Charles schwab near me
GardeningWhenItCounts
2021.08.12 16:36 ampersand12 GardeningWhenItCounts
"We can live into the future with hope rather than hopelessness, feeling empowered rather than powerless." - Leah McElrath A positive community to discuss gardening, farming, and other means of food production when it counts. Our future looks scary, but we aren't helpless. Being resilient by growing food is an important skill in an uncertain future. We promote the ideas of mutual aid and community support. In hard times all we have is each other. Please share knowledge and ask questions.
2017.03.28 04:33 td css
“I’m confident that Reddit could sway elections. We wouldn’t do it, of course. And I don’t know how many times we could get away with it. But, if we really wanted to, I’m sure Reddit could have swayed at least this election, this once.” - Reddit CEO
2023.05.31 17:38 dethswatch Rolex- how do the ceramic inserts in the bracelets prevent wear?
Ceramic is very hard, it can also be really smooth. So it's a good sleeve in this case- except that it's way harder than the steel and the precious metal that surround it.
So if anything's going to wear, it'll be the pin and the bracelet again, won't it? Guessing the PM is not nearly as hard as the (cheap?) pin steel. So the bracelet wears again.
If the ceramic sleeve doesn't rotate, then I can see just the pin wearing, but the sleeve _does_ rotate, doesn't it? I don't see anything that's indexing the sleeve so that it doesn't rotate.
If the sleeve was -less hard- than the pin and the bracelet, then IT would wear, but then you'd have crumbly ceramic grinding everywhere which probably also wouldn't be good.
ALSO- the ends of the pin have to extend past the sleeve into the link, don't they? Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to remove them, right?
Wear am I missing the genius in the design? Educate me, please. Thanks
submitted by dethswatch to rolex [link] [comments]
So if anything's going to wear, it'll be the pin and the bracelet again, won't it? Guessing the PM is not nearly as hard as the (cheap?) pin steel. So the bracelet wears again.
If the ceramic sleeve doesn't rotate, then I can see just the pin wearing, but the sleeve _does_ rotate, doesn't it? I don't see anything that's indexing the sleeve so that it doesn't rotate.
If the sleeve was -less hard- than the pin and the bracelet, then IT would wear, but then you'd have crumbly ceramic grinding everywhere which probably also wouldn't be good.
ALSO- the ends of the pin have to extend past the sleeve into the link, don't they? Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to remove them, right?
Wear am I missing the genius in the design? Educate me, please. Thanks
2023.05.31 17:37 eiramired Ignite the Ashes Chapter 2 - A New Arrival
Chapter 2 - A New Arrival
Northern Facility, Vanstead Dukedom of Augustein, Year 985
The girl was a little taller than Amara and had short, silky dark hair that bounced whenever she moved her head. It gleamed in the torchlight with a blue-ish tint. Her dark eyes stood out against her pale skin, and when those eyes scanned across the cell, taking in its interior, Amara was struck by how lively they looked.
After the guards had left and the cell door swung shut again, the girl had stepped forward and spoken in a voice louder than Amara had heard in a long time.
Her name, she announced, was Edith.
—
“How old’re you?”
Amara slowly turned her head to face the girl. Edith stood right in front of her with her arms crossed, staring down at Amara. She blinked owlishly.
“I don’t know,” she said. Her voice came out raspy and hoarse, like she’d forgotten how to make words.
Edith frowned. “Well, I think I’m older than you,” she said with a huff. She jabbed a thumb at herself. “That means I’m in charge!”
Amara just stared at her. Edith stayed silent, perhaps waiting for a response. When none came, she sighed and plopped down right next to Amara, shivering slightly when she touched the cold stone floor. Amara flinched away on instinct, not liking this strange girl invading her space. Edith, however, didn’t seem to notice, because she just kept talking.
“Susie says you’ve been here the longest. That true?”
Amara thought briefly of James, his curled form that had once been a constant in the corner of the cell. Other faces flashed in her mind, faces that had quickly grown blurred with time. Their features blended together into a strange amalgamation that didn’t look quite human. She nodded slowly, and her own hair, limp and not at all like Edith’s, fell across her face.
“Yeah.”
“Which means you’ve had a lot of sessions.”
“I guess.”
“So you know the most about the experiments,” Edith persisted.
“Not that much.”
Edith rolled her eyes and huffed. “Susie was right, you’re hard to talk to,” she muttered.
The cold feeling rose sharply, and she shoved down. She swallowed. She knew she didn’t really speak to the other kids, but she never thought that they might talk about her. That Susie, with her pretty bright hair, would find her hard to approach. Amara scanned her mind, but she couldn’t recall Susie ever speaking with her before. Had she tried, and Amara just hadn’t noticed it?
Edith was quiet for a few moments, those expressive eyes silently studying Amara. Finally, she coughed.
“Uh, people used to say that about me, too, except they called me bossy,” she said with a scowl. She shifted, adjusting her position on the floor.
Amara vaguely realized that Edith, this strange girl who’d started talking to her out of the blue, was trying to comfort her. She didn’t know how to respond to that, so she just said, “Oh.”
Edith nodded vigorously. “Yeah, there’s this one boy, he thinks he’s all that just ‘cause his great uncle used to be a Raymoth guard, and he’s always acting like he’s so much better than us. But he kept saying it was my fault, acting like he wasn’t the real problem, and—”
Edith continued speaking, gesturing with increasingly wild movements. Throughout her story, which spiraled longer and longer and quickly jumped between various unrelated topics, Amara listened silently.
—
The other kids loved Edith. That didn’t really surprise Amara, but she was surprised at just how quickly they grew attached to the girl.
Susie had found a new “Ellie” in her. The younger kids all crowded around her, following Edith around like little ducklings. Ben, who’d gone nearly entirely silent after those first few months of crying, finally started speaking again.
It was as if the entire cell woke up from a long, deep slumber. Amara had never seen so many people moving around before, and never had it been so loud with chatter. She’d often glance outside the cell doors, but the guards never said anything about the noise. That didn’t stop her from watching them just in case.
Edith liked to talk about herself, and as a result Amara found herself learning more about the girl’s life than she knew about her own. She was from Vanstead, she said, and her mother was a “super cool watchman” who she emphasized would definitely come and save them all. She was planning on moving to Helisturn, the capital, one day, where she’d join the Academy and become an officer, join a duke’s personal guard, or maybe become a Rose. She hesitated a bit on the latter section and ended up backtracking, amending her earlier statement and saying she’d rather not serve the Raymoths. Not when the Sovereign was the reason they were there.
She claimed to know all about the world outside because she’d traveled a lot with her mother. She even made guesses about which dukedom all the kids had come from, which was an especially popular subject for the majority of the cell who didn’t remember their birthplaces. For Amara, she suggested Chaunton, a word that had no meaning to her.
It was easy to get swept up in Edith’s energy. Even though Amara was sure they all knew her stories were probably as much fantasy as truth, it was nice to hear someone talk so openly and with so much passion. It was even fun to play along, sometimes. For reasons unknown to Amara, Edith often spoke to her, even encouraging her to join in on her stories. Maybe it was because they were the closest in age, or maybe the girl had made it a personal challenge to get Amara to talk more. That seemed like something she would do. Amara found she didn’t mind it as much as she thought she would.
Still, even as Amara watched Edith talk, the sway of her hair that somehow still retained its shine, she couldn’t help but dread the day that energy inevitably fizzled out. She scanned the other kids, enraptured by a tale of Edith’s mother fighting a rank C Aberration all by herself, eyes shining in a way she hadn’t seen in years, and hoped that day was far away.
—
“Hey, Amara?”
Amara looked up at Edith from where she’d been inspecting her latest array of bandages. She quickly realized that the girl was staring at her arm as well, dark eyes fixed on the stark white bandages layered and wrapped so thoroughly that they hid almost all of her skin. Edith swallowed and shifted her weight.
“Um, what really…happens during sessions?”
Amara frowned, and she sat up fully. “You have one soon?”
Edith shrugged. “I mean, probably? I’ve already been here a week, so it’s bound to be coming, right?” She shuddered and scooted a little closer. Amara let her. “I just… I just want to be prepared, is all.”
“It’s gonna hurt a lot,” Amara said bluntly.
Edith scowled. “Not helpful.”
Amara stared at the ground again, tracing some of the cracks in the floor with her finger. The amount of them had grown slowly but surely, creating a chained network of lines along the ground that Amara had always thought was an improvement from the unbroken, unending grey.
“They’ll probably take blood samples and do some basic tests. I think they do different things with every kid though.”
Edith was quiet. A brief silence engulfed the two of them, and Amara shifted uncomfortably. After the liveliness of the past week, it felt especially wrong.
“How many people don’t come back from the first session?” Edith suddenly asked. Her voice was tight, and she didn’t look up as she spoke. Amara noted the way her hands tightened their grip around her arms, trembling barely perceptibly.
Amara closed her eyes, thinking back through the years. Earlier on, when she’d first been taken in, more kids were brought in at once, which made the disappearances stick out all the more. The number of new arrivals had trickled down with time, but the percentage who made it out of the first session hadn’t really changed that much.
“A lot of people don’t,” she said truthfully. It didn’t feel right to lie. She opened her eyes. “I think maybe half never come back, and then out of the ones who do, another half end up dying overnight.”
Dying. It felt odd to say it out loud. All of them knew that’s what happened, but it had become customary to call them “disappearances” instead. Maybe at first it was not to scare the youngest kids, but it had soon grown into a way to help them deal with the truth. Saying it again felt like she was breaking an unspoken agreement, shifting a delicate balance, and so Amara kept talking to avoid thinking about it.
She spoke about the people she’d seen, about the different types of scars and wounds and how she could tell when someone would make it and when someone wouldn’t. The longer she talked, the more surprised she was at how much she remembered, and the more she started to wish that she didn’t.
Throughout it all, Edith stayed silent, more quiet than Amara had ever seen her, and listened with eyes glued to Amara. By the time Amara was finished, her throat felt like it was on fire. She swallowed, attempting to fix the dryness, and her shoulders slumped back down.
“That’s all I know,” she said, barely above a whisper. Edith kept staring at her, and Amara wished she would say something, anything, to break the silence.
Finally, the girl leaned closer, and Amara couldn’t recognize the mix of emotions in the girl’s features as she spoke in a surprisingly steady voice.
“Do you think I’ll make it?”
And Amara stared at her, those gleaming eyes and the proud tilt of her head, and spoke truthfully.
“Yeah. I think you will.”
—
People reacted to pain in different ways. That was a fact Amara suspected was true everywhere, but it was different to see it so easily laid out within the confines of the facility.
Some sobbed uncontrollably. They became inconsolable, often shrinking in on themselves, gripping their skin tightly as if that pressure could ease the wounds. Those ones usually didn’t last long in the facility. The worst case Amara had seen was a young boy—she hadn’t even known his name—who kept hitting his head against the wall when he’d been thrown back into the cell. Some of the older kids had tried to pull him away, but he scratched and fought them off with a ferocity that their tired bodies couldn’t match. Eventually one of the guards had dragged him, kicking and screaming, away. He never returned.
Others shut in on themselves. Some did it completely, refusing to communicate or acknowledge their surroundings at all while they struggled to process. They became little more than limp dolls, trapped in a prison of their own mind until they either broke out of it or died there.
Others only shut down part way, still gaining that distant look in their eyes, but managing to respond and react to things. That was the category Edith fell into.
The moment she stumbled back into the cell, the girl retreated to the back. She hugged her knees and stared at the wall, lowering her head and refusing to talk to anyone even as her whole body shook. Amara could see fresh bandages covering her arms and lingering violet markings that were quickly fading. Susie got up and tried to talk to her, but Edith snapped for her to go away. No matter how many times someone approached her, she refused to move or look them in the eye, adamantly staying where she was even when night fell.
Amara stayed awake, watching Edith’s trembling form even as the other kids fell asleep. The constant cold feeling in her gut rose, barely pulled back from boiling. Finally, once the sounds of breathing had evened around her and only Edith’s sharp gasps and occasional whimpers punctuated the darkness, she quietly got up and moved to where Edith was.
The other girl froze slightly as she approached, muscles tensing, but Amara didn’t say anything. She simply sat down next to Edith, not saying a word, and stayed there.
At some point, the tension drained away and the shaking began to slow down as exhaustion overtook all other emotions. Amara understood the feeling well. Still, even when Edith began to tip forward slightly, head drooping with sleep, Amara stayed awake throughout the night.
When morning finally came, Edith slowly raised her head and finally looked over at Amara. Her eyes were puffy and red, making her large irises stand out even more. Her arms still shook slightly, and her hair had lost its shine. She smiled tiredly.
“I’m still here,” she said, voice raspy and hoarse.
Amara smiled back. “You’re still here.”
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submitted by eiramired to HFY [link] [comments]
Northern Facility, Vanstead Dukedom of Augustein, Year 985
The girl was a little taller than Amara and had short, silky dark hair that bounced whenever she moved her head. It gleamed in the torchlight with a blue-ish tint. Her dark eyes stood out against her pale skin, and when those eyes scanned across the cell, taking in its interior, Amara was struck by how lively they looked.
After the guards had left and the cell door swung shut again, the girl had stepped forward and spoken in a voice louder than Amara had heard in a long time.
Her name, she announced, was Edith.
—
“How old’re you?”
Amara slowly turned her head to face the girl. Edith stood right in front of her with her arms crossed, staring down at Amara. She blinked owlishly.
“I don’t know,” she said. Her voice came out raspy and hoarse, like she’d forgotten how to make words.
Edith frowned. “Well, I think I’m older than you,” she said with a huff. She jabbed a thumb at herself. “That means I’m in charge!”
Amara just stared at her. Edith stayed silent, perhaps waiting for a response. When none came, she sighed and plopped down right next to Amara, shivering slightly when she touched the cold stone floor. Amara flinched away on instinct, not liking this strange girl invading her space. Edith, however, didn’t seem to notice, because she just kept talking.
“Susie says you’ve been here the longest. That true?”
Amara thought briefly of James, his curled form that had once been a constant in the corner of the cell. Other faces flashed in her mind, faces that had quickly grown blurred with time. Their features blended together into a strange amalgamation that didn’t look quite human. She nodded slowly, and her own hair, limp and not at all like Edith’s, fell across her face.
“Yeah.”
“Which means you’ve had a lot of sessions.”
“I guess.”
“So you know the most about the experiments,” Edith persisted.
“Not that much.”
Edith rolled her eyes and huffed. “Susie was right, you’re hard to talk to,” she muttered.
The cold feeling rose sharply, and she shoved down. She swallowed. She knew she didn’t really speak to the other kids, but she never thought that they might talk about her. That Susie, with her pretty bright hair, would find her hard to approach. Amara scanned her mind, but she couldn’t recall Susie ever speaking with her before. Had she tried, and Amara just hadn’t noticed it?
Edith was quiet for a few moments, those expressive eyes silently studying Amara. Finally, she coughed.
“Uh, people used to say that about me, too, except they called me bossy,” she said with a scowl. She shifted, adjusting her position on the floor.
Amara vaguely realized that Edith, this strange girl who’d started talking to her out of the blue, was trying to comfort her. She didn’t know how to respond to that, so she just said, “Oh.”
Edith nodded vigorously. “Yeah, there’s this one boy, he thinks he’s all that just ‘cause his great uncle used to be a Raymoth guard, and he’s always acting like he’s so much better than us. But he kept saying it was my fault, acting like he wasn’t the real problem, and—”
Edith continued speaking, gesturing with increasingly wild movements. Throughout her story, which spiraled longer and longer and quickly jumped between various unrelated topics, Amara listened silently.
—
The other kids loved Edith. That didn’t really surprise Amara, but she was surprised at just how quickly they grew attached to the girl.
Susie had found a new “Ellie” in her. The younger kids all crowded around her, following Edith around like little ducklings. Ben, who’d gone nearly entirely silent after those first few months of crying, finally started speaking again.
It was as if the entire cell woke up from a long, deep slumber. Amara had never seen so many people moving around before, and never had it been so loud with chatter. She’d often glance outside the cell doors, but the guards never said anything about the noise. That didn’t stop her from watching them just in case.
Edith liked to talk about herself, and as a result Amara found herself learning more about the girl’s life than she knew about her own. She was from Vanstead, she said, and her mother was a “super cool watchman” who she emphasized would definitely come and save them all. She was planning on moving to Helisturn, the capital, one day, where she’d join the Academy and become an officer, join a duke’s personal guard, or maybe become a Rose. She hesitated a bit on the latter section and ended up backtracking, amending her earlier statement and saying she’d rather not serve the Raymoths. Not when the Sovereign was the reason they were there.
She claimed to know all about the world outside because she’d traveled a lot with her mother. She even made guesses about which dukedom all the kids had come from, which was an especially popular subject for the majority of the cell who didn’t remember their birthplaces. For Amara, she suggested Chaunton, a word that had no meaning to her.
It was easy to get swept up in Edith’s energy. Even though Amara was sure they all knew her stories were probably as much fantasy as truth, it was nice to hear someone talk so openly and with so much passion. It was even fun to play along, sometimes. For reasons unknown to Amara, Edith often spoke to her, even encouraging her to join in on her stories. Maybe it was because they were the closest in age, or maybe the girl had made it a personal challenge to get Amara to talk more. That seemed like something she would do. Amara found she didn’t mind it as much as she thought she would.
Still, even as Amara watched Edith talk, the sway of her hair that somehow still retained its shine, she couldn’t help but dread the day that energy inevitably fizzled out. She scanned the other kids, enraptured by a tale of Edith’s mother fighting a rank C Aberration all by herself, eyes shining in a way she hadn’t seen in years, and hoped that day was far away.
—
“Hey, Amara?”
Amara looked up at Edith from where she’d been inspecting her latest array of bandages. She quickly realized that the girl was staring at her arm as well, dark eyes fixed on the stark white bandages layered and wrapped so thoroughly that they hid almost all of her skin. Edith swallowed and shifted her weight.
“Um, what really…happens during sessions?”
Amara frowned, and she sat up fully. “You have one soon?”
Edith shrugged. “I mean, probably? I’ve already been here a week, so it’s bound to be coming, right?” She shuddered and scooted a little closer. Amara let her. “I just… I just want to be prepared, is all.”
“It’s gonna hurt a lot,” Amara said bluntly.
Edith scowled. “Not helpful.”
Amara stared at the ground again, tracing some of the cracks in the floor with her finger. The amount of them had grown slowly but surely, creating a chained network of lines along the ground that Amara had always thought was an improvement from the unbroken, unending grey.
“They’ll probably take blood samples and do some basic tests. I think they do different things with every kid though.”
Edith was quiet. A brief silence engulfed the two of them, and Amara shifted uncomfortably. After the liveliness of the past week, it felt especially wrong.
“How many people don’t come back from the first session?” Edith suddenly asked. Her voice was tight, and she didn’t look up as she spoke. Amara noted the way her hands tightened their grip around her arms, trembling barely perceptibly.
Amara closed her eyes, thinking back through the years. Earlier on, when she’d first been taken in, more kids were brought in at once, which made the disappearances stick out all the more. The number of new arrivals had trickled down with time, but the percentage who made it out of the first session hadn’t really changed that much.
“A lot of people don’t,” she said truthfully. It didn’t feel right to lie. She opened her eyes. “I think maybe half never come back, and then out of the ones who do, another half end up dying overnight.”
Dying. It felt odd to say it out loud. All of them knew that’s what happened, but it had become customary to call them “disappearances” instead. Maybe at first it was not to scare the youngest kids, but it had soon grown into a way to help them deal with the truth. Saying it again felt like she was breaking an unspoken agreement, shifting a delicate balance, and so Amara kept talking to avoid thinking about it.
She spoke about the people she’d seen, about the different types of scars and wounds and how she could tell when someone would make it and when someone wouldn’t. The longer she talked, the more surprised she was at how much she remembered, and the more she started to wish that she didn’t.
Throughout it all, Edith stayed silent, more quiet than Amara had ever seen her, and listened with eyes glued to Amara. By the time Amara was finished, her throat felt like it was on fire. She swallowed, attempting to fix the dryness, and her shoulders slumped back down.
“That’s all I know,” she said, barely above a whisper. Edith kept staring at her, and Amara wished she would say something, anything, to break the silence.
Finally, the girl leaned closer, and Amara couldn’t recognize the mix of emotions in the girl’s features as she spoke in a surprisingly steady voice.
“Do you think I’ll make it?”
And Amara stared at her, those gleaming eyes and the proud tilt of her head, and spoke truthfully.
“Yeah. I think you will.”
—
People reacted to pain in different ways. That was a fact Amara suspected was true everywhere, but it was different to see it so easily laid out within the confines of the facility.
Some sobbed uncontrollably. They became inconsolable, often shrinking in on themselves, gripping their skin tightly as if that pressure could ease the wounds. Those ones usually didn’t last long in the facility. The worst case Amara had seen was a young boy—she hadn’t even known his name—who kept hitting his head against the wall when he’d been thrown back into the cell. Some of the older kids had tried to pull him away, but he scratched and fought them off with a ferocity that their tired bodies couldn’t match. Eventually one of the guards had dragged him, kicking and screaming, away. He never returned.
Others shut in on themselves. Some did it completely, refusing to communicate or acknowledge their surroundings at all while they struggled to process. They became little more than limp dolls, trapped in a prison of their own mind until they either broke out of it or died there.
Others only shut down part way, still gaining that distant look in their eyes, but managing to respond and react to things. That was the category Edith fell into.
The moment she stumbled back into the cell, the girl retreated to the back. She hugged her knees and stared at the wall, lowering her head and refusing to talk to anyone even as her whole body shook. Amara could see fresh bandages covering her arms and lingering violet markings that were quickly fading. Susie got up and tried to talk to her, but Edith snapped for her to go away. No matter how many times someone approached her, she refused to move or look them in the eye, adamantly staying where she was even when night fell.
Amara stayed awake, watching Edith’s trembling form even as the other kids fell asleep. The constant cold feeling in her gut rose, barely pulled back from boiling. Finally, once the sounds of breathing had evened around her and only Edith’s sharp gasps and occasional whimpers punctuated the darkness, she quietly got up and moved to where Edith was.
The other girl froze slightly as she approached, muscles tensing, but Amara didn’t say anything. She simply sat down next to Edith, not saying a word, and stayed there.
At some point, the tension drained away and the shaking began to slow down as exhaustion overtook all other emotions. Amara understood the feeling well. Still, even when Edith began to tip forward slightly, head drooping with sleep, Amara stayed awake throughout the night.
When morning finally came, Edith slowly raised her head and finally looked over at Amara. Her eyes were puffy and red, making her large irises stand out even more. Her arms still shook slightly, and her hair had lost its shine. She smiled tiredly.
“I’m still here,” she said, voice raspy and hoarse.
Amara smiled back. “You’re still here.”
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2023.05.31 17:37 Which_Assumption_992 Groomed as a Teenager. I'm lucky to still be here.
I'm really sorry if this isn't the right subreddit to talk about this. Please take it down if it isn't. I realise that the stories people have told here are so much more traumatic, and I feel mine isn't even close to comparable as I never was actually abused. I mainly wanted to mention this just to sort of... I guess get it out there and maybe... just maybe meet someone who experienced the same as me.
Back when I was around 15-16, I broke up with my ex and I was beyond heartbroken. I basically cried for days and wanted to find anyone who would give me even the tiniest bit of affection. Somehow though, and I know this was a beyond stupid idea... I decided to go onto Omegle to meet people. I met a guy who called himself Julian, saying he was from France and was a medical student. He was incredibly nice to me and often went out of his way to praise me and make me feel good. Kinda exactly what I was begging for after my breakup.
We eventually started dating, with it being a long distance relationship as I was from the UK. We spoke for a few months online, though sadly being young and so blinded by the affection he gave me, I never realised how manipulative he truly was. The things he would say seemed so innocent and caring to me, but they were full of attempts to guilt-trip me while at the same time throwing in constant praise about how amazing I was, how cute and gorgeous I was. He would say all this while occasionally mentioning how if it wasn't for me, he'd of killed himself by now. We had casual talks but this was basically constant for several months. I didn't think anything of it because I was so in love with him.
After a few months went by, we planned to meet up someday. He wanted to come to the UK and take me on a trip to London... just us two.. alone. As I type this, I remember that he even mentioned wanted to specifically rent a car so we could just be alone on the trip. Again, being so naïve and blinded I didn't realise how questionable this was when aside from a few random images, I had never actually seen his face on a video call. He always refused claiming it was due to being shy. All I had was a few random images of some guy he claimed to be.
Soon after, I told my parents as I wanted them to know about this guy I had been dating and that he was coming to visit. My mum was cautious but I'm not sure if she thought much of it. She asked to meet the guy first which Julian claimed he was fine with. I kinda thought that meant he wasn't a danger until I realised years later that child groomers will often happily meet parents. My mum did though tell my Dad who I never actually intended to tell because we didn't really see each other much. When I next stayed at his, him and my step mum asked a number of questions and eventually asked to see my chats with him. I wasn't okay with it but he claimed that he'd only be okay with this if he could see our chats. It wasn't soon after that he refused to give me my phone back as he basically noticed the red flags immediately. He went through a number of conversations that were just unnatural, being full of constant praise, guilt-tripping, and generally hugely one sided towards me just so he could make me feel good. He told me how no one talks like this but I didn't believe him and had a full on meltdown over it trying to convince him that he is a good guy. He eventually took my phone, my laptop, and basically blocked me from accessing the internet completely. I honestly cried and cried. I hated him at the time.
When I went back to my mums, I was still horribly upset and full on breaking down. I was so distressed by everything that I remember literally hitting my head against the car trying to hurt myself. When I got home, I had my main computer that I could use so I finally got back in contact with Julian after everything. Little did I know that my Dad was actually using my Laptop to spy on me and this conversation I was having with him. He told my mum who immediately came storming upstairs to tell me to get off the Internet completely.
After a few hours, things sort of calmed down. I can't remember how but I managed to contact Julian again without my dad knowing and I proceeded to ask a number of questions about who he actually was. I had actually found a Facebook account of a guy who went by a different name but had the exact same photos that Julian had sent me. He claimed they were a friend who gave him permission to use his photos, but yet whenever I asked for him to send me even one photo of the actual him, he just made up excuses. He really just wouldn't tell me who he was, instead choosing to come up with constant excuses while throwing in the occasional guilt-trip about how he'd kill himself if we broke up. Despite all this though, I was still blinded and loved him. I mentioned to him that once I grew up, we can be together and I couldn't wait for the day. The last message I ever got from him was: "I promise you .. i won't give up that easy .. i will always think about you and try to smile my pain away everytime i wake up.. i promise i will be seeing and knowing that you are happy.. i promise you that from now on i won't be ready to run". I believe that was actually before my dad found out about us talking again.
I've tried to speak to him again over the years but never got a response. The accounts he used to talk to me seem to have been inactive since that day, and I can't find anything about him. He's pretty much a ghost and I feel I'll never truly know who he was. All I can say though is that I feel if my parents didn't intervene, I wouldn't be here today to make this post. I don't know what he would have done to me, but I guess its best not to think about it. I honestly worry about the people who maybe weren't as fortunate I was. It actually scares me to know how close I was to losing everything, and the idea that maybe some people actually did...
But yea, That's the story of how I was groomed. I'm 24 now so it was quite a long time ago, and honestly I don't even think much of it nowadays. I honestly kinda feel like I should though. I really just wish I knew who he actually was but I know I'll never find out. I guess the lesson here aside from don't speak to strangers on Omegle is to not let your emotions get the better of you. All I wanted was affection after a breakup and it nearly costed me my life.
submitted by Which_Assumption_992 to adultsurvivors [link] [comments]
Back when I was around 15-16, I broke up with my ex and I was beyond heartbroken. I basically cried for days and wanted to find anyone who would give me even the tiniest bit of affection. Somehow though, and I know this was a beyond stupid idea... I decided to go onto Omegle to meet people. I met a guy who called himself Julian, saying he was from France and was a medical student. He was incredibly nice to me and often went out of his way to praise me and make me feel good. Kinda exactly what I was begging for after my breakup.
We eventually started dating, with it being a long distance relationship as I was from the UK. We spoke for a few months online, though sadly being young and so blinded by the affection he gave me, I never realised how manipulative he truly was. The things he would say seemed so innocent and caring to me, but they were full of attempts to guilt-trip me while at the same time throwing in constant praise about how amazing I was, how cute and gorgeous I was. He would say all this while occasionally mentioning how if it wasn't for me, he'd of killed himself by now. We had casual talks but this was basically constant for several months. I didn't think anything of it because I was so in love with him.
After a few months went by, we planned to meet up someday. He wanted to come to the UK and take me on a trip to London... just us two.. alone. As I type this, I remember that he even mentioned wanted to specifically rent a car so we could just be alone on the trip. Again, being so naïve and blinded I didn't realise how questionable this was when aside from a few random images, I had never actually seen his face on a video call. He always refused claiming it was due to being shy. All I had was a few random images of some guy he claimed to be.
Soon after, I told my parents as I wanted them to know about this guy I had been dating and that he was coming to visit. My mum was cautious but I'm not sure if she thought much of it. She asked to meet the guy first which Julian claimed he was fine with. I kinda thought that meant he wasn't a danger until I realised years later that child groomers will often happily meet parents. My mum did though tell my Dad who I never actually intended to tell because we didn't really see each other much. When I next stayed at his, him and my step mum asked a number of questions and eventually asked to see my chats with him. I wasn't okay with it but he claimed that he'd only be okay with this if he could see our chats. It wasn't soon after that he refused to give me my phone back as he basically noticed the red flags immediately. He went through a number of conversations that were just unnatural, being full of constant praise, guilt-tripping, and generally hugely one sided towards me just so he could make me feel good. He told me how no one talks like this but I didn't believe him and had a full on meltdown over it trying to convince him that he is a good guy. He eventually took my phone, my laptop, and basically blocked me from accessing the internet completely. I honestly cried and cried. I hated him at the time.
When I went back to my mums, I was still horribly upset and full on breaking down. I was so distressed by everything that I remember literally hitting my head against the car trying to hurt myself. When I got home, I had my main computer that I could use so I finally got back in contact with Julian after everything. Little did I know that my Dad was actually using my Laptop to spy on me and this conversation I was having with him. He told my mum who immediately came storming upstairs to tell me to get off the Internet completely.
After a few hours, things sort of calmed down. I can't remember how but I managed to contact Julian again without my dad knowing and I proceeded to ask a number of questions about who he actually was. I had actually found a Facebook account of a guy who went by a different name but had the exact same photos that Julian had sent me. He claimed they were a friend who gave him permission to use his photos, but yet whenever I asked for him to send me even one photo of the actual him, he just made up excuses. He really just wouldn't tell me who he was, instead choosing to come up with constant excuses while throwing in the occasional guilt-trip about how he'd kill himself if we broke up. Despite all this though, I was still blinded and loved him. I mentioned to him that once I grew up, we can be together and I couldn't wait for the day. The last message I ever got from him was: "I promise you .. i won't give up that easy .. i will always think about you and try to smile my pain away everytime i wake up.. i promise i will be seeing and knowing that you are happy.. i promise you that from now on i won't be ready to run". I believe that was actually before my dad found out about us talking again.
I've tried to speak to him again over the years but never got a response. The accounts he used to talk to me seem to have been inactive since that day, and I can't find anything about him. He's pretty much a ghost and I feel I'll never truly know who he was. All I can say though is that I feel if my parents didn't intervene, I wouldn't be here today to make this post. I don't know what he would have done to me, but I guess its best not to think about it. I honestly worry about the people who maybe weren't as fortunate I was. It actually scares me to know how close I was to losing everything, and the idea that maybe some people actually did...
But yea, That's the story of how I was groomed. I'm 24 now so it was quite a long time ago, and honestly I don't even think much of it nowadays. I honestly kinda feel like I should though. I really just wish I knew who he actually was but I know I'll never find out. I guess the lesson here aside from don't speak to strangers on Omegle is to not let your emotions get the better of you. All I wanted was affection after a breakup and it nearly costed me my life.
2023.05.31 17:37 onlyredtrades Met TF while she is in a serious long-term relationship
I met my TF while they were in a serious long term relationship, with someone who honestly seems like their soulmate. It was your standard world-overturning tf encounter, I dont need to go into a lot of detail, but to me it seemed completely mutual, to be clear none of us ever confessed or was explicit about what happened, nor brought up the idea of tf. Shortly after meeting she has spontaenously gotten a new job, moved far away to be closer to her partner, and been completely cold to me/shutting down any attempt to talk or meet up, acting in a way she works very hard to hide with nearly anyone else. We are essentially in no contact.
Obviously I have internal work to do and need to get my life together, and Im not interested in forcibly breaking up their relationship; if the TF stuff is really destiny then union will happen naturally.
But I cant help but wonder whats going through her mind. How is she continuing to see her partner after such a powerful moment? How does she seem to be living totally unaffected, living as she was before, while Im here totally broken by the encounter and poor circumstances that led to abandonment? Does she feel any sadness over the situation? Am I imagining the whole thing, is it actually a one sided delusion on my part? I hope a runner tf or someone who has experienced similar could give me insight into what is happening. Thank you
submitted by onlyredtrades to twinflames [link] [comments]
Obviously I have internal work to do and need to get my life together, and Im not interested in forcibly breaking up their relationship; if the TF stuff is really destiny then union will happen naturally.
But I cant help but wonder whats going through her mind. How is she continuing to see her partner after such a powerful moment? How does she seem to be living totally unaffected, living as she was before, while Im here totally broken by the encounter and poor circumstances that led to abandonment? Does she feel any sadness over the situation? Am I imagining the whole thing, is it actually a one sided delusion on my part? I hope a runner tf or someone who has experienced similar could give me insight into what is happening. Thank you
2023.05.31 17:37 Far-Preference-7782 please help
hi, I have no idea where to find realistic advice/help and I thought this would be the best place to ask. my dad has been abusive to me, my brother, and my mom for years. both physically and mentally/verbally. I can't speak for my brother, but the times my dad got violent towards me were because I didn't get "good" grades and satisfied his expectations. he always abused my mom and blamed her for not raising her children right and said it's all her fault. I moved into college last summer and thought everything was going well, until I came back home a few days ago. I told my dad that I didn't want to pursue premed and wanted to do cs. he got extremely angry and yelled at me for not respecting him as a parent and wanting to live my own life. we ended the conversation by agreeing to take more time to think about what's best for my future and talk again. however, my mom told me last night that he hit her face and kicked her legs at the park, once again blaming her for me not wanting to do premed. this is obviously so flabbergasting and frustrating, because my mom has no fault?? and I really don't see what's wrong with me wanting to do something that I want to do. I know most of this might not make much sense, but that's pretty much the gist of it. I definitely think my dad has a mental disorder. anyways, I really don't know what to do. or what I can do. I really don't want my dad to associate himself with any of us anymore. my mom has suffered so much because of him. you might question why we haven't done anything to remove him from our lives - but my dad is actually insane. my mom has constantly told us that she's always been too scared to do anything about this, because she knows he would definitely find a way to come back. it wouldn't be an exaggeration if I said he would kill all of us, and then kill himself. also, all of the members in my mom's family passed away, so she literally has no one but me and my brother, whereas my dad has his entire siblings/parents/etc. is there any realistic solution to this situation? would a restraining order be enough? what about our house, car, the financial aspect? there's so many things to put into consideration I have no idea where to even begin. I just feel so bad for my mom. she's put up with this for years and years, unable to escape because she had no one to help her and she knows my dad would find a way to come back and destroy her. I'm sorry for blabbering but I seriously don't know what to do. I know it's also my fault for not taking step towards fixing this issue, but in the back of my mind, he's my father and I didn't want to ruin his life either. but things have gotten too far now and I really want to put an end to this. tldr, I'd like realistic advice as to whether a restraining order (or anything of that sort) would be enough to make sure my dad is not able to reach out or meet me, my brother, and my mom in any way. please let me emphasize once again that my dad is actually insane and if I were to take this situation lightly, he would find a way to come back and kill all of us. so I really need to find a way where he CANNOT come near us...I'd appreciate all the help I can get. thank you so so much
submitted by Far-Preference-7782 to legal [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 17:37 funfdeadlyvenoms Best old-school, non-prescription solutions?
My eczema, despite a near year-long flare, is probably in the mild side. Yet, it's really sucked, so I really empathize with all of you struggling with worse.
What I've found: steroid creams rebound and make me more prone to flares elsewhere, while oral prednisone - while amazing - is obviously a short-term solution.
Some inexpensive, non-prescription things that have helped me the most:
1) Coal tar soap. Especially letting the soap absorb for a minute before washing off with cold water.
2) Coal tar cream, ala MG217 brand. Really fights the inflammation and also some mild anti-fungal properties. Just don't rub in too vigorously as I'm always tempted to do.
3) Anti-fungal soap. Mine has 1% tolnaftate. I think fungus is an underrated cause of eczema, at least it was for me. Really helped me a lot.
4) Avoiding lots of topical anti-bacterial things, like anti-bac bandages, neosporin, etc. This seems to cause redness and irritation and itchiness in my skin.
5) Ice packs! Recommended by my wife's allergist for her post-shot inflammation. This also helps a ton if you are patient. Like wet wraps, but less messy.
What's helped you guys?
submitted by funfdeadlyvenoms to eczema [link] [comments]
What I've found: steroid creams rebound and make me more prone to flares elsewhere, while oral prednisone - while amazing - is obviously a short-term solution.
Some inexpensive, non-prescription things that have helped me the most:
1) Coal tar soap. Especially letting the soap absorb for a minute before washing off with cold water.
2) Coal tar cream, ala MG217 brand. Really fights the inflammation and also some mild anti-fungal properties. Just don't rub in too vigorously as I'm always tempted to do.
3) Anti-fungal soap. Mine has 1% tolnaftate. I think fungus is an underrated cause of eczema, at least it was for me. Really helped me a lot.
4) Avoiding lots of topical anti-bacterial things, like anti-bac bandages, neosporin, etc. This seems to cause redness and irritation and itchiness in my skin.
5) Ice packs! Recommended by my wife's allergist for her post-shot inflammation. This also helps a ton if you are patient. Like wet wraps, but less messy.
What's helped you guys?
2023.05.31 17:36 DovesMcGinnis Lease break due to medical condition/doctor's note in AZ.
I live in an apartment underneath the fitness center in an apartment building. I was made aware that the apartment was under the fitness center and there was some noise due to that. However I did not understand how loud it would be.
The banging of the weights is actually quieter in the gym than in my apartment below. I work from home in a relatively stressful job field and there are days where someone is working out until nearly 1am and then there is someone else starting a workout at 4:30am. The stress from the sporadic banging and apartment shaking combined with the lack of sleep has caused my work to suffer and I am beginning to suffer from panic attacks due to the lack of sleep and stress.
I am fully prepared to pay the fee to break my lease early, but is there a precedent to end my lease without having to pay the fee? I asked about transferring apartments within the building and they say that I must wait a certain period of time until I can transfer. I would rather pay the fee then wait for a transfer. Being able to sleep for longer that 4-5 hours a night is a very high priority for me, to the extent that I will pay the fee anyways if nothing comes up. However, the fee is about 5000 USD and I would prefer not to have to pay that.
submitted by DovesMcGinnis to legaladvice [link] [comments]
The banging of the weights is actually quieter in the gym than in my apartment below. I work from home in a relatively stressful job field and there are days where someone is working out until nearly 1am and then there is someone else starting a workout at 4:30am. The stress from the sporadic banging and apartment shaking combined with the lack of sleep has caused my work to suffer and I am beginning to suffer from panic attacks due to the lack of sleep and stress.
I am fully prepared to pay the fee to break my lease early, but is there a precedent to end my lease without having to pay the fee? I asked about transferring apartments within the building and they say that I must wait a certain period of time until I can transfer. I would rather pay the fee then wait for a transfer. Being able to sleep for longer that 4-5 hours a night is a very high priority for me, to the extent that I will pay the fee anyways if nothing comes up. However, the fee is about 5000 USD and I would prefer not to have to pay that.
2023.05.31 17:36 Own-Narwhal-9001 What is the process of getting your child back?
I need some advice and to learn more about CPS and what to expect. This is going to be pretty long so will include a TLDR.
My sister "L" (32f) is an awful parent. She is constantly living in a home filled with animal feces, no food, no plumbing, etc. She still thinks she's 25, and is constantly out partying with whichever new boyfriend she has that week. My neice "T" (13f) is a great kid but has grown up in this awful situation. L leaves T alone for hours at a time during all hours of the night while she is out at the bars. T calls me at least once a week to tell me what her mom is doing and that she's bored. Her house is near horder level, filled with all sorts of cat and dog feces.
Let me preface by saying that I should've called CPS long ago, but I didn't want to be responsible for my sister losing her daughter.
Fast forward to this week. L has a new boyfriend with lots of money and was preparing to go on a 5 state vacation with him. T was not invited. T called me and told me she was staying with a friend during this time. I didn't realize until yesterday that she had lied to me. She was home by herself in this disgusting house with no food. If I would have known she was by herself, I would've let her stay with me, as would the rest of my family.
Last night, someone called CPS. I suspect it was T, and that this is her way of putting her mom in her place/giving her a wake up call, however this is not confirmed. The police showed up, took several pictures of the house, and sent her to a foster home for the night. The rest of my family tried to take her instead, however the police said it was too late to do background checks (it was about 10pm). My neice is terrified, obviously, but is with a safe family a city away. She still had her phone last night, but hasn't texted me back this morning, I assume the family took it.
Some of my family is on their way to L's house to clean and throw everything away. L is still several states away with no return in sight for the next couple of days. My father is going to get custody of T today and be her foster parent until L can get her back.
Now here is where I need info. My family thinks that if they clean the house, L will be able to take T back immediately. However, I don't believe this for a minute. Due to the state of the house, I assume that L will have to find a job (she's unemployed), take a drug test( she does several recreational drugs), and prove to CPS that T is safe there. I can see this being at least a month long process, if not more. I've read on the sub that a lot of times it takes years to get the child back. My sister is an awful parent, and thinks that this is just normal things.
I am just looking for some insight on what the process of getting your child back looks like. Any help is much appreciated.
TLDR: Niece is in a foster home, sister thinks she is going to get her back immediately, need info on the process for getting your child back. Sisters house is disgusting and she's a deadbeat parent.
Edit: I am in Idaho.
submitted by Own-Narwhal-9001 to CPS [link] [comments]
My sister "L" (32f) is an awful parent. She is constantly living in a home filled with animal feces, no food, no plumbing, etc. She still thinks she's 25, and is constantly out partying with whichever new boyfriend she has that week. My neice "T" (13f) is a great kid but has grown up in this awful situation. L leaves T alone for hours at a time during all hours of the night while she is out at the bars. T calls me at least once a week to tell me what her mom is doing and that she's bored. Her house is near horder level, filled with all sorts of cat and dog feces.
Let me preface by saying that I should've called CPS long ago, but I didn't want to be responsible for my sister losing her daughter.
Fast forward to this week. L has a new boyfriend with lots of money and was preparing to go on a 5 state vacation with him. T was not invited. T called me and told me she was staying with a friend during this time. I didn't realize until yesterday that she had lied to me. She was home by herself in this disgusting house with no food. If I would have known she was by herself, I would've let her stay with me, as would the rest of my family.
Last night, someone called CPS. I suspect it was T, and that this is her way of putting her mom in her place/giving her a wake up call, however this is not confirmed. The police showed up, took several pictures of the house, and sent her to a foster home for the night. The rest of my family tried to take her instead, however the police said it was too late to do background checks (it was about 10pm). My neice is terrified, obviously, but is with a safe family a city away. She still had her phone last night, but hasn't texted me back this morning, I assume the family took it.
Some of my family is on their way to L's house to clean and throw everything away. L is still several states away with no return in sight for the next couple of days. My father is going to get custody of T today and be her foster parent until L can get her back.
Now here is where I need info. My family thinks that if they clean the house, L will be able to take T back immediately. However, I don't believe this for a minute. Due to the state of the house, I assume that L will have to find a job (she's unemployed), take a drug test( she does several recreational drugs), and prove to CPS that T is safe there. I can see this being at least a month long process, if not more. I've read on the sub that a lot of times it takes years to get the child back. My sister is an awful parent, and thinks that this is just normal things.
I am just looking for some insight on what the process of getting your child back looks like. Any help is much appreciated.
TLDR: Niece is in a foster home, sister thinks she is going to get her back immediately, need info on the process for getting your child back. Sisters house is disgusting and she's a deadbeat parent.
Edit: I am in Idaho.
2023.05.31 17:34 letsgetsquatchy_0910 an aching sound
How do you all in trauma specialities and hospice do it? I’ve dealt with this sound several times but not nearly as much as you all have. I heard it yesterday, again, not at work - in my personal life, but it brought up so memories in this line of work hearing it. The sound of a heart literally breaking from losing someone - that gut-wrenching wail. It always shakes me up. Hospice maybe not as much because it is more expected, but I know you hear it often. But those of you in trauma/emergency specialties, I know you hear it a lot. I know it’s an odd post, but ever since yesterday, hearing it again, it’s weighed on my mind, heavily. How do you cope? I hope your alls mental health is doing okay.
submitted by letsgetsquatchy_0910 to nursing [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 17:34 acer2k US-23 accidents
Why are there so many accidents on US-23 along the east side of Ann Arbor? The stretch of highway between M-14 and I-94 seems to have daily accidents. As far as I can tell they are almost always on the stretch between Geddes and Washtenaw. To me it seems that there are more accidents per volume of traffic than similar stretches of highway near here. I-94/other sections of M-14/96 etc. It’s been the case since I moved here about 10 years ago. What gives?
submitted by acer2k to AnnArbor [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 17:33 risuboy Dont know what to do with myself
I know I have pretty bad anxious attachment issues to preface this but
I (f20) grew up as a fat quiet kid, and never really got much attention from any guys up until now. No guy I have liked has ever liked me back, or if they did he said he was pretending because he felt awkward for a bit. That kind of has me in a im unloveable worldview. I also just feel like its hard to find someone that I can connect with irl or in dating apps, ive never met someone that I liked on a dating app over 2 years. I met a guy a week ago who I had immediate chemistry with, exact same humor and everything. We went on a 3 dates and they were amazing, I asked him if he could see this going further he said yes and we kissed at the end of the 3rd date. I dont think its possible for me to meet someone with this insane level of compatibility again. Anyways his text messages got way more spaced out over 2 days and I was being left on delivered for like 12 hours. Now its been nearly 3 days at this point of no response at all. Its very confusing for me because I dont know what went wrong, it was literally a PERFECT date. Im devastated and im extremely desperate because I already fell for him and I know itll take ages if ill ever find someone this great again. I dont know what to do and i feel like im going insane.
submitted by risuboy to dating [link] [comments]
I (f20) grew up as a fat quiet kid, and never really got much attention from any guys up until now. No guy I have liked has ever liked me back, or if they did he said he was pretending because he felt awkward for a bit. That kind of has me in a im unloveable worldview. I also just feel like its hard to find someone that I can connect with irl or in dating apps, ive never met someone that I liked on a dating app over 2 years. I met a guy a week ago who I had immediate chemistry with, exact same humor and everything. We went on a 3 dates and they were amazing, I asked him if he could see this going further he said yes and we kissed at the end of the 3rd date. I dont think its possible for me to meet someone with this insane level of compatibility again. Anyways his text messages got way more spaced out over 2 days and I was being left on delivered for like 12 hours. Now its been nearly 3 days at this point of no response at all. Its very confusing for me because I dont know what went wrong, it was literally a PERFECT date. Im devastated and im extremely desperate because I already fell for him and I know itll take ages if ill ever find someone this great again. I dont know what to do and i feel like im going insane.
2023.05.31 17:33 Flying_Couager41 War is Over (Post Op) 17m
17m Grade 3 varicocele left side Surgery done laparoscopically Symptoms were pain when doing strenuous activities (sucks because i do track and workout very often)
Just had my Varicocelectomy done laparoscopically. Was very nervous because it was first surgery ever but the hospital staff and the nurses were lovely. My procedure as planned to be an hour and thirty minutes long, but it turned out to be a little over 2 hours and 30 minutes because my veins were much bigger than when I had my ultrasound done. One thing people don't talk on here is not the effects from the surgery itself but the anaesthesia. Which made me serverly nauseated when I stood up nearly fainted. My body felt hot and then my face felt wet. Thankfully they gave some medication for it and i was able to go straight home. My varicocele already looks smaller! And no fluid build up or swelling. Just soreness on the incisions and my left teste. For the pain they have me on ibuprofen every 6 hours and acetaminophen every 6 hours. I alternate them every three hours. Although I'm still far from making a full recovery I'll keep you guys posted and update you guys on the 6th week which is when I'll see the urologist again.
submitted by Flying_Couager41 to varicocele [link] [comments]
Just had my Varicocelectomy done laparoscopically. Was very nervous because it was first surgery ever but the hospital staff and the nurses were lovely. My procedure as planned to be an hour and thirty minutes long, but it turned out to be a little over 2 hours and 30 minutes because my veins were much bigger than when I had my ultrasound done. One thing people don't talk on here is not the effects from the surgery itself but the anaesthesia. Which made me serverly nauseated when I stood up nearly fainted. My body felt hot and then my face felt wet. Thankfully they gave some medication for it and i was able to go straight home. My varicocele already looks smaller! And no fluid build up or swelling. Just soreness on the incisions and my left teste. For the pain they have me on ibuprofen every 6 hours and acetaminophen every 6 hours. I alternate them every three hours. Although I'm still far from making a full recovery I'll keep you guys posted and update you guys on the 6th week which is when I'll see the urologist again.
2023.05.31 17:33 Starlea_Peach Was Feeling Pretty Good, then Overdrafted & Other FMADHD Stuff
TL:DR: Because I have ADHD, I missed crucial details and basic shit everyone else can do, I lost my 3rd job in 5 years, basically spent almost all my money in 2 months and held up my own unemployment, and I'm feeling like utter crap about it.
I lost my job in March, 3rd job in 5 years. Since this wasn't my first rodeo, I applied for unemployment insurance as soon as I was able. Got a letter a week later saying I would get $358 if I was approved, and applied diligently every week, managed to sorta fill out the worksearch records, and also qualified for other forms of assistance, including help finding a new career path (since Office type work is clearly not working for me!)
(Storytelling, meanders, too many details, but all important for context)
I've been living off a mass of savings in my checking, like, it was 6k after my last paycheck. The day before I lost my job, I bought a $850 plane ticket to visit a friend in April. Since I had money, already had the plane ticket, I figured it would be fine.
Well, I got stupid and complacent. I was getting worried that it has been nearly 3 months and I haven't gotten a single payment from unemployment. When I qualified for SNAP, the lady who worked on my case said it was taking longer because of all the fraud that happened over the pandemic, but it seemed too long to me. All these thoughts plagued me over the holiday weekend, so I made a note to do it Tuesday after I came home from all my appts and bringing my bf home from work, etc.
I check the mail when we get home, and I see something from my bank. This is never good. It was exactly what I thought it was: an overdraft notice. Luckily, when I was in dire straights back in 2017, the bank recomended I use their credit as a protection backup, but still, the notice was from the 22nd, which meant I had been paying for shit and it was hitting their credit thing and I had a negative balance of $203. HOW THE FUCK DID I SPEND 6K IN THREE MONTHS?!
I scrambled to check my bank account. It said my account didn't exist. I freaked and called their hotline. In the fall, my online banking had been deleted for no reason and when I set it back up I FORGOT TO WRITE THE NEW INFO DOWN BECAUSE OF COURSE I DID. And then like a dummy I didn't check my account for 6 weeks (I'm pretty sure I checked it when I returned).
So--I thought maybe I got hacked. Nope. There was an $800 vet visit (which I had accounted) and $730 for the AirBNB in April. I paid for my friends gas and we ate out a fair amount. I put some stuff on the credit card (which autobilled at $660 for April, but most of that was a car repair). I was wasteful and bought $130 in fabric, repaired my car's audio system for $330, and then stupidly went to the fancy farmers market with my friend and bought $20 in honey and $20 in art prints.
The rest was rent & utilities and odds and ends at the hardware store, groceries when my SNAP didn't come through because I assumed it came through on the first (for me, the 9th, but I did a big shop, it was $150). The utilities hit hard. I just am agog that the money went like that! And hella embarassed. My bf was so good about it. He's been living hand to mouth for several years now and he was patient and supportive while I had a boxing match with myself. I got complacent and stupid and made assumptions because it has been about 3 or so years since I was having to be so careful. Inflation is way worse than I accounted for, and I didn't even think about how I hadn't gotten a damn UI payment yet, which would at least float for a bit. I do not live extravagantly, though I do indulge in a fancy beverage once a week and tea at my favorite late night spot once a week. Even my bf was like "how? you don't buy anything."
Luckily, back in 2017 when I was hella broke, a teller advised since I got paid every two weeks to split my money between two accounts. That only happened for about 3 minutes, but over the plague (when I was also unemployed for the 2nd time), I put a lot of the stimulus money and extras into that account. I also forgot I had moneys in paypal & venmo that I never moved over, so I quickly moved a bit around so that I'd have SOMETHING to send the rent check out on.
So, I tried calling Unemployement, and I forgot my damn PIN, tried calling to get it reset, but it was the same fucking number and they asked for it anyway, and then I had to try 3 times before I could get a representative, then they had no one available, call back. I did that 3 or 4 times, then it was 445 pm.
I tried again this morning, starting at 8 am. 13 separate calls, 2 hours later and having to listen to all the prompts and info every time and go through the verification (I remembered my pin this morning), only to be told to call later, I finally made through on 13th call, waited on hold for 25 minutes (better than the 45 predicted). A very nice if possibly exhasperated lady told me my application was on hold because I hadn't verified my identity and that they sent me a notice on March 16th that I needed to do it.
My unemployment was basically sitting in a fucking hold box for 9 weeks or so, because I needed to verify my identity.
&$((@*@*@**@*#$$
She told me where to go online and I have done the thing, between computer and phone. I said I didn't recall getting in in the mail, but once on the site, I recognized the logo and did recall a little fucking shiny slip of paper in with my notice letter, but there was nothing saying YOU MUST DO THIS.
(Boring Ass Storytelling over, Rant and Pity Party Incoming)
I just feel really sad that All these things are all happening because of ADHD, and because my symptoms have gotten worse since reaching my early 40s. I started medication a year ago, and it helps so much, but I feel so frustrated that I've missed seamingly little things that are really fucking me up.
Just before I lost my job, I wanted to figure out my budget using an old spreadsheet I made, but I couldn't find the spreadsheet and didn't have the wearwithall to make a new one, especially after losing my job. It's just a simple thing, WHY CAN'T I JUST DO IT? I did one before!
And I've also been thinking of all the things that I wanted or thought I would be doing and haven't. I have half a closet of vintage clothes and accessories that I thought I would sell online. I'm an accomplished Tarot Reader, but I haven't done any of my lives, or explored starting that as a legit side gig, like I've been wanting to do for like, 5 years. Yeah, I mean, I've just moved my bf in, and that has required a lot of my time and energy, because I had to make room for him, and since some of his EF is worse than mine and I had the time, I helped him a lot with the move, especially with the things he wasn't good at, like the bathroom & kitchen sort and move, and cleaning.
And the Vocation Rehab is just starting, and I'm feeling discouraged by what kind of jobs and pay is out there. I'm just so sick of working really hard to keep at baseline. I've given up on ever owning real property, and probably ever retiring.
Whine Whine Whine.
Thank you for listening to my ADHD bullshit. Maybe some of you can relate? It's like the Death of A Thousand Cuts sometimes.
submitted by Starlea_Peach to adhdwomen [link] [comments]
I lost my job in March, 3rd job in 5 years. Since this wasn't my first rodeo, I applied for unemployment insurance as soon as I was able. Got a letter a week later saying I would get $358 if I was approved, and applied diligently every week, managed to sorta fill out the worksearch records, and also qualified for other forms of assistance, including help finding a new career path (since Office type work is clearly not working for me!)
(Storytelling, meanders, too many details, but all important for context)
I've been living off a mass of savings in my checking, like, it was 6k after my last paycheck. The day before I lost my job, I bought a $850 plane ticket to visit a friend in April. Since I had money, already had the plane ticket, I figured it would be fine.
Well, I got stupid and complacent. I was getting worried that it has been nearly 3 months and I haven't gotten a single payment from unemployment. When I qualified for SNAP, the lady who worked on my case said it was taking longer because of all the fraud that happened over the pandemic, but it seemed too long to me. All these thoughts plagued me over the holiday weekend, so I made a note to do it Tuesday after I came home from all my appts and bringing my bf home from work, etc.
I check the mail when we get home, and I see something from my bank. This is never good. It was exactly what I thought it was: an overdraft notice. Luckily, when I was in dire straights back in 2017, the bank recomended I use their credit as a protection backup, but still, the notice was from the 22nd, which meant I had been paying for shit and it was hitting their credit thing and I had a negative balance of $203. HOW THE FUCK DID I SPEND 6K IN THREE MONTHS?!
I scrambled to check my bank account. It said my account didn't exist. I freaked and called their hotline. In the fall, my online banking had been deleted for no reason and when I set it back up I FORGOT TO WRITE THE NEW INFO DOWN BECAUSE OF COURSE I DID. And then like a dummy I didn't check my account for 6 weeks (I'm pretty sure I checked it when I returned).
So--I thought maybe I got hacked. Nope. There was an $800 vet visit (which I had accounted) and $730 for the AirBNB in April. I paid for my friends gas and we ate out a fair amount. I put some stuff on the credit card (which autobilled at $660 for April, but most of that was a car repair). I was wasteful and bought $130 in fabric, repaired my car's audio system for $330, and then stupidly went to the fancy farmers market with my friend and bought $20 in honey and $20 in art prints.
The rest was rent & utilities and odds and ends at the hardware store, groceries when my SNAP didn't come through because I assumed it came through on the first (for me, the 9th, but I did a big shop, it was $150). The utilities hit hard. I just am agog that the money went like that! And hella embarassed. My bf was so good about it. He's been living hand to mouth for several years now and he was patient and supportive while I had a boxing match with myself. I got complacent and stupid and made assumptions because it has been about 3 or so years since I was having to be so careful. Inflation is way worse than I accounted for, and I didn't even think about how I hadn't gotten a damn UI payment yet, which would at least float for a bit. I do not live extravagantly, though I do indulge in a fancy beverage once a week and tea at my favorite late night spot once a week. Even my bf was like "how? you don't buy anything."
Luckily, back in 2017 when I was hella broke, a teller advised since I got paid every two weeks to split my money between two accounts. That only happened for about 3 minutes, but over the plague (when I was also unemployed for the 2nd time), I put a lot of the stimulus money and extras into that account. I also forgot I had moneys in paypal & venmo that I never moved over, so I quickly moved a bit around so that I'd have SOMETHING to send the rent check out on.
So, I tried calling Unemployement, and I forgot my damn PIN, tried calling to get it reset, but it was the same fucking number and they asked for it anyway, and then I had to try 3 times before I could get a representative, then they had no one available, call back. I did that 3 or 4 times, then it was 445 pm.
I tried again this morning, starting at 8 am. 13 separate calls, 2 hours later and having to listen to all the prompts and info every time and go through the verification (I remembered my pin this morning), only to be told to call later, I finally made through on 13th call, waited on hold for 25 minutes (better than the 45 predicted). A very nice if possibly exhasperated lady told me my application was on hold because I hadn't verified my identity and that they sent me a notice on March 16th that I needed to do it.
My unemployment was basically sitting in a fucking hold box for 9 weeks or so, because I needed to verify my identity.
&$((@*@*@**@*#$$
She told me where to go online and I have done the thing, between computer and phone. I said I didn't recall getting in in the mail, but once on the site, I recognized the logo and did recall a little fucking shiny slip of paper in with my notice letter, but there was nothing saying YOU MUST DO THIS.
(Boring Ass Storytelling over, Rant and Pity Party Incoming)
I just feel really sad that All these things are all happening because of ADHD, and because my symptoms have gotten worse since reaching my early 40s. I started medication a year ago, and it helps so much, but I feel so frustrated that I've missed seamingly little things that are really fucking me up.
Just before I lost my job, I wanted to figure out my budget using an old spreadsheet I made, but I couldn't find the spreadsheet and didn't have the wearwithall to make a new one, especially after losing my job. It's just a simple thing, WHY CAN'T I JUST DO IT? I did one before!
And I've also been thinking of all the things that I wanted or thought I would be doing and haven't. I have half a closet of vintage clothes and accessories that I thought I would sell online. I'm an accomplished Tarot Reader, but I haven't done any of my lives, or explored starting that as a legit side gig, like I've been wanting to do for like, 5 years. Yeah, I mean, I've just moved my bf in, and that has required a lot of my time and energy, because I had to make room for him, and since some of his EF is worse than mine and I had the time, I helped him a lot with the move, especially with the things he wasn't good at, like the bathroom & kitchen sort and move, and cleaning.
And the Vocation Rehab is just starting, and I'm feeling discouraged by what kind of jobs and pay is out there. I'm just so sick of working really hard to keep at baseline. I've given up on ever owning real property, and probably ever retiring.
Whine Whine Whine.
Thank you for listening to my ADHD bullshit. Maybe some of you can relate? It's like the Death of A Thousand Cuts sometimes.
2023.05.31 17:31 LarkingnLurking 3 Day CMB
Hello, I’m new to bonds but did anyone else see that the Treasury is offering a 3 Day CMB. Is there anyway to find what the rate will be? And I saw that it isn’t open to retail. So, do I need to call Fidelity or Charles Schwab? Thank you!
submitted by LarkingnLurking to bonds [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 17:31 Turbulent-Poem-7054 People can really suck
To make a long story short - I slept with my girlfriend for the first time. It was my first time with a woman and she’s, what I jokingly call, a veteran and it was nowhere near her first time with a woman. Things with her have been going great and the whole time she made me not feel self conscious or nervous at all. It was a beautiful experience.
Fast forward to me talking to my best friend about the whole situation. She has been so supportive of me because I recently came out and I’ve struggled with who I am for a long time. But when I was talking to her about everything I was very open about what occurred because she was curious and she immediately was like “I don’t get how you can consider any of that sex. It’s just long foreplay, hands and mouths.” And she just kept doubling down on the fact that sex isn’t sex unless basically something phallic is present and I was just stunned. I feel like I can’t talk to her about anything regarding this anymore. Because no matter how hard I tried to explain how bad of a take that was she kept getting more and more uppity about it. “It’s just how I feel” I get that sex is considered something different to every person…but her thought process erases almost all wlw intimacy that I’ve learned about, in my eyes.
I just needed to vent about it because I still can’t believe after how supportive she has been and she thinks that. Maybe it just makes her uncomfortable. But idk.
submitted by Turbulent-Poem-7054 to actuallesbians [link] [comments]
Fast forward to me talking to my best friend about the whole situation. She has been so supportive of me because I recently came out and I’ve struggled with who I am for a long time. But when I was talking to her about everything I was very open about what occurred because she was curious and she immediately was like “I don’t get how you can consider any of that sex. It’s just long foreplay, hands and mouths.” And she just kept doubling down on the fact that sex isn’t sex unless basically something phallic is present and I was just stunned. I feel like I can’t talk to her about anything regarding this anymore. Because no matter how hard I tried to explain how bad of a take that was she kept getting more and more uppity about it. “It’s just how I feel” I get that sex is considered something different to every person…but her thought process erases almost all wlw intimacy that I’ve learned about, in my eyes.
I just needed to vent about it because I still can’t believe after how supportive she has been and she thinks that. Maybe it just makes her uncomfortable. But idk.
2023.05.31 17:30 ItsEsmeJones [M4A] When Donnie Met Baby Pt. 2 [Unhinged Mafioso Speaker][Brave Listener][*Definitely* Not Yandere][Reverse Comfort][Dom to Sub][Shipwreck][Rescue][Being Vulnerable][Supernatural?][Protective][Possessive][Super Loving][Lore Drops][Comedy?][Oh No He's Hot][CW: Hate Crimes Against Lizards]
Part 1
Context: You were a DJ for a strip club. At least, you were before you met the mobster Donovan Greywater aka 'Donnie'. You met him during a tense shift at the club, and he's been hung up on you ever since. He's crazy, there's no questioning it, but he's got a lot of redeeming qualities! He's even taking you out on a fancy cruise for your first big couple's activity. Doesn't that sound nice?
Setting: A distinctly reptilian island
Tags:[M4A][Unhinged Mafioso Speaker][Brave Listener][Definitely Not Yandere][Reverse Comfort][Dom to Sub][Shipwreck][Rescue][Being Vulnerable][Supernatural?][Protective][Possessive][Super Loving][Lore Drops][Comedy?][Oh No He's Hot][CW: Hate Crimes Against Lizards]
Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Gender flipping is OK! Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording, please note:
Monetization: All forms of monetization are OK with me! Youtube, Patreon, etc. I would appreciate being able to listen to the recording, if possible. Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you!
Other Donnie appearances:
Sweet as Honey Pt. 2
Breaking the Bad Boy
The Prince of Crows
Check out the rest of my scripts by using the Script Directory
[Scene opens in…???]
[SFX: Faint hissing/tropical forest ambiance/ocean waves lapping sand nearby]
[...You were on a boat, you’re sure…]
[SFX: Faint sounds of a boat collision/crash/people screaming]
[...You were on a boat with your boyfriend before it hit a reef]
[Pause…]
[You were with… Donnie]
[SFX: The Listener falling into the water before the memory fades and they begin to wake]
[...Donnie…?]
Ba-y!
[SFX: Reptilian hissing]
BABY! HANG ON, I SEE YOU, HANG ON!!
[Your eyes open slowly. Everything hurts]
[SFX: Louder reptilian hissing]
“BABY, GET UP, THAT’S A FUCKIN’ KOMODO-!”
[Your brain runs through your love of animals encyclopedia. Komodo dragons currently are ranking in the “fuck that” section]
[SFX: Donnie sprinting]
“Godamnit, you giant septic tank of a fucking monitor lizard, back off my BABY!”
[That’s about when you get to see your mobster boyfriend full-on suplex a ten-foot prehistoric middle finger]
[SFX: Confused, panicked hissing]
[P-Pause…]
[Donnie throws the poor creature aside, panting]
“...It’s OK… Ship crashed, we’re on a fucking Komodo island, I just suplexed a Komodo dragon, it’s fine…”
[SFX: A LOT more reptilian hissing]
[Your boyfriend snarls through his teeth, clenches his fist, and whips around]
“...Or I’m going to have to make you fuckers extinct in the sanctity of your own fucking home… C’MON, YOU KNIFE-TEETH HIDIN’, CHEAP-CAMPIN’, GRAVE-ROBBIN’ muddaFUCKAS!”
[You curl in a ball, trying to protect your twisted ankle while your boyfriend squares up with near-literal dinosaurs]
[...]
[This is it. This is how you both die, you’re sure of it…]
[Pause - Break]
[Somehow, you both still live. About an hour after the initial confrontation, Donnie has you riding on his back as he hurries through the dense jungle]
[...]
[Donnie laughs as he carries you on his back]
“Shit, I didn’t expect to take out twenty of ‘em either! Guess boxing with Enzo is actually doing me some good. Told you we weren’t dying today!”
[Pause]
“Yeah, the one that doesn’t understand memes. Nice guy. Kind of a dumbass, tho.”
[...?]
“Hell yes, I’m gonna tell him I beat up twenty Komodo dragons with my bare fucking fists! And teeth, a little…”
[Pause]
“Hey, One-Eye bit me first. Fucker.”
[...]
[His voice softens]
“Hey, hey...We’re gonna be OK, Baby, don’t you worry. This ain’t my first ship-crashing scenario. How’s the ankle…?”
[...]
[He sighs]
“...First vacation together as a couple and the ship sinks… My fuckin’ luck… Just wanted to take my sweetheart somewhere nice and BOOM! Fuckin’ Komodo Island. Komodo my fuckin’ ass.”
[...]
“...Hey. You wanna hear the greatest love story never told?”
[...Pause?]
[He chuckles, still hefting you with ease]
“Well, it begins with a man named Lucien Greywater and a little bellhop at a hotel. A mobster staying at a nice hotel when someone ran in to try and gun him down and this little sassy minx named Milly charged the guy with a suitcase! Knocks him clean out!”
[Pause!]
[He laughs, maneuvering through the brush]
“I know! And then Miss Milly turns back to look at Mr. Greywater, who is in absolute awe, by the way, and says, ‘Dang Mister, don’t you know how to protect yourself? You outta get you a bodyguard’.”
[Pause????]
“What did he say? Well, as Dad liked to recount it, he put on his most devastating romantic smolder and said, ‘Yeah? You’re hired’.”
[Pause!]
“Oho, I don’t think Ma was expecting him to be that confident either, especially not after that display. But… for all of his faults, Pops always knew what he wanted, and that feisty little bellhop had just stolen his heart, right in front of him!”
[Pause <3]
“Heh… Yeah. Dad wasn’t always warm… He didn’t always have a kind word… but I knew he loved Mom, and Mom loved me, so… I think that’s enough, you know?”
[...]
[SFX: Him continuing to jog]
“It’s been a while since I been out here but I think I have a spot for just such a disaster as this.”
[Pause???]
[Donnie laughs]
“Baby, I’m psychic, remember? I have a lot of shelters, bug-out plans, weapons, and various other means to keep my business from crashing pretty much worldwide, and, yeah, crashing on Komodo Island was one of those. Didn’t expect I’d be piggybacking my partner during, hehe. Ah! There we go. See that little cabin there?”
[Pause]
“Eyup, all ours, and Komodo free… Well, it better be. I don’t mind putting more lizards in the ground but I also don’t wanna get yelled at if the fuckers are endangered or something.”
[Pause…]
[SFX: A lock being fiddled with and a door swinging open]
[He manages to get the cabin open and carry you in, setting you down on an immaculate couch]
“There we go… You sit right here for a sec, Baby, OK? I’m gonna wrap your ankle.”
[Pause]
[SFX: Cloth ripping]
[To your shock, he rips his expensive jacket for strips of cloth and wraps your ankle]
[Pause!]
“Huh? What about my jacket?”
[Pause!!]
“Pfft, yeah, it’s expensive. Who cares? If it was sentimental, I wouldn’t wear it, and I can always just toss on a damned muscle shirt or somethin’. Your ankle’s hurt… and Donnie wants to take care of his Baby, alright?”
[...]
“Heh… God, I love that smile. Sit still, OK?”
[Pause]
[SFX: Extended cloth shuffling/ripping mixed in with some Donnie grumbles/swears]
“There we go… Phew, honestly? Being shirtless is a lot nicer in this heat, sheesh.”
[...]
“...Someone’s ogling me.”
[Pause…]
“Hey, you’re allowed to! C’mon… How come you won’t look at me for more than a second or two?”
[...]
[He sits next to you, listening while you explain]
[Long Pause]
“...Partners in the past were richer than you and treated you like property, so you’re leery about not being able to take care of yourself…”
[...]
[He nods, more to himself than anything or one else]
“...Anyone I’d know?”
[...]
“You want ‘em dead?”
[Pause!]
[He huffs but nods again]
“...I get it. I have a lot of power and a lot of money and I’m a scary guy. I’d be fuckin’ scared to trust me, too…”
[...]
[He tenses as you rest your head on his shoulder but immediately eases]
“Oh? Resting your head on my shoulder, huh?”
[...Pause]
“Heh… Yeah, I don’t doubt you don’t know a lot of people that’d fight a dinosaur for you… but I would. I know most of those assholes would have left you there to be food, but when Donovan Greywater says he loves someone more than his own life, he means it.”
[...Pause <3]
[He giggles a little with that raw chaos energy]
“Ooh, you never noticed how buff I was? Oh no, not my Babydoll flirting with me while we’re both delirious off of adrenaline.”
[You share a little kiss, at ease]
[<3]
“Hmhm, mwah. I do love kisses from you… But, ah, before we start acting like randy idiots, let me go ahead and put in a request for emergency rescue. I saw a bunch of people swimming for another part of the island, but I doubt everyone made it off the ship…”
[...]
[He stands with a sigh, running his hands through his hair]
“...I’ll make you a strong drink while I’m a it. Gotta take care of my Baby, eh?”
[Pause <3]
“I’d love a back rub when I get back, Sweetness. You hear any hissing or lizard sass, you know what to do.”
[Pause?]
[He tosses his head back and laughs]
“Godamn right! Aim for the throats and insult their ancestors!”
[With that, he heads off into what you presume is the kitchen. It’s not exactly how you saw your first vacation with your new boyfriend going but… fuck it, right? He beat up dinosaurs for you and he’s hot]
[To be continued?]
Note: The Only Thing Komodo Fear is Donnie.
submitted by ItsEsmeJones to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]
Setting: A distinctly reptilian island
Tags:[M4A][Unhinged Mafioso Speaker][Brave Listener][Definitely Not Yandere][Reverse Comfort][Dom to Sub][Shipwreck][Rescue][Being Vulnerable][Supernatural?][Protective][Possessive][Super Loving][Lore Drops][Comedy?][Oh No He's Hot][CW: Hate Crimes Against Lizards]
Usage: You may tweak or record this script. Gender flipping is OK! Please credit me if you use this script in any of your projects. If you would like to use this script for a paywalled recording, please note:
Monetization: All forms of monetization are OK with me! Youtube, Patreon, etc. I would appreciate being able to listen to the recording, if possible. Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you!
Sweet as Honey Pt. 2
Breaking the Bad Boy
The Prince of Crows
[SFX: Faint hissing/tropical forest ambiance/ocean waves lapping sand nearby]
[...You were on a boat, you’re sure…]
[SFX: Faint sounds of a boat collision/crash/people screaming]
[...You were on a boat with your boyfriend before it hit a reef]
[Pause…]
[You were with… Donnie]
[SFX: The Listener falling into the water before the memory fades and they begin to wake]
[...Donnie…?]
Ba-y!
[SFX: Reptilian hissing]
BABY! HANG ON, I SEE YOU, HANG ON!!
[Your eyes open slowly. Everything hurts]
[SFX: Louder reptilian hissing]
“BABY, GET UP, THAT’S A FUCKIN’ KOMODO-!”
[Your brain runs through your love of animals encyclopedia. Komodo dragons currently are ranking in the “fuck that” section]
[SFX: Donnie sprinting]
“Godamnit, you giant septic tank of a fucking monitor lizard, back off my BABY!”
[That’s about when you get to see your mobster boyfriend full-on suplex a ten-foot prehistoric middle finger]
[SFX: Confused, panicked hissing]
[P-Pause…]
[Donnie throws the poor creature aside, panting]
“...It’s OK… Ship crashed, we’re on a fucking Komodo island, I just suplexed a Komodo dragon, it’s fine…”
[SFX: A LOT more reptilian hissing]
[Your boyfriend snarls through his teeth, clenches his fist, and whips around]
“...Or I’m going to have to make you fuckers extinct in the sanctity of your own fucking home… C’MON, YOU KNIFE-TEETH HIDIN’, CHEAP-CAMPIN’, GRAVE-ROBBIN’ muddaFUCKAS!”
[You curl in a ball, trying to protect your twisted ankle while your boyfriend squares up with near-literal dinosaurs]
[...]
[This is it. This is how you both die, you’re sure of it…]
[Pause - Break]
[Somehow, you both still live. About an hour after the initial confrontation, Donnie has you riding on his back as he hurries through the dense jungle]
[...]
[Donnie laughs as he carries you on his back]
“Shit, I didn’t expect to take out twenty of ‘em either! Guess boxing with Enzo is actually doing me some good. Told you we weren’t dying today!”
[Pause]
“Yeah, the one that doesn’t understand memes. Nice guy. Kind of a dumbass, tho.”
[...?]
“Hell yes, I’m gonna tell him I beat up twenty Komodo dragons with my bare fucking fists! And teeth, a little…”
[Pause]
“Hey, One-Eye bit me first. Fucker.”
[...]
[His voice softens]
“Hey, hey...We’re gonna be OK, Baby, don’t you worry. This ain’t my first ship-crashing scenario. How’s the ankle…?”
[...]
[He sighs]
“...First vacation together as a couple and the ship sinks… My fuckin’ luck… Just wanted to take my sweetheart somewhere nice and BOOM! Fuckin’ Komodo Island. Komodo my fuckin’ ass.”
[...]
“...Hey. You wanna hear the greatest love story never told?”
[...Pause?]
[He chuckles, still hefting you with ease]
“Well, it begins with a man named Lucien Greywater and a little bellhop at a hotel. A mobster staying at a nice hotel when someone ran in to try and gun him down and this little sassy minx named Milly charged the guy with a suitcase! Knocks him clean out!”
[Pause!]
[He laughs, maneuvering through the brush]
“I know! And then Miss Milly turns back to look at Mr. Greywater, who is in absolute awe, by the way, and says, ‘Dang Mister, don’t you know how to protect yourself? You outta get you a bodyguard’.”
[Pause????]
“What did he say? Well, as Dad liked to recount it, he put on his most devastating romantic smolder and said, ‘Yeah? You’re hired’.”
[Pause!]
“Oho, I don’t think Ma was expecting him to be that confident either, especially not after that display. But… for all of his faults, Pops always knew what he wanted, and that feisty little bellhop had just stolen his heart, right in front of him!”
[Pause <3]
“Heh… Yeah. Dad wasn’t always warm… He didn’t always have a kind word… but I knew he loved Mom, and Mom loved me, so… I think that’s enough, you know?”
[...]
[SFX: Him continuing to jog]
“It’s been a while since I been out here but I think I have a spot for just such a disaster as this.”
[Pause???]
[Donnie laughs]
“Baby, I’m psychic, remember? I have a lot of shelters, bug-out plans, weapons, and various other means to keep my business from crashing pretty much worldwide, and, yeah, crashing on Komodo Island was one of those. Didn’t expect I’d be piggybacking my partner during, hehe. Ah! There we go. See that little cabin there?”
[Pause]
“Eyup, all ours, and Komodo free… Well, it better be. I don’t mind putting more lizards in the ground but I also don’t wanna get yelled at if the fuckers are endangered or something.”
[Pause…]
[SFX: A lock being fiddled with and a door swinging open]
[He manages to get the cabin open and carry you in, setting you down on an immaculate couch]
“There we go… You sit right here for a sec, Baby, OK? I’m gonna wrap your ankle.”
[Pause]
[SFX: Cloth ripping]
[To your shock, he rips his expensive jacket for strips of cloth and wraps your ankle]
[Pause!]
“Huh? What about my jacket?”
[Pause!!]
“Pfft, yeah, it’s expensive. Who cares? If it was sentimental, I wouldn’t wear it, and I can always just toss on a damned muscle shirt or somethin’. Your ankle’s hurt… and Donnie wants to take care of his Baby, alright?”
[...]
“Heh… God, I love that smile. Sit still, OK?”
[Pause]
[SFX: Extended cloth shuffling/ripping mixed in with some Donnie grumbles/swears]
“There we go… Phew, honestly? Being shirtless is a lot nicer in this heat, sheesh.”
[...]
“...Someone’s ogling me.”
[Pause…]
“Hey, you’re allowed to! C’mon… How come you won’t look at me for more than a second or two?”
[...]
[He sits next to you, listening while you explain]
[Long Pause]
“...Partners in the past were richer than you and treated you like property, so you’re leery about not being able to take care of yourself…”
[...]
[He nods, more to himself than anything or one else]
“...Anyone I’d know?”
[...]
“You want ‘em dead?”
[Pause!]
[He huffs but nods again]
“...I get it. I have a lot of power and a lot of money and I’m a scary guy. I’d be fuckin’ scared to trust me, too…”
[...]
[He tenses as you rest your head on his shoulder but immediately eases]
“Oh? Resting your head on my shoulder, huh?”
[...Pause]
“Heh… Yeah, I don’t doubt you don’t know a lot of people that’d fight a dinosaur for you… but I would. I know most of those assholes would have left you there to be food, but when Donovan Greywater says he loves someone more than his own life, he means it.”
[...Pause <3]
[He giggles a little with that raw chaos energy]
“Ooh, you never noticed how buff I was? Oh no, not my Babydoll flirting with me while we’re both delirious off of adrenaline.”
[You share a little kiss, at ease]
[<3]
“Hmhm, mwah. I do love kisses from you… But, ah, before we start acting like randy idiots, let me go ahead and put in a request for emergency rescue. I saw a bunch of people swimming for another part of the island, but I doubt everyone made it off the ship…”
[...]
[He stands with a sigh, running his hands through his hair]
“...I’ll make you a strong drink while I’m a it. Gotta take care of my Baby, eh?”
[Pause <3]
“I’d love a back rub when I get back, Sweetness. You hear any hissing or lizard sass, you know what to do.”
[Pause?]
[He tosses his head back and laughs]
“Godamn right! Aim for the throats and insult their ancestors!”
[With that, he heads off into what you presume is the kitchen. It’s not exactly how you saw your first vacation with your new boyfriend going but… fuck it, right? He beat up dinosaurs for you and he’s hot]
[To be continued?]
Note: The Only Thing Komodo Fear is Donnie.
2023.05.31 17:29 ChaotiCait Who to call re assholes on mopeds doing wheelies on the Greenway?
I was riding my bike home from work last night around 7:30 pm on the Hudson River Greenway, when two guys on gas-powered mopeds sped by me around Christopher street, and then proceeded to do wheelies while speeding down the fairly crowded Greenway. (I later saw these same two guys doing donuts in the pedestrian area near the intrepid). People riding mopeds on the Greenway always piss me off, but this was next level endangerment. Is this a situation where it would be appropriate to call 911? Today I also found a number for “Parks Enforcement Patrol”—would that be more appropriate? Has anyone ever had “success” in reporting dangerous behavior like this, whether that be feeling like you found the right avenue to report it, or (unlikely) actually seen something done about it?
(Also, just needed to vent about how fucking insane this bullshit was).
submitted by ChaotiCait to NYCbike [link] [comments]
(Also, just needed to vent about how fucking insane this bullshit was).
2023.05.31 17:29 Vegetable_Solid_6823 Me 23M and my girlfriend 19F are having troubles in relationship, my life is now in ruins
Hello everyone, sorry for my bad English. Now I’m in difficult times in my life when I don’t know what to do. Here is my story me 23M and my girlfriend Jane 19F having a 2 years relationship. We meet back to school 4 years ago and we were good friends since. 2 years ago I invited her for a date and things come out in good way. First year of relationship was very great we never had any serious problem. First problem came when my brother Chris found himself a girlfriend Amanda, later I found out Jane had conflict with Amanda’s brother. Jane hated my brothers girlfriend Amanda because she can’t greets to her (to me same) and atc. but what can I do if Amanda is stupid? I said it to my brother Chris to talk to Amanda but it didn’t help. Then Jane said that Amanda is using my brother, yes I talked to my brother about that but he have to find it out. Then came the second problem, Jane (it was not her fault) had problem with her sister Lisa. Who was the main problem of everything? Her mother Melisa said me and Jane because I’m using her (I don’t know how), her mother also declared Jane is ruining her life (with no reason, everytime before she said that, she will not go to her promotion, also she will move somewhere else from house and divorce because everyone is destroying her-and it was just one dumb problem). Then I had birthday and also was invated my brothers girlfriend Amanda and from that reason Jane didn’t wanted to came to my birthday and then it is also my fault because Jane don’t want to see Amanda. Then at november 2022 my father said bad things to her 2 times, I discused it with my father do never say something like that to her. I talked about that also with Jane. Jane was to our house 3 times and troubles didn’t came back with my father. At new year also problem came, Jane got into conflict with her mother with some little thing also about her sister Lisa, who was again the bad one? Jane (who didn’t do anything wrong) and me (who wasnt been there) so again bad thing were said by her mother that I’m just using and destroying Jane. But question is how? 1,5 year went by and we didn’t had normal conflict between me and Jane, I was messeging with her everyday, every free time I had I was with her, we went out I paid, when she was ill I cared and was with her, when she get into conflict with her mother and cried I wiped away her tears, I never cheated or talked to other girls. So how the thing come out? Her mother messeged me to come help with Jane because she is crying hard, I just wondered me, The bad one? Who is “destroying” her. I love Jane more that anything I came that night but it hurt a lot. In january Jane starter to blame me because I planned that we could build house near my parents because we didn’t have to buy space, in summer she agreed now it was problem, I said okay we can think about something different so we can be both happy, it was also problem that I wanted after school work in our family shop and she wanted to move somewhere else from here, she said why I don’t want any other option, I said okay we can discuss out something. In end of February her mother get also in conflict now with her husband (because he drunk with his friend), she felt at night with car. I thought if her mother hates me some much maybe if I help her and she will hopefully change, so I went with Jane to find her and we found her, she was greatful. I thought now thing will get right. I started to help Jane’s sister with things in school so she will also stop to hate me without reason. One day I was driving with Jane’s mother and she asked me why Jane don’t want to go to my home. I said because Jane hates my brothers gf Amanda and my father, only my mother not. One week later after this conversation Jane started to act strange. I found out Jane is writing with other male friends. To one of them she wrote how much I’m destroying her and that my family hate her because she said true about my brothers girlfriend Amanda (she didn’t said anything), I found this out when I was with Jane, it destroyed me I couldn’t say anything to her. Only thing was in my head, why me? When I’m giving her everything. Then about one week later Jane get into conflict with her mother, because her mother claimed my mother is talking shits about her family. And how? because her mother’s friend is not talking that much to Jane’s mother and for sure my mother said something bad about Jane’s family. But no evidence, no examples what my mother said just claims. Jane’s mother started care about Jane (before everything was Jane’s fault in her life, she hated Jane so much) and started to talk shit about how bad my mother is and how much my family want to destroy Jane’s family. I didn’t knew anything at that time about that. In April I had difficult times I had lot of at university. I wrote with Jane everyday, sometimes I was with her, yes I was not so happy like before because I was extremely exhausted and tired from university. Then from that Jane got angry and said that I’m scum I don’t talk to her that much and because of my family and I didn’t trust her because first time I said I don’t believe my mother could say anything bad about her family because she always loved Jane. Jane said my mother is just acting fake and she likes Amanda. Jane said she need time I gave her I also was at her graduation and she invited me out, we also went out, messaged daily. One week ago Jane started me for no reason ignore. Next day I wrote her if she want to go out she said we will discuss, at first day nothing and next day also I wrote if she don’t want just say and don’t ignore me. Then she wrote that I blame her for everything and she is not ignoring me but thinking about that. I wrote 2 days thinking it is not real just write simple yes or no. She wrote yes she will ignore me. And here I am. I’m destroyed mentally, I don’t know what to do I would like just to die. I wrote to her I didn’t blame her for anything all I wanted is just to be with her. I love her so much I also had everything planned to move where Jane will be next year. What to do please help I gave her everything what I could, why they all hate me so much?
submitted by Vegetable_Solid_6823 to relationshipproblems [link] [comments]
2023.05.31 17:29 ThrowRA5462 My (32M) girlfriend (36F) lied about her past to me. How do we move forward? Should we, even?
We have been dating for 5 months now. She has/had a friend of 3 years whom she claimed was her best friend. They went on a trip out of the country together. They used to hang out a lot and she would confide in him emotionally/vice versa.
I have had a bad feeling about this guy from day one. That there was way more than just a platonic friendship between them like she claimed. We even had arguments about this as I told her I'm not comfortable with her continuing to talk to him. She said that she was being very cold with him and scaling back the friendship out of respect for me, but had no problem telling me how controlling and insecure I was acting.
Well, few nights ago, she drops the bomb on me. She tells me that this guy was her FWB. She told me that they had sex over 40 times since she has met him. She was sobbing in tears telling me that she was so afraid of losing me if she told me, which is why she lied to me. She said that the guilt of lying to me has been tearing her apart inside.
After she told me about it, I made it clear to her that there needs to be hardcore boundaries now if trust is ever to be rebuilt. I told her to cut him out of her life completely, remove him on all social media, and never speak to him again. She fully agreed. I told her that if there are any other past "friends" who she had a sexual history with, she needs to tell me now. She admitted there was one other guy who she hooked up with that she exchanges memes with every now and then. She informed me that she will also remove him from her life.
I am so torn and beyond hurt. This is a woman who made it very clear to me how much she hates lying and liars. I am now speculating whether or not there is more I don't know and how faithful she is. She swears up and down, through tears and genuine heartfelt apologies, that this is the only lie and she has never cheated on a person in her entire life. She is begging me to forgive her and not leave her.
She also lied about how she met him. She said "Through mutual friends" and the answer was very vague and suspect. Turns out, she met the guy on Tinder. Shocker.
She also said that she believes this guy caught feelings for her after their trip out of the country (a month before we met) and that she was scaling back the friendship even before me anyway because she did not reciprocate the feeling. Yet she continued texting him while we were together in the early stage of our relationship and even hung out twice (once for a drink, once for a hike). She claims nothing happened on those two events.
I told her I need time and space to think about this. I made it clear to her that the trust is broken and I don't know if it can be re-established.
What do I do here? Have I been too hard on her? Is this an honest mistake out of fear of judgment/losing someone? The fact that she came clean with me about it, I do feel that that is a respectable thing. It's not like she ever HAD to tell me about it.
I love her, she has a ton of positive qualities. She is madly in love with me. The chemistry and sparks are there and have never faded, but my view of her has changed and I am now wary of her. I forgave a few lies in my previous marriage and ended up being cheated on in the end. I don't know if this untrusting feeling will ever fade, and the revealed promiscuity of her past has shattered my image of her.
She was someone who told me that sex shouldn't be had with "just anyone" and needs a romantic connection to feel good. Now I find out she was having sex with a guy regularly who she never had romantic feelings for.
In my own defense, I made it very clear to her: The problem is not that she had a FWB in the past. Had this been revealed to me in the beginning it wouldn't have been a problem. The issue here is that I was lied to for nearly half a year, and we had multiple nights ruined over arguments relating to this guy because my gut was screaming at me that something didn't add up.
TL;DR: Girlfriend and I have been dating 5 months. Was nervous about a particular guy friend from the beginning. Was told I was being insecure and controlling by voicing my discomfort about him due to gut instincts. She admitted to me that he was a FWB for the last 3 years. Said she lied because she was afraid of me judging her and dumping her. Apologized profusely and told me it is the only lie she has told me, begging me not to leave. Said she has never been unfaithful once in her life and doesn't cheat. Don't know how to move forward or rebuild trust.
Thanks for any advice you all can offer.
submitted by ThrowRA5462 to relationships [link] [comments]
I have had a bad feeling about this guy from day one. That there was way more than just a platonic friendship between them like she claimed. We even had arguments about this as I told her I'm not comfortable with her continuing to talk to him. She said that she was being very cold with him and scaling back the friendship out of respect for me, but had no problem telling me how controlling and insecure I was acting.
Well, few nights ago, she drops the bomb on me. She tells me that this guy was her FWB. She told me that they had sex over 40 times since she has met him. She was sobbing in tears telling me that she was so afraid of losing me if she told me, which is why she lied to me. She said that the guilt of lying to me has been tearing her apart inside.
After she told me about it, I made it clear to her that there needs to be hardcore boundaries now if trust is ever to be rebuilt. I told her to cut him out of her life completely, remove him on all social media, and never speak to him again. She fully agreed. I told her that if there are any other past "friends" who she had a sexual history with, she needs to tell me now. She admitted there was one other guy who she hooked up with that she exchanges memes with every now and then. She informed me that she will also remove him from her life.
I am so torn and beyond hurt. This is a woman who made it very clear to me how much she hates lying and liars. I am now speculating whether or not there is more I don't know and how faithful she is. She swears up and down, through tears and genuine heartfelt apologies, that this is the only lie and she has never cheated on a person in her entire life. She is begging me to forgive her and not leave her.
She also lied about how she met him. She said "Through mutual friends" and the answer was very vague and suspect. Turns out, she met the guy on Tinder. Shocker.
She also said that she believes this guy caught feelings for her after their trip out of the country (a month before we met) and that she was scaling back the friendship even before me anyway because she did not reciprocate the feeling. Yet she continued texting him while we were together in the early stage of our relationship and even hung out twice (once for a drink, once for a hike). She claims nothing happened on those two events.
I told her I need time and space to think about this. I made it clear to her that the trust is broken and I don't know if it can be re-established.
What do I do here? Have I been too hard on her? Is this an honest mistake out of fear of judgment/losing someone? The fact that she came clean with me about it, I do feel that that is a respectable thing. It's not like she ever HAD to tell me about it.
I love her, she has a ton of positive qualities. She is madly in love with me. The chemistry and sparks are there and have never faded, but my view of her has changed and I am now wary of her. I forgave a few lies in my previous marriage and ended up being cheated on in the end. I don't know if this untrusting feeling will ever fade, and the revealed promiscuity of her past has shattered my image of her.
She was someone who told me that sex shouldn't be had with "just anyone" and needs a romantic connection to feel good. Now I find out she was having sex with a guy regularly who she never had romantic feelings for.
In my own defense, I made it very clear to her: The problem is not that she had a FWB in the past. Had this been revealed to me in the beginning it wouldn't have been a problem. The issue here is that I was lied to for nearly half a year, and we had multiple nights ruined over arguments relating to this guy because my gut was screaming at me that something didn't add up.
TL;DR: Girlfriend and I have been dating 5 months. Was nervous about a particular guy friend from the beginning. Was told I was being insecure and controlling by voicing my discomfort about him due to gut instincts. She admitted to me that he was a FWB for the last 3 years. Said she lied because she was afraid of me judging her and dumping her. Apologized profusely and told me it is the only lie she has told me, begging me not to leave. Said she has never been unfaithful once in her life and doesn't cheat. Don't know how to move forward or rebuild trust.
Thanks for any advice you all can offer.
2023.05.31 17:28 advfox6 Social media is making me develop negative feelings about my art
I went back to sharing art online two months ago after a long break, and on my platform of choice (DeviantART), my account remained stagnant throughout that time of frequent posting. I would usually get hundreds of views on my art, so apparently they were attention-grabbing enough for them to warrant being clicked on, but the amount of favorites I got would usually range from 0~5 (if I was lucky) for anything that wasn't fanart.
Because I haven't been seeing any growth, and consistently seeing poor like/view ratios, it's been making me feel like others don't really like the art I have to share, or that there is just something very very wrong with my art even though I don't feel like there is -- overall it's been discouraging for me as an artist, coupled with the fact that I haven't had any friends who have told me they like my art in the last several years.
I like my own art and I create what I want to create. But I seek some sort of validation for my art (just like nearly every other artist, even if they won't admit it), else I would feel no desire to share it on social media platforms (but I try to not to have a 'like-chasing' mentality). I can look at my art and see that it is not perfect (usually after taking my eyes off it for a few days), and that there is always room for improvement -- whether that be with my fundamentals or my art style -- but I honestly cannot look at my art and view it as "Everyone would think this is hideous." despite the flaws they have.
I am aware that 'anime' is a highly saturated art genre and that it can be hard to break into it.
Examples of my art (digitally colored traditional drawings)
I often lose motivation to practice or do studies because I constantly have thoughts of "Why should I bother if others don't like my art anyway, no matter how much I improve?" I still enjoy the process of creating art and the fulfillment I get from it, but unfortunately the lack of any external validation in the long-term has taken its toll on my drive to create. I don't have any friends or family who I can turn to for art support atm, so I rely on myself and the internet; it's difficult to keep myself motivated.
submitted by advfox6 to ArtistLounge [link] [comments]
Because I haven't been seeing any growth, and consistently seeing poor like/view ratios, it's been making me feel like others don't really like the art I have to share, or that there is just something very very wrong with my art even though I don't feel like there is -- overall it's been discouraging for me as an artist, coupled with the fact that I haven't had any friends who have told me they like my art in the last several years.
I like my own art and I create what I want to create. But I seek some sort of validation for my art (just like nearly every other artist, even if they won't admit it), else I would feel no desire to share it on social media platforms (but I try to not to have a 'like-chasing' mentality). I can look at my art and see that it is not perfect (usually after taking my eyes off it for a few days), and that there is always room for improvement -- whether that be with my fundamentals or my art style -- but I honestly cannot look at my art and view it as "Everyone would think this is hideous." despite the flaws they have.
I am aware that 'anime' is a highly saturated art genre and that it can be hard to break into it.
Examples of my art (digitally colored traditional drawings)
I often lose motivation to practice or do studies because I constantly have thoughts of "Why should I bother if others don't like my art anyway, no matter how much I improve?" I still enjoy the process of creating art and the fulfillment I get from it, but unfortunately the lack of any external validation in the long-term has taken its toll on my drive to create. I don't have any friends or family who I can turn to for art support atm, so I rely on myself and the internet; it's difficult to keep myself motivated.
2023.05.31 17:28 ThrowRACandidate7938 My (33M) girlfriend (31F) is part of a culty self-help group
My girlfriend and I have been dating over 10 months now. We met each other through mutual friends and randomly one night she messaged me on social media and asked if I wanted to hangout, and we just kind of hit it off from there. We've been having a really great time and we're very in love.
There is only one problem. When we first started being exclusive, about 3 months or so into the relationship, she kept telling me that something she wants for herself in a relationship, with her partner, is for them to complete the Landmark forum. I had no idea what this was at the time, and I just kind of shrugged. She described it as a self-help course. And I said "sure I'd consider it", because why not? How can self-help be a bad thing?
As time went on I got to meet a lot of her friends, which are people she has met through Landmark. I specifically remember how odd these people were. Many of them were humorless and used weird jargon they picked up from the course, and they could not stop talking about how amazing the experience was. It made me feel kind of uncomfortable.
She kept hinting over the next few months about how Landmark can do this and that for me, and I'm just a super-skeptical person by nature and just replied "mmhmm". She tells me "I guess it's okay if you don't do it but I'm putting our kids through it". Didn't think much of that comment because we're no where near having kids, and I'm okay with her telling them about it as long as they're over 18. They can make their own decisions at that age.
Fast forward to this weekend. She brings it up again, how Landmark can fix my "problems" (I don't have any). At this point I had done a deep dive on the organization on Google and I really did not like what I read...at all. From my research, it appears they use psychological manipulation tactics to make people think they've had a "breakthrough", and convince you to sell the program to all your friends and family. It seems like con-artistry to me...and she and her family have been raised into it since she was a child.
I confronted her about how I don't want to be a part of it and it's not for me. I'm an introvert and have no desire to air out my very personal problems to a room of 150-200 people. That's an incredibly uncomfortable situation for me.
After I tell her this, it triggers her. She starts crying, saying she can't be with someone who doesn't go through this course. She wants to set up her family for "success" and claims we can't have a deeper relationship without me having this experience. She wants to put her children in this program as young as 8 years old (WTF). It's insane because our relationship has literally been great these past 10 months without any of this stuff. It's like Mr. Hyde finally reared his ugly head after all this time.
I am a moron and couldn't handle the idea of breaking up with her and I caved. I told her I would try the course but I can't promise I won't think it's manipulative bullshit, and I will tell her if I think it is. My girlfriend is broke with no money, and she believes in this so much that she was willing to put down $800 on her credit card just for me to go through this course.
By nature I am very resistant to any kind of group-think or indoctrination so I'm really not too worried about that...but now I can't help but feel I've made a huge mistake. I've never seen this side of her and it scared me.
I'm not sure what to do because I want this relationship to work but I'm very worried if I can't save her from making terrible financial decisions because of this culty-subculture. Do I need to break up with her, or is there anything I can do to salvage this?
submitted by ThrowRACandidate7938 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
There is only one problem. When we first started being exclusive, about 3 months or so into the relationship, she kept telling me that something she wants for herself in a relationship, with her partner, is for them to complete the Landmark forum. I had no idea what this was at the time, and I just kind of shrugged. She described it as a self-help course. And I said "sure I'd consider it", because why not? How can self-help be a bad thing?
As time went on I got to meet a lot of her friends, which are people she has met through Landmark. I specifically remember how odd these people were. Many of them were humorless and used weird jargon they picked up from the course, and they could not stop talking about how amazing the experience was. It made me feel kind of uncomfortable.
She kept hinting over the next few months about how Landmark can do this and that for me, and I'm just a super-skeptical person by nature and just replied "mmhmm". She tells me "I guess it's okay if you don't do it but I'm putting our kids through it". Didn't think much of that comment because we're no where near having kids, and I'm okay with her telling them about it as long as they're over 18. They can make their own decisions at that age.
Fast forward to this weekend. She brings it up again, how Landmark can fix my "problems" (I don't have any). At this point I had done a deep dive on the organization on Google and I really did not like what I read...at all. From my research, it appears they use psychological manipulation tactics to make people think they've had a "breakthrough", and convince you to sell the program to all your friends and family. It seems like con-artistry to me...and she and her family have been raised into it since she was a child.
I confronted her about how I don't want to be a part of it and it's not for me. I'm an introvert and have no desire to air out my very personal problems to a room of 150-200 people. That's an incredibly uncomfortable situation for me.
After I tell her this, it triggers her. She starts crying, saying she can't be with someone who doesn't go through this course. She wants to set up her family for "success" and claims we can't have a deeper relationship without me having this experience. She wants to put her children in this program as young as 8 years old (WTF). It's insane because our relationship has literally been great these past 10 months without any of this stuff. It's like Mr. Hyde finally reared his ugly head after all this time.
I am a moron and couldn't handle the idea of breaking up with her and I caved. I told her I would try the course but I can't promise I won't think it's manipulative bullshit, and I will tell her if I think it is. My girlfriend is broke with no money, and she believes in this so much that she was willing to put down $800 on her credit card just for me to go through this course.
By nature I am very resistant to any kind of group-think or indoctrination so I'm really not too worried about that...but now I can't help but feel I've made a huge mistake. I've never seen this side of her and it scared me.
I'm not sure what to do because I want this relationship to work but I'm very worried if I can't save her from making terrible financial decisions because of this culty-subculture. Do I need to break up with her, or is there anything I can do to salvage this?
2023.05.31 17:27 VodkaBat What do you do when you are in overload and almost at meltdown point?
I’ve had a really frustrating day involving sensory overload from noisy workmen next door, a long and stressful work meeting and having people repeat the same things over and over to me as if I’m stupid. I’m currently sat at my desk (wfh) with noise cancelling headphones blasting Green Day at ear splitting volume (this is helping somewhat) and nearly breaking a fidget toy in one hand. What I’d really like to do right now is get under the desk with my headphones on and a blanket right over me but I need to adult and I’m struggling.
submitted by VodkaBat to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]