Savvas realize student login

It’s happened again...someone on this subreddit lost their vault this week. The agony is palpable.
“How could this happen”, they wonder. “I have a strong master password. I have good 2FA. I practice good opsec on my devices. I enter my master password every few days so I don’t forget it. But today...I can’t log in!”
People don’t talk about this enough, but there are TWO threats to your vault. The first one, that an attacker gets to read your secrets, is the one everyone talks about. But losing access can be just as bad! One Redditor scoffed at this. He argued that he could go to each website in turn and invoke their recovery workflow. There are a couple of problems with this. First, where do you get the list of websites? The vault has the list...oops, I guess that doesn’t work. Second, the recovery workflow often involves things like the name of your first pet or the name of your first boyfriend; if you answer truthfully, then if there is a website breach an attacker may learn enough to be able to reset your password on other sites. You should be making up unique fibs for those answers and saving those. If they are only in your vault, you’re sunk.
Third, your vault can and should have other items, ones that can’t be regained through a recovery workflow. What about the combination to your gym locker? What about the PIN to your husband’s mobile phone? The contents of your vault is precious and possibly irreplaceable.
“I have my master password memorized!”, you exclaim, “I’ll never forget it!” Sorry, experimental psychologists have known for 50 years that human memory is not reliable. You can recall a fact on a daily basis and then, with no warning, >POOF< it’s gone.
So what happens is, they come on to this subreddit and ask, “How can I get my vault back?” The harsh answer is that—aside from some workarounds like finding a Bitwarden client that is still logged in—there is not much that can be done if it gets to that point. There is no back door, at least for personal vaults. If there was a super special sneaky way for you to get back into your vault without your master password, it would be an attack surface for bad guys to open up your vault as well.
As part of setting up your vault, you need an emergency kit. An emergency kit is not as complete as a full backup of your vault, which is also an important precaution, but it is a bare minimum subset of a backup. It is enough to help you get back into your vault.

What does an emergency kit need?

• Your master password: your master password is inextricably coupled with the encryption of your vault. The encryption of your vault is your single greatest protection, and without the master password you have nothing.
• Your email address: it sounds trivial, but on the day that someone else has to settle your last affairs, access to your vault is critical, and the email address is the second major part of gaining access to your vault.
• Your 2FA recovery code: your vault absolutely should have 2FA enabled. On a free account, that’s going to mean TOTP (the “authenticator app”). On a premium account you have better options such as a FIDO2/WebAuthn hardware security token. But in either event, if you lose your phone or your Yubikey breaks, the Bitwarden recovery code will allow you to still log into your vault.

How to store your emergency kit?

In its simplest form, you should put all these things on a piece of paper and store it where you keep your important documents such as your birth certificate, vehicle title, and marriage certificate. Some people keep these things in a fireproof box in their house. Others have a safe deposit box.
If you are extra cautious, you might consider storing a second emergency kit in a different location, in case of fire. Perhaps you have a trusted relative, or the alternate executor of y’all’s estate might hold a copy.
I know, it feels counter-intuitive to “just leave” your vault wide open. “If someone gets the emergency kit, they get everything!” The point is, there is no choice. You must have a written record. Your challenge will be to find a way to save it that is secure enough for your risk model.
“Hey! I’ll store the emergency kit in the cloud. That way no one can break into my house!” Um, no. That doesn’t work. You need the username, password, and 2FA for the cloud service. If you store something in the cloud, you also need an encryption key; don’t you dare store something like this in the cloud without also encrypting it. And none of this can be stored in the cloud; it’s circular. So you end up back where you started, where you need physical storage.
There are more complex ways to protect your emergency kit, but if you are going to go to that length, you should be thinking about a full backup (discussed a bit later).

What does an emergency kit not do for you?

An emergency kit does not have a copy of your vault. Suppose you make a change to your vault and then realize a couple of days later that it was a bad change. Bitwarden tries to protect you by keeping deleted entries in a wastebasket and keeping old passwords in a history. But that won’t protect you from every kind of bad change you might make. A backup copy of the vault will do that for you.
An emergency kit does not have the recovery codes for all your other websites. Google, Etsy, your VPN provider, and even your phone company (the equipment lock code) all have recovery codes. And as I mentioned earlier, those made-up answers to the recovery questions need to be stored somewhere.
If you use an “authenticator app” (a TOTP token generator), an emergency kit does not have all those TOTP keys (the shared secrets that are used to generate your tokens). If your phone dies, you might lose all those secrets. (I dislike Authy, but—if you trust it—you could include its encryption key in your emergency kit. Similarly, if you use 2FAS or its equivalent, you could include all the information (cloud login data, encryption key) in your emergency kit; that would allow you to import the app’s datastore into your replacement phone.
At this point we are moving into the realm of a full backup of your credential storage.

Full Backups

I do encourage vault owners to make full backups. It’s not for beginners, but everyone should eventually move to making a full backup and updating it on a periodic basis, at least once a year. I have a guide to doing this, but you will find other good advice on this subreddit.

TL;DR

There are two threats to your vault. Beyond someone reading your secrets, you can lose access to your vault. Make an emergency kit! Think about making full backups. Do this all now, before you lose access to your vault. Once you’ve lost the keys to the kingdom, there is no getting it back.

The title is not a complete description of my opinion. Since there is a character limit for submission titles, I had to shorten the title from what I actually meant.
In season 5, there was one scene when Chozen was training the Miyagi-Fang students. Robby and Eli had a brief verbal spat. Robby listed off Hawk's mistakes (stating the mall fight, vandalizing Miyagi-Do, breaking Demetri's arm).
Demetri delivered an inspiration speech about how they are both former a** holes. This was yet another instance where Demetri was the golden boy.
It would have been so great if, after Robby called Eli out on breaking Demetri's arm, Eli had said something like;
I broke Demetri's arm, because the school fight taught me that anyone who forgoes an opportunity to break their opponents arm goes over the railing and ends up in a coma. In hindsight, I should have realized that, had I shown mercy to Demetri, he would have accepted it. No one with an I.Q. in the double digits would ever take advantage of another person's mercy.
I would have loved it if Eli had said something like that.

So I got out of film production because I was super overworked and I realized that it wasn't getting me any closer to my overarching goal of being a screenwriter. I decided to move back to Texas for a bit and get my head together, focus on my writing. cool.
Some background on me, I have an English - creative writing degree from LSU. I have never worked a writing job until this one. I graduated in 2021 and have worked in film production ever since.
I get a job with a law firm as a "demand writer." Basically, I write 20-60 page comprehensive letters that cover all the facts of the case so that the paralegals and attorneys don't have to. Then I make a powerpoint and a brochure to go with them. These can take weeks to do sometimes, and while it was fascinating and I have a pretty good salary, there are some things going on that have destroyed me. A normal demand letter is only a few pages long because the main function is to demand a settlement amount.
So there is a manager of the demand writers, and then each demand writer works under a paralegal. My paralegal was a serial procrastinator and I would have to beg and remind him constantly to not forget about when the letters need to go out. The manager has gotten in trouble several times because while she gives really good feedback, she uses it as an opportunity to insult me to my face. I don't mean like I'm being sensitive about getting criticism, I mean constantly wondering how I even have my degree, wondering if something is wrong with me mentally, wondering if I'm even literate. This wasn't in a playful way either, it was openly hostile to the point other coworkers have confronted her more than once.
So I stopped sending my work to her. I was already overwhelmed because our boss thinks that these huge letters can be written in a single afternoon and screams constantly about why writers are worthless. Any time there is a problem with a case, if anyone messes up, they blame the demand writers because it's a department full of college students and recent graduates. (we're also the only department that requires anyone to have degrees) My schedule became so heavy that I didn't even have time to have my work proof-read because our boss wanted the month of May to have a mediation very single day. I tried to get attorneys to help me, because they were also told that they need to help with proof-reading. I tried to get the legal assistant on my team. No one would do it, so I just churned out work as fast as possible. Then my boss started making me do everyones PowerPoints because I guess that's the only thing I can do right. My boss sings to the high heavens of my PowerPoints and says that I'm extremely good at research, just not writing.
Well, my paralegal got fired and manager replaced him. I immediately asked to move to a different team. Everyone but the old managenew paralegal agreed so I moved to a different team. The girl that became the new manager is great and she has been communicating with our boss about ways to help me improve. She made it clear that I am not a technical writer and how this is all new to me. Old manager has been doing reviews of cases and has basically been making a big show of how much of my work needs to be fixed and two other writers had to stop their work to help fix mine.
Every day thus far has been me being extremely careful to take everyones feedback, be more mindful of my own work, and try to improve my writing. But in the background everyone is constantly talking about how bad my work is and how many problems there are. I think the only reason I haven't been fired yet is my boss said I would be getting a second chance on this new team.
I think my complaint right now is that I understand I have been making mistakes. I understand that they need to be fixed, and everyone is having to stop what they are doing to fix it. It's embarrassing, but I just have to sit there and accept it while I quietly look for another job. But it just won't stop. I come to work and every single day, someone pulls something out and I hear another thing I've messed up and get glared at or people have whole conversations about me but will omit my name while I'm in the room.
Idk, I don't want to lose my job because it's a really good job. I'm just upset because this is how I'm learning about the mistakes I've made. The new manager wants to have sit down sessions with me but promises not to do what the old manager did. She agrees with me though, that what I'm going through isn't entirely fair because no one was reviewing anything. They were just sending work out, fully aware that it was not proof-read.
I still want to be a writer, but not a demand writer. This is just a job to pay the bills until a better one comes along, and I am certainly looking for one. But please, can a fellow writer give me some advice? Where can I go from here? I'm looking forward to improving, if I can but this just feels like I'm constantly being humiliated for how bad I am at the thing I got a degree in.
TLDR; got a job in the legal field as a demand writer. Had major problems with my manager because her version of "critique" includes blatantly insulting me (literally questioning my intelligence, calling me a bum, saying I don't deserve my degree, etc.). Everyone else was too busy or just didn't want to review my work, so it got sent out full of errors. I'm being given a second chance, but everyone is loudly complaining about how bad my work is while they fix the errors in my past work. I just don't want to do it anymore. This is not my field. Any advice on where I can go from here? Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this, especially early in their career?

It took me over 30 years to fully grasp my mother and her NBPD. It’s taken even longer to realize my hero father has truly been complicit and enabling of her abuse.
My Nsister were very close. Best friends. She had it under control for the most part, and I never minced words with her, so she usually didn’t engage in that behavior with me. I became unexpectedly pregnant (real late bloomer) and decided it was best for me to be closer to her (she had just moved cross-country). My partner and I decided that it would be best raising LO there, and she would have her aunt/uncle cousins very much engrained in her life. We were to stay there, and help her transition into her new career by watching the kids. We paid rent, and bills. This was meant to be until we found our own place, but after we got there, housing started to skyrocket, and no matter how hard we worked, we knew it just probably wasn’t going to be feasible with a newborn to afford anything there. My sister later begged us to stay (she had 24/7 child care, and this now is obvious to me as the reason why).
Welp, after about four months, my sister had some sort of internal crisis, and immediately pushed her husband of seven years out of the house. I believe she realized I could take care of everything she needed when it came to the kids, and she was the primary breadwinner, so she found no use for him anymore. After he moved out, she went on heavy drinking benders. Acting like a freshly 21 year old college student, leaving her kids with me to go out and drink all night. She used to be the best mother. So attentive, caring, and present. I watched her completely deteriorate from what she once was. She started dating a terrible person- obnoxious, alcoholic, unintelligent and rude and everything went south. She never had her kids anymore, my partner and I did. I went from being pregnant to essentially having three children at once. She refused to bathe them, help with homework, grocery shop, anything needed. Once the guilt set in for her, she would pick them up, take them on a shopping spree, convince herself that was enough and restart the cycle. She became so nasty, mean, and a horrendous liar. I suffered from horrendous PPA, and immediately sought help. She was nowhere to be found. This caused so much turmoil mainly due to the neglect to her children that I knew we needed to plan our escape. Whenever I’d discuss the possibility of moving near his family, she begged and pleaded, because what was she going to do? Who was going to help her?
My NBPD mother had me fooled for a while. She for the first time agreed with me, and said I needed to get out. My e-dad guilted me for months and months, with what would become of my nieces if I left? How could I abandon them?
Eventually the situation got so toxic, that we secretly finalized plans, and within two weeks of move date- I let her know what was happening. Wrong move. She tried to dismantle, and try to get me to engage in a war so many times. I bit my tongue and reminded myself it was almost over.
The night we packed, she set up cameras around the house, and left to drink with her boyfriend. At one point my partner and I got super frustrated with each other, and we started yelling. We were exhausted, and trying to pack as fast as we could because all signs were pointing to one last explosion. The baby was teething, and I think we just lost it with each other. My sister was baby sitting the cameras, and took recordings and sent them to my NBPD mom and e-dad. All of them started blowing up my phone asking if I needed them to come save me frkm my abusive partner. They said they heard him yelling, and that they were going to make him suffer for it. I was like wtf? 1. It was completely out of frustration and juvenile. 2. It wasn’t even slightly aggressive 3.It was so minor I didn’t even know what they were referencing. (They heard him tell me to “shut the f up”.)
Both my sister and mother were so offended that I turned down their “protection” from him, and told them that nothing was going on. My mom started blowing up his phone, his brothers phone- anyone she could yell at. She got in the car and started driving 10 hours to my sisters. I knew they were trying to get a reaction out of me, but I kept cool and my eye on the prize.
We got out, stayed in a hotel that night, and decided he was going to fly with our eleven month old (i hate flying) and I’d drive the dog and huge uhaul 13 hours- I was looking forward to the silence and decompression time. The next day around five hours into my trip is when my BPD mom started the onslaught. (As soon as my stuff was out of the house- I blocked my sister on everything). She started using my partner as a scapegoat, and fighting on my sisters behalf. She laughed at me, called us losers, and then finally got the reaction she was begging for when she threatened to call CPS for my child, because she was going to take her, and we didn’t deserve her. She said she heard him be abusive and I abandoned my sister, and don’t deserve my child anymore because of it….. I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t understand how she was in full support of my sister being a monster in general for months, and then within two days- completely championing for her. My sister has always been the GC though- I was always always the sibling that called out the toxic behavior and wasn’t scared of either of them. Truth teller? I think that’s it. Five hours into my trip, my phone stopped working shortly after my conversation with my mom ended. I had always been on a family plan I shared with my sister. She paid for that, and I paid for all the streaming apps. It all evened out. I tried placing a call, and that’s when I realized service had been stopped. I was in a giant uhaul with my car towed on the back, with my dog, in a random city- no phone, no gps, and no idea what to do. I drove around for about an hour in a huge city and finally found and ATT store, ran in, told them I had no time and just needed a new plan etc. my mother sat with my sister laughing at me before they shut my phone off. They knew I was alone.
My dad has always been my favorite person. I relate with him far more than anyone in my family- but I’m starting to realize he’s been worse than the Nsister or NBPD mother.
I hadn’t talked to any of them in about a month and a half. My dad didn’t contact me. Normally when my mom did this stuff, he would find ways to sneak talking to me. He would try to convince me to apologize and beg for it. He would agree it was her fault, but he would insist I apologize “so the family could be whole”. “Start the healing” “do you just hate your mother? You know how she is, she can’t help it” “just apologize and it will be back to normal” “if she finds out I’m talking to you she will leave me” My mother had always treated me like a mistress of my father’s rather than her daughter. I was always enemy #1, and if she caught him talking to me- it was a major act of betrayal in her eyes. She had gotten so abusive over it in the past (physically/mentally) that I understood why he had to hide it.
The last month an half has been so hard. My other sister as been distant in order to not get caught in the crossfire of my Mom. my mother spent a month at my Nsisters house coddling her, and watching her kids, and cleaning up after her. I spent weeks crying wondering why my dad hadn’t secretly reached out to even just check in about my child. Yesterday I gave in and messaged my dad. He tried to push the whole viewpoint of my mother- that they heard him yelling at me, and they needed to defend me. That I should think about leaving him. My father said my mother was still very angry and so hurt over what I said after she said she was going to take my child. He said he was going to call me once he left the house and wasn’t around her. Once on the phone, he explained he agreed with me leaving, and that my sister was really spiraling, and my mom shouldn’t be involved in the fight or picking sides/daughters. He said I was going to have to apologize. I’m not apologizing. I can’t do it this time. My daughters first birthday is coming up, and for some reason today,‘I got extremely sad over it and messaged my mother- just letting her know I was open to a conversation and would like if she could come to my daughters first birthday party no matter what her feelings are towards me. Her response was insane, ans made me feel so incredibly stupid for reaching out.
“Sorry to say but we have made other plans so we will not be able to come to her party. But we would be happy to send her gifts and stuff she needs. Just to make this very clear I will not ever be around baby’s father after having to listen to his disrespectful. Sorry arse. His father was right about one thing he is lazy as hell. His words at your shower. If baby needs anything just get in touch with your dad or send me a text. As soon as we receive a heartfelt apology we will be more than happy and joyed to come pick you and Jude up so you can spend some time with us.”
We went back and forth for a while- and she just was so hateful the entire time. I kept my cool, and just tried to tiptoe as much as I could. She kept pummeling on my partner- and then when that didn’t work, it was hat I chose his family over my own. That I was not loyal, and what does it matter if she doesn’t talk to me anymore. I kept assuring her I wasn’t abandoning her for them, and she doesn’t have to feel threatened by , and the onslaught continued. She then started defending everything my sister had done, and adding her own twists on it. I told her it was between my sister and me, and to just stop choosing sides- that she could have a relationship with both of us independently, no matter our status with each other. She didn’t care. She said well, that’s your version of the truth, and you have your new family. She kept hammering the point that no one will love my child or me as much as her. My father has a bad habit of saying that as well. She’s demonizing my partner so much through the entire conversation, and he’s so hurt by it too. He offered to apologize instead of me. He said he could go beg her and plead. It made me sick. How absolutely embarrassing. I won’t allow him to do it. I’m not subjecting him to this anymore. My family has always been good at throwing money at problems. No real emotional care, love, or support- but if you have an issue, need, or want?, they will pay for it- and that’s love to them. My sister has adapted it with her children. My mother favors that sister because of money. She’s successful- has a huge house- and my sister buys her whatever she wants when she’s around. (My parents are well off, so I’m not sure why this even matters to her). It’s always a “well I did this for you! That for you! I paid for all of these things!” Most of the time when my mother gave me gifts, it was things she could hold over my head. Once I got older and had my own money, I know she was bothered by not having that control anymore- so I’m sure watching my sister shut my phone off was a long awaited scratch to her itch.
I found out their plans for my daughters first birthday was going to my sisters house.
I cried hysterically for a few hours- and here I am. I’m used to this behavior from her, so I don’t think I’ll mourn the loss of her in a NC- but I can’t get past my dad. Thinking about how old he is getting, and how this is all a giant waste of time that I could have him spending time with my daughter, makes me physically ill. I’m so scared that I won’t be able to see him again because of my mother, and he will eventually pass. I’m sorry if this isn’t too coherent, I’ve been sobbing for hours, and I’m exhausted. My mother has made it obvious that she chooses not only my sister, but her children as well, and my dad is allowing her to drag him along for the ride. I should hate him for it, but I can’t. It destroys me to think of going NC with him or my other sister. She lives far away from all of us, and is extremely busy so doesn’t really get involved with my mom other than surface level. My mother has apologized to me one time. One time in 30+ years. I have bitten the bullet and apologize and begged her to forgive me every single time since I was a preteen for the sake of my dad. I remember there would be times he would call me crying begging me to apologize to her “to make the family whole again”.
The writings on the wall for NC, but I just can’t bring myself to enforce it with my father or my other sister. She has a bad habit of giving updates and sending photos, so I’d probably have to. I don’t want her getting stuck in the middle of it. TIA for any advice.

Quick Author's Note:
For better clarity of intent, the 'worthwhile opponent' stipulation in Lifedrinker is being changed to 'non-negligible opponent' moving forward.
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"The Gellin Empress was the catalyst for our breakthrough," a mage explained. "Tracing Lord Rob's lingering mana signature through the space between dimensions proved effective at first, yet it came with an insurmountable problem: he only attained mana after initially leaving Earth. At a certain point, there was no more of a signature for us to trace. We had found his home dimension, but finding his home world within the infinite expanses of that dimension could have taken years of aimless searching, like blind men stumbling in the dark."
He leaned forward, clearly enjoying having a captive audience. "The key, then, lay within Lord Rob's memories. Even without mana, memories have a power all their own. The Empress looked within his mind and found locations of personal importance to him. Ones that he remembers with pristine clarity. By scrying for areas within Lord Rob's dimension that matched those specific locations, we were able to narrow down the scope of our search considerably."
The mage spread his palms wide, and his voice dropped a full octave, as if he was imparting a great revelation. "The result will soon be made self-evident. You shall bear witness to the foremost magical achievement of our era: a one-way viewing window into Lord Rob's world. The first of many to come."
In respect for the man's showmanship, Rob started up a clap. Granted, he would've clapped even if the explanation was done via a mindnumbing PowerPoint presentation, because nothing in the universe could stunt his enthusiasm right now. Riardin's Ranger, the Elders, Diplomacy, and the Soul Surgeon clapped as well, although Rob was pretty sure they were just following his cues. This moment couldn't possibly hold the same gravitas for them as it did for him. They mostly were here to provide moral support and satisfy their curiosity.
While for him, this meant everything.
"Do we need the Gellin Empress here to create the window?" Rob asked. "I'd also like to thank her for the help she's given."
The mage shook his head. "I'll spare you the details, but to be succinct; she taught us how to save a mana-based copy of the necessary memories, which will allow us to attune to a subset of Earth locations. Her presence is not required. In fact, she insisted that we proceed without her, as the Gellin have gone to rest for the night."
Must be nice. I'd trade ten Levels for a consistent sleep schedule. Rob internally frowned at himself, punting the envious thoughts away. No sour grapes. If the Empress helped me see Earth again, then I hope she sleeps like a baby for the rest of her life.
"One question," Keira interjected. "In your explanation, you stated that, without the Empress' assistance, it may have taken years to discover Earth. That is hardly the weeks or months you claimed in the past."
The group of dimension mages froze, embarrassment blooming on their features. They looked to the head mage for guidance, whose veneer of showmanship was deflating like a leaky balloon. "We were perhaps...optimistic."
"By years?"
"The previous estimate I put forth was one that assumed we would develop breakthroughs as we went along." His mouth widened into a sheepish grin. "As you can see, we, um, succeeded."
Keira raised an eyebrow. "Only with the timely assistance of a Leader." Her tone was calm, yet unyielding. "Rob is too grateful to point out this contradiction, so I suppose the task falls to me. You have also told us that you should be able to 'open' the window and let Rob send a letter home within the next week – is that more unfounded optimism?"
"No." The mage straightened his posture. "Now that we have located Earth, the rest is simply a matter of refining our spells and collecting reserves of mana. We are no longer blind, nor are we fumbling in the dark, and thus our progress moving forward shall be predictable and steady. This, I swear."
After a few seconds, Keira nodded. "Then I thank you for the wonderful boon you've granted to the man I love."
From behind, Malika giggled under her breath. Rob squeezed Keira's hand, gave her a warm smile, and faced the mages. "I'm ready whenever you are."
The tent thrummed with mana as the dimension mages formed a Mage Circle with Malika. It was no different from any other time they'd done so, yet the knowledge of what they were about to accomplish heightened the tension in the air to a fever pitch. Rob's pulse quickened, his throat tightening. He'd been disemboweled by monsters, decapitated by eldritch abominations, and none of those events made him a fraction as nervous as watching the dimension mages at work.
Minutes passed. Rob forced himself to be patient. Reaching across the boundaries of space and dimensions wasn't like heading to the store to pick up a carton of milk. It involved a level of spellcasting prowess that would take Rob decades of committed study to have even the slightest chance at grasping. Frankly, the fact that it was possible at all still beggared belief.
Maybe...maybe the mages were wrong. Not lying; just wrong. They could be overeager, sharing before they were actually ready, and they'd end the circle looking contrite and ashamed.
That was okay. No biggie. Rome wasn't built in a day, or...something. He could wait–
Creak.
It was the sound of a rusted hinge, of crumpling paper, of breaking bones, and more. A combination of all the noises things made when subjected to an external force. Like reality itself was groaning under the pressure.
Creeeak.
A thin, imperceptible line appeared at eye-level, dark as the endless void. Slowly, inch-by-inch, it widened.
CREEEAK.
It had become a rectangle. Two feet wide, three feet high. With a final CREAK, reality threw in the towel. The void dissipated, as if smoke blown away by a gust of wind, revealing...
Home.
Everything was as he remembered it. The same furniture with scuffed marks of wear-and-tear. The same living room where they'd watched movies each Friday. The same kitchen with a sink perpetually filled with dirty dishes. The same tacky wallpaper that his mom refused to change, and that he secretly enjoyed.
Identical. Like a portrait had been painted straight from his memories.
A tsunami of aching nostalgia surged through him. Rob didn't realize he was extending his hand until his fingertips were already brushing against the viewing window. Its surface felt solid, and for an instant he was terrified that this really was just a painting. Something invented to give him false hope.
Then he noticed that a window had been cracked open. Not the mages' window; the window inside his house. A small breeze blew inside, jostling a curtain ever so lightly. Just enough to make it move.
"It's real." Rob's voice was hoarse. "It's my home."
No one said anything. They allowed him his silence, a gesture which he greatly appreciated. Eventually, Rob took a deep breath, clenched his hands so that they wouldn't tremble, and looked at the dimension mages. "Thank you. I owe you...so much. Even if observing from afar ended up being the limit of what you could do, just seeing my house again like this is..."
He trailed off, unable to find words that were sufficient. Thankfully, the dimension mages seemed to understand. "You are most welcome, Lord Rob." The head mage smiled. "This is far from the limit of what we can do, however. Give us time, and this window shall open."
Rob nodded, choosing not to believe them. They were probably right, but on the off chance they weren't, he didn't want to look back on this moment with bitterness. Best to assume the worst and be grateful for what he already had.
As if drawn by a gravitational pull, his eyes drifted back towards the window. It was displaying a fixed point in the center of his home. "Can you switch perspectives? I want to check other rooms." His parents were likely asleep in their bedroom at this hour. Assuming they didn't sell the house out of grief and move, that is.
"I am afraid that isn't possible. We can transpose the viewing window to other specific locations that the Empress provided, but having it 'walk around', so to speak, requires finer control than we are yet capable of."
Yet, he says. Which means that with practice, they'll be able to. Rob placated himself with that notion. This was a minor setback, and he wouldn't let it get him down.
He especially wouldn't listen to that tiny voice in the back of his head, whispering that the reason he couldn't see his parents right now was because they were–
"Got it," Rob stated, in a wooden voice. "What other locations did the Empress pick out?"
The window's perspective blurred and shifted. Rob swallowed a gasp as an extremely familiar place was displayed before him. He'd seen it many, many times, even after coming to Elatra. It used to be at the top of his nightmare rotation, only ousted from its throne when Blights started coming into play.
In front of them was a small grassy lawn, surrounded by lecture halls in the near-distance. The place that had forever altered the course of his life.
"This is where it all started." Rob pointed to an empty spot in the middle of the field. "Portal opened up. Right there. Saturated with darkness. Chains shot out, tried to grab at Jason. I pushed him out of the way, and...the rest is history."
Silence reigned once more. After a few seconds, Orn'tol stirred. The young Ranger opened his mouth, preparing to say what would undoubtedly be some platitude reassuring Rob over his noble sacrifice.
"The grass truly is green."
Rob burst out laughing. He kept going until he was short of breath, wheezing as the others looked at him with eyes full of concern. "I'm okay," he managed to cough, once the laughter had died down to snickers. "Thanks, Orn'tol. I needed that."
"You're very welcome?" Orn'tol exchanged confused glances with the rest of Riardin's Rangers. "I am unsure of what I did to assist you, yet it's good to see you in high spirits nonetheless."
"Sometimes a little silliness is just what the doctor ordered." Rob offered him a high-five, which the boy accepted with zeal. They returned their gazes to the viewing window, Rob tilting his head as he peered closer. "Hmm. That's weird."
"What do you mean?"
"There's no people. It's early evening, but college students have the worst sleeping patterns on the face of the planet. Trust me; I'm speaking from experience. Usually you'd see a dozen partygoers strung out on energy drinks racing around now."
"Perhaps this location is known as a place of danger," Keira posited. "I would certainly be hesitant to tread where a portal of darkness sprang from the aether and kidnapped a civilian."
Rob watched the viewing window for signs of life, finding none. "Could be. Parents probably pulled their kids out after what happened to me. Then either the government condemns the area, or enough money is lost that the college goes bankrupt." He snorted. "Would be the least of what it deserves, considering the tuition fees. Bloodsucking vampires."
"People on Earth drink blood?"
Normally, Rob would have played along with their confusion, but there were more important things to focus on. "Can you change this to the next location from my memories?" he asked the dimension mages. "How many are there, anyway?"
"Five in total. One moment, please."
The window's perspective blurred, shifted, and reformed. Now it was displaying a city sidewalk, its view positioned right outside the best god damn burger joint in existence. Rob didn't care what anyone else said; two greasy slabs of beef squeezed between two sesame-seed buns was the absolute pinnacle of culinary delight. So what if his palette was 'like a five-year old's?' Wasn't his fault that delicious things were delicious.
Belatedly, he realized that his memory of this restaurant had been strong enough for the Gellin Empress to choose it as a point of reference for interdimensional portal magic. That...yeah, that tracked. Aside from the burgers, he had fond memories of sitting at the outside patio with Jason and his folks, drinking Minty Fresh Phantasma and inhaling cheesy fries as they mocked his dietary preferences. Good times.
He was about to explain what this place meant to him when a human casually walked past the viewing window.
She was a normal working woman like any other. Tired eyes, a purse slung over her shoulder, and dressed for lukewarm weather. A cell phone was held in her right hand, her eyes glued to some form of social media. She strode past the window without a care in the world, visible for merely a second before disappearing from view.
To the Elatrans, it was like a horror movie jumpscare. All of them froze. Several gasped. Elder Alessia grimaced. Faelynn muttered "a world of Humans" in a hushed tone. The only exceptions were Elder Duran and the Soul Surgeon, who crept closer to get a better look, their eyes shimmering with curiosity.
In contrast, Rob let out a sigh of overwhelming relief. That bored, everyday woman was exactly what he'd needed to set him at ease. Earth hasn't completely gone to shit behind my back. People are still living their lives.
As he watched, a few more humans walked in front of the window. A middle-aged man, a young boy with his mother, and an old woman with a walking cane. The old woman pivoted straight into the burger joint, Rob internally praising her good taste.
"W-well," the head mage stuttered. He paused, cleared his throat, then started anew. "As you can see, the viewing window is imperceptible to those with low Levels of Sense Mana. Naturally, this will not be the case for a portal that can be interacted with from both sides."
"Dangerous," Meyneth commented. "I would advise that you conceal this type of spell for as long as you are able. The viewing window especially."
"Why is that?"
"If this window cannot be sensed by those with low Levels of Sense Mana, then that makes it an ideal tool for spying on non-Mages. In your haste to glimpse into the world of another dimension, you have inadvertently developed a field of magic that puts every nation in Elatra at risk of subterfuge. People have been assassinated for much less."
The mages blanched. "We are nothing more than simple researchers," the head mage protested, in a faltering voice. "Who besides a madwoman like the Dragon Queen would stoop so low as to threaten noncombatants?"
Keira averted her eyes, pointedly examining the floor.
"We can discuss matters of life and death at a later time," Duran interjected. He gestured to the viewing window with the demeanor of a child in a toy story. "There's a world of discoveries to explore! Take a look at those structures the Earth Humans have built – they resemble the buildings within Human territory, yet small differences set them apart."
Duran ooooh'd as another person walked past the viewing window. "So many humans are ambling about despite the late hour. Is this area a well-traveled location in your home city, Rob?"
"This is around the level of street traffic you should expect for early evening. If it were daytime, you'd see a hundred people per minute."
Duran aaaah'd. Before he could launch into a series of questions, Zamira beat him to it. "Pardon me if this comes across as an insult," she began, hesitantly. "But Earth Humans appear marginally...uncoordinated. It is hard for me to describe the notion, yet when I watch them move, they appear as if they're liable to fall over at any moment."
They look normal to me, Rob almost said, before remembering that Earth's normal wasn't Elatra's normal. "That's called being permanently Level 1." He shrugged. "They've all got crap stats. Except athletes, I guess."
Zamira stared at the human passerby with obvious sympathy. "My condolences."
Does Earth seem like a world of cripples to her? Rob wondered. Even Utility Class users have the option to put a couple points into Dexterity and Perception. That's not counting the natural stat boosts they gain as they grow up, either. And when combined with Vitality and healing magic, it means that people in Elatra tend to age gracefully.
Rob tried to think of the last time he'd seen an Elatran with the same frailty as that old human woman with her walking cane. The oldest person he'd met so far was the Fiend High Soulseer, and in spite of being positively ancient – and blind – the dude could get around fine. Elder Duran was having health problems, but that was only after suffering from severe Corruption poisoning for weeks on end. An incident like that would've landed an Earth human in long-term hospice care.
Actually, no, that was wrong. It would've just killed them.
"We should switch to the next location," Rob said, preempting any further questions. "There's still two more left." Maybe I can see...no. Keep your expectations in check.
He was right to do so. Rob's heart sank as the viewing window solidified once again, revealing battered, empty streets. Half the buildings had collapsed to rubble, as if visited by a wrecking crew with an axe to grind. He recognized this spot as the street leading up to his favorite movie theater on the other side of the city. There'd been good times here, as well.
Although not anymore. The theater's roof had caved in, and half the letters in its ostentatious PRIME CINEMA logo were missing. It would take years to rebuild – assuming someone was willing to invest millions of dollars into what was essentially a ghost town.
"This..." He ran his hand down his face, aware of everyone gazing at him with pity. "As you can probably infer, this isn't normal. In the past–"
Bang.
Rob practically jumped out of his skin at the abrupt sound of gunfire. At first he thought the shot had come from outside, but no, it was both too distant and too close for that. The noise also sounded different from the rifles that the Dwarven Thunder Rod wielders employed.
A series of repeated bangs swept his thoughts away. Everyone watched in astonishment as a crew of Earth military soldiers ran into view from a side street, desperately fleeing the eight-legged Blightspawn that was hot on their tails. The abomination was more of an amalgamation of flesh and limbs than anything resembling a living creature, and the way it skittered made Rob reconsider if spiders were really that bad in comparison.
"Keep firing!" one of the men commanded, his voice sounding like it was coming from the bottom of a lake. The soldiers blasted their assault rifles in a retreating offensive, peppering the abomination with a hailstorm of bullets. Their response was swift, their aim was true, and it did not matter. The Blightspawn bulldozed through the rain of bullets as if it was a light drizzle, the creature's five cavernous mouths wailing for blood and sustenance.
It was nearly upon them when an explosive rocketed in from the opposite side street, knocking the Blightspawn off its many feet. The reprieve was temporary, but it was just long enough for the soldiers to escape unharmed. Unfortunately, the creature was also mostly unharmed, sporting minor injuries despite a direct missile strike to the torso. With a chorus of screams that prickled Rob's ears, the abomination continued its chase, batting away a second missile as it resumed the chase with renewed fervor.
Then it was gone, having left the window's range of sight. Distant sounds of battle grew quieter, the gunshots and explosions becoming more faint as predator and prey ran deeper into the ruined city.
Rob closed his eyes. He said nothing for half a minute, allowing himself time to process what he'd seen.
"Okay." He opened his eyes, nodding. "This is fine."
Keira laid a hand on his shoulder, struggling with what to say. "Rob...you don't need to–"
"Hold it in? Bottle up my emotions?" A wry chuckle escaped his throat. "Honestly, I'm not as affected as I thought I'd be. The Blight dropped one too many cryptic hints for me to be surprised, anyway. At this point I'm just glad that Earth hasn't been completely overrun. Some parts of the city might be fucked up, but not all of it is."
He narrowed his eyes. "The biggest thing I'm worried about is the Blightspawn itself. You saw those weapons the humans were using, right? Think of them as substantially upgraded versions of the Thunder Rods. They should've put a real dent in a fully-grown Blight, let alone one of its spawn."
"Perhaps the creatures have gained a defensive Skill?" Duran theorized. "What we witnessed appears consistent with other damage reduction Skills such as Tough Skin or Heat Resistance. I would surmise that the Blight has learned something akin to – for example – Thunder Rod Resistance."
Rob paused. Elatra didn't have a specified 'Bullet Resistance' Skill, but that was because conventional firearms had been removed from the system for balancing purposes. The Blight wouldn't give two shits about balance. They'd cheerfully grant themselves Bullet Resistance, Missile Resistance, and whatever else tickled their fancy.
And the more Earth fought back, the more resistant they'd become.
"...This doesn't change anything," Rob eventually concluded. "Earth is a big boy planet. It'll figure something out. In the meantime, we'll clean up our problems here and be ready to help if the Blight's still around by then."
"You're sure?" Keira asked. Two words that held so much intent. 'Are you sure you'll be alright? Are you sure Elatra should remain your primary concern? Are you sure you don't want to head home the instant the dimension mages create a working portal?'
Rob gave her a thumbs-up. "I'm sure. And I know you'll worry about me regardless, but I promise I'm feeling fine."
Or maybe he was just numb, and an avalanche of emotions would bury him when he least expected it. The good news was that was a problem for future-Rob to deal with. Present-Rob had one last area to investigate.
I'd be satisfied with seeing my old bedroom intact, he thought, as the dimension mages altered the viewing window for the last time. I have strong memories there, right? It should be a candidate. Those late night Netflix binges were uh...riveting. Yeah.
The window finalized.
Rob felt the strength leave his body.
Some parts of what he was seeing were incongruous. Strange details that he'd need to figure out soon. All of it took a hard backseat to the one sight in the room that truly mattered.
Jason was alive.
He was at his house that Rob had visited so often. Alive. Surrounded by people. Alive. Chatting away. Alive. Gesturing in that exaggerated manner he often used. Alive.
Smiling.
Alive.
A dam broke. Silent tears began streaming down Rob's face. Thoughts cut out, leaving only the realization that his best friend since childhood, the sole person he'd have trusted with his life before meeting Riardin's Rangers, the man whose place he'd taken when the gods picked a new chew toy...
Was alive.
"Hey, man." Rob's smile was the most genuine it had been in a long time. "Been a while."
At that moment, almost as if he could hear him, Jason grinned.
​
--
​
Author's Note:
When I was writing Chapter 199, I was mildly annoyed that Rob didn't reach 200 Vitality on Chapter 200. That would've been hilariously coincidental. But if I had to choose between that chapter or this one for a big milestone...I think I like this better.
Happy Chapter 200, everyone. Thanks for reading and staying on this journey with me.

Anyone also cannot login to uhms?
Me: existing NUS student, continue study, not done registration part one, tried login with application number
Suddenly failed today, yesterday still work.
Tried reset password still failed.

I am currently in my third semester at college but I havent enjoyed one bit of it. My first semester I did fine but got a W because I confused the dropping deadlines. My second semester I went full suicide mode so had to drop three classes and got w on them. I didnt fully recover from the episode so I went back home for my third semester (I am an international student). I decided to take it online but I didnt do any of the work, I dont know why I dont care. I see the dead line but I just think I can cram everything but then I realize its too late. I am currently failing three courses I am taking, however one of the teachers gave me the oportunity to turn in all my assigmnets. I will drop one, calc, but that will and another W to my transcript. I am scared that having w in three semesters will fuck up my chances at getting a job because it shows a pattern of quitting.
I wanted to go to grad school but I now deem that as almost impossible.
Is there any hope for me?

I realized today that I've had this experience a couple times and I'm curious to see if anyone else can relate. I'm currently in a specialized summer program in my uni field, it's a month long program and we're 3 weeks in. We've all grown close very quickly and there's only 16 students in this group. One of my thin classmates has been continually mixing my own and 2 of the other plus size students names up. She doesn't even notice until the person she's trying to speak to doesn't respond, and there have been a couple instances before where she's had to run through the list out loud to get the right name. We don't look alike, maybe other than all of us wearing glasses.
This has happened throughout my life and it's just clicked for me now that she can't seem to seperate us because of our size. This isn't an issue when she interacts with anyone else either, just the three of us. It's one of those moments that regardless of how close you become with some people, they will always perceive you as fat first and an individual second.

When you are asked to share about your trauma, you would usually tell people the horrific events you’ve experienced.
For me, I grew up in a home with domestic violence, addiction and mental illness. When I share these stories, I think people tend to think “wow, that awful, that must have been so scary.” Which isn’t wrong, but I’ve realized that it’s not the actual moments these things happened that was the worst.
Sure, I hated every second of those traumatic moments and I wish they didn’t happen. But those moments are not what I want back the most. If I could take anything back from the universe, it would be the time wasted in flashbacks.
So many moments of my life I was completely safe, with people I loved and who loved me but I couldn’t be present with because I was thinking about the abuse. Moments I was supposed to be a 4th grader at a sleepover with my best friends but deep down I was wondering if my mom was okay back at home. Moments I was was supposed to be a teenager on a date with my biggest crush. Moments I was supposed to be a college student in my new home. I feel so disconnected to people sometimes because I just can’t focus on what’s in front of me.
At least when the events happened, I was present. I was feeling horrible emotions, but they were appropriate for the situation. I hate how I’ve spent so much of my life in the past, and the worst parts of it. Stuck forever feeling the fear I felt when the threat is no longer there.
This is why I am on my healing journey. I need to take back my life. I want to be live in the moment, the only thing I can control.

Hello, I’m a 21 year old female college student. About 8 months ago I left my grocery store part time job and started works at 4 pm to 12 am full time job as an accessioner at a pathology lab. I honestly hate the hours, and I realize that I’m getting paid less than my part time job that I have. I would only need to work 32 hours at my part time job and I would get paid more than my full time job. This upcoming semester of college I would need to work part time blc I have class on two days that I usually work in my full time job. We are only open Monday through Friday at my full time job. Does it make sense to go back to my part time job or should I stay at my full time job even though I hate the hours and I’m going to get paid less. ( I can’t change to a morning shift blc that doesn’t exist at my job) I need advice, please help.

TLDR: I fucked myself mentally and financially for years, and now it’s too late to recover from the damage I’ve caused.
So I’ve always being mildly irresponsible with money, never had a huge savings but I have always worked hard and have made sure my bills were paid. I would periodically use harder drugs on the weekends such as coke/meth and excessively drink nearly every weekend… but I still made sure my bills were paid.
Well in April of 2020 my girlfriend cheated on me consistently for a couple months and I pretended like I believed her lies because I didn’t want to be alone and hoped we could still work it out but unfortunately trying to be hopeful I would be treated with some dignity and respect but obviously I was too nice and something snapped within me, I leaned into drinking and drugs heavily for nearly two years.
During these two years I slowly stopped paying for my credit cards in favor of making sure I had money for drugs, then it was my student loans, then I began barely paying my insurance for my vehicle on time every month. Finally I began missing months on rent, I had a great track record of always paying on time for nearly 6 years though so I have been given plenty of leeway… which has been my downfall. My rent is only $450 and I currently owe my landlord over $3000 and my credit is shit so I have absolutely no way to pay it.
So obviously I need to save every penny I can right? That would be the logical conclusion, but it was like I lost every bit of self control I ever had when I sobered up from hard drugs and alcohol. I started taking kratom to help keep me from being tempted to drink or take drugs, not realizing the physical addiction that comes along with it. So that I’m top of my nicotine addiction eats a huge hole into my income, for the cherry on top I got a cash advance app and am currently in a vicious cycle of using that app to catch up on bills so when my paycheck does finally come in the app immediately takes away 90% of my check leaving me with less than $100 in my account.. thus leaving me needing to use the cash advance once again to even get basic necessities for the week.
I became so depressed, then I happen to run into someone who sells adderall and began buying that with any extra money I had because it finally made me feel somewhat happy for a short period of time. That addiction continued for nearly a year, and have finally within the last few months kicked my amphetamine addiction but it honestly feels like it’s too little too late. I don’t make much money and when my ex-girlfriend left she stuck me with three dogs to take care of so my options for moving and trying to find something else in my small town are very limited and she has been very little help with helping rehome them.
My A/C has been out for over 6 months because I’ve been behind on rent and did not want to draw attention to it.. and the entire house smells like dog which I wanted to find a way to fix before anyone came here to do anything.
Very few options for me after destroying myself mentally and my life as a whole, I know this situation is beyond help without someone stepping in to fix it and I can’t in good conscience allow myself to be a burden on anyone when I allowed my life to fall apart.
So I’m not really looking for advice but I just needed to get this off my chest in case I don’t get the chance, no one in my life knows even 10% of the issues I have brought on myself and it is a burden holding all this information in. I’m sure hardly anyone will read this long ass post but I’m hoping getting the words out of my head and written down will give me some comfort.
If you read this far I sure hope this makes you feel better about your mistakes in life, my mid 20’s have been a nearly 5/6 year mistake consistently to try to find some form of artificial happiness. If anyone is going through something similar I hope this post makes you quit in time to still salvage your life, looking at yourself in the mirror and being disgusted with who you are as a person no matter how good you try to be to others is one of the worst feelings I’ve ever felt.
Appreciate having this subreddit to get it off my chest, hope you all have a great life. If anyone has a Hail Mary for me to try I am open to anything. Thank you all.

BACKGROUND
Long story short I spent 8 years on the West Coast holding increasingly important positions in the energy industry, but I hated it with every fiber of my being. I started taking nursing prerequisite courses in January of 2020. Family trauma happened. I moved home to Texas to be closer to my family, quit my job (was making ~$130k with bonus), and took the plunge and went to back to school for nursing at 31. I am half way done with an accelerated BSN program and I have a 4.0 GPA. I love it so much despite it being very difficult. I have externship currently and I have an ICU internship lined up for my final semester, which is basically a guaranteed new grad job.
I currently live with my mom and brother. We are remodeling our house so we are in an apartment for a bit. Very tight quarters but thankful to be with them. Boyfriend just successfully made a big career move and is now a superintendent for an important and well respected organization in town making $60k annually with a 8% bonus. Very proud of him and very excited for our future - we are talking about getting engaged in the next year. He is getting an apartment in the next couple months after living at home with his family due to some major family health issues he has been helping out with so you will see some of the apartment search start to happen in this diary!
Currently boyfriend and I split going out expenses pretty much down the line, but with this new job we had a discussion last week about how he will pay for the majority of our going out costs moving forward once he gets his first paycheck this month until I start working full time again in January!
Previous money diary from August 2022 here.
ASSETS (comparing last money diary to now):
​

	August 2022	June 2023	Difference
401k	$156,400	$158,600	$2,200
Roth IRA	$68,000	$68,500	(500)
Saving's account	$41,001.43	$26,572.63	($14,428.81)
Checking Account	$3,024.58	$915.41	($2,109)
HSA	$8,800	$7,100	($1,700)
Brokerage	$440	$444	$4
UGMA	$85,000	$84,000	($1,000)
Pension	forgot to include	$27,000	N/A

NET WORTH: $373k
**I don’t carry any credit card debt / no student loan debt / no equity in any kind of home. I was lucky enough to be in a position where I saved up over $40k cash to pay for living expenses when in school. My UGMA account will be used as part of a down payment for a house in the next couple years. My current BSN degree is being covered through family. Also, trying to figure out what to do with my pension - depending how finances go the next 8 months I am in school / if I have any emergencies (I have 2 senior pets) I could cash part of it out or completely roll it over into an IRA.
INCOME
Income Progression: I worked in the energy industry for 8 years; my starting salary was $35,000.
I worked in the Seattle area starting out at $35k in 2014. Moved to a new job in 2016 for $65k and then another new job in 2018 for $85k +12% bonus. Got up to $104k + 20% bonus before I quit. Also worked as a CNA on the weekends for about 6 months for $15 an hour during COVID to make sure I really wanted to go to nursing school.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: It varies but the average so far this year it is $535. I have an incredibly flexible externship at a hospital very close to where I live where my director literally just lets me show up whenever I want to work. I make $17 an hour. I met a couple incredible mentors but I think I am going to quit soon since it just won’t be feasible to work this semester and I already have my ICU internship lined up for September. Trying to be easier on myself and put myself first and I feel very lucky that I don’t need to work. Don’t get me wrong the extra money is SO NICE but I want to concentrate on school, myself, family, partner, and friends. Work on top of an accelerated nursing program is too much. I am actually the only one working in my cohort currently.
Any Other Monthly Income Here: I live with my mom right now and she pays for most of the groceries, utilities, etc. I feel incredibly privileged and lucky that I can live with her and that she is able to support me in this way while I transition careers. I do lots for her to support her such as chores, errands, paying for big Costco runs, etc. My boyfriend also helps out with pet expenses and other things I want / need.
MONTHLY EXPENSES

• Rent: $400 to my mom for a very discounted rate at our current apartment. I don’t pay rent when we are at the house. I will not be paying rent when I semi-move in with my boyfriend in the next couple months. Our goal is to get our own luxury apartment next year close to both of our places of employment after a year lease at a cheaper place. Between now and then I’ll split my time with him and my mom.
• Cellphone: $15 (on family plan & I just pay for additional data)
• Spotify: $5.40 (student plan)
• iCloud: $2.99
• Prime: $8.11
• Gym membership: $20
• Regular therapy: $5 a session and I go biweekly
• Health insurance: $122.54 monthly
• Costco: $60 annually

I allocate the following to my biggest expense categories monthly:

• Gas: $120
• Groceries: $300
• Eating out: $400
• Pet expenses: $200
• Other discretionary spending: $400

WEDNESDAY - DAY 1
8:45: I slept 10 hours last night and it was glorious. I worked a 12 hour shift at the hospital yesterday and our patient acuity was very high.
9:30: Make a coffee and walk and feed my pup. I walk over to the pool for a morning swim. I love a quiet morning swim so much.
11:30: I had a nice 500 yd swim, drank a Premier Protein shake & ate overnight oats with blueberries for breakfast, had a relaxing shower, and started some laundry. Feeling anxious about everything I have on my plate currently. Also I feel hungover from work yesterday. I was going to work another 12 hour shift tomorrow but now I don’t know if I can handle it with school also starting on Friday and a very busy social weekend coming up. Luckily, my director literally lets me show up whenever I want so I may do 7 or 8 hours tomorrow instead of a full 12. Try to table my feelings to discuss in therapy this afternoon.
11:40: Sit down to finish some online orientation for my internship that is coming up my final semester.
13:03: Orientation stuff only took about 20 minutes thank god. I ran to the grocery store and grab a 4 pack of watermelon Celsius, frozen veggies, Eggo waffles, tea bags, string cheese, coffee filters, Wheat Thins, and lean ground beef ($37.01). Head up to the rooftop lounge at the apartment complex to FaceTime a friend that lives across the country since there is zero privacy in the apartment.
14:15: Get off FaceTime, work on some more laundry, and head out to therapy.
16:15: Good, productive, fun, and validating therapy session and I make it over to my friend’s condo to check on her kitties. I had set up a reoccurring biweekly therapy appointment now that I know my school schedule for the upcoming semester too. We talked about money fixation and anxiety and trying to let that go. We agree that I should sleep in a bit tomorrow, walk my dog, go for a swim, and then go to work. I don’t ~need~ the money so working 12 hours vs 7 or 8 is not an issue. My mental health is more important. Also the work hangover from yesterday is real.
17:00: Boyfriend comes over after work and jumps in the shower while I’m a couch potato (Disclaimer: he’s friends with my friend too and she’s 100% comfortable with him hanging out too.) We relax and hang with the kitties and catch up on our days.
18:45: We head to dinner. We grab burritos at one of our favorite local spots and I pay ($25.88). We look at houses for fun on Zillow and discuss what apartments we want to tour in the next couple weeks.
20:00: I make it home and have a long talk with my mom about her friend who ended up in the hospital today with a compound fracture. Long story short I’ll need to stay up until midnight to hand off the house keys, garage door opener, etc. to a friend who is driving into town that can take care of her dog. Her dog is a pit bull that is vicious to strangers so no one else can go over to the house other than this friend who pet sits and knows the dog.
23:30: The friend makes it and we hand him the keys and everything he needs. I had spent the evening tidying up and meal prepping and looking at more apartments. It’s amazing to me how much time goes into keeping a clean and tidy home.
12:08: I spent a half hour setting up my June budget and then pass out.
TOTAL: $62.89
THURSDAY - DAY 2
9:05: I finally wake up to a bunch of texts from multiple different friends / friend groups. Ugh. I’m just feeling really anxious about school starting tomorrow, my mom being very distraught over her colleague / friend, working today, and a busy weekend coming up. I make some coffee and walk my pup.
9:33: I call my mom while feeding my pup breakfast and tell her how I’m feeling and we both agreed I ran around too much last semester and I told her I am setting firm boundaries with myself to basically not do anything social during the school week once clinical start (Monday - Thursday) unless it’s like a super casual dinner and I truly have the capacity for it. I burned myself out at the end of last semester and spent weeks putting the pieces back together.
9:55: I make another cup of coffee and take myself for a morning swim. It brings me so much joy and grounds me. I swim 500 yards and then jump into the shower, throw my scrubs on, kiss my pup goodbye and head to the hospital. I drink a chocolate Primer Protein shake and call my friend L on the way to hear how her trip has been going so far. It was nice to catch up even though we saw each other over the weekend lol.
10:54: Ate my overnight oats made with half and half and some blueberries, clocked in, and headed out to the floor. Immediately get asked to be a sitter which literally never happens. Thank you universe. Feeling a little less anxious now that I’m here and feeling thankful for the little bit of extra money I’m making and being here for my community.
14:04: Maybe not thank you universe - the patient slept for a while then got extremely combative and was trying to punch me. I switch off with a coworker and head to the break room to eat a bowl I made with frozen veggies + rotisserie chicken from Costco + cheddar cheese on top.
19:09: I finally clock out. I had a snack of 2 rice cakes and some almonds at one point. Rest of work was wild (i.e. a psychotic patient that pulled out his IV and was throwing things everywhere, someone screaming in pain for hours nonstop, etc.) and had me questioning what I am doing making this career change. I am tired.
19:49: I make it home after swinging by L’s to check on her kitties. Jump in the shower. My mom has dinner ready and I scarf down this gorgeous basil, mozzarella, peppers, tomatoes, avocados, and olive salad + a couple Trader Joe’s dolmas + a couple pieces of fresh bread. Delicious. I force myself to get my food and my school bag ready for tomorrow and lay my scrubs out before I crawl into bed a little after 9.
TOTAL: $0
FRIDAY - DAY 3
06:22: Alarm goes off and I roll out of bed and take my pup for a nice walk. Give him breakfast / shower / throw on my scrubs / pack my lunch / give the pup a big kiss goodbye and I am out the door a little after 7:00.
07:47: I get to school and I am NOT feeling it lol. I stopped at Costco for gas on my way ($20.67) and I also swung by a very Texas niche store that sells all kinds of beef jerky my brother really likes to grab some for his birthday coming up ($17.98).
10:00: Class is boring - it’s tough getting back into it with an 8 hour cardiac lecture. It’s good to see my friends but struggle is real. I run into my favorite professor and she makes my morning. I tell her all about my upcoming internship and my boyfriend’s new job and she was stoked and told me to “lock him down” hahaha. I also make 2 phone calls to apartment complexes we are interested in cause my boyfriend doesn’t get great reception at work during business hours. One place doesn’t have any current availability but the lady was so nice and will be sending me a virtual tour later today. Schedule another tour on Monday afternoon.
11:30: We break for lunch and I eat the same thing as yesterday - rotisserie chicken + frozen veggies + cheddar cheese.
12:30: Spend the afternoon in class completely unable to concentrate. The professor is throwing ECG rhythms around left and right. 8 hours of ECG lecture is NOT a productive way to learn the material. I work on a couple study guides during class cause I cannot.
3:30: We get out a little early and I rush to meet my mom for a walk through of the house. I follow her back to her office because I sent a big Chewy order there. Pick up the box along with a Diet Coke, order us Cava for dinner, pick up Cava, check on my friends cats on my way home real quick, and then have a shower and relax. Mom pays for Cava and I thank her multiple times.
7:00: We eat dinner all together when everyone is eventually home (harissa avocado bowl for me!) and then my boyfriend calls right when I head out to walk my dog. Perfect. I miss him and have been having anxiety around our new schedules. We have a good 30 minute chat about our days before I spend the evening basically doing nothing. I chat with my family and mess around on my phone. Text boyfriend about different apartments.
22:44: Bed time after I brush and floss my teeth. I’m zonked from the week.
TOTAL: $38.65
SATURDAY - DAY 4
08:30: I’m awake! Did not sleep well at all cause thunderstorms. My pup is deathly afraid and will not stop shaking for hours so I end up sleeping on the couch on and off. We were up and down all night but somehow I feel okay. We go for a quick walk, feed him, and start a load of whites in the washer.
09:08: I have a shower, and then I head out to get my family coffee from one of our favorite spots.
10:45: Make it back home with 2 cold brews for my brother and I and a latte for mom. I also picked up 5 breakfast tacos and a German chocolate cake for Sunday dinner tomorrow ($56.24). I eat a bean and cheese taco and a potato and egg taco, start some laundry, and put air in my tires with my home compressor since my low air light has been on in my car for an embarrassing amount of time. Brother needs air in his tires too so turns into a production lol.
12:18: Spent a couple hours putzing around dealing with the tires and more laundry and packing a bag for tonight. We are headed to the lake for a friend’s bday party and I have no clue what I want to wear so I pack a lot of options and clothes for church tomorrow morning too. Now it’s time to drive around for a little bit and check out some potential apartments and do a small Target run.
14:02: I make it home from apartment cruising and my Target run. I bought a 3 subject notebook, tire pressure gauge with valve caps included, two bags of frozen veggies, mini coke zeros, and a bag of Lesser Evil popcorn ($21.50). I was so tempted to stop for lunch on my way home but lines were long everywhere so I made myself some cheesy eggs + 2 Eggo waffles when I got home. Put the valve cap on my tire that is missing one.
14:36: Make it to L’s condo and clean up after the cats and start the Roomba. Boyfriend texts that he is out of work and on his way over! He’s been up since 4 am this morning for work and I am feeling some type of way with everything on my plate / anxiety so we will see how long we make it tonight lol.
15:30: S is showered and we are out the door!
16:30: We make it to the rental, change into our bathing suits, and walk down to the river.
19:00: We hang out in the river for a good 2.5 hours. It was a good time - nice to chat with my school friends and their partners. Boyfriend and I head out before the real partying starts lol.
20:00: We eat dinner at this cute Tex Mex place. Boyfriend has some kind of alcoholic mixed drink and we share a fajita for 2 plate. Boyfriend pays - it was $70.56 with tip. I drive us back because he does not like to drive even after one drink which I am 100% here for. We are so tired lol.
21:15: Make it back to L’s condo and we take a hot shower and get into bed in the guest bedroom. It takes forever for us to both fall asleep.
TOTAL: $77.74
SUNDAY - DAY 5
6:50: Oh boy neither of us slept well. There was another thunderstorm. One of the cats was yowling nonstop outside our door. The ceiling fan was clanking on and off. The bed was way too soft. Up and down again all night for a second night in a row for me lol.
8:11: I’m showered and we are both dressed and we head out to one of our favorite taquerias for breakfast. I get 2 bean and cheese tacos and one machacado + egg taco. Boyfriend also gets 3 tacos and we both get coffee. We sit and chat for a while until it was time to go to church. I pay on the way out ($22.98 with tip).
11:40: After an hour of church and an hour meeting for a committee I’m on - I’m wiped out. Still have a house walk through to do with my family and boyfriend so I head over there and we are there for about an hour.
13:10: Finally made it home, walked my pup, and made myself a late lunch of Dave’s Killer bread toast + peanut butter + banana.
13:54: A girlfriend calls and asks if I want to get a pedicure this afternoon. We decide to get dinner together on Thursday instead. I’m actually very touched she called me because we are friends through another friend and normally don’t get together just the two of us. I’m really happy she reached out. I also invite one of my friends from school - I have been wanting them to meet for a while.
14:30: Nap timeeeee! I knock out for an hour then realize how thirsty I am and how badly I need to get out of the apartment. I get up, take the pup for a spin with my brother, and head to Sonic to get a large diet cherry limeade and then head to L’s condo to check on the kitties and chill ($3.34).
18:00: I spent a couple hours chilling on the internet - working on my google calendar, school organization, church emails, reviewing some apartments we may drive by tomorrow, and I download the remaining episodes of season 1 of Nurse Jackie to watch tonight. I had bought the complete first season over a month ago and still haven’t watched it all lol. That’s how little I watch tv.
20:00: We had bibimbap for dinner and German chocolate cake for dessert. Delicious. I clean up the dishes and do more laundry because that’s my life between school, work, working out, having 2 hairy pets, etc. Unpack my bags from the river day and sleepover last night too. Chat with my family.
22:00: Crawl into bed and watch some Nurse Jackie before passing out.
TOTAL: $26.32
MONDAY - DAY 6
7:33: I slept better but still tossed and turned. Still just anxious with everything going on, especially the start of another intense semester.
8:47: Pup is fed and walked. I open the windows because it is 68 degrees which is unheard of in June in south Texas.
10:06: I ended up doing a deep clean of my room hahah. Wiped down and vacuumed every surface. So much hair. My pup is shedding so bad. I change my bedding and toss my comforter in the wash. Thank goodness I have 2 sets of sheets now. I had only 1 for the longest time lol. I take a break and eat some Greek yogurt + pecans + banana + drizzle of honey.
11:03: I vacuumed the common areas in the apartment, took a long shower, and I’m dressed and ready for my boyfriend to pick me up. I felt like being cute today so I put on this new leather skirt from Alice + Olivia my boyfriend got me as a present that I haven’t worn yet + a white crop top + my cheetah old skool Vans. I’m so tired though lololol. This is one of the only Mondays we both have off for the foreseeable future so I am gonna rally and make the most of it!
11:15: Boyfriend is so tired too bahah. We go grab coffees at this cute little coffee shop I’ve been wanting to check out. I get a cortado. Boyfriend gets an iced caramel almond milk latte and I treat ($11.82 with tip). We sit and chill and map out what apartments we want to check out today.
12:30: Walk across the street to grab Tex Mex for lunch at a pretty famous place in town. I get the enchilada plate and boyfriend gets a chicken quesadilla plate. He pays and it is $27.89 with tip.
1:30: Go for our first apartment tour of the day and it is depressing. We drive around and check out the other apartments we are I interested in and then go on one more tour at a place that we are really impressed by. It’s $1.3k or so for a 500 sq ft one bedroom and that’s a stretch. Ideally he wants the base rent to be $1,000 or less which is quite doable. Yet again - south Texas prices for the win. He is looking at older buildings, but they are well kept up and in good neighborhoods. They are not in the hottest places to be in town, but definitely still nice.
16:00: We go back to L’s condo and chill and take care of the kitties. Discuss the apartments and ask my brother if he wants to get dinner with us and he agrees.
18:00: We head back to my apartment, pick up my brother, and head to dinner. We order a large caesar salad, an arugula and sausage pizza, and a mushroom and pepperoni pizza. This spot does $10 two topping pizzas on Monday and it slaps. I treat my boyfriend and brother to dinner ($48.01 with tip).
20:00: Home and boyfriend walks my pup with me. Brother makes us both tea and we have a nice cup of tea and chat until boyfriend heads home. I put together my breakfast and lunch tomorrow and then lay down to chill and have some quiet time.
22:30: Bed time! First day of critical care didactic is tomorrow and I am feeling mostly excited.
TOTAL: $59.82
TUESDAY - DAY 7
6:22: My alarm goes off and wakes me from a deep sleep. I finally slept a good 8 hours though!
7:10: I am showered and throw on some black Lululemon Align leggings and a swiftly tech tee. I was gonna wear real pants but screw that haha. I am really dragging this morning.
7:50: Make it to school and lecture starts at 8. Honestly - that lecture could have been given in 45 minutes but we spent the first 2 hours simply going over the schedule and clarifying assignments since everything is such a disorganized hot mess at the beginning of the semester.
10:05: We take a break and call a fellow church congregation member to see if we want to meet today to tour an organization that supports people immigrating. We are debating if we want to allocate church donation funds to them. We agree to meet at the location at 1:30.
12:41: We are done with class and I stayed a bit after to start making my study guide for our first test even though it isn’t for 5 weeks. I realize the time and quickly pack up and go heat up my lunch. Chat with an MSN student who I had met in orientation for my internship a couple weeks ago and he expressed his frustration about how the start of this semester is rough for him too.
2:38: We finish our tour and we are very impressed at the clean and organized operation. We agree to each write our own follow up email to the rest of the group before the end of the day supplying the church donating.
3:30: I make some jasmine tea and have some quiet time when I get home before starting on some dosage calculation problems that are due on Friday.
5:45: I end up spending almost 2.5 hours on homework - dosage calculations, an article summary, and start on a medication sheet. Ouch. I lay down for 20 minutes, take my pup out, and then head out to meet my friend for dinner at Cava.
6:30: I get the lemon chicken bowl and pita chips ($13.69) and we sit and chat for a 1.5 hours. We just saw each other a couple weeks ago, but so much to catch up on.
20:00: We agree to go on a double date in the next couple weeks and I head home. I walk my pup with my mom and brother, pack my gym bag and my food for tomorrow, write my follow up emails from today’s visit to the church committee, and relax in bed.
TOTAL: $13.69
TALLY OF DAILY EXPENSES:

• Food + Drink: $240.36
• Fun / Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $0
• Clothes + Beauty: $0
• Transport: $30.67
• Other: $17.98

TOTAL EXPENSES: $279.11
REFLECTION
I spent quite a bit on going out to eat this week with my boyfriend, family, and friends. It was the end of my school break and boyfriend is transitioning to a new job so we were a bit out of whack with spending on food. Usually we eat at home with our families more, but it was nice to go out and enjoy ourselves too. It was a super busy week for me too - which is the norm lately. I have a great community and social life here compared to the West Coast and I do not take that for granted. Trying to make myself more of a priority so I don’t burn out again, which is difficult for me.

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does anybody else experience extreme pregnancy anxiety? i'm on the pill and use it perfectly, i've taken it for two years and have never missed a single pill, and yet i still ask my boyfriend to pull out every time because the thought of the 1% chance of becoming pregnant makes me so anxious. part of this is also because i'm a college student and i'm in no position to be having a baby, but i know that my boyfriend doesn't see the point in pulling out and a lot of people on this sub seem to feel the same way -- i realize that i'm 'protected' from pregnancy since i take the pill perfectly, but i still never feel fully protected. does anybody else experience this/have any words of wisdom for me?

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