it comes to sex stuff and never ask any questions about a woman's sexual past, except about STI/birth control related things -- I figure that it's her business unless she wants to tell me.
Anyway, to the point, we took some MDMA on a night earlier this weekend and had an extremely intimate night, she confessed that she loved me and I replied that I also loved her. She said she also really hoped to marry me. We wound up getting pretty physical, having 6-8 hours of alternate snuggling and various kinds of sex. I'll admit that i have little bit of an arousal talking to girlfriends about our sexual pasts and I kind of got this conversation going while we were playing around, by asking her some leading questions, but I didn't expect it to go where it did.
She told me that, in the month before meeting me, she was extremely financially strained after her breakup and job-loss, and her sister (who is married to a very wealthy guy now) suggested that, since hadn't been with any other guys for a decade and needed to have some fun and easily passes for 10 years younger than she is, she date a "sugar daddy" type to help out with things while she got back onto her feet. She went with this idea, creating a profile on a sugar daddy / sugar baby app, and wound up giving her treatment (bath, massage, and sex) to two older guys she met that way. She said that the whole experience made her feel bad and described it as "selling her body", which is I guess what it is. She made it sound as if they were both one-offs, but I didn't pry much and don't know. She did say that she didn't enjoy the actual sex and used condoms. To me, it didn't sound like dating a rich guy and more like straight-up prostitution. She said it was the income from these encounters that had kept her afloat and able to start searching for her own apartment. After the second one, she decided not to do it again. She never interacted with the sugar daddy site after her second "date", which she said was really uncomfortable. She said she never told anyone else about it (not even her sister, who'd suggested it) until that night with me. This happened a couple weeks before we finally met in person and hit it off (we wound up having sex on our third date, in her first night at her new apartment that was paid for with sex). I was really careful not to give any kind of negative impression to her but I'll admit that it's been lingering on my mind.
I have a pretty extensive sexual past, having been a bit of "player" in a few periods in my 20s and 30s, but I've never explicitly paid for sex and have been a bit judgy of guys I know who have. A lot of this is probably ego (like, in a "why would I ever pay? that's for losers" way) tbh. I've also never had any woman ever told me that she's been a literal prostitute but I did have a fling with stripper I met when she was not at work (although my longest ex-gf told me that she had considered being a rich man's mistress at a point in grad school but didn't want to ever tell her future husband about it so decided not to). I don't consider myself prudish at all and totally support all sex workers, in theory, but in practice, I do feel a bit of "ick".
We haven't talked about this since monday night / tuesday morning when we had the experience, and I can't really put my finger on it, but I guess the somewhat transactional/traditional nature of our relationship (she treats me royally when we're home and I, directly or indirectly, fund her entire existence), combined with the fact that she has explicitly made this exchange in the past, makes me a little uncomfortable. I do love her, sometimes in more of taking-caring-of-her kind of way, but am not sure whether I want her to be my wife. She seems completely and hopelessly devoted to me. I'm completely confident in her honesty in everything she's ever told me, as well, as I don't think she has an ounce of guile in her.
Sometimes I do wonder how much my strong income potential (which has really started to play out over the time we've been together) has factored into things. She comes from a family of refugee immigrants (although she and sister are both natural born US citizens) and I think their mom must have raised them to think of their looks and sexuality as assets (they're both extremely attractive women) to be used in order to get by and get ahead by snagging a good provider. I should mention that, although it's implicitly understood that I pay for meals, flights, hotels, etc. (which has been the norm with most women I've dated, most of whom I have been significantly wealthier than) she has never asked me for money or expensive gifts -- in fact, she's actively opposed going to very expensive places.

Can anyone help me understand ways to think about this? I really care about my girlfriend and don't want to hold this against her, even subconsciously.

tl;dr: Did MDMA with my girlfriend, got into talking about our sexual pasts and she told me that she had done sex work to cover her bills briefly, but didn't like it, in the few weeks before meeting me. She has been nothing but great as a girlfriend since, but I am not sure how to feel now, especially since we have a pretty financially uneven relationship after a couple years.
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2023.06.09 01:41 RelationshipSad5049 Any help getting me to my family will be appreciated

I don't know exactly what I'm asking for or if you can even help me. So, I'm going to tell my story, and go from there. I need help with A uhaul Fuel 1st months rent Deposit.
 My mom, sister and her husband live in W#$@$÷<%k Georgia. My two children; a 22 yr old low functioning autistic son and 13 yr old daughter, and I live in a small town in kentucky. In March of 2019 I was hurt at work and as a result got a serious brain injury which caused memory problems, cognitive disfunction, face blindness, autonomic dysfunction, frontal lobe seizures, personality changes, headaches and a bunch of other stuff. It's been a long hard road.my memory is 1 month long so I journal every day. Keep every text email receipt. I had been with my partner since before my accident. I counted on him to be my "memory" I trusted him, what he said. I had gotten to where I had decided it would be best for my children, for him, for the only three people left in my life, my mom, sister and him, if I pursued PAS. He was the only one who cared about me, whether I lived or died....... everyone else had left. In April he started saying my mom and sister were using me. I can tell you this because I went back and read 4 years of journals, texts, emails, receipts and bank records. now I have a cliff notes version of everything he has done that I read every day so I don't forget. 
For 4 years he had been changing my reality. Using my memory issues to mess with me. For 4 years he has been convincing me it was better for everyone if I were dead. For 4 yrs he has been alienating me from everyone I know. He emptied my bank account of my workers comp settlement that was supposed to pay my medical bills and living expenses. For 4 years He physically and verbally abused my children and I. The house I live in. I thought was in my name. It's not.
 There is a KSP, APS, bank and commonwealth attorney general investigation going on. But I am stuck in F@%?> My cash app is $dtasker68 My PayPal is @ttbn
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