Hey I just need to vent and I'm not sure where to post this so I'm coming here after my third call with their support team. I live in the city yet the closest target to me is either a 25 minute drive in city traffic (where my car has been hit and run in the parking lot 2x last year) or a 17 minute drive into another state to a mini target where I have to pay a $14.50 toll to get there. It's frustrating. I used to shop multiple times a week as it was my most convient grocery store when I lived down south in the US and was around the corner from my parents home. I have had the same account since 2017 and once again have used it at least once a week every week since then for the most part. Well since moving to the city I began to take advantage of their two day free shipping and just buy what I needed and have it shipped to my apartment building. Most days it would arrive fine in my package room. Other days it would be left outside my building on a city street and guess what? If I wasn't working from home and didn't run it would be taken as soon as it was dropped off most lucky would be if it was left torn open and strewn about on the street. I complained to the building, PD, and Target every time as well as filed a report with both target and the shipping company they used.
The other day I place an order not thinking about it stuff for my partners birthday this weekend and I make the mental note it should come Monday 6/5. Today 6/6 it is still not here. I go on my app and the order was cancelled it says for supply issue. I go back.through add every item to my cart and it will make it barely on time on 6/9 I say that's fine and cancel the items that won't be here in time. I go back to work and then see the email ordered cancelled. Same notice. So I call customer support I'm told my account is suspended. I'm a little confused talk it out hang up and then I decide to call back for more details. I have giftcards and rewards in the app, did I lose those with the suspension etc? Call number two tells me that because I've had stolen packages and live in what's now mapped to target as a high theft area as other people in my building and other buildings near me have the same situation I no longer can place orders for shipping. I'm upset. I'm frustrated, but go back to working.
I decide you know what I'll take the time during my lunch break tomorrow. Hopefully traffic won't be bad. I'll place the order for drive up and just go pick it up that way I don't lose time in my schedule and I also don't leave my car to be hit in the lot. I place the order and an hour later it's cancelled again. I call support back and I can no longer use my account at all and all assets are frozen so I'm losing 6 years of history, $13.57 in reward dollars, and two $50 giftcards. The woman on the phone tells me because I have had three packages stolen from me in the last year from their business and the area I live in. She cannot even submit a claim to have my account become accessible in store. I honestly asked her if we can close the account and open a new one which she told me every account I open from here till forever will most likely be flagged and suspended.
I am just so pissed off. I did the math and in 6 years I have spent $30-40k at this store but because $187 in merchandise was stolen from me I can pretty much never shop there again or at least use the benefits of shopping there which is the major draw of doing so!?

I can’t hear the way that I used to. About a month ago I caught this really bad cold to the point where my throat was inflamed and I had to stay home from work. Then I was just really stuffy for the next few days.
But a week after that “cold” My right ear started to get really full. This usually happens every once in a while in both ears this ever since a few years ago but it usually goes away after a few hours to days.
…but this time it hasn’t…
This time it’s stayed in my right ear for days. And then I got an ear infection in my right ear along with having some weird sinus cold.
I went to urgent care and got antibiotics but stupidly forgot to take them for days and now I regret it. Although I finished the medicine, I feel like I destroyed my ear.
My jaw and face has been inflamed for days and idk how to make it stop. I get tinnitus in both of my ears and to want to make it stop because it’s driving me crazy. My ears constantly feel like they need to be popped but they don’t and im going mad.
I can’t hear my footsteps, I can barely hear things in the background and I can’t even hear myself swallow.
Allergy medicines barely work now because my sinuses are clear but it’s just my ears.
What do I do? What if I go deaf? Music is the only thing that keeps me sane. What if I can’t hear my loved ones anymore? Im panicking.
I feel like im going to lose my hearing and idk what to do about it. I just want to cry.😢

So this is where I currently stand - this is technically not my diagnostic because I have taken one before. However, my prep up until that point had many breaks and I was quite inconsistent. So I took another diagnostic today after seriously studying for a week, and nothing has changed - but I am hopeful because I feel I have truly only just started!
On my BR, I got 0 for LG, and I am confident I understand LG and am capable of getting 0, I just need to improve my time management. For the rest of my blind review: LR: -5 and -8; RC: -8.
I am hoping to score in the 170's for my actual test - I was planning on the October or November 2023 LSAT, fully preparing to take it a second time. I am looking for any and all words of wisdom?!
I would also love an early morning study accountability buddy (EST) if anyone is intersted?!
https://preview.redd.it/zjzbwvb79h4b1.png?width=2760&format=png&auto=webp&s=b360e9580e25dd0d97df86680f00e95735eb7493

We were having a pretty casual conversation in a group of friends/colleagues and the topic of disabilities popped in. The group chill and there was never a problem, until today.
I obviously am atheist and I am not sure if others knew about it, its not one of those things you just tell other people, it was never a topic of discussion. I didnt know the beliefs of most of the group.
The point is, we went from disabilities to its cause, and one of the christians said disabilities are thought to be a hardship struck by god because people in their past lives were bad people.
I asked if he thought they deserved it, and yes, he thinks everyone with disabilities is someone who did awful shit in their last lives and thus, are bound to suffer here on earth.
Here is the thing: My mom is deaf since birth, and she was born in a super rural 3rd country, you can imagine the absolute nightmare to acquire any sort of specialized healthcare support. No one in a hundred kilometers had any idea what ASL was. She obviously cant speak properly and in general education was pretty hard.
I explain this and the dude keeps the same posture, we discuss for a while, he goes easy on the words, but in the end it was “yep, I know its hard, but your mom deserved it”.
I never fought in my life, but at that moment the only thing I wanted to do was to lunge at the dude…I ended up leaving and the group is split now, shit hit the fan and no one was spared on the discussion. Most of them talked to me later to provide to make sure I know they dont agree with it.
This is a reminder that people CAN be level headed and considerate most of the time on the surface, but these scenarios shows the completey ridiculous beliefs people have to be aligned at a very fundamental level, and at some point, they will show their true colors. I knew the dude for a while and he never crossed me as a religious zealot.
I came from a very christian family and so I know that in the end, most just want someone/something to hang to and to put their hopes on, and some of them (as with anything, theres obviously the vile ones) are genuinely good people. There is never much thought put on these questions, because if they thought about it a bit more, maybe they wouldnt be religious to begin with.
You know the worst of all? Mum is christian as well. I just imagine she as a kid trying to make sense of god and why he created her the way he did.
This has been grinding my gears since and the more I think about it, the more bitter I become. Religion just puts a bad taste in my mouth now, I just cant comprehend how they can be so fucking stupid, I am genuinely angry. How do you deal with this? Even the way I treat my religious family has changed.

System: 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons
Platform: Discord (Voice) + Foundry
Time: 7:00AM Central, Sunday mornings
Age: 30+
Prior Sessions: 5
Level: 3
Party comp: An assassin, a hexblade and a war cleric walk into a bar...
Blurb: A democratic state is wedged between two restive nations, maintaining independence through delicate balance of power and keen diplomacy. To the North the tyrant king expands his reportedly undead reach. To the South a thousand year dynasty faces upheaval as the royals fall in battle and allegiances are shaken. Elves meddle, dwarves raid, gnomes boil children and halflings boil potatoes. Amidst this turbulent backdrop, you, noble adventurer, seek to exterminate rats and fetch macguffins for a few silver more.
World: Homebrew window dressing on a popular third party setting.
Game type: Fairly-classic-fantasy, fiction first with a little bit of crunch. Low-moderate lethality - death is a possibility but not a certainty.
DM: 42/he/him, only played the last 5-10 years. Pretty well grounded in mechanics, not so much with the lore. There may be discrepancies between my characterization and DnD canon; I’m okay with that.
Party: Heroic/good leaning. 4 is ideal. 50% is quorum. Present players may pilot absent players’ characters. Frequently absent or late players will be replaced.
Players: 30+, punctual, attentive, team oriented. Should be willing to do a little work out of session to be prepared for their role in session.
Content: There will be violence and a bit of foul language, but let’s not get too descriptive in that vein. Rape, racism, and sexual assault aren’t themes I’d like to explore. Everyone at the table should feel comfortable.
Maps: Always for battle. I find theater of the mind combat arbitrary and capricious. Battlemaps will be 25% gorgeous maps that I sourced, 50% crummy maps that I’ve made, and 25% grid and rough sketches because I wasn’t expecting things to happen. I’m not a fan of world maps. I mean I love them, just not as party GPS. No hex-crawling here.
Character Creation:

• Point buy
• +3 max ability mod at lvl 1
• Approved Sources: PHB, SCAG, XGTE, most TCOE
• Some exceptions apply
• Material from other sources may not be accepted
• Feel free to ask
• Don’t feel free to haggle
• Map out character progression in spreadsheet or document
  • Race/Class/Subclass/Scores/Skills/Features/ASIs/Feats/Spells, all of it
  • Informs players on character mechanics
  • Informs DMs on player intentions
  • Helpful for narrative purposes, foreshadowing, loot, and boons. Foreknowledge makes party/encounter balance easier Informs DMs on player commitment
  • Character Progression Example

House Rules
Fractional Rest Variant: Allows casters to recover a portion of expended resources every day rather than weekly (gritty) or between arcs (safe haven).

• Fatigue and environment affect long rest quality
• There are 5 rest levels: none, minimal, poor, adequate, and full.
• No rest accrues levels of exhaustion
• Minimal rest does not dispel a level of exhaustion
• Fractional rest recovers a fraction of expended hit dice
  • None 0, Minimal 25% Poor 25% Adequate 50% Full 50%
  • Fractional rest recovers a fraction of a casters expended spell slot points
  • None 0, Minimal 25% Poor 50% Adequate 75% Full 100%
  • Slots are recovered from lowest to highest
  • Spell slot points = (spell level) x (slot quantity)
  • If all spell slots are not recoverable, and all spell points are not expendable (i.e. lowest open slot is level n and ≤n-1 points remain) the spell point balance remains for 24 hours, and can be used to restore spell slots on a short or long rest
• Extended Casting Time:
  • Higher level magic takes longer to cast. Attacks during casting triggers concentration checks. On a failed concentration check the spell is not cast, and the slot is not consumed.
  • Most Lvl 3+ spells with a casting time of 1 action take 1.5 rounds
    • Bonus action round prior begins cast
    • Action following round completes casting
  • Most Lvl 5+ spells with a casting time of 1 action take 2 rounds
    • Action to begin casting, next round action to complete casting
  • Most Lvl 7+ spells with a casting time of 1 action take 2.5 rounds
  • Most Lvl 9 spells with a casting time of 1 action take 3 rounds
  • Casters may be granted rapid casting (1 action) on a few select higher level spells as a boon
  • Healing Spells are exempt
• Exhaustion
  • ~DND One style: -1 checks, attacks, DCs, and saves per level, -5 feet movement
  • Lesser Restoration removes 1 level exhaustion
  • Greater Restoration removes exhaustion
  • Hit zero save against exhaustion
• Death
  • Scaling resurrection DC
  • Whisper death saves
• Teleporting
  • Teleports that cross ley lines get swept along with them, and can only conclude along the line.
  • Leylines can be used for fast but not instantaneous travel through the shadow realm, covering hundreds of miles per day. There are risks.
• Shield Spell
  • Ceiling: Max AC=15+Ability Mod+½ Spell Level
  • Range: Touch

How to apply Send a message here or an email to my gmail; same name. Tell us a little about yourself and what you want from a game, ask questions of me, let's find our right players and tables.

https://photos.google.com/album/AF1QipPIguB2ESQ7sV-gv4OO8zY8Lop-rMjhESk9YhZj
Buddy needs to finish a new build off with a GPU. His budget is $650-$680 if there's a box. Anything AMD or Nvidia
Buyer responsible for up to $25 if shipping through Paypal. The rest will be covered if for some reason it's over that price. This won't apply to cases
SELLING THE FOLLOWING:
Part were pulled from buddy's prebuilt.
CPU+RAM+mobo: $230 local or $235 + shipping i7 9700k, ddr4 32gb (quad channel) corsair vengeance 3600mhz CL-18, asus z390-p No boxes so local is priority. Item will be packaged as securely as possible if shipping. Parts will be in an anti static bag and come put together unless requested otherwise There is a small bend on one of the front but he assured me that it causes no issues Not considering parting out atm, maybe in a month or two Used 3-4 years
MSI RTX 2060 Super: $155 local or $160 + shipping; will bundle with CPU MOBO RAM for $370 local or $375 + shipping No boxes so local is priority. Item will be packaged as securely as possible if shipping. will be inside an anti static bag Used for about 4 years Dusted occasionally over the years but not anytime recently
APEVIA 600W PSU GOLD CERTIFIED 80+: $30 local or +shipping; will bundle with CPU MOBO RAM GPU for $400 local or $405+shipping or without gpu $260 local or $265+shipping No screws to mount to PC Nonmodular Dunno anything else Used 3-4 years
Office laptop Dell Latitutde E7450: 70 local or $72 + shipping i5-5300U, 8gb (single stick) DDR3 1600, built in NIC and sd card reader, Samsung 850 EVO 250gb ssd, resolution either 1920x1080 or 1366x768 (i'm getting conflicting answers) This item was owned by me and not my friend. Bought about 2 years ago as a refurb from Amazon. Used by me maybe a total of 30-40 times. Has been COLLECTING DUST since I got a gaming laptop Battery never overflowed. Unplugged when at full charge. Battery health listed as "excellent" as determined by Dell BIOS Trackpad is great, keystrokes are great, everything about this laptop is great (besides the fact that after 2015 it was being outclassed) Dunno how will ship this one yet if shipping
Crucial ballistix RAM: $22 local or $23+shipping 2x8gb ddr4 3000mhz CL-15 Not really much to say Will be mailed in bubble mailer. Maybe like $5 total to ship
Cowin headphones $10 local or +shipping This item was also mine. I tried it on once and never used it I have no audio cable for it I literally know nothing about it. Was given to me for my birthday but I'm not a headphones guy
KINGWIN Sata to usb box: $8 local or +shipping or free with order over $40 Also also mine. I used it once an when trying to fiddle with hdds. Never again Has sata to molex, sata to sata, sata to usb, some other stuff i dont recognize. Most of it is open box as only the sata to usb cable was used Idk how much these go for
Steelseries Rival 3 $5 local or +shipping or free with order over $40 This also also also was mine It worked for the most part but when it was lightly dropped from even tiny heights, it had a stroke for a few seconds, as in the cursor would lag hard when I dragged the mouse, so it's a bit sensitive. I think the ballpoint or something got knocked out of place (idk mouse terminology or troubleshooting) It's pretty damn dirty. Collecting dust and last time I dropped some soil (yes real soil) but it didnt have an effect on the mouse when I continued using it while waiting for a replacement I think this is the exact model: https://www.amazon.com/SteelSeries-Rival-Gaming-Mouse-Programmable/dp/B08176SM7C/ref=sr_1_3?crid=SYJ0LMDO6PAT&keywords=steelseries+rival+3&qid=1686056343&s=electronics&sprefix=steelseries+rival+3%2Celectronics%2C144&sr=1-3 Will ship in replacement box (i ordered a clone off amazon)
TP LINK WIFI ADAPTER $10 or +shipping or free with order over $40 Was mine as well. Used it for 2 years before just using onboard cuz it was better Will cost a couple dollars at most to ship
HYPERX KEYCAPS $15 LOCAL OR +SHIPPING Buddy didnt tell me much about them Shouldnt cost more than $5 to ship, probably $3
LIAN LI O11 DYNAMIC MINI: $90 local (wouldnt make sense to ship) Open box condition Nothing more
CYBERPOWER PREBUILD CASE: Asking price $50 local (I'll look into more appropriate price later also does not make sense to ship) Buddy's case for his prebuilt that got torn down as seen above. Includes two intake and two exhaust fans
x3 Corsair iCUE SP120 RGB PRO Performance 120mm Fan $14 each local or +shipping Dunno if theyre the rgb ones or not. Can test on my pc if youre interested Should cost only a couple dollars for each to ship
Obo prices. Lowballers will be ignored. Local 93630 or 93636 (im in the middle). Not driving more than 10 mins for local orders under $30. One free item per buyer if applicable Comment before pm please

I'm sitting in the park smoking clear with my new buddy John Fakename. He's looking to vent some of his frustrations as of late, and I'm happy to be a shoulder to cry on. But, I also want to write. So, I'm doing both. It's different, but I welcome the challenge.
John's telling me how he's getting fucked over by his mother-in-law. I don't understand why people do bad things. Well, I do. I was young once and I still have my terrible impulse control. But, hurting people? I can't fathom doing that. I would feel so bad because I would feel their pain and suffering.
Are some people immune to that? Sure there's psychopaths and sociopaths in the world, but what about "normal" people who have traumas that make rash decisions as a result of their emotions? That's hard for me to visualize now, having been functionally healed of my garbage emotional dysregulation thanks to the Crazy Intelligent Aliens. Yea, I was a borderline sociopath at one point without even realizing that I was. But now, I'm a damn good person; the option of malice doesn't even pop into mind!
Perhaps that is a great weakness. I can think of being robbed or something, but what if one of you stalking fuckbois really wants to cut my dick off while I'm sleeping? I can't picture how evil really thinks. I could be in a horrible position but my faith keeps my mind from reeling in possibilities.
Maybe it's a great strength, though. What if my kindness is doing me a huge favor? I've made several friends on the street by being forthcoming with my resources. Gotta plant seeds to build bridges. What if I am robbed and the only way I can eat one day is the generosity of a friend? Be a good gardener and there will be a harvest one day.
But then God parts the sea to a new vantage point. Life is like a game of plinko; every moment is a juncture and you reach the big prize by walking the middle way. You go right, you choose to go left next. You go too far in one direction, you make an effort to balance out. That makes me think of a way I can improve.
I've been receiving synchronicities telling me that I'm too giving. I'm letting people take advantage of me and God is reinforcing that doing so is bad for me. I gotta have myself as my first love. I should be more cautious giving away my limited resources. Give to friends, but have your wits about strangers.
I'm really an oaf. I mean, the CIA or whatever has completely tricked me for years. Now, good things have happened, leaving me feeling that God is good, but I'm still super vulnerable to, say, a con artist. Now, you can't con an honest man, but someone could pretend to be a friend and take full advantage of my nature. And I don't know how to combat that.
But, I don't care. My mind's calm and I'm not stirring up the water. I could be a brain in a vat designed by the devil himself and on my next birthday I'm going to be transported to a dimension of pure hell. Don't got to think about that though. You are the captain of your ship; steer to good waters.
Do I give good advice? The aliens lead me to believe I do. But, again, all could be an illusion. I suppose that means I gotta listen to my heart and let that be the north star I guide myself by. May it always shine bright, because the world needs more heart.

I was adopted as an infant and had a wonderful life with my parents. In my youth I reconnected with my biological mother and biological maternal family. I’ve had off and on relationships with my biological mother who is in recovery. I’ve never felt the slightest bit of anger or resentment about her giving me up for adoption. If anything I am grateful to her because my childhood was amazing and probably wouldn’t have been had I remained with her. I’ve told her several times how I don’t and have never judged her and how grateful I am that she made the decision she did.
She recently sent me a happy birthday message on a date that wasn’t my birthday. I wasn’t going to correct her because I don’t care and have never been a big fan of birthdays as an adult. Also, she was really only 4/5 days off from the correct date. However in subsequent messages she kept referring to that specific date in reference to celebrating. I feel like I should correct her because I wouldn’t want her to find out the correct date at some point and resent me not being honest about the correct date. However I also don’t want her to feel embarrassed that she got the date wrong.
Any suggestions on how to handle this so I can be honest but also not embarrass her? For birth parents out there, would this be a source of embarrassment for you or just an honest mistake that you wouldn’t feel self-conscious about?

Didn’t really know how to title, so here’s the TLDR. Full story below.
WARNING: sensitive trigger content ahead.
TLDR: I have a platonic crush on my best friend for the last 10 years and he is now dating for the first time and I can’t handle my emotions.
I was a very depressed kid with hard childhood (immigrants parents, bullied at school from age 11 to 18 - got beat up, called names by a group of bullies everyday) made me a very insecure teen and adult, tried suicide multiple times, have very bad body dysmophia, almost no friends growing up until 22yo when I met James (fictional name) at my workplace.
He is very outgoing and have a strong personality and basically he saved my life by pushing me to become a better person to myself, introduced me to his circle of friends, said motivational and nice things, was always there for me during my depression phases, helped me with my social anxiety, body image, helped me to start accepting that I was gay, took me to my first gay party, my first friends-trip and many other things.
We have a great friendship and I became really close with his childhood friends (also gay) and we are very united ever since. Also I helped him through family problems and have always been there for him no matter what, but he never showed any interest in me romantically and I developed strong feelings towards him through the years and he knows it. We kissed in some parties but that was it. We worked together for the past 8 years and this year I made the decision to leave the company to start taking better care of myself (going to the gym 6 times a week, therapy for the first time three times a week, doing courses that I always wanted to like cooking classes and sewing.
Since he has a strong personality he fought with almost every friend in the past where they won’t talk to each other for weeks or months and then they will reconnect. He is very selfish and wants everything on his time and his way, like if the group wants to go to a restaurant that he doesn’t, he won’t come out with us. Since I am very shy for me it wasn’t an issue but ever since I’ve been taking care of myself and creating a confidence in me that I never had, I started to put my food down in some occasions and seeing him through the fog of someone that I always looked up to to now seeing him as a human that commits mistakes and is a very selfish person. And some of his actions started to hurt me a little and I’ve been calling him out on them and he will just ignore me or not talk to me a few days and come back as if nothing happened.
He never dated in the last 8 years but he would always hookup with guys during parties or Grindr. He is now dating somebody and I don’t really know how I feel. I KNOW in my bones that we would NEVER work out in a relationship, but I love him so very much and I can’t shake this sadness that he never gave me a shot and my insecurities are keep building up as I keep thinking that it’sbexause I’m ugly or this or that. So I’m keeping my distance from him for the past 3 months, we are still talking in our insta/message group chats with our other friends but I’m avoiding all chats and hangouts just the two of us. He’s been trying to reach out but I can’t talk to him as I don’t know what to say since I don’t know how to feel about him.
I feel like I owe him so much for everything. He saved me so many times, but he is a toxic friend nowadays that I just can’t accept during my healing process. Also I don’t want to just exclude him as we have the same circle of close friends (that he introduced me to). The other friends from the group knows why I am keeping my distance as they all at some point fought with James due to his selfishness, but they keep telling me to go out with them (I only go out when he is not around).
What do I do? Sorry this is very bad explained, I’m just feeling so many emotions lately.
Thanks in advance.

For context, I'm someone who experiences a night-and-day difference between sex with and without a condom. In my experience, barrier sex feels closer to mutual masturbation than it does to barrier-free sex. It's enjoyable, but an order of magnitude less intimate and pleasurable. Some people experience only a minor or imperceptible difference, but it's not like that for me. I've tried many brands and non-latex extra-thin extra-wide condoms with extra lube. Regardless, my wiring leaves me sexually unfulfilled when I'm not in a barrier-free sexual relationship.
Additionally:

• This wiring makes me sexually incompatible with women who are unable to use or do not want to use hormonal contraceptives or other female options.
• I am open to non-monogamous barrier-using relationships, if it allows me to have a barrier-free relationship with someone else.
• A barriers-at-all-times monogamous relationship is not what I'm looking for. If that's what's on offer at the point of going exclusive and having tested for STIs, I'd pass.

My partner who I've been barrier-free with for some years is asking to use barriers. She was off the pill for a few months and we used condoms. In the meantime she changed her view on the risks. The chance of pregnancy is under 1% per year if used correctly, and we reverted to barriers till the next period after a missed pill or illness. But, she reads "91% effective in real-world use" line and thinks the risk is too high. So she wants double contraception. She's also someone for whom the difference is minor, it all feels like sex to her. She knows I don't enjoy the barrier sex anywhere near as much.
I'm hesitant to use stats to (attempt to) persuade her to go barrier free. In her view, it's her choice and anything I say along those lines would be unduly pressuring her to go barrier-free. Stats also wouldn't address that she feels unsafe for various reasons, some of which I can't do anything about. I haven't answered her, but she fills in the blank and says I'm a selfish A-hole if I expect her to take any health risk for my pleasure.
Of course I can't demand she take such a risk, but I do want to be with someone who willingly offers to do so, and trusts me to be there and supportive in the event of a pregnancy. I should probably say that.
WIBTA if I tell her that I'd be unhappy in a double-contraception monogamous relationship and it's not a relationship type that I want?
What would you recommend?

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[REQ] ($100) - (#Las Vegas, NV USA), (May 1st 2018), (Pre-Arranged)

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Pre-arranged with prodi12 for $100 will repay $150.

I have been hoping from job to job over the pat 2 years since i could not find something i enjoyed doing, plus couple of health and mental health issues that have been delaying with. The only silver lining from all of it, was the fact that i didn't have to pay for my medical treatment and now that I'm currently just studying instead of working, i still get health coverage.
But recently there has been a big push for privatization, while they started asking for something small, the language they are using and the discourse that I'm hearing is eerily familiar to Ronald Regan's talking points about privatization and hatred for the public worker and the people that rely on the system to survive.
I hate it, while we are staging a protest tomorrow, the sentiment seems to be so divided that i feel like my country is finally falling apart and i have no idea were to go.
I'm so exhausted of going to meetings and protests, just to see how the media and biggest investors change the narrative and everyone just accepts it at face value, no matter how horrible the ideas are, no matter how much we fight for change, everyone votes for the same 3 parties over an over.
I am fucking loosing it, sorry for the rant.

Just wanted to get some stuff off my chest
Had a panic attack about 2 months ago when I was driving. I believe it was the second one I’ve ever had, but definitely the first bad one. Left me with a ton of anxiety. The first one (5 years ago) left me with some as well, but I got rid of most of it, now it’s all back and worse. I hate driving now since the panic attack happened while driving.
Fast forward a few weeks from then - my girlfriend and I were supposed to book a trip. We haven’t gone on a plane trip in the 6 years we had been together and it was very important to her. Anyway, we were about to book it and I completely broke down to her and said I just can’t because of how terrible my mental health has been. I told her I just couldn’t stomach the idea of flying right now and travel just didn’t sound relaxing.
The only time I had to do any long trips was that time. I’m working full time and doing my masters full time, so I don’t have a lot to spare. I told her even financially it would stress me out a bit as well. However, I did use money as a crutch for years to avoid things I was anxious about and I’m sure that played in. But, I told her that when I fully opened up and told her I’m getting help for the first time.
She ended up telling me we needed a break, then proceeded to leave me a couple weeks ago because she was so disappointed by me pulling out of the trip last second. Apparently she had also bottled up other things over the years and this was some kind of tipping point. She said she doesn’t know if we’ll end up together again but she needed some time.
Now? I’m trying to beat all of this anxiety on my own when I thought the one person I could trust would have my side. I had told her I had anxiety before, but this was the first time I truly opened up. Not to mention the stress of full time work and full time school.
Life is crazy. I’m determined to get out of the dark hole I’m in right now and recover our relationship. But man this is the toughest situation I’ve ever been in.
Never had anxiety until that first panic attack. I was quite literally fearless. I’m determined to get back to the way I was only 5 short years ago. I need to crush this anxiety, especially about travelling so I can see the world. I love geography, history and languages and always wanted to visit Europe.

I desperately need advice because my mind has stopped working. I am 27M and dating a beautiful girl(26 F), and it is all where it started. I had 2 relationships before her and they had traumatic episodes on me. The first relationship lasted around 4 years where she was my first everything, but it seems that she didn't love me as much as I thought so. I was in love with her but she never reciprocated the same. (Basically our love language didn't match) I used to tell her to do things that would make me feel good and loved by her but each time she used to give me foolish reasons. My requests were so normal as anybody would expect in a decent relationship just as to be honest with me and talk with me for at least 10 mins a day. The real trauma started as we got close physically, you know in any relationship after 1-2 years or so you want to touch or feel your partner expecting at least a kiss or something. Well after so much convincing we decided to meet up and do at least some kissing and further things, she agreed on first but she rejected the idea of having penetrative sex, (we both were virgins of 20 yrs each). The reason she gave is that she will have sex only after marriage with her husband(me or other person). This happened over 10+ times over 2 years where we met and we just did everything other than penetrative sex. Even if I wanted to have sex with her and give her my virginity, I respected her opinion and never did the penetrative sex. But I didn't know this would cost me so much mental pain. This created an irritation and trauma in me that even after giving so many assurances about marriage with her and loving her so much she is not agreeing to have sex. This created a trauma in me that love is not enough for two souls to combine together by an act of love making. This is the point where i guess virginity started to matter to me. She broke up eventually after 2 years and got married.
I painfully moved on and got a job where I met my 2nd girl (6 months relationship), she was also good looking but she wanted to have sex desperately(FWB thing) and we decided to have sex and she told me that she is a virgin. When we got to the act, i was not able to penetrate her at all, she used to cry in pain, this happened quite a few times and frustrated me. Later after some research I got to know she showed symptoms of vaginismus (basically a condition of women that they can't have penetrative sex). I was devastated by hearing this because, God played some harsh game on me, the first girl didn't have penetrative sex with me even though she had the ability while 2nd girl was not able to have penetrative sex with me because she lacked the ability to have it(until it was treated).
I was heartbroken after such two girls' encounters and virginity became a huge trauma, it's like I need to feel sex with a virgin at least once in a lifetime. Because I am still a virgin even if I got two chances to penetrate a virgin girl. It has been over 6 years in this awful virgin state and now I turned 27 with my unhealed trauma getting wild.
So here somes the most beautiful girl in my world, we basically met in post graduation college and she is current my girlfriend, she is sweetest of all the 2 girls i had relationship with before. She is very caring and overall a very good girl and loves me like anything, i love her too. Love is at that level that whenever we even look at each other we smile by heart and each person's happiness makes the other partner happy. It's like there are 90% of all the things this girl has which i wanted to be in my partner.
But here starts the problem, she had previous sexual intercourse with her partner. It didn't bother me much at first because I was not in the situation of thinking of marrying her, we were just dating and she took my virginity. We were very honest about our past relationships and every other stuff before having sex.
Here as my love grew and thinking of marrying her it started to bother me that I am not her first and i wanted to have sex with her being a virgin to feel it because of my trauma. Now it has started to bother me so much that every time I hear her ex's name i get irritated (it's a very common name). I feel very awful, angry, unlucky and irritated that someone has touched her and even had sex with her in the past and i didn't get the chance to be her first sex. This is bothering me so much as I am thinking to leave her and find someone virgin for marriage. But is it so painful that i know somewhere in my mind that i won't get a girl like her caring behaviour and all the other wonderful aspects of her personality to marry. But the fact that I can't tolerate that I am not her first or matter of fact I didn't have felt with a virgin yet and also can't stand that someone had sex with her before me. The trauma is becoming painful day by day.
Please let me know what to do? Can my trauma heal without leaving/cheating on her?
Also please upvote for maximum opinions.
TL;DR Can't tolerate partner's sexual past because she is not a virgin and it has started to bother me because of my past trauma.

First post on reddit here. I’m under 18 but am trying to build my credit score using step. Step tracks my credit history then submits it when i turn 18 to the credit bureau. This black card coming out has a $100 annual fee.
It has 8x rewards on certain categories and i gót the information with this quote from their discord
“8x points on purchases up to a max of $6000 annually with select Step Black Partners. After hitting the max, you will continue to earn standard points multipliers (3x on dining/food delivery and charitable donations, 2x on entertainment, 1x on everything else).
Quoted from Step Blacks T&Cs”
I’m not entirely sure if i want to get this card and i know that if i can’t keep up with the annual fee it would look bad ok my credit history for canceling the card.
I’m just looking for thoughts and advice if i should get this card
The card information is at this link: https://step.com/blackcard

I live in a townhome with the router downstairs. My PC, which is in my room, is hardwired and I use that ethernet connection as an access point so I can get internet access in my room from my computer rather than the router which is too far to get quality signal
In my room connected to my computers hot spot, my phone and my Nintendo switch get an easy 300-400Mbps down, however my Apple TV is only getting max 25Mpbs down. Is there any way to fix this?
I know this is a semi complicated setup but I have no issues whatsoever on my phone or my switch, it’s only an issue with the Apple TV which is sitting directly next to the switch

Sorry for how long this is, it just requires some context to make sense.
I've been working in an industry for over 10 years now in an administrative capacity within a large system that has over 50,000 employees spread over many sites. I work in a very niche area of that industry that is all about resolving client concerns and improving experiences for clients going forward.
I spent my first 10 years working at the main location in the system and my last two and a half years working at one of the satellite locations which is much smaller as there was more opportunity for growth (bigger fish in a smaller pond, you know.)
While in my current role I completed two different certifications and obtained a certification that gives me a special designation as an expert in my field. I met a lot of people during this time and worked on a lot of projects to improve my field organizationally. One of these projects I worked on included high-level leader within our system.
My current employer mentioned to me in February that they had recognized it and promoted me into a managerial position that came with a really nice pay raise. Prior to that I basically had been living paycheck to paycheck and struggled to make ends meet. At least now I can put a few cents away. Anyway, at the same time that high level leader within the system reached out to tell me they were impressed with my work and that they noticed I was one of only two employees within the system who had obtained this specific designation.
They then mentioned that they thought I would be excellent in a system level role providing education and training to other staff across the system. I mentioned that I had just been promoted in my own organization and that I lease a vehicle so if I was being expected to travel to educate others compensation would have to make sense in order for me to pursue any change at this time. Otherwise that role intrigues me and is something I could see myself excelling at.
They then came back and told me that they would work with my leadership in my location to figure something out. It's been months of this sort of dialogue last month when they reached out and told me they had gotten approval for me to work a hybrid job, one day a week at the system level and do the rest of my work in my current role not my current location. I asked again about compensation.
Today my boss called me into a meeting to tell me that they had worked with this leader to settle on a start date for me to take on these new responsibilities at the system level, but that the system level felt that they couldn't offer me any adjustment in pay to take on the responsibilities.
I calmly and professionally told my boss that I was bummed out that I was being recognized as an expert, and asked to teach others to improve performance at a system level, adding to my responsibilities each week without an adjustment in pay. When I agreed to be a manager in my current location it was for the work I do in this location. The work I'm now being asked to do would provide positive growth and culture change at a system level, and they can't even pay me to do it?? They feel that this is an appropriate ask of any manager within the system.
I'm now being asked to make a decision or to try it out for 6 months and see how I feel. And I really feel like I want to tell them no way, when I was so excited about it before. It feels like I'm being taken advantage of at this point, right?
TL;DR: I've been working really hard to be recognized as a leader an expert in my field. And was recently promoted to a manager position. At the same time a high level executive within the system offered me another role educating the entire system across multiple locations but when asked about compensation as indicated that they feel I can just add this to my current responsibilities with no adjustment in pay. That's messed up right?

Hello! I know this might be an odd and nebulous question, but allow me to give some context. Ever since I was little, I was interested in a career in either politics or law. I was raised in your stereotypical Black and liberal household. So I always thought that either politics or law within the American system would be the only vehicles to implement positive change for African American rights and for America more broadly. My grandparents, who were active in the Civil Rights movement, pointed to that movement and the election of Barack Obama as testaments to that idea.
However, as I have gotten older, I have become increasingly more left and socialist leaning and disillusioned from the American political system. At 15, after witnessing the downfall of Bernie's campaign after being the only supporter of him in my family and school, I became disillusioned. But, when it was time to go to college, I still had an inkling of hope, so I majored in Political Science hoping to affect change a la "AOC and the Squad" style. However, I emphatically hated my experience in Political Science and I actively reject that degree. The Poli Sci department, unsurprisingly, is so entrenched in pro-capitalist and pro-imperial propaganda that anytime I would provide even the slightest pushback in class discussions and assignments, I'd be met with outrageous pushback from both fellow classmates and professors. Around the same time as this was happening, I witnessed Bernie's 2020 campaign fall again, in addition to me also realizing that even a Bernie presidency in this imperial waste bin wouldn't undo the horrors of American capitalism. Not to sound like a doomer, but these experiences have solidified my overall nihilism and pessimism.
So what does all of that have to do with my question? Well, I've recently graduated college and I am looking for something to do with my life, as I have given myself a gap year to figure out. Given my experiences with Political Science, I do not to work for any sort of political related job, such as campaigning or consulting, especially under the current two party system. While I am sympathetic to 3rd Party causes, I am extremely doubtful that engaging in electoral politics will illicit any type of success. I've considered going into law, as that was my original passion. After all, I did intern at the local public defender's office in my college's county. However, after witnessing the state of affairs of the "justice" system when it comes to disadvantaged groups, this career option makes me more pessimistic about being able to affect change. I don't want to take thousands of dollars of debt to go to law school, just to be crushed by a system that inherently makes it impossible to help innocent people. I've even considered going into transit policy, as rail and urban design are considered my hobbies. But if you look at the state of affairs of urban policy in America, it is yet another dead end situation that is inherently built in a way that prevent progress, as this country is car-dependent and pro-NIMBY.
In summary, I want to work in a career field that I feel like I can affect the most positive and meaningful change. I truly want to do something that will make the world (or at least my community) a better place. I am still figuring out my full ideology, but I sure as hell know its not the neoliberal status quo. I am facing so much pressure from my family to just "sell out" and do something comfortable or something that makes me rich like being a political consultant or a business lawyer. But I would literally off myself if I sold my soul and abandoned my principles like that. On the other side, there are areas that I am interested in and passionate about. But given the inherent obstacles within the capitalistic and imperial system, I feel like I would not be able to accomplish any meaningful change. I've been so weary and cynical about my place in this world, and I wanted to see if any other socialists here have been in similar situations and could provide advice on how to resolve this contradiction.