First post on Reddit. I'm reaching out because I find myself in a challenging situation during my PhD journey and I could really use some advice. I apologize in advance for the long post, but I feel it's important to provide some context. For the past two years, I have been facing difficulties in my work environment that have taken a toll on my mental health. The isolation at work, combined with the overwhelming workload and lack of guidance, eventually led me into depression and burnout. I have sought help from a psychologist and psychiatrist to manage these challenges. I have tried expressing my struggles to Joe, my PI, but I always approached the topic cautiously due to fear of his wife Jane, who was a PostDoc in the lab. She has previously labeled me as "fragile" and "overreacting." I have witnessed her mocking other colleagues who experienced burnout and even heard her refer to a fellow doctoral student as autistic simply because the student lacked self-confidence. Additionally, I didn't want to speak up because Jane and Joe offered me their house to stay, which is only 20min away from the lab, while I was still living with my parents over an hour away. I felt indebted to them and hesitant to voice my concerns about the lack of supervision, insufficient lab records to continue their work, and unhelpful remarks. Colleagues from other teams within the lab have often pointed out that my situation is not normal. They emphasized that I shouldn't have been expected to be independent right from the start, let alone be alone in the lab. However, I had a hard time accepting their perspective, believing the problem was solely mine and that I should be able to handle everything. At a certain point, my mental state deteriorated to such an extent that Sven, my other PI and head of the team, organized a meeting with Joe and me. Despite having a lot on my mind, I didn't dare speak up because Jane was present. Sven reassured me that this situation wouldn't last. Indeed, last September, Joe returned to the lab, but Jane had to stay to finish her contract at another location. Another engineer, Achille, was also hired, making the lab feel less empty and lifting my spirits. However, having scientific discussions with Joe remained challenging, especially since Jane became pregnant and Joe was frequently absent. I confided in a friend from another team about my distress, and I suspect that the assistant director of the building overheard our conversation and relayed it to the unit director. The director confronted me in his office, stating that he had heard I wasn't doing well due to supervision issues. I reassured him that things had improved and solutions had been put in place (which is true, with the return of Joe and Sven, weekly meetings had resumed). I also mentioned that I had informed my team about my psychological fragility, and Joe was now more attentive to my well-being. However, the director's intervention made me reflect deeply and filled me with some fear. Following this, I shared my concerns with Achille, the new engineer. I expressed my guilt about tarnishing Joe's image and then he revealed many things about Joe's perception of me. Essentially, he suggested that my distress was not solely due to professional isolation but rather because of my long-distance relationship with my fiance. This triggered some connections in my mind. Joe would often say things like, "When things aren't going well in your personal life, it affects your work too," or "Yes, Intel is sad because his wife is far away," or "We would like to send OP to your place, as she is fiance's girlfriend" I started questioning whether I was seen as a second-year PhD student, or just my fiance's depressed girlfriend. I discussed this with Sven, who once again assured me that I was recruited for my skills and not just because the lab was empty. He also revealed that when Joe was separated from Jane during his postdoc in Canada, he called Sven in tears, unable to handle the emotional separation. Joe seems to assume that I am experiencing the same emotional struggle with my fiance. Sven advised me to forgive Joe, which I did. However, a week later, Joe completely ignored me over a salad incident. Tom, another colleague, returned from a mission and asked if we could have lunch together after a meeting. I called Joe to discuss my results, and he informed me that he would only be available at noon because he was at the doctor's with his wife and newborn. I mentioned that Tom would be disappointed as he wanted to have lunch outside with the team. Suddenly, Joe became upset and took it upon himself to say that we would meet at a Salad Bar, with his wife and child, waiting in the parking lot until 11:45 before settling down. I kindly reminded him that I didn't like that restaurant and suggested an alternative. He replied that I could make it up with dessert. Noon arrived, and Tom was still in the meeting. I informed Joe, and he told me to inform Tom that there was an emergency in the lab, which I felt was inappropriate. In the meantime, I bumped into Achille and shared the plan with him, jokingly mentioning that it's a shame since I don't like salad. He responded that he didn't like it either and called Joe to convey that message, even though I told him it wasn't necessary. Nevertheless, he called Joe and returned, informing me that Joe agreed to go somewhere else. Still no news from Tom. Ten minutes later, Jane called Achille and unleashed her anger, saying they were waiting in the car with their newborn, and I hadn't thought to inform Achille since it slipped my mind while I was working. Achille was confused, and Jane said it was no longer necessary for us to join them. Achille relayed the conversation, and I felt a bit lost. Tom came out of the meeting, and Achille shared all the details with him. Tom decided not to join Joe and Jane, so we followed suit. When we returned, I went to see if Joe had come back to apologize for the misunderstanding, but I caught him angrily scolding Achille. I got scared and discreetly left the scene. This was followed by three weeks of Joe giving me the cold shoulder, and I was afraid to approach him. Finally, I gathered the courage to apologize for the misunderstanding, but I faced an avalanche of reproaches. Joe was disappointed that I hadn't come to apologize earlier, and he compared me to a manipulative person. All of this over a salad misunderstanding. Once again, I'm at a loss as to how to resolve this situation. According to Joe, he remained "professional," but every time he approached me, he exuded frustration and criticism. I confided in Sven about everything, despite my reluctance to bother him once again. He reassured me that I had nothing to blame myself for and that there must be something else behind all of this. Sven had a conversation with Joe about the salad incident and my concerns regarding supervision. Joe didn't take it well and took two weeks of leave. Jane returned to work the following week and accused me of accusing Joe of "psychological harassment." All I wanted to convey was that I regretted not having received adequate supervision and apologize once again for the misunderstanding. I was lost about what to do next. It feels like a toxic environment, and I worry about the impact it's having on my mental health and overall well-being. I genuinely want to focus on my research and make progress in my PhD, but these personal challenges and the strained work environment are hindering my ability to do so. Have any of you faced similar situations or dealt with difficult work environments? How did you navigate through them? What steps did you take to address the issues and create a healthier and more supportive work environment? I'm interested in hearing suggestions on how to effectively communicate with my supervisor and address the challenges I'm facing. How can I express my concerns without fear of retribution or further worsening the situation?

Ok so where to start? Well, I'm 30 years old , female, and I live on the east coast. I dont have a job, I don't have any friends really besides my boyfriend, and I still live at home with my mother. Sometimes life feels ok but other times it honestly feels like hell. Like I'm living in a night mare. Let me explain,there's no doubt in my mind or any of my doctor minds that I suffer from depression. Actually iv been suffering with it for so long that I don't even remember what it's like not to have it. I pretty much feel like a loser all the the time, like the title says I'm. Barely functioning. I don't have a job, my mom still supports me financially , and to be honest my thoughts get so fucked up sometimes I feel like I would be better off dead. I'm lazy, borderline alcoholic and have a past with self harm. Iv been to therapy before with various degrees of success but no real breakthrough Ok, so wow that was a lot there I just unpacked, to be honest I'm not really sure what I'm asking here. I guess I'm just wondering if there is anyone else out there that feels the same
P.S please don't laugh at me, I meant to put "functioning" in the title not function. My grammar sucks balls sorry

Now that I understand better how the phrase is used (thanks to many members) - do you agree with the sentiment that lightskinned ppl so often get told that they experience less racism, depending how pale, even sometimes met with disbelief from yt AND Black ppl at times - „you can’t/don’t experience much or any racism/you look so yt…“ or I have also encountered dark skinned Black women in my case, get mad when I spoke about a racist experience i made directed towards me, because „lightskinned ppl always get the limelight on Black topics above dark skinned ppl“. I completely get the issue with proximity to whiteness but I hate the fact that I am not seen as „one of them“ or as part of the problem (colorism) when I hate my skin color because I identify with my Blackness more than whiteness and because I didn’t choose to be me, for me it’s like I have some sort of albinism of the social kind because I am often but not always assumed to be yt because i have extremely pale skin but the anatomy of a Black woman (from the tribes that were brought from west Africa to Jamaica enslaved (my ancestors have been slaves on sugar cane plantations). A phenomenon I’ve noticed that Black ppl with medical albinism actually ho through. Ppl see a light skin and then that’s it - apparently detected as white. It’s another kind of disadvantage to me. I gain nothing from it as far as I can tell and I don’t want any of it in any case. I want to know who and what I’m dealing with in terms of racism especially because I have children and want them to walk safely with me and I need to be able to assess how I’m being perceived ethnically so my children and I don’t run into dangerous situations. In Germany, Most neo nazis live in the former East Germany. I currently live in Berlin and when I lived quite deep in the former east of Berlin I almost got ran over twice as i was pushing my baby in buggy at a Green light because I was wearing my natural, very afro textured hair. Once I called one out and called her a Nazi (something Germans esp liberals are extremely careful to call someone without being dead sure - so no Neo Nazi uniform, no calling someone that in the streets), in any case she responded with „yeah, so“ confirming my assumption. So this light skin privilege seems to be a privilege of being able to hide one’s actual race and racial identity and somehow that seems perverse as hiding is not something I agree with and feeling like I’m hiding in plain sight is literally a surreal experience at this point….

Hey, so i've been using these earbuds for quite a long time and i like them, but the issue is that everytime when i connect them it asks me to set up a google assistant but due to living in Czech, there is no localization for Google Assistant, so it fails everytime when i press proceed on the setup, and there are no other option than that, is it possible to turn it off at least? or set it up in English Language so it would not ask me anymore? In JBL app its impossible to turn off either or at least the set up process.

I am 30f and I've been living in Green valley for about a year now. I am a Type 1 diabetic. I've had diabetes since childhood and it's been a really tough.
I ran out of my insulin last night and I'm really worried because I can't go for a whole day without my insulin.
I budgeted for my insulin but some unexpected car expenses came up. I had to patch one of my car tires yesterday, and now I am $32 short on getting my monthly insulin refill.
My monthly refill cost $35 a month. But sadly, I'm really broke right now (I only have $3 to my name, and I won't get paid until Friday).
I'm super worried because I don't really have any friends or family to lean on and I don't wanna go to the ER because (I can't afford it).
I'm kinda new to reddit but I just thought I'd ask for help on here because Green valley doesn't have a subreddit. I'm not sure what else to do and I'm starting to panic. I'd be glad if anyone could assist me in getting my insulin. I'm $32 short. Or if anyone has Novolog insulin around Green valley, that'll be great too.
If anyone could help, I'd update my post and let everyone know I got the help I need.
I'm really worried and I can't sleep. I'm pretty much begging for my life at this point. Someone please help.

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So before I talk about timeline placement I have my biggest thing I’m confused about. So in the game Ganondorf has been sealed for 10000 years yada yada. Ok so we have Ganondorf being sealed away we get that but my next thing is what the Gerudo prophecy or whatever you would call it. “Every 100 years a garudo man is born into existence… so my question is. Since link was sleeping for so long in breath of the wild at some point there should have been a Gerudo child being born male… but you don’t see that. And Ganondorf is basically chillin down below waiting to get his chance to rule hyrule.
To me this doesn’t make sense unless it’s all based on the idea there is a stipulation to the 100 year nonsense.
There must be a hidden rule that im plays that there can’t be another male Gerudo unless that person no longer exists. And just because a being is forgotten about doesn’t mean they don’t exist so then that means the Ganondorf from the main timeline is literally a different being in it of itself meaning that:

1. This is a reboot like a lot of people are assumeing
2. It’s an alternate reality to where it makes the timeline actually make sense in a way that is just patching things they couldn’t patch in the original

So this is my thoughts on the timeline that makes this seem helpful imo:

1. Skyward sword did happen just not the way we got the ending in the actual game.
   
2. Link and Zelda did go to the surface but did not found hyrule but Instead live happily ever after having a child named Sonia.
   

Now the issue that I just address is this before we even continue with my mindset on a timeline. Why didn’t Sonia recognize the name as something familiar? If Zelda was the name of her mother you would think that she would have commented about it unless we don’t get that implication because Zelda wasn’t her mom but some other hylian. Maybe Zelda changed her name after her decent downward calling herself Hylia.
So does that mean link become Zelda’s (hylias) husband? That would be uncertain to because Links name was spoken and Sonia didn’t give much reference besides saying that Zelda was worried about him. Maybe Sonia didn’t see it was necessary to but wouldn’t rauru catch that name because I would assume Sonia talked to Rauru about her life and who were her parents? So then who were Sonia’s parents?
So a new number two has to be in place that would give us implication that maybe link and Zelda did make it down from the sky but never decided to make Hyrule a thing as all and had children. So that means there new timeline continuation would be:

1. Link and Zelda, also known as Hylia, have children and that founds the race of land Hylians that many years have come to which Sonia is apart of that royal bloodline that makes her decide it is ready to found a kingdom.
   
2. Rauru being being one of the last of a rare race called the zonai meet with Sonia and they connect together which then they get married and also found the land of Hyrule.
   
3. Ganondorf tries to attack to take over Hyrule but fails so he then befriends them to gain their trust so he can betray them.
   

5 . Sonia’s stone is taken from her and she dies because of this.
6.Rauru and the sages he assembled fight again Ganondorf and they can’t stop him thus Rauru seals them Ganondorf away with no idea if it’ll be all in vain or not.
Now at this point you would be asking where is Zelda in all of this? And I would be happy to say that she is there just not in this situation. This reality Zelda isn’t here to assist with stopping Ganondorf. So my next big thing I would need to answer is. What did they remaining sages do while Rauru was holding down Ganondorf? Did they decide to find another sage of light since Rauru was away? I don’t think that could work because what would give them the powers of that sage to the new possible sage? It was Rauru himself that gave the stones to the others for power. Also at this point what did Mineru do while her brother was sealed? Perhaps she had the power to make more stones to then have another? My only thing I can think of is all the sages decided that since they couldn’t do anything they would just watch out for their people until they have passed and their souls as sages passed on 10000 years to their new lineage of sages which then passes on to the champions in breath of the wilds lineage being with tears of the kingdom.
Out of all the champions lineages Sidon was around when Mipha, his sister, was a champion of Zelda’s.
So knowing all this what can we say which games are apart of this timeline?

1. Skyward sword but the ending is possibly changed
2. Ocarina of time since all the sages were established.

Now the issue with this is being Ocarina of Time had no sage of lightning but it was a Sage of shadows and the sage of spirit was a Gerudo. So then does that mean OOT was slightly changed in this too? Yes because this is an alternate reality. So that means the Gerudo were apart of a lightning affinity and not a spirt one like in the original timeline.
But then where does link come into play? Because technically 9983 years had to be without a hero. So does that mean Ganondorf was the born so long ago without a savior? Based on the game yes link and Zelda were not there until Zelda make another alternate timeline that she helps out as the sage of Time and is a dragon for 10000 years healing the master sword to be even stronger. So that would mean Link was never able to help out at all until 10000 years later.
So if anything that means this all was not apart of the original prophecy that demise established because they should of all been alive around the same time but they were not.
To end my rant off here. A lot of this is confusing to myself because it leaves so many questions as well as guessing as to what happening between the 10000 years of history.

Long Story Short. I Dropped out of School in the 6th grade.Stayed Inside Playing Xbox, untill 18 completely ruining my social Skills.& Education. First Job Was At Amazon. Bright Lights , Overstimulation, Heart Beating Fast, And feeling Awkward. Close to 30 Now, Still No Friends, Or "Stable Employment",But from Where i started I still consider Myself A Success Story.
Just a List of random things/advice/shit to think about below.
1.You will devolop an almost 6th Sense for feeling people out, You will be very sensitive to body language and Tone of voice ques,

1. Work on your Confidence. The quickest improvment you will see in social anxiety will come from improving your confidence. Self Improvement builds confidence,Getting In shape,Dropping Weight,Haircut,Acne ect.

Doesn't matter if life handed you lemons. Make yourself the most attractive version of yourself you can be, Not to please others but to feel good in your own body which will help when you socialise

1. You have to stop giving a FK You give entirely too many FKS about what people think of you and how they perceive you. The awkward looks they give you.

Most of the time when you say or do something awkward people are going to make a face like they just sharted and the smell is hurting there brain.
Oh well. You said something awkard, and recived a bad look. So what. Fck them. They can fck off.
Take it from me. You give entirely too much thought and F**cks about other people and what they're thinking in there minds.
In 2023 it has never been easier to be a careless weirdo embrace who you're. Everyone canot be the cool outgoing party person. Do not envy them. Embrace who you're. You cant swim against the current all your life trying to be something or someone you're not. There are introverts & outroverts embrace your team.

1. Become comfortable with your voice. Ever heard the saying" you love to hear yourself talk"

Grab a book, Read it out loud. Heck grab a few books on social anxiety or psychology and read them outloud! Grab a story book and read it with live acting. Become comfortable hearing your own voice, Sing a full song. Use your voice as much as you can. You're a human being with the ability to Speak. No other Animal Can Speak. Speaking is your human right.Again if your speaking comes off weird, or awkward oh fcking well.I guess they Sharted.
You will lose friends with age. one thing ive noticed as i get older the family members and associates start focusing more and more on there immediate family. With work,after school programs,side hustles,business meetings,cleaning,adult responsibilities there will be less time for friend activities. The friend thing becomes much less important after 25.
Dating and employment may be more difficult for you, dosent mean you should settle. but if you find a happy place maybe you should. Being a police officer maybe too social demanding for you. Maybe consider forklift operator. Maybe trying to score beyonce is a long shot. Grab a lizzo and start a happy family. If you can do better then do your best. Depending on your own individual circumstances you may have to take what you can get... To live the best life you can live. Never compare your self to others. Social Media and modern TV Is a mental illness factory stay away.

1. Do not be overly picky about your circle. Even with social anxiety i was iffy about hanging out with the uncool kids in school, so instead i was an uncool kid chasing around the cool kids, i looked very foolish. Like i said earlier. Embrace your own team. Or as we say in the hood get in where you fit in.

6.Exposure therapy works. Just like when you become numb to embarrassment from being embarrassed so much, that it becomes a superpower Like "Joe from Impractical jokers"
The same thing with exposure therapy. Only takes a few really wild fcked up heart racing party/club sessions or concerts for you to have experinced the worst. After doing the worse social experiment life has to offer a few times. Talking to one person will have alot less anxiety. Do it. Rip The Bandaid off and get the worse over with. Some of you need to walk to the middle of a crowded park, or time square. And shout with a bull horn. The stupidest awkard comment you can. Hell wear a mask the first time. Stare your fear in the face and bask in the awkward ness. And as you nervously walk away. You will have assassinated your social anxiety demon. They cursed at you and made you crawl into a bubble.
But you did not die. You will have been liberated. Disclaimer: this is not to become an asshole or be completly careless about what you say to others. But intially this is to get you comfortable with Speaking and receiving negative feedback. Which somone with social anxiety fears most.
7 Take Supplements Never Drugs. Im nervous about recommending this but im being transparent... Alcohol is liquid courage. USE it as a medicine, Only take a small amount. Learn how to take One two shots or 2 beers and stop. Just chill and cruise it will take the edge off. If you abuse this you will ruin your self more. Dont go down that road. But when avaliable for dates partys ect. You may want to consider having a small dose to calm your nerves. IF you do not have will power or self control best to just ignore this.
Research Lions mane,Ashwaganda, CBD, And the wim Hof breathing method/cold showers.
Will help your physical symptoms of anxiety. Rapid heart beating,hot flashes. Jittery ect.
Finally After trying all of these methods, if you still require assistance consider seeking professional help. There are levels to social anxiety if you defeat a few levels yourself may only take a few sessions to get you to where you need to be.
Most of the extraverts you see that are comfortably speaking would be terrified to give a speech to a live audience. Stage fright is a common fear. Even amongnst outgoing people. This proves there are levels to ones social anxiety. Increase your level.

1. i recomend watching Impractical Jokers < Hilarious I recomend reading Don miguel ruiz the four aggrements and his son don jose ruiz the 5th agreement And voice of knowledge All by the same authors.

Life changing books! Read them out loud!
9.The social anxiety population is increasing world wide, especially in asian countries. You're not alone, as the world switches to technology more and more people are having less social interactions. Kids barely even play out side anymore.

1. If you're of the christian faith consider seeking deliverance. On a spiritual level there cound be demonic possession giving you a fear of people. ✌️

4AM writing this hopefully it blesses someone stay strong.

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I am planning on taking a road trip in July from west to east across the vast land of USA. This is not my first major road trip so have some experience before but not in USA so i need some advice. Recently last summer in '22 i went on a 7000 km (+4300 miles) road trip from northern Norway where i live, down to Germany, Czechia, Austria, back to Germany and up again so i have experience driving long distance. That trip i did in 2 and a half weeks.
What to know is that i am travelling solo but is up to doing group activities and get to know others on the trip. Rental car and airline tickets are booked. I have 20 days on me on this major trip.

• Where to eat?
• What chains of hotels/motels to stay at? (not specific of where)
• Activities to do? (together with a group)
• Any other recommendations?

I have planned Airbnb in LA and NYC but rest will be hotels and motels. I don't need an answer of specifically where to stay at. I won't reveal my accomodation plans. I will be starting in LA and head to Las Vegas. I plan to stay 5 days in LA, 3 days in Las Vegas and 3 days in NYC. From Las Vegas i plan to head back on historic route 66 in Kingman, AZ. I am not sure if i have time to visit Dallas on day trips when i am in Oklahoma City and also not sure if i will be heading short time into Toronto in Canada. That is up to the rental company if they allow it and if it is any time left for it. I will be flying from Oslo to Los Angeles and flying back to Oslo when i arrive in NYC. I have 3 days to stay in NYC and plane leaves very late on last day so have lots of time exploring more of NYC on the last day. Or i can add a day to other parts of my trip. I might be heading back to NYC sometime again, maybe during Christmas holiday.

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hey everyone, hope you're doing well. Last month or so, i was feeling overwhelmed and made a post about possibly taking a break from RS, and there seemed to be a lot of support from other addicts/daily players/returning players/casual/new players, etc... it was really eye opening and has increased the quality of my life two-fold. i appreciate anyone who took the time to comment and share their story or give advice.
flash forward a month or two unto this very moment, i've decided that i'll be officially leaving (dailyscape) june 12th. with more immediate changes like playtime reduction and physical activity happening today monday june 5th.
i really really love this game, and all of my online friends. it's practically all i live for, and while it's been a good 3-4ish years, i really need to stop sitting down for like 8-18/+ hrs daily. it's draining, and i'm sleepless most days. my arms, back, knees, very weak. whats crazy is that doesnt even include my time spent on the cellphone scrolling reddit/twitteinstagram/youtube all day.
My diet has been daily 2-4litres of coca cola/pepsi soda and tens of thousands of dollars in delivery orders. which at times has put me in the negatives/debt and neapenniless several times. even wasnt able to pay my rent one time because of it and that was a bad month playing catch up. all while still playing the same amount. and it's crazy cuz there was a solid year or two where i only survived because i stumbled into a situation with an abusive but somewhat caring partner who kept me fed and would help me with housework. enabling me to play more. and instead of caring about my situation and doing something about it, i didn't tell anyone until it was too late for me. i was afraid of losing food and extra rs playtime comfort, and they used it against me in the worst ways. but thats on me. nobody else. not the point of the post, but just saying that focusing solely on Runescape can really prevent you from 'running and escaping' your real problems. in the real world. it's like putting blinders on a horse... all fine and dandy because it can carry a few hundred extra pounds, but eventually some miles down the road it will possibly have some sort of fracture/injury/death.
im now fully aware that i hid/e behind my addiction and it's not helping long-term. no matter what i tell myself, and what my 'friends' and commenters have said.. it's not cool.... and its not healthy to play hours on end every single day, unless you;re already maybe housebound or chronically ill. but the exception does'nt make the rule.
in recent months it seems like everyone wants to throw around the word 'fomo' (fear of missing out) and it can be a real thing forsure, but only if you let it be.
i/we need to be accountable instead of something like chuckling at our 'time played' on steam overlay. it's really not funny bros.
same with "just logging for dailies" it's never just that most times, and doing every reaper + daily + dnd x2/4 back to back within a small timeframe certainly does'nt help either. the xp and gp rates are some of the best for the time played... i can agree, forsure. but is it really fun in comparison to a full life outside of runescape? really think about that.. it took me lots of notetaking and comparison/research/conversations just to even start thinking. i was sold the illusion that i can do whatever i want because it's my life. which is true!!! and hey i definitley loved playing 12=18 hours some days, forsure, but i couldnt begin to tell you how many times ive played for days and weeks on end with not a glimmer of hope.. just because i wanted to force prgoression. it's scary to think back on it sometimes because whenever i look at my window from outside on the way home now one of the first thoughts is "wow i cant believe i've sat behind that curatin for 250+ days playtime".... almost literally can't unsee the imaginary shadow of depression that lurks in my window.
when people say "do whatever you want" they almost will never lay out the consequences for you.. because it's your situation to deal with... and that's fair. figuring stuff out on your own is oftentimes a really large part of life, i mean heck me and my buddies would joke about touching grass and opening the curtains for sun these past years.. like i mean yeah it's an mmorpg, but it should'nt be the end of our lives. confined to a chair. i literally didnt realize the damage i was doing.
funny story, so two weeks ago i bought an $80 mop and spin bucket instead of ordering takeout food for the day. when it arrived i realized i couldnt even sweep or mop because i had hundreds of soda cans, delivery food bags, and random stuff all over the floor. after spending 12 hours cleaning it up, i mopped the floor for the first time in........ 16 months? maybe longer? was probably like near xmas 2021 last time i swiffered/reusable mop, and wow bros i mean wow.... i know i forgot and i knew it was dirty all the time.. but like.. not that dirty.. it literally took me x4 buckets on each section of my apartment, a whole bottle of floor cleaner, and lots and lots and lots of moving around.. even passed out from exhaustion at one point. it was embarassing.... i felt like asmongold when he went to build his ikea bedframe with pinksparkles, but couldnt because he was too lightheaded. if anyone knows what im talking about you know thats not a good thing lol.
after i woke up to nice clean floors, but messy everything else, i revisted the old post i made about contemplating a break, and it was like i had a sudden realization that mopping my floors is only 1/100th of the responsibility and accountability i should be holding in my daily life. fr. since those past few weeks i have now swept and mopped every other day with the windows and curtains open. it has literally been changing my life. going barefoot ona nice clean floor with a fresh scent really makes the place feel like 'home' and brightened up. i dont know how to explain it bros but i promise if theres one small step thats worth making.. its having a clean floor, clean kitchen, clean bathroom, and clean bed. feels like a 5-star hotel or some kind of exspensive airb&b rental. which is crazy.
so odd to think with the money ive spent to be a degen on rs3, i could've been pursuing my dreams of nationwide, and worldwide travelling - literally could've even bought a small piece of land, fixed up an old vehicle, and camper trailer aswell. all of my major life goals would've been met... odd.
starting to realize it's really weird how i have many accounts, billions of xp, gold, rares, etc... but truly not very much to show in the real world other than my awesome personality and smile. which means a lot to a select few, sure, but probably means nothing to the majority.
nobody except my rs friends and readers of this post know that i sometimes stay inside for 1-12 months at a time (zero sunlight) playing 12 hour days the majority of the week. it's always been my little secret that i sweep under the rug. like a dirty little cave goblin.
i really don't know any helpline phone numbers anyone can call if there in the same position as me, because i've never had any assistance or anybody to talk to except the people i play with everyday, and honestly while playing does help in the moment, it's not ideal. not saying you cant do it like i did or keep doing it or whatever.. your call homies, but like this post is specifically for the bros wanting to pursue recovery and make positive change.. not quit.. just fix things to a healthy playstyle.
it's not impossible bros, please don't give up and relapse if there's something you want to achieve in the real world. we're all gonna make it brah. i promise you.
someone said it a few months ago on here and i cant remember who, but "RS will always be there for us. always. and the real homies will keep your discord and rsn on their list." and with max cash + necromancy being released soon, i just know for my sake that it's time to slow things down. i can't/won't play catch up with re-maxing my acc/s and finshing trim. i just cant do it for my health sake and at this point im finally OK with it taking years.
irdk if this post is even allowed, but i just really wanted to share my experience of addiction and my journey to a healthy recovery and healthy playtime.
i really love everyone in this subreddit and lots of people on the rs official discord server. except the trolls of course! lol! but yeah RS family.. it's time i start being a more casual player instead of daily addiction. i miss sitting down in a restraunt, going on hikes, going to gym, tanning, basic hygiene. you know normal everyday human stuff that's shown to increase quality of your life. all the stuff that i used to somewhat do before covid pandemic. which isnt an excuse. just saying the pandemic really exacerbated my already bad situation and ended up putting blinders on. thats all. my fault 100%.
hang in there bros, you're not alone ,not now not in the past not in the future, you have more support than you know and all it takes is making those first few steps... sometimes and id probably personally even go as far to say.. most times those first steps and reaching out to someone can be the hardest. i'm living proof of that, but every centimeter you move forward is another centimeter from falling back, bros. which really makes all the difference.
really really hope everyone has a really good monday update and monday morning... and a really productive week too - y'all are on my mind all the time and i don't know where i'd be and what i'd be doing without y'all. this community has saved me and rebuilt me from the ground up too many times to count. thankyou coomunity.
also goodnight to the late night players who didnt go to bed a hella longtime ago, lolz. imma get a few hours of sleep too then need to walk across town and drop off some mail.
but yeah if anyone needs a buddy for the next few days or wants to learn some pvm/skilling tips, or even just vent for some support or something about ur addiction... i'll be around a little bit for the next week on reddit and ingame for small stuff until june 12.
also p.s. i'll end this with a hot-take: Mental health awareness event and the matching MHAW promo that ended early was absolutely terrible and did my/friends mental health no favours. which we're aware is our fault, but really just seemed like one big, poorly planned, cash grab.
have a great week y'all

This is a long one, so buckle in.
I'm from a financially destitute, single-father household in a wealthy but isolated, rural part of a notoriously economically-depressed metro area in the United States. I am 26 years old and eight years ago I became the first in my family to attend college. Four years ago, I graduated with a humanities B.A. and the intention of working as an administrative assistant, or in food service. The idea was to live at home for two or three years and do that while working on my music projects and saving for grad school. What actually happened is that I have been in and out of homelessness and am constantly teetering on the verge of suicide.
I have been applying for jobs since my sophomore year of high school. In my state, if you're under 18 you are required to have a written job offer in-hand in order to apply for the required government work permit. I never received any offers after hundreds of applications to mostly part-time service industry work. The big problem was that I had no means of transportation, had no social connections or family support, and was enrolled in a selective, rigorous magnet program for school which made employers believe I was too busy to work reliably. I volunteered extensively in my hometown and networked, but could never break into retail, food service, or any other traditional entry-point. Everything at that level was taken by people with family connections.
After moving for college, I continued applying and received no interest. I was rejected from multiple jobs on-campus which advertised themselves as hiring "anyone." I scored an unpaid but prestigious summer internship after junior year, in my home metro area's largest city. It was my first real job interview and I was immediately offered the position over the phone at the end of the conversation. Had an incredible time there.
I graduated and continued my job hunt, finding temporary employment with a few political campaigns several hundred miles from home. After one in early 2020 ended, I spent two years unemployed and going into debt to seek professional help. It accomplished nothing and my next temporary job offer was two and a half years later, over 2000 miles away in North Dakota, doing landscaping on a remote golf course for $15 an hour minus a $7/day payroll charge for food from the company. I was being sexually assaulted and left that for another politics job, and that one ended quickly thereafter. That was my most recent job, and I found it by deciding to drive to Vermont and live out of my car with no planning. I arrived and was employed within a week, but could not find anything after the campaign ended.
My go-to professional references are a highly-regarded professor, an incumbent gubernatorial cabinet secretary, and the president of a volunteer organization I have worked with for 20 years; but I also have several other less flashy ones. I have many friends in high places, but I also can not get hired at Burger King and have run out of businesses to apply with in my commutable area.
I've never had access to any kind of healthcare. I was born with very severe back problems which we could never afford to treat, and working a trade is not an option. I am transgender and have made no progress toward transitioning despite having known this for twelve years because I have never had any disposable income. I am completely desperate to do any job whatsoever and fear I have been permanently ostracized from birth because of poverty. I am grateful to have very little undergraduate debt due to receiving extensive need and merit aid, but that doesn't matter very much when I make about $5,000 per year. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do other than spontaneously relocate, becoming homeless again since I have $50 to my name and it worked very well for me the last time. Besides my father, I have essentially no other family and no one else in my life is willing to house me. My gender has been a persistent factor in this.
I would appreciate any help that could be offered. This is a last-ditch cry for help. I apply broadly, I don't limit my applications by industry or sector very much, and I tailor my resumé to each job ad I act on, but that doesn't seem to matter because I have essentially no work experience. I've been refunded by multiple resumé consulting services and have exhausted the temp agencies in my area.
This could be goodnight but I refuse to accept it. Please, someone advise me.