Chinese restaurant around my area

I started taking antidepressants about 8 years ago, I thought it was helping and it was getting better, maybe it is, but I developed some habits (don't know if that's the right term) but basically I'm more fucked up than ever, I'm alone, I feel horrible when my family is around so i avoid them my friends have no idea what im going through and i see it 2 times a year i should be making a lot of money since i work two jobs but i'm broke basically after the antidepressants I isolated myself even more, I started shopping online and ordering food every day (I gained about 50 kg), I'm in a lot of debt because of this, and I'm seriously considering pulling onto a highway, speeding my car up as fast as I can, taking off my seatbelt and crashing into the first truck that crosses my path, I might do that soon, I just don't see any other way,

As the title says, i’m looking to clean and seal my pressure treated wood deck. We just moved here and it needs some help. I’ve read 600-1200 is the range to opposite PSI wise. The decking also goes around an in ground pool. It’s a stupid amount of decking(2,000 sq ft) so i’m trying to avoid a hiring a professional due to cost.
Any advice from you guys before i get into this?

So, I started trying to potty train my son around when he turned 2. He was helping me get himself dressed, undressed, and honestly he had the poops of a grown man, so mama was determined to get him out of pullups. We've stayed as consistent as we can between my husband being deployed, me having our daughter (who is 1 now), ppd, etc. It's been a year and a half now, he still WILL NOT tell me when he needs to go. I tried a small potty training toilet and he didn't like because even though it made the flush sound he knew it was fake because he liked to watch the water go down after I went. I've let him watch me sit and go. I've tried potty training songs, episodes of his favorite shows, even fidget toys while going. He's just so resistant. The most progress we've gotten is I catch him pooping in his pullup and get him to go. It's like it doesn't bother him that he's sitting in his own pee and poop. I need advice, or to know that it's not just my son😭 I feel so defeated

Last week I did a series of posts titled "Pope Francis is saying nothing new". This week I thought I'd do a series of posts called "Pope Francis is complicated". Basically showing that he's a very complex man in terms of his record and his views on various issues don't fit neatly into any spectrum. Which is often why some people see him as "confusing". They might try to map him unto an ideological box that he's not interested in fitting into(even though generally he has a left of centre view on things). The first topic I want to tackle for this series is Pope Francis's views and approaches on women's issues. Here we see a mixed and complex approach both in the Church and the culture at large. Here are examples.
(1)Cardinal Bergoglio's approach to women's issues in Argentina and Latin America

• Before he was Pope Francis he was Jorge Mario Bergoglio. And as Cardinal Bergoglio of Argentina who led the Argentine Catholic Bishops Conference as well as participated in the Latin American Bishops Conferences women's issues were topics that he addressed in the region. On the one hand, he maintained a very strong doctrinal conservatism on reproductive topics such as contraception and abortion, leading to major clashes with President's Nestor and Cristina Kirchner. Each time the topic of Abortion legalisation in Argentina was brought up, he would oppose it, using very strident language to make his stance clear. At one point he said "defend the unborn unto death, even if they persecute or kill you". He similarly maintain the traditional doctrinal opposition to contraception. This would lead Cristina Kirchner to condemn his stances as "medieval".
• In contrast to his doctrinal conservatism on reproductive topics, Cardinal Bergoglio had a "liberal" or "progressive" perspective on pastoral and economic issues that affected women. As the "Bishop of the Slums" he advocated for social justice for working class women as well as single mothers who lived in the slums under the poverty line. This would make him fairly popular among low income women. When it came to the Latin American Bishops Conferences such as the Aparecida Conference he made a specific point to condemn what he saw as the negative impact systems of neoliberal capitalism had on poor, indigenous and black women in Latin America and advocate for economic justice for these groups, calling their plight a "double discrimination". In addition he defended single women who had children out of wedlock from the condemnations and judgementalism of many in society, particularly those in religious circles. He condemned clerics who excluded these women calling them "hypocrites".

(2)Pope Francis and women's issues in society globally

• Since time being elected Pope in 2013, his position on women's issue in society has largely mirrored the stance that he took when he was Cardinal Bergoglio, with some differences and adaptations. He has maintained his staunch opposition and criticism of abortion saying its like "hiring a hitman" in some of his statements, saying it "violates the hypocratic oath" in other statements and also saying it is a "crime" in many others in keeping with his traditional stance on this topic. Francis has not spoken as much on contraception though on both and many reproductive issues he has maintain is doctrinal conservatism.
• When it comes to other issues just like when he was a Cardinal in Argentina, he has sought to have an expanded focus on economic injustice against women globally whether through lack of job oppurtunities, lack of maternity leave, or the gender wage gap which he has denounced. He has also expanded a major focus on the impact of violence against women in many of his addresses, particularly in his denunciations and campaigns against the impact of femicide in Latin America. In his text Amoris Laetitia he outlines this by stating "I would like to stress the fact that, even though significant advances have been made in the recognition of women's rights and their participation in public life, in some countries much remains to be done to promote these rights. Unacceptable customs still need to be eliminated. I think particularly of the shameful ill-treatment to which women are sometimes subjected, domestic violence and various forms of enslavement which, rather than a show of masculine power, are craven acts of cowardice. The verbal, physical and sexual violence that women endure in some marriages contradicts the very nature of the conjugal union. I think of the reprehensible genital mutilation of women practiced in some cultures, but also of their lack of equal access to dignified work and roles in decisions making"(Amoris Laetitia, prg 54)
• An interesting area where Francis as Pope has come together with women's activists, particularly ones in the developing world, is on the issues of land and environmentalism. Dubbed "ecofeminists", they see a connection between exploitation of land and the degradation of the environment with women's exploitation. This of course connects with the Pontiffs own focus on the environment and poverty. Particular figures include Vandana Shiva of India in terms of her major campaigns on seeding policy and its negative impact on land, workers and the poor and Berta Caceres of Central America, the late indigenous female rights activist. Both were connected to Pope Francis via his "world meeting of popular movements". The Pope and these third world feminist groups and leaders have allied in many instances over issues such as land rights, the protection of the environment and economic justice.

(3)Pope Francis and women's issues in the church

• Just like issues that affect women in society, Pope Francis's positions on issues that affect women in the Catholic Church's walls are mixed. On the one had he has maintained a conservative commitment to the 2000 year old doctrine, reaffirmed by Pope John Paul II, that women cannot be ordained to the priesthood. In 2016 he stated definitively that the door is "closed" and stated that John Paul II made a final statement on that topic.
• On the other hand Pope Francis has opened up the possibility of women's positions in the diaconate of the Catholic Church, and also the dicasteries of the Vatican. Dicasteries are Vatican departments, equivalent to departments of the federal government of the United States(like department of defense, education, etc). The discasteries, just like the departments of the federal government, help implement and set Vatican social and global policies. The Pope has expanded the roles of women in areas such as the Dicastery of Bishops(the department that selects Bishops) the Secretariate of State(the department that sets Vatican foreign policy) the Congregation of the Doctirne of the Faithful(the department that helps set Vatican doctrine and Catholic teaching) and the Vatican's judicial system.

(4)Pope Francis's attitude to feminism and interactions with feminists

• The current Pope's attitude to feminism has evolved over the years. Before he has a overall negative opinion of feminism stating for example "What I would like to add is that feminism as a unique philosophy, does not do any favors to those that it claims to represent, for it puts women on the level of a vindictive battle, and a woman is much more than that. The feminist campaign of the 20s achieved what they wanted and it is over, but a constant feminist philosophy does not give women the dignity that they deserve. As a caricature, I would say that it runs the risk of becoming chauvinism with skirts"(On Heaven and Earth, pg 104)
• Now the above was Cardinal Bergoglio in Argentina, speaking with his best friend the Rabbi Skorka on issues of faith and culture. Since his time becoming Pope, Francis has somewhat expanded his view on feminism. He stated for instance "There are those who believe that many of today's problems have arisen because of feminine emancipation. This argument, however is not valid; it is false, untrue, a form of male chauvinism. The equal dignity of men and women makes us rejoice to see old forms of discrimination disappear, and within families there is a growing reciprocity. If certain forms of feminism have arisen which we must consider inadequate, we must nonetheless see in the women's movement the working of the Spirit for a clearer recognition of the dignity and rights of women"(Amoris Laetitia, prg 54)
• Even while Pope Francis was Cardinal Bergoglio of Argentina and held the negative views that he had back then about feminism, he had an interesting relationship with feminist leaders. One prominent feminist he was close to was Esther Ballestrino. Before Jorge Mario Bergoglio became a priest, he studied to be a scientist and Esther was his teacher. Esther was a Marxist, an atheist as well as a feminist. Bergoglio was none of those, yet they became best friends. During Argentina's Dirty War under the right wing dictatorship where thousands were murdered or disappeared, Bergoglio would often times smuggle Esther's books into his seminaries so that she would be saved from investigation from the authorities. Ultimately though they ended up hunting and killing Esther despite his efforts. Bergoglio was able to behind the seens though save her daughter Ana Maria Careaga(who would continue her mother's human rights and feminist work) and he did the same for other dissident and feminist leaders behind the scenes. Bergoglio remained silent about the people he saved, including those feminist leaders for over 3 decades to the point where they did not know. So ironically enough, when they were battling him on issues like reproductive issues, they had no idea he's part of the reason they were alive. It literally only when he became Pope Francis 30 years later that he explained fully what happened. In the middle of that time period it is said that he would often visit Esther's grave and said she helped form his views on social issues.
• One of Argentina's prominent presidents and feminist icons was Cristina Kirchner, the wife of Nestor Kirchner. Centre left leaders, they were a power couple in Argentine politics, similar to the Clintons in America. Cardinal Bergoglio would have major clashes with the Kirchners, especially Cristina who became president after her husband died. They would clash on social, economic, cultural and constitutional issues. As a "feminist" political leader Cristina Kirchner is obviously going to be to the left of Bergoglio on issues like abortion and contraception(hence my mention of her stating his opinions on that matter were "medieval"). And yet paradoxically this socially conservative cleric was to the left of a centre left feminist president when it came to economic issues that affect the poor and women. And his economic critiques of Kirchner really hurt her politically. Because even though poor women in the Argentine slums disagreed with Bergoglio's views on reproductive issues, they agreed with his economic criticism and saw him as having more credibility. It basically became a Bernie Sanders/Hillary Clinton situation. They would also clash on many issues ranging from the Dirty Wars, to Gay Marriage, to issue of accountability over the 1994 Buenos Aires bombings. And the public would sway back and forth between supporting Kirchner or Bergoglio depending on the topic. Eventually after Pope Francis become elected in 2013 the two reconciled because he now became the most popular Argentine globally at the moment.

So basically as I outline above....Pope Francis's views and record on women's issues is...complex. He has both conservative and progressive views on issues affecting women that's influenced by both Catholic Social Teaching as well as his own experiences, and he has evolved his view on those topics over the years.

TLDR; I ended a friendship with my best friend because I felt that he no longer had my back and we were no longer on the same page.
Me (28m) ended a 20 years friendship with my best pal (29m) over the friend group we shared
I’ve been friends with Derek for almost 20 years, we been through alot together, our families are friendly etc. Definitely thought of him as a brother. Helped me through a lot and I thought he had my back.
Around high school senior year or so he started dating a girl. Was part of the friends group all good! They dated for close to 7 years my buddy proposed, and she accepted. With friends there.
Fast forward a few months after the proposal, he tells me that his fiancée cheated on him, with another girl, that they all worked with and has also previously been intimate with another group member (within the past few months). I let my opinion be known to him that I think it’s fucked up and acceptable to have to go through that.
Friend group finds out. And no one will take sides, if anything they try to make excuses for the fiancée (haven’t broken up yet), after a few months of that I finally had enough and told everyone that the fiancée was “a piece of sh**” and “a disgusting human being”. After arguing I end up getting phased/kicked out the group.
Fast forward until more recent (within last 9 months) Derek is dating someone new, and everytbing is seemingly okay. Turns out he and his new GF are best friends with the ex fiancée and they all hang out together. I told him I think that’s weird as heck, but whatever works. there have been several times Derek would invite me to events him and his gf would plan and obviously would invite the whole group. Every single time, without fail I would try to to say hi and be cordial and I would be disrespected. Would walk by my out stretched hand. Bump into me. Etc. little things like that. I told Derek that it would be cool if he could just talk to them and say to be cordial. We all grown let’s make it work.
Kept getting disrespected by them at more events, and I eventually stopped going. So the past 9 months Derek has not been answering my calls/texts etc. wouldn’t make plans to grab a beer, nothing. I mentioned 4 months ago that it bothered me and we should try to hang more so we can catch up. Because me and his new gf don’t get along (I find her very controlling and narcissistic) I try to make time when he is available so we can catch up
We end up having a heart to heart I told him about how I felt he could have had my back when everyone piled onto me for standing up for him to begin with. He said that’s his bad, we will make time to hang etc.
Well I’ve been left on read for 4 weeks. So I eventually texted saying j appreciate everything and that I wish him well but clearly this friendship has run its course.
He replied that I was an asshole for making him choose between me or the friend group (even tho I explained i don’t care who he associates with, I just simply would like to be cordial). That I’m toxic and immature for not just dealing with it. And that I killed the friendship. I feel that after the years of being disrespected by the old group, and him not having my back when I stood up for him, and his gf becoming very controlling of his life, that I needed to cut ties to move on with my next chapter in life too. I feel good about it. Did I make a mistake?

So we sold home & sign still up on lawn. He said AT&T sent him he wanted to talk to new homeowner. I have a No Soliciting Sign on door. I spoke to him via security cam & he was overly confident, looking around a lot before I started talking to him. He also wanted to know when he could come back to talk to new owner. I was working & Like wtf is wrong w these people he woke my baby up.
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Is this jackass up to no good? Just be on alert. HATE STRANGERS COMING TO DOOR!

Hey folks,
Recently needing to downsize my computer for a transitional time period. I currently have a i7-6700K, and need an mini ITX motherboard of 100 or 200 series chipset (z170, h110, etc.) I'd perfer if it had onboard wifi and a working or present antenna. Only real requirement for me is to have the I/O shield present, it is a mini ITX board, and that it takes DDR4 desktop RAM.
Preferably around the $100 range, but seems how I can't find much of anything that isn't from china/overseas I'm not sure where the pricing is really going to end up.

I’m sharing this story as a reminder to myself: still paying dues after having tried it.
Its a bit over two years since I kicked it.
I never abused Kratom for years or even months on end , just had 3-5 day binges.
Ended up with panic attacks 2x (yes, my stupid head went back after the first round).
I never had an addiction before or after. Just Kratom.
It was a nice way to relax in the evening but obviously my addictive personality was like: moooore.
So redosing, next night higher dose etc.
I literally had to throw this shit out and get this:
When i was walking down to the trashcan in the middle of the night, my stupid head goes: “Through it out with the paperbag it comes in, so if i want, tomorrow I can fish it out”.
That was the only time I was legit scared of myself.
Poured it out, the whole trashbin area of the building complex was probably full of fine green powder. It was too late though: my body was way too abused, i was overworked and instead of dealing with it properly, i turned to kratom.
So yes, i’ve quit for good this time but I had about 2 months of massive (5-6hr) panic attacks, episodes, depersonalization - shit I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy.
It ruined my next year but after about 1.5 years, breaking up with my gf & some good therapy we managed to fix the issues.
Obv it wasn’t just the Kratom - but it sure didnt help.
Anyway, the reason im writing this is that i just almost had another pretty severe panic attack.
But this time around there’s no bs in my system. Ive got a loving gf that literally cuddled me to death until the worst was over.
And man oh man, am I glad i never went back to kratom.
Cuz still to this day: every once in a while, im tempted. “Im doing fine, im sure i could handle it”.
And then i realise: there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t give up when shit goes doen to feel like normal again.
And certainly: the pleasure from Kratom - im giving that shit up everyday since, and it’s a worthwhile sacrifice.
Never been happier since ive lesrned my lesson the hard way. (And if youre struggling hope this guves you some hope - stay strong ❤️❤️)

Hello Friends,
​
I'm seriously stumped here and looking for some advice.
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I'm running a homelab, and I noticed that my internet is trash. or so I though.
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For those of you that are familiar, I am currently with Fido who is owned and uses the samenetwork as Rogers, now you see my mother set up the internet and she doesnt even know what a mbps is.
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When I looked the the plan it states: 150Mbps Download and 30Mbps Upload.
Now, thats trash, I noticed that rogers had 1.5Gbps in my area and was able to connect to my apt. (I wanted Bells 8Gbps but they didnt offer it :cry: )
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I was pretty set and stone and was about to switch over until I did some speed tests.
heres where I am very confuses, cause remember my plan is only supposed to be 150Mbps Download and 30Mbps Upload.
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PC 1 (Ethernet): Speedtest.net
DL: 588.00 Mbps UL: 32.02Mbps
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PC 1 (Ethernet): fast.com
710Mbps
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PC 2 (Ethernet): speedtest.net
DL: 240.90Mbps UL: 32.27Mbps
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PC 2(Ethernet): fast.com
280Mbps
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Cellphone 1 (Wireless 5ghz) Speedtest.net
290.82Mbps
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Cellphone 1 (Wireless 5ghz) fast.com
250Mbps
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See, how everything is ABOVE the posted speeds on what I was supposed to get?
Why is one computer so much faster than all my other devices?
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My real question here is, do I bother making the switch to 1Gbps internet?
it almost seems like I basically get those speeds on a good day, but the actual internet performance is TRASH. Major lagging on another device if I try to download stuff.
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Any Ideas?

Hey everyone. I’m 18 years old and am planning on moving to another state in the next year or year and a half. I live in Texas and am wanting to move to Oklahoma because I have a lot of family and friends there and want to live away from my parents.
I will graduate High School in may and am going to change jobs after graduation (I’m going to try to get a bank teller job) and I’ve been told tellers make $12-$15 in my area. So about $600/week pre tax. So the plan is to start college (an online college and I’m going for Finance) in August, and save as much as possible while living at home and then at somepoint secure a job in Oklahoma City and move up there.
However, an apartment lease would take up the majority of my monthly income. So, im contemplating buying my parents travel trailer from them and living in it until i can get a job in Finance.
will living in a travel trailer save me money?
bad idea?

It's almost spring! I'm ready to get out of the house and make new memories with new faces!
Quick facts about me:
- I'm 5'6"
- I workout 5-6 times a week (weightlifting and running)
- Currently in school finishing my undergrad
- Was active-duty military and now national guard
- Currently a paramedic and studying for my critical care exam in a few months
- I play video games, love board games, and love Chicago museums!
I'm tired of the dating apps and those connections only lasting a week or so. I would like to meet someone, grow, and create fantastic memories with them. I'm not here for penpals or for a one-night stand. I would like to hear about your day, your aspirations, your struggles and your triumphs! I want someone willing to be active with me. I want to aimlessly walk around the museums here in Chicago and talk about nothing or everything! I want to be around for the good and the bad times.
If that sounds like you I would LOVE to hear from you!
https://imgur.com/a/V8omiVF

Often I get upset with where I’m at and how things are going, but then I remember someone out there doesn’t even know where they’re sleeping tonight, so I feel like I have no right to be upset with things going on in my life.
Yeah, I’m upset with certain situations, but I feel like an asshole for saying “life is not treating me well” when at the end of the day, I can sleep in a warm bed in a warm home with a refrigerator full of food, while others are barely getting by. Part of me is screaming, “how dare you be sad when it can be so much worse.”
Anyone else feel this way? How do I stop undermining my sadness just because I may be better off than others in some areas?

I am trying to figure out an economical way to shoot with infrared light. The older RED Epic and Dragon cameras can be had for good rates in my area. I remember that some version of these cameras had interchangeable OLPF filters. Can anyone speak to whether or not these OLPF filters also filter IR wavelengths? If so would there be anything preventing me from shooting without an OLPF filter installed?

So my brother in law works for a roofing company and recently we had really bad wind storms and I noticed one shingle at the very top of my roof next to a vent was flapping in the 60mph wind. Just bought this house almost 2 years ago and to me the roofs age is unknown. So anyways I told my brother in law and he was like you should definitely file an insurance claim and see about a full replacement. He came and looked at the roof. And then an insurance adjuster came Saturday, the adjuster didn’t even bring a ladder. He just looked at the roof and called me and said they’d cover a new roof and sent me the money to my bank account that my brother in law told them would be enough for the roof replacement. Around $10,000
So initially I thought the insurance would just pay the roofing company themselves but now since I actually have the money I’m wondering if I should explore other companies to get other estimates to possibly save some money. So I had another company come today to give me an estimate and this guy is like “look I’m going to be honest your roof is in great shape aside from that one spot, and that's an easy fix" i told him after he said that, that the insurance company already paid me 10k to cover a new roof. and he still insists that my roof is in great shape and that he wouldnt be running an honest business if he told me to replace the roof. he then mentioned that if i was him i could put the money into an investment account with my bank, like a cd, and draw interest on it until i actually need a roof. lol. i wasnt expecting a roofer to say that, especially with him knowing i have the money to pay for the roof. figured id ask what peoples thoughts are here.

My mom and I don’t get along. She wasn’t around much but we’re trying now. She’s getting better. Or so I thought.
We were at this fancy restaurant (my mom’s favourite) and there was this relatively young couple with twin toddlers and another younger kid. There were other families so they didn’t stick out or anything, I just noticed them because we were seated directly beside them.
The younger one kept babbling and hitting his spoon against the table. He also knocked over a drink and spilled it all over his mom.
When my mom noticed she gave me a look and said “you never did that as a baby”
I just said okay and attempted to change the conversation. Then one of the twins had to use the washroom I think so dad took him while mom and the other two kids were still seated. She was taking photos of her kids and told them to say cheese and the other twin said cheese a little too loudly before erupting into giggles. The younger one thought that was hilarious and started hitting his spoon harder. Mom was trying to take the spoon from him but the other kid was distracting her too.
This made my mom upset and I kid you not, she stood up, walked up to the woman and said “excuse me you are in public, don’t bring your children to places like these if you can’t control them. Just by looking at you, I can tell that the kids make the rules and you follow them. People like you give parents a bad name.” She then looked at the boy and went “behave” real sternly.
The women seemed too shocked to speak and honestly so was I. My mom looked real satisfied though and told me that she never let me and my siblings out the house until we were a certain age and ranted about how selfish the parents are. I was still in shock because who just... does that? I asked my mom what she was thinking and she excused her behaviour with “I’m a retired teacher and a full time parent, I know what I’m doing”
That made me upset because she is most definitely not a full time parent. Maybe for the first 5 years of my life but definitely not for a long time after that and definitely not now either. I walked up to the woman (her husband was back and it seemed like she was filling him in).
I told her that I was so sorry for my mother’s actions and reassured her that my mom is not someone anyone should take parenting advice from. I called her kids cute, then left after paying the bill.
My mom‘s absolutely furious and apparently extremely humiliated and embarrassed. She said that after I left, the woman’s husband approached her and told her to mind her own problems with her own kids and it embarrassed her to death. She said that I had no right to expose our issues etc etc. I do feel a little petty and my dad thinks we’re both being childish (which isn’t wrong) but Jesus Christ. AITA?

So I was admitted into Ga Tech as an incoming freshman for the 2023 summer semester. Does anyone know if you’re able to choose the early summer or late summer start date or if it’s assigned to you? (When you apply to the school you’re automatically considered for summer and fall semester. I didn’t intend on starting in summer as I was supposed to visit my family in my home country but I’m trying to make my plans around it)

Just looking for advice/opinions on my financial position, and if retiring at 50 is a bad idea.
My though is ill be dead around 80, or close to it best case.
I have a home that I own worth about 1.1m, and 1.7m in savings, about half invested in low risk areas.
Single, currently living on about 60-65k a year.
Can I do this?

tw/// emotional and physical abuse
I don’t know what to do anymore, i am so totally alone. Around 5pm tonight I was finishing an online class when my mom knocked on my door demanding to talk. My therapist had texted me earlier today and said my mom wanted to talk to her, so I was nervous. Mom knocked on my door upon getting back from the meeting. She was crying, and claimed my therapist told her I said she was abusive and couldn’t believe i had said that. Later however she admitted that during the day she had found my diaries, “skimmed” them, and saw the word “abuse” and immediately called my therapist to ask who was abusing me. A very likely and believable story! She forced me to recount for her one of these “abusive” events, and after sitting in silence for a while I finally admitting (like I had done something wrong) that when I was 4 she was angry at me and threw a metal water bottle at my face and my nose bruised. She said she didn’t remember this happening and she’s sorry i believed that. She also claimed my she had to stop my dad from hurting me several times when he got angry, so I should be blaming him too. I don’t remember this but it’s possible this is true. I remember one incident. My therapist is not being helpful here when I am actively in a crisis. Before my mom blew up at me, I had texted her “how’d it go”, and she responded “Your mom’s in bad shape. Try to talk to her.” I replied that we talked, and she said “Ok good. You are both very compassionate and caring underneath your “tough” exteriors”. I had no idea what to even say to this so I asked if she knew about her reading my journals. She said: “I was in a tough spot. A crisis is an opportunity”. I am so angry and hurt and hopeless right now. I don’t know what I even do next. I can’t keep living like this, I feel so small.

Hi everyone, I’m here for some advice and unbiased opinions. As the title states, I’m at a loss and I’m not sure how to proceed.
For context, many years ago, my family and I had a dog who gave birth to puppies. The runt of the litter was significantly smaller and weaker than the rest and couldn’t latch onto the nipple- we had to bottle feed her and we worked really hard to keep her alive. Eventually, all the puppies went to great homes and we kept our beautiful runt baby and named her Daisy. She’s a doberman/pitbull mix and is about 13 years old now and very special to our family.
Over the years, Daisy has displayed signs of aggression and eventually ended up biting 3 people on different occasions. These were all incidents where Daisy acted as though she was “defending” us and our property, however the people she bit were family and friends and we admittedly weren’t cautious enough when letting them into our home.
A few years ago, we adopted a female puppy. She’s an american bully and her name is Nelly. Daisy and Nelly always got along so well that I can’t pinpoint where things went wrong, but they did. They started full blown fighting to the death. We live in a two story house so we separated them by having them live on different floors and never, under any circumstances, letting either of them see each other. Inevitably, there have been incidents where something went wrong and one of the dogs gets into the other part of the house. Once they start fighting, they’re nearly impossible to break up. They’ve fought too many times to count and this has resulted in countless veterinary bills, stress, and pain for both the dogs and my family. They haven’t fought in quite a while but we live in a constant state of anxiety and ptsd because of it.
We’ve hired trainers for both dogs and worked long and hard on Daisy’s aggression, but to no avail, nothing seems to have improved.
Now I’m at the point where I’m completely lost as to where to proceed with this, as we’ve just had another incident with Daisy this morning.
I have a 9 month old son who’s constantly on the move. I try my best to keep him away from Daisy, given her history, but there has been two times when my son crawled near her and she growled/jumped at him. This morning, he was crawling towards a room and I didn’t see Daisy because she was right around the corner. When he reached that corner, Daisy nipped him on the forehead. I immediately picked him up and checked for wounds, and thankfully she didn’t bite him and he wasn’t hurt too bad. It just looked like a small indent where the teeth made contact but didn’t break any skin. Nevertheless, it was traumatizing and I feel so guilty for letting this happen. I’m keeping them separated right now but I’m still shaking and I have absolutely no idea what to do now. After everything that happened over the years, I feel so guilty that we didn’t do enough for Daisy, although we tried our best.
I’m not sure that rehoming her is the best option as she does bite and training seems to have done nothing. I’m in desperate need of advice. I want to do what’s best for everyone involved- Daisy, my baby, and myself.
Anything is appreciated!

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