Dr terrance newton motorcycle accident
Riding Without Protection: The Dangers of Motorcycle Accidents
2023.05.28 17:57 pacificinjurylawfirm Riding Without Protection: The Dangers of Motorcycle Accidents
Title: Riding Without Protection: The Dangers of Motorcycle Accidents
Hey Reddit community, as an attorney at Pacific Injury Law Firm in Portland, Oregon, I wanted to share some alarming statistics with you regarding motorcycle accidents. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), over 5,000 motorcyclists were killed in crashes in 2020 alone. This is a major public health concern that affects thousands of individuals and families each year.
One major factor contributing to these accidents is the lack of protective barriers between riders and the road. Motorcycles simply do not have enclosing structures, seat belts, or airbags like cars and trucks do. This leaves riders more vulnerable to injuries when involved in a crash.
Head injuries are one of the most common types of injuries suffered by motorcyclists. In 2020, over 1,500 motorcyclists were killed in crashes involving a head injury—accounting for almost 60% of all motorcycle fatalities. Other common injuries include road rash (abrasions from contact with pavement), back and spinal cord injuries—over 1,000 fatalities were recorded last year due to these injuries.
Alcohol and drug use also play a significant role in motorcycle accident rates; NHTSA data shows that 28% of motorcyclists killed in crashes had blood alcohol concentrations above the legal limit.
To address this issue effectively, helmets are considered one of the most effective interventions available. In fact, helmets saved over 800 lives in 2020 alone! Furthermore, they reduce head injury risk by up to an astonishing 37%.
Increasing public awareness about motorcycle riding risks is another important step towards reducing accident rates; educating people on helmet use and other protective gear while dispelling misinformation on alcohol/drug use while riding can lead us towards safer roads for everyone!
If you're interested in learning more about this topic or need assistance after being involved in a motorcycle accident, you can reach us at (971) 277-3811 or visit our website: https://pacificinjurylawfirm.com
Feel free to read our blog post on this topic here: https://pacificinjurylawfirm.com/blog/riding-without-protection-the-dangers-of-motorcycle-accidents
Stay safe out there. #PacificInjuryLawFirm
submitted by pacificinjurylawfirm to u/pacificinjurylawfirm [link] [comments]
Hey Reddit community, as an attorney at Pacific Injury Law Firm in Portland, Oregon, I wanted to share some alarming statistics with you regarding motorcycle accidents. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), over 5,000 motorcyclists were killed in crashes in 2020 alone. This is a major public health concern that affects thousands of individuals and families each year.
One major factor contributing to these accidents is the lack of protective barriers between riders and the road. Motorcycles simply do not have enclosing structures, seat belts, or airbags like cars and trucks do. This leaves riders more vulnerable to injuries when involved in a crash.
Head injuries are one of the most common types of injuries suffered by motorcyclists. In 2020, over 1,500 motorcyclists were killed in crashes involving a head injury—accounting for almost 60% of all motorcycle fatalities. Other common injuries include road rash (abrasions from contact with pavement), back and spinal cord injuries—over 1,000 fatalities were recorded last year due to these injuries.
Alcohol and drug use also play a significant role in motorcycle accident rates; NHTSA data shows that 28% of motorcyclists killed in crashes had blood alcohol concentrations above the legal limit.
To address this issue effectively, helmets are considered one of the most effective interventions available. In fact, helmets saved over 800 lives in 2020 alone! Furthermore, they reduce head injury risk by up to an astonishing 37%.
Increasing public awareness about motorcycle riding risks is another important step towards reducing accident rates; educating people on helmet use and other protective gear while dispelling misinformation on alcohol/drug use while riding can lead us towards safer roads for everyone!
If you're interested in learning more about this topic or need assistance after being involved in a motorcycle accident, you can reach us at (971) 277-3811 or visit our website: https://pacificinjurylawfirm.com
Feel free to read our blog post on this topic here: https://pacificinjurylawfirm.com/blog/riding-without-protection-the-dangers-of-motorcycle-accidents
Stay safe out there. #PacificInjuryLawFirm
2023.05.28 17:49 SchlesingerMindy323 [HIRING] 25 Jobs in IA Hiring Now!
2023.05.28 17:46 Proper_Strain6173 new to custom zombies (dont mind shane in the screen)
 | submitted by Proper_Strain6173 to blackops3 [link] [comments] |
2023.05.28 17:27 Justamessywritergirl What requests could Zariel make from her warlock in a campaign that is not combat-heavy?
One of my PCs is a tiefling warlock with Zariel as a patron. He chose specifically Zariel because she was tied to his infernal descent.
A bit of backstory: Damakos was the captain of a pirate ship and was badly injured during a gruesome fight against another pirate crew. He lost his right hand and left arm. He remembered that one of his relatives (his mother’s cousin) had a similar accident and was able to regain full health by making a pact with Zariel. So, Damakos made a pact with Zariel, too: she restored his missing limbs and he pledged loyalty to her, becoming a warlock.
I looked for information about Zariel, but the same things seem to come up over and over again: war, violence, obsessed with battle and slaying her enemies. Not much else.
I had Zariel communicate with Damakos and ask him for sacrifices in her honor (in fact, it didn’t end well for Agdon and his brigands)… but is there something else that she could ask for?
I’d like for my warlock to feel the connection with his patron, but the patron’s request can’t always be “slay some creatures”. Especially in this campaign that is not necessarily combat-heavy and with a group like mine, that likes to focus more on roleplaying.
Thank you!
TL,DR: what can Zariel ask of a warlock other that slaying people? It gets boring after a while.
submitted by Justamessywritergirl to wildbeyondwitchlight [link] [comments]
A bit of backstory: Damakos was the captain of a pirate ship and was badly injured during a gruesome fight against another pirate crew. He lost his right hand and left arm. He remembered that one of his relatives (his mother’s cousin) had a similar accident and was able to regain full health by making a pact with Zariel. So, Damakos made a pact with Zariel, too: she restored his missing limbs and he pledged loyalty to her, becoming a warlock.
I looked for information about Zariel, but the same things seem to come up over and over again: war, violence, obsessed with battle and slaying her enemies. Not much else.
I had Zariel communicate with Damakos and ask him for sacrifices in her honor (in fact, it didn’t end well for Agdon and his brigands)… but is there something else that she could ask for?
I’d like for my warlock to feel the connection with his patron, but the patron’s request can’t always be “slay some creatures”. Especially in this campaign that is not necessarily combat-heavy and with a group like mine, that likes to focus more on roleplaying.
Thank you!
TL,DR: what can Zariel ask of a warlock other that slaying people? It gets boring after a while.
2023.05.28 16:52 themanthatrambles Yes I wrote a book and most likely it doesn't have a point so if your bored have at it!
As I get ready to start my day on this wonderful Sunday. I’m heading to work because someone called out to cover a shift. My wife is getting ready for work as well, which is usual because when you run your own small business it’s just as hard finding people to work and she had someone call out too. I’m not going to sit here and complain and bitch because of the state of the economy it’s just fcked up. Everyone wants to restructure and make things easier and employ people to do things on their own or be simplified by a machine. That’s just the way the world is, just wishing I knew where the damn work ethic went. News flash people are lazy and now before anyone goes on their empowered bitch session calling out whatever they can or making justifications. Here is the reality you have great workers, good workers, ok workers, bad workers and people that just don’t give a shit. I’m not coming on here to bitch and complain but to tell a story and a true one at that. I will ramble on, and people will bitch about that too! Anyways on to my story and for the record I’m aware this is too long and only like 1% will read it fully and to you good old VZ maybe one day but this is even beyond you, but you played a big part. I wish whole heartedly this business would change, and customers would change, and the world would change, cause for fcks sake people need to freaking hug each other. Also, for the record I’m generally just an honest hard-working dude that gives a shit about everyone around me and my heart bleeds through my sleeves. I have done my best to just show people there are just good people out there!
So anyways here’s my damn story and my frustrations which overflowed yesterday and to start this story let’s start with some changes and effects. The easiest way is to start this script for a shitty movie because I can’t shut my trap. Anyways I was talking to an employee a few weeks ago that has been in this industry for a lot longer than me for the record. I would say they are from the bag phone age. I started 18 years ago selling flip phones with no color and every phone had a different charging port. I have always been a fixer and if you have been in this industry and have grown with it and you have a general understanding people will come to you for help. Now I encourage people to ask me questions and for help there is no better feeling than taking care of a customer or employee that is a little lost and being selfless about it. Just for example a customer came in recently that lost her son 3 years ago. She had a voicemail saved and didn’t want to lose it. I assured her that I got her covered. A long time ago before this wonderful age of tech. The solution here was to hook up a mini tape recorder, play the voicemail, and record it on the tape. For all you young pups it’s those square things with brown film running through it. So, I showed her how to email the voicemail and then helped her save it to the cloud. I completed both and played the message, I comforted her knowing as we go through this process, she’s going to get emotional. I didn’t try to sell her anything, my goal was simply for her to know that no matter what happens to her phone or her service that she can hear her son’s voice and she won’t lose it. Now for all you uneducated sales people sometimes it’s not all about making money, but it will result in money. Here is the fact and I guess the moral of the story. While I didn’t make a cent today, I made a feeling for someone. I showed that I cared and took care of them. Now when they go into a store or call customer service for something, and they don’t get treated right or someone somewhere bitches about there cell phone service to this nice lady she is going to mention the nice gentleman and what store he’s at. So, say what you want but that’s a strong lead in my book. Anyways off this exit and back on the road. This employee knows I will help figure out the issues and since we lost our account managers our direct connection to the good Old VZ was cut, that the days of fixing the issues are limited. I had to tell them that are days of going above beyond are ending and there are going to be situations where we just can’t do anything. Mind you this isn’t because it is not possible or that it’s the wrong thing to do. It’s because the person on the other end of the phone these days is comparable to having a toddler come up with a business plan for a fortune 500 company and it work flawlessly. This isn’t the CS reps that have been around and know the system and care about people. This is Jake that has you repeat yourself ten times over while he’s talking to bobby and frank trying to figure out what the hell they are doing. For the record, outsourced names have been withheld because they get to choose it on their first day of work in outsourcing. When I informed this employee of CS outsourcing more, well it was the same look my mom gave me when I came home one night with my ear pierced and bleach blond hair.
Now I started with the big old red many moons ago. I was supposed to transfer states with what used to be a fantastic company that was the epicenter of customer service (oddly no longer around) decided that money had a shit ton more value than people and my column in excel got lost. I was supposed to go to that home office in the new state and have a store all set to start at. Yeah lol no one had a clue of who I was, and something got lost along the way. No biggie just 6 years of blood, sweat and tears. So started my 18 yearish journeys indirectly with VZ. Back then you could do well for yourself to start a company and open a VZ store. There were small companies, medium companies and large ones. It was a different world where customer service was king and VZ was the shiznit! Now I’m biased here but sold the beep beep, the Nokia snake game, the sidekick! I had experience with it all. Man was I nervous from what I came from starting from the bottom as an employee coming from being the go-to manager. I could write a top selling book about these 6 years that formed me. Maybe if I get upvoted enough that could be a career path as the masses are typing TL/DDGAS/CRC. Lmao typing that just let me know how my dad felt when we were laughing as he was moving the Nintendo controller trying to move the person on the screen. Oh, that’s just fcking great damn I’m old lol. Anyways I learned that leaders and mind you leaders and managers are too different things folks. I saw selfless caring people that ran a great business and to this day even with all the bullshit treat every customer like family. Seriously don’t people fcking miss that when you walked into a store and got a smile instead of someone looking at you like your wasting their time. Yes, I know I said I wouldn’t bitch anyways back on track. I learned how to make money feel good about yourself and other people recommended you and it just went full circle. So that is how I have tried to run my business. That was the start of my journey which brought me here to make a long ass post that no one will read because I want people to give out more fcking hugs! Lmao!!
The paragraphs are for the one commented I have potential this was the next chapter I appreciate you!! I hope you’re enjoying this one! Anyways off I went and started the same cycle moved to another state and there was a lot more than just Big 5 back then and I had the experience of managing a store and enjoyed what I did. So, I started with another small VZ company and shaped the last 12 years of my career. I have had a blast and I love the company I work for which is one of the Big 5 cause that’s all that exists these days. I was fortunate to be able to continue with the same values and teach and show a bunch of people along the way. The crazy thing is you wouldn’t imagine the things you come across in this industry. I have had people threaten to kill me multiple times, had people throw things, knock over chairs, there have been multiple bathroom accidents on the sales floor, lots and lots of crying, some picketing here and there. I mean just why people. I had someone threaten to try to destroy one of my stores by bashing it online and to everyone he knew. The reason was for a phone he had over the warranty of a year, and he wanted it replaced. Now I kindly told this man what to do and how to handle his situation I also said if you want to bash my store because I am doing everything I can to help you please go ahead. I am confident in my ability to provide service. You know because well I haven’t done anything else, and I truly love what I do, and I wouldn’t leave the industry. I will put up with any bullsh!t and I will do it for that nice lady that just needed someone to care and save her voicemail. Now on to the last paragraph and if you made it this far thank you! I also realize at this point I am just bitching lol.
Anyways here is the thing we are in a service-based industry. If you slowly take the ability of providing service to the service-based industry it makes it super freaking difficult. So here are the realities people need phones, they need stores, they need customer service. It’s not a want or a luxury, there is a shit ton of need. We can’t change any of it, nothing you read or that I wrote will make a difference. So, I guess I’m asking myself was there a point of all of this and thinking of Eminem lyrics of Stan lmao. Did I just do the same thing that I am bitching about a lot of bitching. I guess I do not know what the hell I’m reaching for and joyfully doing it on a public forum lol. So, I guess the point is if you read this long as fucking post there are good people that generally care. Slow the fck down and ne nice try to understand that everyone has sh!t going on. So, if you read this or just scrolled to the bottom cause its to fcking long be a little nicer today cause this post will be seamlessly lost among a bunch of other posts. To you shady reps out there that give the industry the name it is be a little less shady today maybe care a little. As I’m getting judged now lmao for those companies that push your people to be shady… well you probably won’t see this. To big VZ you control it all you squeezed the juice out the lemon. You’re going to and will continue to drink the lemonade. I will continue my journey and ultimately this is how I support my family. I’m going to continue what I do and I’m going to enjoy it. It just sucks that it gets harder and it’s not that it gets harder because it’s harder work. It gets harder because people make harder work to make more money. Have a wonderful day folks! All you great, good, ok workers and the ones that show up thank you. I guess even you shitty people too cause in the end you don’t control that either as long as you show up as well. Peace out said the rambling man!
submitted by themanthatrambles to verizon [link] [comments]
So anyways here’s my damn story and my frustrations which overflowed yesterday and to start this story let’s start with some changes and effects. The easiest way is to start this script for a shitty movie because I can’t shut my trap. Anyways I was talking to an employee a few weeks ago that has been in this industry for a lot longer than me for the record. I would say they are from the bag phone age. I started 18 years ago selling flip phones with no color and every phone had a different charging port. I have always been a fixer and if you have been in this industry and have grown with it and you have a general understanding people will come to you for help. Now I encourage people to ask me questions and for help there is no better feeling than taking care of a customer or employee that is a little lost and being selfless about it. Just for example a customer came in recently that lost her son 3 years ago. She had a voicemail saved and didn’t want to lose it. I assured her that I got her covered. A long time ago before this wonderful age of tech. The solution here was to hook up a mini tape recorder, play the voicemail, and record it on the tape. For all you young pups it’s those square things with brown film running through it. So, I showed her how to email the voicemail and then helped her save it to the cloud. I completed both and played the message, I comforted her knowing as we go through this process, she’s going to get emotional. I didn’t try to sell her anything, my goal was simply for her to know that no matter what happens to her phone or her service that she can hear her son’s voice and she won’t lose it. Now for all you uneducated sales people sometimes it’s not all about making money, but it will result in money. Here is the fact and I guess the moral of the story. While I didn’t make a cent today, I made a feeling for someone. I showed that I cared and took care of them. Now when they go into a store or call customer service for something, and they don’t get treated right or someone somewhere bitches about there cell phone service to this nice lady she is going to mention the nice gentleman and what store he’s at. So, say what you want but that’s a strong lead in my book. Anyways off this exit and back on the road. This employee knows I will help figure out the issues and since we lost our account managers our direct connection to the good Old VZ was cut, that the days of fixing the issues are limited. I had to tell them that are days of going above beyond are ending and there are going to be situations where we just can’t do anything. Mind you this isn’t because it is not possible or that it’s the wrong thing to do. It’s because the person on the other end of the phone these days is comparable to having a toddler come up with a business plan for a fortune 500 company and it work flawlessly. This isn’t the CS reps that have been around and know the system and care about people. This is Jake that has you repeat yourself ten times over while he’s talking to bobby and frank trying to figure out what the hell they are doing. For the record, outsourced names have been withheld because they get to choose it on their first day of work in outsourcing. When I informed this employee of CS outsourcing more, well it was the same look my mom gave me when I came home one night with my ear pierced and bleach blond hair.
Now I started with the big old red many moons ago. I was supposed to transfer states with what used to be a fantastic company that was the epicenter of customer service (oddly no longer around) decided that money had a shit ton more value than people and my column in excel got lost. I was supposed to go to that home office in the new state and have a store all set to start at. Yeah lol no one had a clue of who I was, and something got lost along the way. No biggie just 6 years of blood, sweat and tears. So started my 18 yearish journeys indirectly with VZ. Back then you could do well for yourself to start a company and open a VZ store. There were small companies, medium companies and large ones. It was a different world where customer service was king and VZ was the shiznit! Now I’m biased here but sold the beep beep, the Nokia snake game, the sidekick! I had experience with it all. Man was I nervous from what I came from starting from the bottom as an employee coming from being the go-to manager. I could write a top selling book about these 6 years that formed me. Maybe if I get upvoted enough that could be a career path as the masses are typing TL/DDGAS/CRC. Lmao typing that just let me know how my dad felt when we were laughing as he was moving the Nintendo controller trying to move the person on the screen. Oh, that’s just fcking great damn I’m old lol. Anyways I learned that leaders and mind you leaders and managers are too different things folks. I saw selfless caring people that ran a great business and to this day even with all the bullshit treat every customer like family. Seriously don’t people fcking miss that when you walked into a store and got a smile instead of someone looking at you like your wasting their time. Yes, I know I said I wouldn’t bitch anyways back on track. I learned how to make money feel good about yourself and other people recommended you and it just went full circle. So that is how I have tried to run my business. That was the start of my journey which brought me here to make a long ass post that no one will read because I want people to give out more fcking hugs! Lmao!!
The paragraphs are for the one commented I have potential this was the next chapter I appreciate you!! I hope you’re enjoying this one! Anyways off I went and started the same cycle moved to another state and there was a lot more than just Big 5 back then and I had the experience of managing a store and enjoyed what I did. So, I started with another small VZ company and shaped the last 12 years of my career. I have had a blast and I love the company I work for which is one of the Big 5 cause that’s all that exists these days. I was fortunate to be able to continue with the same values and teach and show a bunch of people along the way. The crazy thing is you wouldn’t imagine the things you come across in this industry. I have had people threaten to kill me multiple times, had people throw things, knock over chairs, there have been multiple bathroom accidents on the sales floor, lots and lots of crying, some picketing here and there. I mean just why people. I had someone threaten to try to destroy one of my stores by bashing it online and to everyone he knew. The reason was for a phone he had over the warranty of a year, and he wanted it replaced. Now I kindly told this man what to do and how to handle his situation I also said if you want to bash my store because I am doing everything I can to help you please go ahead. I am confident in my ability to provide service. You know because well I haven’t done anything else, and I truly love what I do, and I wouldn’t leave the industry. I will put up with any bullsh!t and I will do it for that nice lady that just needed someone to care and save her voicemail. Now on to the last paragraph and if you made it this far thank you! I also realize at this point I am just bitching lol.
Anyways here is the thing we are in a service-based industry. If you slowly take the ability of providing service to the service-based industry it makes it super freaking difficult. So here are the realities people need phones, they need stores, they need customer service. It’s not a want or a luxury, there is a shit ton of need. We can’t change any of it, nothing you read or that I wrote will make a difference. So, I guess I’m asking myself was there a point of all of this and thinking of Eminem lyrics of Stan lmao. Did I just do the same thing that I am bitching about a lot of bitching. I guess I do not know what the hell I’m reaching for and joyfully doing it on a public forum lol. So, I guess the point is if you read this long as fucking post there are good people that generally care. Slow the fck down and ne nice try to understand that everyone has sh!t going on. So, if you read this or just scrolled to the bottom cause its to fcking long be a little nicer today cause this post will be seamlessly lost among a bunch of other posts. To you shady reps out there that give the industry the name it is be a little less shady today maybe care a little. As I’m getting judged now lmao for those companies that push your people to be shady… well you probably won’t see this. To big VZ you control it all you squeezed the juice out the lemon. You’re going to and will continue to drink the lemonade. I will continue my journey and ultimately this is how I support my family. I’m going to continue what I do and I’m going to enjoy it. It just sucks that it gets harder and it’s not that it gets harder because it’s harder work. It gets harder because people make harder work to make more money. Have a wonderful day folks! All you great, good, ok workers and the ones that show up thank you. I guess even you shitty people too cause in the end you don’t control that either as long as you show up as well. Peace out said the rambling man!
2023.05.28 16:48 themanthatrambles Yes I wrote a book and most likely it doesn't have a point so if your bored have at it!
As I get ready to start my day on this wonderful Sunday. I’m heading to work because someone called out to cover a shift. My wife is getting ready for work as well, which is usual because when you run your own small business it’s just as hard finding people to work and she had someone call out too. I’m not going to sit here and complain and bitch because of the state of the economy it’s just fcked up. Everyone wants to restructure and make things easier and employ people to do things on their own or be simplified by a machine. That’s just the way the world is, just wishing I knew where the damn work ethic went. News flash people are lazy and now before anyone goes on their empowered bitch session calling out whatever they can or making justifications. Here is the reality you have great workers, good workers, ok workers, bad workers and people that just don’t give a shit. I’m not coming on here to bitch and complain but to tell a story and a true one at that. I will ramble on, and people will bitch about that too! Anyways on to my story and for the record I’m aware this is too long and only like 1% will read it fully and to you good old VZ maybe one day but this is even beyond you, but you played a big part. I wish whole heartedly this business would change, and customers would change, and the world would change, cause for fcks sake people need to freaking hug each other. Also, for the record I’m generally just an honest hard-working dude that gives a shit about everyone around me and my heart bleeds through my sleeves. I have done my best to just show people there are just good people out there!
So anyways here’s my damn story and my frustrations which overflowed yesterday and to start this story let’s start with some changes and effects. The easiest way is to start this script for a shitty movie because I can’t shut my trap. Anyways I was talking to an employee a few weeks ago that has been in this industry for a lot longer than me for the record. I would say they are from the bag phone age. I started 18 years ago selling flip phones with no color and every phone had a different charging port. I have always been a fixer and if you have been in this industry and have grown with it and you have a general understanding people will come to you for help. Now I encourage people to ask me questions and for help there is no better feeling than taking care of a customer or employee that is a little lost and being selfless about it. Just for example a customer came in recently that lost her son 3 years ago. She had a voicemail saved and didn’t want to lose it. I assured her that I got her covered. A long time ago before this wonderful age of tech. The solution here was to hook up a mini tape recorder, play the voicemail, and record it on the tape. For all you young pups it’s those square things with brown film running through it. So, I showed her how to email the voicemail and then helped her save it to the cloud. I completed both and played the message, I comforted her knowing as we go through this process, she’s going to get emotional. I didn’t try to sell her anything, my goal was simply for her to know that no matter what happens to her phone or her service that she can hear her son’s voice and she won’t lose it. Now for all you uneducated sales people sometimes it’s not all about making money, but it will result in money. Here is the fact and I guess the moral of the story. While I didn’t make a cent today, I made a feeling for someone. I showed that I cared and took care of them. Now when they go into a store or call customer service for something, and they don’t get treated right or someone somewhere bitches about there cell phone service to this nice lady she is going to mention the nice gentleman and what store he’s at. So, say what you want but that’s a strong lead in my book. Anyways off this exit and back on the road. This employee knows I will help figure out the issues and since we lost our account managers our direct connection to the good Old VZ was cut, that the days of fixing the issues are limited. I had to tell them that are days of going above beyond are ending and there are going to be situations where we just can’t do anything. Mind you this isn’t because it is not possible or that it’s the wrong thing to do. It’s because the person on the other end of the phone these days is comparable to having a toddler come up with a business plan for a fortune 500 company and it work flawlessly. This isn’t the CS reps that have been around and know the system and care about people. This is Jake that has you repeat yourself ten times over while he’s talking to bobby and frank trying to figure out what the hell they are doing. For the record, their names have been withheld because they get to choose it on their first day of work in timbucktooooo across the ocean. When I informed this employee of CS outsourcing more, well it was the same look my mom gave me when I came home one night with my ear pierced and bleach blond hair.
Now I started with the big old red many moons ago. I was supposed to transfer states with what used to be a fantastic company that was the epicenter of customer service (oddly no longer around) decided that money had a shit ton more value than people and my column in excel got lost. I was supposed to go to that home office in the new state and have a store all set to start at. Yeah lol no one had a clue of who I was, and something got lost along the way. No biggie just 6 years of blood, sweat and tears. So started my 18 yearish journeys indirectly with VZ. Back then you could do well for yourself to start a company and open a VZ store. There were small companies, medium companies and large ones. It was a different world where customer service was king and VZ was the shiznit! Now I’m biased here but sold the beep beep, the Nokia snake game, the sidekick! I had experience with it all. Man was I nervous from what I came from starting from the bottom as an employee coming from being the go-to manager. I could write a top selling book about these 6 years that formed me. Maybe if I get upvoted enough that could be a career path as the masses are typing TL/DDGAS/CRC. Lmao typing that just let me know how my dad felt when we were laughing as he was moving the Nintendo controller trying to move the person on the screen. Oh, that’s just fcking great damn I’m old lol. Anyways I learned that leaders and mind you leaders and managers are too different things folks. I saw selfless caring people that ran a great business and to this day even with all the bullshit treat every customer like family. Seriously don’t people fcking miss that when you walked into a store and got a smile instead of someone looking at you like your wasting their time. Yes, I know I said I wouldn’t bitch anyways back on track. I learned how to make money feel good about yourself and other people recommended you and it just went full circle. So that is how I have tried to run my business. That was the start of my journey which brought me here to make a long ass post that no one will read because I want people to give out more fcking hugs! Lmao!!
The paragraphs are for the one commented I have potential this was the next chapter I appreciate you!! I hope you’re enjoying this one! Anyways off I went and started the same cycle moved to another state and there was a lot more than just Big 5 back then and I had the experience of managing a store and enjoyed what I did. So, I started with another small VZ company and shaped the last 12 years of my career. I have had a blast and I love the company I work for which is one of the Big 5 cause that’s all that exists these days. I was fortunate to be able to continue with the same values and teach and show a bunch of people along the way. The crazy thing is you wouldn’t imagine the things you come across in this industry. I have had people threaten to kill me multiple times, had people throw things, knock over chairs, there have been multiple bathroom accidents on the sales floor, lots and lots of crying, some picketing here and there. I mean just why people. I had someone threaten to try to destroy one of my stores by bashing it online and to everyone he knew. The reason was for a phone he had over the warranty of a year, and he wanted it replaced. Now I kindly told this man what to do and how to handle his situation I also said if you want to bash my store because I am doing everything I can to help you please go ahead. I am confident in my ability to provide service. You know because well I haven’t done anything else, and I truly love what I do, and I wouldn’t leave the industry. I will put up with any bullsh!t and I will do it for that nice lady that just needed someone to care and save her voicemail. Now on to the last paragraph and if you made it this far thank you! I also realize at this point I am just bitching lol.
Anyways here is the thing we are in a service-based industry. If you slowly take the ability of providing service to the service-based industry it makes it super freaking difficult. So here are the realities people need phones, they need stores, they need customer service. It’s not a want or a luxury, there is a shit ton of need. We can’t change any of it, nothing you read or that I wrote will make a difference. So, I guess I’m asking myself was there a point of all of this and thinking of Eminem lyrics of Stan lmao. Did I just do the same thing that I am bitching about a lot of bitching. I guess I do not know what the hell I’m reaching for and joyfully doing it on a public forum lol. So, I guess the point is if you read this long as fucking post there are good people that generally care. Slow the fck down and ne nice try to understand that everyone has sh!t going on. So, if you read this or just scrolled to the bottom cause its to fcking long be a little nicer today cause this post will be seamlessly lost among a bunch of other posts. To you shady reps out there that give the industry the name it is be a little less shady today maybe care a little. As I’m getting judged now lmao for those companies that push your people to be shady… well you probably won’t see this. To big VZ you control it all you squeezed the juice out the lemon. You’re going to and will continue to drink the lemonade. I will continue my journey and ultimately this is how I support my family. I’m going to continue what I do and I’m going to enjoy it. It just sucks that it gets harder and it’s not that it gets harder because it’s harder work. It gets harder because people make harder work to make more money. Have a wonderful day folks! All you great, good, ok workers and the ones that show up thank you. I guess even you shitty people too cause in the end you don’t control that either as long as you show up as well. Peace out said the rambling man!
submitted by themanthatrambles to verizon [link] [comments]
So anyways here’s my damn story and my frustrations which overflowed yesterday and to start this story let’s start with some changes and effects. The easiest way is to start this script for a shitty movie because I can’t shut my trap. Anyways I was talking to an employee a few weeks ago that has been in this industry for a lot longer than me for the record. I would say they are from the bag phone age. I started 18 years ago selling flip phones with no color and every phone had a different charging port. I have always been a fixer and if you have been in this industry and have grown with it and you have a general understanding people will come to you for help. Now I encourage people to ask me questions and for help there is no better feeling than taking care of a customer or employee that is a little lost and being selfless about it. Just for example a customer came in recently that lost her son 3 years ago. She had a voicemail saved and didn’t want to lose it. I assured her that I got her covered. A long time ago before this wonderful age of tech. The solution here was to hook up a mini tape recorder, play the voicemail, and record it on the tape. For all you young pups it’s those square things with brown film running through it. So, I showed her how to email the voicemail and then helped her save it to the cloud. I completed both and played the message, I comforted her knowing as we go through this process, she’s going to get emotional. I didn’t try to sell her anything, my goal was simply for her to know that no matter what happens to her phone or her service that she can hear her son’s voice and she won’t lose it. Now for all you uneducated sales people sometimes it’s not all about making money, but it will result in money. Here is the fact and I guess the moral of the story. While I didn’t make a cent today, I made a feeling for someone. I showed that I cared and took care of them. Now when they go into a store or call customer service for something, and they don’t get treated right or someone somewhere bitches about there cell phone service to this nice lady she is going to mention the nice gentleman and what store he’s at. So, say what you want but that’s a strong lead in my book. Anyways off this exit and back on the road. This employee knows I will help figure out the issues and since we lost our account managers our direct connection to the good Old VZ was cut, that the days of fixing the issues are limited. I had to tell them that are days of going above beyond are ending and there are going to be situations where we just can’t do anything. Mind you this isn’t because it is not possible or that it’s the wrong thing to do. It’s because the person on the other end of the phone these days is comparable to having a toddler come up with a business plan for a fortune 500 company and it work flawlessly. This isn’t the CS reps that have been around and know the system and care about people. This is Jake that has you repeat yourself ten times over while he’s talking to bobby and frank trying to figure out what the hell they are doing. For the record, their names have been withheld because they get to choose it on their first day of work in timbucktooooo across the ocean. When I informed this employee of CS outsourcing more, well it was the same look my mom gave me when I came home one night with my ear pierced and bleach blond hair.
Now I started with the big old red many moons ago. I was supposed to transfer states with what used to be a fantastic company that was the epicenter of customer service (oddly no longer around) decided that money had a shit ton more value than people and my column in excel got lost. I was supposed to go to that home office in the new state and have a store all set to start at. Yeah lol no one had a clue of who I was, and something got lost along the way. No biggie just 6 years of blood, sweat and tears. So started my 18 yearish journeys indirectly with VZ. Back then you could do well for yourself to start a company and open a VZ store. There were small companies, medium companies and large ones. It was a different world where customer service was king and VZ was the shiznit! Now I’m biased here but sold the beep beep, the Nokia snake game, the sidekick! I had experience with it all. Man was I nervous from what I came from starting from the bottom as an employee coming from being the go-to manager. I could write a top selling book about these 6 years that formed me. Maybe if I get upvoted enough that could be a career path as the masses are typing TL/DDGAS/CRC. Lmao typing that just let me know how my dad felt when we were laughing as he was moving the Nintendo controller trying to move the person on the screen. Oh, that’s just fcking great damn I’m old lol. Anyways I learned that leaders and mind you leaders and managers are too different things folks. I saw selfless caring people that ran a great business and to this day even with all the bullshit treat every customer like family. Seriously don’t people fcking miss that when you walked into a store and got a smile instead of someone looking at you like your wasting their time. Yes, I know I said I wouldn’t bitch anyways back on track. I learned how to make money feel good about yourself and other people recommended you and it just went full circle. So that is how I have tried to run my business. That was the start of my journey which brought me here to make a long ass post that no one will read because I want people to give out more fcking hugs! Lmao!!
The paragraphs are for the one commented I have potential this was the next chapter I appreciate you!! I hope you’re enjoying this one! Anyways off I went and started the same cycle moved to another state and there was a lot more than just Big 5 back then and I had the experience of managing a store and enjoyed what I did. So, I started with another small VZ company and shaped the last 12 years of my career. I have had a blast and I love the company I work for which is one of the Big 5 cause that’s all that exists these days. I was fortunate to be able to continue with the same values and teach and show a bunch of people along the way. The crazy thing is you wouldn’t imagine the things you come across in this industry. I have had people threaten to kill me multiple times, had people throw things, knock over chairs, there have been multiple bathroom accidents on the sales floor, lots and lots of crying, some picketing here and there. I mean just why people. I had someone threaten to try to destroy one of my stores by bashing it online and to everyone he knew. The reason was for a phone he had over the warranty of a year, and he wanted it replaced. Now I kindly told this man what to do and how to handle his situation I also said if you want to bash my store because I am doing everything I can to help you please go ahead. I am confident in my ability to provide service. You know because well I haven’t done anything else, and I truly love what I do, and I wouldn’t leave the industry. I will put up with any bullsh!t and I will do it for that nice lady that just needed someone to care and save her voicemail. Now on to the last paragraph and if you made it this far thank you! I also realize at this point I am just bitching lol.
Anyways here is the thing we are in a service-based industry. If you slowly take the ability of providing service to the service-based industry it makes it super freaking difficult. So here are the realities people need phones, they need stores, they need customer service. It’s not a want or a luxury, there is a shit ton of need. We can’t change any of it, nothing you read or that I wrote will make a difference. So, I guess I’m asking myself was there a point of all of this and thinking of Eminem lyrics of Stan lmao. Did I just do the same thing that I am bitching about a lot of bitching. I guess I do not know what the hell I’m reaching for and joyfully doing it on a public forum lol. So, I guess the point is if you read this long as fucking post there are good people that generally care. Slow the fck down and ne nice try to understand that everyone has sh!t going on. So, if you read this or just scrolled to the bottom cause its to fcking long be a little nicer today cause this post will be seamlessly lost among a bunch of other posts. To you shady reps out there that give the industry the name it is be a little less shady today maybe care a little. As I’m getting judged now lmao for those companies that push your people to be shady… well you probably won’t see this. To big VZ you control it all you squeezed the juice out the lemon. You’re going to and will continue to drink the lemonade. I will continue my journey and ultimately this is how I support my family. I’m going to continue what I do and I’m going to enjoy it. It just sucks that it gets harder and it’s not that it gets harder because it’s harder work. It gets harder because people make harder work to make more money. Have a wonderful day folks! All you great, good, ok workers and the ones that show up thank you. I guess even you shitty people too cause in the end you don’t control that either as long as you show up as well. Peace out said the rambling man!
2023.05.28 16:29 CarlyLewis3 What Happened to Markelle Fultz? American Professional Basketball Player Motorcycle Accident
 | submitted by CarlyLewis3 to Candefrenz [link] [comments] |
2023.05.28 16:26 CarlyLewis3 What Happened to Markelle Fultz? American Professional Basketball Player Motorcycle Accident
| | submitted by CarlyLewis3 to u/CarlyLewis3 [link] [comments] |
2023.05.28 16:18 woefulaircraft82 What Happened to Markelle Fultz? American Professional Basketball Player Motorcycle Accident
| | submitted by woefulaircraft82 to Wannamateer [link] [comments] |
2023.05.28 16:15 woefulaircraft82 What Happened to Markelle Fultz? American Professional Basketball Player Motorcycle Accident
| | submitted by woefulaircraft82 to Weastenbaar [link] [comments] |
2023.05.28 16:12 woefulaircraft82 What Happened to Markelle Fultz? American Professional Basketball Player Motorcycle Accident
| | submitted by woefulaircraft82 to u/woefulaircraft82 [link] [comments] |
2023.05.28 16:11 Earth1048Web-Slinger Totally Spies! (Season 2 Episodes 14-26 Reviews)
2X14 - Stark Raving Mad - 3/5: Nothing too special from this episode, but it’s pretty enjoyable. It was interesting having Sebastian from the first season to come back as the villain of the episode with him getting revenge on the girls by targeting their areas of interests and having teens to trash them. Sebastian making the ravers to go in a rage feels similar to one episode from Samurai Jack. Love Jerry just casually strolling through the halls on a scooter and putting headphones on the girls to knock them out of their trance.
2X15 - Starstruck - 3/5: An interesting episode with one deranged woman getting fiction mixed up with reality. It does feel odd with the actors filming the movie and there was no one looking into one of the actor’s disappearance. It’s so far the one episode where the girls asked to be WOOHPed instead of unexpectedly being WOOHPed.
2X16 - S.P.I. - 5/5: This episode is the most engaging one of the season so far. I like the idea of a rival spy organization created by a WOOHP reject to put WOOHP out of business by staging burglaries and other crimes for them to look good. It does have a sad tone to it when Jerry told the girls that WOOHP would be going out of business because of SPI’s fake efficacy exceeded WOOHP’s actual efficacy and the girls and Jerry are shown to be quite close with each other as they are shown shedding tears about no longer being spies and Jerry probably wouldn’t be seeing them ever again. I did find the ray that shrinks clothes to be a bit too much.
2X17 - Animal World - 3/5: A decently enjoyable episode. The plot was interesting with a scientist named Dr. Fox using a device that administers his DNA into animals and vice versa, animal DNA into humans, to make them more intelligent and cause an uprising against the humans. Frank Welker voicing the gorilla that turned against the scientist was a surprise.
2X18 - Nature Nightmare - 4/5: I like that Clover wanted to tell the recurring character, David, that she is a spy to show him she’s not high maintenance. It feels similar to other cartoon characters where they want to tell someone a secret, but that secret can put them in danger. It feels similar to the previous episode with a scientist experimenting on a forest so that the forest can protect itself from the humans only for the forest to turn against the scientist and targets a city. It was funny with Sam being heartbroken when she learned the reporter she had a crush on is married with children.
2X19 - Alex Quits - 5/5: This episode is one of my favorites with the introduction of Britney and the girls being supportive of Alex as she believes she’s not good in anything whether it be on a mission or in school. Britney was a great addition to the series, it makes me wish she became a main character with how skilled she is and she comes off as easy to like by everyone.
2X20 - Totally Switched - 3/5: A doctor that swaps people’s personalities just because he hates hearing them complain sounds petty. It was funny with Clover and Jerry’s personalities being switched for each other, but it also felt odd when the two of them just leave it to Sam and Alex to stop the doctor from the switching the president’s personality for a rodeo clown’s because Jerry was about to be knighted and Clover had an interview with a pop star on his show. It only worked out for Clover though.
2X21 - Ski Trip - 4/5: Dr. Gelee from the episode, The Iceman Cometh, planning to take revenge on the girls during their ski trip was entertaining. It’s another episode where the girls asked to be WOOHPed instead of being WOOHPed unexpectedly since they had to share the same room with Mandy. Mandy being the hero of the episode as she unintentionally stopped Dr. Gelee by causing an avalanche to fall on him felt odd and it would’ve been nice to see her actually become friends with the girls only for it to not work out in the end.
2X22 - The Elevator - 2/5: I wouldn’t say the episode is bad, it’s just another average episode that is full of clips from past episodes that other cartoons and TV shows have. It does have the girls reminiscing about their adventures so far with how useful their gadgets came to be, the times when their gadgets failed them, the places they’ve been to for their missions, the unexpected times of being WOOHPed, the tough enemies they have fought, the boys Clover thirsted over, critiquing Alex’s driving skills, and how many times Sam pulled through with her brain on their missions.
2X23 - Matchmaker - 1/5: This episode is flavorless and just boring. It’s about as worse as Passion Patties from the first season. The villain of the episode is bitter for being broken up by his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, so he disguises himself as boys to make girls fall in love with and tries to break their hearts by not showing up to a dance. It’s disappointing that this episode is so bad when Clover is the main hero of the episode since Clover doesn’t have many big moments.
2X24 - Brain Drain - 3/5: The episode might have a weak plot with a game show host using his show to act as a cover to drain other people’s intelligence, have it to be put into his partner’s brain, and the episode is a little unbearable to watch with having Sam to be a dunce, but I’d say this episode is fairly decent. It feels similar to the Child’s Play episode of the first season with Clover and Alex having to pull through the mission without Sam since Sam’s intelligence was drained. I did like the dynamic between Clover and Alex in this episode and Clover coming up with the way to escape from the sound proof booth.
2X25 - Fashion Faux Pas - 3/5: I find Sam to be out of character in this episode with her falling for a psychic after dismissing the belief that no one can predict the future since the psychic got lucky with a few predictions, so she wasn’t putting the mission first. It was nice to see Clover and Alex being more focused than Sam during the mission and it was also entertaining with the girls chasing after Helga’s assistant Trode in the night on new motorcycles. Helga’s plan of using clothes from her fashion line to strangle people to death felt quite wicked.
2X26 - Toying Around - 3/5: This was a decent season finale with toys having minds of their own attempting to rule the world. It kind of reminds me of this one movie known as Small Soldiers where toys were experiment with missile technology that made them sentient and violent. I also like how this episode had the first simp ever in media named Randy where he does just about everything for Clover.
submitted by Earth1048Web-Slinger to TotallySpies [link] [comments]
2X15 - Starstruck - 3/5: An interesting episode with one deranged woman getting fiction mixed up with reality. It does feel odd with the actors filming the movie and there was no one looking into one of the actor’s disappearance. It’s so far the one episode where the girls asked to be WOOHPed instead of unexpectedly being WOOHPed.
2X16 - S.P.I. - 5/5: This episode is the most engaging one of the season so far. I like the idea of a rival spy organization created by a WOOHP reject to put WOOHP out of business by staging burglaries and other crimes for them to look good. It does have a sad tone to it when Jerry told the girls that WOOHP would be going out of business because of SPI’s fake efficacy exceeded WOOHP’s actual efficacy and the girls and Jerry are shown to be quite close with each other as they are shown shedding tears about no longer being spies and Jerry probably wouldn’t be seeing them ever again. I did find the ray that shrinks clothes to be a bit too much.
2X17 - Animal World - 3/5: A decently enjoyable episode. The plot was interesting with a scientist named Dr. Fox using a device that administers his DNA into animals and vice versa, animal DNA into humans, to make them more intelligent and cause an uprising against the humans. Frank Welker voicing the gorilla that turned against the scientist was a surprise.
2X18 - Nature Nightmare - 4/5: I like that Clover wanted to tell the recurring character, David, that she is a spy to show him she’s not high maintenance. It feels similar to other cartoon characters where they want to tell someone a secret, but that secret can put them in danger. It feels similar to the previous episode with a scientist experimenting on a forest so that the forest can protect itself from the humans only for the forest to turn against the scientist and targets a city. It was funny with Sam being heartbroken when she learned the reporter she had a crush on is married with children.
2X19 - Alex Quits - 5/5: This episode is one of my favorites with the introduction of Britney and the girls being supportive of Alex as she believes she’s not good in anything whether it be on a mission or in school. Britney was a great addition to the series, it makes me wish she became a main character with how skilled she is and she comes off as easy to like by everyone.
2X20 - Totally Switched - 3/5: A doctor that swaps people’s personalities just because he hates hearing them complain sounds petty. It was funny with Clover and Jerry’s personalities being switched for each other, but it also felt odd when the two of them just leave it to Sam and Alex to stop the doctor from the switching the president’s personality for a rodeo clown’s because Jerry was about to be knighted and Clover had an interview with a pop star on his show. It only worked out for Clover though.
2X21 - Ski Trip - 4/5: Dr. Gelee from the episode, The Iceman Cometh, planning to take revenge on the girls during their ski trip was entertaining. It’s another episode where the girls asked to be WOOHPed instead of being WOOHPed unexpectedly since they had to share the same room with Mandy. Mandy being the hero of the episode as she unintentionally stopped Dr. Gelee by causing an avalanche to fall on him felt odd and it would’ve been nice to see her actually become friends with the girls only for it to not work out in the end.
2X22 - The Elevator - 2/5: I wouldn’t say the episode is bad, it’s just another average episode that is full of clips from past episodes that other cartoons and TV shows have. It does have the girls reminiscing about their adventures so far with how useful their gadgets came to be, the times when their gadgets failed them, the places they’ve been to for their missions, the unexpected times of being WOOHPed, the tough enemies they have fought, the boys Clover thirsted over, critiquing Alex’s driving skills, and how many times Sam pulled through with her brain on their missions.
2X23 - Matchmaker - 1/5: This episode is flavorless and just boring. It’s about as worse as Passion Patties from the first season. The villain of the episode is bitter for being broken up by his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, so he disguises himself as boys to make girls fall in love with and tries to break their hearts by not showing up to a dance. It’s disappointing that this episode is so bad when Clover is the main hero of the episode since Clover doesn’t have many big moments.
2X24 - Brain Drain - 3/5: The episode might have a weak plot with a game show host using his show to act as a cover to drain other people’s intelligence, have it to be put into his partner’s brain, and the episode is a little unbearable to watch with having Sam to be a dunce, but I’d say this episode is fairly decent. It feels similar to the Child’s Play episode of the first season with Clover and Alex having to pull through the mission without Sam since Sam’s intelligence was drained. I did like the dynamic between Clover and Alex in this episode and Clover coming up with the way to escape from the sound proof booth.
2X25 - Fashion Faux Pas - 3/5: I find Sam to be out of character in this episode with her falling for a psychic after dismissing the belief that no one can predict the future since the psychic got lucky with a few predictions, so she wasn’t putting the mission first. It was nice to see Clover and Alex being more focused than Sam during the mission and it was also entertaining with the girls chasing after Helga’s assistant Trode in the night on new motorcycles. Helga’s plan of using clothes from her fashion line to strangle people to death felt quite wicked.
2X26 - Toying Around - 3/5: This was a decent season finale with toys having minds of their own attempting to rule the world. It kind of reminds me of this one movie known as Small Soldiers where toys were experiment with missile technology that made them sentient and violent. I also like how this episode had the first simp ever in media named Randy where he does just about everything for Clover.
2023.05.28 15:21 bobcrossed believe in the afterlife? anecdotes on interacting with spirits?
my aunt recently died from cancer. it was all so quick, diagnosis to death was about three weeks. she’d been having pain for years from a car accident and her dr just loaded her up on opioids so it probably masked the cancer for awhile. the day she goes into the hospital, she’s lost her vision from brain lesions and she calls my mom saying they’re mother is in the room, telling her she has brain cancer and that she’s going to go with her parents. my aunt’s phone calls with my mom featured stories my mom believes my aunt was too young to remember or know. she gets the cancer diagnosis about a week later (in lungs, spread to brain).
the night she died we were sitting around her corpse in her living room before the coroner came to take her. it was cold because they had a fan put in the room for her but for about 20 seconds one of my thighs felt really warm, like someone had been sitting on it like when you come into a classroom to a warm chair (lol). the next day we’re in her house, her corpse is at the funeral home, we’re about to bye to my uncle and cousins before our flight and it feels like someone shoved my purse. no one was around.
i tell my mom and sister about these but they didn’t feel anything odd while at my aunt’s house. it’s weird because they were a lot closer to my aunt than i ever was but i can’t help thinking it was her that i felt. when my grandma died, another aunt claimed the towel in my grandma’s bathroom (the room she died in) kept falling off the hook by itself, and when my dad was in the CCU a few years ago he’d been saying that all his friends were dying but he had a choice (drs didn’t think he’d live, two of his best friends had died within the three years prior). i want to believe in any afterlife but the theory that’s there’s nothing seems more plausible to me, however, stories like these always get me thinking there’s something after this…
submitted by bobcrossed to redscarepod [link] [comments]
the night she died we were sitting around her corpse in her living room before the coroner came to take her. it was cold because they had a fan put in the room for her but for about 20 seconds one of my thighs felt really warm, like someone had been sitting on it like when you come into a classroom to a warm chair (lol). the next day we’re in her house, her corpse is at the funeral home, we’re about to bye to my uncle and cousins before our flight and it feels like someone shoved my purse. no one was around.
i tell my mom and sister about these but they didn’t feel anything odd while at my aunt’s house. it’s weird because they were a lot closer to my aunt than i ever was but i can’t help thinking it was her that i felt. when my grandma died, another aunt claimed the towel in my grandma’s bathroom (the room she died in) kept falling off the hook by itself, and when my dad was in the CCU a few years ago he’d been saying that all his friends were dying but he had a choice (drs didn’t think he’d live, two of his best friends had died within the three years prior). i want to believe in any afterlife but the theory that’s there’s nothing seems more plausible to me, however, stories like these always get me thinking there’s something after this…
2023.05.28 15:01 KooKooKangaRoo42 My Chiari Surgery Experience
Hi there,
Just sharing my Chiari Surgery experience for anyone who is thinking about getting it done and wanting to hear about people's experiences/recovery.
I (43 f) just had my Chiari Decompression Surgery with duroplasty and C1 laminectomy at Weill Cornell with Dr Stieg in NYC on Wed 5/24 and was discharged home this AM (Sat 5/27). They were actually ready to discharge me on Fri 5/26 even — but because I live so far (5 hrs) from the specialty center, I felt more comfortable staying one more night, which they were fine with.
For background, I was just diagnosed with Chiari I.5 malformation (13 mm cerebellar tonsillar descent, with the obex or bottom of medulla being squished down there even lower) on MRI on 5/5/23. (No syrinx in the spine, though, fortunately.) I am so glad the neurosurgeon got me in so fast. Doctors including my neurologist had been blowing off my increasing symptoms for the past 5 years. (“Oh, it’s probably just migraines — oh, it’s probably just cluster headaches — oh it’s probably just neck strain.”) So frustrating! But once I got the MRI showing the Chiari, I just took the initiative to find a neurosurgeon to consult with. And Dr. Stieg’s team was very good about getting me in quickly. He did a full brain and spine MRI, with and without contrast, and consultation with me within 2 weeks of my reaching out to his team. I could already tell within 1-2 days post surgery that essentially all my major problems had been resolved (though of course there’s a lot of neck stiffness and soreness from the surgery itself, but it’s already so much better just 3 days post-surgery).
I had problems since at least 2018 including: Chiari headaches (excruciating, incapacitating collapsing to the floor moaning with my head in my hands headaches, triggered initially by coughing episodes — but then progressively over time even by just standing up too fast, yelling for the kids, bending or tilting my head wrong, by the end even sitting up or turning over in bed by the end). Also terrible chronic neck pain RIGHT at the base of my skull (that I thought had been caused/worsened by car accident whiplash, but now I think 100% caused by the Chiari -- since it seems to have pretty much resolved since the surgery). And also increasingly weird neurological symptoms due to the compression of the brain stem, including: trouble swallowing (seemed like I accidentally choke liquid down the wrong tube every single day when I took a drink), excessive drooling, numb/weak hands/clumsy hands, poor balance/coordination (walking into walks, trips/falls going up and down stairs, a few faint episodes), excessive yawning, and hands(not just a little — like shaking violently after every yawn or sneeze).
My surgery was at 7:30 AM. I had to show up at 5:45 so they could get me checked in and everything. The neurosurgeon and anaesthesiologist were very good about explaining what would be happening and answering any questions I had. They took special care talking about my anaesthesia (because in my case a sleep study had shown that the Chiari puts pressure on my brain stem, and has caused me to have central sleep apnea — different from obstructive apnea. It’s the brain signals telling my lungs to breathe don’t always get through at night. So that is part of why I’m always waking up in the middle of the night and still feeling tired in the morning.) So concerns about that were thoroughly discussed and they would use a CPAP mask to help with my breathing if needed. They still went with Methadone as IV painkiller as planned. The surgery took about 3 & 1/2 hours. (They told me 2-3, so pretty close). They will put your IV in of course and give you something to relax you and put you to sleep and you won’t remember anything afterward except them telling you the surgery is all done and it’s time to wake up.
I’m not going to lie, there was some pain obviously. But for me, it was manageable —never more than a 6-7, and with the Oxycodone and Tylenol they gave me, got me down to a 3 (on a 10-point pain scale) pretty fast. For the day of the surgery they had me on 10 mg Oxycodone dose immediately afterward, tapering down to 5 mg. I had some nausea the first day after surgery too, which the anaesthesia and pain meds can cause, I guess. But they gave me something for it whenever I complained and whatever they gave me worked quickly. The steroids for swelling also tend to cause some side effects -- high blood sugar, which they did finger pricks to check and which were always a little high -- though they didn't end up having to give me any insulin. And heartburn, which they gave me protonix for every morning. And Maalox once, when I complained about it still bothering me
They actually tapered me just the day after surgery down from Oxycodone to just regular Tylenol and muscle relaxant every 8 hours — but would check in with me regularly about pain of course and offer Oxycodone as needed or if it got worse. I did take just ONE more dose of Oxycodone that next night, the day after surgery — I think it’s my own fault for doing a little too much walking and self-directed P/T (trying to turn my neck a bit side to side to loosen the stiffness) that first day. So maybe give it a few days before you do much active attempt to turn/stretch the neck. (Don’t be a hero by trying to taper too soon — the one extra dose of Oxycodone I asked for that night provided me a lot of relief and allowed me a good night of sleep and was feeling much better the next morning and able to taper to Tylenol without a problem.)
But by two days post-surgery, I was doing really well and managing with just 3 Tylenol and 1/2 muscle relaxant every 8 hrs. Steroids too to keep down the swelling every 6 hours. The recovery has really been so good so far from what I had feared. Not so bad at all. They did give me some Oxycodone I can have at home if pain flares up again, but I don’t think I’ll need it.
Literally, as soon as I woke up from surgery, my very first sip of juice that I had, I realized I could swallow again without choking. By the day after surgery, the numbness in my hands had mostly abated. (That one I was worried about, because I know sometimes if nerve damage goes on too long it can be permanent so I thought the numbness and hand weakness might not resolve). I could sit/stand/turn over in bed etc without triggering the usual Chiari headaches. Some other symptoms that I didn’t even KNOW were related to my Chiari (a nagging constant earache in my left ear that my GP just always told me there was nothing wrong when she looked in there — miraculously also gone! Must have been due to blocked CSF or something).
I am already so happy I had this surgery done, even though my husband was nervous about it happening so quickly. I’d been suffering for 5 years already, with it impinging a lot on my quality of life, ability to play with or carry my own kids, and neurological symptoms can get worse over time, so as surgeon said — now that you know the diagnosis and likely solution, what are you waiting for?I do realize that everyone’s story is different and I am quite lucky that (so far) everything has gone according to plan, with such rapid and obvious symptom relief for me, incision healing seeming to go so well, etc — so bear in mind everyone’s situation and recovery is different and consult closely with your professionals. This is just my own story. But I had a *very* good experience and would definitely recommend the Chiari surgery to anyone who was suffering the level of symptoms that I was having.
I will second the recommendations others have made about taking stool softeners (and laxatives or suppositories if needed to get things going) in your first few days post-surgery. I am very sensitive to the constipating effects of opiates like Oxycodone (I went 8 days without pooping after my C-Section — by which time it was very tough and painful, as you can imagine). So although they were giving me stool softeners — Senna, and Miralax every day — when I still hadn’t gone for 3 days, I asked for prune juice, and when that didn’t work, and I was still straining and having trouble passing, I requested Milk of Magnesia. It gave me unpleasant stomach cramping for a few hours, but was worth it to me, because it got the job done so I was all cleared out by the time I left the hospital, which was important to me. Given all the warnings they give you about not straining on the toilet because it can increase CSF pressure in the head and potentially cause your dura patch to leak.
I showered for the first time the morning of my discharge (3 days post surgery). My surgeon said ok to shower, but don’t submerge — no pools, hot tubs, etc as that can increase risk of incision infection. No rubbing any lotions or oils back there, though bacitracin or neosporin to put on with sterile gloves/hands is ok if incision is itchy. They removed the bandage 2 days after my surgery and said everything looked beautiful. (I can PM you a picture of the shave line and incision if you what it looked like immediately after they removed the bandage. You can’t even notice the incision or that they shaved any of my hair when my hair is down. They tell me it is healing beautifully. My 5-year-old says it looks "soooo cool!" 😂)
Just a note, following surgery, that first day I found it more comfortable to rest on my side than my back because the neck incision pain hurt too much while on my back. But by 1-2 days after surgery, lying on my back with head elevated was fine. I second the recommendation for buying a wedge pillow in advance of your arrival home. (I didn’t know how helpful that elevating/reclining hospital bed pillow was until it was gone!) Right now I’m stacking pillows, but I think a wedge would have worked better.
They told me no bending, lifting, twisting - don’t carry anything bigger than a gallon of milk for 6 weeks. If you drop something and do need to pick it up, bend at the knees. No picking up kids (at least, not if the one who wants picking up is 5 years old and 40 lbs, like my youngest!). Avoid driving for 2-4 weeks if you can, both to avoid needless jostling of head from sudden stops , and strain from having to turn your head too much. Do P/T if recommended.
I did have one slightly scary experience during my very early recovery (harmless, apparently, but freaked me out since I had never experienced it before). I had an episode of “vasovagal syncope,” which involves an automatic bodily reaction where your blood pressure and heart rate suddenly drop precipitously. (It happens to some people when they see needles or blood or get stressed or scared — essentially “fainting.” But never happened to me before). Apparently, it is not uncommon to occur after anaesthesia, brain surgery, etc.
So this was on the very day of surgery. Remember my procedure only started at 7:30 AM on Wednesday. But after dinner the same day, around 6:30 pm, they were already encouraging me to try moving to a sit-up chair for a while — with the idea that if that went well, we’d go on to do a little assisted walking (I guess walking as soon as you can helps with recovery time, reduces risk of blood clots, etc). So I sat up in a chair for about 30 minutes, not even standing, just sitting in a chair. And was fine at first. But then my legs started shaking a lot and I started to feel very nauseated. I asked the nurse to get me something for the nausea, afraid I was going to actually throw up, and while she was gone, started feeling even weirder - like flushing hot and cold sensations, sudden sweating. More shaking. Just feeling weird and terrible. My husband said I turned white as a sheet and my lips as white as the rest of my face. My husband got the nurses who helped me lay flat, and neuro came in a minute later to see me and ask what happened. He said what I described was a classic vasovagal syncope reaction - just put some fluids in my IV and had the bed headrest inverted a little (so my head was slightly tipped back — I didn’t like it, because put a little more strain on my neck, but he said just for 5 minutes or so to get the blood back in my head.)
After 30 minutes lying down with my legs up and my head back, I was pretty much back to normal and feeling better. Just a little scary because I didn’t know what was happening and hadn’t experienced it before. And usually I guess people experience it when standing up and walking, not just sitting in chair, so probably took nurses and dr a little by surprise too. But neuro team said it’s not too uncommon after surgery.
I didn’t do any more sitting that night. But next day after lunch, neuro team told me to go ahead and try again — and I had no more problems. Did plenty of sitting, standing, and walking with my husband. They said, by the way, that during your 6 weeks initial recovery, do as much walking as you want — but nothing more vigorous than that.
I am so happy already about the improvement in my quality of life without those horrible headaches and neck aches and other bizarre symptoms. I wish my doctors and neurologists hadn’t been such dummies and had figured it all out 5 years ago… but better late than never! The 5-hour car ride back home from NYC yesterday was a little rough (Memorial Day weekend traffic didn’t help), but I am glad I went the route of seeking out an expert Brain & Spine Center that really knew what they were doing. 4 days after surgery I am sitting here in bed at home with my cat in my lap (and warning the kids not yo jump on the bed) and feeling so much more optimistic about the future.
Wishing you all the best with your own journeys and recoveries. The first 4 days post-surgery really hasn’t been at ALL as bad as I feared. I was scared because I’ve never had surgery other than C-Section before, but it has bern totally manageable with the pain meds they give you. And neck stiffness by day 3, already SO much better than day 1-2. Hang in there!!!
submitted by KooKooKangaRoo42 to chiari [link] [comments]
Just sharing my Chiari Surgery experience for anyone who is thinking about getting it done and wanting to hear about people's experiences/recovery.
I (43 f) just had my Chiari Decompression Surgery with duroplasty and C1 laminectomy at Weill Cornell with Dr Stieg in NYC on Wed 5/24 and was discharged home this AM (Sat 5/27). They were actually ready to discharge me on Fri 5/26 even — but because I live so far (5 hrs) from the specialty center, I felt more comfortable staying one more night, which they were fine with.
For background, I was just diagnosed with Chiari I.5 malformation (13 mm cerebellar tonsillar descent, with the obex or bottom of medulla being squished down there even lower) on MRI on 5/5/23. (No syrinx in the spine, though, fortunately.) I am so glad the neurosurgeon got me in so fast. Doctors including my neurologist had been blowing off my increasing symptoms for the past 5 years. (“Oh, it’s probably just migraines — oh, it’s probably just cluster headaches — oh it’s probably just neck strain.”) So frustrating! But once I got the MRI showing the Chiari, I just took the initiative to find a neurosurgeon to consult with. And Dr. Stieg’s team was very good about getting me in quickly. He did a full brain and spine MRI, with and without contrast, and consultation with me within 2 weeks of my reaching out to his team. I could already tell within 1-2 days post surgery that essentially all my major problems had been resolved (though of course there’s a lot of neck stiffness and soreness from the surgery itself, but it’s already so much better just 3 days post-surgery).
I had problems since at least 2018 including: Chiari headaches (excruciating, incapacitating collapsing to the floor moaning with my head in my hands headaches, triggered initially by coughing episodes — but then progressively over time even by just standing up too fast, yelling for the kids, bending or tilting my head wrong, by the end even sitting up or turning over in bed by the end). Also terrible chronic neck pain RIGHT at the base of my skull (that I thought had been caused/worsened by car accident whiplash, but now I think 100% caused by the Chiari -- since it seems to have pretty much resolved since the surgery). And also increasingly weird neurological symptoms due to the compression of the brain stem, including: trouble swallowing (seemed like I accidentally choke liquid down the wrong tube every single day when I took a drink), excessive drooling, numb/weak hands/clumsy hands, poor balance/coordination (walking into walks, trips/falls going up and down stairs, a few faint episodes), excessive yawning, and hands(not just a little — like shaking violently after every yawn or sneeze).
My surgery was at 7:30 AM. I had to show up at 5:45 so they could get me checked in and everything. The neurosurgeon and anaesthesiologist were very good about explaining what would be happening and answering any questions I had. They took special care talking about my anaesthesia (because in my case a sleep study had shown that the Chiari puts pressure on my brain stem, and has caused me to have central sleep apnea — different from obstructive apnea. It’s the brain signals telling my lungs to breathe don’t always get through at night. So that is part of why I’m always waking up in the middle of the night and still feeling tired in the morning.) So concerns about that were thoroughly discussed and they would use a CPAP mask to help with my breathing if needed. They still went with Methadone as IV painkiller as planned. The surgery took about 3 & 1/2 hours. (They told me 2-3, so pretty close). They will put your IV in of course and give you something to relax you and put you to sleep and you won’t remember anything afterward except them telling you the surgery is all done and it’s time to wake up.
I’m not going to lie, there was some pain obviously. But for me, it was manageable —never more than a 6-7, and with the Oxycodone and Tylenol they gave me, got me down to a 3 (on a 10-point pain scale) pretty fast. For the day of the surgery they had me on 10 mg Oxycodone dose immediately afterward, tapering down to 5 mg. I had some nausea the first day after surgery too, which the anaesthesia and pain meds can cause, I guess. But they gave me something for it whenever I complained and whatever they gave me worked quickly. The steroids for swelling also tend to cause some side effects -- high blood sugar, which they did finger pricks to check and which were always a little high -- though they didn't end up having to give me any insulin. And heartburn, which they gave me protonix for every morning. And Maalox once, when I complained about it still bothering me
They actually tapered me just the day after surgery down from Oxycodone to just regular Tylenol and muscle relaxant every 8 hours — but would check in with me regularly about pain of course and offer Oxycodone as needed or if it got worse. I did take just ONE more dose of Oxycodone that next night, the day after surgery — I think it’s my own fault for doing a little too much walking and self-directed P/T (trying to turn my neck a bit side to side to loosen the stiffness) that first day. So maybe give it a few days before you do much active attempt to turn/stretch the neck. (Don’t be a hero by trying to taper too soon — the one extra dose of Oxycodone I asked for that night provided me a lot of relief and allowed me a good night of sleep and was feeling much better the next morning and able to taper to Tylenol without a problem.)
But by two days post-surgery, I was doing really well and managing with just 3 Tylenol and 1/2 muscle relaxant every 8 hrs. Steroids too to keep down the swelling every 6 hours. The recovery has really been so good so far from what I had feared. Not so bad at all. They did give me some Oxycodone I can have at home if pain flares up again, but I don’t think I’ll need it.
Literally, as soon as I woke up from surgery, my very first sip of juice that I had, I realized I could swallow again without choking. By the day after surgery, the numbness in my hands had mostly abated. (That one I was worried about, because I know sometimes if nerve damage goes on too long it can be permanent so I thought the numbness and hand weakness might not resolve). I could sit/stand/turn over in bed etc without triggering the usual Chiari headaches. Some other symptoms that I didn’t even KNOW were related to my Chiari (a nagging constant earache in my left ear that my GP just always told me there was nothing wrong when she looked in there — miraculously also gone! Must have been due to blocked CSF or something).
I am already so happy I had this surgery done, even though my husband was nervous about it happening so quickly. I’d been suffering for 5 years already, with it impinging a lot on my quality of life, ability to play with or carry my own kids, and neurological symptoms can get worse over time, so as surgeon said — now that you know the diagnosis and likely solution, what are you waiting for?I do realize that everyone’s story is different and I am quite lucky that (so far) everything has gone according to plan, with such rapid and obvious symptom relief for me, incision healing seeming to go so well, etc — so bear in mind everyone’s situation and recovery is different and consult closely with your professionals. This is just my own story. But I had a *very* good experience and would definitely recommend the Chiari surgery to anyone who was suffering the level of symptoms that I was having.
I will second the recommendations others have made about taking stool softeners (and laxatives or suppositories if needed to get things going) in your first few days post-surgery. I am very sensitive to the constipating effects of opiates like Oxycodone (I went 8 days without pooping after my C-Section — by which time it was very tough and painful, as you can imagine). So although they were giving me stool softeners — Senna, and Miralax every day — when I still hadn’t gone for 3 days, I asked for prune juice, and when that didn’t work, and I was still straining and having trouble passing, I requested Milk of Magnesia. It gave me unpleasant stomach cramping for a few hours, but was worth it to me, because it got the job done so I was all cleared out by the time I left the hospital, which was important to me. Given all the warnings they give you about not straining on the toilet because it can increase CSF pressure in the head and potentially cause your dura patch to leak.
I showered for the first time the morning of my discharge (3 days post surgery). My surgeon said ok to shower, but don’t submerge — no pools, hot tubs, etc as that can increase risk of incision infection. No rubbing any lotions or oils back there, though bacitracin or neosporin to put on with sterile gloves/hands is ok if incision is itchy. They removed the bandage 2 days after my surgery and said everything looked beautiful. (I can PM you a picture of the shave line and incision if you what it looked like immediately after they removed the bandage. You can’t even notice the incision or that they shaved any of my hair when my hair is down. They tell me it is healing beautifully. My 5-year-old says it looks "soooo cool!" 😂)
Just a note, following surgery, that first day I found it more comfortable to rest on my side than my back because the neck incision pain hurt too much while on my back. But by 1-2 days after surgery, lying on my back with head elevated was fine. I second the recommendation for buying a wedge pillow in advance of your arrival home. (I didn’t know how helpful that elevating/reclining hospital bed pillow was until it was gone!) Right now I’m stacking pillows, but I think a wedge would have worked better.
They told me no bending, lifting, twisting - don’t carry anything bigger than a gallon of milk for 6 weeks. If you drop something and do need to pick it up, bend at the knees. No picking up kids (at least, not if the one who wants picking up is 5 years old and 40 lbs, like my youngest!). Avoid driving for 2-4 weeks if you can, both to avoid needless jostling of head from sudden stops , and strain from having to turn your head too much. Do P/T if recommended.
I did have one slightly scary experience during my very early recovery (harmless, apparently, but freaked me out since I had never experienced it before). I had an episode of “vasovagal syncope,” which involves an automatic bodily reaction where your blood pressure and heart rate suddenly drop precipitously. (It happens to some people when they see needles or blood or get stressed or scared — essentially “fainting.” But never happened to me before). Apparently, it is not uncommon to occur after anaesthesia, brain surgery, etc.
So this was on the very day of surgery. Remember my procedure only started at 7:30 AM on Wednesday. But after dinner the same day, around 6:30 pm, they were already encouraging me to try moving to a sit-up chair for a while — with the idea that if that went well, we’d go on to do a little assisted walking (I guess walking as soon as you can helps with recovery time, reduces risk of blood clots, etc). So I sat up in a chair for about 30 minutes, not even standing, just sitting in a chair. And was fine at first. But then my legs started shaking a lot and I started to feel very nauseated. I asked the nurse to get me something for the nausea, afraid I was going to actually throw up, and while she was gone, started feeling even weirder - like flushing hot and cold sensations, sudden sweating. More shaking. Just feeling weird and terrible. My husband said I turned white as a sheet and my lips as white as the rest of my face. My husband got the nurses who helped me lay flat, and neuro came in a minute later to see me and ask what happened. He said what I described was a classic vasovagal syncope reaction - just put some fluids in my IV and had the bed headrest inverted a little (so my head was slightly tipped back — I didn’t like it, because put a little more strain on my neck, but he said just for 5 minutes or so to get the blood back in my head.)
After 30 minutes lying down with my legs up and my head back, I was pretty much back to normal and feeling better. Just a little scary because I didn’t know what was happening and hadn’t experienced it before. And usually I guess people experience it when standing up and walking, not just sitting in chair, so probably took nurses and dr a little by surprise too. But neuro team said it’s not too uncommon after surgery.
I didn’t do any more sitting that night. But next day after lunch, neuro team told me to go ahead and try again — and I had no more problems. Did plenty of sitting, standing, and walking with my husband. They said, by the way, that during your 6 weeks initial recovery, do as much walking as you want — but nothing more vigorous than that.
I am so happy already about the improvement in my quality of life without those horrible headaches and neck aches and other bizarre symptoms. I wish my doctors and neurologists hadn’t been such dummies and had figured it all out 5 years ago… but better late than never! The 5-hour car ride back home from NYC yesterday was a little rough (Memorial Day weekend traffic didn’t help), but I am glad I went the route of seeking out an expert Brain & Spine Center that really knew what they were doing. 4 days after surgery I am sitting here in bed at home with my cat in my lap (and warning the kids not yo jump on the bed) and feeling so much more optimistic about the future.
Wishing you all the best with your own journeys and recoveries. The first 4 days post-surgery really hasn’t been at ALL as bad as I feared. I was scared because I’ve never had surgery other than C-Section before, but it has bern totally manageable with the pain meds they give you. And neck stiffness by day 3, already SO much better than day 1-2. Hang in there!!!
2023.05.28 14:36 MugShots DPS Alert
DPS Alert Vehicle Accident-Injury N RANCHO DR and N US 95; nb on ramp 05/28/2023 05:32:14 AM
submitted by MugShots to AlertVegas [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 13:49 ThrowRA_567863737368 Depressed 31f broke it off with me (37m) after a car accident
For three months things were great. We were inseparable, happy. She 31f said she might not be ready for a relationship because she has a tendency to focus on her partner too much and she needs to focus on herself. I (37m) said cool, focus on yourself but this is too good to let go, try both. We continued.
She was in a car accident; hit her head, hurt her back. She is stressed, overwhelmed, and deeply depressed. I helped her after the accident and we spent about a week together.
She got distant for about a week and then broke it off with me saying she's depressed and doesn't want a relationship - it's not right to drag me through her depression when it might not work out between us later.
I explained that things might not work but I care about her and want to be around for support if she needs it.
A few days go by, I checked in with her. She tells me she's glad and she's missed me. She stayed in close contact.
She got drunk, had a panic attack, and told me she needed help. I obliged; she told me she wants to die and she hasn't told anyone but me - I'm the only one she trusts and told me that part of her wants me and doesn't want to hurt me part wants to be spontaneous and probably will.
A day or two later she tells me she feels like she's leading me on and shouldn't be leaning on me for support. I told her that it's okay and I'm here and I'm not leaving her. I told her to talk to her parents about her depression- I can't be the only one that knows, especially if she won't let me be around.
She says it's toxic for me to stick around, she said I'm only sticking around because I want a relationship with her. - I'm sticking around because I care.
She said she doesn't want to date anyone and knows it would hurt me, she said she doesn't want to think about me with other people. I said that sounds like an exclusive relationship and I'm okay with that and want to be here. She said it's toxic.
I'm not sure what to do, I want to give her space but I'm concerned for her well being and her lack of a support group.
Her actions don't match her words, I don't believe that she wants to end it, I think she just doesn't want me to see her go through it.
I ultimately know that this isn't my responsibility but how do I move on from this when I want to stick around to support her?
────────
Tl;Dr Gf broke up with me saying she's depressed. Letting me stick around is toxic. She said she doesn't want a relationship and I don't believe her because her actions don't match that. I want to stay supportive...
I ultimately know that this isn't my responsibility but how do I move on from this when I want to stick around to support her?
submitted by ThrowRA_567863737368 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
She was in a car accident; hit her head, hurt her back. She is stressed, overwhelmed, and deeply depressed. I helped her after the accident and we spent about a week together.
She got distant for about a week and then broke it off with me saying she's depressed and doesn't want a relationship - it's not right to drag me through her depression when it might not work out between us later.
I explained that things might not work but I care about her and want to be around for support if she needs it.
A few days go by, I checked in with her. She tells me she's glad and she's missed me. She stayed in close contact.
She got drunk, had a panic attack, and told me she needed help. I obliged; she told me she wants to die and she hasn't told anyone but me - I'm the only one she trusts and told me that part of her wants me and doesn't want to hurt me part wants to be spontaneous and probably will.
A day or two later she tells me she feels like she's leading me on and shouldn't be leaning on me for support. I told her that it's okay and I'm here and I'm not leaving her. I told her to talk to her parents about her depression- I can't be the only one that knows, especially if she won't let me be around.
She says it's toxic for me to stick around, she said I'm only sticking around because I want a relationship with her. - I'm sticking around because I care.
She said she doesn't want to date anyone and knows it would hurt me, she said she doesn't want to think about me with other people. I said that sounds like an exclusive relationship and I'm okay with that and want to be here. She said it's toxic.
I'm not sure what to do, I want to give her space but I'm concerned for her well being and her lack of a support group.
Her actions don't match her words, I don't believe that she wants to end it, I think she just doesn't want me to see her go through it.
I ultimately know that this isn't my responsibility but how do I move on from this when I want to stick around to support her?
────────
Tl;Dr Gf broke up with me saying she's depressed. Letting me stick around is toxic. She said she doesn't want a relationship and I don't believe her because her actions don't match that. I want to stay supportive...
I ultimately know that this isn't my responsibility but how do I move on from this when I want to stick around to support her?
2023.05.28 13:19 MugShots DPS Alert
DPS Alert Vehicle Accident-Injury W SAHARA AVE and S RANCHO DR; WB EO 05/28/2023 04:17:39 AM
submitted by MugShots to AlertVegas [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 11:40 Obvious_Hour7678 Me and my wife are deeply in love, but we can't be together.
Me and my wife have been married 2 years, together for 5+ and known each other way over a decade and have a beautiful baby boy. She is my rock and though we've had small arguments, it's nothing like this past year. A few weeks back I made the incredibly difficult decision to leave her because of constant arguments regarding various small things largely around communication. We managed to sort a plan for this, however there is one thing we simply can't agree on and I think it might be the end of us, and it hurts so much.
She comes from a huge family and has always wanted a lot of kids, initially pre marriage we agreed on 3 and an accident (always a joke but I knew she was serious). A couple years after our first child I decided that fatherhood is tough... I'm not super paternal but because of issues with my own father I've always been paranoid about not being the best I can be, so I do make the effort. However I also have a tendency to snap easily due to past trauma and other factors so I appreciate that my wife can help with this. With that said, when my boy hit around 3 I felt something in me change. Its not that I couldn't do it, it's more that I couldn't do it again straight away. It feels stupid but mentally I feel like it was a real struggle. While there are those out there who have a lot of kids and love the journey, im simply not one of those. So the problem you see is that my wife wants more kids. Ultimately we settled on one more much to her upset, but even that I just can't cope with at the moment and my wife (rightfully so) doesn't want to wait.
We really are perfect in every other way, and the pain I'm feeling right now is horrendous but I would never expect her to back down, and I don't feel like I can just change either. Maybe I would be ready one day, but it's so unfair to put that pressure of "maybe" on my wife, who already feels like I've betrayed her.
I've had a truly awful weekend and we are currently separated with rings off. We initially planned a month break, but realistically, are either of us going to change our minds in 30 days? I'm doubting it.
No idea what happens next, no idea what to do with anything. I'm a state and I didn't know where else to vent.
Thanks Reddit.
TL;DR: I promised my wife 3 children, I changed my mind to 1, my current child grew to a certain age and now I'm unsure of more. Completely broken, unintentionally selfish.
submitted by Obvious_Hour7678 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
She comes from a huge family and has always wanted a lot of kids, initially pre marriage we agreed on 3 and an accident (always a joke but I knew she was serious). A couple years after our first child I decided that fatherhood is tough... I'm not super paternal but because of issues with my own father I've always been paranoid about not being the best I can be, so I do make the effort. However I also have a tendency to snap easily due to past trauma and other factors so I appreciate that my wife can help with this. With that said, when my boy hit around 3 I felt something in me change. Its not that I couldn't do it, it's more that I couldn't do it again straight away. It feels stupid but mentally I feel like it was a real struggle. While there are those out there who have a lot of kids and love the journey, im simply not one of those. So the problem you see is that my wife wants more kids. Ultimately we settled on one more much to her upset, but even that I just can't cope with at the moment and my wife (rightfully so) doesn't want to wait.
We really are perfect in every other way, and the pain I'm feeling right now is horrendous but I would never expect her to back down, and I don't feel like I can just change either. Maybe I would be ready one day, but it's so unfair to put that pressure of "maybe" on my wife, who already feels like I've betrayed her.
I've had a truly awful weekend and we are currently separated with rings off. We initially planned a month break, but realistically, are either of us going to change our minds in 30 days? I'm doubting it.
No idea what happens next, no idea what to do with anything. I'm a state and I didn't know where else to vent.
Thanks Reddit.
TL;DR: I promised my wife 3 children, I changed my mind to 1, my current child grew to a certain age and now I'm unsure of more. Completely broken, unintentionally selfish.
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