Murphy deming college of health sciences

Albany College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences

2014.05.30 01:27 LessThanBaker Albany College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences

The place to gather for anything involving alumni, current, or prospective students at Albany College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences

2010.08.23 02:22 richardcorbin University College London

University College London (UCL). Founded in 1826, UCL was the first university established in London, as well as the first in England to be entirely secular, to admit students regardless of religion, and to admit women on equal terms. Today, it is ranked as a top 20 university in the world with over 40,000 students and a range of Nobel-winning academics & alumni.

2013.02.17 20:13 bradradio University of South Dakota

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2023.06.04 21:58 Schlachterhund Climate activism of the elect

[This is a translated excerpt from Clemens Traub’s “Future for Fridays?”. It’s a reflection about his time as an activist in “Fridays for Future” – the German branch of “School Strike for Climate”. The specific problem of western environmentalism discussed therein is germane to the issue of dysfunctional leftism often discussed on stupidpol and as far as I can tell nothing of this unique to Germany. The book is from 2020 and by now the movement “Fridays for Future” basically defunct. Meanwhile, the preferred tactic of current activists is it to glue themselves on main roads during rush hour. This protest method obviously affects working class people most, who have to physically show up at work (and often have to use cars to do so), and is less disruptive for the WFH email caste. The result of this is, surprisingly, a staggering 80+% disapproval rating for the climate organization “Last Generation” which is doing this.]
I know the typical milieu of most “Fridays for Future” protesters well. In a way, it's my own and that of my current circle of friends: metropolitan, left-liberal, hip. A space for the daughters of doctors to meet the sons of lawyers. Gin tasting and discussions about plastic-free shopping and zero waste are equally high on the agenda. Veganism is as much part of the unspoken code of being trendy as frequenting second-hand shops. And the organic grocery store around the corner naturally enhances the location of your own home.
The offspring of the professional class keep to themselves. Does the climate movement represent a cross-section of society? Not even close! Fridays for Future is the rebellion of the privileged, and the movement offers them the perfect opportunity to flaunt their own cosmopolitan lifestyle and talent.
Many of my climate-concerned friends are questioning whether the social background of the demonstrators matters at all. Isn't that absolutely unimportant? The main thing, they are convinced, is that the earth is saved. It doesn't matter by whom. The population has been silent for long enough, and now it is finally time to stand up.
I admit that the consistency of this chain of thought was extremely appealing to me and that using social origin as an argument against a group is of course nonsensical. The outlined combative spirit also enthralled me at first. At the beginning of my participation in "Fridays for Future", saving the world was the only thing that counted for me. It didn’t matter who stood by my side. And it still wouldn’t matter for me today.
But what matters to me is the behavior and reasoning of the people protesting with me. And here the circle closes, because the social background reveals more about the movement than the demonstrators would like to admit.
In fact, I take the view that the exclusive social background of the young protesters is the actual birth defect of "Fridays for Future". But because the movement was far too homogeneous, far too elitist and correspondingly far too aloof right from the start, its members remained oblivious to it. Ultimately, only those who are doing well in material terms have the time and leisure to consider climate protection as the most important and also the only political issue of our time and to subordinate everything else to it.
Located in its ivory tower, the movement doesn't even notice that its criticism is leveled at the lifestyle of many economically disadvantaged people, who for financial reasons do not always have a choice. They are denounced as climate sinners because they don't shop in health food stores but at discounters. It never occurs to the demonstrators that there are people whose worries about ever-increasing electricity bills and rental charges make a discussion about forgoing air travel irrelevant from the outset.
And how could they? In their sheltered world, all of that is very far away. But that is exactly what makes the movement a risk, because it jeopardizes the already fragile cohesion of our society. For a large part of the population, however, other, more pressing everyday concerns prevail. For those who are afraid of being affected by job cuts in view of the announcements by the industry, the slashing and burning of tropical rain forest is currently of secondary importance.
Likewise, the extinction of exotic animal species is very far away for someone who worries every day about their tenuous retirement arrangements. That doesn't mean that everyday worries should completely obscure the problems of climate change, but it does explain why climate change is not the first priority for people with existential concerns.
It also explains why measures to save the climate must take economic concerns into account. And it explains why more and more people are wondering whether protesters will finally also take to the streets to deal with their everyday distress: lack affordable housing, declining pensions... plenty of issues exist.
The entire political discourse, both between the parties and outside of parliament, on the street, completely ignores the reality of life for many people in Germany! And I can well imagine that that's not a good feeling for many. The public discussions, which are often far removed from everyday life, exclude less privileged people. The result: we are all sitting on a social powder keg.
I don't originally hail from this metropolitan milieu, but grew up in a region that is often dismissed as "rural backwater". Publications such as "Landlust" and "Landleben" [trendy magazines promoting life in the country side] fulfill the longing of city dwellers for pure nature, but this dream only seems to apply to those people who consciously decide to have a weekend house in the forest. However, anyone who grew up in a rural environment will hardly benefit from this.
My parents live in the Palatinate. I grew up there too. My heart clings to the region, it is scenically beautiful with rows of wine-growing villages. But for an urbanite in pursuit of self-actualization it has to be the worst nightmare. In case your are unfamiliar with Palatinate’s culture: Schlachtfest instead of whiskey tasting. Very few apartments are actually furnished in this “country style” featured in the magazines. My home village isn’t shooting location for documentaries about gentrification. Maybe a camera team will get lost in one of our many hamlets at a Saumagen-centered village festival. But that would be pretty rare.
Drowsy villages provide the perfect backdrop while growing up. An ideal, idyllic world. But the older I got, the more I was drawn to the big city. I longed for a place that was more vibrant than the Palatinate and which could offer me more adventures and opportunities on the way to adulthood. Precisely this big, wide world I longed for. And I today I indeed enjoy its advantages. Whenever I drive home today, I have a feeling that two worlds that don't really have much to do with each other are colliding.
Shortly after attending my first Fridays for Future rallies, I paid another visit to my old homeland – these are becoming less and less frequent. When I enthusiastically told my acquaintances there about my experiences at the recent "Fridays for Future" demonstrations, I quickly realized how little they were interested. Out of pure friendship and politeness, they listened to me with half an ear.
I was quite surprised by that. What was the most hotly debated topic of recent weeks in my university town was met with absolute indifference among my old school friends here. They were more interested in the last day of the Bundesliga match or their last Tinder date than in the great climate revolution.
To be honest, I was initially disappointed and then increasingly angry at this lack of interest. While we young people in the big cities are trying to save our planet, the people in my home village are letting us down, I thought. Don't they understand that they too only have one planet at their disposal, just like us from "Fridays for Future"? Luckily, out of politeness, I kept those thoughts to myself.
In the days that followed, I started hearing disparaging comments about Fridays for Future with increasing frequency. In the eyes of my old friends, the movement was an "eco-sect", the self-promotion of big-city, left-wing weirdos. Someone called Greta Thunberg a "deranged menace". In addition to insults, they appeared to become increasingly bothered by the patronizing demeanor of many Fridays for Future protesters, who seem to perceive ICE-car drivers and meat eaters as second-class citizens.
The more often this happened, the deeper the wedge was driven between my current city life and my origins in my home village in the Palatinate. Between my old and my new world. For the first time in my life, I was just happy when I was able to drive back to the big city: finally the ideal world again, even if it was on the verge of collapse.
Ever since that visit, I've been quite hypersensitive whenever my enthusiasm for "Fridays for Future" wasn't shared 100 percent. In my eyes, there were simply only climate heroes on the one hand and climate sinners on the other. The absolute good or absolute bad – and nothing in between! It was only later that I realized how much I was already influenced by the “Fridays for Future” movement.
At first I could only offer my my old acquaintances reproaches. I accused them of being apolitical and uninformed about the world anyway. A mechanism of exclusion that is very common in "Fridays for Future", as I later realized. After all, at university I even mocked my old acquaintances as provincials, something I had always hated myself when my new metropolitan friends teased me about it.
But it was so much easier to just dismiss them as uninformed "provincials" than to argue with them and take them seriously. I didn't ask why my friends from my old home country saw "Fridays for Future" as arrogant or aloof, I didn't care at the time. Possible self-doubts could not arise in the first place.
I didn't anticipate, that this would actually fiercely play up in me over the coming weeks! I thought more and more about the experiences in my home country. It just wouldn't let me go. Where does the rejection of “Fridays for Future” come from, I asked myself. Where does the indifference in the face of urgent global climate problems come from? How could it be that my friends didn't see those and that they didn't comprehend the seriousness of the situation? I looked for answers but couldn't find any.
For several weeks, every Friday, there was no longer any plastic dishware in the university cafeteria. This gesture, following the "Fridays for Future" demonstrations, was intended to set an example for environmental protection. What should have caused storms of enthusiasm in theory, however, meant a very special kind of chaos in practice: balancing a piece of raspberry cake on your bare hand without a plate is more difficult than it might sound. Once the first piece of cake hit the floor, a discussion about the plastic boycott quickly broke out in the canteen.
It immediately turned out that the cashiers could only laugh at what they considered to be an idiotic ban on plastic. Their statements shocked many of my fellow students, who are big "FfF" fans. Instead of relaxed humorous small talk, my fellow students reacted with deadly seriousness. In the heat of the moment, the cashiers were even treated with extremely condescending insults. I will never forget how my fellow students lost all human decency that day in the supposed fight for climate protection. For the first time I noticed how fanatical and arrogant many of my "FfF" acquaintances had long since become.
After that event, something actually changed in me. But I didn't want to admit it to myself at first. But the more often I demonstrated at "Fridays for Future", the more alien the movement became to me. Today I know: It took an event like the one in the university canteen or a stay in my old home country to open my eyes and to realize how important sincerely attempting to understand other realms of experience before applying crude labels to people. Due to its exclusionary megalomania, “Fridays for Future” is incapable of this realization. But only a person who approaches other people, takes them seriously and wants to understand their everyday lives will be listened to. Only those people can actually affect something. They might even, in the best case scenario, save our planet!
While "Fridays for Future" was unable to make inroads my home village’s community, the media was showed more interest. Interviews with activists became more and more frequent on television. The talk shows couldn't get enough of them. "Markus Lanz", "Anne Will" or "Hart aber Fair": All of them had at least one "FfF" activist to visit. The more I saw them there, the more their arrogant demeanor bothered me. I suddenly switched off people who I still saw as inspiring personalities a few months ago. They kept raising their index fingers admonishingly. Looking down from the ivory tower at anyone who disagreed.
That finger wagging was slowly but surely becoming the hallmark of the movement. Their image of the enemy was crystal clear. Their worldview is dangerously one-dimensional. My big city friends suddenly fought everyone they saw as complicit in the misery of the world: the meat eaters, the plastic bag carriers, the ICE-car drivers, the short-haul fliers, the long-haul fliers, the cruise tourists, the farmers, and of course the evil SUV owners. But honestly, don't we all belong to one of these groups from time to time?
Once they suddenly started cursing anyone who accidentally commits a tiny climate sin, even if it's just incorrect sorting of trash, I felt like they were in the ultimate battle against the rest of humanity. Elitist hubris everywhere I looked. In their moral arrogance they were (and still are) completely unaware of how many "normal" people they alienated by doing so. My assessment that "Fridays for Future" is primarily a movement of socially privileged young people has now been backed up by corresponding figures. The Berlin “Institute for Protest and Movement Research” got to the bottom of the social composition of the climate movement. On March 15, 2019, it surveyed “Fridays for Future” protesters at rallies in Berlin and Bremen. The study was financed by the Bündnis 90/Die Grünen-affiliated "Heinrich Böll Foundation".
The study’s results were illuminating: More than 90 percent of those surveyed stated that they had at least completed their Abitur (or advanced technical college entrance qualification) or were currently striving to do so. An overwhelming majority of 90 percent! Not even 1 percent of the demonstrators attended secondary schools [which prepare pupils for non-academic vocational training]. Almost two-thirds of the students considered themselves to be in the upper-middle class. Even before that, I had no doubt that "Fridays for Future" is a movement of the affluent. But what I read in this study surpassed my guesses. "Fridays for Future" does not even begin to embody the cross-section of society, as has often been claimed.
I was surprised how little the sobering result of the study was then discussed. Society had to be informed about the privileged background and the resulting aloofness of the young protesters. Doesn't this change the entire perspective on the defining social debate of the last few months?
The figureheads of the movement in particular all come from the “most bourgeois” background. For example, we have Luisa Neubauer, the best-known German "Fridays for Future" activist. She grew up in the relatively expensive Elbe suburb of Iserbrook in Hamburg. Everyone in Hamburg knows: Not exactly a residential area that is known for its social housing. She did her Abitur in Hamburg-Blankenese. It is Hamburg's villa district par excellence. Sightseeing buses now offer tours through the district to present the magnificent villas to curious tourists. She is a scholarship holder of the party-affiliated foundation Bündnis 90/Die Grünen and is also a member of the party. So nothing stands in the way of a career in politics, she says so herself. "I don't want to rule out a career in politics," she told Zeit Campus, for example. [Neubauer is, in fact, a scion of the oligarchical Reemtsma clan; so is her cousin, another figurehead of the movement]
It’s less a rebellion from below and more a case of perfect self-marketing. But now cracks do appear in this underdog stage production. Today Luisa Neubauer can only be reached via her management. Demonstrators as pop stars! And of course you can't just talk to them on the street when you're demonstrating together. At least not with “Fridays for Future”. Please, what a naive notion! Although there are also critics of the excessive portrayal of people within the "Fridays for Future" movement, there is no real change in sight.
In the meantime, the climate movement has become one thing in particular: a career springboard for ambitious young elites. "Fridays for Future" is the perfect stage to make a name for yourself. Many of the educated offspring of academics are of course aware of this. The more media attention, the more attractive it is to be in the front row. Supposedly idealistic activism can now be marketed very well.
But not only the figureheads like Luisa Neubauer want to get some of the public spotlight. More and more "Neubauer disciples" are trying their luck in the "Fridays for Future" profiling machine. There we have, to name just a few examples, Linus Steinmetz, Carla Reemtsma or Sebastian Grieme.
Getting an appearance on a talk show or at least being able to read your name in the newspaper - all of this can become an opportunity of a lifetime. Being in the front row not only feels incredibly good, it is also a kind of free ticket for later professional life. And as if that wasn't enough: A flood of new Instagram followers is of course also a fantastic side effect. With this in mind: full speed ahead!
Who could object? Everyone is looking for recognition. Doesn't everyone want to take advantage of the opportunities in their life? And finally, every society needs ambitious young people who will later enrich politics, business and culture.
At best, people who want to be the center of attention also bear responsibility for themselves and others. So far no problem, you might think at first.
But how will many people with limited financial resources feel when those rebels who constantly lash out at the lifestyles of others take advantage of it for themselves? While many citizens have to accept new climate costs in their everyday lives, they also experience how Luisa Neubauer is offered a position on the supervisory board at Siemens. In view of this, the suspicion of many people that climate activists are making careers at the expense of other citizens is all too understandable.
I have other concerns as well. In our time, the frustration with the elites is growing. The "enraged citizen phenomenon" has become one of the most discussed topics of this decade. Intellectuals around the world are concerned about the cause of this worrying development. Our society is currently experiencing a "rift" between two major population groups. In an anthology they edited, the political and social scientists Wolfgang Merkel, Ruud Koopmans and Michael Zürn differentiate between “cosmopolitans” and “communitarians”.
There are those who benefit from the future and are therefore relaxed about it. Above all, they see opportunities in it and view the globalization of our world with optimism. This group is referred to as cosmopolitans. But many people are also afraid of change. They believe that the future will not hold anything good and, potentially, only the ever-possible economic decline. Given the "opening" of the world, communitarians see the dangers in particular. They often have the feeling that they are not really noticed by society's elite.
The well-known distinction between “anywheres” and “somewheres” by the British journalist and author David Goodhart supports this finding. Goodhart distinguishes "anywheres" who are educated, wealthy and will feel at home in their circles around the world, and "somewheres". They belong to completely different social milieus and are relegated to a specific place where they work, live, have their friends and struggle to assert their status.
Most "Fridays for Future" activists know: the future belongs to them. Many have the classic biography of a cosmopolitan. Because of their social background, they were born with everything they needed to benefit from our system. Everything is just right: the appearance, the social environment and of course the education.
Although they face the end of the world as a constant threat, their future does not scare them. Why? The doors are wide open for them. They master the complicated rules of our individualized knowledge society very well. You will do your internship in Brussels and not in Bottrop. Better the EU Commission than retail, a sector without future anyway. And also: cultivate connections! Your English vocabulary is usually larger than German. Perfectly prepared for the future, come what may - because they are the elite of tomorrow. The dangerous thing about it: most of the demonstrators are not even aware of this.
The well-trained "Fridays for Future" activists prefer to see themselves as misunderstood outsiders in society. Being an outsider is what makes rebellion sexy. At the same time I say to myself: What must a socially disadvantaged person think when suddenly wealthy cosmopolitans like to play the role of the outsider! And they don't just like it the role. No, they are really putting effort into staging it.
The classic distribution of roles between "perpetrator" and "victim" in the social context is thus turned upside down in a negligent manner: no longer the single mother and multi-jobber is seen as a victim of the existing social conditions, but the climate-conscious scholarship holder who has to experience how the consumption of affordable meat endangers our environment.
But that's not all: instead of listening to the concerns of hard-working people, they blame them for their environmentally unfriendly diesel car, which they need for their daily commute to work.
Instead of considering questions of justice with "Fridays for Future", the movement reduced itself from the start to questions of lifestyle. In my circle of friends, too, the extinction of species is simply cooler than poverty in old age and the issue of gender is hipper than low basic pension.
Above all, the privileged know the social code of the new “morally good” life. The new green-bourgeois bearing regulates the friend-foe scheme of the climate debate. A mechanism of exclusion that often pushes fellow citizens who are already worse off even further aside. A good person has long been only someone who can show an ecologically sound certificate of good conduct. The existential feeling of many that they just have to somehow make ends meet does not exist in the living environment of the (upper) bourgeois offspring. In the climate debate of the last few months, worlds have collided that couldn't be more different. Worlds that are moving further and further apart.
[The author doesn’t mention it, but the social milieu that makes up the bulk of the climate movement is also very fond of importing anglo-inspired race discourse. Towards the end of its decline, they were increasingly caught in purity spirals. For example: should white musicians with dreadlocks be allowed to play during happenings?
The study from “Institute for Protest and Movement Research” also examined ethnicity of the protesters: they are predominantly of ethnic German stock, much more so than the average German citizen. Who could have known?]
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2023.06.04 21:57 LanceBarney Minnesota’s incredible legislative session is a testament to “blue no matter who” voting.

Governor Tim Walz was my house rep. He was one of the 10-20 most conservative democrats in the house. Refused to sponsor MFA. Among many other terrible stances he had. I campaigned strongly against him in the 2018 primary.
He just had a legislative session that any reasonable progressive would be deeply impressed by.
Free school meals, legal weed, paid family leave, strong union protections, end to non-compete, drivers licenses for noncitizens, more affordable/free college, teachers being able to negotiate class sizes, gun reform, abortion rights, LGBT protections, and being a sanctuary state for both abortion and gender affirming care, etc.
If every progressive in Minnesota followed the strategy pushed by some on the left of “don’t vote for moderates” after Walz beat strong progressive Erin Murphy in the primary, then instead of having arguably the most impressive legislative session of any state in recent memory, we would’ve had a republican governor and literally none of this passes and probably much worse stuff gets passed.
This is a real world example of voting blue no matter who directly benefitting people not just of Minnesota. But the ridiculous legislation targeted at trans youth and women in Iowa, North/South Dakota.. now they have the right to come to this state and receive that care. Which they wouldn’t have had without a historically moderate Tim Walz as Governor.
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2023.06.04 21:56 aafnolaffs Competishun trying too hard

Competishun trying too hard
advanced ke centre ke bahar hee shuru
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2023.06.04 21:56 cricketalmond Can you have PTSD from your “old” mental health problems?

About two/three years ago my mental health was just horrible. It got to the point of self harming, severe depression, severe anxiety, suicidal thought and actions at times. The only things that would “help” was self harming, drinking and drugs. Along with all that I had a really unstable home life to the point where social services had to come in. I was struggling in college. Got raped by the only person I trusted at the time and didn’t really have any friends or family to go to about it.
I’m a lot better now. And I know I have some symptoms of PTSD, since I used to have it really bad from the time I got raped. But idk if I can have PTSD from that time of my life. Looking back it seems like I was just a completely different person. But it scares me a little how much I’ve changed. Maybe I haven’t changed at all and it’s just sitting in the back of my head waiting to come back out…
So if anyone knows please let me know! Cause I feel like I just shouldn’t care. Or at least not as much as I do.
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2023.06.04 21:54 sgsduke Newly diagnosed, life is a clusterfork, help me restructure 😭

TL;DR: Partner and I are both ADHD and our adhd life coping mechanisms are not working anymore... how do we restructure our life and household? Looking for advice on how to even think it through.
I was that weird "gifted kid" my whole life. I got through college with a dual BS in mathematics and BA in English lit/writing and a minor in physics from a top 10 university. I have always been a swimmer with absolutely no land-based athletic ability haha and I was coping with stress by exercising like 4 hours a day 5 days a week and an hour or so on the other days. Healthy coping mechanisms haha never met her.
When I graduated and went to work full time, life was suddenly 100x harder at least. My physical health problems started presenting at this point too. I had moved all the way across the country so I was just fumbling through it alone haha. I made it work and my career went on a (successful) roller coaster (data analytics and engineering) until 2021 when I lost my job. That's a long story of me changing positions, covid, 5 managers quitting, chronic health problems, and ableism but I'm also able to admit that I was not a very good program manager so that was a bad fit position.
It took a year to get my physical health under control enough to get a job. I have a job, it's been about 8 months now, another data / architecture tech job at a start up. It's a lot of work and kinda stressful but I do really like it. I'm still quite chronically struggling with my health (lol Chronic) so I have extremely little energy outside of my 8 hour work day. I work from home 6am-2pm ish (time zones make it early).
When I wasn't working, I was able to dedicate more time and energy to running the household and supporting my partner, who is also a super adhd software developer. He hasn't found any meds that help him but he's also really bad at taking meds and he struggles a LOT with insomnia and sleep inertia - waking him up is a great feat of strength.
This man TRIES so hard. If he was doing this stuff, not getting up in the morning, not always doing his work on time, not following through on chores, and not trying, we would have a big problem, I wouldn't be okay with that. But hand to God he tries so hard. I help him a LOT to the point that I'm afraid I'm kind of a crutch, and I'm not a good crutch lol.
My biggest issues are with getting emotionally overwhelmed and having meltdowns (yeah my psych thinks I'm probably autistic too) or being snappy. I have trouble paying attention which frustrates him when he needs my help with a house project or whatever. I have trouble when my routine is disrupted. I have trouble starting and finishing things. I'm extremely sensitive to criticism and I don't want to be.
Sometimes our coping mechanisms conflict, like when I want to have some item like a heating pad in multiple locations so that I have it where I am without having to go get it, but he wants things to have a place where they go, so the heating pads being scattered is stressful. (Heating pad isn't a great example because he gets why I want one in every room lol but other stuff I can't currently call to mind. Random bottles of aleve and benadryl. Bandaid. Papers and pens. Etc.)
We're in a place now where I work a very demanding 8-9 hour day and then require a nap due to my fatigue (work in progress). I work entirely remote. He is a hybrid but mostly remote software developer on a pretty big and well known (to some people) project. He likes his team and wants to keep his job, but he just had a really rough quarter working with a different manager (not his) and getting a bad performance review as a result. Currently he spends a lot of time in adhd paralysis land scrolling YouTube and reddit (but not in a toxic manosphere way lol he's a bisexual vegan feminist), so he's not doing his work or house projects and he just gets more and more stressed as it continues.
I know that (a) my rest and naps are not "free time" because it's required of me and (b) adhd paralysis is also not "free time." But it results in me packing so much work into my actual free time and feeling like he has all this free time that he's not using to help. I know it's not that simple but hey feelings.
We have to figure out. Everything. How do we keep our house functioning and clean. How do we support him in getting up and moving in the morning. How do we set up our house to meet our needs? I need just any advice on how to even think it through.
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2023.06.04 21:53 gucci_gas_station Today Would’ve Been 10 Month Clean. I Decided To Throw My Life Away Instead.

This is a bit of a long post but please bear with me… I’m filled with immense regret. Shameful. Once turned to twice, turned to weekly, then nightly, then whenever I felt bored or sad (which is always).
What I realize as I take this step backward is that this addiction never truly ends, but the hazy cloud keeping us dependent does lift, and the light of life shines again.
It was honestly difficult to function effectively without it till month 2, but I put a lot of work to make up for lost potential and was doing things stoner me never imagined would be possible. Got my job back and made great money. Used weed money for vacations and debt. Improved my relationship. Improved my physical health. Started college and got my first 4.0. I was going out with friends and life felt better, even through tough times.
And I’m already seeing the effect of going back. Everything I worked hard for is being taken away because of my choice to return to weed. I’m stuck. Again. I fight with my partner. I’ve isolated myself to scroll and smoke away the day in bed. I oversleep and over eat. I walked out of my job because of a paranoia/anxiety attack I caused by smoking (maybe the stupidest thing I’ve ever done). I’m turning in late, half-assed homework assignments. Weed isn’t to blame for my actions, but I do see an obvious pattern that hinders my chances of success.
All of this to say that I’ve experienced the lows, and literal highs, and lows again of this addiction. We are better people without weed. I guarantee your life will get better without weed. Withdrawals are nothing compared to the feeling of losing your dream life. Only up from here. Today is my Day 1,again.
TLDR: Nostalgia is a liar. You are a better person without weed. Don’t throw away your potential for a 10 minute head rush. You WILL trade in everything valuable for nothing in return.
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2023.06.04 21:45 pine_frost Path to quant trading/research later in life

Hi! I was wondering if anyone had personal or anecdotal experience of becoming a quant traderesearcher after working as a software engineer.
I currently work as a software engineer at a top trading firm. The salary is unbelievable, but I can't help feeling disappointed with my day-to-day work. I spend most of my day grinding through business logic, plumbing data from one place to another. I miss the feeling of uncovering deep truths, of cracking a tough puzzle or homework problem through a sudden flash of insight. My primary motivation for becoming a QT/QR is to work on more academic-y problems (as opposed to business-logic-y problems), with greater salary potential and prestige being secondary motivating factors.
My impression is that my academic background is decent but not spectacular for quant. I studied computer science with a minor in math and graduated with a 4.0 GPA from a solid school (one of CMU/Berkeley) fewer than two years ago. In college, I was a SWE intern at several top companies. I also have a few competition awards at the level of USACO Platinum.
I guess I have two primary questions:
First, is there actually a feasible path into the industry for me at this point? If so, should I be thinking about going back to school? I am terrified that my window of opportunity to make it into quant is over and that I have permanently fucked up by not pursuing a quant internship.
Second, will working as a quant actually address my primary motivation? I have heard that quants spend nontrivial time e.g. cleaning data, but my impression was that they also spend a lot of time working on legitimately interesting projects. It certainly seems like most of the quants at my firm fit the academic archetype, but then again, many of the software engineers also fit it...
Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
submitted by pine_frost to FinancialCareers [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:44 jdf-347580 Has anyone been in a similar situation to me and have any advice?

Ok, so I have not had your average college experience. I started at one college during COVID and then transferred. I had no solid career plan at the time and I was highly depressed, struggling with my sexuality, and was suicidal. I was working part-time as a babysitter that whole year and had an online business. I was enjoying my science classes a lot and the caregiving aspect that came with babysitting, so I started to look a little bit more into pre-med and began talking to my doctors and family members in medicine about it. They all thought it would be a great idea for me to explore, and I agreed.
Fast forward to that summer, and I was transferring schools. At the time, it was just not wise for me to go far away from home and I had always lived in a small area (I graduated with a small class of fewer than 75 people), so I was not used to big changes and big classes. I opted to go to a smaller school even though it cost a little bit more for me to go than the bigger school nearby and paid about $80k for my undergrad (mostly private loans since my parents make too much for me to qualify for much in federal and they also can't help me pay them back for the most part due to their own financial struggles). I didn't get a bio degree but instead got a degree in applied math concentrated in modeling and analytics in the natural sciences with three minors (bio/chem/biostats). Before transferring to my new school, I was unable to secure a job or volunteer work in the local hospital due to COVID concerns still. So, I worked as a full-time nanny and I loved it.
I went onto my new school and was still very depressed and suicidal, but eventually got some professors and people who really started to believe in me, and made some great new friends. I got offered to be a student leader and a full-time research position for the summer which I continued through last school year and am working in again this summer, as well as the student leader position. I have also picked up a volunteering role with a suicide crisis line for LGBTQ+ youth that I am very passionate about, and the only real clinical stuff I have is less than 10 hours of shadowing. I have a cumulative college GPA of about 3.85 and a BCPM GPA of 3.77 (last I checked).
I knew I was going to have to take a gap year, but some people on Reddit/otherwise have advised me to not even consider going to med school until I'm 30 because I have to pay off my $80k in loans first, which I am incredibly terrified about while I am in the gap year (or several) since I am not sure any job that I would get with relevant experience to a med school app would pay me enough to even feel comfortable paying that off. My parents said I may have to get two jobs which is just crazy to me because I would also have to pay for MCAT prep/studying and also apps. I just feel lost, and I'm not sure if anyone else has ever been in a situation like mine that was also pre-med, and knew what to do? This is giving me the MOST amount of anxiety I have ever experienced and I'm not sure what is the best plan of action as so many different people are in my head.
submitted by jdf-347580 to premed [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:41 BigWhiteWhalee What does my feelings mean?

Alright so this might be a little chaotic and longer as I'm unable to put my thoughts into words on this, so please bear with me.
For context, I'm a 21M and my gf is soon to be 23F. We were long distance for 3 and a half years, and moved in together after summer. I'm studying at collage at the moment eith ambitions to become software engineeprogrammer, and my gf finished highschool with no collage and works from home but it's not the best paid one and is only temporary, with no exact plans or ambitions for the future. Also i should mention we are both the first partner for each other with no prior experience with dating and anything involved, as we started dating on highschool and met online.
We had a fair share of problems throughout the years, as every relationship has, but we sorted through most of them without some bigger problems. She never was really skinny, more on the bigger side but I've never really minded it before, and i am tall skinny guy, the basic type. We never broke up, so it's not on-off relationship or anything like that. However recently i started to get some thoughts I'm not sure i like. I started to find problems that I didn't realize were there before, that I'm starting to mind a tad too much.
First off it's her appearance, she's not ugly but she's overweight now, and i think it's starting to affect me and we both notice it. I get horny without problems, can jerk off without problems, but I don't feel like having sex or getting intimate with her. She says it's okay, but i know she notices and misses it and needs it as well. I also started to notice other women more, subconsciously without even realizing it at first. I've pointed this out to her subtly and gently many times before, but before it was due to my concern about her health mostly, without much success. I lent her money to get threadmill and other equipment, each time stopped working out on it and sold it after a while, tried encouraging eating healthier without much success too. Says she wants to change and lose weight too, but she just might not be able to psychologically, i don't know, but I don't want to force her too hard obviously as it's her choice.
Next there's problem of her not having much ambition in life. She finished highschool without any intention of going to college, and works not the best job, without much effort to find something better. She doesn't have goals or anything, and that's okay i understand it and respect it, but it started to bug me a little. I think i would like someone more equal to me, to inspire each other and push each other forward. Also not many hobbies or things she likes to do, i don't have many hobbies myself, but she has even less than i do.
Next it's her overall health. She gets sick and nauseous often, sometimes even faints, she gets scared easily and then makes a big thing even from a small pain in arm or leg, which makes it even worse and so on and on. I get it it's not her fault and I'm trying to be there for her, to make her feel safe and all, but it's getting to a point where she's unable to stay alone in a flat when i have to leave to visit my parents or anything and she rather goes to visit her mom too than staying alone a night or two on her own. I'm trying to understand it and respect it, but it's a little bit too attached than i would like, she's an adult and should be able to handle few nights on her own i think.
With health there comes also the future plans. The more i try to think about having family with her in the future or anything like that, the more i think it's not the best idea. By instinct i want the mother of my kids to be as healthy as possible, to deliver healthy baby if we ever decide to have one, but also to be able to get through the pregnancy without complications on her health that could endanger her or anything. It's further in the future but it's starting to bug me too.. with that there comes the question of marriage, as i want kids one day for sure, marriage becomes questionable as well.
My question is, how the hell am I supposed to make heads and tails out of all this? I still love her and have feelings for her, i don't want to hurt her as she's really dependant on me, and i don't know if i want to break up. Renting a place together makes it even more hard, since even if we break up, we would have to solve moving out, and as we moved quite far from our homes, it wouldn't be easiest to move back and since she doesn't make much monthly she would not be able to rent on her own. She also doesn't have many friends here as she works from home, so that's not an option too. And overall i don't even know if i want to go that way, i don't want to throw 4 years of working together on building something, our relationship just to throw it away and start again..
If you need any additional info ask and I'll edit, i can't think of anything else to add and it's getting a tad long too. Thanks everyone who got through it all, i appreciate it.
submitted by BigWhiteWhalee to TooAfraidToAsk [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:40 Beehaver Gpa +/- system

In my community college before ASU there was no +/- system an A counted as 4.0 all the way through. how common is it for universities to not do that? Because I was kind of disappointed that I no longer have a 4.0. Thankfully, I only have two semesters ( 8 classes)left and I have a 3.96. Im honestly debating just giving up though and getting a B for this last research class I’m in because I hate the way the professor teaches and she’s a slow grader. Does high GPA really matter that much once I graduate and I’m in my field? I’m doing forensic science and some criminal justice so I don’t think I’ll go for my masters at least not anytime soon.
submitted by Beehaver to ASU [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:36 Monoceros3182 Anyone from Virginia?

Hi. I'm a 38F with a significant physical disability. I'm located in Virginia USA. Wheelchair user. I'm tired being alone so I've been doing the OLD thing with zero luck. The only type of guy that's interested in me falls into one of two groups. They are either expressing interest because they think I'm desperate (and easy) or they are afraid to ever leave their house (agoraphobia). I'm active in my community, socialize and volunteer, but that hasn't led to anything either.
I understand that my body isn't the greatest as a result of my disability and I have obvious health issues, but I have a lot to offer the right guy. I'm employed, sarcastic, intelligent, outgoing, and debt free. I have two college degrees. I have a cool family. I'm motivated to make a difference in this world. No criminal record. I'm not perfect, but I'm deserving of a chance.
submitted by Monoceros3182 to disableddating [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:32 soulreaper4444 People who did MSCS despite having a non-cs undergrad degree, what was your journey like?

Hi all,
I am planning on applying to MSCS or MS in Software Engineering related masters program and since I don't have a computer science undergrad degree (Mechanical), I wanted to know what colleges others, who were/are in similar situation as me, applied to and know what their journey was like and what they did.
Would love to chat with people who are were in similar situation as me so I can get a bit of proper direction in this journey.
As of now, I have roughly 2 years work experience as a Data Engineer at a Product based company. I am hoping since Data Engineering kind of like a specialization of Software engineering, it will have weight in my profile.
Thanks in advance.
submitted by soulreaper4444 to MSCS [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:30 CCtenor Be wary of your own expectations

I’m writing this more as a PSA than for support, although these thoughts to come from some recent frustrations over some events that have transpired, and decisions I’ve had to make.
If you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, be wary of your own expectations. Be wary of continuing to believe that you can continue doing life the same way you did life before your diagnoses, especially if part of the reason you were diagnosed is related to burnout, mental health, or life otherwise falling apart on you.
I grew up with undiagnosed ADHD. Prior to my diagnoses, I only really did 2 things in my life. I worked, and I participated on a worship team as a leader, and then an arranger. As a result of the way my behavior was condemned by my home environment growing up, and how strict it was, I basically had no social life. It was too difficult to jump through all the hoops I needed to plan anything with friends, the core people I looked to for guidance wouldn’t allow me to develop my own solutions to problems I encountered, and I was slowly taught not to trust in my own judgment, or in the ability of anybody outside of my nuclear family to care about me as much as those within it.
As a result of my family structure eventually causing the breakup of my first and only relationship, I entered a depression that stayed with me for years, slowly and barely improving, but never going away. While being in college at the time put me in contact with some friends and events, graduating college and beginning to work professionally meant that I lost what little social life I had. The rest of my time became dedicated to work, my worship team, and choir - something that had become my therapy after my breakup.
The lack of a social life eventually took its toll, though. The only place I felt more fully understood and not judged for my differences were in choir, but that wasn’t something I could guarantee participation in, especially given the pandemic which began a short while ago.
Almost 4 months of business travel shortly after the pandemic began, and lockdowns were beginning, wore me out. I had a panic attack and decided to head into therapy.
Therapy lead to discussions of ADHD.
After a year of working on my trauma with my therapist, I felt ready to tackle making a psychiatric appointment, which led to an official diagnoses and beginning of medication.
That same year, I also finally had the energy to start building a social life. With medication, a diagnoses that allowed me to stop blaming myself for “being broken”, and a better understanding of how my trauma affected me and how to overcome, I felt like I could improve.
And I did.
I genuinely feel more satisfied with my life now.
While I accepted and understood the limitations that ADHD had placed on my life, I never truly and fully let go of my expectation that I’d be able to just do the same thing I always did l, snd just add in the parts that were missing. Like I said before, pretty much my entire life before I was diagnosed was dedicated to preparing materials, and sharpening my skills, for my worship team.
Which I enjoyed, but took the ability to do so completely for granted as I now added regular, and big, social events to my life that also required their own planning. Now I’m going to MegaCon every year. Now I’m going to Dapper Day every spring and fall. I went from dreaming of maybe cosplaying some characters some day, to coordinating multiple group outfits with different sets of friends 3 times a year. Now I’m starting to see movies when I’d like, and now I’m trying to find the time to look for, and plan, smaller events I can attend more regularly where I live, instead of just depending on 3 MASSIVE doses of validation a year.
And not once did I give serious thought to the fact that I wouldn’t be able to sustain adding these while continuing to invest as much effort into my worship team, or my job.
Until, during a meeting this past Friday to address my inability to meet the FIRST set of deliverables for my PIP (performance improvement plan), and I was forced to QUICKLY decide what matters most to me.
I NEED this job. It’s what gives me the money to access the healthcare I’ve been using to improve my mental health by investing in my hobbies, and develop social connections with people who have, or understand, the struggles, I face.
I will not give up the social life I’ve begun to develop, because that budding social life has been what I’ve been working towards in therapy and ADHD treatment.
Which means that I simply cannot sustain the same effort I’ve been putting into my worship team. I might be able to maybe prepare myself, but my church isn’t affluent enough to compensate me what I’d need for me to continue risking my job by burning more energy than I have on what amounts to a part time music teaching job to help other members of the worship team grow.
I no longer have the time or energy reserve to be a teacher, a professional, and a person.
I must be a professional.
I will not give up being a person.
The best I can do is be a participant, but I’ve been burning the candle at both ends for longer than I should have, and need to rest.
Be wary of the expectations you used to have about yourself, because you might not be able to meet them if there are things you need to change in your life to improve or grow.
submitted by CCtenor to ADHD [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:30 No-Constant9087 Why would my mom say that?

Okay, I'm so angry right now. So my mom called me today, asking what I'm doing, etc., and I had a bit of a sleepy voice because I was tired. She asked why I was depressed, to which I answered that I'm not. Then, out of nowhere, she told me I should take a rope and hang myself? We weren't arguing; it was just casual talk, and she told me this? I immediately hung up on her and was extremely shocked and started crying. I still can't process it and don't believe she actually said that. It hurt me at first, but now I'm extremely angry and disgusted by it. We have a pretty good relationship. Last year, I was actually struggling with my mental health because I graduated from college, had no job, and felt a bit lost in life. Both of my parents were concerned about me and were helping me get through that time. I can say that I'm the happiest I've ever been now, just enjoying life and working on my career. Why would she say that to me? I don't want to talk about it with her or anyone else close to me. I'm ashamed that my own mother would say something so hurtful to her child. She's acting like nothing happened now, and I don't think she realizes how much it hurt me.
submitted by No-Constant9087 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:29 No-Constant9087 Why would my mom say that?

Okay, I'm so angry right now. So my mom called me today, asking what I'm doing, etc., and I had a bit of a sleepy voice because I was tired. She asked why I was depressed, to which I answered that I'm not. Then, out of nowhere, she told me I should take a rope and hang myself? We weren't arguing; it was just casual talk, and she told me this? I immediately hung up on her and was extremely shocked and started crying. I still can't process it and don't believe she actually said that. It hurt me at first, but now I'm extremely angry and disgusted by it. We have a pretty good relationship. Last year, I was actually struggling with my mental health because I graduated from college, had no job, and felt a bit lost in life. Both of my parents were concerned about me and were helping me get through that time. I can say that I'm the happiest I've ever been now, just enjoying life and working on my career. Why would she say that to me? I don't want to talk about it with her or anyone else close to me. I'm ashamed that my own mother would say something so hurtful to her child. She's acting like nothing happened now, and I don't think she realizes how much it hurt me.
submitted by No-Constant9087 to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:29 Amazing_Meringue_709 Advice for improving my chances of acceptance. List of my life achievements. Tell me what else I should do to be competitive.

Medical Assistant in a substance abuse facility for 2 years, Dental Assistant for 6 years, Active US Navy 11 years, Associate Health Science, Associate Dental Hygiene, Bachelors Health Science, Registered Dental Hygienist for 4 years, I have treated over 900 patients in Haiti, Columbia, DR, Guatemala and Honduras 3.75 GPA, 3.5 Science, Volunteered somewhere around 100 hours over past 10 years at local health clinics treating patients and also with meals on wheelsl, Recently got into contact with a local perfusionist and I am hoping to sit in on about 5 cases before the end of the year, I won the award for Best Customer Service In the Hospital where I work of all employees. Tactical Combat Care Certified Completed field medical training with Marines. Certified to administer local Anesthesia
I am exiting the military in the next 7 months and want my next career to be Perfusion. I am currently still Active so I am taking leave in order to shadow a perfusionist, I cannot pick up a perfusion Assistant job at this time. I want to begin submitting applications November this year. I have been dedicated to achieving this goal for awhile as the next step in my career and to further my education and want to become as well rounded as I can.
Thankyou for the responses. Not sure why post came out in this unorganized fashion. Posting from reddit app on phone.
submitted by Amazing_Meringue_709 to Perfusion [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:28 Superstorm22 Jump to Diagnostic Radiography from a dead end job?

So short descriptor. I’m a 27 year old R&D tech in the medical engineering industry, though my degree is science related. To make a long story short, the job is relatively low stress, low paying but enough for my needs. People are nice and all that, but the downside is I see 0 chance to move up or advance. It’s a small company and most of the roles would be engineering based, which I have no training in.
In short, I feel I’m in a dead end job.
I’ve been looking around and a job that caught my eye was a Diagnostic Radiographer (the person who does your x-ray/mri) I’d quality for going back to uni and finance wise I can make it work comfortably. It would mean steady pay that advances and I think more opportunities to grow in the NHS.
My only concern is that it would mean longer hours and shift work, which I know is part of the package. I just know and have heard the horror stories of the state of the NHS.
My point is, I’m nervous about taking the risk. I struggle with mental health and support from family, so I’d like to know or hear from someone to tell me if this kind of move is a risk worth taking. Or provide their own accounts of working in the field.
submitted by Superstorm22 to careerguidance [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:27 Green_Opportunity_34 What Can I Do?

Long time lurker here. I just graduated college and began working full time as a nurse at a busy hospital. Every single shift, I am completely exhausted and I have never been in so much physical pain. I have multiple health conditions which would allow me to get disability, but I wouldn’t be able to afford to live on what they’d offer me. I grew up In poverty. Now I make more money than anyone in my family, but I am still lower-middle class. They just increased my rent by $300 a month and I am barely getting by despite working my ass off and suffering. I am stretched as thin as possible at work with nowhere near enough resources to take care of all the patients I am assigned. Yet, this is the best hospital in the area. I wish I could move somewhere cheaper, but my credit is shit and nobody will accept someone that just started working 6 months ago. Of course my parents have worse credit and can’t co-sign. What the hell are we supposed to do?
My dad constantly talks about how I make so much money and should be able to buy a house and whatnot because he always had at least a rental house on minimum wage back in the 80s. My one bedroom apartment is 4x as much as his mortgage on a 2 bedroom house. So tired of this.
submitted by Green_Opportunity_34 to antiwork [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:27 LanceBarney Minnesota’s incredible legislative session is a testament to “blue no matter who” voting.

Governor Tim Walz was my house rep. He was one of the 10-20 most conservative democrats in the house. Refused to sponsor MFA. Among many other terrible stances he had. I campaigned strongly against him in the 2018 primary.
He just had a legislative session that any reasonable progressive would be deeply impressed by.
Free school meals, legal weed, paid family leave, strong union protections, end to non-compete, drivers licenses for noncitizens, more affordable/free college, teachers being able to negotiate class sizes, gun reform, abortion rights, LGBT protections, and being a sanctuary state for both abortion and gender affirming care, etc.
If every progressive in Minnesota followed the strategy pushed by some on the left of “don’t vote for moderates” after Walz beat strong progressive Erin Murphy in the primary, then instead of having arguably the most impressive legislative session of any state in recent memory, we would’ve had a republican governor and literally none of this passes and probably much worse stuff gets passed.
This is a real world example of voting blue no matter who directly benefitting people not just of Minnesota. But the ridiculous legislation targeted at trans youth and women in Iowa, North/South Dakota.. now they have the right to come to this state and receive that care. Which they wouldn’t have had without a historically moderate Tim Walz as Governor.
submitted by LanceBarney to seculartalk [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:25 Kiiris 27 [M4F] Tennessee/Anywhere Kind Hearted Man Hoping To Attract Kind Hearted People

Hey there, thanks for stopping by!
You can call me Calvin. I moved to the Nashville area last September and I've been hoping to find someone nice to talk to. I'm not a big Redditor, I use this account mostly to meet people. However you can check out some other posts I've made like this for more information about myself (also a picture!).
I think most of the time I give off the impression to people that I'm very relaxed, kind hearted, and pleasant to be around. I go to the gym pretty regularly, so I tend to have healthy (boring?) lifestyle choices. As in I barley ever drink, I don't ever smoke, I'm not really a clubbing person. I am introverted but I do live a fairly active lifestyle. Preferable social activities for me are arcades, hiking, movies, skating, board games, and more. The gym for me is normally a solitary activity, but I do have others. I play games sometimes, I'm really interested in chess, I listen to podcasts, I used to be a small streamer, I watch anime, etc. I work full-time at the moment as a software QA in a consulting firm. IT is something I recently got a career in, but it's definitely not the only thing I'm interested in. I'm also pursuing an online degree in computer science as well.
Underneath this palpitating aura of coolness that I (obviously) exude, I have gone through a lot of tough mental challenges and personal growth. I regularly try to educate myself on learning about different perspectives and life experiences of others. I want to be very patient, and understanding of people's circumstances and personalities. I've worked with children, people with autism, disabilities, and have struggled a lot with mental illness myself. Psychology is a field I've studied extensively both personally and in college and improving yourself is something I advocate very strongly for most people.
Anyway! I'm rambling and I wanted to get to some bullet points. You can use these as a honest summation of myself from the most trustworthy source ever (me!)
Pros of Talking To Me: -I don't really have arguments with people -I have experience (and a desire!) with talking to people all over the world -I'm a rubber ball of laughs and fun-I tend to have good internal dialogue I can communicate well to people -I'm generally self reliant and don't normally ask foexpect things from others -I wish to be helpful and encouraging to people wanting to improve themselves -I don't mind talking to people even if I'm not attracted to them
Cons of Talking To Me: -I don't know a lot of things about the world, and I lack many different life experiences -I don't think I'm as conventionally charismatic or adept at making friends -Sometimes it can be hard for me to try new things, encouragement can be helpful -I've had various negative past experiences with self deprecation and lack of confidence in myself -I try to joke and be fun but I do think I come across as boring, depressed or too serious sometimes -If you live outside of the US it might be difficult to talk to you as much or meet you eventually
Pros of Dating Me: -I'm not necessarily looking for someone with the same goals as me -I used to be more clingy when I was 18/19, but I don't identify with being that way anymore, even to people I really like -I've never struggled with too much of an ego or overconfidence - I don't have set standards for people I'm willing to date, in terms of religion, politics, backgrounds, ethnicity, illnesses or social status. Being kindhearted is good for getting my attention -I've been really interested in learning about experiences of women and have had lots of female friends over the years -I'm willing to relocate to see you
Cons of Dating Me: -I don't have very much sexual/dating experience -I don't currently own a car -I used to identify with the redpill/blackpill community, but I've since seen the light (hurray!) -I've had prior negative relationship experiences that reinforced a lack of confidence in myself. They were a long time ago and I've worked through them a lot, but maybe it can be a point of conversation? -I don't normally have as much time for voice calls during the day, but I will try on weekends! -I don't think I would want a child until I am at least 30 and am better off financially
So that it! It took a while to write all this out, I appreciate you reading as much as you did. If any of these are green flags for you, feel free to send me a message. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised! If this essay still hasn't convinced you yet, I still have this final reward I wanted to share with you. I took a photoshoot last November, so if you message me I will send you a link where you can see more pictures of myself if you would like me to. However, I would prefer not to post it in this thread here.
Thanks for coming, and I hope you have a nice rest of your day
submitted by Kiiris to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:22 803_843_864 Help… I think my niece is on the spectrum.

I’m an aunt. My SIL, who I’ll call “Katherine,” is a SAHM to our 30-month old niece, who I’ll call “Alice.” I’m going to describe her a bit, and then go into detail on the situation, and I’d like everyone here to tell me: 1) does it sound like ASD? Do you recognize these symptoms? And 2) what would you do?
Here goes.
Alice does not talk at all, and she only takes formula… despite being almost 3.
Her parents seem well aware that this is concerning, but they haven’t taken any steps to get her assessed because I think they’re scared to find out the answer.
First, the talking: Alice babbles, sort of. It’s more like she’s vocalizing than like she’s trying to form words. She makes happy little sounds as she moves around the room. She squeals, giggles, and sometimes makes a kind of sucking sound through her teeth, as if she’s experimenting with all the different noises her mouth can make. She understands some words— for example, if you say “Where’s your blanket?”, she’ll look for it.
Now, the eating: She has never shown any interest in eating anything but formula. She has never successfully eaten baby food or solids, and whenever she’s given real food, she will touch it, explore the texture, play with it, squeeze it… anything but actually eating it. My MIL is a nurse, and while she is concerned, she’s also oddly passive. She doesn’t pressure her daughter to DO anything to get this checked out. I’m really worried that an opportunity for early intervention for ASD is being missed.
And finally, a few other developmental behavioral notes: She clings to people she knows, but also doesn’t seem bothered when people leave— even her mom. She kind of takes everything in stride. However, she does cry if something is taken away, like when you try to wash a toy or blanket. She is indifferent to animals and doesn’t seem to understand them. She’ll kind of just walk right over a cat or dog and doesn’t seem interested in petting or playing with them.
She has also had extremely little exposure to the world. She was born in 2020 and her mom was very frightened about covid, so she has spent the vast majority of her life so far around just her parents, grandparents, and us. For some perspective, her first visit to the grocery store didn’t happen until she was 2. Her day-to-day existence has been 95% just being with her mom in an apartment.
Mom’s background: Katherine is in her late 20s, a military spouse, never finished college, and struggles with depression. She had Alice in her mid-twenties, and while her husband had a stable career, it is still on the young side for what is considered “normal” in our socioeconomic class and culture. We both come from the kind of families who have the expectation that you “get your life in order” before having kids— complete your undergraduate education, establish a stable career, save up a nest egg, and get your physical and mental health under control. My partner and Katherine’s mother was in her late 30s and had a master’s degree when she had them, had a stable career, and even managed to earn her PhD after they were born. As a side note, Katherine’s husband and I followed the prescribed path exactly: we both graduated from college, and since becoming a father he’s earned a master’s degree. He had a successful career in military intelligence before transitioning to the private sector. I’m an up-and-coming young leader in my company with had 3 promotions in less than 5 years under my belt.
My partner, Katherine’s brother, finished college but has mostly worked various food service jobs in the last decade. He briefly worked for a nonprofit before his position was eliminated, and now he’s back to food service. To be clear, he’s had a terrible run of luck— Covid left him unemployed for a long time, and each time he starts to get back on his feet, other emergencies like car repairs have repeatedly depleted his savings. Like his sister, he’s very smart… but after they reached a certain age, their mom just kind of stopped pushing them. Her attitude is way more “do whatever makes you happy” than “you have to work your butt off because survival is expensive.” As a result, Katherine’s husband and I both support our spouses to varying degrees. My point here is: We can’t really rely on their mom or dad to take charge of the situation with Alice and insist Katherine get her tested. They’re involved, but bizarrely hands-off.
Lastly, in case it matters: Katherine had a very difficult birth during which she and Alice very nearly died, and that understandably scared her out of ever wanting to have another child. She also suffered from what sounded like at least moderate postpartum depression, if not severe. I love Katherine dearly, but she doesn’t exactly have it together.
Does this sound like ASD to you guys? Do you have any suggestions on approaching her, or should I just wait and see what happens?
A little background on me: I’m neurodivergent, and was diagnosed with severe ADHD at a young age. I’ve been treated since I was under five, and medicated since first grade, and it saved my life. I wouldn’t be where I am today without early intervention, and I’ve come to know many, many people as an adult who remember presenting with severe symptoms in childhood but whose parents eschewed treatment because they “didn’t believe in that kind of thing.” I’ve spoken with them about how this avoidance and denial affected their lives, and it’s devastating and heartbreaking.
I’ve also worked with a range of neurodivergent kids, including kids with autism— though none under school age. In short, I am intimately familiar with the behaviors and feelings of neurodivergent kids, but I don’t know firsthand what the early signs of ASD look like in toddlers. But I know the importance of early intervention and the damage that ignoring the problem can do.
My partner and I are waiting until we’re ready to have children, but we love this little girl so much and just want her to be happy and healthy, and we’re both scared that her mother burying her head in the sand is just going to hurt her.
submitted by 803_843_864 to Autism_Parenting [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 21:21 Brassmonkey700 Just finished a 3 month internship and feeling used

Like the title says. I just finished a 15 week unpaid internship with a digital media company as a producer. I was familiar with the network which has millions of viewers and the show I worked on was very popular which got me excited at the start. I went in seeking journalism experience.
I took the internship (unpaid) during my final semester of my senior year of college, which now ends in one week. Entering the internship I thought it would be a cool experience to learn hands on but figured they wouldn’t ask too much of me considering it was unpaid. Turns out, they had me waking up at 7am and working till 4pm three days a week. Within one week they had me fully writing, producing, and editing my own stories which got turned to YouTube/FB etc. videos.
They began asking me to stay after and produce stories for the next show and to find and develop pitches for new stories in my off time. The show, while large only had a team of two producers and one host. Two producers fell out after a couple weeks (I even worked with them on my days off during spring break during this time) and our team ended up with one producer, me, and a new paid temp who knew as much as I did. It became all consuming but with all the work I was putting in for the show I thought I was earning….something.
As my time with them came to an end I realized how many coping mechanisms I’d developed to handle the workload, how I hadn’t been tending to my academic work as much as I should’ve, nor my mental and physical health. Upon the end of it, I reached out the the hiring director who I had developed a good relationship with to say thank you and inquire about positions, no reply. Another cc’d director i had never met sent a generic reply encouraging me to sign up for openings when I see them. Other than that I got a fairly nice but rather generic letter of rec from a producer which had.. not the best grammar and I had to photoshop it to say ‘he’ instead of ‘she.’ They also sent a, ‘keep in touch.’
I know to some extent it’s my fault, I signed up for it. I figured in media paid internships are near impossible to come by so I took the chance. I did learn a decent amount on producing digital news but I’m not sure it should’ve come at such a cost. By the end of month one I was no longer learning, just working as if I was a full on producer. Also sad to know my videos got millions of views but no credit to me for producing them. Is there any way this was positive and I’m looking at it wrong? I guess it was a large part of my life these months and now that it’s over I feel left with so little and a bit used.
submitted by Brassmonkey700 to antiwork [link] [comments]