Food stamp office anniston al

Hey Reddit, I lost my green card not too long ago when I took a vacation outside of the country and managed to come back to the states with a travel document.
I am scheduled for an oath taking soon, but I don't have my green card and never ordered one again. The officer who interviewed me knows this and didn't tell me if I should order one before my ceremony or not.
Are they not going to let me in since I don't have my green card? I have a picture of it. Plus my passport that had a stamp for the temporary document to get here.
Thank you.

I have a friend that has been working for them for years. Honestly I didn’t know exactly what she was working for because I never understood her job for a long time.
It started off with her first making a big move to another city to work for them, but she lived with all her coworkers and the manager. Wtf? And then when people would quit they would have trouble paying rent. Also just from hearing conversations from them living together like if someone complained about work or was venting about a coworker etc. it was shut down because they didn’t want negativity, need to always be positive. Seemed like straight brainwashing.
Then she tells me all the time how they go on these business trips to different cities to try out different markets. I’m like that’s cool she gets to travel but then she told me they pay out of pocket themselves for all their gas, hotels, and other traveling expenses. Like what? Even when I worked for fast food companies when I traveled for them I got paid mileage. That’s not cheap. So over time she has been working her way up in management and always talks about how she has to build a team, and the goal of the team is to build them up and then they create their own teams. So they’re always hiring, and hiring anybody too. I’m sketch of any job that just hires anybody they can. Sounds like a pyramid scheme.
Now she’s at the point where she’s made it to made to management. She moved to another new city and always talks about how she loves running her own business. But from what I’m seeing I feel like she’s not making much money. Maybe more than before she was in management but not enough for the amount of work she has to do. Even when she’s outside of work she’s always having to call people to do interviews, have meetings etc she’s always working. And she can’t keep a team because they’re making bullshit pay! Like damn near everyone of them would talk about how they’re about to be evicted, can’t afford to pay any of their bills. At one point on the girls was living in the office because she had no where else to go. Which the office is another thing because it looks a mess. Just vacant rooms with a whiteboard, table and a few chairs, looks super sketch.
I know she’s working for Devilcorp and I really just don’t know how to get her out of it. She broke down to me the other day about how her whole team just quit on her and she’s stressed. So I’m like well I feel like you can take the skills you have and apply them somewhere else and maybe make more money and be less stressed. She then went on this rant like no I have my own business now and I could never go back to working for someone else, I’m my own boss etc. I feel like she’s repeating bullshit they taught her to keep her brainwashed. I didn’t really know what to say because she seemed offended and again I 100% don’t know their pay structure I just see the struggles
Can you guys explain how you got out yourself or how you’ve gotten your loved ones out? I don’t know how to have this conversation with her. Also another one of our friends completely agrees on trying to get her out but doesn’t know how to tell her maybe we could both talk to her at the same time

I got approved for snap sometime in May and I noticed I have another phone interview in about 5 months. I was wondering what I should expect on the 2nd interview? Do I have to resubmit all my verification or do they simply call and ask if anything is changed? I’m worried I’m going to loose my food stamps because during my first interview she had asked me about my income and bills. I work about 20 hours a week at my job which puts me about $150 dollars short on my monthly bills and she questioned me how I’m getting those bills paid and I told her that usually my dad will let me borrow money from him when I’m short. I told her I could request 30 hours at my job and she asked me to get it in writing and I got my supervisor to agree but he noted that “based on business needs we can accommodate 30 hours a week” which I work retail and depending on if our truck gets cancelled or anything I could be sent home early and corporate could cut hours depending on sales. Plus, now it’s summer time and I have no child care so I haven’t been meeting that 30 hour a week. I’m worried with my 2nd interview she will pull up my average hours at my job and question why I haven’t been working those 30 hours. How likely am I to lose my food stamps? I’m just at a loss because I don’t have childcare. I’m separated with my husband whom lives outside of my home and he is unreliable. I live in Tennessee.

https://preview.redd.it/v0ynlftfah4b1.png?width=1700&format=png&auto=webp&s=9a135e49a6f4dbf101bc66ac921d82b2f1c5403c
https://preview.redd.it/28vjw37gah4b1.png?width=1700&format=png&auto=webp&s=cc87af4778d1f7cab8bcdaafd8ddbf28144e0ee5

My OC
Here's the combined recipe for Takito Dolma:
Ingredients: - 12 grape leaves - 1 cup rice - 1/2 cup ground beef or lamb - 1/2 cup finely chopped onions - 2 cloves garlic, minced - 2 tablespoons olive oil - 1 tablespoon tomato paste - 1 tablespoon lemon juice - 1 teaspoon ground cumin - 1 teaspoon ground coriander - 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon - Salt and pepper to taste - 12 small corn tortillas - 1 avocado, sliced - 1/2 cup diced tomatoes - 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro - Salsa or hot sauce (optional)
Instructions:

1. Prepare the grape leaves: - Blanch the grape leaves in boiling water for 2-3 minutes to soften them. Drain and set aside.
   
2. Prepare the filling: - In a pan, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onions and garlic, and sauté until translucent. - Add the ground beef or lamb, and cook until browned. - Stir in the tomato paste, lemon juice, cumin, coriander, cinnamon, salt, and pepper. Cook for a few minutes until well combined. - Add the rice and 1 ½ cups of water. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to low. Cover and let it simmer for about 15-20 minutes until the rice is cooked and the liquid is absorbed. Remove from heat and let it cool slightly.
   
3. Assemble the Takito Dolma: - Take a grape leaf and place a spoonful of the filling in the center. - Fold the sides of the leaf over the filling, then roll it tightly like a burrito. - Repeat the process until all the filling is used.
   
4. Prepare the tacos: - Preheat a non-stick skillet or griddle over medium heat. - Warm the corn tortillas on the skillet for a few seconds on each side until pliable. - Place a dolma (rolled grape leaf) in the center of each tortilla.
   
5. Add toppings: - Place a few slices of avocado on top of the dolma. - Sprinkle some diced tomatoes and chopped cilantro over the avocado.
   
6. Fold and secure the tacos: - Fold the tortilla like a taco, securing it with a toothpick if needed.
   
7. Repeat until all the dolmas are wrapped in tortillas.
   
8. Serve: - Remove the toothpicks, if used, and arrange the Takito Dolma on a serving platter. - Garnish with additional avocado slices, diced tomatoes, and chopped cilantro. - Add salsa or hot sauce on top, if desired, for an extra kick.
   

Story: Excerpt from "Cultural Tapestry: A History of Meksika Ülkesi"
Chapter 5: Culinary Synthesis in Meksika Ülkesi (English: Land of Mexico)
In the early 16th century, a remarkable chapter in the history of Meksika Ülkesi unfolded, shaped by the convergence of Ottoman, Andalusian, Iraqi, and New World cultures. The Ottoman Empire's conquest of Iraq and Al-Andalus spurred a wave of migration, bringing forth a community of Ottoman-Andalusian-Iraqi settlers to the newly colonized lands of the New World.
These intrepid settlers, bearing their ancestral culinary traditions, embarked on a journey that would forever alter the gastronomic landscape of the region. Fusing the flavors of their homelands with the abundance of the New World, they set out to create a culinary synthesis that would captivate the taste buds of generations to come.
The settlers, deeply inspired by the vibrant street food culture of the New World, particularly the popularity of taquitos, sought to harmonize the techniques of their traditional dish, dolma, with the beloved format of the Takito. The result was a culinary masterpiece: the Takito Dolma.
The Takito Dolma represented the ingenious fusion of cultures and flavors. Drawing upon the techniques of dolma, where grape leaves were traditionally used as wrappers for a flavorful filling, the settlers adapted the concept to embrace the local ingredients available in the New World. The tender grape leaves were now paired with aromatic rice, spiced ground meat, and a blend of New World seasonings, creating a tantalizing symphony of flavors.
As the Ottoman-Andalusian-Iraqi settlers established themselves in the New World, their community flourished and melded with the indigenous peoples and other settlers. This cultural intermingling gave rise to Meksika Ülkesi, a vibrant society that reflected the harmonious coexistence of diverse influences.
Meksika Ülkesi became a melting pot of traditions, with Ottoman architectural aesthetics blending with New World elements, and the mosques of Al-Andalus finding new life in this exotic land. The markets of Meksika Ülkesi bustled with activity, where fragrant spices, fresh produce, and the sizzle of grills intertwined to create a sensory feast.
The Takito Dolma emerged as a beloved culinary symbol of Meksika Ülkesi, representing the shared heritage and innovative spirit of the Ottoman-Andalusian-Iraqi settlers and their descendants. Passed down through generations, the dish became a staple in Meksikalı households, restaurants, and street food stalls, cherished for its rich flavors and cultural significance.
Today, as one savors the exquisite blend of tender grape leaves, fragrant rice, and flavorful spiced meat in a Takito Dolma, it serves as a delicious reminder of Meksika Ülkesi's unique history, and a story forever leaving their mark on the vibrant tapestry of Meksika Ülkesi cuisine.

My parents have a 15 (soon to be 16) springer spaniel. This dog is their baby. The dog has a difficult time getting up. Falls frequently. Cannot get up or down the stairs without being carried. Pants continously esp at night. Shifts frequently. She does enjoy food brought to her but cannot go and stand at her bowl for water or drinks so they bring them to her. She cant even squat to poop, it just comes out. They made an appointment at a vet office that they have been going to for 45 years to have her euthanized. They were taken to a room for such. The vet came in and listened to her heart asked my parents some questions and told them they couldnt have the euthenasia because their wasnt a reason for it. Im floored. She was with the dog for all of 10 min. She said said that the dog was just in pain and that she needed some sedatives and aspirin. I saw their dog a month ago and i told them to put her down then but they refused because they love her so much. Now they are ready and they refused?! I was told it was the vets decision not my parents when i called to complain. I understand if you wish not to take a life but they should of been told that when they made the appointment. My dad was in tears. Is this normal?!

We have been together for over two years and I stayed with him and his family for some time before getting my own place. There we shared a room and he did not make much space for my space, even though he said he would.
He expected at least $400 a month and has to take me to and from work. Now I have my own place and offered him my office since he doesn’t really get time for himself to focus with his family (he is driving hours a day to give them rides to and from places).
He would also be sleeping in the living room since he snores and he often likes to work in bed. He has just as much space and storage as at his family’s place. He will be between here and there.
He will help with rent, but offered to pay $400 since he pays $800 there. Then the other half would go there. I want to help him out, but also don’t know if this is fair. I am buying all of the groceries and have a feeling I’ll be doing the cleaning and cooking. His mom covers all of that at his house. He will be here more than half of the week while he weans away from his family. And yes he has lived on his own.
I did offer and I am grateful for all of the times he has covered me for food and stuff (we don’t go on dates). But for some reason this doesn’t feel fair to me.
I pay $1,600 and get $200 in benefits for food a month. He said he could cover utilities, but I’m not sure if he meant in addition to the $400. I’ve asked for his help with little things around the house and it feels like nagging because it’s repetitive. He already lost my spare key and I have to constantly remind him to look for it. I’m already regretting my decision. He rolls his eyes when I ask him to take shoes off.
I know I sound harsh. But he also makes way more than me. He does cover other things.
What would be fair in rent?
TLDR: let bf move in part time

Hello!
I’m a 23 year old female Economic Diplomacy student from Slovakia and I was offered an intership in Tirana for one month. There are a few questions that I’m trying to find the right answers for and I’d be really happy if you could help me: 1. What is the average cost of living in Tirana for one month? (Food, public transport, accomodation etc.) 2. I was trying to find some dormitories in the city since I’d also like to get in touch with other students. I’ ve found this one and it should be 250€ per month. Is it a good price? https://fole.com.al/dhoma-teke1-person/ 3. Are there some other dormitories you could reccomend? 4. Is it generally safe for me to spend time alone there? 5. Is there anything else I should be aware of and consider? Thanks in advance for the answers

an anciently old man suddenly approaches a player on a dark street, hands them a heavy leather bound book, with an iron lock saying; "tell them I am sorry" and promptly collapses dead.
while boating a sudden storm washes you ashore a small island with an old house, the only house, on the summit of a hill.
While attending a dinner party a bright flash of light and thunderous boom shakes the house, momentarily unconscious you and the rest of the guests awaken with no recollection of who you are.
Your Neighbor has not been seen for weeks. Your Neighbor's young son tells you his father has locked himself in the attic not asking for food or water, but moves about, the house is verry cold within.
A Player is a Prohibition Officer on a raid. After a fierce gun fight the remaining mobster puts the revolver to his temple laughs and pulls the trigger, In many oak barrels with a strange symbol burned upon them is an odd, foul smelling, viscous black fluid.
A Scientist coworker at your research lab had been studying the devices of Nicola Tesla when he suddenly went missing; 3 weeks later his rotting corpse knocks on your door and gibbers some sort of language then desolves into a puddle of goo

I've got email from [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]).
I picked Standard Processing and as per the process I scanned and uploaded all my supported documents online. I used FedEx and shipped my passport, checklist and USCIS Appointment Confirmation with stamp to the VFS in New York.
What does this email mean and why they can't find my supporting docs?
I printed all of them and shipped just now to VFS but since this is Standard Processing they most likely wont scan them for me..
Anyone here had same issue?
​

Dear
UK Visas & Immigration is in receipt of your recently submitted visa application. We note that your biometrics have been provided at a DHS Application Support Centre (ASC), however, we do not appear to have received your supporting documents to enable us to proceed with the processing of your application.
If you still wish for your application to be considered please send your documents including your passport to the scanning hub within the next 5 working days to the following address:
VFS Services USA Inc. UKVI Scanning Hub 128 East 32nd St Floor 4 New York NY 10016
If you do not wish to proceed with your visa application, please inform our office at the following email address: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) and your application will be withdrawn. If we do not hear from you within the next 5 working days your visa application will automatically be voided. lease note the above email address is for withdrawal notifications only. If you have a query regarding your application, UKVI contact details can be found at www.gov.uk/contact-ukvi-outside-uk
Kind Regards

Has anyone gotten their adit stamp through the new mail process? What was your experience like / how long did you have to wait for it to arrive?
I had a call with a Tier 2 agent 2 weeks ago, was told they would transfer the case to my local field office and they should mail me the paperwork. Their confirmation e-mail said I could call back in 15 days if I had not heard back by then but it seemed like a standardized e-mail that didn't mention the new mailing process so I'm not quite sure what to expect. For context, my international flight is in a month.

Hey everyone, So my functional doctor is out of office for 2 weeks unexpectedly right as we were meant to move forward with treatment. I don’t think she even understands that I have methane SIBO and I’m worried she’ll lead me down the wrong path (she already prescribed me 2 medications that have ingredients in them that made me sick). I’m just wondering what antimicrobials and/or antibiotics people have taken that have gotten them to a place where they have NO bloating, pain, food restrictions etc. What protocol have you taken that has actually worked and left you feeling healthy and symptom free?? I can’t afford another v*miting spell and I can’t afford to keep eating the same 4 foods and using digestive enzymes for every meal. I just can’t. I’m 22 and I feel 80 years old every day, have no social life and I feel like I’m losing my early 20s. I need some insight and to move forward and I have yet to come across a doctor who seems to know what they’re doing. What should I ask her to prescribe me? I’m looking at moving from the GAPS diet (requires me to eat fat that I just can’t digest) to the Low Fermentation diet by Dr. pimentel, but I realize that’s only symptom management. What cures methane dominant SIBO?

I’m hyperventilating crying in my car right now and I feel like this subreddit is the only place where i’ll feel understood.
I just found out that my GI can no longer order the Trio Smart Breath Test for me. I had been waiting 1.5 months for him to order it and kept calling them to confirm they were going to order it and they continuously told me yes. I had SO much hope and felt so relieved these past few weeks knowing that I was eventually going to get this test.
I got a call from my GI’s MA earlier today and she told me to come to their office tomorrow to finally sign the forms. I was so excited. But a few hours later, a front desk receptionist from their office called me and said they don’t accept “trio tests.” I’m so lost because all they have to do is fill out the form and fax it. Everything else is done by me.
I’m just so exhausted. I don’t know why I keep trying at this point. I’m trying SO hard to find a solution and it feels like the entire world is against me. It feels like no one cares. My GI doesn’t give a flying fuck, his MA hasn’t gotten back to a single one of my calls, my family doesn’t care or understand what’s happening to me. And I cannot pay for any of this out of pocket, I can barely afford food right now. I don’t understand why this is happening to me. 😭😭😭😭😭

6.5.2023 - 08:42
see if i become a police officer, they would have all this time to have gained access to a weopon and they can ruin my chances of employment or becoming an officer by controlling the narrative of crime
what would occur is or are whites or others that could possess a similar frailty of expression or leadershi[p, can constructively say that , there is a hiearchy of inferiority.
also because of this stalemate , indo's can group me in with other members of my roots however choose facouritism over darker hues , or create expresionocide. MY genes woyuld get lost in other genetic pools.

• solvent ?

the other thing is - im so focused on the mind, getting sharper this that and the other, but whats happening to my body?
i might be in a band wagon, that has already developed their body and is looking to implement ways to develope the mind. Mean while im trying to heal my body?

• back fire others can say that these are the conditions of homelessness and say or acclimate themselves to that quote on quote clout. and basically becomde parasites , or maggots to a dying cause.

so its confusing because... to be... i guess this is about genetic cohesion.
to be with an indo - i need to supply my wife with food as a obligatory contract to provide me with peace of mind?
i need to give spanish my wealth , to ensure protection or because of the causal projection of africa towards south america?
its an odd framework to operate in. How do i navigate.
it seems my existence is only a narrative for others to circumnavigate genetic barriers.
in a choice decision, i think i would be competing with blue eyes or eyes that arent brown.
really , my whole self is divided because, there are to many variations to where things are going.
factors such as

• Hair
• Skin
• Body
• MIND
• Money
• TIME & TALENTS
• FAMILY
• Beliefs.

maybe thats what it is, being fisher of men, however adversaries with not want to support so they would confuse the approach of cooperation. Possibly , anyone who is in the lgbtq community , or more less, who may want to denounce their biological functions...?
then again , i would say that my stance seems to be me in the middle of the road or the fence.
its giving others the reason to be unfaithful or indecisive.
i guess thats the other thing , is that i dont get that right or protecting myself. Martial arts is ying and yang. Its physical economics. blow for blow. At the end both sides find partisan, and sup with one another. The initial cause gets desaturatedwith time and pacificity. What happens is that you create a generation of conflicting love.
you bruise or brake a branch to later graph fruits and other limbs from this tree.
so conflict or martial arts for the rreason of armament does not rest with me.
id rathern{ eliminate a threat or have the option of or not participate all together.}
quite so the issue is im not able to see myself, be a mentor to my younger self. i WOULDNT INVEST IN SPENDING 6 - 10 YEARS STUDYING Psychology because , gossip exist. GOSSIP HAS ALLOWED OTHERS TO CIRCUMNAVIGATE AWAY FROM IGNORANT POST.
BECAUSE I GUESS THIS IS WHAT MY WHOLE LIOFE IS ABOUT. Detachment from gossip and closer to my own truths. Iwould have to sell myself or work towards poverty because im in a cycle of incompletion. Darkskins, the fathers of many hate their own kindred , because of resources.
Whites and fairskins want assimilation, for cognitive pursuits. dARKSKIN MEN would , as id assume make sure their childs hair is cut so that they cannot assimilate with indo's . They want them closer to bald because maybe they want them as buddist or bald men.
The point may not be who is farthest, and linking that to developement but whats the closest things to you, or myself.
becaudse maybe history and education were not so kind when coheding with science. Regional variants in history creating cultures and ethnicities probably exist because, disposal or thoughts and ideas conflicting. rEALLY Just an issue of space and percision.
reeally , i could or should hsve spent or invested some time into other faiths, sikhs , islam , Judaism and tourism, cHRITIANITY AND social science and economics. hOWEVER something exist that is solely dividing individuals.

• i would just say jelousy
• skin
• energy & skin
• eyesight
• mobility.

i think],8i this is why there is a divide, my mind is not situated correctly because , my roots have or are trying to dislodge parts of my body from my worth.

• they seek that i do not find a fairskin sihk woman, but rather a darkskin hindu
• they dont want me finding a european or brunette because they may say i am siding with an oppressor or that im creating a paradox and repeating history within the nativity story.
• they msy also seek that i not know a middke eastern or muslim woman likewise to the narrative of the nativity of christ, possible also creating a paradox with hidstory .

even the thought of all this, it seems like im inseminating thoughts of hate. IM FEEDING THE NARRATIVE OF BEING OUTCOMPETED , HATRED FOR MY ROOTS. BUT HATRED FOR MY ROOts is only feeding multiculturalism and their passions for one another. with technology, this is just recorded outburst , that they can build upon, with everything they hsve gathered and know.
What occurs is i feed the crops of
Interacial love because im redressing what interacial couples think they have solved through fusion. Through fusion, the product doesnt have a concern for social justice, only the pursuit of dominant ideals. Their is no concern for social justice because , their exist no measures, or definition of the middle grounds if there are such grounds, then they are defined solely by Drake. even so , the middle grounds have so many variants.

• Indians and spanish a handful of asians, and causasians are of a similar hue,, but there is no real definitive way of distinguishing from anyt of this. All seem to pick and reap from the same concept of beauty. Noticeably with hair styling as well.
• Men tend to do a high top fade , while keeping their beard around the same length. Im assuming this is a clear shot at malcolm x , or in some kind o way a run on joke , about the different hair growth speeds of vairous ethnicities. , tHAT CERTAIN MENT CAN ONLY GROW , hair types at certain speeds.
  
• not only do i think that this is couple in with geneticide, i find this to be a psycho-economic attack. tHE ECONOMY , and quite possibly the government is and are finding ways to impair developement. THEY ARE CHOOSING AGED MEN WITH EXOERIENCE , while finding ways to impede the young men and adults. the trick is that these young men like myself take up roles in education and public safety. What ensues is that this older men that want to disable, the thoughts and genes of these younger men or men of my age, they produce offspring , and invest in IVF. So what they get is and are individuals that protect their selfish interest. Because my generation of men are defenseless... they intergrate with multiculturalism and fuse.. BECAUSE IT IS EASIER TO MAKE , a biracial then it is to complete , their design. Its not sustainable. so id have to ask myself, where does all this go? might right to protect myself?
  

forced to cut my hair so i wouldnt be able to contribute to future establishments.
its not far out of the question to say that politicians have a time machine. im sure they are able to guage the future and its events..
maybe i ewas meant to be a sihk, but because my hair is cut, i cannot contribute or indentify as one. Id haver to indentify as a naturalized biological hindu.
An artist and the freckles be a constelation of bindi"s

• the other issue is that there is a social exchange. I Work in a white saturated environment, while others get to exploit my roots.
• Black women are on the wayside because they are easily exploitable.
• the cohesion is created where when in these white or caucasian environments biracial women take something, making me desire to be back around darkskins. im assuming this is in some part a similar means to how some individuals assumed membership in the lgbtq community. alongside financial obligations.

but to play abasketball, i sense is others trying to social construct their own stephen curry.
bECause id be grouped in with euopeans or caucasians and indians. Steph who wears 30 which is similar to the hindu symbol , as well as others figuring they can make a jcole from a white woman. Indians with mat with whites or europeans just so that they can claim, in the case of a biracial euopean and indain man, and than leater the creation of a jocle or a steph, indos will claim competitivw dominance over blacks. As well as all members of society , because in terms of population , they have greater numbers.
So dissecting these thoughts for what they are where am I now and where should I have been , cognizantly what value is there in being where I am at now?
But also thriving for inexistemce. See for one I cant say I'm christian or baptized because obviously if that were the situation , navigating to simple oppurtunities wouldn't be such a stand still.
I think this mindset... this mindset of comfort doesnt do anything for me. It pacified me.. and makes me a child in the eyes of others. It has no value. A canadian life with my name has no value.
The stakeholders are international workers and students
What I burrow in terms of OSAP.. is taking away from what others are putting in.

I'm 29m, 5'7, look a lot younger, in decent/average shape, overall average-sliiightly above average looks (can def be brought up if I make some changes and get some rest), very proportionate facial features. I dress really well, speak really well, and have high intelligence as well as broad knowledge. Gifted with talent equally in the sciences and humanities/arts. I'm a good friend, with lots of empathy, and a deep understanding of human psychology. I'm a summa cum laude genetic engineering/biosciences graduate, and belong to the nation's most prestigious honors society. Moreover I was admitted to and completed a separate honors college within my university.
I live with my girlfriend who is my best friend, soon to be my wife. We share 90% of interests in common, and are inseparable. By society's standards, she is considered very very attractive. She makes 70-80k and has a very easy job from home.
So, why am I bum?
I make $15 an hour for a job that provides me with 10-25 hours a week from home. Been doing that for several years. I make less than $1000 a month most months.
I own an old, beat up truck that 1) paint completely came off 2) no AC 3) beat up inside 4) no power steering 5) 1000 other issues 6) doesn't even run. Never owned another car, use girlfriend's car every day.
I have no physical tolerance. I cannot fathom working 8+ hours a day. Not only am I afraid of wasting my life away, but also, I actually do not have the physical tolerance. I work 3-4 hours a day and feel completely wasted, beat up, after staring into a bright screen. My head hurts, I get flashing in my eyes, and I feel done.
I don't know where to start. I am about to be 30 and I can no longer "start from the beginning" for the 10000th time in my life. All of my peers are balls deep into their careers and many are making 3 figures. I have so many dreams and ambitions, goals, but I can't start anything. I have confusion, anxiety, and obsessive tendencies that will not allow me to start anything...plus, chronic feelings of lethargy. The doctors don't know why, they say it's life and everyone feels that way.
I feel like a complete bum. I can't start anything. No I do not have depression, I did before. I feel like a complete loser, that eventually everything else will go downhill. For me, I see things always downgrading, instead of upgrading in life.
I look at apartments near me and think "everything is for rich people. how is any of this affordable? why aren't there low-income apartments for everyone else, but without cockroaches and drug addicts?". Meanwhile, my peers never even glanced at the apartments I live in, and live like normal people but pay more.
What's stopping me from marrying my girlfriend immediately is loss of free health insurance and food stamps. Yep, you heard that right. She has too high of an income once I marry her, I have to give everything up. What am I going to do on $1000 a month with all of my health issues and no insurance?
I also have problem after problem. My parents keep getting evicted and I need to solve their lawyer problems, I'm always accumulating their problems and anxiety, rent is always increasing, I have new medical issues popping up every other week, huge expenses out of nowhere, and just life problems one after the other. I cant focus on starting anything, something is always in the way.
I am a complete loser who could be making significant money with my ideas and brain power, but... "I can't." I have no self-esteem, and don't know how to deal with difficult people. I ask my girlfriend why she even likes me and she says "you're just cute". I feel completely emasculated.
_________________________________________
Some things that bring me down:

1. terrible self image
2. medical issues from head to toe - something is ALWAYS wrong (badly herniated spinal disc means daily chronic pain, severe heartburn, 20 years of GI issues that affect me 80% of the day, dislocated shoulder, all of my teeth have issues and cause me pain and cracking, allergies which never allow me a good sleep and puff my face up for hours and hours, legally blind, and I can name another 10 most likely).
3. the cherry on top is that I developed severe panic disorder since January with agoraphobia and to this day, am struggling to be outside. I would rather break my back another 50 times than ever go through this again - the feeling of dying a hundred times a day, every day, for months.

Two weeks ago, I spoke on the phone with Tom Ono, the manual writer for Heroes of Might and Magic III. As usual, Tom asked how things were going. I said things were good... then proceeded to whine and complain for the next five minutes (much to Tom's amusement).
When the conversation concluded, Tom said, "Don't complain too much. Some people would give their eyeteeth to be in the game industry." I responded, "Who are these people and why haven't they been beaten for their own good?"
My name is Gregory Fulton, game designer for Heroes of Might and Magic III (developed by New World Computing, published by 3DO). You may call me Greg. Like most game designers, I'm sure you'll find me a bitter and cynical man, aged beyond my years, full of sarcasm, and inexplicably drawn to the horrors of game production like a lobotomized moth to the "pretty" flame.
As I guide you through your weekly tour of my memories, I promise the recollected images will be truthful and sincere but written with a smirk and a wink.
Undoubtedly, we will interact with the following animals: artists, level builders, managers, producers, programmers, testers, and monkeys. To help ensure your safety, I request you fasten your seat belts, keep your hands to your sides at all times, and be sure to not make any quick and sudden movements. Remember... we will be passing through the game production process.

12/05/98
It's Saturday. I'm at work with three other members of the Heroes3 team. I'll be in again tomorrow.
Smells like "crunch time."
Everyone in the game industry knows the term "crunch time." Those not in the industry may ask, "What is crunch time?" Long hours: 10-18 each day. We're starting our fourth crunch month. We have at least one more after this.
Bad take-out food: Mexican and Chinese food are New World's favorites. Today we had Taco Bell and Domino's pizza as part of NWC's "work for food" program.
Social Life: To work in the game industry you must already have some form of social retardation. When crunch mode begins, you may only speak in code to coworkers. Immediate family and friends may be seen on brief occasions so they don't file a missing-persons report. I'm one of the lucky ones; I don't remember having any friends or family.
Hygiene: Haircuts and showers become optional in favor of more sleep time. For me, showers are a must, but my hair is sprouting wings and a tail. Pretty soon I'll look like the lead singer from Flock of Seagulls.
Stress: Anger and frustration are frequent companions. If bridges are burned, this is usually the time. Earlier this week morale was low. In a fit of anger concerning team interactions, I was heard shouting, "I feel like a kindergarten teacher. Can't everyone just keep their hands to themselves and play nice!"
Murphy's law: Any potential hazard will be encountered. I'm writing this diary from the NWC conference room. My computer refuses to function for more than five minutes without seizing up.
12/06/98
This weekend I'm taking care of my PR duties (hence this diary). Not the most exciting stuff, so I'll relate a short story from earlier this week.
David Mullich (producer), Mark Caldwell (NWC vice president and programmer), Jon Van Caneghem (NWC president, creator of all things Might and Magic, and company design visionary), and I found ourselves crowded into the sweltering office of Scott White.
Scott did all the town screens in Heroes III except the Rampart, Necropolis, and Fortress. Since he finished his 3D duties, he's turned his skills to the game's interface. Believe it or not, we were in Scott's office arguing about color: interface colors and player colors.
After much arguing about the interface colors, we decided to leave it virtually untouched. Player colors were a different subject.
Originally, we used light blue, dark blue, red, green, purple, brown, black, and white. These colors needed to change. Light blue looked like the blue used in the main menu. Brown clashed with the brown used in the general game interface. Game text disappeared against white. Black and green disappeared with the terrain colors shown on the game mini-map.
OK. We agreed some of the colors needed to change. After this, the agreements stopped. I don't know what is more ridiculous... arguing over what colors to use or the twisted logic behind the arguments. Red, blue, and dark green were safe choices. We still needed five other colors. The conversation went something like this....

"I don't want yellow. Yellow is the urine color."
"What about brown?"
"I don't like brown."
"Brown is the s**t color."
"What about pink?"
"Pink is a sissy color."
"We won't call it pink. We'll call it 'rose'."
"Rose?"
"The rose player?"
"I don't know. If I saw a pink hero, I'd turn and run away. You know any hero secure enough to use pink as his color is bad ass."
"What about magenta?"
"What about cobalt? What about cadmium?"
"Have we accounted for all the fecal colors?"
"What about orange?"
"Phelan (our art lead) doesn't like orange. It looks bad."
"So. I don't think it looks bad."
"Fine. You tell her you want orange."
"She'll kick your ass."
"Oh. Fine. We won't use orange."

So it went. Fifteen minutes later everyone agreed to disagree, and Jon was made the final judge. Here are the final colors: red, blue, yellow, green, orange, purple, aqua, and rose (pink).
12/07/98
Today we stopped all map production. From here until we ship, I join the mapmakers and testers in playing maps and writing bugs... or so I thought.
Today, I had dropped into my lap the assignment of converting the 144-plus pages of the game manual into a help file. Anyone who has written a help file knows how huge this task can be. I could probably finish it in a day, but it requires no one bothering me for an extended period of time. Ha!
At this late stage of the production cycle, my entire day is spent meeting with people, making sure people are doing their work, and confirming that what is being done is correct. I don't have time for work. I've made the ugly evolution from game designer to middle manager.
It wasn't like this at the beginning of the project. At the beginning of the project the game designer is the screaming prophet, lost and alone in the desert (or the design process if you prefer).
In the middle of the production process the prophet is being screamed at by all his fellow coworkers who are wondering what to do because the design doc is behind schedule.
At the end of the project, everyone's a screaming prophet, and everyone is screaming at everyone else.
Sometime in the middle of all this screaming I've got to write this help file. Maybe I could give the assignment to Christian Vanover (H3 assistant director). Isn't it the job of a middle manager to delegate?
12/08/98
Yesterday I was wondering where I would find the time to write the game help file. Today I have the answer.... I think I have the flu. This doesn't feel like any 24-hour "see-ya-bye" flu either. This feels like "kneel before Zod!" flu.
All right. I've got a story for you.
Earlier today we "officially" stopped making maps. From here on out, we play, test, and polish the game. This could mean a little, or a lot. If the maps play well the first time out, revisions will be minor. If we end up chucking whole maps, we may find ourselves back to making maps. Thus, we started playing them today. JVC (Jon Van Caneghem, New World's president) ended up playing a notorious map named "Barbarian Breakout."
Ten minutes after he starts, JVC pages me over my phone intercom: "Hey Yoda." (He's been calling me Yoda lately. I don't know why. I'm not sure if I should be honored or offended. On one hand, Yoda is wise and he trains Jedi Knights. On the other hand, he is a short ugly green dude with big ears.) "Enemy hero with six behemoths (one of the highest-level creatures) knocked on my front door on week two, day one."
"Oops. I'll be right there."
As soon as I walked into JVC's office, the razzing began.
"What's with the six behemoths? Is this one of the balanced scenarios?"
"OK, OK. Something's wrong. Turn off the fog."
Jon restarts the scenario, turns off the fog of war, ends turn four times in a row, then right-clicks the enemy hero to see the extent of his forces. Aside from his other three stacks of creatures... he has one stack of six behemoths. Oops.
"All right. Open the map in the editor."
Jon opens the map in the editor. What do we discover? First, the enemy hero starts at level three, and the mapmaker (Dave Botan) has given him four stacks of creatures. In addition, the enemy hero's starting town has three of seven creature generators already prebuilt.
No wonder the enemy was able to recruit behemoths on day four.
Remember the story about the father who comes home from a bad day at work and yells at his wife? She in turn yells at her kid. The kid in turn kicks the dog.
At this point, I'm looking for a dog to kick. So, I hunt down Dave Botan. Immediately, Dave states his defense.
"Everyone says the map's too hard. It isn't. The AI's cheating." (Recently, we discovered the artificial intelligence was exploiting an undiscovered bug allowing it to recruit more creatures than were actually available.)
"The AI doesn't need to cheat. It's already got a huge advantage."
"There's a bug."
"Doesn't matter. Set all players to normal starting conditions."
At this point everyone begins to playfully dog-pile on Dave telling all the reasons why his maps suck. In the end he relented and fixed the map.
12/09/98
I'm not writing from work today. I'm writing from home. I have seven-way-straight-from-the-bottom-of-the-Amazon-flu.
With this kind of flu the logical course of action would be to rest, drink lots of fluids, watch lots of movies, maybe see a doctor. However, I am a game designer and unfamiliar with the ways of logic. A day at home with the flu means I have the opportunity to finish the H3 help file.
Wow.
How pathetic can you get? On my day off to rest and get better, I use the uninterrupted time to convert a 144+ page manual into a help file.
I should get sick more often. I get more work done.
12/10/98
I'm back at work today. Good news... I finished the help file. Bad news... I still have the flu, and because I was so efficient in writing the game help file... I've been given the task of writing the map editor help file. Oh yeah, finish it by Monday.
Monday? There's so much pressure in my head, when I sniff, my eyes want to flee their sockets. My voice has the auditory consistency of sandpaper. Monday? Sure, I'll have it done by Monday.
12/11/98
Well, it's Friday night, and I have yet to see Star Trek: Insurrection. Doubt I'll be seeing it anytime soon.
One of the unmentioned symptoms of crunch time is cultural unawareness. In my time at a previous company I almost missed the entire O.J. trial. I haven't seen a movie since Starship Troopers. I'm not kidding.
12/14/98
I shouldn't have come in to work Thursday and Friday. It really pushed me over the edge. For the past two days I've been laid up with fever and chills. Remarkably, it was the one thing to take my mind off work. Aside from a froggy throat, it seems to have passed.
Enough about my illness. From here on, assume I'm always ill with the flu.
12/15/98
Today NWC (New World Computing) took a brief pause from game development to listen to Trip Hawkins (president of 3DO, NWC's parent company).
Twice a year, Trip makes a formal visit to talk about the company and where we're going as a company. It's a nice break from things.
However, Trip wasn't half as exciting as David Richie (our tools programmer) who sat next to me. Turns out David is coming down with the flu.
Over the course of the meeting, the air conditioning didn't turn on. With over 50 people crammed into a room, it got hot very fast. As the minutes passed, I could see David slowly whither.
I thought he was going to vomit. So basically, for most of the meeting, I sat envisioning how I was going to get out of the way when the volcano erupted.
Luckily, the volcano did not erupt. David left in the middle of the lecture and I haven't seen him since.
12/17/98
Welcome to the end of another working day at NWC. There is still no sign of David Richey. Another one of our programmers, John Krause, called in sick today. David Mullich (the Heroes III director) was ready to take bets on who would call in sick next. Of course, everyone blames me for getting them ill.
As far as your average NWC workday goes, this one was hectic and full of revelation.
Revelation?
Yes. Revelation. Only today did I look at my calendar and realize Christmas was next Friday.
Hectic?
Yes. Hectic. Every now and then I need to wipe my desk clean. This means catching up on all the hand-scrolled notes and stray post-its littered about my desk. When my desk is clean, I'm caught up.
This very act of cleaning makes for a semi-chaotic day. There is much gear shifting and subject changing to close dangling issues.
Add to this my usual parade of visitors, and my first chance to test multiplayer, and it takes great effort to avoid turning into a screaming monkey. Yes, I said screaming monkey.
Frequently, I find myself held hostage in my own office as a line of visitors (testers, programmers, artists, producers, etc.) quickly assemble outside my office in a short period of time, all wanting a piece of my brain.
Today it happened to occur while I was in the middle of a multiplayer game with Jeff Leggett (H3 multiplayer programmer). Simultaneously, I had three people show up and cram themselves into my small office. Each began jockeying for position to ask a question. Meanwhile, Jeff waited on the phone intercom, with Heroes III continually chiming in the background, letting me know it was my turn to play.
At this point you may apply the screaming monkey metaphor.
Despite the great potential for chaos, I asked Jeff to wait, gave my three suitors a number, told them to wait in line, then answered each of their questions.
On the surface, everything looked under control. Little did these poor souls know there was a screaming monkey, trapped in my mind's steel cage, wildly thrashing about in a desperate attempt to escape and turn me into a volcano of anger and lunacy.
When it was over, I took a deep breath, noted the walls weren't sprayed with the blood of innocent coworkers, and returned to my multiplayer game with Jeff.
Heroes II multiplayer wasn't friendly in the least. When it wasn't your turn, all you could do was sit at the computer and stare at the screen like a moron.
Well, thanks to our wonderful network programmer, Jeff Leggett, a moron you will no longer be.
Jeff has finished implementing multiplayer support. Now we're on a bug hunt. So, today, Jeff and I played a multiplayer game in the background while we went about our work.
I must admit, I had a blast. Moments like this make me forget my job is serious work.
12/18/98 Friday
Today I actually managed to catch up on all my notes. Next up, International Translation Kit. It can wait until Sunday. I don't get to enjoy these moments of accomplishment very often.
Being a game designer is nothing more than a life of delayed gratification. You spend the first month of the project "being creative," then spend the next 17 as a bricklayer implementing low-level details and boot-strapping the game design when unforeseen consequences arise.
Tomorrow we have our annual company Christmas party. I won't be going. I see my coworkers every day at work. I don't want to see them in a social environment. It'd be too weird. They'd have, like, spouses and dates and stuff, and wear dress clothes.
We've been told we can dress formal or casual. To me this means torn jeans and a food-stained white T-shirt. To everyone else, this means dress formal, because no one wants to underdress.
I don't want to see any of my coworkers dressed up. The thought frightens me. We're a bunch of geeks. We don't look good in casual wear. Formal wear will only amplify our geekiness.
Only one thing could entice me to go to the Christmas party - seeing the wives go off on the management for working their husbands so hard. I'd pay to see that... provided I wasn't on the receiving end.
By the way... hello to Chris Cross and Brian Reed, two friends I made when I briefly worked at Dreamworks Interactive (I didn't work on Trespasser). They called me today. They'd read the first entry in the Designer Diary and called to tell me what they thought. They then tied me up on the phone for the next 30 minutes while simultaneously sending me e-mail with bizarre and obscene attachments.
01/02/99 Saturday
Well, I'm back at work. The Christmas break was needed. I spent the first three days drinking eggnog, sleeping in 12- and 16-hour shifts, and watching Clinton get impeached.
After I was well rested, the eggnog was all gone, and Clintion was impeached, I did what any game design loser would do... worked on the game while on vacation. Ugh. I'm so pathetic.
My initial goal was to play existing maps. After playing five maps, it was obvious the AI hadn't been fully tested. It tended to sit back and never struck out until it had enough forces to guarantee a win.
This made for very extreme game experiences. Either you never saw the AI, or it came storming out of nowhere, knocked on your door, and politely introduced itself as your doom.
When our AI programmer (Gus Smedstad) gets back from vacation, I'll need to share my findings with him.
Well, seeing as I couldn't really play the game, I turned my attention to our 144-page game manual... much to my horror.
It turns out our second draft of the manual was full of errors. So, with red pen in hand, I promoted myself from game designer to fact checker. Over the next three days, I proceeded to bloody the pages of our beautiful manual.
To say it was tedious would be an understatement. When it was all over, I couldn't read anything if it wasn't written in fine print.
01/04/99 Monday
Today was another screaming monkey day. Why? One word: programmers.
I won't say who, but one of our programmers came into my office and proceeded to yell at me over a feature request he'd been given to program.
Why was he yelling at me? On the surface, it was because I hadn't given him enough details, or I hadn't thought through its impact enough. Or it could have been because it was simply a stupid feature, I didn't know what I was doing, and I was ruining the game.
The real reason? He wasn't sure how to program the task he'd been given, and the specified time frame was short. Instead of calming down, thinking it through, and telling me whether it could or could not be done in the given time frame, he panicked, and chose to vent at me.
Programmers are a unique breed. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. Some of my best friends are programmers.
I must admit I am fascinated. I've watched each of our team programmers code. It's very amusing. How they code gives me a unique insight to their personality. For instance...

John Bolton (lead programmer): When John programs, it looks like he's playing chess.
David Richey (tools programmer): David doesn't code. Beforehand, he thinks about his task in depth, like contemplating philosophy, then simply writes it up. Quite often you can look through David's office window and see him bent over in his chair, chin on fist, like The Thinker.
Mark Caldwell (NWC VP): You need to know Mark to really understand, but when Mark codes, it's like he's in a boxing ring, ducking shots, trading blows, and trash talking with the program.

Now take such individuals and do the unthinkable... Make them into a team. Worse yet, force them to have meetings in which they must interact on a social level and agree to work together. Worse yet, force them to interact with right-brained artists and game designers.
It's a wonder any games ever get made.
Join designer Greg Fulton as gives us his very last Designer Diary entry, which tracks the last days of Heroes of Might and Magic III. In these last few days, the team waited anxiously to approve the gold candidate. But there is no rest for Greg, as he mentions a little something about the expansion disc. Join us as we count down the final development of Heroes III.
01/07/99
Ever heard the phrase "thousand tile stare"?
It's a phrase used by our mapmakers. You get the thousand tile stare from making H3 maps all day long.
Today I got the thousand tile stare after making a map for our eventual game demo.
It's a very simple, small map, letting players experience a portion of the game. Hopefully they'll experience enough and feel compelled to buy the game. I've been calling the map "Dead and Buried."
When I finished, I gave it to Chris Vanover (H3 assistant director) to play. Chris is an expert Heroes player. He's a good gauge of the map's difficulty.
Watching Chris play was a lot of fun. It allowed me to take a break from work and finally see the game in action. However, I am the worst person to have over your shoulder when you play.
Why? I'm a backseat driver. It's a bad habit from playing console games with friends.
Thus, I watched Chris play and second-guessed him all the way. We were like two old men spitting and complaining about the best strategy as Chris clicked his way through the game. It was rather humorous.
01/08/99
Today I gave the Dead and Buried map to a few select people to see if anyone could beat it in the allotted time frame of four game weeks.
One of my candidates was Jen Bullard. Jen is the only female tester in the QA area.
Upon entering the test area, I found Jennifer burning a candle at her desk. She wasn't afraid to comment aloud how everyone else in the test area doesn't wash their clothes often enough. She thinks they stink.
No sooner did I sit down to watch Jen play than the verbal bantering between the testers began.
Ryan Den, another one of our testers, was sure he found a bug and asked aloud if anyone had encountered the same bug. No one had. Immediately everyone began shouting "user error." Ryan thought they were all high... until he realized it was user error. Everyone then proceeded to playfully tear into Ryan yet again.
I must admit, our testers are pretty cool. Their interactions are quite amusing. They banter with the voracity of a knife fight, but it's rarely cruel.
01/14/99
Last night was my last chance to revise the game manual. Thus, I decided to pull an all-nighter to finish it. This was my first time being at NWC so late. I also experienced something completely new.
I had been drinking many free Cokes when my bladder reminded me who was really in charge. Without hesitation, I raced to the bathroom. I opened the door. It was dark. This is not unusual. The lights are hooked up to a motion sensor. To save energy, they turn on and off based on the presence of a moving body. Confident the lights would turn on, I strode into the bathroom.
The lights did not illuminate.
Fumbling around in the dark, I was able to find the light switch and flip it on.
Nothing.
Fumbling around some more, I found the door handle and exited the bathroom.
Moving quickly to Mark Caldwell's office (Mark and George were also working late), I told him, "The bathroom lights won't turn on." He said, "Yeah. The bathroom lights don't turn on after midnight." I asked, "How do you go to the bathroom with the lights off?" He answered, "Usually I just feel my way to the urinal."
"I need to take a crap."
"Hey, I wouldn't know anything about that. Get the flashlight from George."
"I need a flashlight?"
"Yeah."
So, I walked to George's office.
"I need the bathroom flashlight."
Giggling to himself under his breath, George reached into his desk and gave me a pocket flashlight. With flashlight in hand I returned to the bathroom where everything went according to plan.
I know game production has its odd moments, but... this one was really odd.
01/18/99
In the last days of a game's production, the game designer makes a desperate attempt to prevent features from being cut to make the deadline. However, if I got all the features I wanted, the game would never ship. Thus, there is always a tug of war between the game designer, management, programmers, and artists, to decide what gets into the game and what gets pushed back to the expansion or sequel.
Today I was doing my best to get a new hero into the game without too much additional programming or art. I realized I could get the results I needed by simply adding a new graphic and customizing an existing game hero. Even better, I could get the graphic from existing art in the intro movie. All the artist had to do was crop a freeze-frame from the movie and give it to our asset manager to be put into the game. I could customize the hero in the editor. All the programmers had to do was recognize the character's unique identification.
Well, we did.
I wonder how much longer I can push my luck.
01/19/99
I have become the Walmart floor manager.
No. I haven't quit my job.
Let me explain.
At this stage in the making of the game, I find myself spending most of my time walking the halls with my Notepad of Oppression waiting for people to call out my name.
The notepad is a list of issues needing resolution. Most people find the notepad humorous unless their name is on it. Ironically, I end up putting my name on the notepad more than anyone else's (I'm oppressing myself).
Regardless, when I am walking the halls and someone calls out my name, I duck into their office to answer their questions. Sometimes this means getting on their phone and calling someone else to clear up an issue. If I don't have the answer, I'm the intermediary.
Thus, I feel like the Walmart floor manager, roaming the isles, taking care of arising issues. All I really need is the blue vest.
01/20/99
For a moment, consider most game manuals. Usually, a manual details the game interface and introduces you to the various game elements. Rarely do these manuals give you true game statistics.
For Heroes III , we wanted to buck this trend. Using the Heroes II strategy guide as a model, we decided to make a big manual loaded with information. This is exactly what we did - 144 pages.
Today we signed off on the manual. Well, no sooner did the ink dry than we discovered some errors. It was terrifying. I literally sat at my desk, looking at the errors I had discovered, and heard the manual mocking me with the chittering of a wild hyena.
There was nothing I could do. It was carved in stone. Now understand, most manuals ship with some errors. This is what the Readme is for. However, several people had gone over this manual time and again, and still there were errors.
I'll never make a big manual again. It's too much upkeep considering the fluidity of game design.
I'm sure I'll lose some sleep over this.
1/25/99
Today the Coke machine caught fire.
Let me repeat this.
Today the Coke machine caught fire.
Since we started crunching, around 7:00pm each night, Mark Caldwell (NWC VP) has been unlocking the Coke machine for free drinks to go with our evening meal. We don't continue pressing the selection buttons for the various drinks. Instead, we literally open up the front half of this big, red, half-ton refrigerator, made to withstand the assaults of the most juvenile of delinquents.
Now, I'm not exactly clear on the details, but one of the testers pulled open the front door to grab a soda from inside. Apparently, some of the electrical wires were sheared, followed by fire and smoke.
Upon seeing the fire and smelling the smoke, the tester grabbed Ben Bent (NWC office manager and part-time game director). He then pointed out the fire in the Coke machine.
With perfect calm, Ben simply unplugged the Coke machine. Poof. The fire went away.
I must admit, I can't help but see the fire in the Coke machine as a metaphor for Heroes III in production. A fire starts, someone panics, and someone else calmly solves the problem.
Truthfully, it's the story of the game production process.
2/07/99 Sunday
Today could be the day.
We've decided to make a "final candidate" CD-ROM for 3DO approval. A final candidate is what we consider "ready to ship." We then send the final candidate to 3DO for them to do shrink-wrap testing.
Tonight, no one leaves the building until the game is finished.
2/08/99 Monday
It's 5:00am Monday morning.
We just started burning the final candidate.
About half the team is still here.
We've been crunching too long. Everyone's burnt.
About 15 minutes ago, Mark starting broadcasting Money For Nothing over everyone's speakerphone.
Ironic.
02/13/99
I am literally weak-kneed. Except for writing this entry, all I intend to do is just sit in my office chair and do everything I possibly can to do nothing.
As of 8:30 Saturday, February 13, we're calling it good Barring last-second crash bugs, the game is done.
It's 9:30, and with the realization the game is done, already I'm beginning to crash.
After crunching for so long, the crash is the aftereffect. This is the time when you finally realize you can relax and return to a somewhat normal life. This is also the flag signaling the release of all the pent-up stress and illness you've been holding off by sheer will for the past six months. Thus... crash.
Wow.
We're done.
02/14/99
Four days after announcing Heroes has gone gold, we're already talking about the expansion pack. Already, I've assembled my map makers. They're good people. With H3 under their belts they should make even better maps for the expansion.
The downside? Chris Vanover is moving onto a different project. Technically Chris was H3's assistant director, but I adopted him as my assistant designer. He was a big help in many of the grunt areas. I was hoping to hand the expansion off to Chris so I could concentrate on the next Heroes.
No such luck.
Ultimately, this means vacation must wait.
(whimper)
Where is a monkey boy when you need one?
02/19/99
David Mullich's (Heroes III director) wife was pregnant and expecting about the same time as E3 last year (Atlanta '98). So, he couldn't go and demonstrate the game.
I was the next logical choice. I know the game better than anyone else, and when needed, I can turn on the charm.
Now don't get me wrong, when I have demoed the game, it has been a delight. Yet, as a game, Heroes III doesn't demo well. It's a turn-based game. It's not a first-person shooter or real-time strategy game. There's no real immediate reward for your attention span to latch onto.
However, Heroes does have a very large, very dedicated following. Thus, most people who want to see Heroes are already fans. This was the case at E3.
At E3 I did the vast majority of the presentations. I did so many I ended up losing my voice. Almost all the people who saw the game were fans of Heroes and liked what they saw. We were so successful, people were taking chairs from the other game stations to sit in front of ours.
Well, the downside to my work at E3 was... I became the demo guy. The downside of being the demo guy is traveling.
I hate traveling.
Once I arrive at my destination, there's no problem. I'm just impatient by nature. I'm also 6'1" and hate sitting in supercramped airline seats.
So, today I got to fly up to 3DO with Peter Ryu (MM7 producer), Keith Francart (MM7 director), and Jeff Blatner (new Heroes producer) to give presentations on MM7 and Heroes III to our Ubi Soft partners and a smattering of European journalists.
As much as I hated getting up at 5:30am and traveling to San Francisco (less than one week after going gold), the trip was amusing for a number of reasons.
Since I have been at New World, Peter Ryu has always worn shorts and sandals. For the presentation, Pete was ordered to wear pants and shoes. Throughout the day, he was wincing as the shoes rubbed his feet raw.
The other amusing part was hanging out with the French chicks from Ubi Soft and the European press.
Last time I was at 3DO I did an H3 presentation to a number of European journalists. Not a French woman among them. It was different this time, and dare I say, worth the trip.
02/22/99
David Mullich (H3 director), George Ruof (H3 programmer), and I are the only members of the team in the building today. Everyone else is on vacation.
Over the weekend I began my self-rehabilitation for returning to the real world.
When you do nothing but work 12-14 hours a day, seven days a week, and then it all comes to an abrupt halt, you suddenly find you have all this spare time on your hands.
Ultimately, you become bored. You don't know what to do with yourself because your "normal" situation meant working on the game... but the game is finished. Normal has become different and no longer normal.
A logical assumption for curing this boredom would be a vacation. Not yet. I've got to write the design for the expansion disc. I've got two weeks before it is due. After hammering out the specs, everyone will be briefed, then I can go on vacation.
I've got it all planned out. I haven't seen my parents since Christmas of 1997. So, I'm going to go back home and sit in the rocking chair in front of my dad's big-screen TV and watch nothing but cable television for at least two weeks. You heard me. Nothing but CNN Headline News for two weeks. If by then I'm not properly vegetated, I'll watch it for another week. Then I'll track down my old high school girlfriend and see if she's still single.
I've set up an e-mail address for your feedback about the game when it hits the shelves. This e-mail is merely for player feedback and suggestions. I will be the one reading the e-mails, and most likely, I won't be answering any of them. So, don't flame me if I don't respond. [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]).
I've enjoyed writing these diaries. I wish I had been able to dedicate more time to them.
My apologies to Elliott Chin (who made these diaries possible). Elliott wanted me to talk about the design philosophy behind H3. After practicing design philosophy 12-14 hours a day, I couldn't bring myself to write a diary about it. So, I thought I'd do "a day in the life." I hope you enjoyed my tongue-in-cheek account.
I leave you with the following words I once heard the great Jon Van Caneghem speak, "When it's all over you'll forget how hard it was and do it all over again."
He's right. We will.

Today is the third day of me having nothing to eat.. I’ve survived off water & one can of pears since i think Saturday night.. i found stale crackers & il try to eat that. The food pantry is closed til Wednesday. I dont know what to do. This happens more frequently now,im out of work waiting for approval to go back This happens alot since we got our EBT refused, they keep thinking we make more money than we do, and we have shown them multiple times that we are below the standard dollar amount.but the same women refuses us every time. Ive tried to talk to a supervisor & she wont return my calls or meet me in office. They keep denying us,and theres no one to follow up to make complaints to, I don’t understand this country anymore. Is this normal all over? Does any one else have to go thru this? Surviving on cans of beans or fruits, because you cant afford food where you live? How do you do it?