Why cant i use flame sling
Grammar
2008.05.06 22:53 Grammar
A subreddit for questions and discussions about grammar, language, style, conventions[,] and punctuation.
2012.06.24 20:27 Themoneymancan Should I Buy This Game?
Have you ever wanted to buy a game on Steam but didn't know if it was good? Have you ever had just enough money for an indie game but didn't know whether it was worth buying? Have you ever asked yourself, "Should I buy this game?"
2015.03.03 20:26 kittydentures Skin care for people over 30
Skin care is a pretty big deal, and we love subs like /SkinCareAddiction, however we felt there needed to be a sub that deals specifically with skin that's over 30. Share your questions, frustrations and triumphs!
2023.06.07 00:45 slinkipher Went to the gym by myself for the first time and am completely demoralized
This actually doesn't have anything to do with my weight or how I look. I've been going to the gym, doing weight lifting, for the past two years but I was doing small group classes at a personal trainer's studio. As you can imagine, this was very expensive but when I first joined I had never properly worked out in my life and had no idea what I was doing. I learned a ton from them so it was worth every penny but as time went on, I got more skilled, my usual trainer left, and other changes to the gym made me feel like it wasn't worth the money anymore.
In my area there basically only two big lifting gyms (that aren't expensive personal training studios). The one I was considering joining had a promotion over memorial day weekend where you could sign up with no contract (meaning if you cancel then they won't charge you) and get a deal but it was only if you signed up that day. I would be saving over $200 per month by switching to this gym. So, I signed up and told my old gym I was leaving without ever having gone to the new gym.
I went to the new gym for the first time today. I usually work out after work and I went in expecting it to be slightly busy. It was awful. The facility and equipment were fine but it was SO BUSY. All the bench presses were taken, all the benches next to the dumbbells were taken, all the cable machines were taken. It seemed like people were there in groups and lots of people seemed to know each other. They didn't have resistance bands or if they did I couldn't find them. They also didn't seem to have 2.5 lb plates. The only dumbbells that were free were 5, 10 and 70+ lb ones, everything between 15-65 lbs was taken. I spent a good deal of time wandering around not knowing what do because everything was being used and I definitely looked like a fish out of water. I had to do my program out of order because I had to jump on equipment whenever it was free and I had to do some exercises with less weight than I wanted to because there were no dumbbells.
Side note, what is the etiquette when you want to use a piece of gym equipment that is taken. Do you just stand off to the side and wait until they are done?
When I finally got on a bench press, it felt significantly heavier than I expected. I even asked someone if it was a 45 lb bar because it felt 5-10 lbs heavier but they said it was 45 lbs. I ended up benching a lot less than what I expected and was really disappointed. I didn't even finish my whole program I just went home afterwards.
Clearly I can't go after work, it is just way to busy but I don't know when else I can workout that would be sustainable for me. I can't see myself sticking with waking up at like 5 or 6 am to go to the gym for very long. Nor can I see myself going later at night when I'm usually in my pjs.
Sorry I just needed to vent. Literally all my fears about going to the gym by myself came true
submitted by
slinkipher to
loseit [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:45 Birdhouse_Soul00 DM railroads party and ignores mostly any non-combat solutions
Hey, I've recently got into DnD since the start of December [M20]. So far I've had 6 DMs so I've learned to tell apart the good from the bad somewhat.
I don't know much Reddit stuff and I'm not exactly good at TLTRs so bear with me. I've also decided to tell this story on an alt to avoid harassment towards my end or the DM's.
So where do we begin? It all started when my last DM decided to drop the campaign after many people left it and even tho I've found the start of it pretty slow it got pretty fun when we crossed a certain point. So I wanted to get back into a new game to fill in a new slot.
I found a post in
lfg where the OP(our soon-to-be new DM) welcomes everyone into his discord server). In hindsight, it was a red flag that anyone could join in with no questions asked. Desperate as I am to get into a running 5e campaign that fits in with my schedule, I joined in.
After a few days and some asking, we've come to find out that out of like 10 server members in here only 4 of us were going to play(later it would be bumped up to 5). We were playing Curse of Strahd and I could already tell the DM was a lot less experienced than most of the DMs I've played with. He didn't have much planned out and I had to ask him to make a r20 link before our first session. I did my best with my limited knowledge of r20 to teach him to assign me a character sheet and fortunately, I got my character done before the deadline.
Even tho he's obviously inexperienced as DM I can't really give him much credit with preparation when my first DM happened to be a first-timer at the time and did a much better job of handling stuff.
Anyways, it was the first session and about 4 of us party members were ready. DM told us to be level 3 and we eventually figured out why after a few combat encounters.
DM seems to be playing it by the books as I catch him accidentally reading out stuff that we aren't supposed to know lol. We were railroaded throughout the adventure as well.
My character, a former servant who recently began impersonating a missing nobleman, was a muit-class rogue-fighter and I've played him as a guy who will usually bullshit his way out of any situation with his words.
There was a wizard, another multi-class, and a pure rogue I'm the party. However, the rogue and I were the most talkative out of the party. The thing to note with the rogue is that his race happens to be changeling so he would use his shape-shifting whenever he needs it.
Back to the story, the DM openly reads out a couple of G slurs from the module. As someone who is very uncomfortable with anyone saying and also trying to give the DM the best chance in the first session, I've asked if this was just him reading the module and not something he added on his own. After explaining to him that it's a slur for the Romanian people he kinda brushes it off.
If my problems ended with that whole scene I honestly probably wouldn't have made this post.
Anyways, after the party introduction we were sold pastries from some old lady (this will be important later). I rolled my first insight check on her and rolled terribly(this is also going to be a trend going on). So I bought the pastry. Rogue still seems to be suspicious of her even tho he also bought it.
We went off to wherever we went. I won't tell you exactly everything just the highlights.
After being tricked by some ghost children. We enter this haunted house. This is where I realize that the DM is just telling us everything from the book as it was redundant to investigate or do insight on whatever.
After some spooky stuff happened we found a stairway down to the basement. We found what the DM tells us is a mannequin replica of Strahd so our Rogue went ahead and changed into him and thank God for that. He scared away any cultists around while we proceed to convince these awful parents to no-life themselves after we found out what they did to their own kids.
This was honestly the best part of the campaign as I felt like we actually had some agency and even managed to avoid combat by using the situation to our advantage.
Still, we had to fight one monster in that creepy basement.
There's nothing really important I can mention after this point but I do remember a lot of party members and NPCs vampire-checking each other with mirrors. We agreed to help this one woman with something and that's around when session 1 ended.
Session 2 I woke up a little late, so I rushed to my computer for this.
After a couple of rail roady moments and telling us everything about every single NPC, the DM had us fight some wolves. We killed all but the big wolf who was later revealed to be a werewolf.
This one random woman showed up and specifically charmed me before I could do an insight check. Apparently, my 19 failed the check. This didn't really affect anything other than RP where I start to notice that my character keeps failing his insight and wisdom checks that I had to play him like a naive dork.
We later found a child muttering something important so the rogue and I tag-team persuade him into spilling out the information.
Out of character, I knew the pastries had to be something fucked up but I had to check with the DM if I failed my insight on the old lady and I found out that my character trusted her words. So I just gave it to this kid and I guess it worked cause he told us everything.
In hindsight, I felt like the DM was working really hard to avoid us having dice rolls with these persuasion checks even tho we all roll horribly on insight anyways.
Anything that can be turned into dice rolls that are RP-like the DM will bullshit his way out of. He could be rolling in private but he certainly didn't want to try rolling cause he'll ignore us whenever we suggest anything that isn't combat.
Anyways we were given a bunch of things to look out for. We met a guy and his monkey with a doll that looked like the very woman we were helping. Somehow we got him to talk but we left to go look for wine.
At some point, we return to the guy with the monkey. He muttered "Curse of Strahd" and we all heard it. So we pressed him on and tried to do everything in our abilities to get him to talk. Rogue tries to charm the man. I stole his journal. Someone else I believe started threatening him. At one point I lied to the man and 'promised' that I would give him some treasures using my fake nobility.
Before the DM considers any of our ideas or does anything with them he just has the guy memory wipe everyone. I forgot what spell it was but we all failed our saving rolls. I still wonder what was the point of that whole thing only to have the NPC make our characters forget everything with no warning.
We left, unaware of why we were in this guy's room. We went off and found this old place. There we found the same old lady from the other day as well as her friends. Rogue sneaks up to find children kidnapped in this place.
One other party member was chatting with these old ladies and we both realize that they were cooking children. Out of character, I knew they were too high-level to fight so I figure it would be best to threaten these hags with my nobility.
I lied about having soldiers coming through as backup and that they should surrender. With no hesitation, the DM sandbags my attempt at intimidation and have one of them blast me to an unconscious state.
Meanwhile, the rogue convinced all the kids with a nat 20 to climb down a rope to safety and head towards the one adult waiting outside. He rushed in with his child disguise and got locked in place by one of the hags.
A God of whatever-his-name-is shows up in my dream to grant me power. I asked for the catch and he said there was none. So I took it and went back up to one HP.
The hags were stunned by the fact I just got back up and I proceeded to threaten them by stating that my nobility granted me special permissions to have access to greater powers. Again, no dice rolls or anything. The DM just has one of them cast sleep on me.
This all happened with no turn order or initiative. Now at this point, this should've been a TPK and I really wanted it to be so that I can be done with the session. But no the hags humiliated us and none of the children managed to escape.
They left us with more pastry and I was about done with this game. I lost all of my motivation to roleplay or even try anything new and I certainly know smacking shit with a weapon isn't going to be the best option in these scenarios.
I muted myself and left an hour after when we agreed on leaving after another fight.
I know this isn't exactly the worst story out there in this subreddit but this was pretty bad in my experience. I'll talk to my DM pretty soon about leaving as this session just happened today.
TLD/ DM welcomes everyone into the game only to end up with 4-5 party members. DM railroads the entire party and reads out everything in the book. Openly denies us trying any non-combat solutions with a few exceptions. Lasted 2 sessions before I started thinking about leaving.
Thank you for reading.
submitted by
Birdhouse_Soul00 to
rpghorrorstories [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:44 ashlioness Need some advice on my fiancé inviting someone to our wedding that I don't want there
I have to give some back story so that where I am today makes sense to everyone, so this might be a little long.
So my fiancé has been friends with this girl (we'll call her B) for over 10 years as she's the sister of one of his old, good friends and they all used to hang out. When my fiancé and I first got together, she would go over to his place occasionally and with me not knowing her, it made me somewhat uncomfortable that they would be hanging out alone. From what he told me (and what I later experienced myself) she would just come over and vent about her relationship problems while he just sat and watched TV and listened.
When I eventually moved in with my fiancé, I made it known that I didn't really like the idea of them hanging out alone especially with me not around and me not knowing her, so if she were to reach out to him and ask to hang out/come over, that he would check if I would be around at that same time so the three of us could hang out and I could get to know her as well. So he respected that and moving forward he communicated to B that he wanted to see if I would be around as well if she wanted to come over.
The first time I met her and she came over to hangout, low and behold she just ran her mouth about her ex (we'll call him Jay) and how he treated her terribly. It was the only thing she ever wanted to talk about and this conversation always came up when she'd come over. It obviously became exhausting. Nevertheless, we got a long and became, I suppose, more of acquaintances rather than official friends really, but I had no problems with her after getting to know her, to an extent. She did mention to me one time while we were out that some of the girls' husbands in our friend group had texted her in the past seemingly wanting to meet up/hook up and she seemed pretty boastful about that. That was a bit of a red flag to me as I was just starting to get to know the wives/husbands in the friend group (friend group consists of all the friends my fiancé essentially grew up with).
A month or so later, B ends up getting back with Jay and both my fiancé and I we're quite dumbfounded.
My fiancé and I are avid brewery goers and us and our very large friend group would always frequent the same brewery that we were regulars at. One day my fiancé got a text from B saying her and Jay were going to go to the brewery and if we would hang out with them. I personally told my fiancé that after all the time she invested in complaining about Jay and telling us how he treated her, that I just wasn't interested in hanging out with both of them like that right away and my fiancé felt the same way, so my fiancé texted her (in a nice way) exactly that to be honest with her and that we would sit this one out for the moment. After that we didn't really hear from B as she was spending all of her time with Jay.
A few months later I had noticed that B completely blocked me on all social media. I thought it was extremely odd as I couldn't figure out why. I brought it up to my fiancé and she was still friends with him on everything, so that made it even more confusing. About a year later I was out at another brewery with my fiancé and a couple other friends and we ran into her. Both her and I had gone outside at one point to somewhat catch up, but I also found that as an opportunity to inquire as to why she ended up blocking me on everything. From what she told me, she said that the reason was because that she assumed that I had told my fiancé not to hang out with her anymore and that I was the reason that we didn't meet up with them that night she asked us to hang out with her and Jay at the brewery. I had to clarify that my fiancé is a grown man and makes his own decisions and his own opinions on things and that I in no way contributed in how he felt personally or how he responded to her that night, but we ultimately both felt the same way about it. Regardless, I was pretty irritated by her explanation on this as I felt it was really immature on her part to go about it the way that she did instead of just coming to me and talking about it. I'm not really the type to deal with people like that and typically have no problem just cutting people off, so that kind of set the tone on how I felt about her moving forward and I just really wasn't interested in making an effort in regards to a friendship at that point. Both my fiancé and I never talk to her anymore anyway so it wasn't like it was a loss for me.
My fiancé fully knows how I feel about her and that I just have zero interest in her all together. Well, he ran into her recently and he brought up the wedding and decided to verbally invite her. He came home and told me and I clearly wasn't happy about it. It didn't cause any argument or anything, but I made it clear that I wasn't stoked that he did that without talking to me about it first, because initially she wasn't on the guest list spreadsheet that we both have access to and well, he knows that I flat out just don't care for her. We're also doing a no kids wedding and apparently she was pressing him about bringing her son.
Fast forward to Saturday, we were all at the brewery (yes, we love the brewery's out where we live) with the friend group and at this point in time, I'm best friends with all the wives now, some are even my bridesmaids. We were on the topic of our guest list for the wedding and I had brought up how all of a sudden I had noticed on Friday when I was adding addresses to the guest list that B's name was on there (I didn't add it obviously). That's when everyone just looked at me and said "no" and that's when I found out no one likes B because she's just super immature and very "pick me". I had a convo with one of the wives (we'll call her Jessica) about how I really don't want her there, but it's not just my wedding, it's my fiancé's too, so I feel like I need to compromise, but Jessica flat out said "no, you tell him no, and if I have to, I'll tell him he can't invite her because it makes you uncomfortable and the last thing he should want is for you to be uncomfortable on the biggest day of your lives and boundaries need to be set, it's as simple as that".
So now I feel like I'm stuck in a pickle with this whole thing. Is Jessica right? or should I find compromise on inviting her although I would have no interest in talking to her the entire day of the wedding?
What do you guys think? Has this happened to you before?
submitted by
ashlioness to
wedding [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:44 xxvamprxx how do I (19f) fix my relationship with my boyfriend (18M)
so my boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months but we have been a thing for over a year and have known eachother for 6+ years. theres a problem that keeps arising but there has been many. first of all, he has loved me for years and treats me pretty well and I love him more than anything. but since the beginning of our relationship hes been getting off to pics/videos of other women. I told him to not do it anymore about 4 times before he said he stopped for good and I mostly believe him? it's just been so many times I dont know how to anymore. the last time was mid March. he used Twitter, instagram, tiktok and I found out today, reddit. it made me very insecure and my ex would do it too and did the same thing where I told him it made me sad and he said he would stop but didnt multiple times. I also found out he talked bad about me to a girl he used to talk to when we first started dating, he has lied to me about like everything, he unblocked and texted this girl that I was uncomfortable with because he was mad at me. theres a couple more things but yea. so today I saw the subreddits of alt girls he was getting off to. sometimes it was just a girls face bro. and I'm also like "alt" and have always been so I'm scared he just likes me for a fetish thing. I also saw pron reddits of this video game he likes. he also got off to pron of an anime that he showed me and we watched together. it just seems like he gets himself off to anything and everything but me. on every app. and of every show and game he plays, he finds pron of. I just dont know if I can stay with him. it's never gonna end and I cant handle it. I dont feel like he finds me attractive and I feel like he might have a pron issue. and I cant trust him anymore or anything he says because of the past. well not really the past this has been ongoing since I can remember. anyway, what should I do. I really love him but I dont know if I can handle this anymore
submitted by
xxvamprxx to
relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:44 PsychologicalPea5789 Can you play/use zip files on chromebook
I have been wanting to play games like 3D celeste by CodyCantEatThis but they use zip files. Is there a way to play the game on chromebook without a virtual machine?
submitted by
PsychologicalPea5789 to
ChromebookGaming [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:43 FlySplash Why can’t I submit this pick? Haven’t used the promo yet and I can’t use it??
2023.06.07 00:43 Helios-lune77 I Find It Interesting that Every Character Uses the Same Chant to Summon Diomedes. Correct Me if I’m Wrong, but I Think that Diomedes is the Only Infernal (Not in 3) to have this Distinction, I Wonder Why
submitted by Helios-lune77 to Bayonetta [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:43 Rough-Cantaloupe2547 Messenger update
I cant seem to get the messenger update. Arounf 1.5 years ago I used to have it for like 2 weeks and then it suddenly disappeared? Friends that are also from germany and even friends from serbia do have the update and can react to messages using different emojis than just a heart. I seems to work for everyone but for me. I tried everything I found on the internet including simply reinstalling the app or restarting my phone and even the instagram call trick and the vanish mode trick. I also can not download the update from the settings menu. Any idea how to get it?
submitted by
Rough-Cantaloupe2547 to
Instagram [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:42 danick_bmf Why do my eyes hurt using iPhone 11?
I’m stuck with my iPhone 8. It’s the only iPhone I can use right now. (And probably iPhone SE 2 and SE 3).
I’ve tried using iPhone 11 and iPhone 13 Pro, but I get eye strain using them.
I guess in the case of the iPhone 13 Pro I can blame PWM. But the really weird thing is that my eyes hurt when I use iPhone 11, which has no PWM.
I’ve tried using them with Night Shift and True Tone on and off, I’ve also tried turning off Face ID and even taped it. Still didn’t help. This is so weird. Does anyone have the same problem?
submitted by
danick_bmf to
Smartphones [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:42 Past_Ad9817 Not feeling desirable enough to date - how would you conquer the fear?
So to keep a very long story short, I [28F] have an issue with my own desirability and it's making my slow crawl back to dating really painful.
The way I experience true attraction is very much about a "vibe" and is highly subjective. I've been into men of various ethnicities, ages, sizes, shapes etc. because they were super charismatic, talented, passionate etc. and so, in my own experience at least, once you touch some grass it's not strictly about being a number on some sad physical attractiveness scale. Looks might get you in the door, sure, I won't deny that, especially on a dating app. But in person I've found it to be a different story for the most part.
But of course, applying things that seem entirely reasonable to yourself is harder. I won't get into the whole spiel about my past. In the present, I can't rely on my own opinion of my appearance because I have body dysmorphia, so I can look like different people to myself even on the same day. I'm not saying I think I'm some hideous beast, I just don't see myself and think, "ah, sexy, beautiful, she shall be bedded". Well, nobody should say that about anyone but I digress. You get the gist.
On dating apps I'm very strict about using only recent pictures (a year or less), no filters, not only selfies, showing myself from multiple angles and asking friends if the pictures are accurate to what I look like IRL. My best friend told me I could replace a couple because she knows I have "sexier" pictures, but I honestly feel like a huge fraud for even a hint of a flirty vibe in a picture. In the wild, when I see attractive people I immediately assume I'll either be invisible to them or repulsive. If I see an attractive woman in my vicinity I immediately decide that "well, I don't look like that so I'm not attractive then."
Objectively, I actually get way more compliments now than I used to, including on my appearance. Genuinely nice, thoughtful compliments. I think it's because beyond these issues I'm generally more social and stable than I've ever been, and my sense of style has really come into its own. So my "vibe" is more inviting. But it's like there's this deep incongruence there. I nod and smile and thank them but... I don't actually believe it. I just excuse it away as "oh they're just my friends and we love each other, so they project beauty on to me like I do on them" - at best. At worst I cringe internally.
I don't have this problem once I've confirmed in-person attraction. No issues around sex once I know we're both on the same page.
So... any ideas? Anyone who can relate who got over it?
TLDR: Don't feel attractive and it's making dating difficult
submitted by
Past_Ad9817 to
dating_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:42 r395248 [PC?][2015 maybe -2021/22] platform game with black canine anthropomorphic character where you try not to get killed by stuff
Platform: PC?
Genre: it was 2d, a platformer like a side scrolling game. it felt mainly like some kind of puzzle with like horror mixed into it sorta. mainly because it had an almost eerie vibe to it.
Estimated year of release: 2015 ( maybe, i wouldnt be surprised if it came out earlier or later) -2021/22
Graphics/art style: black and white, sorta pixely. it had an almost melancholy feel to it, like sad but in a “ i dont feel anything “ way, for some reason. felt more like an indie game
Notable characters: a fully black ( i remember it as black but if it was white i wouldn’t be surprised either. ) dog or canine character on two legs there was also a part of the screen, either when ur actually playing the game or where you go to check your inventory it would display some kind of mood the character you were playing as felt. i have no idea if this actually effected the gameplay or not. i think there were also other characters or enemies that you had to dodge. i dont think you could kill them but im sorta iffy on this.
gameplay/ detail: the actual game play was almost like a rage game that was built to trick and kill you. there were hard obstacles that you had to pass like spikes and stuff and things that would randomly appear to try to kill you. i think there might of been check points but if there wasn’t then it would just take you back to where you first spawned in. behind the platform where you spawned in( which i remember looking like
https://imgur.com/a/Nr2X1Kr )
as u can see in the imagine behind where you spawned, there were these spikes. and if you jumped in the spikes it would look something like
https://imgur.com/a/KDbB75t .
Notable gameplay mechanics: it was side scrolling and of course 2d. you could go back and forth and jump/ roll under things i think.
Other details: back in 2021-2022 i was often on youtube due to the height of covid. well , there was this one video i remember where this guy was playing the game im describing. thats why im not sure when the game came out because i dont remember when the video came out either. the video was more like a video essay and less like actual gameplay of the game, like they were more so going into what the game may mean, if it meant anything at all. also i question what platform the game actually used because again, i saw the game from a video on youtube.
submitted by
r395248 to
tipofmyjoystick [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:42 Sea-Lab8910 Question on Improving training session homogeneity and training method efficiency
I've been at this karate school for a while now and the training schedule is fairly set in stone. The head teacher has asked us for our opinion on how we can train more effectively and better. So I thought I would gather the opinions of others as well.
There are two lessons a week, each are 2 hours long. Wednesday and Sunday.
Wednesday:
• warmup, mainly breakfalls (5 mins)
• static reps of basic striking techniques (eg front kicks, low kicks, palm strikes)
• partnered practice of a couple of sweeps and their defenses, fairly low resistance
• some padwork, with an emphasis on footwork, using momentum and staying off their attack line while keeping them on yours
•a new technique or trick, or discuss a tactic and show ways to implement it (usually useful for our type of sparring, see details further down below)
• practicing this with partner: typically a pad drill or some form of restricted sparring. Common to start partner drills very low resistance ramp up as appropriate to try to keep failure low
• a couple of rounds of sparring: knockdown rules, but with unrestricted clinching and with throws and takedowns allowed.
Sunday
• warmup -mainly breakfalls
• kote-kitae (forearm pounding)
•first some empty handed hubud then a couple of hand fighting drills.
• talk about what we will be doing and watch solo performance of relevant Kata
• isolate a portion of Kata, examine the technique, explain why it works, give examples of how to do roughly the same thing in different ways
• partnered practice. This can vary heavily depending on what the techniques are. Some typical examples might be to highly isolate a particular situation, both sides know roughly whats coming and then increase speed/force. It's preferred not to increase freedom of action so more nasty things can be used and practice can be more intense. I'm not sure whether this is a valid argument. Some of the drills are quite flowery and flowy.
• kettle bell workout, using appropriate but heavy as possible weight.
Group performance of relevant Kata as cool down/moving meditation.
My main thoughts are
1) the two sessions seem a little disparate, can they not be more unified.
2) what are the best ways to drill Kata application with a partner, especially if they are quite nasty techniques?
3) are there better more efficient or effective ways of training, than what we do?
submitted by
Sea-Lab8910 to
martialarts [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:42 wilderness_peace123 Toxic workplace situation and bitter/rude supervisor
I'm currently facing a toxic situation in my workplace and could use some guidance. I'm pursuing a 4-year computational PhD course in the UK and initially worked on campus for the first 2 years, although my workspace wasn't in an actual lab. I had a small desk at the end of an empty bio lab, devoid of any interaction with others. My supervisor has been really unhelpful and unsupportive throughout this period. Due to personal reasons and bad mental health, I decided to work remotely from home. While my supervisors didn't object, I can't shake off the guilt of working from home, despite maintaining the same level of productivity as when I was on campus. Every meeting is conducted virtually, and I only visit campus for events. Interestingly, most of my cohort also works from home.
One of my family members has been ill, and my supervisor is unaware of the full extent of the situation, which is why I relocated home for my third year and will also be home in the fourth. All of my work I can carry out remotely, but despite having to deal with afamily situation in which my supervisor knew a little about, not the total ins and out but despite this, my supervisor didn't say I should take any time off or support during this difficult time. I am not asking for a therapist but he could have at least suggested for me to take time off. I managed to keep working diligently throughout the period although I felt overwhelmed and guilty if I took time off although I really needed it . Additionally, due to the COVID-19 pandemic during the first 2 years of my PhD, I haven't utilised the research budget allocated for my PhD, resulting in surplus funds for attending conferences. I have attended modest local conferences within the country, but whenever I go with my supervisors, they make sarcastic remarks about my accommodation or available funds. I want to clarify that I stay at reasonably nice hotels (3-4 stars) because it fits within my budget, and my supervisors themselves opt for better accommodations. It feels as though they expect me to settle for less like a 1 star hotel with no toilet in a rough place , perhaps based on their own experiences during their PhD. Like they make bitter remarks about my available funds, hotel choices and conference visits etc..
Currently, I've attended two consecutive conferences in the same city, spanning just over a week. Strangely, my supervisor seemed uncomfortable with this arrangement, implying that I'll be staying in the city for a whole month. I didn't to see the issue since I worked alongside attending the conferences, kept up with emails etc... During the first conference, my supervisor approached me while I was chatting with a fellow PhD student and referred to my results as "rubbish." Initially, I didn't catch what he said and brushed it off, but later the student informed me of his comment. This student who I have never met before and was chatting for the first time. I tried to rationalise it as a joke, but even if that were the case, it was inappropriate, considering our professional relationship.
I appreciate any advice or suggestions on how to handle this toxic work environment and navigate these challenging interactions. Since it's my third year, I plan to just to the bare minimum of what's expected of me and gtfo. I don't want to push and do more than I have to - as I don't even care for thriving for perfection because I just want my PhD and leave academia for good. I have not had a great experience with it.
submitted by
wilderness_peace123 to
PhD [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:42 xctsen How do I stay strong?
Its summer vacation, everyones out and having fun., enjoying their vacation.. and me? Well, I tried to have that start of my vacation last saturday with my bf and what was I greeted at the end of it? My narc parents telling me how I’m out so late (it was 10 when I got home and I wanted to go home before that but I started getting a migraine that hurt so bad), yelling me and saying how it’s dangerous outside and what I could be possibly doing for those hours outside. What do you mean? Im trying to enjoy my time outside because I cant stand being home with you people: one who bitches about our president all day as if she could do any better and knows nothing of politics, the other who seems tame at first but once he gets angry, all hell breaks loose. My mother also bitches about how people constantly do stuff wrong and I’m just one of those unfortunate people to have to hear the rambles daily. Despite her rambles, shes not perfect either; in fact shes a hoarder. A terrible hoarder, our tiny apartment is filled with her mess and Ive lived here all my life. Barely any space to walk; only to the bathroom, kitchen, bed, repeat. I organize her mess from time to time, I would love to organize the whole place and get rid of her shit that she doesnt need to finally have some space in here but god forbid I throw away some of her stuff. Containers or bottles, items such as soaps and other pointless stuff shes had for years she tells me she needs because she will need it or use some day. Mind you these things have been sitting there for as long as I remember, they will not be used. So at this point, I dont clean as much as I used to because theres no point, considering she just keeps buying more stuff every time she goes to the market or Costco. Shes just building more and more upon her hoard pile, and I dont know what to do. Nothing I say or do will make her stop, she herself doesnt acknowledge her mess. And sometimes? she bitches about me not cleaning the place, what the fuck do you mean? You did this and Im so tired. Even my narc dad acknowledges the mess shes making and she doesnt care. Speaking of these two, they fight a lot, thats another reason I dont like staying at home. Yelling and making fits in this tiny apartment for the neighbors to hear, I feel bad for my neighbors. Their fighting is never ending, and same for their constant nagging of me. They call me stupid, say I dont use my brain, when they themselves constantly ask for my help .. especially my mom. Say nothing will become of me just because I’m transferring out of a university to a community college. Reason why is because at uni, I was so lost. The stress and anxiety was getting to me, on top that I was and still am depressed, it was just not for me right now. I was 3 years in there, but still had no major I liked and just had some random major slapped on my transcript to seem like I had some idea. The reason Im transferring is because somehow, someway I still feel some sympathy for my mom. Every waking day of my life she (and my dad too but not as much as her) has pressured me to become a nurse. Despite how much I dislike the career, I’m eventually going to take it in CC. I thought to myself Ill try it at least, and if I really dont like it I can always change my major. Yet, even if my mom knows this information that Im transferring and taking what she wants, she still calls me stupid and that nothing will become of me. What? What do you mean? I’m taking what you want. Arent you happy? Why am I still treated with this unfairness. When will you be happy for me, when will you support me? Im not doing this for me, Im doing this for you, because despite how much of a terrible mom you are to me and how much hate I have for you and dad, a little bit of me still cares for you. I try to buy you and dad whatever you want with my minimum wage paycheck. I try to have fun with you guys despite you guys being the most boring people alive and never want to go anywhere. I try my very best, but Im still treated like im stupid. I try my best to like you guys, but my hate is just as greater. At my age of 21, I still have to ask them if I can go out with my friends and bf. Even then, they still dont let me hang out with them often. They have met my friends and boyfriend. The kindest, funniest, and silliest people that Ive ever met that make me the happiest. Still, my parents find a way to belittle them and say what if my friends are influencing me to take drugs or drink. My friends have never pressured me to do either, they dont even do drugs. My boyfriend who is the sweetest, makes sure I’m always taken care of when Im with him, my best friend for years. My parents say he might hurt me, treat me wrong, leave me, just want me for sex, or get me pregnant. Ive known this man for years and we have been very good friends ever since, I know he would never do these things to me. When I told him that my parents have said these horrible things, it made him upset and my heart broke. My parents are so miserable that they want to bring me and whoever makes me happy down with them. Moving out is not an option as I have no money to saved up, nobody can take me in, and if I do plan on leaving my parents will kill me. I am still depressed and I still dont know how to stay strong at times like this. This summer vacation will be a very long one.
submitted by
xctsen to
raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:41 lookoutmountainave Odd and confusing situation
Hey,
I (mid-20s) met a partnered man (late 50s) 4 months ago when I was in his area (I'm only there a few months at a time). We didn't meet through apps, it was work-related. We started seeing one another several times per week, he disclosed only a couple weeks in he's been partenered for almost 10 years (they don't live together, but she lives very close). He stressed that he really, really wants to keep seeing me and have it be a "long term thing", whatever that means. I'm obviously really new to affair lingo, etiquette and whatnot, I was just happy to have what we have - despite it being jarring and difficult at first. I felt like a monster, a homewrecker, a really terrible person. Our bond got pretty deep pretty quick. It's like he can escape, be himself, act like who he really is when it's just us. I'm back in my country now and we still text regularly, facetime once a week, and he confessed a couple weeks back that I'm probably the one who "knows him best right now".
I'm just confused at how terrible his opsec is. He's somebody with a very public career, a lot of activities in his community that make him a sort of "local great guy" - he'd probably risk a lot getting caught but the thing is he really doesn't seem to care that much. I saw his girlfriend at one of his events and when he came up to me (we had agreed I'd come over right after) she could've absolutely seen how he looked at me or overheard our conversation! He doesn't hide our texts (and checks his phone in bed or when I'm right by, I've seen him casually text the gf so I assume he does the same), doesn't set his nudes to disappear automatically, it would take her one glance at his phone (even a text notification from me popping up) for her to be suspicious and yet, nothing. I feel awful because he's her only partner after the death of her husband, and online she talks about how great he is all the time. I feel for her and I feel she probably deserves someone who is fully honest with her, given her past. We never bring her up, I've said her name once and he looked uncomfortable. He's only mentioned menopause and alluded to a pretty dead beadroom.
My hypothesis is that he needs escapism from his stressful work situation and unhappy partnership. I don't find he looks as happy in pics with her as I've seen him in person. I don't know what it's like to be his age, I can only assume that breaking off another LTR after one failed marriage and another LTR (w. the mother of his adult child) at this point would be a lot to bear, would have repercussions on his life and image beyond the relationship, etc.
Then I wonder why he puts so much effort into seeing me, keeping in touch, the like; why before I left he specifically made time out of his busy schedule to take me out to dinner and spend time together. And even now, every time we call, he mentions the next time I'll be staying in the area, hoping it'll be possible to see each other as much as/more than last time. He also very often says "we're friends" and "we're lovers". What does that mean? I know he often evokes that what we have is special and can't be compared to one night stands, but "lovers" is vague to me (maybe because I'm ESL) and I'm not sure if it's a way to lowkey express a certain degree of affection to me.
Also, when we were talking about my considering motherhood at some point, he half-jokingly said when I'm oldefinancially settled he wouldn't mind having a kid with me, which was kind of a weird thing to say, but he said it and I... have no idea how to feel about it?
Anyway, I find his opsec concerning and believe it may be more of a matter of when and not if she finds out, I'm scared of what will happen when she does, and I wonder why he is seemingly so into this and into me. How can a "long term thing" as he says work like this, is it possible that a man can develop feelings for someone in our situation, especially when he's been with someone else for so long? Forgive how wet behind the ears I am with all this.
Thanks for reading me anyway, I suppose I mainly just needed to vent with how confused I am.
submitted by
lookoutmountainave to
theotherwoman [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:41 5rubies Hi f14 looking for a chat!!
Currently its midnight, i suddenly woke up cuz i had the urge to use the bathroom and now i cant get back to sleep💔 hope someone around here wants to cure the bordem together?
submitted by
5rubies to
chat [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:40 Felix_Behindya I am afraid of maxing all of my Commons and Rares because of the Daily Task "Request Cards". Will this be solved because Lvl 14 won't be the max level anymore?
| So, to able to use Magic Items for Elite Level, you need to have every card of a certain rarity on lvl 14, right? Having all of the cards for it isn't enough, they need to be fully maxed. Why is that an issue now? Because of the "Request Cards" Daily Task. https://preview.redd.it/uccvox5d6h4b1.png?width=853&format=png&auto=webp&s=15beb48eb679b47292859e23de4a5e13e5126df7 I've had all of my Commons and Rares overflowing for a while now but when I donated some or did the trade-away trick, it was still possible for me to fulfill this Daily Task and therefore also collect the Weekly Bonus - which I would like to continue, for the Epics and Banner Tokens. This stands in direct opposition to the Elite Level system if you want to use Magic Items for them, based on what we currently know. You have to decide if you want to either progress faster with Elite Levels - or still be able to collect the Daily and Weekly Bonus. Not to mention that this problem already existed for everyone who had their Commons and Rares maxed before they reintroduced the Daily Tasks. The question now is: with Elite level coming, will the "request" button remain disabled for all your lvl 14 cards because Elite levels work differently or will you be able to request them? I can trust you to not mess this up Supercell, right? Right? 👉👈🥺 u/supercell_drew submitted by Felix_Behindya to ClashRoyale [link] [comments] |
2023.06.07 00:40 poppopglock Frustrations with work
So I’m an 20 year old electrician apprentice and I’m a guy. To say that my coworker Matt has been going through it would be the understatement of the decade. His crazy wife that has tried to kill him in the past kicked him out of the house without any of his shit and is feeding his daughter lies to try to get her to hate him. That’s just the short version but he’s missed a couple of days of work due to his situation.
Now I don’t remember how the conversation started but I was talking with my foreman and another coworker just doing what us union members are good at - killing time, when I mentioned something along the lines of “Man Matt has been going through it lately.” To which my foreman’s response was “yeah but we all are going through stuff, back when I was going through shit I still came to work.” When I heard her say that it kind of set me back a bit. How cold was that response? This man has essentially lost everything in the last couple of days and there wasn’t an ounce of sympathy in her. Her reasoning is “yeah I’ve had problems so everyone else isn’t allowed to.” The fact that he has even come in at all sense honestly deserves praise in itself and if I were going through what that man is I’d probably be one inconvenience away from killing myself. For the rest of the work day I didn’t give a single fuck about my job and although I did shit right, I moved slow as fuck. Because if she didn’t care about him, she clearly didn’t care about me, and if she doesn’t care about me how the fuck does she expect me or anyone else for that matter to give a fuck about their job?
And here in lies the problem and the whole reason why I’m here in the first place. I’m young and I understand there is still much for me to learn but I cannot for the life of me wrap my head around how people manage to have careers. We spend at least 40 hours a week to work, usually to do stuff we wouldn’t exactly do by choice, and to gain an ounce of what we believe we are worth. We do all these things and sacrifice all this time for people who do not give a shit about us or what we are going through. And still they expect us to operate at 100% everyday, for 8 hours straight, show up on time, (some even tell you to show up early) never stop and talk to coworkers, or indulge in any other distractions that might take away from being as efficient as physically possible. Add onto that the politics of the work place where you have to talk different to your boss than your other coworkers simply because of their title and you just have a recipe for a headache that is becoming harder and harder to deal with. It’s like these people (or even society as a whole) expect robots and not human beings. I’ve always struggled with depression and the only thing that consistently seems to take me out of it are other people. I’m an extroverted guy and I love talking to people and just listening to whatever they have to say. I have always had a hunger to learn and I have gained some wisdom and learned a lot of useful things from others. I guess the thing I’m trying to say is that out of all the things I do, I feel the most fulfilled when talking and doing things with other people. I think it’s biological to be honest because like it or not we are social creatures. And I just wish that I could spend more time doing that and not have to put up with all the other bullshit around it.
The thing that drives me crazy is how much we as a society have veered away from “being human.” Like I mentioned earlier, why do I have to talk to my boss differently than I talk to other coworkers? Why do I have to watch what I say around certain people and bite my tongue? Why do we have to wear all these masks to fit into these completely fabricated situations that destroy our authentic selves in the process? WHY CANT WE JUST BE HONEST AMD TRUE TO OURSELF? I’m frustrated with my foreman but also the world as a whole. I understand her job is to make sure that we work and I also understand that she gets paid a lot more than me to do that. But I also understand that I am a pretty disciplined guy and most times I am completely capable of meeting expectations even without supervision. So why can’t I get a break from the monotony and talk to my coworkers for a minute? Why must I be expected to work so hard for someone (or a company) that so clearly does not hold my best interests at heart? Where has our sense of community gone? These societies we live in are absolutely astonishing. We have skyscrapers that reach into the sky, we have made technological advancements that make what used to be hard tasks child’s play, and yet people are killing themselves at higher rates than ever before. All for a green piece of paper.
People say my generation is lazy and doesn’t want to work and I’ve done my damnedest to fight that stereotype and work my ass off but at what point do we stop pretending this life that we live and the shit we put up with is worth it? Is it because I haven’t made enough money yet? Is it because I’m not old enough? What does that even mean? Because if it means that I just accept it for what it is then that’s not an answer that makes me want to live for the future.
Thanks for taking the time and reading my thoughts and listening to me ramble. I don’t really have a family or friends that would. It really means a lot more to me than most of you could truly grasp. Please feel free to share your perspectives. Is there something I’m missing here? Or did I hit the nail on the head with this one?
submitted by
poppopglock to
Vent [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:40 KiwiKruncher How to get started on Scribe101?
Hi all,
I'm looking to get certified for being a scribe and as I'm browsing through this subreddit, I'm seeing that a bunch of people have used Scribe101. However, the one thing I can't seem to find out is how to even enroll in the course or go through it and get certified. Would anyone be able to guide me on how to get started? Thank you.
submitted by
KiwiKruncher to
medicalscribe [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:40 ConquNoble Diablo 4 noobish question
just bought Diablo 4 but I am out of town for a week , cant wait to play it. so I started to watch build videos for rogues. I bet it wont work but does it ? Does concealment works with twisting blade’s turn back ?
Example : cast shadow imbuement > cast twisting blades x3 or more? > use shadowstep > cast concealment Then wait for blades to turn back.
submitted by
ConquNoble to
diablo4 [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:39 Yamembarassed I just don't understand why ppl don' like me
I'm so sad. Why don't ppl talk to me/like me?
Im trying to make the conversation as pleasant as possible but they just don't reply with the same energy.
Like, it's either i go on a full rant ab a subject and ask them ab their opinion and they just say something dry like "yeah" or "ok". And then I'm blamed because i "talk too much about myself"
Or it's they talk between them and i don't get to talk because if i talk, im interrupting someone. How do i know the right time to speak? Why is it so easy for them and hard for me?
The moment they see someone they know, they use it as an excuse to leave me alone.
I dont understand what im doing wrong, I'm doing my best and it's still not enough.
It's always been like that, since i was in primary school, I always got along better with youngeolder people and i appreciate it because it means that people can like me but i want to be friends with people my age. And it feels weird "asking" ppl to be my friend.
Even when comforting someone, i'm doing it wrong. Ppl always tell me i "only speak about myself" when in reality, im speaking of my experience to show them that they're not alone and that i have advice. I can only give advice when comforting because idk what else to do.
Im glad i have my family to support me.
submitted by
Yamembarassed to
venting [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 00:39 DeriusA How difficult will CoS be for my players?
Hello :)
A couple days ago we had our first CoS session and made it to the ghoul fight, which I relocated to the Death Houses' basement dining are. Everybody was motivated to keep playing but unfortunately we ran out of time that evening. But the next session is already planned, so that's okay. What I'm trying to say is: We all had a blast, which is why I am sure we will continue playing CoS. And that leads me to this thread. I want to know if the modules difficulty is appropriate for my players. Both, in being manageable for my players and in keeping the challenge and cruelty or deadliness, that seems to be part of the module, as far as I can overlook it yet. At that point I would be grateful for your help, thoughts and insight.
Those are our basic parameters:
- Three players/characters, all dwarves: 1) Cleric with the Forge Domain, aiming to also fight in the front, wearing heavy armor; 2) Paladin, who wants to take the Oath of Devotion; 3) Rogue, who is planning on going the way of the Assassin, mainly using crossbows
- I am DMing since about 10 years; my players started playing maybe like 4 years ago, almost always with me; a certain experience is there, especially our social / general playing dynamic works well
- None of us played D&D 5e before, the last years we usually played Pathfinder 1e
- My players generally focus more on optimizing their characters concerning roleplaying aspects than on fighting capability, but they also enjoy fights and being useful in those; as reference: Playing Pathfinder they would read whatever material was available and try to chose fitting and useful abilities, but they wouldn't read guides, try out several builds at home or argue about using that slightly broken 3rd-party ability
- I don't like the idea of having 6 to 8 (or sth like that) encounters per day, at least not mandatory every adventuring day. When I'm using pre-made content I'm usually getting rid of about half of the suggested fighting encounters. I am aware of the thoughts and mechanics behind that approach (XP per adventuring day, draining resources) , but I enjoy less but more meaningful fights more (and I'm sure my party thinks alike). That is why I really liked Mandy Mod's approach to the Death House, which I also used while prepping (that way the ghoul fight is our second fight overall)
- In conclusion I want to try avoiding unnecessary fights, which hopefully lets me keep the important enemies as they are written, although my party only consists of 3 characters; All fights but boss fights I plan to simply shrink by a quarter (for example: RAW the characters need to fight 4 ghouls in the basement, I removed one to let my party only face 3 of them)
Naturally there will be try and error and I will learn each session. But in general: Do you think that will work out? Is there anything I need to have in mind? Every comment is welcome. :)
Greetings
submitted by
DeriusA to
CurseofStrahd [link] [comments]