Ever since I (22F) was young, my parents have been toxic. They are both alcoholics, fight constantly, and are abusive to each other and my brother (19M) and I. My mom specifically emotionally abused me from a young age. She would manipulate me and guilt trip me constantly, and I had always been forced between my parents fights. I was often told they couldn’t get a divorce because of me. My mom cheated on my dad last year and told me first before anyone else and made me keep it a secret. It was awful and caused me PTSD which I’m going to therapy for. Thankfully I moved away to school when I was 17, and since last year I’ve been living with my boyfriend (23M) of 7 years when I’m not at school. It’s helped me a lot to be physically separated from my parents. I’ve set a lot of boundaries with them and told them im very hurt with how my childhood was (feeling neglected, used, emotionally responsible, etc). While I’m happy to be out, my brother is stuck. He just finished college and is trying to work and save money to move out. He stays away from my parents as much as possible, but is still financially dependent on them. He’s become greatly affected by their problems and has opened up to me recently about how he has suffered with alcohol addiction. He says he tries to stop but my parents peer pressure him to drink and smoke more. My mom is starting to emotionally abuse him the way she always did to me. He’s shown me texts from her where she bombards him with useless info and makes guilt tripping comments. I try to spend as much time with my brother as possible. Me and my bf have him for dinner often and told him he’s always welcome to sleep here. His gf (18F) is also very sweet and supportive of him and I can tell she wants the best for him.
Any wise words from someone who’s been through this? I’m continuing therapy every two weeks and trying to break away from feeling emotionally responsible for my parents. But I’m very protective of my brother and want to help him and keep him safe. I’m just struggling a lot.

Hello ladies! I hope you are having a nice day, and if not, that you find someone who can bring a smile to your face! I come to you looking for a consistent chat partner with whom I can hopefully develop an emotionally intimate relationship with. I’m open to anything that happens, but not looking to rush into anything. Let’s just chat, spend time together and see where it goes?
I’m very left leaning, child-free and emotionally available. I’m a tall, hairy and chunky boy, happy to provide pictures of myself and my cats on request! I love board games, television and film, history, animal care and food of all kinds. I am a big proponent for being active in local community support organizations and do my best to be a faithful friend. I’m far from perfect, but making other people laugh or smile is what makes my day!
I currently have three foster cats who take up a lot of my time, as I am working on socializing two of them who were born outside. We are making great progress! I’d love to meet another animal lover, as my eventual dream would be to open up an animal sanctuary that doubles as a therapy center for humans. I have an unbreakable love for animals, and faith in their ability to help us heal. I think seeing a battered, scarred or withdrawn animal come out of their shell, seeking love, attention and comfort is one of the most rewarding things on the planet.
I’m a sucker for a cute giggle or laugh, freckles, curly hair and genuine passion about what interests you. Intelligence and emotional maturity are big things for me, but I’d also love someone to watch trashy reality TV with! Tell me about your pets, your D&D campaign, your favorite movie, or your dirty little secret! Let’s get to know each other. Please give me more than ‘hey’ or ‘how are you’ to work with!

Hey there!
I feel kind of numb right now and I know some attention, banter and flirty words would feel great.
Just to make sure you actually read the post, add the name of the last food you had to your message. I put that request more or less in the middle on purpose. Feel free to make it a topic of conversation if that's something a bit unusual. Who knows maybe you've had something fancy. If not we can always start off with 20 questions or something and see where it leads.
I'm into science fiction, cats, witty tv shows, not dogs, I own a few shiny rocks. I enjoy memes, I paint wargaming minis (you're free to look up my post history because I will look up yours). I love weird stuff and arcane knowledge. Useless facts are the best and you never know when you’re going to be able to share some with people.
If you think we could vibe well together and if you share at least some interests and you've read so far, all you have to do is message me!
Talk to you soon :)

Hi Reddit,
So I’ve been battling how to approach this situation with a friend for some time. We text daily, but I recently went on vacation for my birthday (which she forgot) and needed some space and didn’t text her for a few days. She immediately started double, triple, and quadruple texting me, in addition to calls and FaceTimes to get me to answer. This has happened before when I was sick, and she even texted my boyfriend at one point to find out why I wasn’t responding after just 1 day. This behavior of hers has caused some serious turmoil for me, as I feel pressured and anxious about responding. I feel that if I now decide to stop texting for just a few days, I can’t just pick up from where I left off. I feel like I have to give her a full explanation as to why I couldn’t respond and it gives me major anxiety. And it’s not like her texts are important. These are literally texts that ask me how my day is going or how work is going. These are repetitive texts that I have no answers for sometimes. I’m sick of the distracting small talk.
This friend is supportive and great otherwise. But man is she clingy. Well, recently I sent her a text after I hadn’t responded for a few days (after thinking about how to respond for like an hour lol) telling her I couldn’t hangout because I just got back from vacation and seeing my parents and didn’t have the energy I wanted to give. I told her I’d be dissociating the entire time (which is true, because I have a lot of stressors on my plate right now with family and my job) and wanted to hangout with her at another time. She took great offense to this and responded with passive aggressiveness and manipulative language. She said something along the lines of: “reach back out to me when you have the energy to give. I don’t want to look like an idiot for reaching out anymore. I’m very hurt by the distance you’ve caused in our friendship”. Mind you, this is all because I didn’t respond for a few days (as I was vacationing for my birthday with my family)! Throughout the vacation I even sent a few texts here and there letting her know I needed a break from my phone and still loved and missed her. I have only know this girl for a year but she has thrown the term “best friend” and “love” out so much that i have begun saying it as well, even though it makes me uncomfortable. This is our first roadblock and really might be our last because I don’t want to stay friends with this person anymore. As much as I loved talking to her, this attachment style is too much for me.
I come to Reddit for thoughts and opinions. Is this friend worth keeping? I have never had such a clingy friend before. She has very little friends, no family (that talks to her at least) and a rocky relationship with her boyfriend.

Company Name	Title	City
Region V Services	Intake Liaison	Beatrice
Cargill	Poultry Processor	Columbus
Madison County Assessor	Office Clerk	Madison
Lumen Inc	Cloud Program Manager	Omaha
US Foods	Sales Agent	Omaha
Apex Staffing	Warehouse Worker	Omaha
Region V Services	Direct Support Person	Wahoo
Buzz's Marine	Marketing Producer	Kearney
Buzz's Marine	Lead of Accessories	Kearney
Buffalo County Fairgrounds	Porter	Kearney
Buzz's Marine	Immediate Openings Parts Accessories Manager Kearney	Minden
Buzz's Marine	Immediate Openings Marketing Director Full Time Kearney	Minden
Buffalo County Fairgrounds	Immediate Openings Custodian Kearney	Minden
Educational Service Unit #8	Immediate Openings Technology Director Neligh	Neligh
Educational Service Unit #8	Immediate Openings Technology Director Neligh	Pierce
HealthCare Support	Director of Nursing / Registered Nurse	Emerson
McCain Foods	Occupational Health Nurse - Relocation Assistance Available!	Grand Island
Sono Bello	LVN or LPN	Omaha

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in ne. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

I’ve been best friends with a girl for over 13 years. We meet when we were 19 and now we’re in our early thirties. Let’s call this friend Emily. The first two years of our friendship started off well until the copying and weirdness began. I was best friends with this one girl named Amy. Amy and I hung out everyday, spoke every day. Amy and I were part of a friend group that included two boys. We did everything together. From time to time we would invite Emily and others into the group but not often. Then one day Amy out the blue decided she no longer wanted to be my friend and started to hang out with Emily. After consistently reaching out to Amy and try and talk it out and being ignored I couldn’t figure out why Amy had such a sudden change of heart on our friendship. Emily and her became best friends. Fast forward one year, I began hanging out with this other girl named Erica. I started to bring Emily around and soon enough Erica stopped speaking me to me and became closer Friends with Emily. At this point I’m thinking to myself this feels weird…but I ultimately chalk it up to growing pains and people changing and growing apart. I noticed that if I invited Emily to a family event, she would then sent a fb or IG invite to my friends and cousins even after one meet up and even though they didn’t talk or hang out. Emily always spoke about never wanting to have kids or be married. That it wasn’t her thing. Fast forward to 5 years later and my 5 year boyfriend and I got engaged. Less than one month later she tells me she got married to her 5 month boyfriend. She stated she suggested they marry so they went to city hall and eloped. I then started working in the HR field and she suddenly wanted to work in HR too. I got my nose pierced and sure enough she got her nose pierced too. Fast forward a few more years, I start my own business in a very unique market. And here comes Emily and announces that she wants to do the same thing. I start a small non-profit and sure enough emily announced that she wants to start one too. Now this is where I think it gets more serious. My mom was diagnosed with cancer, I had a hard time with this as you can imagine. As my mom and I work through her chemo Emily suddenly tells the group that she suspects her mom is sick and is hiding it from her. She tells us stories of her mom or dad being sick on how she’s always worried. My mom passed away shortly after. Emily is then constantly crying because she’s scared of losing her parents. While I’m in disbelief someone is trying to appropriate my grief. After my mom passed I decided I wanted to focus on starting a family and begin trying to get pregnant. Sure enough here comes Emily fresh from a divorce after just dating a guy for 6 month announces that she too wants to try and get pregnant and focus on family. Am I the crazy one ?

A woman catches two little grays in fraganti, while having a midnite snack.
https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13tqwsc/strange_reoccurring_dream_and_close_encounter_30/
...
Some of these childhood posts reminded me of a lifelong mystery that has stuck with me.
When I was a small boy I lived in an old house on a street corner in a rural part of the country back in the mountains. My bedroom was on the corner of the house on a hillside, and out of my bedside window was a street that went up the hill, and a small bit of yard between it and the window.
I vividly remember a series of reoccurring dreams over a period of years. I would awaken in the middle of the night to a bright light outside of my window, and a buzzing sound. I would be compelled to get out of bed, no matter the weather outside, and hurry out through the front door of the house. I would rush down the dozen or so front stairs and run around the side of the house towards the light. As soon as I would round the corner, the light, a blinding blue white beam, would shine on me and paralyze me, and then I would convulse and tip my head back. I would black out.
I would awaken in my bed in the morning, remembering the dream, and feel like I hadn’t slept at all. It happened many times over years until I became a teenager. It just stopped and largely faded out as remembered secret nightmare I never shared.
Fast forward ten or so years later and I had moved out as an adult. My mother and father still lived there. My mother liked to have a midnight snack and would creep into the kitchen, and stand by the kitchen window that overlooks the same road.
One night, she was there in the dark having some toast. The streetlight was casting a soft glow over the road and something caught her eye. Walking down the road from the top of the hill were two little people. They were the stereotypical little greys. She watched them calmly walk side by side, chirping like birds. As they neared, They suddenly stopped and slowly turned their heads to the window and looked at her for a moment. She was frozen with fear. They both then crouched down and began running on all fours down the hill and into the woods towards the river.
She didn’t sleep that night and couldn’t believe what she saw. In her 60s, she wasn’t interested in paranormal or supernatural things in the least. Yet, here was something in front of her. She was deeply disturbed and serious as a heart attack when she told me.
So… two odd things on that country street.
...

This is a weird one, not sure how to explain it so here goes..
My girlfriend and I have been together for close to 7 months. Her ex is the definition of controlling and possessive, lets call him John. They were together for over a decade and have a kid. John and the kid are in their home country since before xmas. John doesn’t know about me and her being together. She says she hides it so she doesn’t loose her kid, also so John doesn’t use her kid against her.
Imo she already lost the kid to John “side” by letting them go to their home country again. The kid has had John and John’s family in his ear the entire time, doing nothing all day. Not even school, as they plan was the kid to come back.
Here’s the catch, the kid doesn’t want to come back without John and wants them to be a happy family again and live together. Whereas my girlfriend doesn’t want to live with John again. She doesn’t want to live with John ever again, which I don’t blame her given the things she told me. John did the usual stuff a possessive and controlling person do. Beating, going through belongings and her phone, screaming at her in front of the kid and not letting her have any friends at all.
Recently she keeps ranting about it how much of a tw*t he is which is fair enough. John expects whenever he calls her for her to answer immediately, when she doesn’t he’ll keep calling and spamming the phone. She says she’ll block him etc. but never keeps to it as her kid is still with John. He demands photos of proof she is doing the thing she says but he can do whatever he wants. Which is only encouraged by his family.
This brings me to the most recent sh*tshow. After getting in last night we (gf and I) tried to watch tv before bed, but John spammed her in the same way as I mentioned before prior to getting him. She called John when we got back home and had a go at him. The day after, we’re eating lunch and I see her taking a photo of her food. I asked her why she’s taking a photo of her food as I’ve never seen her do it before. She said she always has and turned to me and said “am I not allowed to take a photo of my food?”, to which I said, “I’m not saying you need permission I just asked why” she said I’m annoying sometimes and I said how so. Apparently by asking a lot of questions, (I asked her once). She then gave in and said she just like to when it looks good. I thought fair enough but it was chips in a bowl with ketchup.
Anyhow, after she took the photo her phone buzzed and I know it was John as he’s the only one that talks to her, other than myself and obviously I’m not talking to her via phone if she’s right next to me. I thought it was suspicious moments after her taking a photo of the food John texts her. She slipped up and ended up showing the conversation when she opened it and I saw she sent the photo of the chips to John.
I’m afraid she’ll always be under John’s influence, but I don’t know if it’s because she’s keeping on his good side so she doesn’t loose the kid, or if it’s because she can’t let go of something. The thing that bothers me is that she lied to my face. I don’t know how to bring it up as it seems like a small thing but at the same time a big thing.
I needed say it as I don’t have anyone to talk to either so yeah. There we go Reddit.

Hey. How are you going?
I’m 29 years old from Sydney. I work in CBD. Looks wise - I’m 188cm, have black hair, brown eyes, a dad bod and wear glasses.
Some of my hobbies and interests include going on long drives, hiking, reading, watching soccer, lately I’ve started watching rugby league and exploring new places and trying new foods. I love standup comedy and used to go watch it almost every weekend before 2020, would love to have someone to go watch some shows again. I know the best korean bbq and Korean buffet places in the town. I like to cuddle and sometimes love being lazy and just staying in on weekends.
Looking for a girl who is looking for something not too serious with the potential to become serious, and is kind and understanding.
Tell me a bit about yourself when you message. Happy to swap photos and talk elsewhere once we match :)
Thaaanks. See you in the messages.

I’ve got around 2.5 acres that I have been planting trees on for the past 4-5 years. The trees are still small and have a ways to go but I want to begin planting them more strategically to accommodate a small trail on the property. We have trails in the area but my situation doesn’t allow me to leave the house for extended periods of time.
What is the best way to go about planning a path on the property?
The property is essentially a very mild slope with a few flat areas to cut up in and a couple short aggressive drops. I have to keep in mind the waste water sprinklers but can map around those. I’ve gotten out there with my bike a few times and have a general idea of what I want but how do I map it and track it on the land?
My goal is to have at least a 1/4 mile single rider path, I’m ok with sharp turns and switch backs. I’d also like to open it up to friends if they want to ride it from time to time.

Not an urgent question or anything but i'm just interested and i think on dogs might be people who know a lot more about dog psychology than i do.
There was a lone piece of kibble in fron of his bowl, and i showed it to him. Showing him his food makes him always act really... abashed? Not sure that's the right word for it, but he steps back, shakes his head a little and tries to touch the bowl with his paw.
Anyways he wasn't interested in the bit so i took a treat that he likes that you can break up into little bits, and threw it to him. The second to last one i threw the kibble instead. He spit it out and i obv gave him the rest of the treat afterwards, but i think now he's a little mad at me.
Can dogs even understand the concept or a trick or a prank? We're all good but i'm still interested to know.

Hey everyone. As a bit of background, I'm a former FAA Aviation Safety Inspector (ASI). No, I'm not your_friendly_asi, though I've communicated with them. I've previously posted about my path to 1500 hours, and I've made incognito comments about what the FAA is or isn't likely do while I was employed as an ASI. However, the FAA's social media policy is both ambiguous and strict, so I was careful about what I said. Now that I'm no longer employed, I'm comfortable sharing a bit more about the ASI job, and what the FAA (either as an agency, as a FSDO, or as an individual ASI) is likely to do in certain circumstances.
Of course, one of the biggest concerns as a pilot is what happens when you become the subject of a FAA investigation, whether you were the one that screwed something up or you were caught by proxy (i.e. as someone's instructor). There are a lot of misconceptions among the pilot community about what's going to happen to you, and what you need to do. So, let's talk about it!
Obligatory note that I am no longer employed with the Federal government of the FAA, and that the information below is my personal viewpoint and not an official position of the FAA. All of this information is available publicly via FAA orders which dictate how investigations and deviations are handled. I'm not telling you anything secret or proprietary here. Also note that each FAA office can operate a little differently, but still be within the policies and guidance.

Why would the FAA investigate me?

The FAA is charged with investigating anything which falls within it's 9 "areas of responsibility", as mandated by Congress and 49 USC. See FAA order 8020.11, as revised. Those areas include the competency of FAA-certificated airmen, and violations of Federal Aviation Regulations (14 CFR). Therefore, if the FAA becomes aware that there is a possibility that you may have violated a regulation or that you might not be competent for whatever reason, the FAA is mandated to look into it.
You would probably find yourself in this situation after making some sort of error or mistake. It's not hard as a pilot to violate a regulation, if we're being perfectly honest. 91.123(a) is probably the most common violation - failure to comply with an ATC clearance. This is fairly all-encompassing. You could take a wrong turn during taxi, land on the wrong runway, get off your assigned altitude or route while IFR, or anything else you can think of which ATC instructed to do but you didn't for whatever reason. And this is just one single regulation in Part 91 - obviously there are hundreds of regulations in 14 CFR which you could potentially run afoul of, though ATC clearances are the most commonly investigated because ATC notices you deviated from your clearance and essentially snitches on you (not hating on them - more on that later).

How would I know I'm being investigated?

Ultimately, you'll know because eventually someone at the FAA will contact you. It will usually be an ASI. Depending on the source of the report and the workload of the ASI, you may not hear anything until a month or so after the event. The ASI may send you a formal Letter of Investigation (LOI), a Compliance Program and Pilot's Bill of Rights (CP & PBR) brochure, or they may just try to give you a phone call initially. ASIs CAN text you and email you! Many ASIs are issued cell phones, and nothing says they can't try to get a hold of you using any means. My process was to call the pilot and ask for an email address so that I could send some information that way, instead of needing to physically throw something in the snail mail. Policies can vary by each office, though.
If you mess something up and ATC issues you what's known as a Brasher warning (i.e. "possible pilot deviation" usually along with "I have a phone number for you to call"), it doesn't guarantee that you're going to end up being investigated. Depending on what happened, though, ATC may be required to submit something called a MOR, or a Mandatory Occurrence Report. So yes, ATC sometimes snitches on you, but they're required to for certain things. It can also be controller and facility dependent as to what they will file reports for - if a facility is seeing a lot of the same deviations/violations, they might start filing reports even if it's something minor in order to try to put some attention on it higher up. This report makes its way through the ATC chain until it is eventually forwarded to the FSDO with responsibility over the event. If you're a GA pilot, the FSDO covering the geographical area where you messed something up will investigate. If you're a certificate holder or fly for one (part 121, 135, etc), the report will go to the FSDO, CHDO, or CMO which manages that certificate. Routing all of this is a whole process, which is why it can take a month or more after the event to be contacted by the FAA.

An ASI contacted me after some sort of event happened... F*%#. Now what?

Straight to jail, obviously. Might as well cut up your certificates too, before they come pick you up. It will show the ASI that you feel bad about what you did, and that you respect his authoritah, which may lead to a reduced sentence.
Nah, you're probably one of about 12 PDs (Pilot Deviations) on the ASI's desk right now. Remember that whole mandate for the FAA to investigate certain things? The ASI is most likely not out to get you, he's just doing his bureaucratic job. Keep in mind that an ASI is also a pilot, holding at least a Commercial Pilot Certificate and meeting Airline Transport Pilot qualifications, and if he's a General Aviation Operations ASI he's also a current CFI with at least a few hundred hours of instructing. He's going to contact you as described above, send you the Pilot's Bill of Rights in some form, and probably try to schedule a time to talk with you about what happened. This will normally just be a phone call. The ASI might also ask you to provide copies of some things, like your logbooks showing that you were current and had the appropriate endorsements for the type of flight you were conducting. Your pilot and medical certificates can be looked up, but you may also be asked for copies of those to verify that you have them in your possession and that they match. Other things may be requested, as appropriate, depending on what exactly happened.
The purpose of the interview (phone call, or otherwise) is for the ASI to determine a few things: what happened, why it happened, if it was intentional, and why you are or aren't likely to do the same thing again. In short, the ASI is tasked with gathering all of the facts associated with the event, and performing a Root Cause Analysis to determine why whatever it is that happened did happen. Your input and perspective as the pilot is very important to this, because nobody knows what you were thinking or what you were seeing except you. Without your input, the ASI has to make a determination on what to do about the event with only the other limited information available.
The possible outcomes of this investigative process are typically: No Action, Compliance Action, Remedial Training via FAAST, 49 USC 44709 Reexamination, or Enforcement Action. There are also things called SNAAPs which are basically warning letters, but they aren't commonly used in most FSDOs for GA pilots. Ultimately, the ASI and the FSDO/CHDO/CMO is empowered to take any action which they feel will ensure continued safety of the National Airspace System.

Some of those outcomes don't sound encouraging. What's going to happen to me? Sounds like "straight to jail" is still on the table.

I'd say that over about 95% of the time, a PD is going to be resolved with Compliance Action. This is part of the FAA's new Compliance Program/Philosophy. I'd really recommend a quick read of FAA Order 8000.373, as it's only a page and a half and really sums up the point of the Compliance Program. If you get the CP & PBR brochure (see it here), it also explains the general idea. The FAA at one point figured out that to actually enhance aviation safety, they needed to obtain the perspective of pilots involved in deviations. Pilots aren't willing to share information which might be incriminating, though, if there is no incentive to do so. Why would you tattle on yourself if the FAA is just going to use that information to work on taking your certificate away via Enforcement Action?
The Compliance Program allows an ASI to resolve a probable regulatory violation or deviation without resorting to Enforcement Action. The potential corrective actions are pretty limitless and are at the discretion of the ASI and the office, but typically this is accomplished via Compliance Action Counseling. The ASI is going to review their Root Cause Analysis with you, and offer feedback and suggestions in order to help ensure that the situation does not occur again. This is normally done via a phone call, with a follow-up letter. For simple violations, half of the time I would simply complete counseling on the phone immediately after the interview with a pilot. Occasionally, Remedial Training would be suggested if a pilot was very rusty and the event involved something like a runway incursion where the consequenses were potentially more serious if things happened to go really sideways.
The thing with the Compliance Program is that the ASI needs to be confident that you also understand the root cause of the event, and that you are willing and able to comply with applicable regulations in the future. "Willing" means that you're willing to openly talk to the ASI about the event and share what happened, what you learned, and how you plan to mitigate against such a situation in the future, so you might want to think about that before your conversation. "Able" means that you are competent and proficient enough to exercise your privileges without invoking future violations, among other things. Entering into the interview conversation having already thought about the root causes, and what you've already done or are going to do to ensure that the event won't be a repeat occurrence will do a huge amount to assure the ASI that you are indeed willing and able to comply in the future.
If there is a serious question as to your competency, you might be looking at a 44709 reexamination ("709 Ride"). As most pilots know, this is essentially a checkride, or a portion thereof, conducted by the ASI to evaluate whatever Areas of Operation of the applicable ACS or PTS that you have been identified as potentially being deficient in. These are fairly rare, and generally only occur after things like accidents where a pilot's actions or story indicate that they really may not have known what they're doing. If you mess up an instrument approach in IMC reeeeally badly, ATC has to intervene repeatedly, and you don't think that you did anything wrong after the fact and that it was all ATC's fault, you may also be looking at a 709 ride, for example.
Enforcement Action is typically reserved for the most egregious violations, or violations where a pilot willingly and deliberately engaged in a violation or another sort of illegal activity. If you're flying with literally everything expired, both in terms of yourself and the airplane, and you're doing other dumb and illegal things during that flight like buzzing people or houses, there's no way that you shouldn't have known better. This is the process in which your certificates are in danger, or you're looking at civil penalties or criminal charges, as applicable. If you made an honest mistake, even if it resulted in a totaled airplane and a hospital stay, Enforcement Action is extremely unlikely because the Compliance Program is designed to handle most unintentional violations. Enforcement cases are also a huge workload and pain in the rear for both the ASI and the office.

So for each outcome, what does it mean in the end? Will it be on my record anywhere?

For Compliance Action, Remedial Training, and a successfully passed 709 Ride, typically, no. Once you successfully complete whatever the requirement is for you to return to compliance, you'll receive a letter stating that the FAA/ASI have determined there is no cause for further action and that you may consider the matter closed. These events don't show up on any record that the FAA would normally forward about you, i.e. in a PRIA request or via the Pilot Records Database. However, many aviation employers and airlines do now specifically ask if you have ever been the subject of a FAA investigation, a 44709 reexamination, or something along those lines. Whether or not they have the means to verify this with the FAA, I'm not sure and I honestly really doubt, but it would be at your own risk to not report such events to an employer if asked.
For a failed 44709 Reexamination (x2 - you usually get two shots, unless the first one was so terrible that the ASI believes you have absolutely no chance whatsoever of passing a second time) or Enforcement Action, those will turn up because the result will usually be a certificate suspension, revocation, or downgrade. Enforcement Action will likely having you talking to the FAA's attorneys in an attempt to settle the matter with a suspension or something similar. If you did something really big, illegal, and intentional, you're probably headed to the NTSB judges eventually, though they're backed up years because they handle all of the Department of Transportation cases and not just the FAA. They also do so with only a handful of judges.
So really, an honest mistake with today's FAA isn't that big of a deal so long as you weren't intentionally violating regulations, and you're willing to talk about what happened and why it's not going to happen again. The ASI will appreciate your cooperation in quickly clearing another PD off his task list, and you can get back to flying without the trip to jail.

FAQs

Why are pilots so afraid of this process, then? If you're not lying, it doesn't sound so bad.

The "old" FAA didn't have the Compliance Program. The only tool in their toolbox was a hammer (Enforcement Action), and every violation or other problem was a nail. Any little mistake that a pilot made did carry real jeopardy that their certificate was in danger. Obviously, that didn't foster trust that the FAA was really there to help, because they often weren't. There was also a time before ASRS/ASAP reporting and other programs which reduced or eliminated the penalties in exchange for information sharing. Essentially, the FAA finally figured out that if they wanted to improve aviation safety, they needed honest and accurate information from pilots. Pilots weren't inclined to share information if it would be used against them and enforcement was the only outcome. Programs were created to remove the consequences of an unintentional violation, and those are now the primary ways that deviations are resolved. Many pilots are still afraid of the "old" FAA, even though in practice it no longer really exists.

Do I need a lawyer to talk to the FAA or ASI during an investigation?

No. If you have access to one at no cost through another benefit like AOPA or employer insurance, go for it. However, lawyers just become an intermediary to work through, especially for simple deviations. If you want to minimize consequenses, you're going to personally talk to the ASI and you're going to openly share information about the event. A lawyer can't get you out of an investigation or the outcome, because they can't override the very broad 49 USC authority that the FAA has been given in both investigating and reexamining airmen. If you know for sure you're looking at an Enforcement Action, you can still settle with the FAA attorneys on your own, but a laywer at that point is up to you. Heading to NTSB court? Yeah, lawyer up, because you done messed up now, A-A-Ron.
You are always free to retain a lawyer and direct the FAA to communicate with them at any time, and most ASIs really don't care one way or another, but I would say it's an unnecessary expense if your deviation was an honest mistake. Do whatever makes you feel better, though.

Should I really talk to the ASI during the investigation? This seems like a trap.

As explained, the Compliance Program is only an option if you're willing and able to comply. If you're not willing to openly and honestly talk about the event, you're not really willing to comply. The alternative if you are determined to have violated a regulation is Enforcement Action, soooo... your choice!

What if I don't want to disclose everything to the ASI? What all do they know/have access to?

More often than not, the ASI has the ATC data regarding the event. This includes the radar data and ATC communications. They can play back the portion of your flight in question, so they can see where you actually were, what you were actually doing, and what was actually said. They of course also have access to the FAA databases for your certificates, medical, aircraft, and prior contact with the FAA. I wouldn't suggest lying about any of that.
An ASI reviews all of this before reaching out to you, so usually your conversation is just to fill in the gaps and figure out what was going on in the airplane from your perspective. If I can see or hear from ATC data that you took a wrong turn during taxi and then were embarassed about it before I even talk to you, I probably just have one or two gaps to fill in as to why it happened. Otherwise, unless this is the third time you've come up on my desk this year or you tell me something really abhorrent when we talk, it's almost certainly going to be a Compliance Action Counseling conversation and then good day, sir.

What about the NASA ASRS report? Doesn't that get me out of jail?

Kind of - honestly, an ASI typically isn't even aware if you filed one, or what the status of that is. It would likely come into play if you were facing Enforcement Action. Filing a report will not guarantee that an investigation does not occur, or that you will not need to talk to an ASI. It only guarantees that you will be immune to civil penalties or certificate suspension if you file a report in a timely manner, and you weren't doing something illegal. The information in your report also can't be used for enforcement purposes. That said, if the FAA finds out about a potential violation a month later, and you knew about it but didn't file a report, you generally can't go file one after the fact as an oopsie-daisy to try to avoid the consequences. If you suspect you violated something and you're worried about it, it never hurts to file the report. And as explained above, unless you were grossly deficient or intentionally violating a regulation, you're probably only looking at Compliance Action either way.

I received a Letter of Investigation. Am I in more trouble than just receiving the CP & PBR Brochure? What's the difference?

Not necessarily. You're supposed to receive the Pilot's Bill of Rights in some form before the FAA talks to you about an investigation into an event in any substantial manner, regardless of the nature of the investigation or what the expected outcome is. The LOI is required to be sent to you prior to any Enforcement Action, so some ASIs/offices send out LOIs for any report of a Pilot Deviation just in case something is discovered which pushes it into enforcement. Both the Brochure and LOI contain the required Pilot's Bill of Rights notification, so either one works from the ASI's perspective of simply being able to talk to you about the event. The LOI does inherently come off as more intimidating, though, as it's more formal and on the FAA letterhead.

An ASI randomly handed me a CP & PBR Brochure on the ramp, at an air show, etc - am I in trouble?

No, unless they wrote something in the brochure indicating something specific about a potential violation. ASIs are supposed to share the brochures to raise awareness of the Compliance Program whenever they interact with pilots.

I had a bad interaction with the FAA where _____ happened, and it was nothing like what you said.

Sorry about that. Like I said, not every office is the same. Generally, ASIs want to use the Compliance Program to get things out the door where they can. Maybe you got a grumpy ASI, or their office had seen that sort of thing a lot and was cracking down, or there was more to the story. Like any organization, let alone being the fed, there is some inconsistency between regions and offices. Every ASI I personally knew would have done their best to be fair and to follow the CADP (Compliance Action Decision Process), which I more or less explained in the sequence of events above.

I have another question about what the FAA would or wouldn't do.

Feel free to post it or DM me - I can't guarantee any specific course of action or outcome, and I don't speak for the FAA officially, but I might know some stuff about things regarding your Q.

I spent a long time having no progress on weight (goal is more muscle mass), and recently I've been pushing myself to eat more. The problem is I have 0 time to cook/prepare meals other than just lunch and dinner, so I'm looking for foods that I can eat with no preparation needed that can help me put on some weight. Any tips?

My last post
I’ve been meaning to write this for a while and life got in the way. So it’s a little longer than I would like. To anyone who reads the whole thing, thank you.
For those who prefer a TL;DR: My progress has been so fucking good. I completed a 4.2-mile race I’ve wanted to do since I was in college. I spent a week in Disneyworld for the first time ever and did multiple open to closing days without feeling like I wanted to die. I am on track for my goal of being under 300 pounds before my 30th birthday and take my first discovery flight on that day to begin training to get my pilot’s license.
I feel so fucking good.
Now onto the full post.
I never thought I’d write something like this.
When I was in college, my mother passed away unexpectedly. It was, as one might expect, extremely difficult and something I was nowhere close to being prepared for.
My mom was a spectacular woman in many ways but what I always admired her most for was not putting up with any bullshit people tried to give her. It was likely her upbringing in Jersey City, in the shadow of the skyscrapers of Manhattan, that fostered that.
When she passed, my immediate feeling was numbness. After returning back to school following all the business that had to be done at home, the feeling remained for a long time.
I remember not long after she passed, I was given my first internship. Since completing an internship was required for graduation from my program, it was something I had been long stressing about and venting to my mom about. So even after hearing the news I couldn’t celebrate.
Why should I if I couldn’t call my mom to tell her?
Suffice to say, my mental health after she passed was not good. I spent a lot of time by myself and when I was with friends I was not a pleasant person to be around.
It was around this time I had the idea of running a race that is organized by a foundation affiliated with my alma mater. I could not tell you how overweight I was at the time exactly but it was definitely well over 400 pounds so I knew I would have to do serious preparation to do it.
But I don’t think it will come as a shock that I couldn’t do it. It was a goal that simply was far too great for my current mental state and I gave up on the idea not long after beginning a moderate gym routine which I also abandoned to return to my room where I’d spend my time in much less productive ways.
It’s been over 8 years now since my mom passed.
If anyone has ever experienced loss in that way you’ll know that it never really leaves you. It certainly gets easier to live with but the thought of your loved one not being there for you is always there in your mind no matter what.
I have done plenty of growing in that time. I’ve had a few jobs. I started my first real relationship with a woman who I know beyond a shadow of a doubt loves me for who I really am and who I love in return. I have, what I honestly believe and will argue to the end of time, is the best group of friends anyone could ever ask for.
But there was always still this feeling that I was missing something.
If you’ve read my other posts here you’ll know I began losing weight back in September but really began taking it seriously around February. It was around then I decided to commit to walking more and more every day and being more mindful of what I eat every single day. During one of those walks it hit me that the same race from college was coming up in a couple months and they always have local versions of the race organized by the alumni associations.
I decided then to sign up.
I wasn’t planning on even jogging it. I was planning on walking the entirety of the race just so I could say that I could. But when I was on the sign up page it included a training schedule for people who wanted to prepare for jogging. The race is slightly over a 5K so the training plan is a somewhat modified version of “Couch to 5K” programs.
I realized that if I started the program that week that it would line up perfectly with race day. To make this as short as possible I’ll just say I was shocked at my progress in the program. There was only one training session I wasn’t able to complete. I felt great.
Mind you I was not jogging very fast, and still don’t go very fast on my jogs. Before the start of the race I had the goal of finishing in an hour and 15 minutes.
The run was not easy. Even with all the training I’m still carrying so much extra body weight that it is still very difficult. But I had so many of my fellow runners giving me signs of encouragement along the course I felt truly phenomenal.
I crossed the finish line in under an hour and hugged my girlfriend and cried. Her and my friends had come down from Los Angeles and made signs and all made t-shirts spelling out my name. Typing it now is making me cry again.
Race day was April 15, 2023 and I weighed in at 353.8 pounds.
Today is May 27, 2023 and this morning I weighed in at 332.3 pounds.
As of posting I am officially down 90.6 pounds since last September.
In the time between I got the chance to spend a week in Orlando visiting Disneyworld and one day at Universal Studios. It was the only week since I began training that I did no jogging but, in my humble opinion, I think I made up for it with the amount of walking.
Even on the “off” day I took from the parks I spent most of it walking all around Disney Springs and the resorts exploring. On the first night we stayed past close to ride Space Mountain and I felt incredible.
I love theme parks but for context, in the past I rarely if ever stayed to close because my body simply wouldn’t let me do it. We stayed to close multiple nights during the trip and I never really felt that bad.
I came back from the trip essentially at the same weight I left it despite having some poor options for food in the parks (literally the first thing I ate in the Magic Kingdom was a hot dog with electric green relish). The amount of movement during the trip was able to offset it thank goodness.
Upon return, I’ve tried to keep the jogging going although there have been one or two nights where I skipped it but even on those nights I went for my long walk. I’ve continued being mindful of what I’m eating while not feeling like I am missing out on anything at all.
Did you know you can get a power bowl from Taco Bell that tastes like all their other items but you can make it so it’s only like 450 calories for like a good amount of food? I just got that last night for dinner and while it’s not something I get regularly it feels like cheating.
Going to Orlando was a good reminder of one of the goals I have. For those like me who are big and also love theme parks, you’ll know that Universal is not a very accessible park. I can go on my soapbox but I’ll just say I think a lot of times it’s just out of sheer lack of consideration.
Despite my progress there were still several rides I couldn’t do. And even though I didn’t need a seat belt extender for an airplane I did need one for the Jimmy Fallon ride, but whatever.
But one of my goals from the beginning has been being able to go on thrill rides like those without worrying about fitting in the seats. I fully believe that goal will be achieved.
The other two goals I’ve had also are well within my reach. Firstly, I wanted to be under 300 pounds by my 30th birthday in November. At my current rate, I should be well under it by then.
I also have a goal of taking a discovery flight on my birthday as the first step to getting my pilot’s license. I’ll need to start calling flight schools to see if they have specified weight limits but I feel good about the possibility of it happening.
I still have a long way to go but there have been so many little victories as well. I recently have finally started seeing a difference in progress photos I take. There is a shirt I’ve had in the bottom of a drawer I wore maybe twice because it was too snug and I put it on recently and it was actually loose.
I feel really, really good. I feel like the things I’m doing continue to be sustainable. And I feel like I can do anything.
And I also feel like anyone reading this can do this too. Be consistent, don’t let one day define the story. It’s a long road but it can be filled with wonderful moments worthy of celebration.

Hi! I'll do a little introduction. I have been playing Terraria for damn near my entire life. On normal Terraria I have 900+ hours (Ik ik) And have gotten every achievement On modded terraria once again I have around 1.2k hours, nearly 90% of it on Calamity, I've played so much Calamity that I can consistently no hit death mode S-Cal (One of the hardest bosses in the game) And I've beaten every boss on Infernum calamity mod (Yea... just look Infernum mode calamity boss fights) In other words... I need a change of pace so I've decided to come here!
I'm looking for a group of people to just chill and play thorium with me... Through all my hours I have never truly played through Throium, and I honestly want to give it a try. I Will list my mod packs that I will use down below, I'm only looking to play with 1-2 other people as I don't want to deal with not having a specific person on and not being able to play.
Mod List: Thorium (duh) Magic Storage (Duh, Basically easier storage) Alchemist Npc Lite (Who likes farming potions late game?) Ore Excavator(Duh) Boss Checklist (Duh) Boss Cursor Better Blending v1.0.1 (Just makes the game look better Imo) Recipe Browser (If you don't play modded with this you need help) Fargo's mutant Mod (Makes some later game grinding easier) Happiness Removal(This allows us cheaper prices when we have npc prisons, But this is OPTIONAL if we want to build different towns) Tomb Tweaks (Cause F**k graveyards) Starter Classes(Basically easier starts due to getting decent weapons at the start)
So thats about it! You can either comment here or chat/dm me and ill get back to you with my discord! Again I'm looking for people who have either NEVER played modded or people who have NEVER played thorium mod (At least never gotten past WOF like me)

Does this fictional race sound too evil?
Zaraths are medium-sized species that resemble purple-skinned goblinoids. They live in small tribes in rainforests near swamps and marshes,as a warm habitat is most comfortable for them. They're a bit shorter than humans on average,as an average male is about 5 feet 6 inches (168 cm) and females a little over 5 feet (152 cm),on average weighing between 140-210 lbs (63 - 95 kg). In general,they tend to be within that weight range and between 5-6 feet (152-182 cm) in height,with some rare specimens nearing 7 feet (210 cm) and a whopping 300 lbs (135 kg). They resemble larger,bulkier goblins with purple scaly skin,somewhat pig-like noses,and vampire-like fangs protruding from their upper jaw,described as having a 'monstrous,abomimable appearance'. Their lifespan is between 60-80 years,some even reaching 150. They are omnivorous and opportunistic,eating anything they can find ranging from insects and carrion to plants they steal from farmers and animals they hunt down themselves
Zaraths live in small tribes with strictly regimented hierarchies,where the largest and most violent males often end up at the top. Laws in zarath societies are harsh,tyrannical,overly strict,oppressive,unfair and draconian,with violent and brutal punishments for anyone caught breaking them. Their culture is one that glorifies cruelty,war and violence,with the chief god of their pantheon,Bezagoth,being the god of war and fire,as they sometimes set ritual bonfires and chant to honor him and other times they see slain enemy soldiers in wars as sacrifices to Bezagoth.
Zaraths are known for their crude,vulgar and brutish demeanor. Their tribes often enjoy brutally massacring and enslaving each other in wars,and tribes very frequently squabble,but are willing to ally in certain situations like wars with non-zaraths. They also have a reputation for burglary,as zarath soldiers often break into houses in villages during wars to steal any valuables they can find inside. They also use brutal psychological fear tactics against their foes during war,such as putting the severed heads of slain enemy soldiers on pikes and carrying them around as a warning. Zarath sorcerers are known to cast dark magic spells on enemy armies to weaken them.
Zaraths have very limited intelligence and are semi-literate,as well as being very easily distracted and forgetful. They're capable of logic and reasoning somewhat,but pretty much only the bare minimum,having a hard time grasping abstract concepts (by D&D standards,they would prob have an intelligence of 8-9).
They are known for their short tempers and for being very easy to provoke,and when this does happen,they will basically just start throwing a tantrum and grabbing any random objects (rocks,sticks,etc.) they can find near them and throw them at any living thing in sight,as well as making animalistic noises like grunting,shrieking or roaring. Their fighting style lacks technique,as they often charge into battle while swinging their swords,battleaxes and other weapons around randomly while hoping to hit something. They are militaristic and warlike in nature,sometimes losing wars against other races because they get distracted and start fighting with each other over petty reasons. While they do supposedly have 'tribal codes of honor',these 'codes' are often vague,arbitrary and inconsistent. They're also known to be sadistic and verbally abrasive,often heard loudly insulting,cursing and yelling at their enemy soldiers while fighting.
A zarath tribal chief is known as a despot:while this term for humans is a negative one that implies a tyrannical or oppressive figure,to zaraths it is a neutral term simply meant to refer to any leader of a clan,regardless of whether they see said leader as good or bad. Thus,tribes are known as despotries,while several smaller tribes united in a larger confederation are known as an overdespotry,led by a chief known as the overdespot.
Zaraths engage in various taboo practices any civilized species would be disgusted by,such as ritual sacrifice and cannibalism,with zaraths being documented to carry away,cook and eat corpses of enemy dead they find on the field after a battle ends,including the flesh of rival zarath tribes.
While most civilized species fear and dislike war,zaraths and others similar to them rejoice and celebrate the sound of war horns:they don't even care if they themselves end up dying,as zaraths see waging war in and of itself as a sacred act,relishing brutally massacring their enemies and seeing death in battle as an honor,with zarath tribes often building temples/shrines to honor fallen commanders.
Non-zarath farmers hate them the most out of everyone because when a zarath cavalry arrives in a village during a war,they'll steal all the livestock and crops they can find,break into and burglarize houses to search for gold and other valuables inside,and sometimes even kidnap and enslave conquered villages.
Some of their biggest advantages are their poison resistance and pain tolerance:their stomachs can digest rotten food and they are immune to several types of poison,and they are physically resilient enough to charge head-first through a wall and smash directly through it without feeling much pain (to a zarath,this would just feel like a small,brief headache rather than a straight up dangerous injury).
Do these guys sound too extreme and brutal?
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This story is a little hard to talk about, I've talked about it once but didn't wanna get into it much but thought maybe I should start from the beginning with these 2 orbs. I was only about 11 years old at the time, I had lived down the street from 2 other kids around the same age. I had been to their house many times before and had never experienced something so vivid. But either way I'm about 11 years old and the season outside was fall, I ran down the street to see if me and my friends would be able to hang out. I reach their home and knock on the door, their parents answer and proceed to let me inside. Now for everyone wondering what the set up to this looked like I'll do my best to keep the description but this was over 10 years ago and their house was honestly a disaster. So as I entered the door I'd step into the kitchen, as I stepped through I could smell something burning, it was strong smelling never smelling it before it hit me strong. Not knowing I figured I'd just ask one of my friends, but I stopped before reaching their living room because above their kitchen table I was seeing 2 orbs circling around each. Almost as if they were in fight for control of the house or just constantly in motion but you could see them vividly as they spun around in circles at each other. I couldn't help but stare in amazement from never seeing something so interesting. So I turn through this sheet they have in the doorway of their home into the living room. Sitting on the couch were both my friends playing Halo on the Xbox. I sat near them on the couch and asked them what had been burning and they told me sage, at that time I had no idea what it was but the smell was growing on me but years later my future friend would actually tell me what sage is used for. So after a few mins of watching them play I asked what with the weird light in the kitchen? 1 is black and 1 is white, I'm trying my best to describe what I saw to them as I came inside. They look at each other and a friend says to me that it actually isn't the first time this has happened. As we are all talking about the orbs somehow they made their way through the sheet in the doorway to the living room from the kitchen. But at that point it didn't seem like they were seeing it or letting it bother them but I kept my eyes on them until it got late and I was already given permission to stay there that night. As I began to head towards the bedroom which was back through the kitchen I accidentally ran through the orbs, nothing happened at first. But about 5 mins after walking through the kitchen into my friends room I went to turn on their tv. As I went to turn it on I heard this loud snarling then bark in my ear, I turned around and my friends were still on the bed. I asked if they heard that dog bark and they responded what dog? I said come on y'all didn't hear a dog just now, like you guys didn't just bark in my ear? Again they responded but confused no we don't even own an animal, also I already knew since that wasn't my first time there but I just really needed to know. After the first bark about an hour went by before I would hear it again snarling and barking at me that night. This would happen about 3 times that night. After that night my thoughts on the paranormal have forever been open and I'm curious to know more. But that was my first experience into the paranormal. Question how would someone go about documenting these paranormal events but with little to no budget? I want to try and debunk this small ash that seems to follow me for the past 5 years and now my girlfriend is starting to see it. Any ideas from anyone?

TL;DR: My fiance is in a difficult situation with his job, but he doesn't take any steps to change the situation sustainably. He burdens me with a lot of emotional load caused by this and it is going on for a while now. I start to wonder, if I'm wasting my time waiting for his improvement and if it may be better to end it soon.
Hey y'all! This is my first post ever on reddit. I hope, I do follow all the rules :) (and sorry for the length. I didn't know how it shorten the story)
My fiance (m28) and I (f25) reached a point at which I wonder, if our relationship even lasts. We met 5 years ago and started out as aquaintances. We did so much together, travelled a lot, did all kind of fun activities and it was just great. We hit it off so good and about 3,5 years ago we started dating, moved in together and got engaged. It was great, we never had a major fight about anything, we share the same morals and got along with chores etc as well. We still did some great trips, however about half a year ago, this all changed.
My partner has always had some issues since I know him and I start to wonder, if they will ever get better (or if I should even expect improvement). He is in psycho therapy for almost two years now for his depression and they work on a holistic solution (addressing other issues, taking a close look on the family dynamic in his childhood and this kind of stuff). I think, that the therapy did help him, but I start to doubt, that the therapy will do enough for him. (It feels so bad and wrong to say it that way.)
Since I know him, he does always struggle with his job. He is a hard-working and skilled, experienced and educated, but only in crafts. He did not go to college after high school, because this was his wish (and I think, that this is completely fine). However, he hasn't found a job yet that he really likes, that's why he changes his job every few years. He doesn't put a lot of effort into finding a good job though. I tried to talk to him about the importance of a propper application, but he doesn't really see a point in them anyways and hates writing them. His plan is to write them thoughtless and get some jobs that may promise to be right and then find another job this exact way, if the previous one wasn't the perfect job for him. He won't go to school neither, which would allow him to do other jobs as well, because he doesn't like school. Honestly, I kept quiet until now, because I had hoped, that he would eventually find a good job and this problem would've solved itself. Hoewever, this did never happen.
The other issue, that affects me, is his inability to overcome his own bad emotions without pulling everyone around him down too. He doesn't want to do this and he feels really bad about it, however it still happens and I can't see improvement. It basically means, that no one else can enoy themselves, if he isn't in a good mood too. He doesn't provoke fights or is mean, but one can really kill the vibes, if they sit in a corner and go with "Why do you even bother asking me?!" or "*shrug * Whatever, I don't care". I am certain, that he does not do it intentionally, as I have seen this to be normalized behaviour within his family. He doesn't know how to regulate himself. I did try to communicate this with him, but he only understands it as "Suck it up and shut it up". Which is not true. I believe, that one can communicate negative emotions and yet still don't burden there loved ones with a constant bad mood. And he currently is always in a bad mood due to his job situation and I'm walking on eggshells to not get one of these snappy responses for any "stupid" or "pointless" question. I try to cheer him up and try to plan things, to distract him, encourage him to apply for another job etc. I don't know how to handle this anymore.
Today we came home early from the only vacation we could have together this year, because we can not take other vacation days at the same time together. We only did half the road trip, then on the ride to our next destination today he missed our exit (I even pointed it out to him previously, I really don't know, why he simply didn't took it or respond to me at all) and we accidentally went on the highway and had to drive quiet a few miles in the wrong direction. He said, that "This was it", took the next turn possible and we went on our way home (but he did miss a few exits too, which caused us to drive quite some miles extra, I didn't dare to ask for his reasoning, because the mood was icy). I offered to drive, since I do not want to spend the day on the road going wrong ways only and just accepted that he wasn't in the mood for holiday (this was not the first time, we quit something I really appreciated and wanted, because he wasn't feeling it. I did agree to adjusting the plans to accommodate him though). He finally agreed, and spent maybe half an hour looking for jobs, while I was driving. He finally threw his phone down and announced, that there were no good jobs available at all.
I feel so rejected by this, because right now, he is chilling with his friends in the garden doing a BBQ (maybe he's talking with them about his problems, making this time anyhow "productive" idk), instead of using our remaining holiday time to improve his situation. I'm torn. On one hand, I feel like, he should put his big boy pants on and finally write some neat applications and really put some effort into finding a job (or even going through some extra education to qualify for better jobs), even though, he may not like the process of doing this tasks. I did encounter tasks, I really did not enjoy, too to reach a higher goal. However on the other hand, I don't know what's going on inside of him. After all, he has depression and I don't. I will never experience the feeling, so I am hesitant to judge. It seems that he is not following his weird job plan that avoids writing applications and further schooling out of nowhere. He surely doesn't do this for fun. He is suffering a lot too right now and I doubt, he would maneuver us into this situation, if there was an easy way out. So I feel like, pressuring him into it, may not help anything and would only increase the stress for both of us.
On the quiet remaining ride back home today, I did question myself, how much longer I should keep waiting for him to finally get better. I think, that mid- to late-twenties is a good age to finally get your stuff figured out. When else will he? I feel like I waste my precious time by constantly adjusting and lowering my expectations according to his mood. I don't want this life for sure, but I really do love him (or at least, how he was at the beginning). I am hesitant to approach him or to even tell him, that he should figure his life out or else I'd leave. I think, that this pressure would block him only more so and won't produce anything benefital. I can't bring it over my heart to present him an ultimatum like this, because he might currently be going through something I don't understand.
Please, don't get me wrong. My partner may sound rude and reckless in this prescription, this is only because I'm describing problematic situations. He generally is kind and he acknowledges most of his wrong-doing. When we got home today, he apologized for ruining the trip and said, that I was so kind to him the whole ride back even though he acted that way.
I would love to hear your insight on how I could handle this and how I could help him efficiently. I know for sure, that I will be planning my next few trips without him. However, I don't know, how to gently tell him how I feel and I don't know, what I should tell him, which improvements or changes I would be expecting in the near future.