Hi. I am not a member of shambhala and it hasn’t been apart of my life except for my mother’s extreme dedication. She’s the highest ranked teacher in the state and took her vows when I was in middle of conformation (we were Catholic and my mom was even a Catholic nun for 8 years). I learned about the sakyong’s behavior from my mom when it came to a head and she was very upset and was counseling several upset members. I assumed he left shambhala and my mom stayed with shambhala and wouldn’t follow a guru who abused his power and people. I just learned her trip to Nepal was for the sakyong’s daughter and he is still her guru and she distancing herself from shambhala. She made a lot of excuses for why she didn’t tell me. I confronted her today because while I’m not spiritual I am questioning her values and I don’t respect her following a guru who has abused power in anyway. I did my reading and she asked “where did you hear that from? Reddit?” So thank bc I didn’t know this could be a source of guidance. I am really struggling with her decision to support him. She wouldn’t say how much money she paid to be in Nepal (fees to him, not her travel costs). She said she hears me and other “pro-sakyong” ppl’s families also have issues. I don’t really know what to do about this but I am concerned he is still her guru.

So I found the website called the real batman chronology project and it lists references and flashbacks as well. Can I skip the references and flashbacks and only read the main comics? Do the references and flashbacks help the story or are they just additional? Thanks.

Hi, I’ve read spiderman comics for years now and I recently finished reading superior spiderman and got into the Stan Lee and Steve Ditko run; my goal was to read the entire Amazing Spiderman series but as you all know it’s gigantic and it can get boring at times (I’ve only read all the way to #42), so I need some help finding which numbers I should read and which ones I can definitely skip, also sorry if I didn’t explain myself right, english isn’t my first language. 😁

I have reason to believe that my mom thinks she has the exaggerated swag of a black teenager.

• She hates racism (I think it’s based gigachad)
• Her brother is black!
• Her step-dad is black
• She likes 90s hip-hop!

Help!!!!

Hi, I’ve read spiderman comics for years now and I recently finished reading superior spiderman and got into the Stan Lee and Steve Ditko run; my goal was to read the entire Amazing Spiderman series but as you all know it’s gigantic and it can get boring at times (I’ve only read all the way to #42), so I need some help finding which numbers I should read and which ones I can definitely skip, also sorry if I didn’t explain myself right, english isn’t my first language. 😁

i had a convo about names with my parents and my dad said that i could change name if i don't like the one they gave me as long as i'm happier. i might even be able to change it officially with his help :D
at evening i said to my mom the name i wanted to be called by and she didn't say anything bad (i didn't except her to be this supportive knowing that i'm her only child that has a name that comes from her country), she even said to me to not respond to her if she uses the wrong name. unfortunately she's a little bit "clumsy" and kinda said it to my dad on phone even tho i wanted to tell him tomorrow.
just so you know, i didn't came out to them yet, i just asked them to use my actual name instead of my deadname (i didn't phrase it that way but you get it), this makes me pretty much positive to come out to them.

This is a new account that I am trying to use, sorry. This happened many weeks ago, and only today did I find out she is carrying a little bit of a grudge. I am 33m, my wife is 32f, MIL is 68f.
Okay, a bit of background: my MIL is not some horrible hellion from whatever weird place they spawn terrible mothers in law. She's generally kind to me. We come from different cultural backgrounds - I am from a liberal coastal city, she is from The Heartland - but it's fine, usually.
The context for this story is that she, by her own admission, wanted to be The Matriarch at this point in her life. She wanted her two kids to have grandkids and live down the street and she wanted to be the undisputed head of an extended family. Instead, her two kids are child-free, her husband divorced her, and she raised a headstrong daughter who married a guy (me) who's not particularly good at taking orders. I promise I'm not a jerk.
We went to visit in late March for a long weekend. Everything was a Normal Day. I woke up, ate lunch, and she was making us a surprise dinner that she promised I'd like, which should be done around 6:00. Everything okay thus far. At 2:30(ish?) I realized I didn't eat enough lunch, and I have always had full access to her pantry, so I went to find something to tide me over. And that's when it started: she "didn't want me to ruin my dinner."
I know my body and I know I'd be grumpy waiting 3h30m for dinner, so I promised I wouldn't ruin my dinner. And she kept on me, she said "no, I'm serious, you're gonna like it". I agreed that I would like it, told her that I was hungry now, and kept walking. She told me that I was ruining dinner. I said I was really hungry. She flatly told me not to eat anything from HER pantry.
(my wife, who does not suffer fools, often folds when it comes to her mom, because she doesn't want to disturb the peace. I don't blame her for not intervening on my behalf.)
Finally I just told her "fine" and I walked a mile to the gas station to get some snacks. Dinner was fine - she was kinda cool to me, but I figured she was just working through her feelings, because we all have feelings.
But she told my wife today that she's still "hurt" by what I did. My wife, to her credit, didn't ASK me to apologize to my MIL, but did say it would help soothe feelings. But I don't think I did anything wrong. AITA?

So I need some advice on how to address this… My daughter who is 16 going on 17 next month has been dating this individual for about 3+ years and “hes” very polite and a nice kid he also moved into our home after he got kicked out of his own home in which he lived in another town 15 min away from where we live. Fast forward to now.. Recently my mom instincts have kicked in and noticed some things were off like for one he has breast and at first I told myself to ignore it because some guys do produce breast tissue and I didn’t want to ask him out of making him feel embarrassed as well as myself. Next I noticed the family portrait he has in my daughters room and he’s not in that family photo but there is a young girl who resembles him in that photo. There is also the situation of him not transferring schools and when I offered to help him get his paperwork he brushed it off and said he will get it taken care of himself. So in a school ID he had of that young girl who looked like him, had a first and last name lets say Carlee. So my daughters boyfriend did get back in touch with family but we still have not meet them yet because of the “language barrier”. I seen a necklace my daughter had with that name Carlee and it has made my suspicions FACTS and right now I don’t know how to address the situation. I’m not in no way against my daughter being Bi or Gay and she knows that because my oldest daughter was exploring in her early teens as to figure out if she was gay or bi and she was very open to me about it and as for her father he’s not against it but he don’t like it. I just need some advice on how to address this situation and if you ever been in a similar situation how did you handle it. (Also I forgot to mention my youngest daughters BF did introduce himself as a male with a boys name and all this time to now we’ve known him as a boy.)

so i dont really know how reddit works i just need advice with what i should do. so growing up me and my mom had a good relationship. i think? we were living with someone she was on and off with, lets call him "pat". and truthfully? yes, there was a lot of...arguments!.. she would throw something he would sometimes throw things but they would always throw the same things yknow? like candles, glass, TV's, forks, remotes, etc. so growing up me and my mom always counted on eachother? she would jump infront of a train for me. i know that. but when we moved away from him we struggled. my mom went down this rabbit hole..she thought everyone was a peeping tom or that everyone was against her and that someone was always watching us. so gradually as we got settled in where we were staying (for free) she started taking her anger out by yelling at me, since "pat" wasnt there. screaming yelling. thankfully no throwing but she definitally knew how to scream. even if it was hurtful. she refuses to work because she swears she already has a job with military???? which i can confirm; she does not. she claims that she owns a buisness and that shes been adopted by a state???? and that were filthy rich! and that the people around her keep hacking and stealing her identity so she never gets any money. shed claimed "pat" was always out to do "things" with me. well! about a year where we're staying and she meets someone. she loves him so soooo much that we'd have arguments about him. if i said i was uncomfy around him she wouldnt care. instead she yell, scream, cry, slam things. it sometimes go so bad that if i said "i dont like him" shed scream in my face saying my dad doesnt love me. or "youre just like your dad!' or "you really are the devil" or, my personal favorite! "youre just like your dad. you never want me to be happy". annyways. a lot of times she'd go to his place and stay the night on a school night (she drove me to school). if it wasnt obvious by the "she refuses to get a job" we werent that well off. we didnt have a lot of food and i had'nt gone to the doctors in...a while. so it felt like she was leaving to go have a different life with a man who never actually cared about her? i was very scared to stay alone in the house so if i called her crying she'd come back screaming at me. so anyway. finally, the moment came. we got kicked out! my mom had no money but we had friends and a car. so we slept at some places back and forth for a bit. on maybe the 5th day i started getting worried and scared. so i called my father during fall break. and made plans to go! i packed and went and i had fun. kind of? i ended up staying and having an ok fresh start. although having my dads girlfriend take some things from me wasnt so fun. she was easy to talk to. it was wel. i was getting to know my family and everything i always hoped for. but me and my moms relationship got worse. constant calls and messages of her arguing with me. i never back talked her. its what i was used too. until my sister pointed out something was wrong. i started paying attention to what my mom was saying and started getting more..concerned? but also tired. it wasnt until christmas i got a call from my mom saying she'd be more than happy to call cps or put me up for "adoption to someone in the family" she never said "to someone in the family" but claims she did so lets just go with that. after that phone call i went to sleep. and i woke up to my other sister calling me at 9 am. i wasnt ready to wake up so i ignored it. welp. bad idea. my sister messaged me and start arguing with me for how i talk to our mom saying things like i was bratty and spoiled and that my last name was "bound to kick in" well after that i blocked my sister and started getting more mad??? i didnt want to keep taking what my mom kept saying to me. i got more of an attitude and actually started back talking her more. which probably wasnt the right thing but i was tired of it yknow? she would belittle me or threaten to hurt herself or turn my words against me. so here i am now. my mom has no job, cant understand that she isnt rich. i know theres something wrong and she needs help vut she never accepts it because whoever tells her she needs help is the bad guy in a master plan trying to kill her. well ive been having a hard time where i am now and want to move back with my mom. (she doesnt have a house either btw) ive been incouraging her to get a job and get a house so shes not on the streets and so maybe i can move back with her in the future?... but i know thats never happening. just today we got in an argument because i was manipulating her and abusing her and that she could never trust me because im with "them"?? and that shes turning everyone in. who's she turning in? idk, ig everyone she knows. for what? idk. this is longer than i expected and maybe i started to rant. and im sorry. i assume my family is tired with dealing with her so i dont want to bother them with this. but what should i do? im tired of this and just want a normal life. i know nothing is "normal" and maybe its selfish of me but idk. im scared and concerned for my mother. so please, any advice. anything will help

I'm wondering if anyone can relate to my situation or has thoughts about it. I've been an exjw for a decade now. I left when I was in my early teens and before I became baptized, so I was never shunned by anyone. My parents, however, had been disfellowshipped and mom DA'd.
My grandmother and aunts continue to be PIMI and continue to shun my dad, who is essentially POMO. My aunts live far away and have not talked to my dad in years. However, my grandmother, who is widowed and lives alone nearby, still contacts my dad randomly to ask for his help on house projects or (I suspect) for gossip on the family. She does not spend time with him otherwise. So, it seems that she sort of makes her own rules when it comes to contact/no-contact.
I still see her and my aunts once in a while, and they tend to ask a lot of questions about how my siblings and other family members are doing. But none of them came to my wedding (which was secular), even though they were invited. Recently, my grandmother asked for my husband's (non-JW) help with a minor house project because we own a particular tool. She and my husband basically do not have any kind of relationship (again, she didn't go to our wedding and has only spent minimal time with him), and my husband felt like he was being used, but we went over and did it anyway. She didn't ask him anything about himself but instead just talked about the house, asked me how I was.
I guess I don't know how to navigate being able to talk to JW family members while they shun my dad, who is an important part of my life. I don't know that cutting them off is necessarily warranted, but I'm also tired of acting like this situation makes any sense--it takes emotional and mental effort to act like nothing is wrong. I don't know if it is worth challenging my PIMI relatives on their shunning practices at the cost of my relationship with them. But I don't know if our relationship is worth the cost of me being complicit and silent on the issue all while being bothered by it internally. Anyone else?

I live in Virginia, and the Library of Virginia is the place that is very likely to have records that I'm unlikely to find online. I want to have a plan of attack when I make the drive to Richmond so that I can maximize my time there. Does anyone here have suggestions on the types of questions I should try to research in a place with centralized records?
These are the specific questions I intend to try to get documents for, but I am open to any suggestions any of you have. The first obvious one is to get the death certificate of my father's maternal grandmother, since it isn't online, and I have no idea who her parents were. That document, if it exists and is filled out, will eliminate one brick wall. The next document I'd like to find is the manumission document for my great-great-great grandmother, who was freed sometime between 1840 and 1850. Knowing who freed her could open up another avenue of research. The third thing I'd like to find is any evidence of my father's paternal grandfather's mother prior to 1880. I don't think she's actually his mother (she would've been 49 when he was born: difficult today, probably impossible 150 years ago). The first record I have of his existence is a census record from 1880. She has a very common name (think Mary Jones) that makes it difficult to narrow down exactly which Mary Jones I'm looking for.
My dad's side has the most brick walls, so this trip I intend to focus on just his father's side (for the most part). His mom was born in NC, and it is a mystery why her mother was in Norfolk when she died (she is buried here so I assume she died here). I've got pretty good records for his maternal grandfather, and if I need more then that's a trip to North Carolina.
Thanks in advance for y'all's help.

I spent the entire day at home again. I did some studying and also had a nap, so it was a 50/50 type of day when it comes to productivity.
I helped my dad's friend translate a disability benefits application form for her daughter in law. We chatted about the death of her brother. I feel bad for her.
She paid me 30€ for the translation despite me insisting that I didn't want/need money.
I'm a bit worried about the electricity bills in the new house but I'll bring that up with my mom. I think it'll be better if we switch back to normal, not prepay.
I had a wonderful conversation with one of my friends and it made me feel much better. I hope we get to talk more.

Hello guys, girlfriend of an addict here. I hope after you read this it will make you rethink your choices in regards to porn and how badly it ruines relationships and your significant other (IF THEY DISSAGREE).
So, here's my story:
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years and at the beginning of our relationship I briefly asked about porn and said that I don't agree with it at all to which he told me that he doesn't watch it nor need it. Fast forward six months we were both watching tik toks and he without a shame kept checking if girls there had onlyfans to which I was very confused so I asked him again if he watches porn, to which he said that he just checks their profile because they look like they do sex work so I said "Alright" even tho it really hurt my feelings. For context in the story (meaning why it's so important to me and hurts me terribly) I have terrible mental issues (diagnosed all that jazz won't get too much into it).
Now here we are 3 months after that event; I looked at his phone while he was using it and he had twitter and telegram(also searches of onlyfans girls on instagram) and then he said (as if there was absolutely no problem) that yes, he does watch it. I couldn't help my reaction. I started crying like a kid and unironically went to hide because I was having a panic attack. Afterwards we spoke about it and the reply was: "It's normal, men have urges.". And so I gave into it and basically said okay but in the course of 4 days I couldn't stop regularly crying and shaking violently at the thought that the guy I was very much in love with actively looked at, checked and searched for content of specific women that he saw on tik tok. By the second day we stopped speaking to eachother(we spend most days at eachother's houses meaning we are almost always together). On the fourth day he drank and cried his eyes out and begged for forgiveness saying he would never do it again saying he still has his own beliefs about it.
The second time I caught him it was exactly the same but ofc it felt way worse. He (who was at fault for this whole situation after lying to me for months) wanted to leave my house at three in the morning with me desperately trying to make him stay because I just couldn't do it, I couldn't accept the betrayal nor him leaving after it was his fault and I had done nothing wrong(I just cried and etc). In the end he did stay but it ended up with me physically not being able to speak for 3 hours because of how intense it was for me. In the end, this time too, he had the same beliefs and this whole ordeal ended up with him telling me "Well if u just want me to not do it at least provide an alternative"(I think u alrdy know what the alternative is: pics, videos, etc.). So I did it thinking this time it will finally be over. I also started therapy and worked hardly on getting past it and trying to redeem my self esteem and fix our relationship. I truly did absolutely everything possible. I forgot to mention our intimate life was never ever bad and we did it every day.
The third time I caught him it was the exact same but ofc worse because of..well you know, betrayal, lying and also started feeling completely worthless because I knew he had me on his phone and still chose those other girls(we even had vids with the both of us). Same thing, same reactions from me yet it still felt like I was worthless because he always comforted me and was very kind but he never ever stopped. And man, that fucking hurt.
The fourth time I caught him was on our one year anyversary but I let it go because I saw only one video on twitter, no searches and all that.
I completely forgot to mention he also has bad mental issues and says it's his "coping mechanism" for depression but I am not dumb enough to believe that and it doesn't add up. I mean u see me being that destroyed because of you doing that to me over and over WITH ALTERNATIVES and u still just go and stab me in my back.
And well the final one, meaning the most recent one is way more complicated so Imma start.
Soon after our aniversary in January he left to go to Germany because of family matters that I won't discuss here. Things seemed to be going pretty well with him even regularly asking me for stuff and with our promise he made and all. He even said that I cured him of an addiction that will never return. But hey, here we are, right? He had dozens of google searches for specific girls and also had twitter again after we deactivated it together last time (which basically means that in between all the times I've caught him he has never. ever. stopped.).
So, point of this post being: If u are a girl and experiencing the same thing I am experiencing please, for the love of whatever you believe in just leave..they never change no matter how many alternatives u provide. Even if they are the most amazing loving person on the planet( I think that of my boyfriend even tho I didn't reiterate that here because I think this isn't the point of the subreddit, this is one of his deffects even tho he has the kindest heart I've ever come across) do not trust them. No matter how many breakdowns they may have in front of you and how much it seems "it's hurting them too" trust me, at the next oportunity they will just go behind your back and lust at other women and beating their meat 4 times a day to that crap. Please if you value yourself and your mental health's well being, run. I know it hurts and it's very hard, my heart goes to all of you out there going thru this right now and please remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE, CRAZY or "CONTROLLING". It is your right to set YOUR boundaries in relationships and stick to them. Be strong!
Now, if you are a boy I hope this post shows you at least 3 percent of what your significant other goes thru because of what you do. You cannot keep blaming this on your addiction. IT'S ALL YOU. Staring at provocative videos wondering if the girl has OF or Twitter, checking her account, WANTING to see another girl other than your own fully naked while you beat your meat to it all while knowing how it would affect your significant other. Knock it the fuck off. You have no idea how much it affects us. And in my personal opinion that IS cheating.
All I can tell you is it made me feel worthless, stepped on and cheated on.
That's all everyone, I hope this post helped at least one person today, then I've done my job.
EDIT: English isn't my second language so sorry if there were any mistakes made
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The next few weeks are going to be incredibly hectic - our daughters (2 and 4) have a bunch of end-of-school events, we're moving to another state, and I have a ton going on at work. I am so exhausted already, I don't know how I'm going to get up the energy to do hours of extra work each day when I just want to lay on the couch and doomscroll.
Does anyone have any tips or tricks that have helped them power through times that are even more demanding than the already-insane life of a full-time working mom?

What's happening?

API Pricing Changes
Reddit recently announced major pricing changes to their API, which is the software interface that all major 3rd party applications and bots rely upon to function. These pricing changes are so extreme that all major apps will be forced to cease operating as they cannot bear the costs. As an example, the developer of Apollo revealed they would be forced to pay reddit upwards of $20 million USD/year just to continue operating under the new pricing scheme.
The consensus from the developers behind these apps is that reddit is trying to price them out of existence in order to force users to switch to the official reddit mobile app. Not only will they be forced to pay ridiculous sums (which they cannot cover) to maintain access to the API, changes to the ToS also prohibit these apps from using ad revenue to offset the new costs.
You can find some of their statements below:

• Apollo
• Reddit is Fun
• Relay
• Narwhal
• BaconReader
• Sync

NSFW & Mature Content
In addition to restricting API access behind a ludicrous pricing scheme, reddit is also planning on severely restricting 3rd party applications' access to NSFW/mature content. This will not only make the job of moderating NSFW communities significantly harder for humans, but also largely cripple 3rd party moderation bots that rely on being able to view NSFW content across multiple subreddits. Without the functions these bots provide, reddit is creating massive vulnerabilities in the areas of anti-spam and user safety.
As an example, some communities which focus on serving underage users may use 3rd party bots to automatically detect and remove accounts with a history of posting NSFW/mature content. Additionally there are other 3rd party bots that use comment history to proactively seek out and remove NSFW spam or even help detect and remove possible revenge porn or other illegal content.

How will this affect me?

Any users who rely on 3rd party applications (like those above) to browse reddit will find that the apps will cease to function after July 1st, when the pricing change goes into effect.
In addition, NSFW communities will likely see a large uptick in spam and potentially illegal/harmful content. It's possible that many of these communities will be forced to close if the human moderators responsible for them feel they can no longer keep their community safe without the proper tools these bots and 3rd party apps provide. Ordinarily the average user never sees it but AskRollerblading does deal with lots of NSFW spam, so these changes could have major unforeseen ramifications for moderation across the entire site.
While it has never been explicitly stated by reddit, there is also a large concern that this move to consolidate mobile users to the official app could be a sign that they are planning to fully deprecate the old version of their desktop site (old.reddit.com) in order to consolidate users on the redesign as well.

What can we do to stop this?

Moderators from hundreds of communities across reddit have drafted and signed an open letter to reddit, asking them to reconsider the pricing scheme and to recognize the role that 3rd party apps have played in reddit's ongoing success. You can read the open letter here:
/ModCoord: An open letter on the state of affairs regarding the API pricing and third party apps and how that will impact moderators and communities.
If you'd like even more information, YouTube channel Snazzy Labs hosted an in-depth 48min discussion about reddit's upcoming changes to their API pricing with Christian Selig, the developer of the 3rd party iOS app Apollo.

My family deeply loved my late husband (H), who died of cancer two years ago at 25. H moved in due to familial disputes at 20, and stayed with us until his death at 25--something that was a HUGE departure from what my relatively conservative parents (at the time) had ever thought they would allow. Part of this was down to his personality; H was a deeply insightful, caring, compassionate person who had a keen way of knowing what you were feeling even before you did. Additionally, he was incredibly giving and generous, even imploring us to stay strong and love each other on his deathbed (we had some disputes with his family over his care that I won't get into here, but it worked out as much as can be expected). So naturally, H navigated social situations immensely well, earning both love and respect from the family to the point that my parents considered him a second son.
H's death traumatized the entire family, and I don't think any of us have effectively processed it. Part of this is down to the horror and scars from being a caregiver for someone you love who's dying of cancer (especially a young person), but part of this is my fault; I was so close to self-destruction after his death that the family had to look out for me over their own grieving process for the last two years, which I regret immensely now. But I am alive, and that is more than I expected. I am trying to help them now in the ways they've helped me, but that's another story.
Anyway, to the crux of the matter: I have a friend (BF, M26) who I basically "accidentally" started dating; we'd known each other for about a year and a half and just meshed very well, slowly becoming more intimate until we realized we were all but boyfriends in name. So we sealed the deal recently, and almost everyone is very happy for me, as I had made it clear I really didn't expect to date again for a long time. That is, except for my dad.
I don't think my dad has any problems with homophobia or BF himself; dad says that he likes BF and even helped to get him a job (although this was before we were dating), for which we are both duly grateful. However, ever since it's been revealed that we're dating, Dad treats BF completely differently from how he treated H: where the latter was welcomed into our home, Dad is annoyed every time BF shows up; where Dad gushed about H whenever he could, he only ever speaks of BF when absolutely necessary; when my dad would actively defend any small errors H made, he seems to nitpick everything about BF. This behavior is very recent, as previously he treated BF like any one of my friends--nowhere to the same degree as H, but still much more pleasant than now.
I just don't understand. It would be one thing if he flat-out hated BF, but he doesn't seem to; he's cordial to him, has said he seems like an "ok guy", and never is outwardly hostile. But it is clear that he does not like that we are dating, and his demeanor toward him changed dramatically from when he was "just a friend" to now. There are some personality differences between H and BF, to be sure: namely, BF is much more relaxed, which is the only trait I can think of that might affect how Dad views him. BF doesn't have the strong empathic/social skills of H, can be a bit of a space cadet, and is mildly on the spectrum just to the point that he may say some things too candidly or miss certain social cues. But is that really enough to elicit this reaction? And if so, why only after Dad knew we were dating?
As for solutions, I have tried to talk to Dad about this, and he just says that he "didn't expect things to happen so soon." My mother tried to intercede for me (she likes my bf a lot and is happy for us), and my father confided in her that he believes I am "betraying H" by dating again. Did he expect me to be celbate the rest of my life? I just don't understand, and he has thus far been unwilling to help me understand, although I will admit that I have not had a deep enough conversation with him yet out of both fear of his response and guilt that I essentially brought the pain and suffering of the last few years into his life. I care deeply for Dad too, and I don't want him to just suffer in silence, but it also feels like he's the only one who has a problem here. Mom has even suggested therapy for him, but he has a bit of a "macho" mentality and just a general tendency to bury pain, and so has flat-out rejected the idea.
How do I talk to him about this? What could I possibly say to understand, or make him understand?
TL;DR: Dad loved my late husband, and now rejects my boyfriend seemingly out of principle rather than his personality, in addition to unresolved grief.

I’ve been 18 for 9 months now so I’ve only got 1.5 years of being a teen left. Danm this just hits me a like a truck. Looking back on what I’ve gone through as a kid and who I went through it with really makes me thing about how life just comes and goes. I’ve lost some on the way but made a couple I know will be around for the long run. I was always the one at my moms side, being the youngest of 5 some of my brothers went to collage and tec schools but the oldest worked. I always helped my mom with everything while she was raising us (single mother). 16 years on her own with us and we were quite tight as a family, I was kind of the man of the house because I did most of the work inside and outside. But I was always doing it with my mom, everything she needed help with I helped with. But that all changed 3 years ago when she met my step-dad. Now don’t get me wrong he’s a great guy. Nothing short of what my mom deserved after all we’ve been through. But with him coming along it’s given me the smallest time back that I could never be more thankful for. From 2020 to 2021 I got to be a kid for a little bit. Just playing video games, watching movies, doing classes, biking the trail. But that’s all been gone for a while and it’s made me realize how different my life could have been if I did have a dad growing up. But honestly I’m glad I didn’t because I fear I wouldn’t be half the man I am today if Had someone to hold my hand and show me how to do stuff. But I guess my point is that if anyone is out there reading this, who might not have the greatest relationship with your family. Please for the love of all things green and holy. Just try to spend sometime with them it doesn’t have to be t perfect or go how you want it to but it’s still something. There will always come a day when you’ll miss them so much and you’ll do anything to have one more hour with them. So take this time you have now and use it wisely because there isn’t much left. It’s running out…

please do not not judge me ):
(Sorry for any typos) Okay so I came to Dallas from Austin for his graduation. Both of our parents say that we used to hang out all the time when we were younger but neither of has have any memory of it. Like absolutely no memory I didn’t even recognize him. I don’t remember a thing about him. And same for him.
Anyways after his little graduation thing we all took pictures me and him got in his moms car (my auntie) and immediately we started clicking. we have the same music taste and everything and I fucking hate to say this shit but he’s cute. I’m just trying to be completely honest here. Okay?
I’m sure it would be different if I had at least one memory of him but I DONT. that’s why I feel this way because he just feels like a friend to me.
we went to this bowling place and we had sm fun and talking and you know just choppin it up. And like.. I don’t know dude. I feel so gross and weird for feeling this way but I can’t help it.
I genuinely wanna puke.. over and over again lmao. This is fucking disgusting. The things that I am feeling towards him is absolutely unacceptable. I’m not even gonna say it. I hope you get the hint but damn 🤦🏽‍♀️. This is so embarrassing and wrong.

My husband "Allen" (49m) and I have been together over three years now. Both divorced, me with minor children at home, he with adult children at college/graduated from college. I don't make a ton of money as a public servant (50k), but I'm careful with money, own my home (I have a mortgage and tons of equity), own my car outright and have stocks/ investments for retirement of about 50k. Allen makes a similar amount in the same field and has no savings.
His last marriage ended years ago due to financial issues (that he hid from his wife), and that was the catalyst that ended them. He took on all of the marital debt and left his part of the retirement (150k+) as penance. Now that we are married, he has moved into my house, and we have combined finances and shouldered the debt (40k) together. I don't love it, but I don't want to watch him work himself to death struggling, and he really is the love of my life.
Due to some issues outside of our control, money has been very tight lately, paycheck to paycheck tight, our account was in the negative last month tight. Allen knows this has been weighing heavily on me, especially with my kids, one of whom will need a phone and car soon. Two of Allen's adult children are self-sufficient, have jobs, and are independent. The youngest is a senior in college and just got their first job in years part-time at a clothing store. They live off student loans and get lots of help from Mom (very well off). We are already paying for their car, insurance, and up until recently, their phone. Every few months there's a big emergency (car issue, rent, etc) and they ask us for the money. Allen's first inclination is to say yes, and then we argue and reach a compromise where we help how we can.
I recently found out that he's been sending money for the latest emergency without telling me, even though things have never been tighter, I'm behind on my credit cards (never happened to me before) and we can't pay our mortgage on time this month (also never happened). I'm livid and literally don't understand why he would do this to me. He's extremely apologetic, but I feel like the trust is gone, and I can't depend on him. AITA for telling him to prioritize us over his kid??
ETA: When we started dating, he was working two jobs, killing himself with no sleep and living very, very frugally. He had a very tight budget he stuck to. It really seemed like he'd learned from his mistakes. He still carries a lot of guilt and remorse from the whole issue even though it wasn't caused solely by him.

Throwaway account.
So I was raped repeatedly by my [15m] cousin when I was 9[m]. He was my baby sitter at the time over summer holidays and even with a current meth addiction is still a golden child due to his dad passing away shortly before. I still see him occasionally when he comes to town but I'm eagerly waiting for the day I find out he OD'd or has been killed for drug debt.
I repressed it for years but that summer was when I first got into porn. Then sending pics shortly after. Years later I've done anything and everything to scratch the itch. Ruined almost all my relationships because of it and realized that my baseline understanding of sexual norms is completely out of wack.
I've gone to therapy recently and been put on medication to help even me out but even with that I still havent slowed down a noticeable amount. I still find ways to get my outlet though that's a lot harder now with more caution on the internet (good on you ladies, seriously) I never raped anyone but I sure got good at finding those that are vulnerable to being used.
I hate myself every day for it and even with the abuse I suffered I can't imagine doing anything but taking the blame for my actions.

My sister (30sF) and her husband have five kids. I (22f) am very child free. I don’t like being around kids at all, it sparks no joy. So I have virtually no relationship with my nieces and nephew. This is my choice and I’m happy with it.
My sister and her whole household have the norovirus, which makes you shit and puke for like a week straight. All 7 of them have it. Her husband was so immensely dehydrated that he needed to go to the ER.
She asked me to come watch their five kids while she takes him. I told her no, and suggested she call an ambulance or her mil to take him, while she stays home with their kids. I feel like those are really feasible options. She said she doesn’t want to bother mil and they can’t afford an ambulance. So I asked why she’s ok with burdening me to watch five sick kids but asking mil to just drive him is too much? She said she was sick too and needed a break. I hung up and moved on with my day.
Our mom, who lives across the country, called me to chew me out for not watching my sisters kids. I feel like it’s such an unreasonable request, I’ve never even babysat one child, or even changed a diaper. How would I manage five sick kids, three of which are still in diapers? Sisters mother in law ended up taking her son to the er, and my sister has been whining to anyone who will listen about how much I suck. I don’t even have a relationship with her anymore since she had kids, and she wouldn’t even help me move into my college dorm.
I feel like it’s unreasonable for her to expect help from me when she won’t even do much smaller favors in return.
AITA for not watching my sisters kids?