throwaway for personal reasons, and this is just gonna be a long rant so :/
I'm sick and tired of my life. I just... I don't like saying I hate my family, but I'm certainly not happy. And i'm sure I'm going to sound like a spoiled teenager by the end of this, but at this point, I don't care anymore.
I feel like I just can't live in my own house. I get stressed really easily and I'm anxious a lot and I just can't talk to anyone about it. I usually don't even know what I'm stressed about, and when I try to explain that to my parents, they just take it as me being stressed over nothing and that I don't have to worry about anything and that I should be fine. I just don't know how to express it. I just started lying about what I'm stressed about (like saying I'm worried about a test), but as soon as I finish that they expect it to be like a blank slate. Is it just me who takes a bit of time to get over stress? And when I am actually worried about something, like being afraid that I'd fail a test, I'm "going to do fine, you're a straight-A student". Like that will magically relieve all my stress, and I will still want to do well. (I'm out of school now, just using it as an example) And also, I know this makes no sense, but I hate eating in the house. My mom is the kind of healthy-only, organic-only kind of moms, which is fine, I don't mind it, but it means she barely buys anything processed. You basically need to cook or at least put in at least 10/15 minutes to make something to eat in my house, unless we have guests over and then she'll buy some healthy snacks. I can cook fine, but I just don't like being around them long enough to make something I want to eat. So I just kind of.. stopped eating until dinner. And I know it's not healthy, and that I need energy and I need to eat, but I just don't want to be around them. I'm not doing it to lose weight or because I feel like I can't, I just don't want to be around them to make myself something. I feel bad about ranting to my friends, so I just stopped. Whenever I feel like I'm starting to enjoy something with them, it gets unraveled within a week. I hung out downstairs after dinner watching a new show with my mom, but then my dad got back from his business trip and he "doesn't like TV shows" so now after dinner they've started watching movies I don't like, so I stopped watching with them. They know I don't like them, and when I leave to just go to my room, I'm "in my room all the time and they never get to see me" and if I go downstairs to do something, it's "oh, I finally get to see you!" or "oh, she's alive!" which just makes me not want to go downstairs. I just feel like a piece of cr*p, like a spoiled brat, because we live in a nice house and we get nice things but I still just don't want to be around them. I can't drive or get a job, and now that it's summer I'm in the house almost all the time. I just feel so isolated, while my brother is fine. Sorry for the stupid rant, but I'm just so tired of everything right now and I needed to tell someone

Ever since I (22F) was young, my parents have been toxic. They are both alcoholics, fight constantly, and are abusive to each other and my brother (19M) and I. My mom specifically emotionally abused me from a young age. She would manipulate me and guilt trip me constantly, and I had always been forced between my parents fights. I was often told they couldn’t get a divorce because of me. My mom cheated on my dad last year and told me first before anyone else and made me keep it a secret. It was awful and caused me PTSD which I’m going to therapy for. Thankfully I moved away to school when I was 17, and since last year I’ve been living with my boyfriend (23M) of 7 years when I’m not at school. It’s helped me a lot to be physically separated from my parents. I’ve set a lot of boundaries with them and told them im very hurt with how my childhood was (feeling neglected, used, emotionally responsible, etc). While I’m happy to be out, my brother is stuck. He just finished college and is trying to work and save money to move out. He stays away from my parents as much as possible, but is still financially dependent on them. He’s become greatly affected by their problems and has opened up to me recently about how he has suffered with alcohol addiction. He says he tries to stop but my parents peer pressure him to drink and smoke more. My mom is starting to emotionally abuse him the way she always did to me. He’s shown me texts from her where she bombards him with useless info and makes guilt tripping comments. I try to spend as much time with my brother as possible. Me and my bf have him for dinner often and told him he’s always welcome to sleep here. His gf (18F) is also very sweet and supportive of him and I can tell she wants the best for him.
Any wise words from someone who’s been through this? I’m continuing therapy every two weeks and trying to break away from feeling emotionally responsible for my parents. But I’m very protective of my brother and want to help him and keep him safe. I’m just struggling a lot.

My last post
I’ve been meaning to write this for a while and life got in the way. So it’s a little longer than I would like. To anyone who reads the whole thing, thank you.
For those who prefer a TL;DR: My progress has been so fucking good. I completed a 4.2-mile race I’ve wanted to do since I was in college. I spent a week in Disneyworld for the first time ever and did multiple open to closing days without feeling like I wanted to die. I am on track for my goal of being under 300 pounds before my 30th birthday and take my first discovery flight on that day to begin training to get my pilot’s license.
I feel so fucking good.
Now onto the full post.
I never thought I’d write something like this.
When I was in college, my mother passed away unexpectedly. It was, as one might expect, extremely difficult and something I was nowhere close to being prepared for.
My mom was a spectacular woman in many ways but what I always admired her most for was not putting up with any bullshit people tried to give her. It was likely her upbringing in Jersey City, in the shadow of the skyscrapers of Manhattan, that fostered that.
When she passed, my immediate feeling was numbness. After returning back to school following all the business that had to be done at home, the feeling remained for a long time.
I remember not long after she passed, I was given my first internship. Since completing an internship was required for graduation from my program, it was something I had been long stressing about and venting to my mom about. So even after hearing the news I couldn’t celebrate.
Why should I if I couldn’t call my mom to tell her?
Suffice to say, my mental health after she passed was not good. I spent a lot of time by myself and when I was with friends I was not a pleasant person to be around.
It was around this time I had the idea of running a race that is organized by a foundation affiliated with my alma mater. I could not tell you how overweight I was at the time exactly but it was definitely well over 400 pounds so I knew I would have to do serious preparation to do it.
But I don’t think it will come as a shock that I couldn’t do it. It was a goal that simply was far too great for my current mental state and I gave up on the idea not long after beginning a moderate gym routine which I also abandoned to return to my room where I’d spend my time in much less productive ways.
It’s been over 8 years now since my mom passed.
If anyone has ever experienced loss in that way you’ll know that it never really leaves you. It certainly gets easier to live with but the thought of your loved one not being there for you is always there in your mind no matter what.
I have done plenty of growing in that time. I’ve had a few jobs. I started my first real relationship with a woman who I know beyond a shadow of a doubt loves me for who I really am and who I love in return. I have, what I honestly believe and will argue to the end of time, is the best group of friends anyone could ever ask for.
But there was always still this feeling that I was missing something.
If you’ve read my other posts here you’ll know I began losing weight back in September but really began taking it seriously around February. It was around then I decided to commit to walking more and more every day and being more mindful of what I eat every single day. During one of those walks it hit me that the same race from college was coming up in a couple months and they always have local versions of the race organized by the alumni associations.
I decided then to sign up.
I wasn’t planning on even jogging it. I was planning on walking the entirety of the race just so I could say that I could. But when I was on the sign up page it included a training schedule for people who wanted to prepare for jogging. The race is slightly over a 5K so the training plan is a somewhat modified version of “Couch to 5K” programs.
I realized that if I started the program that week that it would line up perfectly with race day. To make this as short as possible I’ll just say I was shocked at my progress in the program. There was only one training session I wasn’t able to complete. I felt great.
Mind you I was not jogging very fast, and still don’t go very fast on my jogs. Before the start of the race I had the goal of finishing in an hour and 15 minutes.
The run was not easy. Even with all the training I’m still carrying so much extra body weight that it is still very difficult. But I had so many of my fellow runners giving me signs of encouragement along the course I felt truly phenomenal.
I crossed the finish line in under an hour and hugged my girlfriend and cried. Her and my friends had come down from Los Angeles and made signs and all made t-shirts spelling out my name. Typing it now is making me cry again.
Race day was April 15, 2023 and I weighed in at 353.8 pounds.
Today is May 27, 2023 and this morning I weighed in at 332.3 pounds.
As of posting I am officially down 90.6 pounds since last September.
In the time between I got the chance to spend a week in Orlando visiting Disneyworld and one day at Universal Studios. It was the only week since I began training that I did no jogging but, in my humble opinion, I think I made up for it with the amount of walking.
Even on the “off” day I took from the parks I spent most of it walking all around Disney Springs and the resorts exploring. On the first night we stayed past close to ride Space Mountain and I felt incredible.
I love theme parks but for context, in the past I rarely if ever stayed to close because my body simply wouldn’t let me do it. We stayed to close multiple nights during the trip and I never really felt that bad.
I came back from the trip essentially at the same weight I left it despite having some poor options for food in the parks (literally the first thing I ate in the Magic Kingdom was a hot dog with electric green relish). The amount of movement during the trip was able to offset it thank goodness.
Upon return, I’ve tried to keep the jogging going although there have been one or two nights where I skipped it but even on those nights I went for my long walk. I’ve continued being mindful of what I’m eating while not feeling like I am missing out on anything at all.
Did you know you can get a power bowl from Taco Bell that tastes like all their other items but you can make it so it’s only like 450 calories for like a good amount of food? I just got that last night for dinner and while it’s not something I get regularly it feels like cheating.
Going to Orlando was a good reminder of one of the goals I have. For those like me who are big and also love theme parks, you’ll know that Universal is not a very accessible park. I can go on my soapbox but I’ll just say I think a lot of times it’s just out of sheer lack of consideration.
Despite my progress there were still several rides I couldn’t do. And even though I didn’t need a seat belt extender for an airplane I did need one for the Jimmy Fallon ride, but whatever.
But one of my goals from the beginning has been being able to go on thrill rides like those without worrying about fitting in the seats. I fully believe that goal will be achieved.
The other two goals I’ve had also are well within my reach. Firstly, I wanted to be under 300 pounds by my 30th birthday in November. At my current rate, I should be well under it by then.
I also have a goal of taking a discovery flight on my birthday as the first step to getting my pilot’s license. I’ll need to start calling flight schools to see if they have specified weight limits but I feel good about the possibility of it happening.
I still have a long way to go but there have been so many little victories as well. I recently have finally started seeing a difference in progress photos I take. There is a shirt I’ve had in the bottom of a drawer I wore maybe twice because it was too snug and I put it on recently and it was actually loose.
I feel really, really good. I feel like the things I’m doing continue to be sustainable. And I feel like I can do anything.
And I also feel like anyone reading this can do this too. Be consistent, don’t let one day define the story. It’s a long road but it can be filled with wonderful moments worthy of celebration.

So I saw txt yesterday for the second time. The first time was last year during their act lovesick tour.
Seeing how much they have improved in performance over the last 10 months was amazing to witness. They have grown in all ways (performance, vocals, crowd engagement, confidence). They were truly glowing last night.
I was fortunate enough to have vip and was only a few seats from barricade and i have to comment on how drop dead gorgeous they all are. i spent the whole concert constantly telling my concert buddy “omg they are so cute”. seriously theyre unreal up close. soobin specifically stole my heart all over again.
I also have to highlight some of the songs specifically. Sugar rush ride was made for concerts. I could literally feel the song rushing through my body. Love song never fails live and gives me chills every time. Lastly, tinnitus absolutely slayed.
It was so much fun and being in a larger venue felt soo good. Compared to Microsoft theater, BMO stadium made such a huge difference in their performance quality especially bc the stage was much larger. Microsoft theater is not a good concert venue at all lmao.
Im glad to have witnessed their journey over the years and ending yesterdays concert with fireworks almost brought out the waterworks in me (soobin and yeonjun cried which didnt help 😭). Txt has been a huge source of happiness for me over the years and im just so happy they are getting the success they deserve.

Okay, so this is a new account because my other account could be used to identify me. That being said, I am really struggling with my current job and I don't know what to do anymore.
I have a bachelor's degree (Psychology) that got me a job in community mental health in 2021 - found out pretty quickly I wasn't cut out for that and left. I now have an entry-level role in HR at a major corporation (1.5 years so far) and I am struggling every single day. I enjoy the good days, but they are so few and far between that most days I can't even get to work without a pit in my stomach. I'm overcome with anxiety constantly to the point that I'm exhausted when I leave, and go to bed early because I can't even function once I get home. I have a handful of active applications and have gotten some interviews, but no offers yet and the market for HR is not so great in general right now (including where I live, Midwest).
I'm the only HR support role on the shift that I work, for an upwards of 400+ employees at any given time. We have fairly frequent Employee Relations escalations and these conversations can be extremely draining at times.
My manager has an extremely volatile personality, to the point that we never know how they are going to respond, and they have to have the final say in any actions that take place. It has made our workplace very stressful and we experience /significant/ turnover in my department as a result. To add to this, everyone on my team owns a different process, so that if anyone is out, their workload does not get distributed and nobody feels like they can take time away (no proxies) - taking time away essentially just sets ourselves up for failure.
Manager has explicitly stated no handoffs or training for anyone other than the owner of said function. We have infrequent conversations regarding my performance and they go both ways (positive and negative). I am in line for promotion roughly sometime in July, but I struggle with prioritization and keeping track of things sometimes, so we've also had not so good conversations as well (at one point in time being told explicitly if I "don't start taking notes, things will not go well for you" which I took as a veiled threat and not a word of advice).
I'm essentially the sole provider for my family (wife and daughter), and we live paycheck to paycheck so I absolutely need something lined up. My concerns are the training I have gotten and am getting at my current employer is very narrow and not traditionally applicable to general HR work from what I can tell, but I think I would like to continue working in HR roles moving forward. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? I don't mean to ramble, but I've got a lot on my plate and just needed somewhere to air some stuff.
TLDR:

• Toxic workplace
• Toxic manager
• Unideal opportunities in current market vs. what level of income I need to continue having a home
• Imposter syndrome
• Would like a less customer-facing role (Comp and benefits maybe, but not getting any luck due to no payroll experience)
• Struggle with abstract and gray areas, so probably no Business Partnestrategic roles.
• Am I even a good fit for HR? I guess I'm the only one that can decide that, but yeah.

Just looking for any guidance, input, advice. Anything. I feel panicked and like I've hit a brick wall. I'm tired of being in fight or flight 24 hours a day. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel lazy, unmotivated, anxious, depressed, lost. Sorry, so much to unpack.
Thanks for reading.

Hey redditors,
Hope you all are doing well.
Reposting again - still looking for my person, staying positive and not giving up!
I moved to Netherlands last year for a career switch from academia to the industry. It has been an interesting journey for me - from India to USA for my PhD, then to Switzerland for research and now to Netherlands. New country, new job and new life! I will likely be spending the foreseeable future here, and want find my forever person.
I want a connection that could mature into something more down the line where we establish a deep personal bond - share thoughts, dreams, goals, aspirations, travels and stories, music, books, food and more. I very much want a relationship and would prefer to communicate with someone who is already in NL or planning to move here very soon. I am not looking for pen pals or casual acquaintances.
Some common grounds/ice-breakers: gamer, scientist, traveler, foodie, amateur chef and coffee addict sums me up. And yet, we are all more than the sum of our hobbies.
Gaming: primarily a PC gamer with a taste for RPG and strategy. Gaming is not the only part of my life but it is an important one so I would prefer if you were at least a casual gamer or someone who is willing to participate in that activity. I regularly play games like final fantasy 14, guild wars 2, path of exile, and civilization 6. I also have a switch and a PS5.
Non-gaming: I enjoy both cooking and eating out to explore different cuisines. My taste in music is too broad to list here but the favorite is Sufi music. Lastly, I am not a couch potato and like spending a fair bit of time outside - fitness, hiking, traveling, visiting museums, attending live performances or just exploring new places. Being in NL, I have recently picked up cycling as well - we will see how that goes.
Other details: I am politically left leaning, an atheist, a vegetarian and an introvert.
I am usually a very agreeable person, but somethings such as smoking, strong religious inclinations and an anti-science mindset are an absolute no for me.
If you've read this far and feel like there is common ground to build upon, please leave a message introducing yourself, and let us start a conversation :)
Stay safe.
Cheers!

Hey redditors,
Hope you all are doing well.
Reposting again - still looking for my person, staying positive and not giving up!
I moved to Netherlands last year for a career switch from academia to the industry. It has been an interesting journey for me - from India to USA for my PhD, then to Switzerland for research and now to Netherlands. New country, new job and new life! I will likely be spending the foreseeable future here, and want find my forever person.
I want a connection that could mature into something more down the line where we establish a deep personal bond - share thoughts, dreams, goals, aspirations, travels and stories, music, books, food and more. I very much want a relationship and would prefer to communicate with someone who is already in NL or planning to move here very soon. I am not looking for pen pals or casual acquaintances.
Some common grounds/ice-breakers: gamer, scientist, traveler, foodie, amateur chef and coffee addict sums me up. And yet, we are all more than the sum of our hobbies.
Gaming: primarily a PC gamer with a taste for RPG and strategy. Gaming is not the only part of my life but it is an important one so I would prefer if you were at least a casual gamer or someone who is willing to participate in that activity. I regularly play games like final fantasy 14, guild wars 2, path of exile, and civilization 6. I also have a switch and a PS5.
Non-gaming: I enjoy both cooking and eating out to explore different cuisines. My taste in music is too broad to list here but the favorite is Sufi music. Lastly, I am not a couch potato and like spending a fair bit of time outside - fitness, hiking, traveling, visiting museums, attending live performances or just exploring new places. Being in NL, I have recently picked up cycling as well - we will see how that goes.
Other details: I am politically left leaning, an atheist, a vegetarian and an introvert.
I am usually a very agreeable person, but somethings such as smoking, strong religious inclinations and an anti-science mindset are an absolute no for me.
If you've read this far and feel like there is common ground to build upon, please leave a message introducing yourself, and let us start a conversation :)
Stay safe.
Cheers!

I’ve never felt this way before and it’s really starting to freak me out. I’m typically someone who’s anxious, so apathy is completely new to me. It’s like I’m living in a fog. I can’t even think clearly enough to bust myself out of this. I can’t muster up the energy to do anything. I just lay around most days trying to decide on anything to do with myself. I’m restless but exhausted. I make all these plans, but I can never seem to follow through.
Night comes, and I’m relieved because at least I have an excuse to lay around lol. I just can’t sleep tho. I’m up until 2AM endlessly scrolling YouTube shorts. It’s the only thing I have the energy for. Tv shows suddenly take up too much energy. Yet I can’t sit still enough to watch one. My grandpa and I used to watch an episode of Parks and Rec every night, but lately I’ve been making up excuses to get out of it. I don’t even enjoy being on my phone like I used to anymore. It just seems like the only thing to do.
I don’t enjoy any of the things that used to bring me joy. The big one is gaming. I’ve gone through a lot of rough periods in my life, but I’ve never completely lost interest in gaming. In fact, gaming is what’s gotten me through a lot of the hard times. It just seems pointless to me now. A waste of time. I keep trying to start new games, but it just bores me now.
I used to wake up and make myself a healthy breakfast, now it just hits 3pm before I realize I haven’t eaten anything yet and I force myself to eat some crackers. The only thing I have energy to eat is junk food.
I used to love doing things with my dog, now I’ve shirked all of my parenting responsibilities over to my mom. Who doesn’t seem to mind btw, but still.
All of this came on really suddenly with no apparent cause. I haven’t been able to break myself out of it for a few months now. I’m seeing a new therapist as of last week. What are some action steps I can take right now? A game plan if you will. Is this depression? Please help me.
Oh, I should also mention that the brain fog is for real. I’m making stupid mistakes at work that I could never imagine having made in the past. It’s really starting to affect my job performance.

So really quick back story.
I’ve been plumbing about 10 years. Me, my dad, and a partner started a plumbing business about 6 years ago.
We had grown it up to about $3.6 million a year gross on average with about 14 employees by year 3.
As of now we’re doing about $2million a year with 6 employees and going downhill fast.
Right now our company is a disaster. Our partner is running it into the ground and we have more debt than income. We can’t keep any employees more than a few months because they can’t stand to work for our partner. I don’t see how we’re going to last another year with the way things are going. We need $100k a month just to pay the bills.
My dad wants out and is retiring. Our partner spends more energy getting side jobs and figuring out how to funnel money into his own bank account than working on the business.
Everyone is basically done and I’ve decided I want to venture out and start a company on my own.
Honestly I want to keep overhead very low and keep it small. Maybe 2-3 employees max. At least of of right now anyways.
Trying to grow a big company I’ve seen a million dollars come in and $1.5 million go out and it’s not worth the headache to me.
I figure if I can keep overhead small I can generate more profit than a multi million dollar company.
I have done all the branding, marketing, and lead generation for the company.
I have the knowledge to install or manage any type of plumbing job with most experience in servicing residential.
I average close to $1million a year in sales just by myself. My closing ratio averages 80% (last month I had a 100% closing ratio for the first time on every call I ran).
I know if I’m trying to manage a business by myself, run calls, marketing, do installs myself, etc. I won’t have the time to generate that kind of revenue. I won’t have the team to perform like that. If I can just do say $600k a year with 1 employee then I’d be very happy and seems easily doable to me.
My biggest ticket service calls are leaks, (leak detection) septic tanks, and clogged drains. 90% of other calls are just busy work (water heaters, faucets, garbage disposals, etc..)
So septic replacement, repipes, and sewer repair is my main big ticket items. This accounts for probably 70% of my revenue.
So with my new company I want to focus on positioning myself to service these types of calls only.
I don’t really want to deal with the liability, headache, and equipment needed to replace septics so that leaves me with repipes and drain repair.
Im thinking of becoming nothing but a drain specialist. Pipe bursting, lining, hydrojetting, mole shooting, rootering, and camera inspections, etc..
I figure I can get more specific targeted calls this way and use my time more effectively.
I also wouldn’t mind leak detection specialization but that seems very limited. And having a drain and leak detection combination seems too random and confusing to homeowners.
I’m just worried that by doing this I’m leaving a lot of opportunity on the table and limiting myself.
I’m also worried I won’t be able to generate enough calls if I’m this specialized. (I live in SoCal and it’s extremely competitive. )
I have an amazing ability to upsell calls. I can run say a faucet replacement call, recommend a camera inspection, and be jetting out their drains by the end of the call. ( this isn’t a specific example but I do an entire home inspection with misc prv replacements, shut offs, water filtration, and a lot of recommendations on each call. ) I also love doing repipes on homes and very good at that as well.
So I do get some revenue from small calls but still seems like a waist of time when I could be running a root intrusion call and be recommending a liner, descaling, clean out, redrain, etc.
So do I stick with what I’m doing and be a general plumber with a lot of busy work to get me by or do I hyper specialize to focus on extremely targeted calls?
Are there other owners out there that have experience with this and specialize in only drain work? What is that like and is there enough opportunity to stay busy?

My childhood best friend "D" and I have known each other since 4th grade. We have been very close from elementary school through high school, and even now into our early 30s. I dearly adore her friendship and my family considers her family. While we now live about an hour and a half from each other, we make an effort to keep in touch.
However, I noticed a change in her when she became a mother almost 2 years ago. Not just your normal motherhood changes that come with having your first child. She has shown signs that she might be too attached to her child. Here's some examples:

• Even though both she and her child (and husband) are fully vaccinated against Covid, she still refuses to eat indoors at restaurants. She and her child have no underlying immunocompromised issues (knowing her for the many years I have, I'm confident that she would have no problem sharing if there were issues like this.) She has made it clear that this is because of her fear of Covid and has complicated the activities we can do together as friends.
• During our friend's wedding where we were both bridesmaids, she had a meltdown because the bride asked if she could forego a mask for the indoor ceremony, but was fine with her wearing a mask for the reception. My friend was so upset because in her mind it meant a risk of giving her daughter covid, and thought she would have to isolate from her daugther for a few days before she could produce a negative covid test. It was such a mess that the bride went back on her ask, and my friend wore the mask. Also, the whole time we were getting our hair and makeup done for the wedding she kept looking at her phone for updates on her daughter.
• When I got married a year after my friend, as we were just finishing up the rehearsal and about to head to the rehearsal dinner, she pulled me aside and said "You can say 'no' to this, but I was wondering if during the ceremony if my mom could stand in the back with my daughter (now 14 mos)." I was dumbfounded because 1) I had a million other things on my mind the day before my wedding and this came out of left field 2) We had explicitly said on our invitations that this was a kid-free wedding 3) she never said WHY she wanted to do this 4) while I'm supposed to be having one of the most important moments of my life, you want to look at your daughter?! I tried asking a few clarifying questions because I was confused and taken aback, and she just shot back with "nevermind." I could tell she was upset, even as I handed her her bridesmaids gifts as we left for the rehearsal dinner (which of course she didn't attend as I've outlined above.)
• During my actual wedding day, she teared up when one of the make-up artists started talking about her own daughter and D said "I'm just thinking of my own daughter. It's going to be such a long day without her!"
• She brings her daughter places that in my mind don't make sense. She recently brought her to our friend's baby shower where of course she could only focus on her. I asked what her husband was up to that day (presuming he was busy and not able to watch their daughter (now 21 months), hence why she was at the shower.) She said "Oh I think he's just hanging around the house today." So you thought it would be a good idea to your kid to a mostly adult party instead of leaving her with her dad??
• Almost every topic of conversation is about her daughter, even if it has nothing to do with her.Me: "I'm so excited. We're getting a puppy in a month!"D: "[Daughter] is very good at being gentle with puppies."...OK very cool.

I'm not a mother (but hope to become one), so maybe I'm missing something here. This behavior is so obnoxious to me and it's causing me to have resentment toward her. I've never seen my other friends with kids act this way, so looking for some insight here.
Is this behavior normal? I don't even know how to approach this topic with her because she's such a sensitive person and would most likely see me bringing this up as an attack on her parenting. Or is it even worth bringing up?

Introduction
Last 2020, a girl named Monika was using the dating app called Bumble mysteriously died yet her account remains. There have been rumors that her ghost still haunts the app, and there is a secret ritual that can be performed to match with her dead soul. However, it is said that this ritual can also be deadly.
Many people have tried to uncover the truth behind Monika's death and the mysterious ritual, but no one has ever come forward with concrete evidence. Some believe that it's just a hoax or an urban legend, while others are convinced that there's something more sinister at play.
​
Who was Monika?
Monika was a young woman who lived in the city and was known for her beauty and charm. She had many friends and was always up for a good time. She was also an avid user of dating apps and was known to have met several guys through them.
However, her life took a tragic turn when she mysteriously died last year. The circumstances surrounding her death were unclear, and many people speculated that foul play was involved. Despite this, her Bumble account remained active, leading some to believe that her ghost still haunts the app.
​
​
The Secret Ritual
According to the rumors, there is a secret ritual that can be performed to match with Monika's dead soul on Bumble. The details of this ritual are vague and vary depending on who you ask, but it usually involves lighting candles, reciting incantations, and swiping on the app at a specific time.
However, those who have attempted the ritual warn that it can be dangerous. Some claim to have matched with Monika's ghost and experienced strange occurrences, such as their phone suddenly shutting off or feeling a cold breeze in their room. Others say that they never matched with her at all, but still experienced unexplainable phenomena.
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The Dangers of the Ritual
While many people are intrigued by the idea of matching with Monika's ghost on Bumble, others warn that it can be deadly. There have been reports of people experiencing heart attacks or sudden illnesses after attempting the ritual, leading some to believe that Monika's ghost is seeking revenge on those who disturb her peace.
Whether or not the ritual is truly dangerous is up for debate, but it's clear that there are risks involved. Those who are considering attempting it should proceed with caution and be aware of the potential consequences.
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The Truth Behind Monika's Death
Despite the rumors and speculation surrounding Monika's death, the truth remains a mystery. Some believe that she was the victim of foul play, while others think that it was simply a tragic accident. There is no concrete evidence to support either theory, and Monika's family has remained tight-lipped about the details of her passing.
While the idea of matching with Monika's ghost on Bumble is intriguing, it's important to remember that there is a real person behind the rumors and urban legends. Monika was a young woman with hopes and dreams, and her untimely death is a tragedy that should not be taken lightly.
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Conclusion
The story of Monika and the mysterious ritual on Bumble is one that has captured the imagination of many people. While the truth behind her death may never be known, the impact that it has had on those who knew her is undeniable.
Whether or not the ritual is real, it serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of dabbling in the supernatural. Those who are considering attempting it should do so at their own risk, and be prepared for whatever consequences may come their way.

Anyone looking for a fun day at a family-friendly event, I can't recommend enough a trip to the new home of the New Jersey Renaissance Faire running this weekend, including tomorrow and June 10-11. They're now at the Burlington County Fairgrounds. There's all sorts of shows for every age, jousting, acrobats, comedic performances, live music, exciting fight shows featuring skilled stuntmen engaging in combat with real steel weapons and all sorts of vendors.
Check out their website at https://njrenfaire.com/ to see more and order tickets for a discount from the price at the door.
Has anyone been yet? Share some stories below if you have.

Apply Here: Discord: https://discord.gg/vPqyu9dPJ7
(WHITELIST APPLICATION TAKES LESS THAN 3 MINUTES)
**SEASON 9 - OPEN FOR ONE MONTH SO FAR.
**
ABOUT US
TotallyNotSuspicious is an established SMP community created in 2018 centered around semi-vanilla gameplay. Our main priority is fostering interaction and creativity within the community. We build together on the server, host Discord game nights, chat, and more. We have server members from around the globe; we maintain open arms for anyone wishing to join an active and friendly community.
Find out more about us below!
FEATURES
We have datapacks that maintain the vanilla feel of the game. Most of the datapacks utilized are used by Hermitcraft. On the other hand, our custom datapacks are intended to enhance and protect the multiplayer experience.

• Guilds (NOT FACTIONS, just a way for friends to group together and work on community projects and live together!)
  
• Non-plugin functioning economy Custom made minigames, inbetween season events, and mini-seasons!
  
• Custom Staff & Player Events
  
• Server Performance Optimization
  
• Version: 1.19.3
  

Previous Season Images: [https://imgur.com/gallery/0PEiH5n
](https://imgur.com/gallery/0PEiH5n)
NOTE: Staff are not permitted creative mode or any command that can provide them with an advantage while playing survival. Staff are restricted and remain on the same level of any other player.
COMMUNICATION
Our community uses Discord for communication. Announcements and information are sent out regarding server events & changes. Joining the Discord is required in order to be whitelisted on the server. Applying is simple and easy. The application process is completed within the Discord Server.

• Do not steal. Taking anything of anyone else’s without their consent is considered stealing; has zero tolerance.
  
• Do not grief in any way. Ruining any sort of building without the other player’s consent is considered griefing.
  
• Do not hack or duplicate items in any way. Any sort of hacking client, hacking texture packs, and duplication methods are considered a violation.
  
• Do not advertise other servers, other Discord Servers, or post invites.
  

Apply Here: Discord: https://discord.gg/vPqyu9dPJ7
(WHITELIST APPLICATION TAKES LESS THAN 3 MINUTES)
**SEASON 9 - OPEN FOR ONE MONTH SO FAR.
**
ABOUT US
TotallyNotSuspicious is an established SMP community created in 2018 centered around semi-vanilla gameplay. Our main priority is fostering interaction and creativity within the community. We build together on the server, host Discord game nights, chat, and more. We have server members from around the globe; we maintain open arms for anyone wishing to join an active and friendly community.
Find out more about us below!
FEATURES
We have datapacks that maintain the vanilla feel of the game. Most of the datapacks utilized are used by Hermitcraft. On the other hand, our custom datapacks are intended to enhance and protect the multiplayer experience.

• Guilds (NOT FACTIONS, just a way for friends to group together and work on community projects and live together!)
  
• Non-plugin functioning economy Custom made minigames, inbetween season events, and mini-seasons!
  
• Custom Staff & Player Events
  
• Server Performance Optimization
  
• Version: 1.19.3
  

Previous Season Images: [https://imgur.com/gallery/0PEiH5n
](https://imgur.com/gallery/0PEiH5n)
NOTE: Staff are not permitted creative mode or any command that can provide them with an advantage while playing survival. Staff are restricted and remain on the same level of any other player.
COMMUNICATION
Our community uses Discord for communication. Announcements and information are sent out regarding server events & changes. Joining the Discord is required in order to be whitelisted on the server. Applying is simple and easy. The application process is completed within the Discord Server.

• Do not steal. Taking anything of anyone else’s without their consent is considered stealing; has zero tolerance.
  
• Do not grief in any way. Ruining any sort of building without the other player’s consent is considered griefing.
  
• Do not hack or duplicate items in any way. Any sort of hacking client, hacking texture packs, and duplication methods are considered a violation.
  
• Do not advertise other servers, other Discord Servers, or post invites.
  

I am a manager at a restaurant. I was able to convince my boss, the owner, to let me do a round of significant wage increases for everyone on the team. The whole team is getting burned out from being short staffed and incredibly busy, while dealing with constant call offs, no shows, bad attitudes, and poor performances. I think that bumping up wages will bring in better talent, and keep the best of the best with us for longer.
We currently hire full time at $15/hr, and part time teens at $11/hr. All other restaurants in our area are only at $13/hr for full time. I want to bump it up to $19/hr full time and $15/hr for part time. I make $24/hr as the head manager, and I want to bump the other managers up from $21 to $23. With this increase, I did get stipulations from my boss that we need to see positive change without driving up labor costs. That's where I really hope I can find some help here.
My first plan is to have a round of reviews with the entire team. I want to talk about my expectations moving forward, and to give everyone on the team a chance to get to that point. I want to develop a formula that is transparent so nobody gets left behind making a smaller wage than someone brand new. Some things in particular I want to talk about are:
- Availability. Must be able to work most peak days/hours. No more people that are only available 2 days out of the whole week.
- Attitudes. I really want to make sure everyone looks like they want to be there. No more frowny Frans. Even the teens, I want to get the excited to serve our guests and make positive impressions.
- Performance. Everyone needs to be acting with a sense of urgency (not rushing). Many of our people tend to meander about when not busy, but that needs to change. There is always something to clean or stock.
- Adherence to rules. This is a bunch of little things like not wearing watches or jewelry, using your phone up front, not eating extra food in the kitchen, or staying out from behind the counter when clocked out. I follow all these rules, but it's hard to get everyone else on the same page when we are so stressed about the bigger picture of keeping the store running.
After the week of reviews, I will put the wage changes in for the whole team and follow up with them. Then I will make the changes live for new hires by putting it all over the sign out front, the doors, bag stuffers, everywhere to spread the word. I know that was a lot, but thanks for reading. I wanted to see if anyone else has insight on changing up their workplace with higher wages and expectations.

Beep—beep—beep—beep beep—
I lifted the thermometer I had placed in her flushed left ear.
Looking at the reading on the thermometer, it showed "38.2 C".
Although a pregnant woman’s body temperature tends to be higher, this was definitely a fever, no doubt about it.
I slowly lowered my hand holding the thermometer, looking at Hoshino-San lying on the couch, I covered my face and recalled this morning.
…
The usual morning routine, I entered the bathroom for the usual grooming and looked at myself in the mirror.
After coming out, I noticed the mobile phone on the kitchen counter was buzzing with a notification, so I checked it.
I noticed that Hoshino-San had sent me two messages.
I opened the chatroom: "Amamiya-Sensei, I think I have a fever." she messaged—ugh. She sent a sticker—a somewhat chubby white seal looking displeased with a thermometer apparently stuck up its rear—What?
I turned off the phone screen and put it into my pocket. I put on my mask, grabbed the alcohol spray, and rang the doorbell at Hoshino-San's next-door apartment.
After a moment...
…She didn't faint, did she? But then—she opened the door, her face looking somewhat flushed.
"Ah~~Uno you're here~" She—What? "Hoshino-San, are you okay?" I asked.
"Relax! I just feel a little—" she said, waving her hand forward, then her body started to fall forward—"HEY ! HOSHINO-SAN!" I quickly stepped forward to catch her, her head leaning slightly on my shoulder.
"I'll take you to the couch to rest first." I gently assisted her, helping her to lie down on the couch.
…
Looking at her lying on the couch, she was resting with her eyes closed. Apart from looking exhausted, coughing, and a runny nose, her symptoms didn't seem severe. It's possible that she started feeling unwell on the way home yesterday, and her symptoms worsened during the night, preventing her from sleeping well.
I noticed her constantly adjusting her position, so I went to her bedroom and fetched a blanket and a pillow. I gently lifted her head and put the pillow in a comfortable place for her, and then covered her with the blanket.
"Is there anywhere else you're feeling uncomfortable?" I asked her softly. "Hmm... my... my head hurts a lot." she answered weakly, her face showing discomfort and her hands gripping the blanket tightly.
She couldn't take care of herself in this state, and I couldn't bear to leave her alone. "Hoshino-San, do you feel too cold right now?" I asked her gently.
"Uh... yeah, um... yes..." she answered slowly with her eyes closed. I got up, looked around for the air conditioner remote, found it, and turned up the temperature slightly.
After that, I went to her bathroom, rinsed a plastic washbasin, filled it with seventy percent hot water and thirty percent cold water, soaked a towel in it, and brought it to the living room.
I dipped the towel in the water, then wrung out most of the water. I then gently placed the warm towel on her forehead. Her expression seemed to relax a bit.
I watched her resting quietly.
After a while, I reheated the towel and placed it on her forehead again.
"Hoshino-San, did you do anything yesterday that might have led to catching a cold?" I asked her gently. "Uh... drank too much lemon water?" she answered me.
Uh... dinner last night? If I recall correctly, she didn't drink much.
"I saw you didn't drink much lemon water yesterday, was there anything else?" I asked her gently. "Um... yesterday... I think I took a cold shower." she answered slowly.
"For a long time?" I asked her. "I... don't remember, I think... after dancing yesterday afternoon, I showered until you rang the doorbell?" she slowly—What?
She showered until I rang the doorbell? I had finished a movie before I went to see her!
"Do you only take cold showers, Hoshino-San?" I asked her gently. "Well... at the beginning there was hot water, but later it ran out." she answered slowly.
I got up and gently opened the balcony door. The water heater is the same model as mine, the movie "The Graduate" is about 100 minutes, so this water heater can provide hot water for about 20 minutes, which means... 80 minutes of a cold shower.
No wonder she caught a cold... I heard her coughing from inside.
It seemed that I had no choice today. I walked over to the railing, dialed the hospital, and waited for the call to go through.
"Hello, this is Amamiya Gorou, a gynecologist. I have an emergency to attend to. My neighbor suddenly has a fever and can't take care of herself. She has no one else to look after her. I'm sorry, I need to take a leave of absence." I said. "Understood, Amamiya-Sensei, thank you for informing us. Are you sure your neighbor's condition requires your personal care? Does she need to be taken to the hospital?" the other party asked.
"Yes, I'm worried about her condition. I believe I need to see her myself. I've already assessed her illness. I will observe her condition. If it worsens, I will take her to the hospital immediately." I replied. "We understand your situation, Amamiya-Sensei. How long do you think your leave will last?" they asked. "I estimate I will need a day. I will handle this issue as soon as possible and return to the hospital." I answered.
After some more conversation, I managed to take the leave. I started thinking about what food is good for someone with a cold.
…
To be honest, aside from catching a cold when I was a child, I don't seem to have much experience with colds. Among the people I know, the one to ask about making a meal for someone with a cold would be...
But I didn't really want to call— I heard coughing from the room.
…
Sigh. I dialed a number from my contact list, waiting for the other party to pick up.
"Hello, this is the Amamiya residence." the voice on the other side said. "Hey, Grandma, it's me—" She cut me off. "Oh! My dear grandson! How rare of you to call back home! Did you miss Grandma?" she said joyously. "Kind of, but today I wanted to—" She cut me off again. "Gorou, are you bringing your girlfriend home this time? Should I notify the relatives?" She inquired—
Yes, this is precisely why I don't fancy making these phone calls.
"No, no, no, wait a moment! Grandma! Not every time I call it means I'm bringing a girlfriend home, okay!? I have other things to discuss!" I said, burying my face in my hands.
"Well, what could be more important than you bringing back my great-grandson? Gorou, you're nearly thirty now. There are only old folks and adults in our hometown, no children or babies. I'm bored! I wouldn't mind taking care of a child again, after all, I did help raise you!" she started to ramble.
"No, Grandma, aren't you missing several steps here? It's not like once you have a girlfriend, a baby pops out, right? Can't you just let things take their natural course? And today I really didn't call to talk about this!" I answered, feeling helpless.
"So, do you have a girlfriend?" She asked. "...No." I replied.
A moment later.
"Alright then, what did you need today?" she said, sounding a little impatient. "Do you remember what you used to cook for me when I was sick? The kind that made me feel better really quickly?" I asked her.
"I don't recall having any sort of family heirloom elixir. Or are you referring to the usual meals you ate when you were sick?" She asked. "...Yes, the latter. The meals you prepared when I was ill, do you remember them?" I clarified.
"...You don't sound sick to me?" She queried. "Uh...no, it's not me—" She cut me off. "Who are you cooking for?" She asked, seemingly curious. "Well, my neighbor—" She cut me off.
"Oh!? A girl?" She—what? "Does that matter?" I asked, looking ahead. "Of course, it concerns my great-grandchild." she proclaimed proudly.
"Grandma, please, can you stop fixating on having a great-grandchild?" I said.
After a pause.
"Okay, Gorou, it was lovely chatting with you today. Let's talk again another day. Bye—" I cut her off. "ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! HOLD ON, DON'T HANG UP!" I shouted.
I took a deep breath.
"...Yes, she's a girl, are you satisfied now?" I finally answered. "Oh, I thought it might have been a boy. That's a relief." she responded—what?
"Grandma, you're being too pragmatic." I retorted. "This is about my great-grandchild—so when are you bringing her home?" she asked—wait, what?
"Grandma, first, she is my patient, second, we're not that close, and third, she's only sixteen." I responded.
"Gorou, first, so what? Does that matter? Second, you know they say 'familiarity breeds affection'! Third, I gave birth to your mother when I was sixteen." she countered—wait a minute, the third point, what the hell, sixteen? I never knew that.
"Grandma, what do you mean 'does it matter?' She's my patient, I'm an 'OB/GYN'. How do you think the baby in my patient's belly came about?" I told her seriously.
"And so?" She—really?
"Grandma, babies don't just spring from stones, nor do they reproduce asexually." I replied.
"What is reproduce asexually?" She asked.
…
"Anyway, Grandma! Times have changed. If this were to happen, I would be socially ostracized, seriously!" I told her.
"No worries! Then just wait until she's twenty! I can wait a few more years, no problem!" she said. "No, Grandma, this—wait! Today I really just called for a recipe! She's not feeling well right now, can we talk about this another time?" I asked her.
After a moment.
"Um...alright, rice porridge—add a little ginger, steam some chicken breast and dice it." she answered. "With ginger, right?" I repeated.
"Yes, you could also make her a vegetable soup! Add tomatoes, onions, and garlic. Oh yes, garlic is very important!" she instructed. "Alright, alright, garlic, got it." I echoed.
"I used to stir-fry some broccoli, but softer food is better for someone with a cold." she advised. "Mhm, I'll keep that in mind." I affirmed.
"Oh, our Gorou is finally cooking for a girl! It seems my teachings weren't in vain!" she said, laughing. "Grandma, can you not—" She cut me off.
"I thought that since the family persuaded you to become an OB/GYN, you had lost interest in cooking—"
...
Right, isn't it?
After the family convinced me to become an OB/GYN, how could they think I was still interested in cooking? I gazed at the blue sky ahead.
...
"Gorou?" She called. "Yes, Grandma, I hear you. Is that about it? I have to go, she's not feeling well." I told her. "Alright then! Don't forget to come visit Grandma when you're free! Bye!" she said. "Sure, I will, goodbye." I hung up.
...
I should have just googled it instead of putting myself through this. I looked at the black smoke billowing from the chimney in the distance.
Isn't this what they wanted? Isn't this what I had to do? Isn't this why I switched from being a surgeon to an OB/GYN?
After all, my mother—
I heard coughing from inside the room.
...
Now's not the time for these thoughts; she needs someone to look after her.
I slid open the balcony door and casually closed it behind me, moving closer to Hoshino-San, who seemed to be asleep on the sofa.
I thought about cooking at my place and bringing the meal over later, so as not to disturb her. After all, I just live next door.
Taking the key placed next to her entrance hall, I locked her door and returned to my place next door.
Back home, I took out the necessary ingredients from the fridge. To make a rice porridge with steamed diced chicken breast, I needed to find my steamer, which, luckily, I found after a brief search.
Taking out the chicken breast... ah, it needs defrosting.
Covering my face, I hadn't considered this. But I decided to use the microwave to thaw it.
I put the frozen chicken breast into the microwave and turned on the defrosting function, but I shortened the microwave time.
After each round of microwaving, I would move and turn the chicken breast. It's a bit of a hassle, but at least it ensures that every part defrosts evenly, to avoid some parts being cooked while others are raw.
Once the chicken breast was fully defrosted, it had a nice, even color—from pink to pale yellow. Despite being frozen, it was still not sticky and retained a certain firmness.
I took a sniff; it had no off-putting smell.
Next, I placed the defrosted chicken breast in the steamer and started to steam it. It should take around 20 minutes. Meanwhile, I planned to prepare a vegetable soup.
I cleaned the carrots, onions, garlic, and tomatoes, and cut them into appropriate sizes. I then grabbed a pan, heated a bit of oil, and started sautéing the garlic and onions until the onions turned semi-transparent.
Next, I added the diced carrots and tomatoes and continued to sauté for a while. A few moments later, I added an appropriate amount of water and covered the pan.
The simmering process also took about 20 minutes. By that time, I could start making the rice porridge. I picked up another pot, washed it clean, and washed a cup of rice as well, then drained the water and added four cups back.
After putting it on the stove, I turned on medium heat and slowly brought the rice to a boil until it softened. This also took about 20 minutes, by which time the porridge became thick. By then, the chicken breast was ready. I took it out and let it cool on a plate while checking on the vegetable soup.
Hmm, the scent of garlic was present but not overpowering.
A moment later, I checked on the rice porridge with a spoon. The grains were distinct but had clearly softened. When I lifted the spoon, a thin strand of white liquid was dragged up.
I diced the cooled chicken breast on a cutting board and added it to the porridge. I also prepared some ginger, grated an appropriate amount into the porridge, and waited for the ingredients to meld together.
The vegetable soup was about ready. I seasoned it with a bit of salt and pepper, then covered the pot and brought it over to Hoshino-San's house. Upon entering, I set it on the kitchen counter. She seemed to be sound asleep.
I returned home and saw that the porridge was almost ready, so I turned the heat down and picked up the frying pan, getting ready to stir-fry some broccoli.
I washed the broccoli and cut it into small pieces, then started stir-frying it in the preheated pan. During the process, I alternated between medium and low heat until the broccoli turned green and began to char slightly.
Recalling my grandmother's advice to make it softer, I added a small amount of water. After covering the pot, I turned the heat to low and let it simmer. I took the opportunity to serve the porridge to Hoshino-San, who seemed to have sensed it even in her sleep. With her eyes closed, she appeared to be smelling something.
After that, I dished out the cauliflower and added a touch of salt before bringing it over.
I took a brief rest on the sofa, picked up a tissue nearby, removed my glasses, and wiped the sweat off my face.
The morning sun was illuminating the entire room, and the wind chime on the balcony outside the glass door was gently chiming as always. The quiet hum of the air conditioning wasn't too loud.
Hoshino-San was still sound asleep on the long sofa to my left — albeit with a faint snoring due to her stuffy nose from a cold.
A little later, I went into the kitchen, picked up a bowl and spoon, lifted the pot lid, and served a bowl of porridge.
"Hoshino-San, can you eat?" I asked slowly, then brought the bowl closer to her.
I initially wanted to help her up, but she seemed to get up automatically at the scent of the food.
I handed her the bowl, and she held the spoon in her right hand with her eyes closed.
She scooped up a spoonful of porridge, then — it brushed past her upper lip.
...Uh.
She paused for a moment, then — this time it almost went into her nose.
"Hoshino-San, let me help you!" I said anxiously, fearing she might burn her nose next.
I scooped up a spoonful of porridge.
She kept her eyes closed, her delicate mouth slowly opening to let my spoon in. Once I put the spoon in, she closed her mouth, swallowed the porridge from the spoon. As I slowly pulled out the spoon, it seemed like she still wanted to keep it in her mouth.
She then swallowed, a smile creeping onto her face with her eyes still closed.
...This is just too cut-
No — no, I'm a doctor. I need to stay calm. She's my patient, and she's only sixteen.
I continued to feed her the remaining porridge.
A while later, I had managed to feed her half the bowl of porridge, and got her to have a few bites of the vegetables and vegetable soup.
She didn't seem to like garlic very much and now, with her eyes still closed, she was sitting on the sofa.
Thinking about it now, although I could take care of her all day, I don't have a car in case we need to rush to the hospital. I should contact her guardian.
"Hoshino-San, could you please..." Before I could finish, she had already laid down on the sofa and continued to sleep.
Alright then.
I helped her pull her feet onto the sofa, made her lie flat, covered her with a blanket, and planned to check her phone for an emergency dial setup to find an emergency contact.
Surprisingly, there was one.
I slid open the glass door, walked out onto the balcony, and made the call.