It took me over 30 years to fully grasp my mother and her NBPD. It’s taken even longer to realize my hero father has truly been complicit and enabling of her abuse.
My Nsister were very close. Best friends. She had it under control for the most part, and I never minced words with her, so she usually didn’t engage in that behavior with me. I became unexpectedly pregnant (real late bloomer) and decided it was best for me to be closer to her (she had just moved cross-country). My partner and I decided that it would be best raising LO there, and she would have her aunt/uncle cousins very much engrained in her life. We were to stay there, and help her transition into her new career by watching the kids. We paid rent, and bills. This was meant to be until we found our own place, but after we got there, housing started to skyrocket, and no matter how hard we worked, we knew it just probably wasn’t going to be feasible with a newborn to afford anything there. My sister later begged us to stay (she had 24/7 child care, and this now is obvious to me as the reason why).
Welp, after about four months, my sister had some sort of internal crisis, and immediately pushed her husband of seven years out of the house. I believe she realized I could take care of everything she needed when it came to the kids, and she was the primary breadwinner, so she found no use for him anymore. After he moved out, she went on heavy drinking benders. Acting like a freshly 21 year old college student, leaving her kids with me to go out and drink all night. She used to be the best mother. So attentive, caring, and present. I watched her completely deteriorate from what she once was. She started dating a terrible person- obnoxious, alcoholic, unintelligent and rude and everything went south. She never had her kids anymore, my partner and I did. I went from being pregnant to essentially having three children at once. She refused to bathe them, help with homework, grocery shop, anything needed. Once the guilt set in for her, she would pick them up, take them on a shopping spree, convince herself that was enough and restart the cycle. She became so nasty, mean, and a horrendous liar. I suffered from horrendous PPA, and immediately sought help. She was nowhere to be found. This caused so much turmoil mainly due to the neglect to her children that I knew we needed to plan our escape. Whenever I’d discuss the possibility of moving near his family, she begged and pleaded, because what was she going to do? Who was going to help her?
My NBPD mother had me fooled for a while. She for the first time agreed with me, and said I needed to get out. My e-dad guilted me for months and months, with what would become of my nieces if I left? How could I abandon them?
Eventually the situation got so toxic, that we secretly finalized plans, and within two weeks of move date- I let her know what was happening. Wrong move. She tried to dismantle, and try to get me to engage in a war so many times. I bit my tongue and reminded myself it was almost over.
The night we packed, she set up cameras around the house, and left to drink with her boyfriend. At one point my partner and I got super frustrated with each other, and we started yelling. We were exhausted, and trying to pack as fast as we could because all signs were pointing to one last explosion. The baby was teething, and I think we just lost it with each other. My sister was baby sitting the cameras, and took recordings and sent them to my NBPD mom and e-dad. All of them started blowing up my phone asking if I needed them to come save me frkm my abusive partner. They said they heard him yelling, and that they were going to make him suffer for it. I was like wtf? 1. It was completely out of frustration and juvenile. 2. It wasn’t even slightly aggressive 3.It was so minor I didn’t even know what they were referencing. (They heard him tell me to “shut the f up”.)
Both my sister and mother were so offended that I turned down their “protection” from him, and told them that nothing was going on. My mom started blowing up his phone, his brothers phone- anyone she could yell at. She got in the car and started driving 10 hours to my sisters. I knew they were trying to get a reaction out of me, but I kept cool and my eye on the prize.
We got out, stayed in a hotel that night, and decided he was going to fly with our eleven month old (i hate flying) and I’d drive the dog and huge uhaul 13 hours- I was looking forward to the silence and decompression time. The next day around five hours into my trip is when my BPD mom started the onslaught. (As soon as my stuff was out of the house- I blocked my sister on everything). She started using my partner as a scapegoat, and fighting on my sisters behalf. She laughed at me, called us losers, and then finally got the reaction she was begging for when she threatened to call CPS for my child, because she was going to take her, and we didn’t deserve her. She said she heard him be abusive and I abandoned my sister, and don’t deserve my child anymore because of it….. I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t understand how she was in full support of my sister being a monster in general for months, and then within two days- completely championing for her. My sister has always been the GC though- I was always always the sibling that called out the toxic behavior and wasn’t scared of either of them. Truth teller? I think that’s it. Five hours into my trip, my phone stopped working shortly after my conversation with my mom ended. I had always been on a family plan I shared with my sister. She paid for that, and I paid for all the streaming apps. It all evened out. I tried placing a call, and that’s when I realized service had been stopped. I was in a giant uhaul with my car towed on the back, with my dog, in a random city- no phone, no gps, and no idea what to do. I drove around for about an hour in a huge city and finally found and ATT store, ran in, told them I had no time and just needed a new plan etc. my mother sat with my sister laughing at me before they shut my phone off. They knew I was alone.
My dad has always been my favorite person. I relate with him far more than anyone in my family- but I’m starting to realize he’s been worse than the Nsister or NBPD mother.
I hadn’t talked to any of them in about a month and a half. My dad didn’t contact me. Normally when my mom did this stuff, he would find ways to sneak talking to me. He would try to convince me to apologize and beg for it. He would agree it was her fault, but he would insist I apologize “so the family could be whole”. “Start the healing” “do you just hate your mother? You know how she is, she can’t help it” “just apologize and it will be back to normal” “if she finds out I’m talking to you she will leave me” My mother had always treated me like a mistress of my father’s rather than her daughter. I was always enemy #1, and if she caught him talking to me- it was a major act of betrayal in her eyes. She had gotten so abusive over it in the past (physically/mentally) that I understood why he had to hide it.
The last month an half has been so hard. My other sister as been distant in order to not get caught in the crossfire of my Mom. my mother spent a month at my Nsisters house coddling her, and watching her kids, and cleaning up after her. I spent weeks crying wondering why my dad hadn’t secretly reached out to even just check in about my child. Yesterday I gave in and messaged my dad. He tried to push the whole viewpoint of my mother- that they heard him yelling at me, and they needed to defend me. That I should think about leaving him. My father said my mother was still very angry and so hurt over what I said after she said she was going to take my child. He said he was going to call me once he left the house and wasn’t around her. Once on the phone, he explained he agreed with me leaving, and that my sister was really spiraling, and my mom shouldn’t be involved in the fight or picking sides/daughters. He said I was going to have to apologize. I’m not apologizing. I can’t do it this time. My daughters first birthday is coming up, and for some reason today,‘I got extremely sad over it and messaged my mother- just letting her know I was open to a conversation and would like if she could come to my daughters first birthday party no matter what her feelings are towards me. Her response was insane, ans made me feel so incredibly stupid for reaching out.
“Sorry to say but we have made other plans so we will not be able to come to her party. But we would be happy to send her gifts and stuff she needs. Just to make this very clear I will not ever be around baby’s father after having to listen to his disrespectful. Sorry arse. His father was right about one thing he is lazy as hell. His words at your shower. If baby needs anything just get in touch with your dad or send me a text. As soon as we receive a heartfelt apology we will be more than happy and joyed to come pick you and Jude up so you can spend some time with us.”
We went back and forth for a while- and she just was so hateful the entire time. I kept my cool, and just tried to tiptoe as much as I could. She kept pummeling on my partner- and then when that didn’t work, it was hat I chose his family over my own. That I was not loyal, and what does it matter if she doesn’t talk to me anymore. I kept assuring her I wasn’t abandoning her for them, and she doesn’t have to feel threatened by , and the onslaught continued. She then started defending everything my sister had done, and adding her own twists on it. I told her it was between my sister and me, and to just stop choosing sides- that she could have a relationship with both of us independently, no matter our status with each other. She didn’t care. She said well, that’s your version of the truth, and you have your new family. She kept hammering the point that no one will love my child or me as much as her. My father has a bad habit of saying that as well. She’s demonizing my partner so much through the entire conversation, and he’s so hurt by it too. He offered to apologize instead of me. He said he could go beg her and plead. It made me sick. How absolutely embarrassing. I won’t allow him to do it. I’m not subjecting him to this anymore. My family has always been good at throwing money at problems. No real emotional care, love, or support- but if you have an issue, need, or want?, they will pay for it- and that’s love to them. My sister has adapted it with her children. My mother favors that sister because of money. She’s successful- has a huge house- and my sister buys her whatever she wants when she’s around. (My parents are well off, so I’m not sure why this even matters to her). It’s always a “well I did this for you! That for you! I paid for all of these things!” Most of the time when my mother gave me gifts, it was things she could hold over my head. Once I got older and had my own money, I know she was bothered by not having that control anymore- so I’m sure watching my sister shut my phone off was a long awaited scratch to her itch.
I found out their plans for my daughters first birthday was going to my sisters house.
I cried hysterically for a few hours- and here I am. I’m used to this behavior from her, so I don’t think I’ll mourn the loss of her in a NC- but I can’t get past my dad. Thinking about how old he is getting, and how this is all a giant waste of time that I could have him spending time with my daughter, makes me physically ill. I’m so scared that I won’t be able to see him again because of my mother, and he will eventually pass. I’m sorry if this isn’t too coherent, I’ve been sobbing for hours, and I’m exhausted. My mother has made it obvious that she chooses not only my sister, but her children as well, and my dad is allowing her to drag him along for the ride. I should hate him for it, but I can’t. It destroys me to think of going NC with him or my other sister. She lives far away from all of us, and is extremely busy so doesn’t really get involved with my mom other than surface level. My mother has apologized to me one time. One time in 30+ years. I have bitten the bullet and apologize and begged her to forgive me every single time since I was a preteen for the sake of my dad. I remember there would be times he would call me crying begging me to apologize to her “to make the family whole again”.
The writings on the wall for NC, but I just can’t bring myself to enforce it with my father or my other sister. She has a bad habit of giving updates and sending photos, so I’d probably have to. I don’t want her getting stuck in the middle of it. TIA for any advice.

I am having the hardest time finding 1/4” steel for the offset I am planning on building. I know a lot of folks use old propane tanks but the only thing I can find anywhere near me is way bigger than I need; thus, way more than I want to pay. I have finally found someone selling some steel pipe in the length that I’m wanting but it’s only 1/8” thick. I live in eastern NC so fairly warm most of the year. Is 1/8” simply too thin for constructing an offset? Thanks y’all.

Theo, Puppy tax
I thought I had fucked up so bad he would need to be washed at 12 months old. Owner-training a PSD is insane and I kept asking myself why in the world did I do this, should I just give him back to the breeder?
He came home with me last year in July as an 8wk old Golden Retriever puppy, so it's always been him and I. We used to live in a basement suite, the landlords tried their hardest to evict me and it took a huge toll on my mental health to the point where I barely had enough energy to survive my current life, and then adding on a brand new puppy during all that. So it was a very quiet life, barely saw any people, and definitely no other dogs.
He was 8 months old when we finally moved out (after winning my eviction case har har) and then suddenly there was people and dogs everywhere. I was still coming out of that blah phase and we got stuck with just his pure excitement and lunging to meet people and dogs. I don't know that "reactive" is the right word, he just wanted to play but doesn't have any manners.
Finally brought on a trainer at 11 months to help us with some of the basic stuff I was struggling with. I almost started to cry when my guy was being incredibly attentive and eager to learn and learning SO FAST- it wasn't that he had any issues, he and I just had too many patterns of bad behaviour we needed to work through. He didnt have that baggage with the trainer.
Fast forward another month, he's a year old. Something clicked this week between us - and he has just been the best listener. We've made SO much progress and he can walk near(ish) people without getting too excited and lunging. It's felt so good, and given me more energy back and I really love him again and I'm so proud and gushing and have renewed hope that even if we don't need public access, he will fully be able to handle it.
And BONUS ROUND - the people around my apartment complex are amazing. I've got a harness with a "IN TRAINING" patch on it, and my neighbours picked up that if we're working together, just please ignore us. And they do, and I've had some say to me they always check to see if he's got his harness on before trying to approach or say hi. And today I was walking near(ish) a kid as a test, and as we approached, the mom told her young daughter "don't look at the puppy, he's working".
There's lots of crappy stuff we see on the sub all the time - so I wanted to share and celebrate some really awesome stuff going on with my guy.

Just when I thought I was moving forward in a positive direction I receive a notification that my exAP has added me on snap. This is after I stupidly broke NC on snap and after some back and forth conversation he said he needed a clean break and unfriended me.
I blocked him and left it at that. 2 days ago I unblocked him, partially for attention but also because I want things to work with SO and I don't need him questioning why I only have 1 person on my snap block list and it's a man.
The next day I receive a friend request, I didn't accept it for my own peace and healing. I'll admit I checked it frequently to see if it was still pending and nearly 30 hours later he deleted the request.
This just opened a bunch of pain again! Do I message him asking why he added me? Do I continue steadfast with my NC.
I feel like an idiot and was sure this high school bullshit had been left in my past

The EveryDay card is my second ever credit card, it was easy to hit 20 transactions when I only had 2 cards. It is a card not often talked about, so I'm going to talk about it now.
I don't use it much anymore, but two months ago I got a targeted offer to upgrade to the EveryDay preferred: $2,000 of spend in 6 months to earn 40k membership reward points, essentially the green card's normal offer, so it's a no brainer to upgrade, keep the card for a year and then downgrade if I so desire. I know some people downgrade and get targeted again.
Now that I have 8 cards, I'm essentially using this card as a gas, groceries, and catch-all for the time being as the 50% boost after 30 transactions means 4.5x on groceries, 3x on gas, and 1.5x everywhere (which on its own are great multipliers!) I can easily hit the spend requirement on my normal catch-all spending anyway without eating into rewards I usually earn on travel, streaming, dining, amazon, etc.
The predicament I am finding myself in is that I don't actually make 30 purchases a month on one single card, so I need to improvise by reloading my Amazon balance with $0.50 to meet that threshold each time the payment clears. I have found this process rather cumbersome and crazy way for me to get those extra points every month. I wish they would make it a personal 2x everywhere or lower the number of purchases required.
https://preview.redd.it/my0g53e9to4b1.png?width=912&format=png&auto=webp&s=06e03bf007bceec91086a739e1932504ef7a9619

So I’m moving to the Raleigh area next week from Maine and people are starting to make me nervous about hurricanes. My apartment complex sent out this document about hurricane preparedness including filling your tub full of water for emergency safe drinking water, and the lady at Duke energy was telling me how I should have surge protection insurance and now I’m wigged out. I’ve lived through some pretty gnarly blizzards where we’ve had no poweheat for days and I drive my Honda civic in two feet of snow without batting an eyelash…
So is it really something to be worried about? Any advice for a rural Mainer moving to NC?

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the lowest ticketmaster will let me set it for is 79.93, this includes ticket and early entry pass (which means u can literally be the first person in the door if you get there super early) pretty good deal considering that the ticket alone is going for around 71$ currently and the early entry pass would cost an additional 25.00. u should be able to purchase my ticket + early entry pass on the ticketmaster website, i have it listed there
Edit: Forgot to mention, this will be for the Raleigh NC event

Hi all, first-time poster here. It's nice to find a community of people I can relate to, because (as I'm sure you all know) this experience can feel incredibly isolating otherwise. Here's my kitty haiku, which was surprisingly difficult to come up with, even as someone who writes for a living lol.
My cat's gentle purrs
Calm my nerves even today
When nothing else will
Not sure if I'm looking for advice, solidarity, or just to vent with this post, but here's the sitch:
I'm currently over one week of not speaking to my uBPD mom, though I wouldn't necessarily classify it as NC cause I don't know if I'll answer or ignore her if she decides to reach out.
I had my first baby a few months ago. I've waited what feels like my entire life to be a mom, and I could not be more in love -- or feel more protective, especially when it comes to my mom.
When I first got pregnant, my husband and I decided that we wouldn't be announcing my pregnancy on social media. I made this super clear to all of my family and friends, and everyone obliged...except for my mom, who took it upon herself to announce my pregnancy on her own social media. I asked her very calmly and kindly to take it down, which resulted in a three-day blowout with cursing, screaming, character assassination, and a barrage of texts/voice notes/voicemails.
We eventually settled it (she took it down and we talked it out) and I let it go.
After the baby was born, I once again made it incredibly clear to my loved ones that we wouldn't be posting my baby online. My husband and I decided on a very subtle hand shot (nothing identifiable/no body or face included) announcing her arrival, and that was the end of it.
Cut to last week, where I stumble upon a story my mom posted (to nearly 20K followers...don't ask) of her and my baby. The pic was shadowed and her face wasn't identifiable, but it was a full body shot and I was livid. Even so, I once again was very kind and gentle and asked her to simply take it down. Once again, hit with character assassinations and bullshit text messages. Only this time, she decided to throw in blocking me online so I couldn't see what she was doing.
Even if my reaction to her posting the story seemed a bit extreme since my baby wasn't identifiable, I feel like I'm not exactly in the wrong. I wasn't aggressive or accusatory, and we've had so many conversations about not posting online. Also, I have a private profile with less than 400 followers, and she has a major platform, so how the heck are my post and her post comparable??? (she tried to claim she thought it was fine since I posted the one completely anonymous photo).
Idk y'all. I don't even know what I'm looking for by writing this. I'm just worn tf out and feel like at some point, enough is enough.

Anyone know of anywhere I can get a free or cheap hot shower while stealth car camping near any NC beaches?

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On my mother.
God, I'm so tired, y'all. I went NC with her shortly after I had my first kiddo (3 now) and have her another chance about a year ago.. it lasted a few months and she hit my kids (who were 2 & 1 at the time) and that was it. I was done. She treated my siblings kids better than she ever treated me, so I thought my kids could at least have a grandma.. nope.
Halloween she drove up in someone elses truck and when I opened the door pushed her way in and I had a massive panic and my kids were horrified. Around Christmas she threatened to let herself in using keys she wasn't supposed to have and my brother said he got them from her but... He didn't. Yesterday she started beating on my door during NAPTIME OF ALL THE DAMN TIMES. And then when I just didn't open the door or say anything she started to unlock my door! When she got to the 2ns lock I ripped the door open and grabbed my keys out of the knob and slammed the door. Then she started threatening to bust my windows out. She called me a lying piece of shit, a coward, and said I didn't have a mother anymore because she was done with me.
She at best neglected me from the time my dad died (when I was 8) until I met my husband and got the hell out of there at 21. Even after that she tried to control me and constantly was asking for money to buy my brothers drugs.
She also kept me away from my dad's family who I have since established a relationship with and they are no where near the monsters she said they were. They're the kindest, most caring people I have ever had in my life. I'm crushed I missed out on nearly 20 years of time with them.
Anyways, I'm gonna go for a restraining order and we are moving as soon as we can to another town. We've changed our numbers and I'm done with stuff like Facebook. I wish I didn't need to be afraid in my own home. I'm just, ugh. My emotions hit me like a train this morning and I could barely get myself out of bed. I've barely done anything fun with my kids, were just having a movie day because I can't even think right now. Bleh.