Hi. I was born and raised in New Jersey. I have a degree in education. I was a high school mathematics teacher and also a part time college professor. Since then I have moved to Florida and became a home owner that transition into aviation as a career. Currently working from home as an air traffic controller. This shift started when I had free time to study during the pandemic.
I like going to the beach. But unfortunately as a teacher you often stumble upon students and it is very weird and inappropriate to be seen in non professional clothing. I’ve been trying to stop drinking beer. I have a problem with drinking it as a beverage all the time. But now I limit myself to 1-2 cans a day. Now it’s just a nice refresher for when I’m at the beach. Also make sure you clean after yourself and keep the beach clean.
Im married. I don’t have any kids. I can’t actually have kids due to some issues on my end. We are trying though through other methods. Been married for 9 years. I nerd and geek out over mathematics and anything with numbers.
Husband and I are discussing the idea of potentially exploring involving another person (male) in our relationship. Not sure if that’s a weird idea or oversharing. Just at our age, we kinda figured it wouldn’t hurt to explore and be open minded. Have a few ideas. If anyone wants to engage in that topic. Also goes in line with if anyone wants to play Pictionary game. Getting random pictures of me and making comments on it with questions I might have on it.
If anyone wants to converse, I hope you read this whole thing and write back hitting every single point I shared. Dislike getting low effort messages. Hope that’s not to much to ask for.

I would like to start off by telling a lil bit about me before I say what made me write this post in the first place. I am 22 and I have never been on a date or have been in any relationship what so ever. I have been trying for years to find a boyfriend but i have had no luck. I have always thought of just giving up entirely. I’ll admit from other people, and my own opinion I am not that attractive I am a solid 3. I am the type of girl that only dress in jeans and graphic tees, also never wear makeup (nothing against it just not a fan). On good days i guess Im a 5 or 6 but thats the best I can achieve. I faced a lot of rejections in my life that hurt me deeply. This has caused me to have a lot of stress and heartache. Im an introvert so i usually go to online dating apps. I have been off and on dating apps because I always get discouraged with repeated rejections and guys not responding or communicating. What made me write this is recently I was talking to a guy and everything was going good until he asked me to come see him in person. He lived in New York and I live in Jersey basically only an hour and a few minutes away. He wasn’t really that far but I didn’t have my car yet but I knew i could always ask my friend if she would be able to take me so we can at least meet. I responded with that and if the distance would be an issue and he never responded back to me but he did read the messages. That was a while ago and it hurts to be ghosted… I just want to know where Im going wrong.

I’m in a band that is doing well. We’ve been offered a lot of cool slots and just got off tour with a fairly large indie artist in this scene. We released an album last year on a small label that got pretty warm press nationally, and we have enough saved from shows to record another one. We recently decided to have a session to pull together our goals and start pitching to management next month - and I’ve been asking literally anyone I know who I think has done this or knows better than me about it for advice, and a lot of people have been happy to advise me on how we can move forward and take that step. I am tired. I think I’ve been tired since we released - it sent me into this weird space of ‘I don’t understand how to be perceived like this and I don’t think I can handle it’, but also into ‘what’s next’ all the time. Do we have enough shows coming up? Are we still relevant? Being on tour has also made me realise that I don’t love that aspect; I eat like shit, I sleep like shit, I spend all day in the van on Instagram - and these are habits I normally don’t struggle with at all. The 30 minutes a day we’re playing is nice, and the environment is friendly, but I miss my husband and I miss being healthy and I get home and I still feel like it takes me a week to recover from it. What I do love is the writing - but since the record almost a year ago, we’ve written 3 songs. When we rehearse 2 hours is the set and 30-40 minutes is writing and writing is s l o w. I’ve written 10-12 songs that no one has looked at because we try to rotate working on everyone’s songs evenly - but I write much faster than them. They don’t like working on more than three new things at a time, but when we work on one of their songs it takes months for their lyrics to come, so we’ll just be working on the song structure and instrumental til they do, eventually. Our first album was faster - we worked on a lot of our parts digitally over the pandemic so people actually listened to the tracks I wrote and wrote their own parts at home, and there was less qualm over whose turn it was to have their song worked on (honestly, usually mine because I write fast) and then it was just a matter of actually throwing them together in rehearsal. I see my friends in the scene who have pulled management teams together and are starting to blow up now after years of graft, and I think to myself - I don’t know if I actually want that? I don’t want to be playing 45+ nights a year away from the person I love and the comfort of my own bed. And I don’t know if I think that the feeling of getting a cool interview or someone recognising/complimenting me or whatever is really worth it. I realised at the release that it makes me feel good for like 5 seconds and then after I'm like 'oh god how do I sustain this attention?' It happens sometimes and it feels okay. We cannot quit our jobs - all of us are in “professions”, half of us don’t have family to stay with if things go south. Does anyone have advice on making a project change shape, or advocating for yourself and your needs in a band that is Serious? I think I’d be a fool to totally quit - I dreamed about being in a band for years before this one started, we get along well as friends and have spent a lot of time and energy on our collaborative relationship, and everyone shows up and is reliable - but equally, I feel like I've been compromising myself for a long time to stay in it, and I feel like the parts of it that I love are kind of twisted. I'm craving (or maybe romanticising) the image of just jamming with folk, actually having the songs I write looked at, learning a piece that I didn't write just for the joy of playing.
Sorry, I know this was very long - I feel like there are a lot of moving parts to it.
TL;DR: the band I am in is doing well enough to start pitching management, but I don't want to be on tour all the time and there are organisational issues that erode at me actually enjoying it but might not really be issues for anyone else.

This week's thread is brought to you by FRIDGE BRILLIANCE

What's your favourite thing on your fridge? Or, what's on your fridge in general?
Honestly, our fridge is really practical and boring... there's a weekly planner that no one uses and a bunch of free magnets which have like, useful phone numbers on them. I recently got some sushi cat magnets for a friend as a housewarming gift... maybe I should get something more frivolous magnets of my own?

Rules

General

• PIFF starts every Friday @ Midnight NST! Credit to Slothzy and RockCroc for starting up this tradition!
• This thread is in CONTEST MODE This is to discourage downvoting in order to increase wishlist visibility and make it fairer for participants arriving throughout the day. All posts are randomized!
• Please observe all rules as outlined in our community and discussion guidelines! (Check out the nifty sidebar!)
• All individual NP items given in this thread are highly encouraged to stay under 100k//buyable. NC gifting is allowed at your own reasonable discretion. Also, UFA/UFT pets belong in the Daily Threads.
• Reminder: NEVER mention Reddit (or any variations thereof like Read It, Arr! Neopets, Blue Aliens, “that other site”, etc) or this thread on Neopets itself! We are not an officially affiliated fansite and doing so can put your account—or the ones of others—at risk of getting frozen!

Guidelines

• Please post in the following format to keep things streamlined and easy!
• Answer the awesomesauce prompt/theme for today!
• Gifting: [Tan codestones, dubloons, nerkmids, etc]
• Seeking: [Link to your JN wishlist, gallery from your UL, explanation of your collection’s theme, progress for BD training, etc]
• If your UN is not in your flair, please include the best method of contact! [Link to a lot on the Trading Post, link to your shop to donate NP, indication for preference to arrange gifts via Reddit PM, etc]
• It is encouraged and customary to copy/paste the confirmation after you send an item to another user. This helps prevent duplicate gifts in case their wishlists aren’t updated instantly! Also helps you figure out who to thank directly for being so generous~ “You have given [fantabulous item to contribute to their collection] to User '[insert UN here]'. Click the button below to continue.”
• Don’t forget to leave a courtesy upvote! (And it helps you keep track of who you’ve already gifted to!)
• If someone pays you a kindness, big or small, try to PAY-IT-FORWARD! Even if all you can afford is something small, or you can't do it quite yet, keep the kindness someone has paid you in mind and show someone else the same kindness in the future~

Courtesy

• Gift at your own discretion.
• Exercise caution when it comes to new Reddit or Neopets accounts posting on the thread.
• Spot shell accounts or free-loaders by checking them out before gifting: Sad/unfed pets? Little to no games played? Little trophy or avatar activities? Does no gallery or shop exist? No history of prior activity in this sub/unfamiliar with their UN?
• Please don’t be rude and steal other people’s TP lots if they are not intended for you.
• There is to be no begging or harassment of any kind.
• Report any suspicious individuals to the mods! This thread is a free-for-all chaotic mess most of the time and not micro-managed in any manner

This week's thread is brought to you by bucket list items!

Neopets or IRL, what are some goals you would want to achieve one day?
I think I'm pretty much satisfied with what I have on Neopets, but I guess getting All-Star for Altador Cup again is on that list. In terms of real life, I just want to move out, but still be close to all my local friends. Just get settled with the general basics.

Rules

General

• PIFF starts every Friday @ Midnight NST! Credit to Slothzy and RockCroc for starting up this tradition!
• This thread is in CONTEST MODE This is to discourage downvoting in order to increase wishlist visibility and make it fairer for participants arriving throughout the day. All posts are randomized!
• Please observe all rules as outlined in our community and discussion guidelines! (Check out the nifty sidebar!)
• All individual NP items given in this thread are highly encouraged to stay under 100k//buyable. NC gifting is allowed at your own reasonable discretion. Also, UFA/UFT pets belong in the Daily Threads.
• Reminder: NEVER mention Reddit (or any variations thereof like Read It, Arr! Neopets, Blue Aliens, “that other site”, etc) or this thread on Neopets itself! We are not an officially affiliated fansite and doing so can put your account—or the ones of others—at risk of getting frozen!

Guidelines

• Please post in the following format to keep things streamlined and easy!
• Answer the awesomesauce prompt/theme for today!
• Gifting: [Tan codestones, dubloons, nerkmids, etc]
• Seeking: [Link to your JN wishlist, gallery from your UL, explanation of your collection’s theme, progress for BD training, etc]
• If your UN is not in your flair, please include the best method of contact! [Link to a lot on the Trading Post, link to your shop to donate NP, indication for preference to arrange gifts via Reddit PM, etc]
• It is encouraged and customary to copy/paste the confirmation after you send an item to another user. This helps prevent duplicate gifts in case their wishlists aren’t updated instantly! Also helps you figure out who to thank directly for being so generous~ “You have given [fantabulous item to contribute to their collection] to User '[insert UN here]'. Click the button below to continue.”
• Don’t forget to leave a courtesy upvote! (And it helps you keep track of who you’ve already gifted to!)
• If someone pays you a kindness, big or small, try to PAY-IT-FORWARD! Even if all you can afford is something small, or you can't do it quite yet, keep the kindness someone has paid you in mind and show someone else the same kindness in the future~

Courtesy

• Gift at your own discretion.
• Exercise caution when it comes to new Reddit or Neopets accounts posting on the thread.
• Spot shell accounts or free-loaders by checking them out before gifting: Sad/unfed pets? Little to no games played? Little trophy or avatar activities? Does no gallery or shop exist? No history of prior activity in this sub/unfamiliar with their UN?
• Please don’t be rude and steal other people’s TP lots if they are not intended for you.
• There is to be no begging or harassment of any kind.
• Report any suspicious individuals to the mods! This thread is a free-for-all chaotic mess most of the time and not micro-managed in any manner~

I have been in a relationship for 2.5 years now. This is my first relationship (but my gf has had two previous ones).
I would describe our relationship as mostly very happy and satisfying - I have never felt this close to a person or had this sort of a bond with anyone before, and this is quite literally the truth. I am an introvert and am socially awkward and reclusive (the sort that would stay in than go out), and being an overachiever since my childhood didn't help - regardless of how helpful, kind, understanding and open I try to be, I have trouble making friends (indeed, have been "used" by some several times).
My girlfriend is my first genuine friend (and possibly the only one as well atm) - for people who are wondering how I ended up dating someone, its due to the pandemic. People like me are a bit more talkative online and we hit it off (there was also some luck involved) due to my sense of humour.
However, we have developed fractures in our relationship for the past year. For my side, I have some issues - the main one is about her hanging out with others. Before anyone gives me hell for this, lemme clarify - I have trust issues (childhood sexual abuse; happens in guys too, yes) and have been socially isolated for most of my life from peers. In short, I have never been able to express my affection/emotions to others and have never received verbal affirmation of affection or acknowledgement from parents/anyone else which has led me to constantly seek external validation and affirmation.
My trust issues lead me to be jealous of others and I have known this to be completely wrong from day one. Nevertheless, we talked (and fought) about this at the very beginning (when things opened up after lockdowns and I finally realised that my girlfriend is actually social and extroverted - around last year), but even at that time, I acknowledged this as my problem and told her I would work on it. And, I did - mostly by engaging myself in something I loved doing when I knew she was out with friends (so that I didn't feel left out). It worked well (and my tendency to get upset reduced to nearly nothing). It was not a smooth journey, and there were a handful of times we fought, but right now, even she will agree that I have more or less overcome it.
Even then, our relationship was not the same as in the beginning - she took time out for friends and I took time out for myself as well regardless of whether she was free or not, and adding to our hectic schedule, this kind of increased the distance between us (we no longer talked as often throughout the day as we used to). However, things recently became worse - I mentioned that I would pretty much die for some validation and affirmation, and I have not been getting it from her for the past ~ 5 months. She doesn't say "I love you"s as often as she did, she has completely stopped saying things like "I miss you" or "I wish you were here" and so on. I have raised this issue several times with her and we have fought all times (I don't really remember what her defense was, but we did spiral away from this issue to others). While we generally have had a healthy and honest relationship, we tend to have intense fights since both of us are temperamental and stubborn, so the distance has just increased after each blow-up.
Recently, she has been very busy as well (both of us are Master's students) with some extra lab work and for the past 3 - 4 months, it's been very difficult to go on dates for even an hour. I didn't mind this, I am very pressed for time as well usually, but not to the extent of not having 1 hour in 3 months (we live separately and it isn't possible for us to meet after 6 say; not like it matters, she works till 9). What I have noticed however is that she has had time for hangouts with friends in this time (recently in fact) and has taken days off to go out with family; I have seen her choose to be a bit late (like 30 minutes?) for her work too, so she could hangout with friends after classes. In the same time, I have tried to get her to go out with me for even an hour or so, she either has classes or she says that she doesn't want to eat random stuff (not on a diet) or that she has to work in her lab (even if its 1 hour in the middle of classes). I didn't say anything at first, but in a recent fight, I said what had been on my mind - her recent idea of eating "healthy" and her insistence to visit her lab (even if it is for 15 minutes) instead of meeting up with me were excuses to not spend time with me and she obviously enjoys the company of her friends more than her boyfriend - she took it differently to what I expected and accused me of trying to make her choose between her friends and me (not my intention - I did not control my jealousy just to do this) and then said she was really stressed and had to work a lot and "you should at least be the most understanding but idk you're not" and that our schedules never matched (not true again) and that she always tried to control her diet (once again, not true - she does have insecurities regarding her weight, which I do not mind at all, and she has often said she would like to diet, but hasn't yet started and she has eaten out occasionally even in the middle of all this). Anyways, there was no resolution but we made up - we even went out a couple of times last month, though not for long.
Well, recently she told me she wanted to take a break from our relationship - needed time to think if she was ready for one (we're dating for 2.5 years) and that it would be beneficial for me too since it would be refreshing for me to meet new people (I am out for around 2 months in the summer at the different place for a project - I am not a social person, so I am sure she is aware that it would definitely not be refreshing for me to meet new people). I gave her a choice - break up or stay and work on our problems. She hemmed and hawed (this is where I got emotional and said things like "I have no one else; I'll just go back to being lonely af" and she said, "I am tired of being your only friend") and while she did decide to stay and work things out, I came off feeling that I was inadequate (because she explicitly stated several times that people in love decide to stay together despite the fact that they don't need each other).
For the past couple weeks (this was 3 weeks ago), I have moved to the new place and been adjusting - I text her throughout the day on what's going on, the new cuisine, my work and stuff - she works through the day till like 9 - 9.30 at night. She calls me at that time and tells me about her day, and replies to my texts later (if she doesn't fall asleep). We've not fought since then, but we've not had the chance to either tbh.
In any case, I am a bit in a dilemma - she still doesn't say ilys (unless I say it first) or stuff as I mentioned, she seems to have forgotten how insecure I am and desperate for affirmation, and I remember her saying "not needing" me quite vividly. All in all, I don't know if she actually wants to be with me and the fact that I am of no use to her (quite literally - earlier she used to talk about her problems and stuff, and that honesty has gone down with time and I really don't know why; I was always an understanding and non-judgemental listener and she has said so herself several times but now it really seems like she doesn't need a shoulder; even when I am upset, she rarely asks what's wrong) stings. I feel like she is taking me for granted (I have always done a lot of supportive stuff for her - staying up late to support her emotionally and mentally when she had stuff to work on, giving her a shoulder to cry on, always encouraging her, making her proud of her body; I may have been jealous, but I also had a lot of affection stored up since my childhood that I lavished on her) and I have mentioned this to her but to no avail really - whenever I raise an issue like this where you'd expect a partner to be understanding, she gets defensive (as if I were accusing her of something), and we fight on everything under the sun and reach no resolution. Recently (after that take a break stuff), she said she'd not send me nudes for now because she is not as comfortable as before - I didn't cause an issue on that, it would have been wrong to, but I can't help feel upset either (not because she won't send pics - she's not sent me a pic in like 6 months), it's more like I always prided myself on being a safe space for her and now I am not even that and it really hurts. Since we seemed to be doing better the past few weeks, I asked her a couple of days ago if she'd say she was comfortable now (once again, I have/had no intention of asking for a picture), but she said that while it was better, she was not there yet - it stung me (though I did not raise an issue again). If you have been following this rather long rant, I'm sure you'd know that it's not the action that hurts me, but the reason behind it (that she no longer sees me as a safe space).
Anyways, I just want to know... Should I let her go? I don't want to take a break, because it's not going to benefit me in any way, I'll just not be able to talk or text the only person I can in a new place where I know no one else - on the other hand, I am 100% sure she doesn't have anyone lined up either, idk how I know this, but she's not that kind of person. I don't want a break up (both of us still have feelings, I do, and she says she does and I have no reason to not believe her), but well, maybe sometimes that is the right thing to do. At the same time, we know we love each other and that is evident in the ease/comfort we have around each other when we are together (this is a big sign, especially for me), so maybe it's not over yet?
TL;DR - GF seems to take me for granted and won't listen or resolve issues I have in the relationship; says she's not as comfortable and wanted to take a break - Should I breakup or stay and hope it will work out?

Part-Time Job Opportunities and Paid Internships for UAE Students
Introduction: The UAE government has introduced a new decree that allows students on university sponsorship to engage in part-time work after obtaining a permit from the Ministry of Labour. This article explores the details of the decree, including the eligibility criteria, application process, and benefits for students seeking part-time job opportunities and paid internships.

1. Eligibility and Regulations: Under the new decree, students aged 15 and above who are enrolled in universities can apply for part-time work while pursuing their degrees. This initiative aligns with the UAE Labour Law and provides a legal framework for students to gain work experience.
2. Finding Part-Time Job Opportunities: Universities and other portals often advertise part-time job vacancies and paid internship opportunities for students. Interested students can attend interviews for these positions, ensuring a suitable match between their skills and the job requirements.
3. Application Process: Upon selection, students must provide their employer with a no-objection certificate from their parents and the university they are enrolled in. Additionally, a copy of their Emirates ID is required. The employer then proceeds to apply for a temporary work permit from the Ministry of Human Resources and Emiratisation (MOHRE) on behalf of the student.
4. Benefits for Students: Engaging in part-time work or paid internships offers several benefits for UAE students. These include:

• Gaining practical work experience in their field of study, enhancing their skills and knowledge.
• Developing a professional network and establishing connections within their chosen industry.
• Earning income to support their personal expenses or contribute towards their education fees.
• Acquiring valuable insights into the corporate environment and potential career paths.

5. Compliance with Regulations: It is essential for students and employers to comply with the regulations set by the Ministry of Labour and MOHRE. This includes adhering to working hour restrictions, maintaining a healthy work-study balance, and fulfilling the terms and conditions outlined in the temporary work permit.
Conclusion:
The introduction of part-time job opportunities and paid internships for UAE students provides them with a valuable avenue to gain practical experience, develop their skills, and contribute to their personal growth and financial well-being. By following the application process and complying with the regulations, students can make the most of these opportunities while pursuing their university education.
More visit dubaicareers.com

Heya! I'm Aidan. 😊 I'm looking for a serious relationship (open to long-distance). About me:

• I'm a 24-year-old white male from Melbourne, Australia.
• I'm 6"0 (183cm) tall, slim and athletic. I eat healthily and look after myself.
• I have a Law/Science degree, I'm very soon a lawyer.
• I have numerous hobbies and interests, and I enjoy meeting new people!

My interests include:

• Learning new things (I was on TV on a trivia show)!
• Socialising and meeting new people.
• Watching and playing sports - especially football (soccer) and tennis.
• Going out on adventures with people - hiking, exploring museums, etc.
• Watching movies - especially action and comedy.
• Being creative - I enjoy graphic design!
• Exercising, staying fit and healthy.

I'm interested in a relationship with a kind and compassionate female who cares about their career and future, is also non-religious and looks after themselves health-wise. I'm attracted to Caucasian girls, and others too but not Asians unfortunately.
If you feel there may be a spark between us, feel free to reach out and I'd love to talk with you. :) Please be interesting in your initial message, and don't just send a "hey" or "hi". Thanks!

Can someone explain this comment taken from steroids
"I used to be whiter then casper, did 100mcg for 5 days tanned for 4 mins third day, then another 4 mins 5th day and on the 6th day i was enrique iglesias. that was 4 years ago, now i take a booster shot once every 4-6 weeks to maintain, and every now and then throw in one before a weekend out in the sun, this has changed my life for the better far more then AAS."
Is this possible? Related to this, Derek from MPMD has said he slowly built up to 250mcg over time but then later that he "can maintain a very dark and healthy looking tan with only one 250 mcg shot per week and a little bit of UV exposure."
So at what point can you begin to change your protocol? I've found very little info about this..

This summer vacation rosy and her family went to their ancestral home in New Jersey their was rumors that the house was built by her ancestors for hiding their black magic in 1896 many children were went missing near the house but one day a person saw one of the people who lived their murrding 2 children and performing a spell the person ran to the village and told every people and the village people went to the house and saw blood dripping from. The house 2nd floor the killed many family members the beeged for forgiveness but the village people didn't show mercy so the family gave them a curse that no one will never come to this house if someone comes they will die so many years no one came but rosy grand father bought this home but his grand father died very soon after he bought the house he left the house to rosy but rosy didn't believe in this story he and her husband went to the house and stayed they planned to stay there for a long time but rosy husband went for a business trip so rosy was alone in the house but one day rosy heard some thing in the 2nd floor she slowly went to 2nd floor and opens the door and some energy pulls her from Bhiend and claws her throat and kills her her husband attends her funeral she was buried under the houses back yard the ghost smiles and leaves for his home killing one more person.

I don’t know if I’m just being dramatic or jealous or even toxic. I fully admit to having some toxic traits from past relationships and childhood trauma, but I fully understand that my actions have consequences and I always make sure I’m doing right by my loved ones and I continue to work on myself every day. However, with everything that’s happened these past 3 years, I don’t know how to feel. In the beginning, it was great, just fun and adventure. We had friends over, hung out with his brother and sister-in-law all the time, and she became one of my closest friends (this will come in context). Over time though, the arguments started, and I thought it was normal like other couples but then it happened with anything I talked about. The first argument we ever got in he left the house without telling me where he was going. My bf also has a history of suicidal tendencies, so him leaving like that would make me panic. That continued for 2 years. We would get in arguments over nothing, and I felt as if he would gaslight me about everything. Or just trying to bring up an online topic and have it turn into a full blown argument. I will admit too, I had moments where I got heated first, it usually was about things that I felt personally connected with, and he would use this tone and wording that makes you feel so stupid. He would laugh and interrupt me. He would switch the topic around on me. He threatened to break up with me at least 6 times. When we lived together in our own place, he at one point threw my phone at me and told me to “call my parents to pick me up bc we’re done”. He’s also called me psychotic and dumb in these arguments for just saying how I feel. Then he dropped 6 months in that he wants to open up our relationship. And I have past trauma from doing this and having my partner cheat on me the whole time, and my bf knew this, but I said I was willing to try again. It then turned into a constant pressure of me finding other women to join us. But this isn’t exactly something I’m into. Once I’m in love, that’s the only person I see. But he said once he heard me and my friend talking about our part experiences (our ex’s cheating on us) he told me he wished he had more experience growing up and wants that now, but doesn’t want to lose me so he wants both. I tried, we had 3 threesomes, most I enjoyed, one was awkward, but still a fun time. But then he started saying they didn’t count bc he didn’t get to experience what he wanted, which he then admitted as solo sex with another woman pretty much. I found his secret porn accounts asking people for videos and messages. He blamed it on his childhood trauma. He stopped but it still was strong in my head. We would still argue about nothing during all of this, which made sex even harder for me. I didn’t want to invite another woman in a bed I wasn’t really happy in at the time. Plus financial issues we’re getting hard. It then came to the point where we were unable to open up the relationship due to the living situation, and he still pressured me for not finding women to join. I couldn’t satisfy him for months, he would go soft in the middle, and I would be doing everything I could. So after a bit of this, we got in another argument over me not finding other women to join, even though we were living with my parents at this time. I told him I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around him because of how reactive he gets and that’s when he called me psychotic and broke up with me after 2 years of dating, and went in to tell my parents that he was leaving. I was in shock. But he got on the phone with his brother to make sleeping arrangements and told my family he was leaving, so I assumed it was true. So I have him his bag to pack his things and I left the room while he packed. He left that day and I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. We didn’t text for 4 days. After 4 days, he texted me, wanting me back and regretting all he did the other day. I told him all my conditions if we were to get back together (individual therapy, couples therapy, patience, time) and he agreed. Then he broke my heart. He confessed that the day he broke up with me, he went to his brothers to sleep, and had his sister-in-law give him oral sex while his brother watched. One of my best friends gave her friends boyfriend and her brother-in-law oral sex the day he left me. She blamed me for getting angry and blocked me on everything. My bf still defends the situation, saying we were broke up, but I would NEVER do anything like that to him or her. And that’s what I told him. Since then, he’s gotten better and is slowly improving. He puts more effort in showing me love. The arguments have gone down, he’s not as reactive. But he’s still asking for other women, and now won’t really admit the anger he used to show me, especially in the break-up argument. I love him, I truly do, and I always will. I see the child he was, the teen I met him as, and the adult he is now. I see so much brightness in him, but I feel like I can’t heal from these past three years with him, and that I can’t be the version I need to be for him anymore. I feel like I’m not the person he needs anymore. I want to marry him, to spend the rest of my life with him, but I don’t know if either of us would be truly happy. He’s said he thinks he’s poly, but I’ve told him I’m very monogamous, but I’m bisexual, so he thinks I should be okay with inviting other people in bed, which maybe like every once in a while but when I feel stable in a relationship. That’s all I’ve asked from him, is time and stability in the relationship and I’d be okey opening up, but he doesn’t want to “lose his youth” and wants new experiences right now. I just want a healthy, calm, loving relationship before opening up. And it’s kind of like that now, but it really feels like the past two years are just shameful memories he’s trying to push out, when that’s all I can think of at night. All the good and the bad. Am I crazy for thinking like this? Am I overthinking this? Should I break up with him? Thank you so so much for reading all of this if you did. <3

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