Where is swanson chicken broth made
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2015.04.11 11:11 Clackpot StupidFood : Food. Point. Laugh.
A place to lambast idiotic methods of serving food, or any other epicurean inanity worthy of ridicule.
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2023.05.28 17:19 Eemana613 Kapok/ceiba/silk cotton tree for jewelry, specifically a ring?
Hi All, have been searching for blanks or even pre made or custom rings from kapok/ceiba/silk cotton tree (same tree, different names depending where you are), with zero luck (including lumber distributors, hardware, and etsy).
Is the wood just not suitable for making a ring? Any leads or ideas?
submitted by Eemana613
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2023.05.28 17:18 Auhydride Employer continuously monitors and logs internet use without prior communication, what now?
English post, but I live and work in NL. I can understand some Dutch but it's far from smooth.
To provide context, I work in an industry where confidentiality with client data is crucial. It's manufacturing. However, I myself do not work with confidential information of our clientèle, I just make sure our machines are running. We are also an SME owned by a bigger group that is recently taken over by a multinational corp.
Recently our "IT responsible" sent out a WhatsApp message to the "non-official whatsapp group".
The message basically said our big corp (not European) worked together with our IT provider to implement a pretty well known American firewall and security software package on our network. This was all the information given, but I thought it was very strange how it was announced (via the non official channel) and not via our HR. So I asked my manager, which asked his manager, which asked HR for more info. Turned out, nobody was informed about this and so no quick answer. Therefore, I repeated the question in writing in the form of a GDPR (avg) request.
Here is what is important about this piece of software. It's capable of logging everything you do, uploads it all to a cloud server, after which it is potentially accessible by parties besides my direct employer. For the EU market, the vendor made it possible to tune down these features. So my GDPR (avg) inquiry was basically inquiring the level of monitoring, logging they implemented. Also who can access the logs, how long, and why?
After my inquiry (officially they have 4 weeks to reply), there is visible "movement" as they are trying to form an official reply. They say they need to do an investigation. Of course the top level IT manager from the group is pulled into the discussion. I know this guy has the confidence of a god, and tends to have a big mouth... so next time we see each other, he goes on by saying how my question has nothing to do with GDPPrivacy, everything was communicated and planned in advance, they already did it in the other company and nobody complained, and they always logged everything for security it's the same situation so he doesn't get why I asked the question etc... I basically told him to provide his reply in writing, but nevertheless noted down the discussion. Especially the part "we always logged everything so there is no difference".
As far as I understand, it's possible to monitor employees internet use, but there is a procedure to justify this, and everything has to be communicated in advance etc...
I don't think their intentions are malicious, it's mostly incompetence and laziness. I can imagine they get a top down order to implement something new and they just do it. There is always the excuse of "we are part of a really big corp now!!" to bypass things like the CAO, HR, our non-existent OR...
Now what? The reason I dug this up was curiosity and not liking the feeling of "being watched". Essentially I want them to stop, and do it right from the start. What do I tell them?
submitted by Auhydride
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2023.05.28 17:17 Schillander Hi all! Especially anyone with knowledge of Swedish genealogy!
I have been hitting the brick wall for many years now with the mystery of Carl Petter Schylander and Catharina. So I need all the help I can get! I and several others in Norway have long tried to find out about the origins of two Swedes who immigrated to Nordland on the coast of Norway. Namely the couple Carl Petter (b. c. 1764 - 28 April 1823) and Catharina PehrsdotteOlsdotter (b. c. 1764 - 1842). It is my ancestor which makes it interesting for me, but the circumstances of their coming to Norway is an exciting mystery in itself. Exactly when and why they came to Norway is a mystery. These were turbulent years in Europe, Denmark-Norway and in Sweden, so moving without further ado from Sweden via Nasafjell to Nesna and Dønnes in Norway was not an everyday occurrence. Immigration from Sweden to Norway and vice versa is not new, in the second half of the 19th century 100,000 moved from Sweden to Norway, a full three-quarters of the foreign population in the 1900 census was from Sweden. But this was after liberalization policies that had solved compulsory service, the obligation for the propertyless to take up work, ceased in Norway only in 1854, and the tradition of taking up new service only in spring and autumn persisted longer. The passport requirement was abolished even later, first in 1860.
At the end of the Great Nordic War and until the peace of Nystadt in 1721, it became clear that Sweden had to have a fleet that could fight near the coast and in the archipelago. To take up the fight with Russia's new galley fleet that was ravaging the Swedish coast. The Swedish naval fleet was not created to fight in the archipelago. Tsar Peter the Great had in his service a Dalmatian Greek sailor, Admiral Count Ivan Botsis, who had previously served in the Venetian fleet and learned there to build galleys. A rowing galley that made it possible to attack even when the wind was calm. So after the peace of Nystadt, the Swedish leadership decided that the naval fleet should acquire a number of galleys and build a galley fleet. The galeiflåtta was stationed at Skeppsholmen in Stockholm and the squadron came to be called Stockholm's squadron. The fleet became known as Arméns flotta or Skärgårdsflottan and existed from 1756 to 1826. The fleet consisted of smaller vessels that could easily navigate and fight in the Swedish archipelago, corresponding to the Norwegian fleet force often called Roflotiljen. By royal decree 18 October 1756, the army fleet was officially created and was thereby separated from the naval fleet. The fleet's founder Augustin Count Ehrensvärd (1710-1772) and his son, Admiral Carl August Count Ehrensvärd (1745-1800), became commander from 1784 to 1790 of the fleet, which was developed with, among other things, knowledge from similar fleets in the Mediterranean. Gustaf 3's Russian war broke out in 1788, at the outbreak of the war the ancestor Carl Petter was approx. 22 years old. Two years into the war in 1790, former commander of the volunteer company, lieutenant colonel Johan Gustaf count Lagerbielke (1745-1812) as commander of the Stockholm Squadron.
Skeppsholm became Sweden's naval headquarters when the naval staff moved there in 1634 from the nearby old Skeppsholm, which is now called Blasieholmen. But not long after during the Scanian War 1675-1679, it was decided to move the military base to the newly founded Karlskrona in Blekinge to secure the newly acquired regions in the south. Skeppsholm's glory days as the navy's headquarters were over, but military activity did not end. It is here that first source of Carl Petter appears as volunteer no. 29 in the premier major's company at Skeppsholm's assembly in Stockholm where the fleet was stationed. Skeppsholm assembly in Stockholm also known as the Admiralty assembly or Holmkyrkan's assembly. Flottan's assembly was a non-territorial military assembly. Christina Charlotta Schylander is baptized here on 12 May 1794 by midwife Johanna Berggren. Pastor at Flottan Natanael Larsson Lithander (1790-1808) confirms three days later the baptism of the daughter of Carl Petter Schylander and his wife Catharina Pehrsdotter. Among the witnesses were lieutenant colonel high-born herr Axel Otto count Cronhielm (1751-1809) of Hakunge and lieutenant Ekstedt. Christina Charlotta does not appear again, and since it was an emergency baptism, it is likely that she died young.
The volunteers were enlisted personnel, i.e. permanent employees. They were also called "marinärer
" and their main task was to operate the naval artillery. During the period Carl Petter was a "volantaire
" Finland was and a central part of the area the Skærgårdsflottan was supposed to protect. The Skærgårdsflottan's greatest victory was the Battle of Svensksund in 1790 when a larger Russian force was defeated, but it was not enough to stop Russia finally conquering the Duchy of Finland from Sweden in 1809. At this time it was Johan Gustaf count Lagerbielke (1745-1812 ) who was commander-in-chief from 1790-1811. Carl Petter was around 30 years old in 1795, which makes it highly probable that he had all served in Gustav III's Russian war from 1788-1790, he would have been 24 years old at the outbreak of the war. If that was the case, he maybe participated in the Battle of Svensksund in 1789.
Carl Petter is listed as the father again the following year on 17. Sep. 1795 at the baptism of his son Carl Petter Sylander in Lövsta, Ed socken. He is still a volunteer at Armén's fleet and his wife Catharina Sylander is stated to be 28 years old. The godfathera are Lieutenant-Colonel count Cronhielm, his stepmother high-born countess Mrs. Christina Cronhielm, nee Baroness Rålamb, Fänrik (ranks above sergeant and below sub-lieutenant.) Mr. Conrad Vilhelm Ankarcrona (1733-1809) of Runsa and his daughter Miss Margreta Elisabeth Ankarcrona (1777-1838). Both Ankarcrona and Cronhielm had estates in the area. Nasa silver works
Carl Petter and Catharina probably came around around 1800 to Norway from "Nasa Seilfver Grufvor in Pitteå Lappmark, Ærjeplougs Sochn." The mines were located by the mountain Nasa about 36 miles from Piteå, not far from the border with Norway. There was some traffic between the mines and Norway, probably per horse hoof. The Nasaleden, as this route is called today, mostly ran from Piteå. Nasafjell's silver works was a silver mining operation in Pite Lappmark that took place during two periods, 1635–1659 and 1770–1810. The management of The mill was taken over by the notary Fredrik Jonsson in 1797, a man with big plans but little experience of silver works. He soon got the mill people against him, and the workers who had been permanent residents in Adolfstrøm got tired and moved from there. Mining was therefore carried out on a small scale, and hut density was at an all-time low in 1797-1800. In the autumn of 1801, Fredrik Jonsson moved from Lapland and later went bankrupt. His rights in the company were transferred to one of his creditors, Major Georg Bogislaus Staël von Holstein (1740-1814) in Stockholm. He made great efforts for the Lapland colony station and "cultivation", but did not succeed in saving the silver works. Even with extensive repairs and rebuilds in Adolfstrøm led by the former geschworner at Dannemora mine, Leonard Horneman, silver production remained insignificant. Staël von Holstein became more indebted, and in 1810 he left Adolfstrøm never to return. Mining activity on Nasafjellet and in Adolfstrøm thus ceased completely. In 1821, the entire cottage facility burned down, except for the dwelling house. With this information many have assumed that Carl Petter and family just came via the area, and did not work or stay there.
Dr. Wayne Mitchell said that his grandmother claims that either Carl or Catherina came from a noble family and that they came from Russia. She also claimed that they had to flee the country and when they reached the border crossing between Sweden and Norway that they bribed the border guards with jewels. Harald Bertrand Eckhold from Kragerø told in 1988 that his mother-in-law Åsta Marie Isaksen (1898-1974), great-great-granddaughter of Carl Petter senior, told him in 1956 that Carl Petter Sjølander came to Norway with a small chest full of jewels. And that Carl Petter had said "No one should know who my mother is
." That the Sylander family had some noble origin is probably very unlikely, but that it came to Norway in the form of them fleeing from something is a possibility. There is indeed a family with a similar name from Kalmar that was ennobled on 10 June 1812 with registry number 2225. The family possibly starts with Corporal Sven Christoffersson and Catharina Strømsten, who are believed to be the parents of Jonas Sylvander, born around 1700. He married in the 1730s with Sara Anna Hallenberg (1711-1785 in Målilla), daughter of Sheriff Gabriel Hallenberg and Maria Ljungstrøm (-1774 in Ljungby). Their son Johan Gabriel S. (1767-1833) in Stockholm married for the first time to Eva Elisabet Molin (1738-1776). They first had their daughter Anna Britta Sylvander (1762-1844) married to the ship clerk Clas Johan Zander. And then his son Josua Sylvander. Interestingly, Josua marries for the third time countess Lovisa Gustava Ottiliana Cronhielm af Hakunge (1788-1842), daughter of the previously named count Cronhielm and his wife baroness Amalia Fredrika Carlsdtr. Pechlin von Løwenbach (1867-1824). Catharina's parentage.
A possible person who may be identical, with Catharina Pehrsdotter Schillander but very uncertain, is Katharina Olofsdotter born on 7 April 1757 in Arjeplog, daughter of Olof Mårtenson "Nybyggare, expeditionslänsman och snickare i Sakkavare, Arjeplog" born ca. 1728 and died on 19 March 1786 and his wife Karin "Caisa" Persdotter born on 1731 and died on 15 November 1792 also in Sakkavare, Arjeplog. Olof Mårtensson and Karin Persdotter were married in Arjeplog on 11 April 1757. Karin Persdotter was the daughter of PePehr Larsson and Karin Olofsdotter Laestander. Year of birth is very uncertain but probably around 1710. At the court in Arjeplog on 30 January 1731 where her father Olof Laestander puts "church pastor" Sjul Granberg's son Per Larsson before the court, Karin is stated to be 24 years old but the following year, at the court on 26 February 1732, she is noted to be 19 years old. After Karin O. Laestander's death in 1739, Karin Persdotter was adopted by her maternal uncle Petter Olofsson Laestander. This Katharina Olofsdotter moved from Arjeplog around 1780 when one of the parents died, this must be the father Pehr Larsson, since the mother Karin O. Lestander is said to have died in 1739. The adoptive parents, i.e. her uncle Petter O. Lestander and his wife Margareta Svedberg cannot be, since they died later than that. Nasafjell is not far from Arjeplog. And especially considering Catharina uses two patronymics during her life, both Persdatter and Olsdatter, which is consistent with the possible use of patronymics if she did not really want to associate herself with her biological father, which one might think is the case if the reader between the lines. But again this is speculation! In Norway.
The first definitive trace of Carl Petter in Norway is at Dønnes manor during the census in 1801. Carl Petter Schillander is listed here as the first servant of five to a visiting merchant Berg. Furthermore, in addition to the lords of the farm, there is a Lapland forster boy, eight maids and a widow "in the house of charity". The lord of the house is the widow of lieutenant colonel Isach Jørgen Coldevin (1724-1793), housewife Maria Anna Emahus Tønder (1731-1802) and their son and heir war councilor Hans Emahus Tønder Coldevin (1754-1835). Daughter Else Maria Coldevin (1753-). And in the "house of charity" the widow Anna Cathrine Tobine Sommer (1725-1811), sister of Isach Jørgen. The same census is Catharina Pedersdtr. Schillander with the children Carl Petter and Caroline stated as lodging with a homestead Slåttvik not far from Dønnes with the homestead family Gabriel Andersen (1752-1813) and his third wife Aleth Sophia Johansdtr. (1764-). Whether Carl Petter remained a servant for a long time with the Coldevin family is uncertain. But in 1803 they had a son Isak Jørgen Dass Siølander, baptized in Lurøy church named after the lords of Dønnes and Lurøy. It is Isach Jørgen's eldest daughter Stinchen Catharina Coldevin (1752-1845) and her husband skipper and merchant Christen Dass (1743-1791) who own Lurøy estate. Their son Isach Jørgen Coldevin Dass (1772-1836) is among the godfathers at Isach Jørgen Dass Siølander's baptism.
In 1815, Moflaget farm was vacant. Carl Petter and Catharina must have well liked with the venerable housewife Dass since she wanted them as tenants at Moflaget. Housewife Dass owned Sør-Solvær including Moflaget until 1825. This was an inheritance from Dønnes estate and not originally part of Lurøy estate. In the following land registry, Carl Petter and Catharina take over the building on the entire Moflaget in 1816. Two years later on 10 October 1817, the first of the children, Karl Petter Schiølander, marries Maren Hansdtr. Slåtterøy. And not long after at Solvær in 1818, the first grandchild Katrina Margrethe Sckelander arrives, unfortunately she will also be the first grandchild to perish when she all dies the following year. But all in 1823, Carl Petter probably perishes when he is lost at sea on 28 April 1823 at the age of approx. 58 years. But he leaves behind a family that will have many descendants in Norway, USA and more.
- 12. mai 1794. Dåp av Christina Charlotta Schylander (1794-). Faddere: Axel Otto greve Cronhielm (1751-1809) av Hakunge, Axel Abraham Ekstedt (1766-1834) og Natanael Larsson Lithander (1790-1808). ”Skeppsholms församling i Stockholm - 1794 Maj 12/Dito(21) - Christina Charlotta. - Vol. no 29 Prem. Maj. Comp. Carl Peter Schylander, dess hustru Cathar. Pehrsdotter. Öfversteleutnanten Grefve Axel Cronhjelm. Leutnant Ekstedt. Pastorskan Lithander Demoiselle Nöddopet af Barnmorskan Johanna Berggren confirmerades d:15 af ord. Bat: Past: Lithander.". CI:3 (1787-1834) Bild 92 / sid 175 (AID: v89892.b92.s175, NAD: SE/SSA/0014).
- 19. sep 1795. Dåp Carl Petter Sylander. Faddere: Axel Otto greve Cronhielm (1751-1809) av Hakunge, hans stemor fru Christina friherrinne Rålamb gift grevinne Cronhielm, Conrad Vilhelm Ankarcrona (1733-1809) til Runsa og hans datter frøken Margreta Elisabeth Ankarcrona (1777-1838). "Stockholms län. Eds socken, Löfsta - Soffia - Carl Petter - född d.17 döpt d.19 September. Volontairen vid Armeens flotta Carl Petter Sylander, Hust. Catharina Sylander 28 år kyrktogs d. 3 octob. Vittnen Öfverste Leutnanten Högvälborne Grefvej Hr Axel Otto Cronhjelm. Statsfrun Högvälborna Grefvinna fru Christina Cronhjelm född Rålamb. Fendricken Herr Conrad Ankarcrona fröken Margreta Elisabeth Ankarcrona.”. Ed CI:2 (1745-1803) Bild 102 / sid 195 (AID: v94391.b102.s195, NAD: SE/SSA/1497.
The first source in Norway is the census of 1801 (Census 1801 for 1828P Nesna parish. Permanent page Link. Permanent picture link)
where they are referred to as Carl Petter and Cathrina Pedersdatter Schillander. Where he is the first servant on Dønnes estate and she is Swedish and earns her living with hand work "Er svendsk og ernærer sig med haandarbeyd". Converted from the given age, they were born about 1764 and their son Carl Petter junior, 6 years old, i.e. born about. 1795. Furthermore, they and their descendants are well documented in Norway where they have many descendants. During the Napoleonic Wars, conscription was introduced in northern Norway and crew rolls were kept. Carl Petter is listed here with Stockholm as his birthplace in 1809 and 1811 (microfilm NT195). Converted from the stated age from the crew rolls, he should have been born in about 1766. In 1832, at her daughter Caroline Frederikke Sjølander's wedding, her place of birth is given as "Nasa Brug in Westerboten in Sverrig
." (Nordland fylke, Lurøy, Ministerial book no. 839A03 (1825-1862), Ekteviede 1833, page 378. Permanent page link. Permanent image Link.
). Slightly converted if the source is correct, she was born before 14 October 1803.
There are many sources about the family in Norway, but none that provide any more information about their Swedish origins.
Frode sin Slektside: Link
Some variations of the family name in Norway: 1801: Schillander (2x sources), 1805: Siölander (1x source), 1817: Schiölander (1x source), 1818: Sckelander (1x source), 1820: Sjölander (17x sources), 1823: Schjolander ( 1x source), 1823: Sylander (4x source), and more. I know that the ending -ander means man. But I'm not sure what the first link can come from. I have speculated whether it could come from Latin silva or Greek xýlon both meaning forest. But as likely as name researcher Eva Brylla answered me "Hi Mats! In Sweden the old name types are tied to the different places. Names in Greek. names with Latin endings in –(i)us. Often they were formed into a place name, like Sylvanus or Sylvander into a place name Skog = forrest. Schillander can therefore be formed into a place name in Skill(-), e.g. Skillberga . One such example was a Swede on his way to "London and beyond" via Ålesund in 1859. His name was Nils Peder Sylander and he came from Silonger parish in Sundsvall. But after searching a bit, there are quite a few places in Sweden and Finland that you can use as a starting point to form the first part of the family name.
Here are some of the forums that discuss Carl Petter and Catharina:
2000- Arkivverket: Link
2002-2008 Akrivverket: Link
2011-2017 Slekt og Data: Link
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2023.05.28 17:16 puppyworm My story as a recovering neet
Hey. I don't really have anyone to share this with, so I hope it's okay if I share it here. I'm a recovering neet and I just want to put this out there. Maybe it can serve as some inspiration for others looking to get out of neetdom or something. Anyways.
I would've dropped out of high school if I had gone to a regular one. Thankfully I ended up going to an alternative school because my mental health was so poor, and they supported me really well.
After I graduated I got a retail job and it sucked to hell. Quit after a couple months. Fall was coming up so I decided to go to community college. Did that for a year as my mental health was once again rapidly declining, and then I just... Stopped attending.
I did nothing until I was 23. It was great at first. Thankfully my dad is very soft in the heart and while he would verbally worry about me, he also probably would have let me live with him doing nothing for the rest of my life. I loved playing video games all day and sleeping into the evening.
But as time went on, it started kind of sucking. I had no money, I stopped getting enjoyment out of doing anything other than playing games, my social anxiety got 500% worse, I gained a lot of weight, and worst of all, my relationship with my boyfriend was deteriorating.
I was in therapy for a bit, but she had to drop me due to her clinic no longer accepting my dad's insurance. My boyfriend, who lived with me and my dad, was kind and patient, but I could tell his patience and hope for me was wearing thin after a few years of me doing absolutely nothing to help myself.
At the end of 2021 (I think), I got on some meds that actually work pretty well for my anxiety. I also tried shrooms a few times, which made me realize a some things.
Firstly, that my greatest wish of moving out wasn't going to happen if I didn't do anything to make it happen. We wouldn't be able to live off my boyfriend's salary alone. Also, I wouldn't want him to have to work that much.
Second, that was what led me to the realization that my lack of drive was putting some strain on our relationship. Of course, he doesn't think not having a job is a bad thing, as evidenced by the fact that he stayed with me all throughout my ~4-5 years of neetdom. It's more about how he would have to work so much to sustain us if we ever wanted to leave.
And third, I... Wanted to do more than survive. I wanted to be able to afford to do things like take trips and eat sushi and live in a decent place. I'm a big Disney parks fan since I grew up with my parents taking me all the time, so I want to be able to keep going even into my adulthood. I know that sounds stupid to a lot of people, but it's important to me and part of what motivates me (I'm just autistic lmao don't worry I loathe Disney as a company)
During the summer of 2022, I decided (to the delight of my dad and boyfriend) that I would go back to community college. I signed up for one math class to ease myself back in.
To my surprise, it wasn't as bad as I remembered. The people around me were younger than me, but I'm still pretty young still and am often mistaken for a teenager, so that wasn't a problem for me. I didn't really socialize. The atmosphere of my college was too high school-like for me to feel comfortable socializing.
But the class itself was... Lowkey kinda fun? I realized that I actually enjoy learning math. And that was when, after also researching anxiety-friendly well paying jobs, I decided I would transfer to a university, where I would major in computer science and get a job programming or something like that.
I took another class in the winter, applied to the university as a transfer, and after some hassle, I'm incredibly happy to say that at 24 years old, I'm starting at the university this fall! My then boyfriend, now fiance and I decided we want to get married, AND we're moving out of my dad's house since the school is across the state. My tuition is being funded by grants and the housing is being funded by my wonderful, generous fiance, and we'll be moving out in less than a month!!
One of the weirdest things I've realized is that I was so, SO bored when I was neeting. Having things to do in the real world, goals to attain, actually made me feel like a real person. Like I wanted to go out into the world and like, do something. I also feel like I can enjoy video games and stuff a lot more now.
I'll always be supportive of neets, those who are neet by choice and those who aren't, and I'll never judge anyone for being one. But that life isn't for me anymore. I'm happy to have my tax dollars go to a neet who needs it more, and once I'm working, I want to let my fiance decide what he wants to do. If he wants to play vidya all day, that's fine, the goal is to make enough money for him to be able to do that. And if he wants to pursue college or something, I'll be able to support him financially.
Him and my dad are literally the only people in my life right now. My social anxiety got so bad as a need that I ended up cutting everyone off. I hope trying to make new friends ends up being worth it. And in college, I'll be sure to take on less of a workload/take breaks if I need to. I don't want to go back to the way things were.
Anyways, I know this is long as shit, and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it. Let me know your thoughts, questions, etc if you have any. Much love and wishing the best for everyone.
(Also just want to add that I realize how lucky I've been here. I'm by no means trying to say it's easy to stop being a neet, or that you should even have to at all. In a world where machines could do much of the work, there's no reason to force people to work if they don't want to or can't. I'm antiwork. My happiness lies not with becoming a wagecuck, but in being able to support my partner and be able to do things like move out and afford to go on vacation. Everyone finds their own happiness in life. If your happiness is being a neet, more power to you!)
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2023.05.28 17:16 Hermit_Light Ten Ways to Believe in Yourself
First, I'd just like to say that this subreddit is really refreshing. It's inspiring and heartwarming to see everyone encouraging one another in this supportive, non-toxic community. I also appreciate anyone who takes the time to share their struggles, because it takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and raw like that.
Here are some tips on how to believe in yourself that have helped me, and some I added in response to themes I've seen here. Maybe it will help some of you along your journey too.
Ten Ways to Believe in Yourself
1. Find what makes you special.
Some people think they have no gifts or strengths. I guarantee you this isn’t true. Sometimes you just have to do some soul-searching to find what makes you special. Usually, it’s the things that you are most passionate about and that give you the most joy. And truly, everyone is unique in their own way. There’s not a single person like you. If nothing else, find the beauty in that.
Do you have a role model? Anyone you look up to and admire? What if I told you that you are no less essential than the person you admire? The world needs what you have inside of you. More importantly, YOU need what you have inside of you. It is imperative for you to come alive. Believe this, because it's true.
2. Invest in your strengths, not your limitations.
There are always things we can improve upon, things we haven’t developed, and things that don’t come naturally to us that may come naturally to someone else. It’s easy to feel inadequate when we solely focus on the ways in which we feel we fall short. But doing this does not foster self-confidence; it destroys it. It’s all about what you choose to focus on. You can choose to focus on and invest in your perceived limitations, or celebrate and invest in the ways in which you are gifted and strong. Bathe in awe and gratitude for the things you are capable of. Feel how amazing that is. This promotes relaxation and self-love in the body which is a game changer.
Stop setting up limitations for yourself. You are not "too old" or "too young." Says who? It's never too late to bloom. These are arbitrary rules you or society has created and you have fully embraced as true. Maybe out of a fear of starting, but not because they are true. You're the only one who gets to create and decide what limitations you will accept, and which ones you won't. Start viewing yourself as the limitless creator of your reality. If you have a pulse, guess what? You're here for a reason and a purpose.
3. Don't judge your success by the external, material world.
Don't look to it as some measure of your worth. Success is not defined by things like money, attention, likes, titles, or social status. These are all illusions. If you are in your element, if you are in a state of flow, doing what you love to do, I guarantee you are making a difference even if you can't readily see it, and this is the true definition of success.
4. Do one thing that scares you every day — even if it’s just a little thing.
I don’t mean something reckless, or something that is so terrifying that it will trigger you in an unhealthy way. I mean take a safe, confidence-boosting risk. It doesn’t have to be something huge, it can be something small, even if it’s just building up the courage to try something new. You’ll be amazed by how much conquering your tiny anxieties will build your self-confidence. You’ll see that you’re stronger and more capable than you ever thought you were, because your actions will be the evidence. It’s hard not to believe in yourself when you have hard proof of your bravery. And nothing beats getting to tell yourself “I did that, even though I was scared! I am stronger than my fears!”
5. Don’t compare yourself to others, or some imagined, rigid mold you think you're supposed to fit into.
Your best should not be determined by another person’s best. You’re not in competition with anyone else. It’s just you against yourself. One person’s mountain will be another person’s hill. Your success should be defined by how hard something was for you to accomplish, not someone else.
Get rid of this idea that you're supposed to be at a certain place in life by a certain age, or that everyone but you has life all figured out. They don't. We're all just trying our best here to learn and grow and live our lives. There's no list that exists that says you failed in life because you don't know how to do x, y or z yet, or you're lacking in certain experiences. This places way too much unnecessary pressure on yourself. You know the saying, "You are a human being, not a human doing"? It applies here. So start with changing the way your heart beats (the way you feel), and the rest will come naturally.
6. Don’t try to be perfect; approach things with an attitude of playfulness.
Perfection is an illusion that doesn’t exist. There is only your best. If you fear starting things because you fear they won’t be good enough, don’t try to be good. Simply try. When you try too hard to be perfect, you rob yourself of the joy that comes from the learning process and even from being messy and making mistakes.
Remember when you were a kid and you didn’t pay one thought to how good something was because you were so lost in the pleasure of play? Return to that state. Do something because it’s a new experience that will teach you something. You don’t become a master of something overnight. The point is to have fun expressing yourself. Life is hard enough as it is without us constantly censoring ourselves. Allow yourself the freedom that comes with raw, uninhibited self-expression.
7. Change your perspective on failure.
Now let's talk about the dreaded "f" word: failure. Failure is not a dead end. At least not in the way we think it is. We tend to turn it into one - maybe as another manufactured limitation. Failure is your friend. It is an opportunity and a challenge. It is showing you where you need to adjust and evolve your approach. One person's failure is another person's "aha" moment. Try to view it as a necessary part of the process and journey. Without any obstacles, life wouldn't be much of an adventure anyway, and where would be the fun in that? The best things in life are so satisfying because you earned them through your continual effort. You proved to yourself that you didn't give up despite the setbacks.
8. Remind yourself of the times when you doubted yourself and you turned out to be right.
Sometimes our mind has a way of turning against us. When we get stuck on a false belief about ourselves, it’s easy to fall into confirmation bias where we only look for past examples when we trusted ourselves and we turned out being wrong. It’s unlikely that you have been wrong in every scenario. Counter this false belief by looking for the ways in which you have also been right. This will help you build back trust in yourself.
9. Surround yourself with people who believe in you.
Maybe it goes without saying, but too many people keep people in their lives who do nothing but constantly tear their self-esteem down, which is not to be confused with friends who offer constructive criticism and accountability. It can make you feel crazy to have someone doubt you constantly, and it’s easy to internalize those voices if you don’t have a strong sense of self yet.
That being said, be mindful of the people who you let influence you. If you can, surround yourself with people who really see you, know your gifts and beauty and can encourage you and remind you of those things when you fail to see them yourself. Other people aren’t meant to replace our own inner voice, but they can help us see ourselves better. People act as mirrors for us in that way.
10. Improve your self-talk
Bouncing off the last point here - a lot of us wind up unconsciously internalizing destructive voices early in life -- whether it be a parent, a teacher, a bully or someone else. It can take time to heal from this and retrain the way we talk to ourselves, and you will need to be patient with yourself, but the main point here is that you're basically learning to parent yourself.
Talk to yourself as you would if you were your own child. If you don't like this tone or approach, then talk to yourself as if you were your own friend -- gentle and compassionate. Validate your own feelings. For example, you're having a bad day, and you made a mistake, instead of beating yourself up by calling yourself mean names, you can say something to yourself like, "I see you're having a bad day, and made a mistake. It's because you've been under a lot of pressure lately. It's okay. You need to relax and take a breath."
It might sound simple or silly, but the way you talk to yourself can make all the difference between how you feel about yourself which in turn, can redirect your life.
submitted by Hermit_Light
to selfimprovement [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 17:15 The_Dragon-Mage HELP on 'upgrading' an image without losing it's substance.
The question is straightforward. My art skills are about medium, I can draw what's in my head, but I can't always realize it's full potential. I first started trying out generative AI's when I saw what other people were doing with img2img, putting in some blurbs of color and then getting out a masterpiece. What I didn't realize is that most of these examples, while impressive on a surface level, require that the original drawing is literally just some blurbs, and the output only really mimics the input in a barely recognizable way.
So when I took one of my art pieces, say, This one
, and put it into stable diffusion, I'll get out something like this
. You can see how the original image influenced it, but the pose is gone, the character is gone, what made it a specific character, is lost.
What I'm hoping to be able to do is something like what you see in this tutorial: stable diffusion img2img
, where you put in the image, and what you get out is basically the same character, (or at least the differences can be fixed without much issue) but... better drawn. I would love it if someone could recommend me a specific program, or specific website, with specific instructions. The example I used above is from a program I downloaded a few months ago, SDimage generator, and so I'm hoping that since then, models and UI have improved. Thanks for any help.
submitted by The_Dragon-Mage
to StableDiffusion [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 17:14 Outrageous_Neat_6232 Maladaptive Day Dreaming saved my life
My journey with maladaptive daydreaming, which ultimately helped me reshape my reality, is one that still amazes me. I was born into a comfortable lifestyle, thanks to my diligent immigrant parents from India. We were by no means extravagantly wealthy, but I would categorize us as comfortably upper-middle-class. As an only child, I was blessed with both material comforts and emotional support, particularly from my mother, while my father was often tied up with work. I had a blissful childhood, filled with positivity—after all, what did I lack to be anything but happy?
Teachers praised my upbeat energy, and I was adored by my peers. This positive ambiance continued until high school, and that's when my world flipped upside down. With adolescence came an intense focus on appearances. While I was of an above-average build, two things changed the way people perceived me: my distinctive greenish dark skin tone and my short stature, measuring at 5'2".
Suddenly, I was facing harsh judgments based on my appearance. Once friends, the popular kids began mocking me with stereotypes, using phrases like "tech support" or calling me Ravi. Teachers' empathy seemed to have dwindled and I was held to a stricter standard than my peers. Some girls, although a small percentage but significant enough for my teen mind, judged me instantly and even labeled my father unfairly.
Even though I was aware of my privileged background, I couldn't shake off the belief that I was "ugly". To counter this, I tried to play up my jovial personality, but its appeal seemed to wane as I aged. That's when I found solace in maladaptive daydreaming.
In my dreams, I visualized myself as a taller, white man who commanded respect. I even started using an English/American name in classes to fully immerse myself in this fantasy. Gradually, I began to adopt the mannerisms and personalities of these imaginary figures, ensuring I emulated only the admirable traits and avoiding any hint of misogyny or ignorance.
My fantasies weren't limited to mere mannerisms—I aspired to be those white men. I indulged in activities like skiing, hockey, horse riding, and lacrosse, all the while maintaining my STEM foundation. I underwent skin-lightening procedures, adopted their hairstyles, and even opted for cosmetic surgery. The result? I started resembling a mixed-race individual.
Still, hobbies were not enough. I decided to mimic their lifestyle, from their high-paying jobs to their sophisticated vernacular, even down to their attire. My transformation was surprisingly effective. Though not everyone altered their perception of me, a substantial number began appreciating my unique blend of intellect, athleticism, and charisma.
Fast forward a few years, I have made considerable progress. While I haven't found romantic love yet, I have a wealth of friendships, a comfortable income from my STEM background and interest in sales/banking, a beautiful home, and the luxury to pursue my interests such as traveling and various hobbies.
The desire to materialize my fantasies has greatly shaped my life. I have managed to harness maladaptive daydreaming, insecurities, and ambition to propel myself in this competitive world. The absence of a romantic partner has been significantly compensated by the enriching experiences I have had with friends and family.
I have come to appreciate the beauty of my ethnic features, though I had to change outwardly due to societal biases. I take pride in my appearance now, with a few cosmetic enhancements and skin-lightening procedures. In a way, I likened my transformation to women wearing makeup or styling their hair—it's about enhancing appeal and it did work for me.
Despite the initial insecurity, I have leveraged it to drive myself to where I am now. And that's the story, I used this disorder to leverage my own reality.
submitted by Outrageous_Neat_6232
to MaladaptiveDreaming [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 17:14 AdExcellent1270 [D] Models for unstructured text-to-table
Sorry if this isn’t the right place to be asking but googling only gets me so far with this one.
I’m wondering if anyone can point me to any papers/sites that discuss using LLMs to convert unstructured text into structured data tables? GPT-4 does this very well given its ability to understand context but I’m wondering if this is the best option for this kind of thing.
I’m working on auditing large quantities of unstructured free-text and automatically converting to structured data tables. An example may be a damage report for a house that’s written in free text, or medical documents which will discuss diagnoses (and may read, eg “I think this is unlikely condition X but can’t rule out until further investigations are made”, which is where context understanding is important).
Just trying to find a launching point. I’ve looked at simple Embeddings but seems that you lose a fair amount of context so it may not pick up nuances when requiring strict output. I’m not even sure if LLMs are overkill for this kind of thing but they seem like the appropriate solution.
Thanks in advance
submitted by AdExcellent1270
to MachineLearning [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 17:13 lapingvino A plea for cohesivism - taking responsibility together
What do we want society to be?
We grow up in a world with narratives. Some of those narratives become ideologies, and those ideologies inform political parties and the stories they tell to stick to power. We are told that capitalism means freedom because it is based on a free market system. We are told that society is made up of different groups. Black and white, rich and poor. And that these groups don't mix.
We all KNOW that the world doesn't really work this way. When we want to solve problems with our friends we don't pick from a set of ideologies. We get together and we talk it out. That is the only proven way that works.
So why do we have a society that gets rid of the only proven way that works instead of using it to its full potential?
Why are we creating a world that increases distance by its designs? Why do we rely on systems that attribute responsibility to power?
A person called Apo for short had this same experience. He grew up as a Kurd in Turkey and turned to socialism to fight the injustice in the world. And he discovered it doesn't work. Not because of a lack of good ideas. Many ideas of socialism are amazing and make even the most capitalist countries tick. No, it doesn't work because of strive and opposition. Socialist movements are in constant opposition and are built on opposition. To the richer classes, to the oppressing class and to themselves. The plethora of opinions is good, amazing even. But it's not good that we don't have a stable community to draw on.
Apo didn't stop there. He developed an alternative that is working right now in the region often called Rojava. Wikipedia calls it Apoism or "democratic confederalism". That is quite a long name and doesn't really cover a lot of elements at its core. For example the name doesn't tell you that it's basically an anarchist system with a fractalic structure, that it is built on top of the current law system of Syria but guarantees human rights, reproductive rights, religious freedom and much more essential elements of society. That Turkey tries to overthrow it, but can't, because there is no one in charge to get rid of. It's a society really run by the people.
My religion is the Bahá'í faith and it has a very similar approach for its administrative system. We get together regularly, have a yearly democratic vote without campaigning out of all people of voting age based on their capability to do their administrative tasks, and during the regular meetings we talk together about our needs and task the administrative system to do things if that turns out to be necessary. The local level also votes for delegates for a yearly meeting that votes for the national system, and the national level votes for the worldwide level based on the same principles.
I think we need to be able to provide an alternative for a political system that is literally not made to care about people. We need to focus on our local communities first, make them save and care about each other and about what is missing, and work towards a society that can take responsibility for the whole earth instead of only having the blame game as a real option to resort to.
I want a world that is capable of making its own choices. I want a world that is actually grown up instead of electing babies that treat us like babies.
That is what I propose under the name cohesivism. I know this is not much of a description, and it's honestly not in the spirit of cohesivism to have a full description. Let's develop together what it should be. But above all, let's turn away from a world where we care more about fighting each other than caring and developing our world.
submitted by lapingvino
to cohesivism [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 17:13 IrisesAndLilacs Meltwich in the Grantham Plaza now open!
I went last night. It was only day two for them being open. There were a couple of tables, but it’s clearly meant for more take out.
It’s a bit different. Everything is made fresh at the time of order. It’s something where you need to expect a 10-20 minute wait for your food to be ready.
Food was good! Ordered a poutine (~$10) and had lots of gravy and cheese curds. A tasty bacon and avocado and pesto grilled cheese and a burger with Mac and cheese and little thin grilled cheeses for buns. Entrees were around $15ish. Sides were not included in the price.
Each day has a different special running. I could have added a Saturday special side for $3. People seemed nice. Obviously still learning the menu and system at this stage.
submitted by IrisesAndLilacs
to stcatharinesON [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 17:13 Mortimer_Whimsiwick World Hunger Games: 17th Hunger Games: Bloodbath + Day 1
This year’s arena was known as the Everglades. It was a swamp environment spanning four kilometers, making this slightly smaller than the vast savannah of the previous games. The arena was littered with tall mossy trees thin enough for tributes to climb. The high density of the trees along with the thick canopy of foliage above trapped a lot of heat within. There was some debate regarding the amount of water to be pumped in the arena. Due to Head Gamemaker’s preconceived ideas on the mutts and arena events, the crystal-clear swamp water that encompassed 80% of the arena was 15ft at its deepest. There were patches of raised grassland scattered throughout the arena, giving tributes a few areas of relief from the deep waters. The cornucopia stood in the center of a small clearing with the podiums in a semicircle near the southern perimeter. The depth of the water was ankle height, the gamemakers not wanting to hinder the tribute’s movements for the bloodbath. There were a decent number of supplies, however all food and non-weaponous supplies were stored in dark green waterproof bags floating in the puddles. Traditional Hunger Games weapons were also seen floating in the puddles and propped inside the small cornucopia structure.
When the podiums rose out of the arena, tributes felt the humid heat weigh down on them. A few tributes were relieved by the aquatic setting, especially the District 4 tributes. Pearl was wedged between Laurel (7) and Logan (11). She felt intimidated by Laurel’s muscles and decided to ignore her in favour of scanning for escape routes. After pinpointing two routes with more tree cover, she scanned the lineup for Mortimer. She spotted him between Wren (5) and Jack. He noticed Jack and gave him a greeting. Jack asked if it was true Tobias Stephens was dead, him nodding in response. Mortimer said “If it’s all the same to you, I’ll leave you alone for now. Just out of respect for Tobias and for helping deliver the weed to me.” Jack thanked him before searching for Cat. Cat was found standing between Nikita (2) and Neutron (12). Nikita tried to intimidate her, but she brushed it aside. She spotted Mortimer and Jack conversing, pleased it wasn’t confrontational. Mortimer spotted her and she waved to him. He stared at her for a moment before turning his eyes to the cornucopia. She looked at the cornucopia as well, aiming her sights on one of the bigger waterproof bags.
When the gong sounded, Cat sprinted forward towards the bag she set her eyes on. Nikita attempted to tackle her to the ground, but Cat was quick enough to somersault out of the way. She frantically searched for a way out, choosing to run northwest away from the careers. However, she spotted Pearl fighting Mishti (10) for a bag. Mishti was successful at obtaining the bag and pushed Pearl to the ground before grabbing a knife nearby. Cat bolted towards the two girls, hopping over the fallen Burlap (8)’s body. Before Mishti could strike Pearl with her knife, Cat tackled her to the ground. Cat pushed Mishti’s face under the ankle high water and used her knee to keep her head down. She wrenched the knife and pushed the blade into the back of her skull. She looked up to see Pearl already gone. She turned to see a sword propped against the cornucopia wall and decided to risk it.
Meanwhile, Jack hopped off his podium but was swept off his feet by the slippery mud. He frantically pulled himself up, but was relieved that all the nearby tributes were completely ignoring him. He witnessed the first death of the games when Andrei (2) stomped on Terry (5)’s neck, snapping it in an odd angle. He ran alongside the podiums to steer clear of the ongoing chaos all the while searching for Cat. He managed to spot her closing in on a sword. He ran towards her, unaware of an arrow courtesy of Jassy (12) narrowly missing his head. As he neared Cat, he noticed Logan (11) creeping closer to her with a heavy axe in hand. He yelled at Cat to look out, but she didn’t hear. Logan raised his axe at the unaware Cat. Jack jumped forward and pushed Cat out of the line of fire. The axe lodged itself into Jack’s head, sending him falling to the ground. Cat was horrified upon seeing her partner brutally killed in front of her. She decided she let his sacrifice not be in vain and retreated from the clearing with a bag and sword in hand.
Mortimer was one of the first to reach the cornucopia. He snatched a trident from the back of the cornucopia structure. He turned to exit the building only to come face to face with Laurel (7). She had an axe in her hand and voiced her intentions of killing him for her partner Wolvthorne (7). Mortimer warned her to get out of his way, but she charged forwards. Mortimer used his trident to catch her first swipe, pushing her backwards. He swung the trident, cutting Laurel’s face. She was unperturbed and tried striking him. This time, he dodged and thrust the end of his trident in her ribs. He used her brief moment of painful staggering to stab her in the head. He flung her body to the side like a ragdoll and ran back outside. He noticed two bags close together and decided to risk grabbing them. He scooped up both bags with his trident, with one hanging on each side before retreating. He fell to the ground after tripping over the corpse of Shoya (3). As he pulled himself up, he noticed Pearl hiding behind a tree beckoning him to follow her. As he ran, he heard Wolvthorne’s roars of anger after discovering his partner dead. So angry in fact that he managed to disembowel and kill Nikita (2) before escaping east.
When the bloodbath was over, Artemis and Luther followed the order of events. Artemis enjoyed this bloodbath as not only did they have a couple gory kills, but some rare moments of honor. Luther listed Terry (5) as the first death at the hands of Andrei (2), comparing it to the first kill of the 12th Hunger Games when Sparta (D2 female tribute) curb stomped Fleming (D6 male tribute). Cameras then spotted Burlap (8) stabbed in the eye by Olivine (1), making him the second death. On the opposite side was Shoya (3), whose throat was slit by Lionel (1). The next chronological death was Mishti (10), with Artemis wondering why Cat saved Pearl. Luther speculated that they were probably in an alliance. The fifth death was Laurel (7). Artemis felt bummed out to not see more of her as she seemed like victor material. The sixth and seventh deaths took place almost simultaneously. Number six was Neutron (12) after he was stabbed numerous times by Andrei (2). Two seconds afterwards was the death of Jack. Artemis declared his death as honorable and as a redemption from his disastrous interview. The last two kills of this year’s bloodbath were Ryetta (9) and Nikita (2). Ryetta was killed by Lionel when she jumped on his back and tried to gouge his eyes out. Lionel wrenched her off by the hair and bashed her head into the cornucopia structure. Artemis then moved to Nikita’s death and described Wolvthorne as savage. Luther wrapped the bloodbath analysis up and announced nine bloodbath kills, two more than the previous year.
Cat continued to create distance from the clearing. She followed as much grassland as possible, having to wade through the water at a few points. Suddenly, she came across a wide expanse of water with no land in sight. She slipped on a loose twig and fell to the ground at the edge of this lake. Her backpack spilled its contents upon impact, its contents consisting of a sandwich, four fruit packs, a pocket knife, a bottle of water, string, and a small medkit. The thoughts of losing the items she fought so hard for sent her in a panic. She reached out and tried to gather as much as she could. However, she failed to save the sandwich, the knife, and three of the fruit packets as they all sank below its depths.
After saving the rest of her items, she realized her hyperventilating continued. She crossed her legs and put her supplies to the side. The confused viewers in Maximus Square watched as she took deep methodical breaths while moving her arms up and down. They began to realize she was meditating in order to compose herself. Viewers watched as the gamemakers displayed her heart rate and the number slowly decrease. Soon, Cat was able to compose herself. She decided to inspect her remaining supplies, keeping her sword by her side. She opened the medkit and was disappointed by the lack of quantity. It consisted of one roll of medical tape, two bandages, and strangely a wax bottle of clear liquid. She inspected the label, which revealed the contents to be hydrogen peroxide. She took note of this and pocketed the medkit, string, and the one fruit pack.
Cat lastly picked up the water bottle and realized it to be empty. She internally debated collecting water from the lake in front of her. She cautiously dipped a couple fingers in the lake and then tasted the droplets on her fingertips. Tasting nothing out of sorts, she picked up her water bottle. She was interrupted by the mandatory cannons, signaling the end of the bloodbath. Cat quickly scanned her surroundings while carefully listening for tributes. After hearing nothing, she turned back to the water and felt her heart drop. The once clear water had now become cloudy and murky. Cat became dejected, knowing she couldn’t trust the water anymore. She let tears fall from her eyes for a few moments, mourning her dreadful situation. Artemis was about to tease her crying, when she was interrupted by Cat slapping herself in the face. Cat told herself aloud that she had to get it together and plan her next move. She continued to scan the lake and her surroundings. She noticed a near consistent path of grassland heading west around the lake. She decided to head that direction, whispering to herself that “sailor boy” was sure to head that direction. She packed her things and started her journey west along the lake’s borders, with her sword at the ready.
Back in the commentator’s booth, Artemis noted her determination to find the District 4 tributes, speculating whether she had a crush on Mortimer. Luther diverted the topic to the lake. He educated the audience on the layout of the lake, showing through schematics that it spanned at least 35% of the entire arena. At the end of the lake was a thick accumulation of trees and brush the cameras refused to go past. When he and Artemis questioned Head Gamemaker Grimstone, he told them there was a hidden surprise on the possibility a tribute figures out a way across.
The two hosts began checking tabs on the surviving tributes. Olivine and Lionel (1) had split from the clearing and were in the south eastern sector. They watched from the safety of a couple trees as Andrei (2) and Wolvthorne (7) gathered supplies at the cornucopia. Surprisingly, Andrei was indifferent to his new ally having killed Nikita. The two debated their next move, Wolvthorne desiring to find Mortimer for revenge. Andrei admitted that while he was their biggest threat, he would have to put his grievances aside for them to survive the arena. Cameras diverted their attention to Carnelia and Logan (11) as they neared the southeastern perimeter. In close proximity was Horace (10) who was stalking them, using the trees and small mud banks as cover. Vista (3) had climbed up a tree and rested there. Wren (5) had struck up an alliance with Jassy (12) when the two crossed paths in the centre of the arena. Peggy (8) reached the northern perimeter and planted roots at the shore of the lake. John (9) had retreated west and was camouflaging himself with mud. He was nearly seen by Cat minutes into her trek west, but decided against confronting her upon seeing her sword. Artemis urged Luther to point the cameras to the District 4 tributes, which he obliged.
Mortimer had successfully distanced himself from the cornucopia. Cameras captured him diverting the supplies from one of his two backpacks into the other, discarding the empty one in the mud. It was around this time when the cannons sounded. The combined supplies included an empty water bottle, three fruit packs, a sandwich, a bundle of sturdy rope, a sleeping bag, and a small cooking pot. He was half a kilometre away from the lake’s southwest shore when he stopped walking. He turned around and asked the forest if hiding from him was really necessary. Pearl stepped out from behind a tree, asking how he knew she was there. He claimed that he spotted her dirty blonde hair poking out. He asked why she was hiding from him. Pearl asked if he was going to kill her. Mortimer was confused by this and questioned why he would kill her. Pearl defended herself by pointing out how much he hated accepting help from others and thought he would go lone wolf. Mortimer rolled his eyes, muttering “This again” under his breath. He put his right hand up and solemnly swore he wouldn’t kill her, for Gill’s sake. Pearl cautiously stepped out and thanked him. He asked what she had in her bag. She showed her contents, seeing a rain poncho, a water bottle, two apples, and a flint and steel.
Mortimer revealed his contents as well, noting the emptiness of the bottles. He suggested they continue going west, but Pearl pointed at a tall tree nearby. She said she would climb it and get a good vantage point. Mortimer didn’t object as she marched over to the tree and began climbing. While she was climbing higher, cameras noticed how antsy Mortimer was. In the commentator’s booth, Artemis said it appeared as if he was tempted to ditch her. Luther agreed with her observation, but didn’t believe he would just yet. Pearl reached seven metres in height and began surveying the arena. She reported to Mortimer that everything looked the same until she looked northwest and spotted the lake. Mortimer declared they would go there. She agreed and the two began their journey.
Out of nowhere, Pearl asked if he had anything against her father Alexander Riverstone. Mortimer claimed he didn’t and thought he was an honest working man. She retorted by asking for his reason to not accept his or anyone else’s help. Mortimer became annoyed by hearing this question for the umpteenth time, but Pearl insisted he explain. She already heard the story from Gill and wanted to hear his perspective, explaining, “After years of waitressing and hearing all the gossip, I’ve learned there is always another side.” Mortimer sighed and admitted he should’ve accepted his and Gill’s help as they had no gain in doublecrossing him. He cited his mother’s abandonment and the resulting playground bullying as the cornerstone reasons for him not trusting others. Pearl asked how old his mother was when she left, him answering six. Viewers weren’t aware of this detail and felt bad for him.
Before Pearl could press for more, the two had arrived at the lake. They noticed the murkiness of the water and surmised that it was unsafe to drink. Mortimer wondered how it was murky when it was crystal clear earlier. Pearl said she noticed the water became cloudy the second the cannons sounded, deducing that the water will become much more unsafe to drink as the death toll increases. The commentators and gamemakers were impressed with her accurate deduction but pointed out it was Jassy (12) who discovered it first though in a joking manner. Pearl however was more curious about the smell, comparing it to the sewage port at the Cardiff Cliffs. Mortimer agreed and pondered over what to do next.
Pearl climbed up another tree and spotted the stretching shoreline. Mortimer hypothesised how due to the unnatural shape and location of the lake, along with recent Hunger Games trends, there could be something in the northwestern sector on the other side. Pearl sarcastically commented, “Add a boat to the list of things we desperately need.” Mortimer’s eyes lit up and said, “Why not make our own?”, pointing out how they could construct a raft out of the sturdier trees and tie them together with rope, adding that being on the lake would keep them far from other tributes. Pearl admitted it was a good plan, but considered water as the utmost priority. When asked to test the water, Pearl gagged on the taste. Mortimer pulled out his pot and gave it to Pearl, telling her to start a fire.
Around the time Mortimer started his raft project, Cat was taking a break from all the trudging through the damp grassland. She held her only fruit pack in her fingertips and stared at it for several minutes. Viewers could tell she was speculating on whether or not to eat it. She decided against it and put it back in her backpack. She watched the still lake while licking her cracked lips to keep them moist. She dipped two of her fingers into the cloudy water and tasted the droplets. She instantly gagged and spit them out, using her sleeve to wipe her mouth. She then broke off a button from the backpack and stuck it in her mouth. Luther seemed impressed by this, educating the audience on this unique practice of preventing dry mouth.
Cat decided her break was over and stood up with supplies in tow. Suddenly, she heard voices coming from behind her. She listened carefully and recognized the voice of Olivine and Lionel (1). Cameras showed the two bypassing Andrei (2) and Wolvthorne (7) after the two journeyed north to hunt for tributes. While raiding the cornucopia, Olivine played with a pair of binoculars and spotted Pearl in the tree. The two decided to go after her. Cat frantically searched for a place to hide. There were no nearby upright trees and she didn’t have enough time to camouflage herself in the mud. So, in desperation, she burrowed her backpack in the mudbank and waded herself into the lake. Cat ducked her head underwater just in time for Olivine and Lionel to reveal themselves. Many viewers in Maximus Square were at the edge of their seats as the two careers initially began walking past Cat’s location. The situation was filled with more tension when the two stopped before moving out of sight. The two discussed their plan of confronting Pearl, knowing Mortimer is most likely with her. Lionel assured her that the two could take him together. Underwater cameras captured Cat’s face as she struggled to hold her breath. Based on the quality of the cameras’ footage, it appeared that Cat was able to overhear their conversation. Just when it looked like Cat was about to give up, the two careers finally resumed their journey west.
Cat thrust herself out of the water, taking in deep breaths. Supporters of Cat in Maximus Square breathed out in relief as well. Cat dragged herself to shore and flipped herself on her back. She laid there for a few moments catching her breath and wiping the mud off her face. When she held her arm up, she noticed a black spot on her forearm. She grabbed it, pulled it off, and turned it towards her. She instantly recognized it from its sucker and rows of teeth, straight from her studies in the fauna sector in the aquatic station. It was a black worm leech, a relatively new species introduced to the world through the crossbreeding of the European medicinal leech and the terrestrial leech. Cat’s face morphed into one of pure disgust and fright. It took all her inner strength not to scream when she looked down and counted eleven leeches on her legs and forearms. She shakily ripped the leeches off her body one by one, lip quivering as she did so. She tossed the leeches aside and crab-walked away from the shore.
Cat sat on a log for almost an hour, traumatized by the experience. After composing herself, she grabbed her backpack and was about to leave when she recalled Olivine and Lionel’s plan. Realizing Pearl and Mortimer were in danger, she pulled out her empty water bottle. Capital viewers were confused at first, expecting her to “run for the hills”. Their confusion turned to interest as Cat scooped up the leeches and put them inside her bottle along with some of the lakewater. In the commentator’s booth, Artemis was holding herself, cringing at the sight of the leeches. She wondered why Cat would pick them back up. Luther guessed she would use them either to help her allies or food, noting that the leeches were edible. Artemis squealed at the thought. As Cat was about to start moving again, a cannon sounded. It was revealed to be Vista (3) after she climbed down from her tree and decided to bathe in the river. She was also overtaken by leeches and screamed very loudly at the sight of them. Andrei (2) and Wolvthorne (7) heard her screams and found her writhing on the ground swiping at the leeches on her body. Andrei ended her suffering by plunging his sword into her head.
Two hours passed by without incident. Capital viewers still had some nuggets of tribute activity to entertain them. Carnelia and Logan (11) had successfully captured a handful of leeches and were attempting to cook them. Their stalker Horace (10) watched from nearby. The biggest area of interest was with the District 4 tributes and the approaching careers increasing the suspense in Maximus Square. While Mortimer was beginning the construction of the raft, Pearl boiled some water in the pot. She noticed her partner testing his rope on the logs he acquired and showing disappointment with it not being enough to secure the full measurements.
While the water boiled, Pearl gathered the moss growing off the trees and weaved some twine together. She tossed the twine to Mortimer and told him to test it out. She rolled her eyes at the look of skepticism on his face. She challenged him by asking why he was skeptical over some twine. Mortimer claimed he wasn’t suspicious of any malintent but was wondering why she would make it for him. Pearl simply stated, “We’re partners aren’t we?” Mortimer thanked her and tested the twine. He was satisfied with its durability and asked if she could make more. Pearl beckoned him to come to the fire. He walked over and was perplexed by the sight before him. The water still resembled the murky lake water. Pearl claimed she left the water to boil for ten minutes. Mortimer stuck his fingers taste tested it and spat it out in disgust. He said it wasn’t as bad tasting as the lakewater, but was still unsafe to drink. Frustrated, he went back to his raft while Pearl resumed making twine.
The two were unaware that Olivine and Lionel (1) were very close by and were able to pinpoint their location after hearing them talking. Lionel stepped forward and peeked his head behind a tree, ready to approach the unsuspecting Pearl. Pearl lifted her head to wipe the sweat off her face and was horrified to see him towering over her. She screamed at the top of her lungs and sprinted off not a second later. Lionel chased after her and swung his sword down toward her. Pearl shut her eyes preparing for the end, but only heard a single metallic thud. She opened her eyes to see the sword blocked by Mortimer’s trident.
Mortimer barked at Pearl to get behind him and she obeyed. Olivine made herself known brandishing a sword as well, having failed to secure a bow in the bloodbath. The arena and Maximus Square were quiet as the tributes slowly circled each other, Mortimer and Pearl taking measures to not be surrounded by their adversaries. Mortimer tried to make Olivine the closer enemy, knowing she was not nearly as experienced with a sword as Lionel. What he didn't know was she still had decent skills with the sword due to it being her "secondary weapon" that she decided to hide during training. Lionel swung first once again, his blade being caught by the trident. Olivine stepped in to strike while Mortimer was distracted. However, he spotted her and smacked her across the face with the back of the handle. She fell back into the water but before he could take advantage, Lionel went back on the offence.
The next three minutes kept the Capital at the edge of their seat. The two were evenly matched and trapped in a cycle of attack, block, and retaliation all while Pearl watched on, frozen to her spot. Lionel got his sword caught in the trident for the eighth time, but surprised everyone by twisting the blade downwards, pushing the prongs down and exposing Mortimer’s head. Lionel kept twisting in hopes Mortimer would drop his weapon, but he persisted. Just when it seemed like Mortimer was about to give up, he headbutted Lionel, dazing him long enough to free his weapon. Then in a swift motion, Mortimer thrust his trident up Lionel’s chin into his brain, sounding his cannon instantly.
Mortimer couldn’t celebrate for long as he heard Olivine charging towards him. She sliced at him in a frenzy, managing to cut his right eyebrow. She used this distraction to punch him in the face. Mortimer stumbled back a few inches, surprised by the power in her punch. Olivine brought her sword up high, ready to strike him down. Mortimer gave her a powerful uppercut, sending Olivine back three feet. The punch caused her to bite through her tongue, it falling to the ground. Olivine moaned in muffled agony at the sight of it on the floor as her mouth filled with blood. Mortimer thrust the trident in her chest. Suddenly, someone came rushing into the small clearing. It was Cat, having finally arrived to help Mortimer. She paused at the carnage laid before her and put her sword down. She said, “Guess you didn’t need help then.” Olivine’s cannon sounded seconds later.
The viewers in Maximus Square went crazy, cheering for Mortimer’s triumphant victory. In the commentator’s booth, Artemis and Luther were buzzing as well, the latter declaring this as one of the greatest fight sequences in the history of the Hunger Games. Historic documents reflected that sentiment as well. The cheering quickly died down, waiting to see his reaction to Cat’s sudden arrival. Mortimer furrowed his brows and backed her into a tree, saying, “You! You’ve been following us?!” Cat put her hands up and apologized for scaring him. She asked to at least explain herself. Pearl came to her defense and pleaded with him to hear her out. Mortimer relented and told her to spill.
Cat regaled her experiences so far, revealing the leeches’ existence and how she found them. Pearl rummaged through her things and pulled out the water bottle, but Cat warned her about the leeches inside. Pearl looked inside and identified the species, revealing they were edible. She walked towards the fire with the bottle. Cat turned back to Mortimer and told him, “I know you are reluctant to trust me, especially considering where we are. But seeing that I helped you with your training score and have something valuable to share, I think you need me as an ally.” Back in the Capital, Artemis said she admired Cat’s guts while Luther expressed interest in the dynamic they’re about to see, confident Mortimer would say yes. Mortimer looked back at Pearl inspecting the leeches, then the open backpack. He relented and accepted her invitation into the group, but warned he would end her if she did anything remotely bad.
Mortimer invited her to sit down by the campsite and go over what they learned. The small fire burnt out and Pearl was trying and failing to reignite it. Cat finally picked up on the rotten egg smell emanating throughout the arena. Mortimer noticed as well, claiming it was worse than before. Pearl asked if they noticed how it became worse the minute the careers died. The two were silent and realised she was right. Pearl speculated that not only will the water be rendered more undrinkable each death, but the smell will get worse. Cat compared the smell to the piles of feces left in Willard Alleyway by warmweed addicts and alcoholics. Mortimer suddenly had an epiphany. He realized that the rotten egg smell meant traces of flammable sulphur were present. Cat suggested they search for the source of the smell before it gets dark. The three fanned out. The search for the rotten smell garnered some moments of comedy. Viewers were laughing at the tributes picking up random objects and bringing them to their faces, left in tears at their disgusted facial expressions. It was ultimately Pearl who discovered the source, having explored the lake shore and found the source to be green algae barely touching the surface. She held her breath while collecting some and handing it to Mortimer. He wringed it off as much water as possible before shooting sparks at it with the flint and steel. After several tries, the algae ignited.
A fire was successfully crafted, and the trio resumed boiling the water. Cat speculated why boiling it wasn’t enough, recalling how it worked for Corpse Beckford in the 10th Hunger Games. Pearl suddenly squealed and stood up. One of the leeches escaped the bottle and began squirming on the ground. Mortimer picked it up and examined the creature. He noticed how sticky his fingertips were, his facing morphing into what Artemis coined as the “thinking face”. Mortimer used the tip of his trident to scrape some of the slime and thrust it into the pot. Cat was about to protest, but Mortimer recalled the species of leech and that it resided in the Rocky Shores neighborhood. He explained how the poorer citizens of District 4 would use the slime of discarded leeches to better purify dirty water. Cat commended him for noticing this and offered to ration the food for dinner. Pearl continued to create twine for the raft, but cameras noticed her constantly watching the nearby trees.
The sun was nearly out of sight and the water was still not fully purified. Mortimer was frustrated that the slime wasn’t enough. Cat told him to calm down and assured him they would figure it out. Pearl was still making twine for the raft when she cut herself with a tiny splinter entangled in the moss. Cat grabbed the first aid kit to bandage the wound before it became infected. Mortimer commented how he wasn’t aware therapists needed to know first aid. Cat responded, “Well, in a district full of addicts, you get a lot of practice.” Pearl asked her why she wanted to be a therapist like Phoebe. Cat explained how she used to be one of the young “zombies” hanging out in Willard Alleyway experimenting with new batches of warmweed. One day when she was thirteen, she had a respiratory attack. Her supposed friends were indifferent to her predicament and fled when Phoebe and peacekeeper escorts walked by. Phoebe spotted her, brought her to the hospital, and took care of her. In the commentator’s booth, Artemis was curious as to why she was dredging up traumatic experiences so nonchalantly. Luther guessed she truly moved past it and told her to keep listening. Cat further described a long conversation she had with Phoebe and how much it changed her life. After that, Cat strongly desired to get clean and was successful after nine arduous months. This was the part where Cat began to feel emotional. Cat explained that she wanted to help others get clean the same way she did, so no more kids are left to die in alleyways. She then revealed that when her mother died of an overdose, it was enough to convince her brother to get clean as well after years of begging. After years of dealing with erratic addicts, she claimed that no one scared her anymore, not even Mortimer. Mortimer apologised for being cross with her before, receiving an accepting smile in return.
While Cat bandaged Pearl’s wound, Mortimer noticed the small bottle of hydrogen peroxide. He examined it and put some droplets in the water. Suddenly, the cloudy substance in the water completely cleared. The three stared in amazement. Pearl asked who would test it first. Mortimer looked at Cat, who annoyedly said, “Fine I’ll do it.” She took a sip and said it tasted like water. After a few moments of no effect, Cat congratulated Mortimer for successfully purifying the water. Mortimer seemed really proud of himself. Suddenly, two sponsor gifts fell from the sky, one with a 4 and one with a 6. The D4 gift contained a mini chemistry kit with droppers, tiny bowls, and vials. A note attached read “I told you friends are the best - G”. The D6 bag contained a picnic of sandwiches and fruit. Pearl was ready to dig in, but Cat insisted they rest as the sun had fully set. Mortimer appeared disappointed, but admitted she was right. He volunteered to take first watch, blushing when Cat claimed he did so just to play with his new set. The two rested while Mortimer got to work purifying more water with his new kit. The portraits of the fallen were presented in the sky. The fallen included Olivine and Lionel (1), Nikita (2), Vista and Shoya (3), Terry (5), Jack (6), Laurel (7), Burlap (8), Ryetta (9), Mishti (10), and Neutron (12). This left 12 tributes remaining.
submitted by Mortimer_Whimsiwick
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2023.05.28 17:13 Used_To_Being_Used It was so good to see you last night.
It's been almost four years since we've last seen each other. Oh, how I've missed you in that time. You look great, as always. I love the glasses on you, they really suit your face and somehow manage to make you look even cuter. Didn't think that was possible, haha. It was great to hear your voice again. And your laugh, my god, your laugh. Still one of my favorite sounds in the whole world.
I'll be honest, I was pretty scared and anxious at first. I was even shaking a little bit through most of our time last night. I've thought about you every day since the... thing... happened, so I've had time to dwell on thoughts, feelings, memories, you name it. But despite psyching myself out over our past, it's so comforting to know that we still share our same connection. It really was almost as if those four years never happened and we picked up where we left off. Given our most recent history and present circumstances, there are some things that changed, of course, but that aspect of being able to pick right up despite the time in between is something I've always appreciated about our friendship.
I won't lie, I was a little caught off guard when you made the, "But the memories," comment. While I look back very fondly on said memories, and trust me, I look back VERY fondly, I wasn't expecting you to reference that part of our past, at least so early on in your visit. I'd actually love to have a conversation about it but I know that it's a difficult thing to navigate. In any case, your comment made for a good laugh given the context, and it makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one who still thinks back to then.
Speaking of back then, do you still use the same hair products? Because when we went in to hug (that same hug we always do that I love so much. You know the one, the hug that lasts just a little too long, but not long enough at the same time) as I dropped you off, I swear the scent of your hair brought me right back to four years ago. God dammit, the best memories fucking hurt sometimes.
Anyway, to an extent that I'm unable to put into words, I'm glad you're back, even if it's only for a few days. I'm so fucking excited to be able to spend time with you again and make new memories. Can we please remember to take more pictures this time?
Thank you for not giving up on me.
All my love -
submitted by Used_To_Being_Used
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2023.05.28 17:13 MasterfulBaiter It Never Began For Me. (23M, Big Surprise)
TLDR: I'm a homeless African American that never had any prospects, recently lost my job, and is autistic enough to make finding and keeping work hell. Oh, and I'm unattractive.
For people that actually like reading:
I'm putting my story here so that I can at least pretend I'm impacting the world. Starting from the way beginning to when I started showing indicators of involuntary celibacy. And trust me, I got an EARLY start.
Stats: 6"0, Black, Autistic (Aspergers specifically).
Traits: Depressed, Ugly, no Self Esteem, slowly losing the will to live.
Onto the story.
Elementary School: I don't know if I discovered the idea of girls earlier than most or not, but I know they didn't like me. I managed to find one out of desparation, but it didn't last, obviously. The problem is, I already started to notice girls looking to get attention (you know the kind. "Pay attention to me, but I want nothing to do with you" kind of attention. Looking back, I noticed they learn that behavior early. Whether or not someone taught it to them is something I can't confirm, at least from personal experience.
During this time, up through Middle School, I had buckets of confidence (this will become important later). Got rejected? Move on, try to ask another. Poisoning the already-dry well further since I was too dumb to understand that concept at the time.
Middle School: The worst, as far as schooling went. Every girl rejected me (including the ugly ones) and what little affection I did get was paid for and given by girls who only wanted to use me. I was also bullied a lot by girls during this time because I had different interests. This is also where the most painful memory of my life sits.
Sub-Story: There was this girl I was really into, and she was actually into me as well. Her name was Jocelyn. We were kind of lovey dovey to each other, the annoying kind. Well, onve the class got wind that we were into each other... They bullied her. Not me, but HER, out of being with me. They all laughed and teased, forcing her to break it off right there. I was devastated, and still am almost 10 years later. But, it didn't stop there. She started dating my best friend at the time, Alejandro. I still never totally recovered from that, and it permanently changed my perceptions of women and dating, especially since it never stopped happening.
High School: This was when I started getting used for free meals, getting led on, and of course, constantly rejected, even by ugly girls with similar interests. I still remember I lashed out against a girl, Jackie, for rejecting me. I cursed her out, and still regret doing that. She left the school shortly after, so I never got the chance to apologize to her.
I transferred to a different school at grade 11, and got bullied by girls again.
After I dropped out, I went to work since I was almost 2 years worth of credits behind, and I wasn't going to give those kids more reasons to ignore/hate me. My first job was at a swimming academy. Women, everywhere, all wearing swimsuits, various body types. I couldn't stop myself from looking, both out of arousal and jealousy, knowing they had men they preferred. Guys, more athletic, taller, and better looking than me, all had girlfriends. I was the only person in there who was constantly depressed and going to therapy several times a month just to cope. I ended up slacking on purpose to get fired.
Job after that. Worked in a tire shop. One woman I really liked and could relate to. She was lesbian.
Side Stories: During the middle school era, I went to a library. Girl comes up, says she liked me, I got excited, then she turned around and said her boyfriend called her, so she wasn't interested anymore.
When I arrived at my first high school, there was a girl I liked who was into games. She was also lesbian.
I moved to a different city because I got into a fight with my abusive mother, just over two years ago. Turns out my Father likes to date abusive women (my parents are separated) and his girlfriend ended up being emotionally abusive to me, threatened me and my property, and effectively took my Dad away from me. She also has a daughter that disliked me for no apparent reason despite me being nice to her at the time.
She made me homeless, and I've been living in my car ever since April of this year.
Please tell me about how I just need to be confident. My confidence died in High School, and only got worse down the road. I can't even cope with video games anymore, so I just sit in my car all day half-heartedly looking for work, eating Japanese food, and pretending to care about self-improvement by learning Japanese.
submitted by MasterfulBaiter
to u/MasterfulBaiter [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 17:13 chennyalan I love lights because they represent something remarkable to me.
I love lights because they represent something remarkable to me.
Since the dawn of man, we've been perpetually frustrated in our efforts to explore by many things– distance, predators, hostile environs unsuitable to travel– but worst of all in its regularity, duration, and unconquerability was Night. See it comes each day, without fail. It is all-encompassing and existentially terrifying in its unknowable depth. It quiets talk, slows movement, and steals time. And for years, centuries, millennia, eons, we have fought against it.
Fire was our first blow in this ancient battle. With fire, we beat back the shadows, and saw that it was good. We fashioned torches, s candles, then lanterns, and we were able to move sea the darkness without fear of unseen attackers, absent of the timeless danger of stubbed toes.
But it was not enough.
With the advent of electricity, illumination sprang forward as never before. The oldest among the lucky men who witnessed this transformation of society grumbled among themselves that such light wasn't natural; that we were fools to meddle with nature in this way, that artificial light would be an insidious presence in civilization, tempting us with convenience at the expense of our natural state.
But we did not listen.
Soon, towns and cities across the globe glowed at night brightly enough to be seen by ships across Great Lakes, brightly enough to be seen even from the ships newly buzzing across suddenly accessible skies. It was the Age of Light– and it is the age of light, and it always will be, from that point on.
But still we found ourselves frustrated.
Science and new technologies had given us cheap, warm light in our homes and on our streets– but for those who yearned for the exploration of days past, diving deep into the ocean or hiking into ageless woods, night still meant an end to a day's journey.
And so we persevered.
We created packages of electricity and called them batteries and we created lights small enough to carry. And we made them smaller and better each time until we came to today, a magical time for flashlights, when you can buy a light that will shine for a kilometer, or one that's 900 lumens but smaller than my big toe. They take batteries and use LEDs that represent billions of dollars of R&D, decades of engineering and refinement, and they're still working on it.
Many creation myths begin with a point of light. A beam erupts from the darkness, piercing it, driving it away utterly, and so the universe is born. I'm an atheist, but I get a small thrill when I light up a field or send a pillar of light into the sky. There's a reason we shot two beams of hope and resilience into the empty air where the twin towers stood.
Light is life.
TL;DR Flashlights represent the best of humanity, and I lose my keys a lot.
“You'll carry an umbrella when there's only a 30% chance of rain, but every night there is a 100% chance of darkness.”
submitted by chennyalan
to copypasta [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 17:12 Spiritual-Joestar777 I’ve been feeling so lonely lately, i just need to vent
Sorry if this is cheesy asf, I just really needed to vent.
I (M16) have been feeling lonely recently, and I now realize have been for a long time.
This hit me yesterday after I binged a 12 episode romance anime (I know weird catalyst but bear with me) and although I expected the post anime depression to be tough, especially since it’s romance, I could not have anticipated the downward spiral of emotions I had experienced until this very second.
It’s made me realize so much of what I’ve been concerned about was based on my apparently severe loneliness.
This longing for someone whom I can walk through life with, to grow old with, someone to love and whom of which would love me.
I cried last night before bed, so many things felt clear to me, the times the past few years where I would have conversations with the air or myself for minutes at a time, the constant jokes about said loneliness, and so on… I now understand that to an extent that what I thought was mental decline(which it prolly still is), I have this once unknown loneliness to blame.
Heck I even dreamt about meeting the supposed “love of my life”, romcom love story, soulmates and all that stuff, I left myself waking up with this intense longing for that again, cause although that “love” was all in my head, it felt real. I wanna feel it again.
It’s not like I don’t have a loving family and friends, but I want to be able to find that person I can spend my life with, I wanna find her, have that romantic love story, find the irl equivalent to the woman in my dream.
I know that it’s incredibly selfish, and I’m probably undeserving of it, but this loneliness is unbearable, I’m starting to doubt I’ll ever find that person.
I know this is probably cringy but, I just don’t wanna be alone anymore
submitted by Spiritual-Joestar777
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2023.05.28 17:12 Possible_Emphasis139 Unsure about friends motives and how to proceed
(Sorry it’s a long rant but I’m extremely frustrated and need input) Recently I’ve had a friend reach out to me several times a week with crochet patterns asking if we can make them or if I can figure out the pattern so “we” can make it. I usually look up how much the pattern is, give them a cost break down on what supplies it says you need, and how much yarn it takes. I only started doing that after being asked several times if I had the stuff to make it or could get it, and having to kind of change the subject because I didn’t want us to use my materials, and also because they wanted to use chunky yarn which I don’t enjoy crocheting with.
As a little backstory, I learned to crochet when I was in elementary school from and old lady who taught me how to do a chain, sc, and a dc. Once I got to college I taught myself everything else I know (later impressing and surpassing the same old lady who now loves to see all that I make and shares patterns with me). I often bring crochet everywhere I go and crochet in front of this friend and I think they assume that it’ll be easy to make things since I’m so quick and it looks easy, but what they don’t realize is I have over 15 years of experience.
Where I’m struggling the most is that I’m not a very big amigurumi person. Some amigurumi patterns I love, buy, and make, but very rarely do I freehand amigurumi like I do other crochet things. Every pattern they’ve sent me has been big fluffy yarn amigurumi with lots of color changes and working in the round. They’ve never crocheted before and want to start with these more intermediate and up patterns and want me to walk them through it. Am I wrong for being hesitant and jumpy when they send new patterns asking about making them? I set a boundary that I won’t lend them my supplies or tools, which I think made things awkward- as we’re both pretty broke and starting off fully just adds on top of the cost of the yarn (especially the plush yarn they want). We’ve only been friends for a couple months too so I’m not sure if this is a “let’s bond thing” when it feels more like a using me for my talents thing… any advice or input is appreciated as I’ve talked to other non-crocheting adults and have gotten mixed messages in response, and would rather have other crocheters insight:)
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2023.05.28 17:11 recentlyquitsmoking2 How do I appeal to powerful women (and not cause them to become meek)?
I am really attracted to powerful women, but the women who are attracted to me are often better suited to the label "patient" than girlfriend. My most recent serious relationship ended about 18 months ago. She seemed like a go-getter and had similar interests to me in terms of corporate progression, but a year down the line, she became mentally ill to the point where I almost quit my job to find something part-time so I could take care of her. She would do somewhat typical things from someone suffering from depression, like saying "today I'm going to clean the kitchen," which would go on for 2 or 3 days before I couldn't handle it and did it all. Mind you, I was doing most of the cleaning. Another semi-serious girlfriend a few years ago apparently was also a go-getter. An ex of hers who I saw a little through work made the comment to me "damn she's a machine though, ay, can't get her to sit still," to which I was flabbergasted. This girlfriend at the time was exceptionally lazy, but also soon after I started dating her, noted that she was also suffering badly from depression. There are more examples of this - essentially how I either end up with someone who has a lot of baggage right away or who seems great but kind of quickly turns into someone who needs a lot of help. Sometimes it feels as if I'm a transition period for these women. They seem to go on to be much better off shortly after, and I concern myself with how I could have avoided turning them into something that I almost despise. Or rather, what do I change about myself to get the best version of themselves?
The laziness could sometimes be extreme - like coughing hysterically from smoking some weed but essentially waiting for me to get her water. Even if I silently refused to help, I'd say "get some water babe," to which she'd reply "I will yeah" and just sit there intermittently coughing. Now, I've met another woman. It was great for a couple of days, but very quickly, it has become about her having BPD and constantly feeling 'off' when I get back from not being around. It's already starting to feel like an obligation to be around because it's for her perceived well-being rather than wanting to see her.
Admittedly, I do kind of fake my way through a relationship. I'm a big believer in fake it till you make it, so I try to go above and beyond to create love, and I think this works for the most part. I get off on making someone happy, so for them to say 'oh baby that's amazing' for something like breakfast in bed, it's a huge dopamine hit. But it's not reciprocated, and then these things start to feel obligatory rather than supererogatory, and at some point, the resentment starts setting in, and a little later, the intense, constant anxiety of feeling trapped in a one-sided relationship. The break-up will then often come as (extra) hard because I appeared as someone who loved them so dearly that I was happy to do this for them, only to hear or feel that I was resentful a lot of the time.
I'm not even sure I know what I'd want. I think to myself that I want someone like me, who would quickly get up to get me water if I started coughing. I think to myself that I want someone who has a grasp on their mental health and is taking steps to help themselves. I don't really talk about my mental health and certainly try never to put it on someone else to appease me for it. Is this just a failure to communicate on my part? I know I've had a hard time communicating in the past because many of these things that I'm referring to seem to be integral parts of who these people are. For example, at one point, a woman I was dating didn't really shower often enough. I told her one day that I think we should try to shower more than once every 3 days. She stopped immediately and went to shower, afterward telling me that I basically told her she stunk... She did stink though.
My patience is wavering a little these days as well. I moved into my mom's place with her not long ago for the exact same reason as these women I'm describing - where my mom's mental health put her in a position where she was about to be homeless, so I gave up my many friends, home, essentially my life in my home country to come take care of her. She also does not really make the effort to make anything better, and I've slowly come to the conclusion that I will likely be with my mom forever. It is my fate, unfortunately. Fine - obviously no woman worth her weight in salt is going to be interested in a 30-something-year-old living with his mom, regardless of the reason. But this new woman, who knows about my situation, knows about me on SSRIs, but who I don't complain to at all, even though, at least once a day, I think Robin Williams had the right idea.
Couple notes: The girl I've recently started talking to is on Discord found on a discord server. I'm likely never to meet her in real life. That being said, I have no objections to having a flirty, fun, maybe seriousish relationship online with someone for a bit. The previous relationships have all been in person - I've never actually had a proper relationship online. The quip about Robin Williams, while tasteless, refers more specifically to his method he used to take his own life. That in mind, though, maybe I just need fuckloads of therapy? Sorry for the ramble. I don't mean to come across as someone naive or as someone who completely lacks empathy. Apologies if that's what is read.
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2023.05.28 17:11 SlightlyCalming I went Plat 1 to Plat 3 last night going 5-9. Please, just Bring back LFG for players who used it.
PLEASE bring back Look for group(LFG)! It’s what I get for solo queueing with out my group this weekend. They were busy or had work and I had free time.
Please just bring back Look For Group. It was the only time OW competitive was enjoyable. I encountered hateful people but it I just blocked or avoided them which was much better than what we have now where we queue with random toxic people (coughs at racists and homophobes and yell at women) who bring the quality of the match down. It is annoying how OW2, A TEAM BASED GAME, has made it impossible to group up with people…..
Backstory on the 5-9, I was 1-3 for the week and decided on Saturday, yesterday, to finish the rest only to go 4-6 which is the 5-9 for the derank…. I went 5-0 before this….
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2023.05.28 17:11 Mediocre-River9030 Avatar Aang Miracle Box design Speculation
Hey everyone the title may give away that I have a little question in mind and that is "What would the Miracle Box look like in the possession of Avatar Aang?" And you're wondering "Who is this Aang you're talking about and why they have a Miracle Box and which one are you talking about we've seen about 4 haven't we?" well to put it bluntly I'm talking about one of the main characters from Avatar The Last Airbender and as to why he'd have anything to do with The Miraculous I've thinking about an AU (alternative universe) where The Miraculous and by extension The Order of the Guardians exist in that Avatar universe have the main cast using The Miraculous throughout the war with Aang acting as the guardian of The Chinese Miracle Box or Mother Box (whether or not he realizes it or not) the only problem is I can't decide what the box would look in his possession since we know that The Miracle Box changes appearance upon being passed from one guardian to the next but the problem is I can't think of a design that fits Aang's personality without giving it away that he's the new guardian (something which is very important as I want it to be an ongoing mystery as to who is the new guardian or if they're even aware of their status) other than that I've even made some big choices regarding the cast and what Miraculous they'll use. Anyway if you can provide some ideas please do I've been thinking about this for a while and it's driving me crazy
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2023.05.28 17:11 nnomadic Canceling show made me drop Netflix. The writer's strike confirmed my decision.
I was never a big TV consumer, but I had a subscription since the DVD days. Dropping this show was kind of the final straw and I have no reason to keep the sub anymore since they cancel or butcher anything good (see: Witcher). This show obviously has a cult following as this sub is more active than half of their shows. I don't want an AI to replace real writers either with boring ass content. Moronic shareholders. Capitalist innovation my ass.
If the writers are here and lurking, you've created something that hit me too close to home. I've never related to a character like Regan before, down to the point where strangers have asked me if I've watched this show. Thanks, it means a lot and has made me feel a bit less strange.
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2023.05.28 17:10 melindapeter1982 Hello Animal lovers community!
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My name is Aya. I started volunteering online with MAA few months ago. You may ask, but why exactly MAA?
2 years ago, I called the MAA team to rescue a mule ( WOW ) that had a broken foot and was abandoned by her owner. I was impressed by how much they cared for the animal even if they couldn’t pick her up right away.
The fact that, even with limited resources, the team kept going back and forth checking on the mule and convince the owner to take her with them. Since then, I put my full trust on MAA and decided to reach out to them at every emergency.
I’ve always wanted to volunteer in the shelter but I couldn’t as I personally cannot handle seeing sick animals or even assisting them in their final moments. so I decided to volunteer through online work.
However, my curiosity still wanted to see what exactly happens in the shelter. This is where the MAA documentary came to the rescue. Watching the documentary made me feel as If I were part of the team.
Seeing what it looks like starting from nothing but a mission to changing the lives of more than 500 animals despite the challenges which the difference of the culture brings, was beyond impressive.
I am so grateful for having this opportunity of experiencing life through Lucy’s eyes. A strong, fearless woman who came to a whole different country with different standards and attitude toward stray animals in order to fight for their wellbeing and safety. Then later, partnering with another amazing superwoman, Fanny. Here is the link where to watch: https://venuo.co.uk/morocco-animal-aid
PS: I would definitely start a petition or a protest for MAA to make another documentary to see more of Lucy, Fanny and the team as well as their inspiring hard-work 👀. Please continue your support and believe me when I tell you, these people deserve the world ❤️
2023.05.28 17:10 Alternative_Law_898 How many Minor Signs are left?
The 100 minor signs and the 10 major signs are below. I don't know if some signs have already occurred and if some haven't because of my lack of knowledge about historical events, so I was wondering if you guys could please tell me which minor signs have not occurred already. Jazakallah-Khair.
The minor signs are -
- The death of Prophet Mohammad(SAW).
- Times of trials and tribulations
- Time will pass rapidly. [Bukhari, Muslim, & Ahmad]
- Good deeds will decrease. [Bukhari]
- People will become miserly. [Bukhari]
- There will be much killing and murder. [Bukhari, Muslim, Ibn Majah, & Ahmad]
- Power and authority will be given to wrong people. [Bukhari]
- Honesty will be lost. [Bukhari]
- The disappearance of knowledge and the appearance of ignorance [Bukhari, Muslim, Ibn Majah, & Ahmad]
- A mountain of gold will be disclosed from beneath the River Euphrates, but we are not to take anything from it.
- The appearance of 30 false messengers. [Bukhari]
- Two large groups, adhering to the same religious teaching, will fight each other with large numbers of casualties. [Bukhari & Muslim]
- Earthquakes will increase [Bukhari & Muslim]
- Wealth will be in abundance, to the extent that it will be difficult to find someone in need of Zakat. [Bukhari]
- When people begin to compete with others in the construction of taller buildings. [Bukhari]
- A man will pass by a grave and wish that he was in their place. [Bukhari]
- The conquest of Constantinople by the Muslims. [Ahmad, Muslim]
- The consumption of intoxicants will be widespread. [Bukhari & Muslim]
- Adultery and fornication will be prevalent. [Bukhari, Muslim, Ibn Majah]
- Women will outnumber men, eventually the ratio will be 50 women to 1 man. [Bukhari, Muslim, & Ahmad]
- People will strive for power about mosques.
- Adultery and fornication will be prevalent. [Bukhari, Muslim, Ibn Majah]
- People will cheat with goods. [Ibn Majah]
- Paying Zakat becomes a burden and miserliness becomes widespread; charity is given reluctantly. [Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah]
- Leaders will not rule according to the Commands of Allah.
- Only the rich receive a share of any gains, and the poor do not. [Tirmidhi]
- The leader of a people will be the worst of them. [Tirmidhi]
- A trust is used to make a profit. [Tirmidhi]
- When a man obeys his wife and disobeys his mother; and treats his friend kindly while shunning his father. [Tirmidhi]
- When voices are raised in the mosques. [Tirmidhi]
- People will treat a man with respect out of fear for some evil he might do. [Tirmidhi]
- Men will begin to wear silk. [Tirmidhi]
- Female singers and musical instruments will become popular. [Tirmidhi]
- When the last ones of the Ummah begin to curse the first ones. [Tirmidhi]
- The nations of the Earth will gather against the Muslims like hungry people going to sit at a table full of food. This will occur when the Muslims are large in number, but "like the foam of the sea".
- The Muslim conquest of Jerusalem. [Bukhari]
- A great plague will spread over the land - may be in reference to the plague of Amwas during the Caliphate of Hazrat Umar ibn al-Khattab. [Bukhari]
- Wealth will increase so much so that if a man were given 10,000, he would not be content with it. [Ahmad & Bukhari]
- A trial will arise in Arabia which will not spare a single household. [Ahmad & Bukhari]
- A treaty will be made between the Muslims and the Westerners - which they will breach with an army of 12,000 soldiers under 80 banners. [Bukhari]
- Books/writing will be widespread and (religious) knowledge will be low. [Ahmad]
- People will beat others with whips like the tails of oxen - this may be in reference to the slave trade. [Muslim]
- Children will be filled with rage. [at-Tabarani, al-Hakim]
- Children will be foul. [at-Tabarani, al-Hakim]
- Women will conspire. [at-Tabarani, al-Hakim[
- Rain will be acidic or burning - reference to acid rain. [at-Tabarani, al-Hakim]
- Children of fornication will become widespread or prevalent. [at-Tabarani, al-Hakim]
- When a trust becomes a means of making a profit. [Tirmidhi, Al-Haythami]
- Episodes of sudden death will become widespread. [Ahmad]
- There will be people who will be brethren in public, but enemies in secret. (When asked how that would come about, he replied, "Because they will have ulterior motives in their mutual dealings, and at the same time they will fear one another.") [Tirmidhi]
- People will walk in the marketplace with their thighs exposed.
- Great distances will be traversed in short spans of time - reference to vehicles, aeroplanes.
- The people of Iraq will recieve no food and no money due to oppression by the Romans (Europeans). [Muslim]
- People will hop between the clouds and the earth.
- When singers become common. [Al-Haythami]
- People will dance late into the night.
- People will claim to follow the Qur'an but will reject Hadith & Sunnah. [Abu Dawood]
- People will believe in the stars. [Al-Haythami]
- People will reject al-Qadr (the Divine Decree of Destiny). [Al-Haythami]
- Smog will appear over cities because of the evil that they are doing.
- People will be carrying on with their trade, but there will only be a few trustworthy persons.
- There will be attempts to make the deserts green.
- Women will be naked in spite of being dressed, these women will be led astray & will lead others astray. [Muslim]
- The conquest of India by the Muslims, just prior to the return of Prophet Jesus, son of Mary. [Ahmad, an-Nisa'i, Tabarani, al-Hakim]
- There will be a special greeting for the people of distinction. [Ahmad]
- Wild animals will be able to talk to humans. [Ahmad]
- A man will leave his home and his thigh or hip will tell him what is happening back at his home. [Ahmad]
- Years of deceit in which the truthful person will not be believed and the liar will be believed. [Ahmad]
- Bearing false witness will become widespread. [Al-Haythami & Ahmad]
- When men lie with men, and women lie with women. [Al-Haythami]
- Trade will become so widespread that a woman will be forced to help her husband in business. [Ahmad]
- A woman will enter the workforce out of love for this world. [Ahmad]
- Arrogance will increase in the earth. [Tabarani, al-Hakim]
- Family ties will be cut. [Ahmad]
- There will be many women of child-bearing age who will no longer give birth.
- There will be an abundance of food, much of which has no blessing in it.
- People will refuse when offered food.
- Men will begin to look like women and women will begin to look like men.
- When it will be regarded as a shame to act on Quranic injunctions.
- When untrustworthy people will be regarded as trustworthy and the trustworthy will be regarded as untrustworthy.
- When it will be hot in winter (and vice versa).
- When the length of days is stretched, i.e. a journey of a few days is covered in a matter of hours.
- When orators and lecturers lie openly.
- When people dispute over petty issues.
- When women with children come displeased on account of them bearing offspring, and barren women remain happy on account of having no responsibility of offspring.
- When oppression, jealousy, and greed become the order of the day.
- When people blatantly follow their passions and whims.
- When lies prevail over the truth.
- When violence, bloodshed and anarchy become common.
- When immorality overtakes shamelessness and is perpetrated publicly.
- When the offspring become a cause of grief and anger (for their parents).
- Music and musical instruments will be found in every home.
- People will indulge in homosexuality.
- There will be an abundance of illegitimate children.
- There will be an abundance of critics, tale-carriers, back- biters and taunters in society.
- People will establish ties with strangers and sever relations with their near and dear ones.
- Hypocrites will be in control of the affairs of the community and evil, immoral people will be at the helm of business establishments.
- The Masjid will be decorated, but the hearts of the people will be devoid of guidance.
- Gangsters and evil people will prevail.
- Various wines will be consumed excessively.
Rasullulah SAW says : The major signs are like beads in a string. When a string is cut all of them will fall down. So with the appearence of first major sign rest will follow quickly one after the other, maybe on the same day, on another day or in a week. These 10 major signs are -
- Arrival of Imam Mahdi.
- Appearence of Ad Dajjal (The false Messiah).
- Descendancy of Isa ibn Maryam (AS).
- Yajuj and Majuj.
- Three major earthquakes that will take one-third of life on the earth.(One in the east, one in the west and one in Arabian peninsula. )
- Ad-Dhukan (a type of smoke).
- The rise of the sun from the west. (No more repentance accepted after that).
- Ad-Dabbah(The beast).
- A fire from Yemen and it will push the people towards the land of Mahshar (Land of Mashar is where accountability will be held).
- Destruction of Kabah.
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