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2023.06.05 03:00 WhoDat2241 [Homemade] Grilled Buffalo wings
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2023.06.05 02:38 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 50.000$+ INVENTORY. M9 Fade, M4 Poseidon, BFK Freehand, Crimson Kimono, Nomad Fade, Skeleton, Kara Lore, Bayo Autotronic, AWP Fade, Kara Damas, BFK Ultra, Kara Freehand, Kara Bright, M9 Damas, Omega, Tiger Strike, Flip MF, Bayo Tiger, Deagle Blaze, Talon & More
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2023.06.05 02:20 JohnWarrenDailey Full review of Prehistoric Planet
Follow-up to my last post:
An Attenborough documentary on dinosaurs with the same CGI that made The Jungle Book so lifelike? I couldn't think of a greater sell. But was it worth it? Would it give me the same sense of wonder that I felt when Walking with Dinosaurs came out 22 years earlier?
The first episode, "Coasts", is overall the strongest episode of season 1. Starting immediately with a swimming t-rex (Tyrannosaurus rex) leading his children to an island where he smelled a dead archelon (species unknown, as no Maastrichtian-age archelon was ever found in the fossil record), that first scene showed the promise of the show as a whole. Seeing CG baby t-rexes interacting with live-action baby turtles is both concerning (as sea turtles are currently endangered) and entertaining, as they are demonstrated pretty goofily. But after that, we are done with dinosaurs for the rest of the episode.
We cut to the one scene that, while endearing with a riveting soundtrack by power couple Anže Rozman and Kara Talve, does give me pause. The pterosaurs featured in that episode were based on bones so fragmentary that they couldn't be diagnosed. How can we be sure that Barbaridactylus was a member of the antlerwing family, Phosphatodraco a member of the simurgh family, or even Tethydraco a member of the pteranodon family? How do we even know what Alcione even looked like? Also, the score doesn't really match the slower, less urgent movements of the pterosaurs.
The next scene was described as "the sunken continent of Zealandia", which is a refresher to see the lost continent bearing recognition for a change. Here, a family of plesiosaurs (Tuarangisaurus keyesi) comes to the coast to gulp themselves on anti-buoyant rocks, while the males ceremoniously poke their long, heavy necks up to the surface, the only good moment in an otherwise generic sequence.
After a quick focus on coral, we get treated to a Hoffmann's mosasaur (Mosasaurus hoffmanni) relying on fish and shrimp to give him a good, proper scratch, only to be pushed out of turn by a younger male. This sequence sticks out to me because it shows mosasaurs being portrayed as animals, not as monsters to shadow Nigel Marven or kaijuified Blackfish bootlegs.
The next scene shows a dazzling, mesmerizing mating ceremony of ammonites ("scaphitids", they were called, but that doesn't determine specific species, as it was a very huge family). They glow in the dark and mate very particularly. If the male's flashes don't sync with those of the female, he'd be rejected. Complimenting this alien but still soothing scene is Rozman and Talve's equally alien and soothing score.
Back in Zealandia, we end with plesiosaur pod mentality, as the whole group defends a pregnant mother from a kaika taniwha (Kaikaifilu hervei). As with the previous plesiosaur scene, it wasn't a scene that I got too crazy about.
The next episode, "Deserts", isn't really as impactful as the Planet Earth episode of the same name, both in regards to execution and the musical score, and it was riddled with confusing scene decisions. The first scene demonstrates a lek of dreadnoughts (Dreadnoughtus schrani) acting like a combination of elephant seals and frigatebirds, right down to the pops on their necks. The score in that sequence is definitely memorable, as it (literally) highlights the weights that the males take to demonstrate their fitness to attract the gaggle of girls in the audience. Though I'm left wondering--did the upstart beat the veteran because he was stronger, or because he popped one of the veteran's neck balloons, as male frigatebirds would do to ditch the competish?
Once the sauropod show is over, we now move to what was presumed to be Nemegtia, but it was portrayed to be as dry as Djadochta, which leads to the next problem. While there was evidence of Maastrichtian-age velos in Central Asia, calling them "Velociraptor" is just wrong. I grew up watching Walking with Dinosaurs, which means I watched "Giant of the Skies", which featured Utahraptor in the wrong place at the wrong time. And while the American cut justifies this with a demonstration of a land bridge that connected North America to Europe, I don't know how much water that holds, and that doesn't seem to be relevant anyway, for the damage has already been done. So having in Velociraptor, a genus of velos that went extinct 71 million years ago, in Nemegtia, which was set 66 million years ago, is just a rehash of that previous mistake. In short, Prehistoric Planet has Utahraptor'd the Velociraptor. And besides, hasn't the picture of pack-hunting raptors already been discarded?
The next scene, the one with the Nemegtian mononych (Mononykus olecranus), is cute but not top-notch memorable, and its color choice is teetering way close to the point of plagiarism.
Afterwards, the brief but violent rains have created a watering hole in the middle of the desert, luring in dinosaurs and pterosaurs from miles around, including a wandering khan (Tarbosaurus bataar). The reason that scene is so low was that it was just a near-identical rotoscope of the Water Truce sequence from The Jungle Book, right down to the herbivores making a clearing for the khan.
Then we go high up to see more Barbaridactylus. This scene I wasn't aware was a problem until Unnatural History Channel brought it up in his video, but the females were shown to be oddly consensual towards the similar-looking sneaky males, who use their feminine appearances to sneak past the larger, more impressive males. This is a problem, apparently, because the more extreme the sexual dimorphism, the more likely the sneaky male will be rejected and therefore resort to assaulting the females.
The last scene is an interesting one, albeit one that suffered an unmemorable score in the soundtrack. Apparently, salty southern duckbills (Secernosaurus koerneri) can thrive on dunes of gypsum, but when rains hit the coast, they rely on both their tenacity and their know-how of the sky to get to more productive grazing. This scene stands out to me because I question why any large animal would choose to thrive on such a taxing environment. It'd make sense for an animal as small as the cryptile, the scrofa and the gryken from The Future is Wild, but not for a duckbill bigger than 16 feet long.
It is unanimously agreed upon that "Freshwater" is the weakest episode in the first season. Apart from the humpbacked false duckbill (Deinocheirus mirificus) getting a scratch in the swamps of a more accurate Nemegtia and the devil frog (Beelzebufo ampinga) making a snack out of a baby whacktooth (Masiaksaurus knoplferi), the habitat itself has been relegated to the backseat, which is why the mating scene of the t-rex and the laying magnificent simurgh (Quetzalcoatlus northropi) are on the C tier, good scenes that have been damaged by simply being in the wrong episode. Speaking of the latter, memes have popped up in which the faces of dinosaurs have been pasted over two shots of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with either Masiakasaurus or the Planet Dinosaur model of Majungasaurus being Galahad and the Quetzalcoatlus being the French taunter ("What are you doing in Africa?" "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!") when, really, that meme is more applicable to Velociraptor being in the Maastrichtian. On that topic, not only is it STILL in the wrong time, there is another problem, one I didn't pay attention to until Unnatural History Channel brought it up on his video. Instead of showing audiences raptor prey restraint (or "RPR"), the storytellers relied instead on mountain cats to show the velos hunting the pterosaurs (species unknown). Like the Deserts episode, Planet Earth has a far stronger "Freshwater" episode.
"Ice Worlds" didn't excite me as much as "Spirits of the Ice Forest" did, which is a shame, because dinosaurs in the snow is a refresher by default. We start at Prince Creek, which I couldn't ask for a worse place to start because the cast list is very fragmentary. In the opening scene, a pack of raptors (species unknown, though modeled after the pitbull raptor), shadows a herd of ugrunaaluk (Edmontosaurus sp.) for a long-delayed meal. Again, the picture of raptors hunting in packs has been debunked for a very long time now. Why insist on resorting to old cliches?
The Ornithomimus scene (can't think of a vernacular for them), while the designs look cool and add distinction to overall character, is still just a rotoscope of the Adelie penguin sequence from "Frozen Planet". Next.
The sequence with the swanneck (Olorotitan arharensis) is even less impressive. Are horsetails really more nutritious than grass? If so, then why have grasslands been the dominant plains since the Miocene?
The reason the scene with the tro-o is relatively low on the tier list is that it should have been longer, because a dinosaur with the intellect of a fire hawk is a very interesting prospect. But the final scene was just too short and too bland to show off any real gold.
We have spent so much time in the north that I question the necessity of a quick detour to Antarctica, rendering the scene with the polar macahutiul (Antarctopelta oliveroi) my least favorite of the series.
The final scene demonstrates the predator-prey dynamic between the northern boss (Pachyrhinosaurus perotorum) and the nanook (Nanuqsaurus hoglundi). The scene is great, the score has some very rhythmic moments, but what puts it low on the B tier are the nanooks themselves. From a distance, they look as good as most of the others. But in closeup, they look kind of fake, especially when they're running. Which brings up to the next problem--the story is based on fossil footprints of different lines pointing in the same direction. But how do we know that those parallel tracks were made at the same time and not separated within hours, days or even weeks of each other? And while it is true that nanooks were smaller than t-rexes, their portrayals in the show were just too small. More recent consensus shows that one nanook could easily match a boss in size, if not overtop it.
"Forests" is an everywhere kind of episode. The opening scene with the austroposeidon (Austroposeidon magnificus) is not long enough to get me invested.
Then a herd of trikes (Triceratops, species unknown) visits a cave to visit a clay lick to neutralize the poisons from their plant food. But why clay? Why not salt? Herbivores can clearly deal with poisonous plants without problem, but plants lack sodium, which is why the elephants of Mount Elgon (the inspiration behind that scene) scrape the caves not for clay, but for salt.
This next scene has gotten everyone talking. A male minotaur (Carnotaurus sastrei) clears the stage to wave his arms around to impress an impossibly stoic female. Everything about that scene--from the choreography to the score--is very goofy, and that is what makes it work so well.
While it is nice to finally see the Pinocchio-rex (Qianzhousaurus sinensis) in the flesh, its hunt for bright blue corythoraptors (Corythoraptor jacobsi) is not a scene I'd be in a hurry to revisit.
The fire scene is oddly slow, the only memorable moment in the whole sequence being my first official introduction to Atrociraptor marshalli...literally just one short week before Jurassic World: Dominion predictably ruined it.
The scene with the baby Therizinosaurus is passable. While it is cute to imagine babies having a taste for honey, it just wasn't executed memorably.
The final scene, the one set on Hateg Island, slogs on in pace, with the greatest focus being a bunch of odd-looking baby zalmos (Zalmoxes robustus) running and hiding from the real star of the episode, the robust simurgh (Hatzegopteryx thambena), looking more proper than how it looked in Planet Dinosaur. One question, though--weren't pterosaur wings supposed to be rounded at the tip? Sure, they've got the hands pointing backwards, but the pointed wingtips is now believed to be an outdated picture.
So it goes without saying that years of watching a moderate quantity of Attenborough documentaries has made the watching experience of Prehistoric Planet, at least in comparison to the original Walking with Dinosaurs, a bit numb. The creature designs are good, the CGI has not faltered in its photorealism from The Jungle Book, and even the soundtrack has enough of a score to make it memorable. But it's the stories that amount to the overall numbness of the first season. They hadn't opened my eyes in the way that Walking with Dinosaurs did.
When season 2 was announced literally one year after season 1, I had my doubts. Planet Earth 2 came out literally a decade after the first Planet Earth, and the differences in filming technology and musical score clearly show that. Same for the 16 years that separate The Blue Planet from Blue Planet 2. Dynasties 2, by contrast, came way too soon after the first Dynasties, and the end result is sloppy, from the stories being set at the tedious start rather than at the steady prime to the score from the first Dynasties being reused so often that the only episode to have any new music was "Meerkat". So to find Prehistoric Planet 2 come out literally one year after Prehistoric Planet, I was concerned that it'd be as shorthanded as Dynasties 2 was. The opening episode, "Islands", kind of suffered that, but it thankfully wasn't as severe a problem.
The first segment of that episode struck me as odd because the adult zalmo looks weirdly identical to the baby model from last episode.
While it is cool to see the robust simurgh being expanded upon, I personally wish we'd stayed at Hateg Island, where they'd hunt the Transylvanian dwarf duckbill (Telmatosaurus transylvanicus) and not the funky combbill (Tethyshadros insularis).
One of season 1's most recurring complaints is "no crocodiles", which is pretty apt when you consider how diverse they were during the Cretaceous period. So to see the Malagasy armadillo (Simosuchus clarki) at all, let alone stand up against a mahjong (Majungasaurus crenatissimus), is one to remember for the ages.
This next scene is actually pretty interesting, in which we see Adalatherium, which wasn't a true mammal, but rather something hovering closely outside the taxonomic boundaries. It's a long sequence, which is just as well, because this is as new a clade to me now as the cynodont was when Walking with Dinosaurs came out.
As with in "Ice Worlds", a quick detour to Antarctica doesn't seem necessary to me, as the hunt between the Imperobator and the Morrosaurus feels more like a skim.
The last scene in the episode is my personal favorite, in which a male robust simugh stands on a sandbar to do whatever it takes to impress a mate.
"Badlands" stands out in that there are only two settings. The first one is the strongest because of how the Deccan Traps, long reputed to be the co-culprit to the fall of the dinosaur empire, has been repurposed into prime nesting estate for a herd of sauropods (Isisaurus colberti). The journey seems reckless, but volcanic sand is hot and toasty, something that a modern species of dinosaur, the megapode, also exploits as it lays its egg in the hot volcanic sand of the Solomons.
The next scene hasn't fixed on last year's problems, in which Velociraptor is still there and it still hasn't performed RPR--it just kicks an herbivore off a cliff, and that was that.
The nesting Corythoraptor scene didn't interest me, but what really bugged me was that the antagonist of that sequence was a kuru (Kuru kulla), a raptor who, like the pterosaurs on the "Coasts" episode, was based on incomplete, fragmentary specimens.
The sequence with the tarchias (Tarchia, species unknown), is a refreshing detour from the previous sequence because we have a better idea as to what they would have looked like. And to see them slog around for an oasis is a second highlight (next to the Deccan nursery).
This next scene has nothing new added from either "Time of the Titans" or "Alpha's Egg", in which a herd of baby sauropods gets picked on by larger predators on their way to the safety of the forest.
The majority of the "Freshwater" sequences I feel fit better in "Swamps". The same unnamed pterosaurs from "Freshwater" have reappeared, this time trying to fly past an approaching population of alligators (Shamosuchus djadochtaensis).
The next episode features a grizzly bear gathering of austroraptors (Austroraptor cabazai) hunting gar. It stands out as highly as it does because it shows a species of raptor that looks and acts differently from the usual velo or nych. Plus, we know many miles more about austroraptors than we do about Spinosaurus, so that is a relieving plus.
The devil frog stands out in this episode, and to see a grumpy male try to fight off a herd of goavambe (Rapetosaurus krausei) is humorous. It also deviates from the usual picture of "the frog that eats dinosaurs".
This next sequence I was very concerned the moment I saw it in the ads. Thanks to Jack Horner, the poorly-known family Pachycephalosauridae has been under very hot fire with the notion of bone sponginess being a taxonomically viable method of identification, which it really isn't because all amniotes have spongy bones in their teens. But very thankfully, this sequence does not resort to Hornerism. It shows that older males do get longer horns on the backs of their heads, not the other way around. Also, new evidence has shown that the domes may have been covered in shiny skin, so this has me asking--is the dome a boys-only trait? Could that dracorex (Pachycephalosaurus hogwartsia) skull that I saw at the Black Hills Museum just be a girl entering her sweet 16 when she died? Could those stygimoloch (Pachycephalosaurus spinifer) skulls just be those of high school footballers?
"Swamps" ended on a high note with a couple of t-rexes hunting an anatotitan (Edmontosaurus annectens) in the dark. One just walks to the duckbill, and the animal, in its panic, goes right in the direction of the other t-rex in hiding. This perfectly reflects the current understanding that t-rexes exchanged fast running for better walking. Now can we see some duckbills fighting back, please?
On May 26, The Little Mermaid came out in theaters. A day earlier, "Oceans" came out. If I were to choose, I'd stick to the latter, simply because we're treated to fresh new stories with a wider variety of mosasaurs and ammonites than any of the Walking with programs ever did. The scene with the hesperorns chasing bait fish only to have themselves be chased by bulldog fish (Xiphactinus) is a classic, but a good one. However, "X-fish"? What's wrong with "bulldog fish"? But the highlight, no doubt, is the final sequence, in which a Hoffmann's mosasaur killed a juvenile plesiosaur simply by ramming it great white style.
"Freshwater" was weak due to being sorely unfocused. "North America", by contrast, is even weaker for being too rushed. Also, the "scars make the man" narrative with the trikes bugs me the most. What justification is there for that?
This has been a very exhaustive review of Prehistoric Planet, and it's way too early for me to worry about a season 3 coming out, if there is going to be one.
submitted by JohnWarrenDailey to Dinosaurs [link] [comments]
An Attenborough documentary on dinosaurs with the same CGI that made The Jungle Book so lifelike? I couldn't think of a greater sell. But was it worth it? Would it give me the same sense of wonder that I felt when Walking with Dinosaurs came out 22 years earlier?
The first episode, "Coasts", is overall the strongest episode of season 1. Starting immediately with a swimming t-rex (Tyrannosaurus rex) leading his children to an island where he smelled a dead archelon (species unknown, as no Maastrichtian-age archelon was ever found in the fossil record), that first scene showed the promise of the show as a whole. Seeing CG baby t-rexes interacting with live-action baby turtles is both concerning (as sea turtles are currently endangered) and entertaining, as they are demonstrated pretty goofily. But after that, we are done with dinosaurs for the rest of the episode.
We cut to the one scene that, while endearing with a riveting soundtrack by power couple Anže Rozman and Kara Talve, does give me pause. The pterosaurs featured in that episode were based on bones so fragmentary that they couldn't be diagnosed. How can we be sure that Barbaridactylus was a member of the antlerwing family, Phosphatodraco a member of the simurgh family, or even Tethydraco a member of the pteranodon family? How do we even know what Alcione even looked like? Also, the score doesn't really match the slower, less urgent movements of the pterosaurs.
The next scene was described as "the sunken continent of Zealandia", which is a refresher to see the lost continent bearing recognition for a change. Here, a family of plesiosaurs (Tuarangisaurus keyesi) comes to the coast to gulp themselves on anti-buoyant rocks, while the males ceremoniously poke their long, heavy necks up to the surface, the only good moment in an otherwise generic sequence.
After a quick focus on coral, we get treated to a Hoffmann's mosasaur (Mosasaurus hoffmanni) relying on fish and shrimp to give him a good, proper scratch, only to be pushed out of turn by a younger male. This sequence sticks out to me because it shows mosasaurs being portrayed as animals, not as monsters to shadow Nigel Marven or kaijuified Blackfish bootlegs.
The next scene shows a dazzling, mesmerizing mating ceremony of ammonites ("scaphitids", they were called, but that doesn't determine specific species, as it was a very huge family). They glow in the dark and mate very particularly. If the male's flashes don't sync with those of the female, he'd be rejected. Complimenting this alien but still soothing scene is Rozman and Talve's equally alien and soothing score.
Back in Zealandia, we end with plesiosaur pod mentality, as the whole group defends a pregnant mother from a kaika taniwha (Kaikaifilu hervei). As with the previous plesiosaur scene, it wasn't a scene that I got too crazy about.
The next episode, "Deserts", isn't really as impactful as the Planet Earth episode of the same name, both in regards to execution and the musical score, and it was riddled with confusing scene decisions. The first scene demonstrates a lek of dreadnoughts (Dreadnoughtus schrani) acting like a combination of elephant seals and frigatebirds, right down to the pops on their necks. The score in that sequence is definitely memorable, as it (literally) highlights the weights that the males take to demonstrate their fitness to attract the gaggle of girls in the audience. Though I'm left wondering--did the upstart beat the veteran because he was stronger, or because he popped one of the veteran's neck balloons, as male frigatebirds would do to ditch the competish?
Once the sauropod show is over, we now move to what was presumed to be Nemegtia, but it was portrayed to be as dry as Djadochta, which leads to the next problem. While there was evidence of Maastrichtian-age velos in Central Asia, calling them "Velociraptor" is just wrong. I grew up watching Walking with Dinosaurs, which means I watched "Giant of the Skies", which featured Utahraptor in the wrong place at the wrong time. And while the American cut justifies this with a demonstration of a land bridge that connected North America to Europe, I don't know how much water that holds, and that doesn't seem to be relevant anyway, for the damage has already been done. So having in Velociraptor, a genus of velos that went extinct 71 million years ago, in Nemegtia, which was set 66 million years ago, is just a rehash of that previous mistake. In short, Prehistoric Planet has Utahraptor'd the Velociraptor. And besides, hasn't the picture of pack-hunting raptors already been discarded?
The next scene, the one with the Nemegtian mononych (Mononykus olecranus), is cute but not top-notch memorable, and its color choice is teetering way close to the point of plagiarism.
Afterwards, the brief but violent rains have created a watering hole in the middle of the desert, luring in dinosaurs and pterosaurs from miles around, including a wandering khan (Tarbosaurus bataar). The reason that scene is so low was that it was just a near-identical rotoscope of the Water Truce sequence from The Jungle Book, right down to the herbivores making a clearing for the khan.
Then we go high up to see more Barbaridactylus. This scene I wasn't aware was a problem until Unnatural History Channel brought it up in his video, but the females were shown to be oddly consensual towards the similar-looking sneaky males, who use their feminine appearances to sneak past the larger, more impressive males. This is a problem, apparently, because the more extreme the sexual dimorphism, the more likely the sneaky male will be rejected and therefore resort to assaulting the females.
The last scene is an interesting one, albeit one that suffered an unmemorable score in the soundtrack. Apparently, salty southern duckbills (Secernosaurus koerneri) can thrive on dunes of gypsum, but when rains hit the coast, they rely on both their tenacity and their know-how of the sky to get to more productive grazing. This scene stands out to me because I question why any large animal would choose to thrive on such a taxing environment. It'd make sense for an animal as small as the cryptile, the scrofa and the gryken from The Future is Wild, but not for a duckbill bigger than 16 feet long.
It is unanimously agreed upon that "Freshwater" is the weakest episode in the first season. Apart from the humpbacked false duckbill (Deinocheirus mirificus) getting a scratch in the swamps of a more accurate Nemegtia and the devil frog (Beelzebufo ampinga) making a snack out of a baby whacktooth (Masiaksaurus knoplferi), the habitat itself has been relegated to the backseat, which is why the mating scene of the t-rex and the laying magnificent simurgh (Quetzalcoatlus northropi) are on the C tier, good scenes that have been damaged by simply being in the wrong episode. Speaking of the latter, memes have popped up in which the faces of dinosaurs have been pasted over two shots of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with either Masiakasaurus or the Planet Dinosaur model of Majungasaurus being Galahad and the Quetzalcoatlus being the French taunter ("What are you doing in Africa?" "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!") when, really, that meme is more applicable to Velociraptor being in the Maastrichtian. On that topic, not only is it STILL in the wrong time, there is another problem, one I didn't pay attention to until Unnatural History Channel brought it up on his video. Instead of showing audiences raptor prey restraint (or "RPR"), the storytellers relied instead on mountain cats to show the velos hunting the pterosaurs (species unknown). Like the Deserts episode, Planet Earth has a far stronger "Freshwater" episode.
"Ice Worlds" didn't excite me as much as "Spirits of the Ice Forest" did, which is a shame, because dinosaurs in the snow is a refresher by default. We start at Prince Creek, which I couldn't ask for a worse place to start because the cast list is very fragmentary. In the opening scene, a pack of raptors (species unknown, though modeled after the pitbull raptor), shadows a herd of ugrunaaluk (Edmontosaurus sp.) for a long-delayed meal. Again, the picture of raptors hunting in packs has been debunked for a very long time now. Why insist on resorting to old cliches?
The Ornithomimus scene (can't think of a vernacular for them), while the designs look cool and add distinction to overall character, is still just a rotoscope of the Adelie penguin sequence from "Frozen Planet". Next.
The sequence with the swanneck (Olorotitan arharensis) is even less impressive. Are horsetails really more nutritious than grass? If so, then why have grasslands been the dominant plains since the Miocene?
The reason the scene with the tro-o is relatively low on the tier list is that it should have been longer, because a dinosaur with the intellect of a fire hawk is a very interesting prospect. But the final scene was just too short and too bland to show off any real gold.
We have spent so much time in the north that I question the necessity of a quick detour to Antarctica, rendering the scene with the polar macahutiul (Antarctopelta oliveroi) my least favorite of the series.
The final scene demonstrates the predator-prey dynamic between the northern boss (Pachyrhinosaurus perotorum) and the nanook (Nanuqsaurus hoglundi). The scene is great, the score has some very rhythmic moments, but what puts it low on the B tier are the nanooks themselves. From a distance, they look as good as most of the others. But in closeup, they look kind of fake, especially when they're running. Which brings up to the next problem--the story is based on fossil footprints of different lines pointing in the same direction. But how do we know that those parallel tracks were made at the same time and not separated within hours, days or even weeks of each other? And while it is true that nanooks were smaller than t-rexes, their portrayals in the show were just too small. More recent consensus shows that one nanook could easily match a boss in size, if not overtop it.
"Forests" is an everywhere kind of episode. The opening scene with the austroposeidon (Austroposeidon magnificus) is not long enough to get me invested.
Then a herd of trikes (Triceratops, species unknown) visits a cave to visit a clay lick to neutralize the poisons from their plant food. But why clay? Why not salt? Herbivores can clearly deal with poisonous plants without problem, but plants lack sodium, which is why the elephants of Mount Elgon (the inspiration behind that scene) scrape the caves not for clay, but for salt.
This next scene has gotten everyone talking. A male minotaur (Carnotaurus sastrei) clears the stage to wave his arms around to impress an impossibly stoic female. Everything about that scene--from the choreography to the score--is very goofy, and that is what makes it work so well.
While it is nice to finally see the Pinocchio-rex (Qianzhousaurus sinensis) in the flesh, its hunt for bright blue corythoraptors (Corythoraptor jacobsi) is not a scene I'd be in a hurry to revisit.
The fire scene is oddly slow, the only memorable moment in the whole sequence being my first official introduction to Atrociraptor marshalli...literally just one short week before Jurassic World: Dominion predictably ruined it.
The scene with the baby Therizinosaurus is passable. While it is cute to imagine babies having a taste for honey, it just wasn't executed memorably.
The final scene, the one set on Hateg Island, slogs on in pace, with the greatest focus being a bunch of odd-looking baby zalmos (Zalmoxes robustus) running and hiding from the real star of the episode, the robust simurgh (Hatzegopteryx thambena), looking more proper than how it looked in Planet Dinosaur. One question, though--weren't pterosaur wings supposed to be rounded at the tip? Sure, they've got the hands pointing backwards, but the pointed wingtips is now believed to be an outdated picture.
So it goes without saying that years of watching a moderate quantity of Attenborough documentaries has made the watching experience of Prehistoric Planet, at least in comparison to the original Walking with Dinosaurs, a bit numb. The creature designs are good, the CGI has not faltered in its photorealism from The Jungle Book, and even the soundtrack has enough of a score to make it memorable. But it's the stories that amount to the overall numbness of the first season. They hadn't opened my eyes in the way that Walking with Dinosaurs did.
When season 2 was announced literally one year after season 1, I had my doubts. Planet Earth 2 came out literally a decade after the first Planet Earth, and the differences in filming technology and musical score clearly show that. Same for the 16 years that separate The Blue Planet from Blue Planet 2. Dynasties 2, by contrast, came way too soon after the first Dynasties, and the end result is sloppy, from the stories being set at the tedious start rather than at the steady prime to the score from the first Dynasties being reused so often that the only episode to have any new music was "Meerkat". So to find Prehistoric Planet 2 come out literally one year after Prehistoric Planet, I was concerned that it'd be as shorthanded as Dynasties 2 was. The opening episode, "Islands", kind of suffered that, but it thankfully wasn't as severe a problem.
The first segment of that episode struck me as odd because the adult zalmo looks weirdly identical to the baby model from last episode.
While it is cool to see the robust simurgh being expanded upon, I personally wish we'd stayed at Hateg Island, where they'd hunt the Transylvanian dwarf duckbill (Telmatosaurus transylvanicus) and not the funky combbill (Tethyshadros insularis).
One of season 1's most recurring complaints is "no crocodiles", which is pretty apt when you consider how diverse they were during the Cretaceous period. So to see the Malagasy armadillo (Simosuchus clarki) at all, let alone stand up against a mahjong (Majungasaurus crenatissimus), is one to remember for the ages.
This next scene is actually pretty interesting, in which we see Adalatherium, which wasn't a true mammal, but rather something hovering closely outside the taxonomic boundaries. It's a long sequence, which is just as well, because this is as new a clade to me now as the cynodont was when Walking with Dinosaurs came out.
As with in "Ice Worlds", a quick detour to Antarctica doesn't seem necessary to me, as the hunt between the Imperobator and the Morrosaurus feels more like a skim.
The last scene in the episode is my personal favorite, in which a male robust simugh stands on a sandbar to do whatever it takes to impress a mate.
"Badlands" stands out in that there are only two settings. The first one is the strongest because of how the Deccan Traps, long reputed to be the co-culprit to the fall of the dinosaur empire, has been repurposed into prime nesting estate for a herd of sauropods (Isisaurus colberti). The journey seems reckless, but volcanic sand is hot and toasty, something that a modern species of dinosaur, the megapode, also exploits as it lays its egg in the hot volcanic sand of the Solomons.
The next scene hasn't fixed on last year's problems, in which Velociraptor is still there and it still hasn't performed RPR--it just kicks an herbivore off a cliff, and that was that.
The nesting Corythoraptor scene didn't interest me, but what really bugged me was that the antagonist of that sequence was a kuru (Kuru kulla), a raptor who, like the pterosaurs on the "Coasts" episode, was based on incomplete, fragmentary specimens.
The sequence with the tarchias (Tarchia, species unknown), is a refreshing detour from the previous sequence because we have a better idea as to what they would have looked like. And to see them slog around for an oasis is a second highlight (next to the Deccan nursery).
This next scene has nothing new added from either "Time of the Titans" or "Alpha's Egg", in which a herd of baby sauropods gets picked on by larger predators on their way to the safety of the forest.
The majority of the "Freshwater" sequences I feel fit better in "Swamps". The same unnamed pterosaurs from "Freshwater" have reappeared, this time trying to fly past an approaching population of alligators (Shamosuchus djadochtaensis).
The next episode features a grizzly bear gathering of austroraptors (Austroraptor cabazai) hunting gar. It stands out as highly as it does because it shows a species of raptor that looks and acts differently from the usual velo or nych. Plus, we know many miles more about austroraptors than we do about Spinosaurus, so that is a relieving plus.
The devil frog stands out in this episode, and to see a grumpy male try to fight off a herd of goavambe (Rapetosaurus krausei) is humorous. It also deviates from the usual picture of "the frog that eats dinosaurs".
This next sequence I was very concerned the moment I saw it in the ads. Thanks to Jack Horner, the poorly-known family Pachycephalosauridae has been under very hot fire with the notion of bone sponginess being a taxonomically viable method of identification, which it really isn't because all amniotes have spongy bones in their teens. But very thankfully, this sequence does not resort to Hornerism. It shows that older males do get longer horns on the backs of their heads, not the other way around. Also, new evidence has shown that the domes may have been covered in shiny skin, so this has me asking--is the dome a boys-only trait? Could that dracorex (Pachycephalosaurus hogwartsia) skull that I saw at the Black Hills Museum just be a girl entering her sweet 16 when she died? Could those stygimoloch (Pachycephalosaurus spinifer) skulls just be those of high school footballers?
"Swamps" ended on a high note with a couple of t-rexes hunting an anatotitan (Edmontosaurus annectens) in the dark. One just walks to the duckbill, and the animal, in its panic, goes right in the direction of the other t-rex in hiding. This perfectly reflects the current understanding that t-rexes exchanged fast running for better walking. Now can we see some duckbills fighting back, please?
On May 26, The Little Mermaid came out in theaters. A day earlier, "Oceans" came out. If I were to choose, I'd stick to the latter, simply because we're treated to fresh new stories with a wider variety of mosasaurs and ammonites than any of the Walking with programs ever did. The scene with the hesperorns chasing bait fish only to have themselves be chased by bulldog fish (Xiphactinus) is a classic, but a good one. However, "X-fish"? What's wrong with "bulldog fish"? But the highlight, no doubt, is the final sequence, in which a Hoffmann's mosasaur killed a juvenile plesiosaur simply by ramming it great white style.
"Freshwater" was weak due to being sorely unfocused. "North America", by contrast, is even weaker for being too rushed. Also, the "scars make the man" narrative with the trikes bugs me the most. What justification is there for that?
This has been a very exhaustive review of Prehistoric Planet, and it's way too early for me to worry about a season 3 coming out, if there is going to be one.
2023.06.05 01:34 TaraIsAFox Sprouts saved me when I became diabetic and started eating low carb (5 pics)
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2023.06.05 01:31 popcodswallop [WTS] VINTAGE + REPRO • 3 Wild Vacumatics (Firm-Superflex): NOS Parker Vacumatic Jr w/ Stickers Parker Vacumatic Senior Maxima w/ Superflex Nib Kullock Parker 51 Vac Full-Demonstrator •
This week’s slightly belated vintage batch is smaller than usual but features 3 very special Vacumatics: 2 made by Parker and one a 51 reproduction demonstrator! The first is New Old Stock and stickered, the second is oversized with a Superflex nib, and the third is just wild! As always, all are fully restored and ready to write.
ALBUM & TIMESTAMP
Pastable link: https://imgur.com/a/5tymxIg
Condition (n.b.): All pens listed below have been disassembled, cleaned and restored with new sacs/diaphragms installed in the last couple months. Vacumatic fillers are something of a specialty of mine and I take pride in the amount of attention I devote to each. Any dried/coagulated ink is removed from feed channels. All remnants of thread sealant and ossified diaphragms are cleaned away. Threads are meticulously chased. Interiors of barrels are cleaned and polished to remove ink staining and restore transparency. Sections are sealed against leaks using Main Street Pens' rosin-based thread sealant. Each of these pens is guaranteed to fill and write as designed without leaks or other problems. Nibs have been adjusted when necessary to ensure that all lay down a smooth and consistent line.
THESE PENS HAVE NO CRACKS, CHIPS, PERSONALIZATIONS, LOOSE OR MISSING PARTS, BENT NIBS, MISALIGNED TINES, BROKEN/WORN OFF TIPPING, OR THREADING ISSUES.
Line Widths and Writing Samples: To provide buyers with as much information as possible, I have started to adopt the following line width standards: XXF (.1-.2mm); XF (approx .3mm); F (approx .4mm); M (approx .6mm); B (approx .8mm). Nib flexibility is determined by variation (max line width under pressure) and softness (amount of pressure). Flexibility designations based on variation generally run as follows for an XF/F nib: Semi-Flex (approx. 1mm); Flex (1.2-1.9mm); Superflex (>2mm). All line width measurements are taken with a digital caliper but should be considered approximations providing a general guide. Width may vary slightly depending on type of ink and paper used as well as amount of pressure applied. All writing samples are on Rhodia dot paper using Waterman Serenity Blue.
On Filling Vacumatics: Each of the pens with Vac filling systems below is made of celluloid with transparent barrel striations for viewing the level of ink, which is stored directly in the barrel. To fill, one simply removes the blindcap, submerses the nib, and depresses the plunger until the barrel is full.
1. NOS 1947 Parker Vacumatic Junior - Uninked w/ Stickers (Silver Pearl, celluloid, NPT, Vacumatic filler, 14k F nib). This full-sized model measures 5” capped and has the same proportions as a Major but lacks the Blue Diamond on the clip and features 2 thin cap bands as opposed to a single, wider chevron band. This pen is New Old Stock (NOS), apparently uninked, and stickered with original price ($5.00) and nib width (M) sticker as well. But it has been restored with a new diaphragm and filled with water for testing. Single black jewel on the cap and plastic plunger consistent with a 3rd generation Vac. 14k Parker Vac Arrow nib). Since I believe this pen has never been inked, I didn’t take a writing sample for sake of preservation. But a vintage Parker M usually corresponds to a modern F, which is what I designate as a F according to the standards above. If you’d like to buy this pen and don’t mind it being dipped, I’d be happy to test it out for you to confirm its smoothness and writing characteristics. But Parker’s nib-finishing dept was top notch and this one has been preserved as is from the factory. Condition: New Old Stock [N]. But for a touch of drawer to the clip, this pen has the appearance of having just rolled off the assembly line. Nickel-plated trim shows no brassing. Smooth, lustrous finish with no deep scratches or other notable blemishes – scarcely even any microscratches. Perfect color and transparency with no ambering (DETAIL PHOTO). Factory deep barrel imprint and date code are fully legible. NOS Vacs are pretty tough to come by these days and they don’t get much nicer than this one! Price: $270 SOLD
2. 1940 Parker Vacumatic Senior Maxima (black, celluloid, GPT, Vacumatic Speedline filler, 14k Two-Tone XF Superflex nib). This oversized model measures 5 3/8” capped. This 2nd generation, oversized Vac in black features a wide chevron cap band, double black jewels, aluminum Speedline filler, and blue diamond clip signifying Parker’s lifetime guarantee. Most Vac nibs are rather rigid. But once in a blue moon you get a surprise like this one. The commensurably oversized 14k Two-Tone Vac Arrow nib is Super-Flexible, laying down a smooth and consistent XF line that widens to a 4B+ (approx. 2.3mm) under light pressure (see WRITING SAMPLE). Condition: excellent [B]. Gold-plated trim is clean with no notable wear aside from a sliver of brassing on the blind cap tassie and high-point slivers on the arrow of the clip. Celluloid has a smooth lustrous surface with no notable blemishes apart from some pin-sized marks on the plastic here and there and some cloudiness on the surface of the hard rubber section. Additional polishing could possibly remove it, but I wasn’t having any luck and I didn’t want to over-polish. The only other noteworthy issue is some cosmetic wear to the plating on the filler that does not affect function. Good transparency with some ambering but ink level fully visible (DETAIL PHOTO). Manufacturer imprint and date code on barrel are deep and fully legible. Price: $420 SOLD
3. 1990s Ariel Kullock Parker 51 Demonstrator Repro (transparent lucite, NPT, Vacumatic filler, Octanium XF nib). This full-sized model measures a hair over 5 1/2” capped. In the 90s and early-2000s Ariel Kullock was known as a prolific craftsman of vintage FP reproductions and customizations. He’s perhaps best well known for his custom Parker 51s, whose caps he adorned and engraved and whose barrels he offered in an astonishing array of colors and patterns. He also made custom demonstrators. Originally, a demonstrator was a pen made of clear material with cutouts to expose its internal workings. Parker did not sell demonstrators to the public. They were distributed exclusively to dealers, who used them to show the features of standard pens to customers. A genuine Parker 51 Vac Demonstrator is an unusual sight indeed and range anywhere from $700, for the most common, to $1,000s for the rarer ones. Meanwhile, Kullock ceased production of his repro demonstrators years ago, making them harder and harder to find as well. This one was his most ambitious: a full Parker 51 demonstrator for which even the cap is transparent – the latter being a feature Parker themselves never made. The barrel, cap, hood, and blindcap are transparent and turned by Kullock. Pearlescent grey plastic cap jewel is original Parker. Whether capped or uncapped, this pen makes the ink visible wherever it is, be that in the barrel or in the transparent feed. Original Parker filler with plastic plunger. For all the metal parts on the pen, he chose original white metal. Nickel-plated original blue diamond clip, clutch ring, and original Octanium nib from a 51 Special. That nib lays down a smooth and consistent XF line (see WRITING SAMPLE). Condition: excellent [B]. Nickel-plating is clean with no brassing – just some drawer wear to the clip. Celluloid is smooth and lustrous with no deep scratches or other notable flaws. The only noteworthy demerit are some finishing marks on the interior of the barrel in a spiral pattern left over from the manufacturing process. A delightful pen to show people just how a Vacumatic 51 works! Price: $300
Shipping: Pens purchased on the weekend are mailed on Tuesday. Otherwise they are mailed within 2 business days of payment. All pens that do not come with their original boxes are packaged in PVC or thick plastic tubes to protect them in transit. To CONUS locations the following shipping options are available:
New York Customers: For tax purposes, I am now required to add an 8% sales tax on any sale made in the state of NY. If your shipping address is in NY state, please let me know before payment to receive an adjusted total. Discounted shipping is included for NY State residents to help defray the extra cost.
Ordering: Pens are placed on hold for the first person to reply to the thread and PM me with firm request to purchase (no chat DMs please). A request with the words “I'd like to purchase [pen number]” would be best to avoid confusion), to which I’ll reply with payment details. Please note that a message inquiring into a price discount does not suffice to place a pen on hold. If I haven't received Paypal payment within 24 hrs after a hold is placed, then pen(s) may become available to the next person.
Payment, & Guarantee: Payment by Paypal only. All pens are guaranteed to be in the condition in which I've described them. If I've missed something objectionable or the filling mechanism is not fully functional, the buyer may contact me up to 7 days after receiving the pen for a full refund (issued once I receive the pen back in the same condition as sold). Buyer must ship the return no later than 2 weeks after it was delivered to receive a refund. I've sold pens online for over a decade. Please check my past listings here as well as on the classifieds and historical sales forums on FPN (username: Estragon) and FPGeeks (popcod) for some of my previous offerings.
OTHER OPEN LISTINGS:
submitted by popcodswallop to Pen_Swap [link] [comments]
ALBUM & TIMESTAMP
Pastable link: https://imgur.com/a/5tymxIg
Condition (n.b.): All pens listed below have been disassembled, cleaned and restored with new sacs/diaphragms installed in the last couple months. Vacumatic fillers are something of a specialty of mine and I take pride in the amount of attention I devote to each. Any dried/coagulated ink is removed from feed channels. All remnants of thread sealant and ossified diaphragms are cleaned away. Threads are meticulously chased. Interiors of barrels are cleaned and polished to remove ink staining and restore transparency. Sections are sealed against leaks using Main Street Pens' rosin-based thread sealant. Each of these pens is guaranteed to fill and write as designed without leaks or other problems. Nibs have been adjusted when necessary to ensure that all lay down a smooth and consistent line.
THESE PENS HAVE NO CRACKS, CHIPS, PERSONALIZATIONS, LOOSE OR MISSING PARTS, BENT NIBS, MISALIGNED TINES, BROKEN/WORN OFF TIPPING, OR THREADING ISSUES.
Line Widths and Writing Samples: To provide buyers with as much information as possible, I have started to adopt the following line width standards: XXF (.1-.2mm); XF (approx .3mm); F (approx .4mm); M (approx .6mm); B (approx .8mm). Nib flexibility is determined by variation (max line width under pressure) and softness (amount of pressure). Flexibility designations based on variation generally run as follows for an XF/F nib: Semi-Flex (approx. 1mm); Flex (1.2-1.9mm); Superflex (>2mm). All line width measurements are taken with a digital caliper but should be considered approximations providing a general guide. Width may vary slightly depending on type of ink and paper used as well as amount of pressure applied. All writing samples are on Rhodia dot paper using Waterman Serenity Blue.
On Filling Vacumatics: Each of the pens with Vac filling systems below is made of celluloid with transparent barrel striations for viewing the level of ink, which is stored directly in the barrel. To fill, one simply removes the blindcap, submerses the nib, and depresses the plunger until the barrel is full.
3. 1990s Ariel Kullock Parker 51 Demonstrator Repro (transparent lucite, NPT, Vacumatic filler, Octanium XF nib). This full-sized model measures a hair over 5 1/2” capped. In the 90s and early-2000s Ariel Kullock was known as a prolific craftsman of vintage FP reproductions and customizations. He’s perhaps best well known for his custom Parker 51s, whose caps he adorned and engraved and whose barrels he offered in an astonishing array of colors and patterns. He also made custom demonstrators. Originally, a demonstrator was a pen made of clear material with cutouts to expose its internal workings. Parker did not sell demonstrators to the public. They were distributed exclusively to dealers, who used them to show the features of standard pens to customers. A genuine Parker 51 Vac Demonstrator is an unusual sight indeed and range anywhere from $700, for the most common, to $1,000s for the rarer ones. Meanwhile, Kullock ceased production of his repro demonstrators years ago, making them harder and harder to find as well. This one was his most ambitious: a full Parker 51 demonstrator for which even the cap is transparent – the latter being a feature Parker themselves never made. The barrel, cap, hood, and blindcap are transparent and turned by Kullock. Pearlescent grey plastic cap jewel is original Parker. Whether capped or uncapped, this pen makes the ink visible wherever it is, be that in the barrel or in the transparent feed. Original Parker filler with plastic plunger. For all the metal parts on the pen, he chose original white metal. Nickel-plated original blue diamond clip, clutch ring, and original Octanium nib from a 51 Special. That nib lays down a smooth and consistent XF line (see WRITING SAMPLE). Condition: excellent [B]. Nickel-plating is clean with no brassing – just some drawer wear to the clip. Celluloid is smooth and lustrous with no deep scratches or other notable flaws. The only noteworthy demerit are some finishing marks on the interior of the barrel in a spiral pattern left over from the manufacturing process. A delightful pen to show people just how a Vacumatic 51 works! Price: $300
Shipping: Pens purchased on the weekend are mailed on Tuesday. Otherwise they are mailed within 2 business days of payment. All pens that do not come with their original boxes are packaged in PVC or thick plastic tubes to protect them in transit. To CONUS locations the following shipping options are available:
USPS First-Class with tracking for $5Due to the delivery delays that continue under postmaster general DeJoy, I strongly recommend that the Priority shipping option be chosen. All packages will include full insurance (covered by me). Rest assured that a full refund is guaranteed (issued through Paypal) in the event of a lost parcel and you will not have to wait until I receive a reimbursement from the USPS.- USPS Priority with tracking for $9
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OTHER OPEN LISTINGS:
- Sheaffer Juniors and Superflex Moore Shell
- Unbranded BCHR Superflex
- Wet Noodle Dip Pen Customized Wright-Weidlich Simplofiller and Superflex Sheaffer Ring Top
- Waterman Junior
- Superflex Waterman 15 Eyedropper w/ Keyhole nib, Aikin Lambert Capitol Cabinet
- Parker Vacumatic Major
- Salz "Wendy" Doll Head Pen
- Solid Gold Ring Top
- Conklin Enduras, Nozac
- Superflex, Stub Burnhams in Colorful Casein
2023.06.05 01:31 beatupford Burman's spicy garlic gets you Buffalo Wild Wings spicy garlic at home without skimpy wings!
 | submitted by beatupford to aldi [link] [comments] |
2023.06.05 00:49 juicius Conrad review - on-going review and comparison between Conrad Seoul, Osaka, and Tokyo. June, 2023
Our family is taking a trip in June, 2023, from Korea to Japan and staying multiple nights at Conrad and other Hilton properties. We have 4 nights (10 nights total, across 3 rooms) at the Conrad Seoul, 2 nights (4 nights, 2 connected rooms) at Hilton Osaka, 2 nights (4 nights, 2 rooms) at Hilton Garden Inn Kyoto, and finally 9 nights at Conrad Tokyo.
We're on our third day at the Conrad Seoul and I wanted to give my impressions, and if there's interest, I'll update in the comments.
Overall, I am very impressed with the hotel and the service at the Conrad Seoul. We had previously stayed at the Conrad LV and its sister property Crockfords, and while the Crockfords may have had a tiny bit more polish, the service was by far superior to anything we have received anywhere among the Hilton brands.
A case in point, we arrived severely jetlagged and exhausted beyond recent (and far, to be honest... not the most exhausted you've been, but close) memory due to the foolish (in retrospect) flight itinerary I had booked. We flew into Haneda at 4PM after a lengthy but uneventful flight from the US and had planned to see the sights in Tokyo before making a connecting flight to Incheon the following day (morning?) at 2AM. We had intended to soften the blow by taking a shower and relaxing at the Delta Sky Club (DSC) for a few hours after landing but due to a colossal brainfart on my part, exited the terminal before trying to look for the DSC. It shouldn't surprise anyone that the DSC is behind the immigration control, by the terminal.
4PM Japan being 3AM local time, the kids immediately fell asleep into light and fitful and ultimately unsatisfying sleep and that would come back to haunt us later. My wife and I then abandoned the plan to take the Keikyuu line to the city and tried to make the best of it in the airport. Long story short, everyone was extremely tired out.
We landed at Incheon around 5AM the following day and not having anything particularly to do (immigration line was fast), we took the subway to the Conrad Seoul, hoping against hope that they would show us mercy and let us check in at... 9:30AM. The reservation was booked through AmEx FHR and I'm a Diamond member but I wasn't sure if that would matter. But the staff who greeted us at the front desk immediately tries her best to help us. We had booked 3 rooms, 1 for us and 2 for the family who would be joining us. She gave us several options, even trying to find an upgrade for us, even though I stressed that my priority at that time was a room, any room, that would allow us to take a shower. She found an upgraded river-view room and apologized that it was on the lower floor (14). She said if we could wait an hour or so, a higher floor room can be arranged. No way. A room? Done!
She went through all the niceties and the benefits from the FHR and the Diamond status fast and gave us our keys. The luggage was delivered in a short order and we could finally relax. She (DM for name) even noted helpfully that the breakfast was still being served at the Executive Lounge and at the Zest (2nd floor) if we should be inclined to take advantage. No thank you, but kind of you to offer.
She also extended the Executive Lounge privileges to our kids (13 and 16), and everyone at the other 2 rooms. I was hoping for this but not really expecting. She also extended breakfast to everyone.
The room was a deluxe king. It had a day bed/sofa, and a large (looked larger than ours at home, but I didn't measure it or anything) king size bed. The bathroom was pretty roomy and had a bathtub and a glorious shower I'll go in some length to praise later. The toilet was a bidet and enclosed (which, in a puzzling trend, is increasingly not the norm). 2 vanity sink with a large, peripherally illuminated mirror closes out this intro.
For the shower... The temperature is controlled by a separate dial and it gets scalding hot. Don't tempt the hot water god. Gradually work your way up to your temperature. Sprayer want is mounted on a vertically sliding bar and is controlled for the intensity by its own dial. Lastly, there's a rainfall shower head above similarly controlled. Water pressure is extremely satisfying. And what's more, turning on the sprayer and the waterfall does not seem to reduce the water pressure to an appreciable degree, or reduce the temperature of the water. Other hotels put in shower systems with pulsing heads and lights and aroma and all that, but a good shower just requires water to the temperature of your liking and a LOT of it. That's it and the Conrad Seoul has it. I can't tell you how it felt to me luxuriating in that cascade of almost scalding hot water hitting me from above and the side. The bath robe was good, very absorbent, and not heavy at all. I could stay in it all day.
The service at the EL was impeccable. Afternoon tea was not anything special, just some pastries and drinks. The happy hour had more substantial offerings: buffalo wings, beef cutlets, braised salmon, grilled vegetables along with a complement of alcohol, including make it yourself cocktail. But above all, the view was spectacular. The windows run the entire length of the EL and you can take almost the entirety of the Han river (that you can see) from the lounge. The coffee service is automatic, but it brewed very satisfying latte and cappuccino.
El had breakfast and it was an abbreviated service compared to the breakfast buffet at the Zest. I'll talk more on that in the comments if there's an interest.
Now for the negatives... Our room was carpeted and running along the middle of the room, the carpet had detached and there was a noticeable hump. Not so high you could trip on it, but not necessarily what you expect in a luxury hotel. Our room did not have the signature Dyson hair dryer you expect at the Conrad. I know, the horrors. That's pretty much it. Being closer to the ground actually made the river view more intimate, although we missed the stage that was being set up for the music festival on the banks of the river from our relatively lower vantage point.
And now for something substantial. All the rooms on our reservations were kings and were upgraded to the river view kings. Which was fine, We had planned for our daughter to stay in a room with her cousin and for me to share the room with my brother. 2 in a room so the king was ideal. But with my kids being so tired and falling asleep at odd hours, and also, I remembered belatedly that my brother snored, that plan needed a change. So our whole family of 4 ended up staying in the same room. Not ideal for a king.
Talking to the front staff, they agreed to look for a twin room for us for that say and the remaining day, and it was arranged that we would pack our luggage and leave for the day around 3-4PM, and they would prep the new room and transfer the luggage while we were gone. It did not happen. Apparently, a hotel member stopped by at around 12:30, peeked in, noticed the luggage was not ready, and decided on his own that we did not want to move after all. Our 13 year old son was there but he did not ask him (although he doesn't speak Korean). So when we returned from a diner with an extended family around 9PM, we were still in the same room. Maybe in the grand scheme of things, a minor point but we had not fully recovered from our jet lag and the prospect of unpacking and packing again was not something I was relishing. In this trip, we tried to minimize the packing (see 9 straight days at one hotel) because I hate it. I hate lugging around luggage even more.
But in the larger sense, it speaks of a breakdown in communication and a failure to do a little extra (by reaching out to me) that could have prevented a service issue. I happen to think that running a hotel is 90% service (and 5% hot shower) so failing at the service would sour even the most luxurious facilities and amenities.
In the end, they upgraded us to a twin room at the Executive floor for the remaining stays so they recovered quite well (even though it took a little prompting... Conrad Seoul is notoriously stingy on next tier upgrade). We're not getting any extra benefit for being on the Executive floor because we have the EL access anyway but we now have the Dyson hairdryer! Our two other rooms at the 28th floor had it so maybe the lower floors don't have it...
Feel free to ask if there's anything you are curious about. We dined at the Zest evening buffet, ate at Atrio, and ordered a cake from the bakery in the lobby. I used the gym, toured the pool, and used the underground access to the subways and the malls extensively. I'll make a separate post for the Conrad Osaka and Conrad Tokyo.
submitted by juicius to Hilton [link] [comments]
We're on our third day at the Conrad Seoul and I wanted to give my impressions, and if there's interest, I'll update in the comments.
Overall, I am very impressed with the hotel and the service at the Conrad Seoul. We had previously stayed at the Conrad LV and its sister property Crockfords, and while the Crockfords may have had a tiny bit more polish, the service was by far superior to anything we have received anywhere among the Hilton brands.
A case in point, we arrived severely jetlagged and exhausted beyond recent (and far, to be honest... not the most exhausted you've been, but close) memory due to the foolish (in retrospect) flight itinerary I had booked. We flew into Haneda at 4PM after a lengthy but uneventful flight from the US and had planned to see the sights in Tokyo before making a connecting flight to Incheon the following day (morning?) at 2AM. We had intended to soften the blow by taking a shower and relaxing at the Delta Sky Club (DSC) for a few hours after landing but due to a colossal brainfart on my part, exited the terminal before trying to look for the DSC. It shouldn't surprise anyone that the DSC is behind the immigration control, by the terminal.
4PM Japan being 3AM local time, the kids immediately fell asleep into light and fitful and ultimately unsatisfying sleep and that would come back to haunt us later. My wife and I then abandoned the plan to take the Keikyuu line to the city and tried to make the best of it in the airport. Long story short, everyone was extremely tired out.
We landed at Incheon around 5AM the following day and not having anything particularly to do (immigration line was fast), we took the subway to the Conrad Seoul, hoping against hope that they would show us mercy and let us check in at... 9:30AM. The reservation was booked through AmEx FHR and I'm a Diamond member but I wasn't sure if that would matter. But the staff who greeted us at the front desk immediately tries her best to help us. We had booked 3 rooms, 1 for us and 2 for the family who would be joining us. She gave us several options, even trying to find an upgrade for us, even though I stressed that my priority at that time was a room, any room, that would allow us to take a shower. She found an upgraded river-view room and apologized that it was on the lower floor (14). She said if we could wait an hour or so, a higher floor room can be arranged. No way. A room? Done!
She went through all the niceties and the benefits from the FHR and the Diamond status fast and gave us our keys. The luggage was delivered in a short order and we could finally relax. She (DM for name) even noted helpfully that the breakfast was still being served at the Executive Lounge and at the Zest (2nd floor) if we should be inclined to take advantage. No thank you, but kind of you to offer.
She also extended the Executive Lounge privileges to our kids (13 and 16), and everyone at the other 2 rooms. I was hoping for this but not really expecting. She also extended breakfast to everyone.
The room was a deluxe king. It had a day bed/sofa, and a large (looked larger than ours at home, but I didn't measure it or anything) king size bed. The bathroom was pretty roomy and had a bathtub and a glorious shower I'll go in some length to praise later. The toilet was a bidet and enclosed (which, in a puzzling trend, is increasingly not the norm). 2 vanity sink with a large, peripherally illuminated mirror closes out this intro.
For the shower... The temperature is controlled by a separate dial and it gets scalding hot. Don't tempt the hot water god. Gradually work your way up to your temperature. Sprayer want is mounted on a vertically sliding bar and is controlled for the intensity by its own dial. Lastly, there's a rainfall shower head above similarly controlled. Water pressure is extremely satisfying. And what's more, turning on the sprayer and the waterfall does not seem to reduce the water pressure to an appreciable degree, or reduce the temperature of the water. Other hotels put in shower systems with pulsing heads and lights and aroma and all that, but a good shower just requires water to the temperature of your liking and a LOT of it. That's it and the Conrad Seoul has it. I can't tell you how it felt to me luxuriating in that cascade of almost scalding hot water hitting me from above and the side. The bath robe was good, very absorbent, and not heavy at all. I could stay in it all day.
The service at the EL was impeccable. Afternoon tea was not anything special, just some pastries and drinks. The happy hour had more substantial offerings: buffalo wings, beef cutlets, braised salmon, grilled vegetables along with a complement of alcohol, including make it yourself cocktail. But above all, the view was spectacular. The windows run the entire length of the EL and you can take almost the entirety of the Han river (that you can see) from the lounge. The coffee service is automatic, but it brewed very satisfying latte and cappuccino.
El had breakfast and it was an abbreviated service compared to the breakfast buffet at the Zest. I'll talk more on that in the comments if there's an interest.
Now for the negatives... Our room was carpeted and running along the middle of the room, the carpet had detached and there was a noticeable hump. Not so high you could trip on it, but not necessarily what you expect in a luxury hotel. Our room did not have the signature Dyson hair dryer you expect at the Conrad. I know, the horrors. That's pretty much it. Being closer to the ground actually made the river view more intimate, although we missed the stage that was being set up for the music festival on the banks of the river from our relatively lower vantage point.
And now for something substantial. All the rooms on our reservations were kings and were upgraded to the river view kings. Which was fine, We had planned for our daughter to stay in a room with her cousin and for me to share the room with my brother. 2 in a room so the king was ideal. But with my kids being so tired and falling asleep at odd hours, and also, I remembered belatedly that my brother snored, that plan needed a change. So our whole family of 4 ended up staying in the same room. Not ideal for a king.
Talking to the front staff, they agreed to look for a twin room for us for that say and the remaining day, and it was arranged that we would pack our luggage and leave for the day around 3-4PM, and they would prep the new room and transfer the luggage while we were gone. It did not happen. Apparently, a hotel member stopped by at around 12:30, peeked in, noticed the luggage was not ready, and decided on his own that we did not want to move after all. Our 13 year old son was there but he did not ask him (although he doesn't speak Korean). So when we returned from a diner with an extended family around 9PM, we were still in the same room. Maybe in the grand scheme of things, a minor point but we had not fully recovered from our jet lag and the prospect of unpacking and packing again was not something I was relishing. In this trip, we tried to minimize the packing (see 9 straight days at one hotel) because I hate it. I hate lugging around luggage even more.
But in the larger sense, it speaks of a breakdown in communication and a failure to do a little extra (by reaching out to me) that could have prevented a service issue. I happen to think that running a hotel is 90% service (and 5% hot shower) so failing at the service would sour even the most luxurious facilities and amenities.
In the end, they upgraded us to a twin room at the Executive floor for the remaining stays so they recovered quite well (even though it took a little prompting... Conrad Seoul is notoriously stingy on next tier upgrade). We're not getting any extra benefit for being on the Executive floor because we have the EL access anyway but we now have the Dyson hairdryer! Our two other rooms at the 28th floor had it so maybe the lower floors don't have it...
Feel free to ask if there's anything you are curious about. We dined at the Zest evening buffet, ate at Atrio, and ordered a cake from the bakery in the lobby. I used the gym, toured the pool, and used the underground access to the subways and the malls extensively. I'll make a separate post for the Conrad Osaka and Conrad Tokyo.
2023.06.05 00:18 Thick_Mick_Chick M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery
Let me be the first to welcome you to the MotheOffspring, Nurturing/Support, Teaching/Education Resource Network, or? M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery. My name is Sassy, short for Sasquatch. Yes, THAT sasquatch. Are there other kinds?! I'm a HCC (Healthcare Cryptid) here at the nursery. I also teach humans the survival basics of coming across a baby monster in the woods.
Anyhoo, you're probably wondering why Sasquatch are utilized as Labor and Delivery nurses. It's simple, really. We're natural born mothers. You see, we just love babies! We always have! All of that nonsense about whooping, tree knocking and vocalizations that we do in the woods when you guys are camping? Don't get scared! That's just us shouting out to our boys letting them know we have humans in the woods! Humans could possibly have a BABY with them. Now, I don't like to judge based on looks, but those bald human babies are so ugly? They're cute! Poor little things look like they have mange, though. Who would think a bald puppy is cute? Ew.
I digress. So, when it came to the M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery? We were the natural choice. Even though I happen to be female? History tells us that male nursery nurses happen to have the best bonding with our little devils. Well, little devils and whoever else was born that day. Just look at Chewy over there bonding with that litter of werewolf pups born on the last full moon. He's so maternal? He's practically a breast.
Now, all babies are not created equal. Have you ever wondered which monster's baby is the loudest? I can promise you that you'd rather listen to that werewolf pup litter any day over being 5 minutes late with Baby Siren Head's bottle. I had a headache for a week. When Vlad and Countess Bathory had their little undead bundle of joy last month? You'd be surprised how quick a Bigfoot can prick and milk their finger to get a fresh bottle of nutritious blood for that adorable, pale little parasite. He definitely had a healthy appetite, especially if you were B positive. Vlad and Countess Bathory couldn't have been happier. Patient satisfaction has always been a priority for HCCs (Healthcare Cryptid) since day one! We've never gotten below a 5 on the Jack Link's scale of 0 - 5 jerkies. We are collectively very proud of this fact! It's such an accomplishment for Bigfoot and all of Sasquatch kind.
Okay, I could understand why you think we're a little full of ourselves. I, mean, when Sasquatch are the chosen ones to be the top requested HCC? It's a far fall to the 2nd position. Look, we can't all be God's Chosen Ones. Yes, he exists. Yes, he created us. You're getting distracted, again. We aren't all going to argue semantics on what is Creationism and what is Darwinism and all of that. I'm too busy trying to teach incompetent, um cough cough, INTERESTED humans how to provide the most basic care for any creature's neonates (medical term for newborn) that they might stumble across while enjoying hiking, camping, fishing, etc. The priority? The newborn. Additional concerns?
1) MotheFather finding humans around newborn and attacking them.
2) Humans treating the scenario like an episode of "Jack Ass" and thinking it's a good idea to "mess with" the newborn and? Again? Mom/Dad attacks them.
3) Basically? A human breathing will set Mom/Dad off. Most creatures just don't want humans around. They can't be trusted. Sorry, Guys. It's been that way every since you refused to credit Chewy in the '67 Patterson–Gimlin film.
So? Your first reaction, if you see a baby creature? Look for it's parents. If you see them? Run. Run fast. Like, put Forrest Gump to shame kinda runnin'. Those parents don't want you there for any reason at all. Pick 'em up and put 'em down the whole way back down the trail.
If you don't see the parents? Proceed slowly and with caution. Now, don't let everything I've said scare you into not helping a baby monster. They're babies, after all. Please, check on them. Just be aware of your surroundings so as not to frighten the wood creatures which will, in turn, attack you. Then? It's just a bad day for everyone involved.
So? Depending on the woodland creature? You'll want to know what action you need to take to help the baby and? Hopefully? Survive assisting. The first thing you'll want to do is call out/whistle, whatever you have to do to try to get someone's attention. Look around and listen. What do you see and hear? If it's nothing? Again, proceed with caution. If you hear howling, growling, tree knocking, whooping, any of these things? Leave, either their parents are still around or we're there and will then takeover. I know. It's confusing to try to tell when we're tree knocking hoping you have a baby with you or if we know there's a baby around and we don't want you around the baby. Really, if at all possible, just don't mess with the babies if you don't have to. With that having been said? Let's proceed!
As you cautiously approach? Keep making noise letting everyone know you're there. We don't want to scare the life, or afterlife, out of these little ones. They're at their most vulnerable right now. Let's use Chewy's patients today as an example. You traipse along and stumble over a werewolf den. Well, that's not something you see every day. You hear soft whimpering. About 4 or 5 little werewolf pup heads pop up out of the den. How's everyone looking? Is anyone hurt? No? Then check your supplies. It just so happens you were successful fishing earlier. Werewolf pups love fish almost as much as moonbathing and cutting their baby teeth on a human femur. They'll be thankful, the Alpha male and female will be thankful and you'll really be thankful. You get to walk away, karma and limbs intact.
Next? It would be highly likely that you'd come across a wendigo, skinwalker, rake slenderman, etc. besides just a litter of werewolf pups. Try to prepare yourself as much as possible for these encounters. The better prepared? The better off everyone will be. The best part? These creatures won't want your everlasting soul in infancy. Those challenges don't present until adolescence. So? Enjoy the respite for the moment. Now? No matter what the situation? You'll always want to approach with caution and announce your arrival. It's saved not only many a human? It's saved a lot of cryptids as well. Try to have some sort of food item on you that's rather filling. You'd prefer that over them making YOU the food item.
So, as we proceed down the trail, there's a cabin to the left and it's the last house but do not enter, please. The last good hearted Samaritan did and, well, let's just say he had a run in with a girl locked in the cellar who wasn't quite herself. That's probably about the most PC way of explaining demonic possession. Anyhoo, there was bad press for a year and visitors to the park fell off, it just was a big mess. They ended up doing some kind of cybernetic enhancement and now the good Samaritan has a chainsaw for an arm. He's done a great job keeping them all in line. Overall? That was one we got right.
Since I brought up Vlad and the Countess Bathory's bouncing little bundle of bloodsucker? It's important to know that if you are in your domicile, and R.V.'s count, vampires cannot enter without an invitation from you. So, if you are camping in your R.V. and someone comes knocking late at night? Don't answer. If they aren't a vampire? They can come back the next day. If they don't come back? You definitely made the right decision. Now, the problem is? If you encounter a vampire in the wild. Hopefully? They've already set their sights on whoever they picked that night to be their victim. If not? A dropper of Holy Water as perfume on either side of your neck is a nice deterrent. Again, if the little count is there by himself? He's clearly gotten away from the castle. He needs returned immediately. Go to the nearest tree that displays a "break in case of emergency" box. Break the glass, take the bag of beef jerky out, shake it. Every Sasquatch in a 5 mile radius will come running to you. Point the baby vampire out and we'll be glad to take it from there.
Something I should bring up to our do-gooders ready to risk it all: if you can't swim? Don't try to help aquatic creatures. It won't end well. It never does. Little fry just aren't acclimated to landlubbers. Merpups are tough for even us to handle. They get scared, you can't swim, bad things happen. So? If you're determined to help any baby monster no matter where they reside? Take swimming lessons. You'll thank me. Trust me on this.
Don't let the fae trip you up, either. They're mischievous. They'll also try to sneak a changeling in on you if you do bring your human babies to the forest. If you respect walking around fairy rings and respect mother nature? The fae shouldn't be an issue. If you don't? Well, you were warned.
So, what have we not covered? Flying creatures. Yes, they present a challenge even we Sasquatch find difficult. It's hard to assess the needs of a baby that's wrapped in the arms of a mother flying 75 feet above your head. Even though the task is daunting? It's a challenge we'll definitely take on. We just watch and wait for Mom to go on the hunt and we take a peak at that tiny little velociraptor in that nest, with it's mouth hanging wide open, just awaiting a morsel. Now, the Mothman's baby was an experience. Cocoons are just something you have to see for yourself, especially when they're 6 feet tall. It's truly fascinating!
I think that covers everything for today's lesson. Bear in mind, we're beginning the summer season here in the U.S. Encounters are going to increase between cryptids and humans so be aware and care when it comes to our babies. We're aware and care when it comes to yours. Stay safe and Sasquatch on!
submitted by Thick_Mick_Chick to CreepsMcPasta [link] [comments]
Anyhoo, you're probably wondering why Sasquatch are utilized as Labor and Delivery nurses. It's simple, really. We're natural born mothers. You see, we just love babies! We always have! All of that nonsense about whooping, tree knocking and vocalizations that we do in the woods when you guys are camping? Don't get scared! That's just us shouting out to our boys letting them know we have humans in the woods! Humans could possibly have a BABY with them. Now, I don't like to judge based on looks, but those bald human babies are so ugly? They're cute! Poor little things look like they have mange, though. Who would think a bald puppy is cute? Ew.
I digress. So, when it came to the M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery? We were the natural choice. Even though I happen to be female? History tells us that male nursery nurses happen to have the best bonding with our little devils. Well, little devils and whoever else was born that day. Just look at Chewy over there bonding with that litter of werewolf pups born on the last full moon. He's so maternal? He's practically a breast.
Now, all babies are not created equal. Have you ever wondered which monster's baby is the loudest? I can promise you that you'd rather listen to that werewolf pup litter any day over being 5 minutes late with Baby Siren Head's bottle. I had a headache for a week. When Vlad and Countess Bathory had their little undead bundle of joy last month? You'd be surprised how quick a Bigfoot can prick and milk their finger to get a fresh bottle of nutritious blood for that adorable, pale little parasite. He definitely had a healthy appetite, especially if you were B positive. Vlad and Countess Bathory couldn't have been happier. Patient satisfaction has always been a priority for HCCs (Healthcare Cryptid) since day one! We've never gotten below a 5 on the Jack Link's scale of 0 - 5 jerkies. We are collectively very proud of this fact! It's such an accomplishment for Bigfoot and all of Sasquatch kind.
Okay, I could understand why you think we're a little full of ourselves. I, mean, when Sasquatch are the chosen ones to be the top requested HCC? It's a far fall to the 2nd position. Look, we can't all be God's Chosen Ones. Yes, he exists. Yes, he created us. You're getting distracted, again. We aren't all going to argue semantics on what is Creationism and what is Darwinism and all of that. I'm too busy trying to teach incompetent, um cough cough, INTERESTED humans how to provide the most basic care for any creature's neonates (medical term for newborn) that they might stumble across while enjoying hiking, camping, fishing, etc. The priority? The newborn. Additional concerns?
1) MotheFather finding humans around newborn and attacking them.
2) Humans treating the scenario like an episode of "Jack Ass" and thinking it's a good idea to "mess with" the newborn and? Again? Mom/Dad attacks them.
3) Basically? A human breathing will set Mom/Dad off. Most creatures just don't want humans around. They can't be trusted. Sorry, Guys. It's been that way every since you refused to credit Chewy in the '67 Patterson–Gimlin film.
So? Your first reaction, if you see a baby creature? Look for it's parents. If you see them? Run. Run fast. Like, put Forrest Gump to shame kinda runnin'. Those parents don't want you there for any reason at all. Pick 'em up and put 'em down the whole way back down the trail.
If you don't see the parents? Proceed slowly and with caution. Now, don't let everything I've said scare you into not helping a baby monster. They're babies, after all. Please, check on them. Just be aware of your surroundings so as not to frighten the wood creatures which will, in turn, attack you. Then? It's just a bad day for everyone involved.
So? Depending on the woodland creature? You'll want to know what action you need to take to help the baby and? Hopefully? Survive assisting. The first thing you'll want to do is call out/whistle, whatever you have to do to try to get someone's attention. Look around and listen. What do you see and hear? If it's nothing? Again, proceed with caution. If you hear howling, growling, tree knocking, whooping, any of these things? Leave, either their parents are still around or we're there and will then takeover. I know. It's confusing to try to tell when we're tree knocking hoping you have a baby with you or if we know there's a baby around and we don't want you around the baby. Really, if at all possible, just don't mess with the babies if you don't have to. With that having been said? Let's proceed!
As you cautiously approach? Keep making noise letting everyone know you're there. We don't want to scare the life, or afterlife, out of these little ones. They're at their most vulnerable right now. Let's use Chewy's patients today as an example. You traipse along and stumble over a werewolf den. Well, that's not something you see every day. You hear soft whimpering. About 4 or 5 little werewolf pup heads pop up out of the den. How's everyone looking? Is anyone hurt? No? Then check your supplies. It just so happens you were successful fishing earlier. Werewolf pups love fish almost as much as moonbathing and cutting their baby teeth on a human femur. They'll be thankful, the Alpha male and female will be thankful and you'll really be thankful. You get to walk away, karma and limbs intact.
Next? It would be highly likely that you'd come across a wendigo, skinwalker, rake slenderman, etc. besides just a litter of werewolf pups. Try to prepare yourself as much as possible for these encounters. The better prepared? The better off everyone will be. The best part? These creatures won't want your everlasting soul in infancy. Those challenges don't present until adolescence. So? Enjoy the respite for the moment. Now? No matter what the situation? You'll always want to approach with caution and announce your arrival. It's saved not only many a human? It's saved a lot of cryptids as well. Try to have some sort of food item on you that's rather filling. You'd prefer that over them making YOU the food item.
So, as we proceed down the trail, there's a cabin to the left and it's the last house but do not enter, please. The last good hearted Samaritan did and, well, let's just say he had a run in with a girl locked in the cellar who wasn't quite herself. That's probably about the most PC way of explaining demonic possession. Anyhoo, there was bad press for a year and visitors to the park fell off, it just was a big mess. They ended up doing some kind of cybernetic enhancement and now the good Samaritan has a chainsaw for an arm. He's done a great job keeping them all in line. Overall? That was one we got right.
Since I brought up Vlad and the Countess Bathory's bouncing little bundle of bloodsucker? It's important to know that if you are in your domicile, and R.V.'s count, vampires cannot enter without an invitation from you. So, if you are camping in your R.V. and someone comes knocking late at night? Don't answer. If they aren't a vampire? They can come back the next day. If they don't come back? You definitely made the right decision. Now, the problem is? If you encounter a vampire in the wild. Hopefully? They've already set their sights on whoever they picked that night to be their victim. If not? A dropper of Holy Water as perfume on either side of your neck is a nice deterrent. Again, if the little count is there by himself? He's clearly gotten away from the castle. He needs returned immediately. Go to the nearest tree that displays a "break in case of emergency" box. Break the glass, take the bag of beef jerky out, shake it. Every Sasquatch in a 5 mile radius will come running to you. Point the baby vampire out and we'll be glad to take it from there.
Something I should bring up to our do-gooders ready to risk it all: if you can't swim? Don't try to help aquatic creatures. It won't end well. It never does. Little fry just aren't acclimated to landlubbers. Merpups are tough for even us to handle. They get scared, you can't swim, bad things happen. So? If you're determined to help any baby monster no matter where they reside? Take swimming lessons. You'll thank me. Trust me on this.
Don't let the fae trip you up, either. They're mischievous. They'll also try to sneak a changeling in on you if you do bring your human babies to the forest. If you respect walking around fairy rings and respect mother nature? The fae shouldn't be an issue. If you don't? Well, you were warned.
So, what have we not covered? Flying creatures. Yes, they present a challenge even we Sasquatch find difficult. It's hard to assess the needs of a baby that's wrapped in the arms of a mother flying 75 feet above your head. Even though the task is daunting? It's a challenge we'll definitely take on. We just watch and wait for Mom to go on the hunt and we take a peak at that tiny little velociraptor in that nest, with it's mouth hanging wide open, just awaiting a morsel. Now, the Mothman's baby was an experience. Cocoons are just something you have to see for yourself, especially when they're 6 feet tall. It's truly fascinating!
I think that covers everything for today's lesson. Bear in mind, we're beginning the summer season here in the U.S. Encounters are going to increase between cryptids and humans so be aware and care when it comes to our babies. We're aware and care when it comes to yours. Stay safe and Sasquatch on!
2023.06.04 23:51 Bournlo West Coast Professional Wrestling (Local to Global Update)
I am eight years into my LTG, I started it in 1992 and just arrived in the year 2000. My company has steadily grown and I currently and Number three in the world behind WWF and WCW who don't seem anywhere close to closing down. My current reserve of funds stands at just over 3 million so I have to make a couple hundred million more to be on the same level as those two. I superceded WING just a month or two ago so my goal is to get a firm hold on third before worrying about moving up more.
I have been locking in future stars with long term Ironclad contracts. The Rock is 3 years into a 6 year contract for example, while the competition keeps using the older timers. I also just negotiated a weekly TV deal with Sci-Fi so I'm hoping doing a weekly show with one premium event a month should help build more; I got this far running 2 premium events a month only. All the other big companies (NJPW, AJPW, CCML, AAA etc) have gone under.
I just started a child company called Tough Enough Wrestling and have been signing people as soon as they hit the scene, I run those shows on my own network so that they get at least a little exposure. I think my most recent signings were Bryan Danielson, Chris Sabin and Mickie James. I dont currently have a women's division in WCPW but I am beginning to sign women to TEW and have a couple woman on the main roster but currently only as Managers like Lita and Chyna. I also just opened a training school called The Meat Grinder. I'm hoping the school and the new TV deals will help me build more capital to lock in more stars to higher paying longer lasting contracts.
My current Title holders:
World Championship: The Rock (5th Reign)
North American Championship: Kurt Angle (1st Reign)
Light Heavyweight Championship: Steven Regal (2nd Reign)
Television Championship: Taz (1st Reign)
World Tag Team Championship: The Hardy Boyz (3rd Reign)
Television Tag Team Championship: Christopher Daniels & Billy Kidman (1st Reign)
Other Accomplishments:
Wicked West Battle Royal: Chris Benoit (1999)
The Wild Samoans Tag Team Trophy: The Dangerous Ones (Devon & Homicide - 1999)
Child Company:
Tough Enough Wrestling
TEW Heavyweight Championship: The Dynamite Kid (1st Reign & Inaugural)
TEW Tag Team Championship: The Haas Brothers (1st Reign)
TEW X-Core Championship: Zoltan Jr. (1st Reign & Inaugural)
submitted by Bournlo to FantasyBookers [link] [comments]
I have been locking in future stars with long term Ironclad contracts. The Rock is 3 years into a 6 year contract for example, while the competition keeps using the older timers. I also just negotiated a weekly TV deal with Sci-Fi so I'm hoping doing a weekly show with one premium event a month should help build more; I got this far running 2 premium events a month only. All the other big companies (NJPW, AJPW, CCML, AAA etc) have gone under.
I just started a child company called Tough Enough Wrestling and have been signing people as soon as they hit the scene, I run those shows on my own network so that they get at least a little exposure. I think my most recent signings were Bryan Danielson, Chris Sabin and Mickie James. I dont currently have a women's division in WCPW but I am beginning to sign women to TEW and have a couple woman on the main roster but currently only as Managers like Lita and Chyna. I also just opened a training school called The Meat Grinder. I'm hoping the school and the new TV deals will help me build more capital to lock in more stars to higher paying longer lasting contracts.
My current Title holders:
World Championship: The Rock (5th Reign)
North American Championship: Kurt Angle (1st Reign)
Light Heavyweight Championship: Steven Regal (2nd Reign)
Television Championship: Taz (1st Reign)
World Tag Team Championship: The Hardy Boyz (3rd Reign)
Television Tag Team Championship: Christopher Daniels & Billy Kidman (1st Reign)
Other Accomplishments:
Wicked West Battle Royal: Chris Benoit (1999)
The Wild Samoans Tag Team Trophy: The Dangerous Ones (Devon & Homicide - 1999)
Child Company:
Tough Enough Wrestling
TEW Heavyweight Championship: The Dynamite Kid (1st Reign & Inaugural)
TEW Tag Team Championship: The Haas Brothers (1st Reign)
TEW X-Core Championship: Zoltan Jr. (1st Reign & Inaugural)
2023.06.04 23:46 JulianSkies Blackriver Cases - Season 5 “Exotic Pets” - Episode 2 “Night’s Touch”
[ [FIRST] [NEXT>]
Season 5 “Exotic Pets”
Episode 2 “Night’s Touch”
He stares at her as Keya’s voice starts to slowly grow louder “I know you have people who can deal with this. This is supposed to be a priority line, as well!” her tone was still flatter than it should be, it was loud but lacked inflection giving it a false impression of cold anger.
“We have arranged previous protocols for similar situations”
“You can’t possibly be so unwise as to not be ready for nonstandard behavior”
“Please find someone with authority or at least knowledge of the situation”
“Yes I am the-”
“I am very much aware of the limitations of our deal, I am asking about a similar but new situation”
“The chief of an exterminator precinct is calling you because an endangered exotic animal requires some form of acceptable solution. I am calling you despite a clear lack of protocols in this specific situation. I am calling you because I have no real solutions and if there’s one species, one government left in this brahking galaxy that CARES it’s you so please, please give me something, ANYTHING” it was disturbing, incredibly so, to watch her inflection just waver and shift like that.
“Very well, I will put you on speakers” finally a reprieve from hearing a one-sided conversation, Keya sets down her holopad in the table at the center of the couches. Santos comes closer, still with one of the hensa snugly stuck inside his shirt while Orran slowly walks over to look, but he doesn’t sit, still holding the female protectively.
In the screen is another human, she is dressed in a very plain black suit with a necktie that’s been loosened and her short hair is disheveled. Clearly, Keya’s conversation had managed to stress her out. The dark-skinned woman scans her light blue eyes through the three visible people across from the call, her direct sight quickly stopping on the small beast in Orran’s grasp “They’re like tiny panthers” she says, softly
After a few more moments she continues “Alright, call me Janice. As I’ve told your boss” she says, presumably trying to aim her gaze at Santos, which isn’t quite possible through a video call “We might have a good solution. But that’s a maybe on the good solution, depends on if I can call on people here. And we have an okay solution, but that depends on what you’re willing to do, Mister…”
At that, the yotul recognizes it’s his turn to speak “Orran, my name is Orran”
“Mister Orran. So, here are the two possible solutions. The worst of them is to simply arrange a transfer for them to Leirn, but that is not an optimal solution. Not only would it take time, as we don’t currently have the logistic means to expedite transport in official vessels and we do not have the funds to find a quick and safe civilian willing to make the trip, we currently have no ongoing deals with the planetary government regarding fauna returns”
“I’m sure I could find a good transport to get there, ma’am.” Orran interrupts “I got them here, I can get them back if I need to”
“That might be true” the woman on the video continues, waving dismissively as she visibly slumps down on the seat “But we still have no official deals with their government regarding wildlife rescues. We have ongoing negotiations but nothing concrete, so in order to get your little fuzzballs over there we’d need to divert personnel we do not have available at the moment to secure a proper location, hopefully a wildlife shelter or similar”
“I could-” Orran tries but he’s interrupted
“Yes, you could go and uproot the entirety of your life again for the sake of those. Which is what we’d ask of you in this case, the best we could do for this worst-case scenario is some bureaucratic facilitation for your travel.” then she moves closer to the camera and puts her elbows on, presumably, the desk and rests her chin on her hands “But we might have a better solution”
“You better not be about to rope this man into some weird quasi-legal scheme” Santos interrupts “Your track record has been real spotty when dealing with anything at this scale”
Janice sighs, rubbing her eyes as she pulls a holopad off from the side “Yes, yes I know. You would fucking know wouldn’t you, Mr. Exterminator. But no, no, the plan is to take advantage of an ongoing research project to find far safer shelter right here on Venlil Prime.” she returns to her slacked pose as she brings her pad up with her, sharing her attention between the two “There’s a variety of projects researching the possible introduction of new species to this planet to increase the resilience of the biomes near the core of the habitable zone, an offshoot of the Cradle restoration research, as well as a bit of a hare-brained little project researching the feasibility of shipboard pets to increase soldier morale” she offers a hand to the camera “We can have your hensa housed in the facilities of any of such projects. This way we don’t need to redirect any voidborne assets, which as you know are all completely committed to the ongoing war, and you don’t need to give up your life here, Mr. Orran”
Santos turns to watch the yotul, who now has a contemplative look. It was always weird when he realized he could read alien expressions that well, a closed eye with the head slightly tilted the same direction and both ears flat towards the same direction read the exact same way as a human looking upwards in thought, apparently he’d grown accustomed to them very much. “And what would being housed here require, and how would they be treated”
Janice takes a deep breath, and can be seen pulling a second holopad from somewhere offscreen “IF I can make this work, and this is an if because it depends on finding a receptive project lead, for now they’d just be housed in the animal shelters those projects have for their studies. Currently the studies are only observational in how they relate to local species, with periodic medical checkups, being held in a few biome-isolation facilities. Should they prove suitable for the goals, and hell that depends on the projects being feasible to begin with, then they’ll be added to acclimated breeding programs.”
Orran looks down at the heavy female on his arms, then looks back at the screen “And should they not be?”
Janice grins “That’s the trick. At that point the UN will have taken over responsibility for them, and now they have an endangered species on hand and a million and one laws on how to treat them. So they’ll be forced to keep them in a wildlife shelter until they can be safely relocated to their natural environment. Which is something that will likely only happen after the end of the war given how bureaucracy works” then she looks down at the holopads and types something down in one of them “And if the war takes longer than that to end, I don’t think any of us will be around to worry anymore, so”
“Isn’t that a bit pessimistic” Santos adds with a raised eyebrow
“You would be, sitting here in this chair” she retorts
He looks at Orran, ultimately the choice is his, given it’s both his little creatures and his life in the line. The yotul spends a few moments thinking “Then please see what you can do. How long until we have an answer?”
“Hah!” Janice exclaims triumphantly, startling all three “I wouldn’t be in this job if I couldn’t multitask this well. I already have an answer, seems like the local fauna reintroduction project has shown interest. Can’t have only one pestkiller species in the same niche, it seems they want to have some competition to keep populations controlled or something” she still has a wide smile when she directly addresses Orran “If that project pans out, your kitties’ descendants will wind up in a competitive space with ours. But that’s for multiple generations from now, it seems. Currently, those two would wind up in an observation shelter to see how they interact with a population of voidpins as well as how they interact with terran cats. Is that acceptable or should I try to find another project?”
At that Orran laughs lightly “Ooh, nightside? That’d be perfect, most hensa are twilight creatures but nightweavers are nocturnal, that’d be the best for them” he gently caresses the feline in his arms “Hear that Lodestar? You get to have some darkness again”
Janice nods on the screen “Alright, then… Let’s see… Oh, oooh that’s convenient” she is tapping at the holopad “How much time do you need to prepare them for a trip? Would you like to come along for the handoff? CnT Freight -that’s an unfortunate name- seems to have a pickup of carbon in the next town over for us, we can have someone take advantage of the trip and come pick your kitties up”
Santos tilts his head to the side “Carbon? That might be over in Long Cliff if I remember the surrounding towns correctly. That’s almost a two hour trip”
Janice nods “Yep. I’ve sent a message to that project’s lead, they’ll get someone in our already-scheduled resource pickup trip and they’ll meet up with you. But we’re working with already existing schedules so… They should be over there in, let’s see… Fifteen hours or so” she takes a deep breath “So if that’ll be all? I got more calls in the queue”
“This will be enough” Keya’s voice is still weird
And with that the other human unceremoniously ends the call “That’ll be around three claws, Orran” Santos offers “I hope you don’t mind if we wait over here?”
The yotul is surprised, taking a step back “W-wait here? Why?”
Santos sighs “Three things. You already panicked once, and fled an entire planet over it” he gives Orran a side glance, which now that he thinks about it wouldn’t read the same for an alien would it? “Don’t want to risk you panicking again and messing yourself up”
Orran looks sheepish for a moment “Second, I want to have a look outside for some things. This place was the location of something very suspicious a few paws ago and this is the only chance I have to properly look for evidence around here” he gives the yotul a shrug “None of it is your fault, to clarify. I just want to figure out where that nixa came from”
And finally, he stands up and grabs Keya by the shoulders “And third, this woman did not sleep and is five seconds away from a mental breakdown” he lifts her off the ground with great effort, takes a couple of steps to the side and forcibly shoves her into the largest couch “And I want her to try to get a full rest before we need to deal with the delivery, because we will invariably be involved”
Despite the annoyed position of her ears and thrashing tail, Keya doesn’t move from the position she’s been put into “Santos, I’m fine”
“No you’re not, you started screaming an hour into your sleep cycle and never went back to bed. Try to get some sleep, I’ll be here” he turns over to Orran “Yes, I’m taking a bit of advantage of your situation, I’m sorry.”
If the yotul had eyebrows, he’d be raising one of them right now “I take it this isn’t a normal situation. If that’s why you need to stay around it’s fine.” he takes a deep breath “Turns out I owe her, apparently, so consider yourselves guests”
And so they waited. It did not take long for Keya to fall asleep, meanwhile Santos sat down on the couch and started fiddling with his holopad. It wasn't a random distraction, however, as he was reviewing the calls on Orran’s little project. Maybe it was just human pareidolia speaking, but something about the calls had been nagging him. It did eat at him doing this to Orran, however. The man was already stressed out enough as it was, and here he was taking complete advantage of what is essentially a hostage situation so his boss could sneak some sleep during a work shift.
As the hours passed he'd periodically get pulled out of his work as he watched Orran come and go, doing whatever his job was. Turns out an agriculturalist’s job also involves a lot of paperwork, it seems, for the man at some point had three holopads out doing who knows what, presumably data comparison. Himself, he eventually found what his instinct had been nagging him about. All of the calls on those little beasts, aside from the very first, were not made from within Blackriver. If his understanding of comms-codes in this planet was right, and if he wasn’t just seeing patterns where they did not exist, those anonymous calls were all from a number in a nearby town. But before he could start making more connections he heard something he was hoping not to hear. He hears Keya’s breath quickening.
He quickly sets down his pad and, after a bit of effort, manages to dislodge the two alien felines that had decided his lap was the correct place for a nap. Then he heads over to Keya and kneels down beside her, causing Orran to focus on him. “Don’t do anything, Orran” he instructs
“What? What’s going on?” he sounds worried, as he should be
“I was hoping she’d wake up to a normal nightmare but it seems like it’s a bad one again” he stares at his boss, whose breathing is getting faster and faster. She opens her mouth and starts making a noise.
Orran steps closer “Shouldn’t you wake her up?”
It’s now that Keya starts screaming, familiar screams of fear “No, not yet. Wake her up too early and she’s going to be in a state of panic for multiple claws.” Keya’s screams start getting worse as she grabs at the couch and digs her claws in, her legs and tail thrashing wildly as if she were running. And suddenly her creaming stops with a choked noise as she brings her hands up to her chest.
Orran takes a step back as the next stage of Keya’s nightmare makes itself manifest in her noises, a choked scream that brought a chill down his spine, a scream that was eerily reminiscent of the sounds he’d heard in an ‘instructional’ video about the greys a long time ago. “Wake her up too late and she’s not going to have any of her emotions left” the human comments, as the venlil frantically claws at her own chest.
She screams for just a little while longer, until Santos forcibly puts his hand over her chest “Boss, I’m here” he says with an authoritative voice “The only predator in this room is me, listen to my voice” he puts pressure in her chest “You’re alive, listen to me” he lowers his body closer to her “Wake up and listen”
The distressed hensa had been staring up at the venlil from the ground, emitting a low, bassy growl all this time in a sign of worry. But when Keya sits up suddenly they both run back behind Orran “I… Am awake” she says mechanically.
Santos sighs, stares at her for a while, then stands up and offers his hand. Keya ignores him and stands up, looking around the house “Cold bastard woke up this time, eh?”
Santos and Orran watch as Keya ignores the question as she looks around, eyes seemingly staring off into the distance. She finally stops “Yes” and then turns her entire body towards a small desk near the front door, and turns her head to face it.
Santos raises an eyebrow at her motion, and he notices Orran’s tail started lightly thumping on the floor and his body was shaking slightly. He’d seen people getting unnerved at the cold bastard, but he had the feeling that if he were a human right now he’d be sweating bullets. He follows the direction Keya is facing, that was such a blatantly human motion she had performed it was obvious what she intended, and sees something.
“Haven’t seen a proper paper letter in a long, long time” he comments a technical lie, a few seconds after Orran had moved to pick up said letter from the desk and shove it into a drawer. But he had already seen what Keya wanted him to.
“Y-yeah I’m… Still fond of some traditional things” the man says, still looking nervous.
He takes a deep breath. He’d already seen it, in the letter, the mark of three crossed leaves. “Alright… Me and Keya are going to go outside to check something. And when we come back, you’re going to tell me the truth, right?” he stares directly at Orran
“What do you-”
“AFTER we’re back” he interrupts “Because this is either nothing worth worrying about, or you were saved from death by the power of ignorance” but he doesn’t let Orran answer as he and Keya step out into the yard.
He looks around at the yard, already predicting this would be a difficult mission. A physical letter with a familiar symbol, Orran mentioned he had a way to bring his felines to this planet and could use it as a way out, those were carnivores as far as he knew so he had to get food somewhere, and the man had those kept in here since before humanity’s first contact so it wasn’t some cloned meat he was using.
Keya grabs his shoulder and turns him towards the shed, every house in this place has the same general structure, including the shed in the backyard. The two of them start heading over there and study it. Those are wooden windows, closed, barring any sight from the inside and the front door had a lock in it, but it was slightly ajar. He looks at Keya, who seems to not notice his stare, and then gently opens the door.
The light from the outside streams in, and the sight is somewhat heart wrenching. This was, at some point, pretty much a cat house. There were shelves along the walls with nothing in them for them animals to walk about, wooden towers and other acrobatic toys, there were plastic toys scattered around and most tellingly some bowls on the ground. He kneels beside the bowls, there’s a tiny scattering of kibble indicating which ones were likely kibble and which ones were likely water, but they were marked with the same signs as the rest of the toys and furniture, deep marks of a nixa’s claws.
“Here” Keya’s toneless voice calls him out, and as he arrives he finds the proof of what he expected. There’s a rather crude metal box sitting there, full of scratch marks and bloodstains, inspecting it closer he finds tufts of dark fur and… Fabric.
Before he can inspect closer Keya hands him something- A plastic bag “Always prepared aren’t you?” he kneels closer to look at it, it’s definitely fabric, torn fabric in fact, with a fragment of the nixa’s claw attached to it. Gingerly he puts it in the plastic bag, looking at it.
“It is not good for my mental health, but it is useful in situations like those” Keya offers, before turning to the door to leave.
Santos stands up and takes a deep breath. Those calls all came from outside, and everything’s starting to make sense. He speeds up to move ahead of Keya as they enter Orran’s house, to find the yotul sitting on a couch, seemingly staring at something but in truth his eyes were distant in thought. “Alright, Orran. The first question, where did you get food for your hensa?”
Orran nearly jumps out of his skin, before turning an eye to Santos “I… I have an offworld contact. They, uhm… They can get some stuff shipped from Leirn for me”
Santos nods, and sits beside the man. Keya, on the other hand, walks behind him and simply looms over, causing the agriculturalist to shrink “Next question. Who brought you here?”
“It… It was the same people”
He crosses his arms “I’m going to take a wild guess and say that your hensa have suddenly decided that they don’t want to leave the house anymore since a few days, I mean, paws ago, right?”
At that Orran gasps “How did you know?”
He leans back on the couch “Your little ones saved your life, just so you know. Whoever it is you’ve got your trip, and the food from… You still owe them, right? And they’re the kind that comes collect” he’s looking at the ceiling right now
“C-collect? What do you mean?” he can see Orran trembling in his periphery
“Fifty seven of the calls on your hensa were from outside town” he turns his head slightly to give Orran a side-eyed stare “And we figured out where whoever it was dropped a very angry and very hungry nightside predator a few paws ago. You know, at the same point in time where I can only imagine your little friends stopped going to their playground out back”
“Wait” Orran seems frozen “That… That was because…”
Santos shrugs “I don’t know who they are. I doubt they’d like it if you talked, so i’m not asking. I’m just going to ask, how much do you owe them?”
The yotul looks down “Five hundred and twelve thousand credits… But I’ve been paying, I swear-” he grabs at Santos’ arm
“Chill out” he takes a deep breath “None of us are related to them in any way, before you get the wrong impression”
“It should be doable” Keya has brought up her datapad, causing the other two to look up at her “It is possible that I can organize a donation drive able to reach the nearby towns. Coupled with a secondary source I have available it is plausible acquire the amount of credits to clear his debt”
Orran stands up quickly in surprise “Y-you’d do that for-”
“Those people have shown themselves capable of causing serious collateral in their attempts at punishment and have shown to be a threat to the safety of the town.” she continues with a toneless voice “You, also, are part of this town. A group capable of smuggling contraband across planets is not a group we are capable of protecting the town from, therefore, the only measure left is appeasement.” she explains like it was a lecture, causing Orran’s ears to droop.
“The condition of this aid is as follows. You will hand over that letter, as I recognize it is their method of contacting you. You will, also, follow the humans to wherever the delivery will take place and you will only return to this town once I have contacted you to do so and you have paid your debts.” she turns her head sideways to direct one of her eyes at the yotul, he takes a step back cowering from the icy stare in a way Santos could never cause “If they make any further attempts at you, they will not endanger this town”
Santos sighs “Yeah, that looks like a wise choice” he pats Orran gently on the shoulder “I know the cold bastard is a lot but that’s a good plan. We’ll help you out, get your kitties a safe new home and nobody gets hurt”
To say the mood in the residence was soured by the experience was an understatement. And yet they were forced to wait even further in the collective company, Santos gently trying to coax some unrelated small talk out of Orran for the sake of the man’s sanity while he could not keep himself from continually building up more and more stress as he watched Keya silently stare down at her datapad nearly motionless.
Ultimately, Santos breaks the stress spiral by convincing the yotul to prepare for the trip. The lack of clothing articles, he noticed, made packing very much easier than it would be for a human. But a few cleaning articles, the remaining kibble for the hensa, a carrier cage that was uncleverly hidden under the bed and a few more moments spent preparing some travel snacks and there’s a knock on the front door.
Who’s behind the door is a distressingly short little Nevok, sent as the person to pick up the hensa. It took a bit of convincing, but under the cold gaze of Keya the woman eventually relents to allow Orran to accompany his animals, just to facilitate the handoff and to ensure the team’s knowledge of them is correct.
Santos and Keya see the two off, but as they return to the car that had been waiting for them for hours, she stops him. She opens the driver’s seat and points him there, takes the back seat herself and immediately brings out her datapad. Santos looks at the strange car, bites down his lower lip in thought and sighs. There’s no use discussing with the cold bastard.
-^-
[Excerpt from the social site Bleat]
#BadParents - A thread for bad parents with unruly pups
[email protected] - Hey guys, I need some help. The guests’ kids brought some weird candy home, what do I do
[email protected] - What kinna candy, is it tasty?
[email protected] - Does it smell funny?
[email protected] - Try it, it’s real good. I think I know what it is. Your kids are gunna get real loud about it.
[email protected] - hay guys, one of the neighbors broke some of the other guys’ toys and now he has to pay it back. But i’m kinda broke, you know how dad is, so I can’t help out. Can we get a pot rolling here?
[email protected] - Oh dear, think I can just give one of my toys up to make up for it? It wouldn’t be a bother.
[email protected] - I can help out, i’d ask my pups to help out too but they haven’t been listening to me for a while.
[email protected] - Same deal but at least I can get something going, I think the guests here would be up to help.
[email protected] - Oh, oh, I think I can get my pups to help, i’ll help out too. They’ve been trying to do good!
[email protected] - Me and the pups can help out too, they’ve been behaving a lot since last time.
[email protected] - Sorry guys, gotta sit out of this one. You know why.
[email protected] - It’s fine, it’s fine. Only help if you can. And no need, [email protected], just help out with the pot.
---
What? Did you thinking smuggling a pair of little predators off a planet currently ongoing purge across the stars and keeping carnivores fed in a planet where the mere mention of that kind of food could get you killed was possible without the aid of people you don't want to cross?
Sometimes you do what you have to do.
This is the end (mostly) of the "Exotic Pets" season! Thankfully our little hensa get a proper home, and maybe their descendants might help save a planet. This isn't the last adventure involving a pet, however, but the next season "Fighting Fire" might not end quite as peacefully.
Also I know I got zero schedule, never pretended i'd ever have I know myself. But don't expect anything next week, life sure is hard.
submitted by JulianSkies to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]
Season 5 “Exotic Pets”
Episode 2 “Night’s Touch”
He stares at her as Keya’s voice starts to slowly grow louder “I know you have people who can deal with this. This is supposed to be a priority line, as well!” her tone was still flatter than it should be, it was loud but lacked inflection giving it a false impression of cold anger.
“We have arranged previous protocols for similar situations”
“You can’t possibly be so unwise as to not be ready for nonstandard behavior”
“Please find someone with authority or at least knowledge of the situation”
“Yes I am the-”
“I am very much aware of the limitations of our deal, I am asking about a similar but new situation”
“The chief of an exterminator precinct is calling you because an endangered exotic animal requires some form of acceptable solution. I am calling you despite a clear lack of protocols in this specific situation. I am calling you because I have no real solutions and if there’s one species, one government left in this brahking galaxy that CARES it’s you so please, please give me something, ANYTHING” it was disturbing, incredibly so, to watch her inflection just waver and shift like that.
“Very well, I will put you on speakers” finally a reprieve from hearing a one-sided conversation, Keya sets down her holopad in the table at the center of the couches. Santos comes closer, still with one of the hensa snugly stuck inside his shirt while Orran slowly walks over to look, but he doesn’t sit, still holding the female protectively.
In the screen is another human, she is dressed in a very plain black suit with a necktie that’s been loosened and her short hair is disheveled. Clearly, Keya’s conversation had managed to stress her out. The dark-skinned woman scans her light blue eyes through the three visible people across from the call, her direct sight quickly stopping on the small beast in Orran’s grasp “They’re like tiny panthers” she says, softly
After a few more moments she continues “Alright, call me Janice. As I’ve told your boss” she says, presumably trying to aim her gaze at Santos, which isn’t quite possible through a video call “We might have a good solution. But that’s a maybe on the good solution, depends on if I can call on people here. And we have an okay solution, but that depends on what you’re willing to do, Mister…”
At that, the yotul recognizes it’s his turn to speak “Orran, my name is Orran”
“Mister Orran. So, here are the two possible solutions. The worst of them is to simply arrange a transfer for them to Leirn, but that is not an optimal solution. Not only would it take time, as we don’t currently have the logistic means to expedite transport in official vessels and we do not have the funds to find a quick and safe civilian willing to make the trip, we currently have no ongoing deals with the planetary government regarding fauna returns”
“I’m sure I could find a good transport to get there, ma’am.” Orran interrupts “I got them here, I can get them back if I need to”
“That might be true” the woman on the video continues, waving dismissively as she visibly slumps down on the seat “But we still have no official deals with their government regarding wildlife rescues. We have ongoing negotiations but nothing concrete, so in order to get your little fuzzballs over there we’d need to divert personnel we do not have available at the moment to secure a proper location, hopefully a wildlife shelter or similar”
“I could-” Orran tries but he’s interrupted
“Yes, you could go and uproot the entirety of your life again for the sake of those. Which is what we’d ask of you in this case, the best we could do for this worst-case scenario is some bureaucratic facilitation for your travel.” then she moves closer to the camera and puts her elbows on, presumably, the desk and rests her chin on her hands “But we might have a better solution”
“You better not be about to rope this man into some weird quasi-legal scheme” Santos interrupts “Your track record has been real spotty when dealing with anything at this scale”
Janice sighs, rubbing her eyes as she pulls a holopad off from the side “Yes, yes I know. You would fucking know wouldn’t you, Mr. Exterminator. But no, no, the plan is to take advantage of an ongoing research project to find far safer shelter right here on Venlil Prime.” she returns to her slacked pose as she brings her pad up with her, sharing her attention between the two “There’s a variety of projects researching the possible introduction of new species to this planet to increase the resilience of the biomes near the core of the habitable zone, an offshoot of the Cradle restoration research, as well as a bit of a hare-brained little project researching the feasibility of shipboard pets to increase soldier morale” she offers a hand to the camera “We can have your hensa housed in the facilities of any of such projects. This way we don’t need to redirect any voidborne assets, which as you know are all completely committed to the ongoing war, and you don’t need to give up your life here, Mr. Orran”
Santos turns to watch the yotul, who now has a contemplative look. It was always weird when he realized he could read alien expressions that well, a closed eye with the head slightly tilted the same direction and both ears flat towards the same direction read the exact same way as a human looking upwards in thought, apparently he’d grown accustomed to them very much. “And what would being housed here require, and how would they be treated”
Janice takes a deep breath, and can be seen pulling a second holopad from somewhere offscreen “IF I can make this work, and this is an if because it depends on finding a receptive project lead, for now they’d just be housed in the animal shelters those projects have for their studies. Currently the studies are only observational in how they relate to local species, with periodic medical checkups, being held in a few biome-isolation facilities. Should they prove suitable for the goals, and hell that depends on the projects being feasible to begin with, then they’ll be added to acclimated breeding programs.”
Orran looks down at the heavy female on his arms, then looks back at the screen “And should they not be?”
Janice grins “That’s the trick. At that point the UN will have taken over responsibility for them, and now they have an endangered species on hand and a million and one laws on how to treat them. So they’ll be forced to keep them in a wildlife shelter until they can be safely relocated to their natural environment. Which is something that will likely only happen after the end of the war given how bureaucracy works” then she looks down at the holopads and types something down in one of them “And if the war takes longer than that to end, I don’t think any of us will be around to worry anymore, so”
“Isn’t that a bit pessimistic” Santos adds with a raised eyebrow
“You would be, sitting here in this chair” she retorts
He looks at Orran, ultimately the choice is his, given it’s both his little creatures and his life in the line. The yotul spends a few moments thinking “Then please see what you can do. How long until we have an answer?”
“Hah!” Janice exclaims triumphantly, startling all three “I wouldn’t be in this job if I couldn’t multitask this well. I already have an answer, seems like the local fauna reintroduction project has shown interest. Can’t have only one pestkiller species in the same niche, it seems they want to have some competition to keep populations controlled or something” she still has a wide smile when she directly addresses Orran “If that project pans out, your kitties’ descendants will wind up in a competitive space with ours. But that’s for multiple generations from now, it seems. Currently, those two would wind up in an observation shelter to see how they interact with a population of voidpins as well as how they interact with terran cats. Is that acceptable or should I try to find another project?”
At that Orran laughs lightly “Ooh, nightside? That’d be perfect, most hensa are twilight creatures but nightweavers are nocturnal, that’d be the best for them” he gently caresses the feline in his arms “Hear that Lodestar? You get to have some darkness again”
Janice nods on the screen “Alright, then… Let’s see… Oh, oooh that’s convenient” she is tapping at the holopad “How much time do you need to prepare them for a trip? Would you like to come along for the handoff? CnT Freight -that’s an unfortunate name- seems to have a pickup of carbon in the next town over for us, we can have someone take advantage of the trip and come pick your kitties up”
Santos tilts his head to the side “Carbon? That might be over in Long Cliff if I remember the surrounding towns correctly. That’s almost a two hour trip”
Janice nods “Yep. I’ve sent a message to that project’s lead, they’ll get someone in our already-scheduled resource pickup trip and they’ll meet up with you. But we’re working with already existing schedules so… They should be over there in, let’s see… Fifteen hours or so” she takes a deep breath “So if that’ll be all? I got more calls in the queue”
“This will be enough” Keya’s voice is still weird
And with that the other human unceremoniously ends the call “That’ll be around three claws, Orran” Santos offers “I hope you don’t mind if we wait over here?”
The yotul is surprised, taking a step back “W-wait here? Why?”
Santos sighs “Three things. You already panicked once, and fled an entire planet over it” he gives Orran a side glance, which now that he thinks about it wouldn’t read the same for an alien would it? “Don’t want to risk you panicking again and messing yourself up”
Orran looks sheepish for a moment “Second, I want to have a look outside for some things. This place was the location of something very suspicious a few paws ago and this is the only chance I have to properly look for evidence around here” he gives the yotul a shrug “None of it is your fault, to clarify. I just want to figure out where that nixa came from”
And finally, he stands up and grabs Keya by the shoulders “And third, this woman did not sleep and is five seconds away from a mental breakdown” he lifts her off the ground with great effort, takes a couple of steps to the side and forcibly shoves her into the largest couch “And I want her to try to get a full rest before we need to deal with the delivery, because we will invariably be involved”
Despite the annoyed position of her ears and thrashing tail, Keya doesn’t move from the position she’s been put into “Santos, I’m fine”
“No you’re not, you started screaming an hour into your sleep cycle and never went back to bed. Try to get some sleep, I’ll be here” he turns over to Orran “Yes, I’m taking a bit of advantage of your situation, I’m sorry.”
If the yotul had eyebrows, he’d be raising one of them right now “I take it this isn’t a normal situation. If that’s why you need to stay around it’s fine.” he takes a deep breath “Turns out I owe her, apparently, so consider yourselves guests”
And so they waited. It did not take long for Keya to fall asleep, meanwhile Santos sat down on the couch and started fiddling with his holopad. It wasn't a random distraction, however, as he was reviewing the calls on Orran’s little project. Maybe it was just human pareidolia speaking, but something about the calls had been nagging him. It did eat at him doing this to Orran, however. The man was already stressed out enough as it was, and here he was taking complete advantage of what is essentially a hostage situation so his boss could sneak some sleep during a work shift.
As the hours passed he'd periodically get pulled out of his work as he watched Orran come and go, doing whatever his job was. Turns out an agriculturalist’s job also involves a lot of paperwork, it seems, for the man at some point had three holopads out doing who knows what, presumably data comparison. Himself, he eventually found what his instinct had been nagging him about. All of the calls on those little beasts, aside from the very first, were not made from within Blackriver. If his understanding of comms-codes in this planet was right, and if he wasn’t just seeing patterns where they did not exist, those anonymous calls were all from a number in a nearby town. But before he could start making more connections he heard something he was hoping not to hear. He hears Keya’s breath quickening.
He quickly sets down his pad and, after a bit of effort, manages to dislodge the two alien felines that had decided his lap was the correct place for a nap. Then he heads over to Keya and kneels down beside her, causing Orran to focus on him. “Don’t do anything, Orran” he instructs
“What? What’s going on?” he sounds worried, as he should be
“I was hoping she’d wake up to a normal nightmare but it seems like it’s a bad one again” he stares at his boss, whose breathing is getting faster and faster. She opens her mouth and starts making a noise.
Orran steps closer “Shouldn’t you wake her up?”
It’s now that Keya starts screaming, familiar screams of fear “No, not yet. Wake her up too early and she’s going to be in a state of panic for multiple claws.” Keya’s screams start getting worse as she grabs at the couch and digs her claws in, her legs and tail thrashing wildly as if she were running. And suddenly her creaming stops with a choked noise as she brings her hands up to her chest.
Orran takes a step back as the next stage of Keya’s nightmare makes itself manifest in her noises, a choked scream that brought a chill down his spine, a scream that was eerily reminiscent of the sounds he’d heard in an ‘instructional’ video about the greys a long time ago. “Wake her up too late and she’s not going to have any of her emotions left” the human comments, as the venlil frantically claws at her own chest.
She screams for just a little while longer, until Santos forcibly puts his hand over her chest “Boss, I’m here” he says with an authoritative voice “The only predator in this room is me, listen to my voice” he puts pressure in her chest “You’re alive, listen to me” he lowers his body closer to her “Wake up and listen”
The distressed hensa had been staring up at the venlil from the ground, emitting a low, bassy growl all this time in a sign of worry. But when Keya sits up suddenly they both run back behind Orran “I… Am awake” she says mechanically.
Santos sighs, stares at her for a while, then stands up and offers his hand. Keya ignores him and stands up, looking around the house “Cold bastard woke up this time, eh?”
Santos and Orran watch as Keya ignores the question as she looks around, eyes seemingly staring off into the distance. She finally stops “Yes” and then turns her entire body towards a small desk near the front door, and turns her head to face it.
Santos raises an eyebrow at her motion, and he notices Orran’s tail started lightly thumping on the floor and his body was shaking slightly. He’d seen people getting unnerved at the cold bastard, but he had the feeling that if he were a human right now he’d be sweating bullets. He follows the direction Keya is facing, that was such a blatantly human motion she had performed it was obvious what she intended, and sees something.
“Haven’t seen a proper paper letter in a long, long time” he comments a technical lie, a few seconds after Orran had moved to pick up said letter from the desk and shove it into a drawer. But he had already seen what Keya wanted him to.
“Y-yeah I’m… Still fond of some traditional things” the man says, still looking nervous.
He takes a deep breath. He’d already seen it, in the letter, the mark of three crossed leaves. “Alright… Me and Keya are going to go outside to check something. And when we come back, you’re going to tell me the truth, right?” he stares directly at Orran
“What do you-”
“AFTER we’re back” he interrupts “Because this is either nothing worth worrying about, or you were saved from death by the power of ignorance” but he doesn’t let Orran answer as he and Keya step out into the yard.
He looks around at the yard, already predicting this would be a difficult mission. A physical letter with a familiar symbol, Orran mentioned he had a way to bring his felines to this planet and could use it as a way out, those were carnivores as far as he knew so he had to get food somewhere, and the man had those kept in here since before humanity’s first contact so it wasn’t some cloned meat he was using.
Keya grabs his shoulder and turns him towards the shed, every house in this place has the same general structure, including the shed in the backyard. The two of them start heading over there and study it. Those are wooden windows, closed, barring any sight from the inside and the front door had a lock in it, but it was slightly ajar. He looks at Keya, who seems to not notice his stare, and then gently opens the door.
The light from the outside streams in, and the sight is somewhat heart wrenching. This was, at some point, pretty much a cat house. There were shelves along the walls with nothing in them for them animals to walk about, wooden towers and other acrobatic toys, there were plastic toys scattered around and most tellingly some bowls on the ground. He kneels beside the bowls, there’s a tiny scattering of kibble indicating which ones were likely kibble and which ones were likely water, but they were marked with the same signs as the rest of the toys and furniture, deep marks of a nixa’s claws.
“Here” Keya’s toneless voice calls him out, and as he arrives he finds the proof of what he expected. There’s a rather crude metal box sitting there, full of scratch marks and bloodstains, inspecting it closer he finds tufts of dark fur and… Fabric.
Before he can inspect closer Keya hands him something- A plastic bag “Always prepared aren’t you?” he kneels closer to look at it, it’s definitely fabric, torn fabric in fact, with a fragment of the nixa’s claw attached to it. Gingerly he puts it in the plastic bag, looking at it.
“It is not good for my mental health, but it is useful in situations like those” Keya offers, before turning to the door to leave.
Santos stands up and takes a deep breath. Those calls all came from outside, and everything’s starting to make sense. He speeds up to move ahead of Keya as they enter Orran’s house, to find the yotul sitting on a couch, seemingly staring at something but in truth his eyes were distant in thought. “Alright, Orran. The first question, where did you get food for your hensa?”
Orran nearly jumps out of his skin, before turning an eye to Santos “I… I have an offworld contact. They, uhm… They can get some stuff shipped from Leirn for me”
Santos nods, and sits beside the man. Keya, on the other hand, walks behind him and simply looms over, causing the agriculturalist to shrink “Next question. Who brought you here?”
“It… It was the same people”
He crosses his arms “I’m going to take a wild guess and say that your hensa have suddenly decided that they don’t want to leave the house anymore since a few days, I mean, paws ago, right?”
At that Orran gasps “How did you know?”
He leans back on the couch “Your little ones saved your life, just so you know. Whoever it is you’ve got your trip, and the food from… You still owe them, right? And they’re the kind that comes collect” he’s looking at the ceiling right now
“C-collect? What do you mean?” he can see Orran trembling in his periphery
“Fifty seven of the calls on your hensa were from outside town” he turns his head slightly to give Orran a side-eyed stare “And we figured out where whoever it was dropped a very angry and very hungry nightside predator a few paws ago. You know, at the same point in time where I can only imagine your little friends stopped going to their playground out back”
“Wait” Orran seems frozen “That… That was because…”
Santos shrugs “I don’t know who they are. I doubt they’d like it if you talked, so i’m not asking. I’m just going to ask, how much do you owe them?”
The yotul looks down “Five hundred and twelve thousand credits… But I’ve been paying, I swear-” he grabs at Santos’ arm
“Chill out” he takes a deep breath “None of us are related to them in any way, before you get the wrong impression”
“It should be doable” Keya has brought up her datapad, causing the other two to look up at her “It is possible that I can organize a donation drive able to reach the nearby towns. Coupled with a secondary source I have available it is plausible acquire the amount of credits to clear his debt”
Orran stands up quickly in surprise “Y-you’d do that for-”
“Those people have shown themselves capable of causing serious collateral in their attempts at punishment and have shown to be a threat to the safety of the town.” she continues with a toneless voice “You, also, are part of this town. A group capable of smuggling contraband across planets is not a group we are capable of protecting the town from, therefore, the only measure left is appeasement.” she explains like it was a lecture, causing Orran’s ears to droop.
“The condition of this aid is as follows. You will hand over that letter, as I recognize it is their method of contacting you. You will, also, follow the humans to wherever the delivery will take place and you will only return to this town once I have contacted you to do so and you have paid your debts.” she turns her head sideways to direct one of her eyes at the yotul, he takes a step back cowering from the icy stare in a way Santos could never cause “If they make any further attempts at you, they will not endanger this town”
Santos sighs “Yeah, that looks like a wise choice” he pats Orran gently on the shoulder “I know the cold bastard is a lot but that’s a good plan. We’ll help you out, get your kitties a safe new home and nobody gets hurt”
To say the mood in the residence was soured by the experience was an understatement. And yet they were forced to wait even further in the collective company, Santos gently trying to coax some unrelated small talk out of Orran for the sake of the man’s sanity while he could not keep himself from continually building up more and more stress as he watched Keya silently stare down at her datapad nearly motionless.
Ultimately, Santos breaks the stress spiral by convincing the yotul to prepare for the trip. The lack of clothing articles, he noticed, made packing very much easier than it would be for a human. But a few cleaning articles, the remaining kibble for the hensa, a carrier cage that was uncleverly hidden under the bed and a few more moments spent preparing some travel snacks and there’s a knock on the front door.
Who’s behind the door is a distressingly short little Nevok, sent as the person to pick up the hensa. It took a bit of convincing, but under the cold gaze of Keya the woman eventually relents to allow Orran to accompany his animals, just to facilitate the handoff and to ensure the team’s knowledge of them is correct.
Santos and Keya see the two off, but as they return to the car that had been waiting for them for hours, she stops him. She opens the driver’s seat and points him there, takes the back seat herself and immediately brings out her datapad. Santos looks at the strange car, bites down his lower lip in thought and sighs. There’s no use discussing with the cold bastard.
-^-
[Excerpt from the social site Bleat]
#BadParents - A thread for bad parents with unruly pups
[email protected] - Hey guys, I need some help. The guests’ kids brought some weird candy home, what do I do
[email protected] - What kinna candy, is it tasty?
[email protected] - Does it smell funny?
[email protected] - Try it, it’s real good. I think I know what it is. Your kids are gunna get real loud about it.
[email protected] - hay guys, one of the neighbors broke some of the other guys’ toys and now he has to pay it back. But i’m kinda broke, you know how dad is, so I can’t help out. Can we get a pot rolling here?
[email protected] - Oh dear, think I can just give one of my toys up to make up for it? It wouldn’t be a bother.
[email protected] - I can help out, i’d ask my pups to help out too but they haven’t been listening to me for a while.
[email protected] - Same deal but at least I can get something going, I think the guests here would be up to help.
[email protected] - Oh, oh, I think I can get my pups to help, i’ll help out too. They’ve been trying to do good!
[email protected] - Me and the pups can help out too, they’ve been behaving a lot since last time.
[email protected] - Sorry guys, gotta sit out of this one. You know why.
[email protected] - It’s fine, it’s fine. Only help if you can. And no need, [email protected], just help out with the pot.
---
What? Did you thinking smuggling a pair of little predators off a planet currently ongoing purge across the stars and keeping carnivores fed in a planet where the mere mention of that kind of food could get you killed was possible without the aid of people you don't want to cross?
Sometimes you do what you have to do.
This is the end (mostly) of the "Exotic Pets" season! Thankfully our little hensa get a proper home, and maybe their descendants might help save a planet. This isn't the last adventure involving a pet, however, but the next season "Fighting Fire" might not end quite as peacefully.
Also I know I got zero schedule, never pretended i'd ever have I know myself. But don't expect anything next week, life sure is hard.
2023.06.04 23:29 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 50.000$+ INVENTORY. M9 Fade, M4 Poseidon, BFK Freehand, Crimson Kimono, Nomad Fade, Skeleton, Kara Lore, Bayo Autotronic, AWP Fade, Kara Damas, BFK Ultra, Kara Freehand, Kara Bright, M9 Damas, Omega, Tiger Strike, Flip MF, Bayo Tiger, Deagle Blaze, Talon & More
Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory
Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.
All Buyouts are listed in cash value.
KNIVES
★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500
★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822
★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616
⎯★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300
★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050
★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629
★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326
★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233
⎯★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110
★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840
★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784
★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759
⎯★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751
⎯★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156
★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544
★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318
⎯★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646
★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574
★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552
★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257
★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255
★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287
⎯★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461
★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436
★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353
★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212
★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123
★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375
★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363
★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269
★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192
★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159
★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126
⎯★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616
★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412
★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227
⎯★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214
★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192
★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105
⎯★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216
★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198
★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111
⎯★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368
★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228
★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201
★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108
★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105
★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99
★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85
⎯★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700
★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223
★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203
★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191
★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138
★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111
⎯★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146
★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168
⎯★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476
★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375
⎯★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137
★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608
★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305
★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97
GLOVES
★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204
★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
⎯★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215
★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137
★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75
⎯★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359
★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229
★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77
★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48
⎯★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739
★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733
★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292
⎯★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212
★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160
★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101
⎯★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59
⎯★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62
WEAPONS
AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130
AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70
AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72
⎯AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55
⎯Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623
Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54
⎯M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434
StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55
⎯M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465
M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55
M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50
⎯USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72
USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69
StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139
⎯AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234
P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147
Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61
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2023.06.04 23:23 Thick_Mick_Chick M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery
Let me be the first to welcome you to the MotheOffspring, Nurturing/Support, Teaching/Education Resource Network, or? M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery. My name is Sassy, short for Sasquatch. Yes, THAT sasquatch. Are there other kinds?! I'm a HCC (Healthcare Cryptid) here at the nursery. I also teach humans the survival basics of coming across a baby monster in the woods.
Anyhoo, you're probably wondering why Sasquatch are utilized as Labor and Delivery nurses. It's simple, really. We're natural born mothers. You see, we just love babies! We always have! All of that nonsense about whooping, tree knocking and vocalizations that we do in the woods when you guys are camping? Don't get scared! That's just us shouting out to our boys letting them know we have humans in the woods! Humans could possibly have a BABY with them. Now, I don't like to judge based on looks, but those bald human babies are so ugly? They're cute! Poor little things look like they have mange, though. Who would think a bald puppy is cute? Ew.
I digress. So, when it came to the M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery? We were the natural choice. Even though I happen to be female? History tells us that male nursery nurses happen to have the best bonding with our little devils. Well, little devils and whoever else was born that day. Just look at Chewy over there bonding with that litter of werewolf pups born on the last full moon. He's so maternal? He's practically a breast.
Now, all babies are not created equal. Have you ever wondered which monster's baby is the loudest? I can promise you that you'd rather listen to that werewolf pup litter any day over being 5 minutes late with Baby Siren Head's bottle. I had a headache for a week. When Vlad and Countess Bathory had their little undead bundle of joy last month? You'd be surprised how quick a Bigfoot can prick and milk their finger to get a fresh bottle of nutritious blood for that adorable, pale little parasite. He definitely had a healthy appetite, especially if you were B positive. Vlad and Countess Bathory couldn't have been happier. Patient satisfaction has always been a priority for HCCs (Healthcare Cryptid) since day one! We've never gotten below a 5 on the Jack Link's scale of 0 - 5 jerkies. We are collectively very proud of this fact! It's such an accomplishment for Bigfoot and all of Sasquatch kind.
Okay, I could understand why you think we're a little full of ourselves. I, mean, when Sasquatch are the chosen ones to be the top requested HCC? It's a far fall to the 2nd position. Look, we can't all be God's Chosen Ones. Yes, he exists. Yes, he created us. You're getting distracted, again. We aren't all going to argue semantics on what is Creationism and what is Darwinism and all of that. I'm too busy trying to teach incompetent, um cough cough, INTERESTED humans how to provide the most basic care for any creature's neonates (medical term for newborn) that they might stumble across while enjoying hiking, camping, fishing, etc. The priority? The newborn. Additional concerns?
1) MotheFather finding humans around newborn and attacking them.
2) Humans treating the scenario like an episode of "Jack Ass" and thinking it's a good idea to "mess with" the newborn and? Again? Mom/Dad attacks them.
3) Basically? A human breathing will set Mom/Dad off. Most creatures just don't want humans around. They can't be trusted. Sorry, Guys. It's been that way every since you refused to credit Chewy in the '67 Patterson–Gimlin film.
So? Your first reaction, if you see a baby creature? Look for it's parents. If you see them? Run. Run fast. Like, put Forrest Gump to shame kinda runnin'. Those parents don't want you there for any reason at all. Pick 'em up and put 'em down the whole way back down the trail.
If you don't see the parents? Proceed slowly and with caution. Now, don't let everything I've said scare you into not helping a baby monster. They're babies, after all. Please, check on them. Just be aware of your surroundings so as not to frighten the wood creatures which will, in turn, attack you. Then? It's just a bad day for everyone involved.
So? Depending on the woodland creature? You'll want to know what action you need to take to help the baby and? Hopefully? Survive assisting. The first thing you'll want to do is call out/whistle, whatever you have to do to try to get someone's attention. Look around and listen. What do you see and hear? If it's nothing? Again, proceed with caution. If you hear howling, growling, tree knocking, whooping, any of these things? Leave, either their parents are still around or we're there and will then takeover. I know. It's confusing to try to tell when we're tree knocking hoping you have a baby with you or if we know there's a baby around and we don't want you around the baby. Really, if at all possible, just don't mess with the babies if you don't have to. With that having been said? Let's proceed!
As you cautiously approach? Keep making noise letting everyone know you're there. We don't want to scare the life, or afterlife, out of these little ones. They're at their most vulnerable right now. Let's use Chewy's patients today as an example. You traipse along and stumble over a werewolf den. Well, that's not something you see every day. You hear soft whimpering. About 4 or 5 little werewolf pup heads pop up out of the den. How's everyone looking? Is anyone hurt? No? Then check your supplies. It just so happens you were successful fishing earlier. Werewolf pups love fish almost as much as moonbathing and cutting their baby teeth on a human femur. They'll be thankful, the Alpha male and female will be thankful and you'll really be thankful. You get to walk away, karma and limbs intact.
Next? It would be highly likely that you'd come across a wendigo, skinwalker, rake slenderman, etc. besides just a litter of werewolf pups. Try to prepare yourself as much as possible for these encounters. The better prepared? The better off everyone will be. The best part? These creatures won't want your everlasting soul in infancy. Those challenges don't present until adolescence. So? Enjoy the respite for the moment. Now? No matter what the situation? You'll always want to approach with caution and announce your arrival. It's saved not only many a human? It's saved a lot of cryptids as well. Try to have some sort of food item on you that's rather filling. You'd prefer that over them making YOU the food item.
So, as we proceed down the trail, there's a cabin to the left and it's the last house but do not enter, please. The last good hearted Samaritan did and, well, let's just say he had a run in with a girl locked in the cellar who wasn't quite herself. That's probably about the most PC way of explaining demonic possession. Anyhoo, there was bad press for a year and visitors to the park fell off, it just was a big mess. They ended up doing some kind of cybernetic enhancement and now the good Samaritan has a chainsaw for an arm. He's done a great job keeping them all in line. Overall? That was one we got right.
Since I brought up Vlad and the Countess Bathory's bouncing little bundle of bloodsucker? It's important to know that if you are in your domicile, and R.V.'s count, vampires cannot enter without an invitation from you. So, if you are camping in your R.V. and someone comes knocking late at night? Don't answer. If they aren't a vampire? They can come back the next day. If they don't come back? You definitely made the right decision. Now, the problem is? If you encounter a vampire in the wild. Hopefully? They've already set their sights on whoever they picked that night to be their victim. If not? A dropper of Holy Water as perfume on either side of your neck is a nice deterrent. Again, if the little count is there by himself? He's clearly gotten away from the castle. He needs returned immediately. Go to the nearest tree that displays a "break in case of emergency" box. Break the glass, take the bag of beef jerky out, shake it. Every Sasquatch in a 5 mile radius will come running to you. Point the baby vampire out and we'll be glad to take it from there.
Something I should bring up to our do-gooders ready to risk it all: if you can't swim? Don't try to help aquatic creatures. It won't end well. It never does. Little fry just aren't acclimated to landlubbers. Merpups are tough for even us to handle. They get scared, you can't swim, bad things happen. So? If you're determined to help any baby monster no matter where they reside? Take swimming lessons. You'll thank me. Trust me on this.
Don't let the fae trip you up, either. They're mischievous. They'll also try to sneak a changeling in on you if you do bring your human babies to the forest. If you respect walking around fairy rings and respect mother nature? The fae shouldn't be an issue. If you don't? Well, you were warned.
So, what have we not covered? Flying creatures. Yes, they present a challenge even we Sasquatch find difficult. It's hard to assess the needs of a baby that's wrapped in the arms of a mother flying 75 feet above your head. Even though the task is daunting? It's a challenge we'll definitely take on. We just watch and wait for Mom to go on the hunt and we take a peak at that tiny little velociraptor in that nest, with it's mouth hanging wide open, just awaiting a morsel. Now, the Mothman's baby was an experience. Cocoons are just something you have to see for yourself, especially when they're 6 feet tall. It's truly fascinating!
I think that covers everything for today's lesson. Bear in mind, we're beginning the summer season here in the U.S. Encounters are going to increase between cryptids and humans so be aware and care when it comes to our babies. We're aware and care when it comes to yours. Stay safe and Sasquatch on!
submitted by Thick_Mick_Chick to TheDarkGathering [link] [comments]
Anyhoo, you're probably wondering why Sasquatch are utilized as Labor and Delivery nurses. It's simple, really. We're natural born mothers. You see, we just love babies! We always have! All of that nonsense about whooping, tree knocking and vocalizations that we do in the woods when you guys are camping? Don't get scared! That's just us shouting out to our boys letting them know we have humans in the woods! Humans could possibly have a BABY with them. Now, I don't like to judge based on looks, but those bald human babies are so ugly? They're cute! Poor little things look like they have mange, though. Who would think a bald puppy is cute? Ew.
I digress. So, when it came to the M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery? We were the natural choice. Even though I happen to be female? History tells us that male nursery nurses happen to have the best bonding with our little devils. Well, little devils and whoever else was born that day. Just look at Chewy over there bonding with that litter of werewolf pups born on the last full moon. He's so maternal? He's practically a breast.
Now, all babies are not created equal. Have you ever wondered which monster's baby is the loudest? I can promise you that you'd rather listen to that werewolf pup litter any day over being 5 minutes late with Baby Siren Head's bottle. I had a headache for a week. When Vlad and Countess Bathory had their little undead bundle of joy last month? You'd be surprised how quick a Bigfoot can prick and milk their finger to get a fresh bottle of nutritious blood for that adorable, pale little parasite. He definitely had a healthy appetite, especially if you were B positive. Vlad and Countess Bathory couldn't have been happier. Patient satisfaction has always been a priority for HCCs (Healthcare Cryptid) since day one! We've never gotten below a 5 on the Jack Link's scale of 0 - 5 jerkies. We are collectively very proud of this fact! It's such an accomplishment for Bigfoot and all of Sasquatch kind.
Okay, I could understand why you think we're a little full of ourselves. I, mean, when Sasquatch are the chosen ones to be the top requested HCC? It's a far fall to the 2nd position. Look, we can't all be God's Chosen Ones. Yes, he exists. Yes, he created us. You're getting distracted, again. We aren't all going to argue semantics on what is Creationism and what is Darwinism and all of that. I'm too busy trying to teach incompetent, um cough cough, INTERESTED humans how to provide the most basic care for any creature's neonates (medical term for newborn) that they might stumble across while enjoying hiking, camping, fishing, etc. The priority? The newborn. Additional concerns?
1) MotheFather finding humans around newborn and attacking them.
2) Humans treating the scenario like an episode of "Jack Ass" and thinking it's a good idea to "mess with" the newborn and? Again? Mom/Dad attacks them.
3) Basically? A human breathing will set Mom/Dad off. Most creatures just don't want humans around. They can't be trusted. Sorry, Guys. It's been that way every since you refused to credit Chewy in the '67 Patterson–Gimlin film.
So? Your first reaction, if you see a baby creature? Look for it's parents. If you see them? Run. Run fast. Like, put Forrest Gump to shame kinda runnin'. Those parents don't want you there for any reason at all. Pick 'em up and put 'em down the whole way back down the trail.
If you don't see the parents? Proceed slowly and with caution. Now, don't let everything I've said scare you into not helping a baby monster. They're babies, after all. Please, check on them. Just be aware of your surroundings so as not to frighten the wood creatures which will, in turn, attack you. Then? It's just a bad day for everyone involved.
So? Depending on the woodland creature? You'll want to know what action you need to take to help the baby and? Hopefully? Survive assisting. The first thing you'll want to do is call out/whistle, whatever you have to do to try to get someone's attention. Look around and listen. What do you see and hear? If it's nothing? Again, proceed with caution. If you hear howling, growling, tree knocking, whooping, any of these things? Leave, either their parents are still around or we're there and will then takeover. I know. It's confusing to try to tell when we're tree knocking hoping you have a baby with you or if we know there's a baby around and we don't want you around the baby. Really, if at all possible, just don't mess with the babies if you don't have to. With that having been said? Let's proceed!
As you cautiously approach? Keep making noise letting everyone know you're there. We don't want to scare the life, or afterlife, out of these little ones. They're at their most vulnerable right now. Let's use Chewy's patients today as an example. You traipse along and stumble over a werewolf den. Well, that's not something you see every day. You hear soft whimpering. About 4 or 5 little werewolf pup heads pop up out of the den. How's everyone looking? Is anyone hurt? No? Then check your supplies. It just so happens you were successful fishing earlier. Werewolf pups love fish almost as much as moonbathing and cutting their baby teeth on a human femur. They'll be thankful, the Alpha male and female will be thankful and you'll really be thankful. You get to walk away, karma and limbs intact.
Next? It would be highly likely that you'd come across a wendigo, skinwalker, rake slenderman, etc. besides just a litter of werewolf pups. Try to prepare yourself as much as possible for these encounters. The better prepared? The better off everyone will be. The best part? These creatures won't want your everlasting soul in infancy. Those challenges don't present until adolescence. So? Enjoy the respite for the moment. Now? No matter what the situation? You'll always want to approach with caution and announce your arrival. It's saved not only many a human? It's saved a lot of cryptids as well. Try to have some sort of food item on you that's rather filling. You'd prefer that over them making YOU the food item.
So, as we proceed down the trail, there's a cabin to the left and it's the last house but do not enter, please. The last good hearted Samaritan did and, well, let's just say he had a run in with a girl locked in the cellar who wasn't quite herself. That's probably about the most PC way of explaining demonic possession. Anyhoo, there was bad press for a year and visitors to the park fell off, it just was a big mess. They ended up doing some kind of cybernetic enhancement and now the good Samaritan has a chainsaw for an arm. He's done a great job keeping them all in line. Overall? That was one we got right.
Since I brought up Vlad and the Countess Bathory's bouncing little bundle of bloodsucker? It's important to know that if you are in your domicile, and R.V.'s count, vampires cannot enter without an invitation from you. So, if you are camping in your R.V. and someone comes knocking late at night? Don't answer. If they aren't a vampire? They can come back the next day. If they don't come back? You definitely made the right decision. Now, the problem is? If you encounter a vampire in the wild. Hopefully? They've already set their sights on whoever they picked that night to be their victim. If not? A dropper of Holy Water as perfume on either side of your neck is a nice deterrent. Again, if the little count is there by himself? He's clearly gotten away from the castle. He needs returned immediately. Go to the nearest tree that displays a "break in case of emergency" box. Break the glass, take the bag of beef jerky out, shake it. Every Sasquatch in a 5 mile radius will come running to you. Point the baby vampire out and we'll be glad to take it from there.
Something I should bring up to our do-gooders ready to risk it all: if you can't swim? Don't try to help aquatic creatures. It won't end well. It never does. Little fry just aren't acclimated to landlubbers. Merpups are tough for even us to handle. They get scared, you can't swim, bad things happen. So? If you're determined to help any baby monster no matter where they reside? Take swimming lessons. You'll thank me. Trust me on this.
Don't let the fae trip you up, either. They're mischievous. They'll also try to sneak a changeling in on you if you do bring your human babies to the forest. If you respect walking around fairy rings and respect mother nature? The fae shouldn't be an issue. If you don't? Well, you were warned.
So, what have we not covered? Flying creatures. Yes, they present a challenge even we Sasquatch find difficult. It's hard to assess the needs of a baby that's wrapped in the arms of a mother flying 75 feet above your head. Even though the task is daunting? It's a challenge we'll definitely take on. We just watch and wait for Mom to go on the hunt and we take a peak at that tiny little velociraptor in that nest, with it's mouth hanging wide open, just awaiting a morsel. Now, the Mothman's baby was an experience. Cocoons are just something you have to see for yourself, especially when they're 6 feet tall. It's truly fascinating!
I think that covers everything for today's lesson. Bear in mind, we're beginning the summer season here in the U.S. Encounters are going to increase between cryptids and humans so be aware and care when it comes to our babies. We're aware and care when it comes to yours. Stay safe and Sasquatch on!
2023.06.04 22:47 Joshymo American Coin Iceberg
 | submitted by Joshymo to IcebergCharts [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 22:38 bogdanez Animal Mandala Coloring Books for Adults, Volumes 1 and 2
Just published two volumes of coloring books for adults, thought I'd share them here, if anyone is interested:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C72JWYD9
Here's the description:
You get to color a variety of fun animal designs from all across the animal kingdom. We have included alligator, armadillo, bear, buffalo, camel, cheetah, chimpanzee, cow, crab, deer, dog, donkey, eagle, elephant, ferret, fox, giraffe, groundhog, hippopotamus, horse, ibex, jaguar, koala, leopard, lion, lobster, meerkat, mouse, orangutan, otter, panda, parrot, peacock, pig, polar bear, python, rabbit, raccoon, rat, rhinoceros, salamander, shark, sloth, sparrow, stork, tiger, toucan, weasel, wild boar and wombat. You can color each animal with realistic colors or let your imagination run wild and use whichever colors you choose!
submitted by bogdanez to AdultColoring [link] [comments]
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C72JWYD9
Here's the description:
Have Fun and Relax with 50 Unique Animal Mandala Coloring Pages!
Our animal mandala coloring book, volume 1 is a wonderful way to show your love of animals while your stress fades away. Each animal features stylized patterns which allow you to effortlessly fill pages with any of your favorite colors and produce a stunning image.You get to color a variety of fun animal designs from all across the animal kingdom. We have included alligator, armadillo, bear, buffalo, camel, cheetah, chimpanzee, cow, crab, deer, dog, donkey, eagle, elephant, ferret, fox, giraffe, groundhog, hippopotamus, horse, ibex, jaguar, koala, leopard, lion, lobster, meerkat, mouse, orangutan, otter, panda, parrot, peacock, pig, polar bear, python, rabbit, raccoon, rat, rhinoceros, salamander, shark, sloth, sparrow, stork, tiger, toucan, weasel, wild boar and wombat. You can color each animal with realistic colors or let your imagination run wild and use whichever colors you choose!
A Product You Will Love
Coloring is a wonderful hobby and a great way to have fun and relax. The BOOP Maket brand coloring books come in a variety of themes and look awesome, so we have something for everyone to enjoy.Great for All Skill Levels
BOOP Market books can be enjoyed whether you are a beginner or expert. Color each page however you want, there is no wrong way to color, and no artistic talent or experience is required.Use Your Favorite Supplies
The BOOP Market coloring books are compatible with colored pencils, markers, gel pens, and crayons. Choose any colors you can imagine – from conventional color schemes to something super creative!Single-sided Pages
Every image is placed on its own page so you never have to worry about bleed-through. The name of the animal is on the back of the page for easy identification, and is in light gray color, so it does not show on the front, where the image is.Makes a Wonderful Gift
Our books are great for Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, anniversaries, birthdays, and any special occasion.More Coloring Books Available
Animal Mandala Coloring Book, Volume 2. 50 more animals to color! Also, other books are coming!2023.06.04 22:33 Thick_Mick_Chick M.O.N.S.T.E.R Nursery
Let me be the first to welcome you to the MotheOffspring, Nurturing/Support, Teaching/Education Resource Network, or? M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery. My name is Sassy, short for Sasquatch. Yes, THAT sasquatch. Are there other kinds?! I'm a HCC (Healthcare Cryptid) here at the nursery. I also teach humans the survival basics of coming across a baby monster in the woods.
Anyhoo, you're probably wondering why Sasquatch are utilized as Labor and Delivery nurses. It's simple, really. We're natural born mothers. You see, we just love babies! We always have! All of that nonsense about whooping, tree knocking and vocalizations that we do in the woods when you guys are camping? Don't get scared! That's just us shouting out to our boys letting them know we have humans in the woods! Humans could possibly have a BABY with them. Now, I don't like to judge based on looks, but those bald human babies are so ugly? They're cute! Poor little things look like they have mange, though. Who would think a bald puppy is cute? Ew.
I digress. So, when it came to the M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery? We were the natural choice. Even though I happen to be female? History tells us that male nursery nurses happen to have the best bonding with our little devils. Well, little devils and whoever else was born that day. Just look at Chewy over there bonding with that litter of werewolf pups born on the last full moon. He's so maternal? He's practically a breast.
Now, all babies are not created equal. Have you ever wondered which monster's baby is the loudest? I can promise you that you'd rather listen to that werewolf pup litter any day over being 5 minutes late with Baby Siren Head's bottle. I had a headache for a week. When Vlad and Countess Bathory had their little undead bundle of joy last month? You'd be surprised how quick a Bigfoot can prick and milk their finger to get a fresh bottle of nutritious blood for that adorable, pale little parasite. He definitely had a healthy appetite, especially if you were B positive. Vlad and Countess Bathory couldn't have been happier. Patient satisfaction has always been a priority for HCCs (Healthcare Cryptid) since day one! We've never gotten below a 5 on the Jack Link's scale of 0 - 5 jerkies. We are collectively very proud of this fact! It's such an accomplishment for Bigfoot and all of Sasquatch kind.
Okay, I could understand why you think we're a little full of ourselves. I, mean, when Sasquatch are the chosen ones to be the top requested HCC? It's a far fall to the 2nd position. Look, we can't all be God's Chosen Ones. Yes, he exists. Yes, he created us. You're getting distracted, again. We aren't all going to argue semantics on what is Creationism and what is Darwinism and all of that. I'm too busy trying to teach incompetent, um cough cough, INTERESTED humans how to provide the most basic care for any creature's neonates (medical term for newborn) that they might stumble across while enjoying hiking, camping, fishing, etc. The priority? The newborn. Additional concerns?
1) MotheFather finding humans around newborn and attacking them.
2) Humans treating the scenario like an episode of "Jack Ass" and thinking it's a good idea to "mess with" the newborn and? Again? Mom/Dad attacks them.
3) Basically? A human breathing will set Mom/Dad off. Most creatures just don't want humans around. They can't be trusted. Sorry, Guys. It's been that way every since you refused to credit Chewy in the '67 Patterson–Gimlin film.
So? Your first reaction, if you see a baby creature? Look for it's parents. If you see them? Run. Run fast. Like, put Forrest Gump to shame kinda runnin'. Those parents don't want you there for any reason at all. Pick 'em up and put 'em down the whole way back down the trail.
If you don't see the parents? Proceed slowly and with caution. Now, don't let everything I've said scare you into not helping a baby monster. They're babies, after all. Please, check on them. Just be aware of your surroundings so as not to frighten the wood creatures which will, in turn, attack you. Then? It's just a bad day for everyone involved.
So? Depending on the woodland creature? You'll want to know what action you need to take to help the baby and? Hopefully? Survive assisting. The first thing you'll want to do is call out/whistle, whatever you have to do to try to get someone's attention. Look around and listen. What do you see and hear? If it's nothing? Again, proceed with caution. If you hear howling, growling, tree knocking, whooping, any of these things? Leave, either their parents are still around or we're there and will then takeover. I know. It's confusing to try to tell when we're tree knocking hoping you have a baby with you or if we know there's a baby around and we don't want you around the baby. Really, if at all possible, just don't mess with the babies if you don't have to. With that having been said? Let's proceed!
As you cautiously approach? Keep making noise letting everyone know you're there. We don't want to scare the life, or afterlife, out of these little ones. They're at their most vulnerable right now. Let's use Chewy's patients today as an example. You traipse along and stumble over a werewolf den. Well, that's not something you see every day. You hear soft whimpering. About 4 or 5 little werewolf pup heads pop up out of the den. How's everyone looking? Is anyone hurt? No? Then check your supplies. It just so happens you were successful fishing earlier. Werewolf pups love fish almost as much as moonbathing and cutting their baby teeth on a human femur. They'll be thankful, the Alpha male and female will be thankful and you'll really be thankful. You get to walk away, karma and limbs intact.
Next? It would be highly likely that you'd come across a wendigo, skinwalker, rake slenderman, etc. besides just a litter of werewolf pups. Try to prepare yourself as much as possible for these encounters. The better prepared? The better off everyone will be. The best part? These creatures won't want your everlasting soul in infancy. Those challenges don't present until adolescence. So? Enjoy the respite for the moment. Now? No matter what the situation? You'll always want to approach with caution and announce your arrival. It's saved not only many a human? It's saved a lot of cryptids as well. Try to have some sort of food item on you that's rather filling. You'd prefer that over them making YOU the food item.
So, as we proceed down the trail, there's a cabin to the left and it's the last house but do not enter, please. The last good hearted Samaritan did and, well, let's just say he had a run in with a girl locked in the cellar who wasn't quite herself. That's probably about the most PC way of explaining demonic possession. Anyhoo, there was bad press for a year and visitors to the park fell off, it just was a big mess. They ended up doing some kind of cybernetic enhancement and now the good Samaritan has a chainsaw for an arm. He's done a great job keeping them all in line. Overall? That was one we got right.
Since I brought up Vlad and the Countess Bathory's bouncing little bundle of bloodsucker? It's important to know that if you are in your domicile, and R.V.'s count, vampires cannot enter without an invitation from you. So, if you are camping in your R.V. and someone comes knocking late at night? Don't answer. If they aren't a vampire? They can come back the next day. If they don't come back? You definitely made the right decision. Now, the problem is? If you encounter a vampire in the wild. Hopefully? They've already set their sights on whoever they picked that night to be their victim. If not? A dropper of Holy Water as perfume on either side of your neck is a nice deterrent. Again, if the little count is there by himself? He's clearly gotten away from the castle. He needs returned immediately. Go to the nearest tree that displays a "break in case of emergency" box. Break the glass, take the bag of beef jerky out, shake it. Every Sasquatch in a 5 mile radius will come running to you. Point the baby vampire out and we'll be glad to take it from there.
Something I should bring up to our do-gooders ready to risk it all: if you can't swim? Don't try to help aquatic creatures. It won't end well. It never does. Little fry just aren't acclimated to landlubbers. Merpups are tough for even us to handle. They get scared, you can't swim, bad things happen. So? If you're determined to help any baby monster no matter where they reside? Take swimming lessons. You'll thank me. Trust me on this.
Don't let the fae trip you up, either. They're mischievous. They'll also try to sneak a changeling in on you if you do bring your human babies to the forest. If you respect walking around fairy rings and respect mother nature? The fae shouldn't be an issue. If you don't? Well, you were warned.
So, what have we not covered? Flying creatures. Yes, they present a challenge even we Sasquatch find difficult. It's hard to assess the needs of a baby that's wrapped in the arms of a mother flying 75 feet above your head. Even though the task is daunting? It's a challenge we'll definitely take on. We just watch and wait for Mom to go on the hunt and we take a peak at that tiny little velociraptor in that nest, with it's mouth hanging wide open, just awaiting a morsel. Now, the Mothman's baby was an experience. Cocoons are just something you have to see for yourself, especially when they're 6 feet tall. It's truly fascinating!
I think that covers everything for today's lesson. Bear in mind, we're beginning the summer season here in the U.S. Encounters are going to increase between cryptids and humans so be aware and care when it comes to our babies. We're aware and care when it comes to yours. Stay safe and Sasquatch on!
submitted by Thick_Mick_Chick to LighthouseHorror [link] [comments]
Anyhoo, you're probably wondering why Sasquatch are utilized as Labor and Delivery nurses. It's simple, really. We're natural born mothers. You see, we just love babies! We always have! All of that nonsense about whooping, tree knocking and vocalizations that we do in the woods when you guys are camping? Don't get scared! That's just us shouting out to our boys letting them know we have humans in the woods! Humans could possibly have a BABY with them. Now, I don't like to judge based on looks, but those bald human babies are so ugly? They're cute! Poor little things look like they have mange, though. Who would think a bald puppy is cute? Ew.
I digress. So, when it came to the M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery? We were the natural choice. Even though I happen to be female? History tells us that male nursery nurses happen to have the best bonding with our little devils. Well, little devils and whoever else was born that day. Just look at Chewy over there bonding with that litter of werewolf pups born on the last full moon. He's so maternal? He's practically a breast.
Now, all babies are not created equal. Have you ever wondered which monster's baby is the loudest? I can promise you that you'd rather listen to that werewolf pup litter any day over being 5 minutes late with Baby Siren Head's bottle. I had a headache for a week. When Vlad and Countess Bathory had their little undead bundle of joy last month? You'd be surprised how quick a Bigfoot can prick and milk their finger to get a fresh bottle of nutritious blood for that adorable, pale little parasite. He definitely had a healthy appetite, especially if you were B positive. Vlad and Countess Bathory couldn't have been happier. Patient satisfaction has always been a priority for HCCs (Healthcare Cryptid) since day one! We've never gotten below a 5 on the Jack Link's scale of 0 - 5 jerkies. We are collectively very proud of this fact! It's such an accomplishment for Bigfoot and all of Sasquatch kind.
Okay, I could understand why you think we're a little full of ourselves. I, mean, when Sasquatch are the chosen ones to be the top requested HCC? It's a far fall to the 2nd position. Look, we can't all be God's Chosen Ones. Yes, he exists. Yes, he created us. You're getting distracted, again. We aren't all going to argue semantics on what is Creationism and what is Darwinism and all of that. I'm too busy trying to teach incompetent, um cough cough, INTERESTED humans how to provide the most basic care for any creature's neonates (medical term for newborn) that they might stumble across while enjoying hiking, camping, fishing, etc. The priority? The newborn. Additional concerns?
1) MotheFather finding humans around newborn and attacking them.
2) Humans treating the scenario like an episode of "Jack Ass" and thinking it's a good idea to "mess with" the newborn and? Again? Mom/Dad attacks them.
3) Basically? A human breathing will set Mom/Dad off. Most creatures just don't want humans around. They can't be trusted. Sorry, Guys. It's been that way every since you refused to credit Chewy in the '67 Patterson–Gimlin film.
So? Your first reaction, if you see a baby creature? Look for it's parents. If you see them? Run. Run fast. Like, put Forrest Gump to shame kinda runnin'. Those parents don't want you there for any reason at all. Pick 'em up and put 'em down the whole way back down the trail.
If you don't see the parents? Proceed slowly and with caution. Now, don't let everything I've said scare you into not helping a baby monster. They're babies, after all. Please, check on them. Just be aware of your surroundings so as not to frighten the wood creatures which will, in turn, attack you. Then? It's just a bad day for everyone involved.
So? Depending on the woodland creature? You'll want to know what action you need to take to help the baby and? Hopefully? Survive assisting. The first thing you'll want to do is call out/whistle, whatever you have to do to try to get someone's attention. Look around and listen. What do you see and hear? If it's nothing? Again, proceed with caution. If you hear howling, growling, tree knocking, whooping, any of these things? Leave, either their parents are still around or we're there and will then takeover. I know. It's confusing to try to tell when we're tree knocking hoping you have a baby with you or if we know there's a baby around and we don't want you around the baby. Really, if at all possible, just don't mess with the babies if you don't have to. With that having been said? Let's proceed!
As you cautiously approach? Keep making noise letting everyone know you're there. We don't want to scare the life, or afterlife, out of these little ones. They're at their most vulnerable right now. Let's use Chewy's patients today as an example. You traipse along and stumble over a werewolf den. Well, that's not something you see every day. You hear soft whimpering. About 4 or 5 little werewolf pup heads pop up out of the den. How's everyone looking? Is anyone hurt? No? Then check your supplies. It just so happens you were successful fishing earlier. Werewolf pups love fish almost as much as moonbathing and cutting their baby teeth on a human femur. They'll be thankful, the Alpha male and female will be thankful and you'll really be thankful. You get to walk away, karma and limbs intact.
Next? It would be highly likely that you'd come across a wendigo, skinwalker, rake slenderman, etc. besides just a litter of werewolf pups. Try to prepare yourself as much as possible for these encounters. The better prepared? The better off everyone will be. The best part? These creatures won't want your everlasting soul in infancy. Those challenges don't present until adolescence. So? Enjoy the respite for the moment. Now? No matter what the situation? You'll always want to approach with caution and announce your arrival. It's saved not only many a human? It's saved a lot of cryptids as well. Try to have some sort of food item on you that's rather filling. You'd prefer that over them making YOU the food item.
So, as we proceed down the trail, there's a cabin to the left and it's the last house but do not enter, please. The last good hearted Samaritan did and, well, let's just say he had a run in with a girl locked in the cellar who wasn't quite herself. That's probably about the most PC way of explaining demonic possession. Anyhoo, there was bad press for a year and visitors to the park fell off, it just was a big mess. They ended up doing some kind of cybernetic enhancement and now the good Samaritan has a chainsaw for an arm. He's done a great job keeping them all in line. Overall? That was one we got right.
Since I brought up Vlad and the Countess Bathory's bouncing little bundle of bloodsucker? It's important to know that if you are in your domicile, and R.V.'s count, vampires cannot enter without an invitation from you. So, if you are camping in your R.V. and someone comes knocking late at night? Don't answer. If they aren't a vampire? They can come back the next day. If they don't come back? You definitely made the right decision. Now, the problem is? If you encounter a vampire in the wild. Hopefully? They've already set their sights on whoever they picked that night to be their victim. If not? A dropper of Holy Water as perfume on either side of your neck is a nice deterrent. Again, if the little count is there by himself? He's clearly gotten away from the castle. He needs returned immediately. Go to the nearest tree that displays a "break in case of emergency" box. Break the glass, take the bag of beef jerky out, shake it. Every Sasquatch in a 5 mile radius will come running to you. Point the baby vampire out and we'll be glad to take it from there.
Something I should bring up to our do-gooders ready to risk it all: if you can't swim? Don't try to help aquatic creatures. It won't end well. It never does. Little fry just aren't acclimated to landlubbers. Merpups are tough for even us to handle. They get scared, you can't swim, bad things happen. So? If you're determined to help any baby monster no matter where they reside? Take swimming lessons. You'll thank me. Trust me on this.
Don't let the fae trip you up, either. They're mischievous. They'll also try to sneak a changeling in on you if you do bring your human babies to the forest. If you respect walking around fairy rings and respect mother nature? The fae shouldn't be an issue. If you don't? Well, you were warned.
So, what have we not covered? Flying creatures. Yes, they present a challenge even we Sasquatch find difficult. It's hard to assess the needs of a baby that's wrapped in the arms of a mother flying 75 feet above your head. Even though the task is daunting? It's a challenge we'll definitely take on. We just watch and wait for Mom to go on the hunt and we take a peak at that tiny little velociraptor in that nest, with it's mouth hanging wide open, just awaiting a morsel. Now, the Mothman's baby was an experience. Cocoons are just something you have to see for yourself, especially when they're 6 feet tall. It's truly fascinating!
I think that covers everything for today's lesson. Bear in mind, we're beginning the summer season here in the U.S. Encounters are going to increase between cryptids and humans so be aware and care when it comes to our babies. We're aware and care when it comes to yours. Stay safe and Sasquatch on!
2023.06.04 22:32 Thick_Mick_Chick M.O.N.S.T.E.R Nursery
Let me be the first to welcome you to the MotheOffspring, Nurturing/Support, Teaching/Education Resource Network, or? M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery. My name is Sassy, short for Sasquatch. Yes, THAT sasquatch. Are there other kinds?! I'm a HCC (Healthcare Cryptid) here at the nursery. I also teach humans the survival basics of coming across a baby monster in the woods.
Anyhoo, you're probably wondering why Sasquatch are utilized as Labor and Delivery nurses. It's simple, really. We're natural born mothers. You see, we just love babies! We always have! All of that nonsense about whooping, tree knocking and vocalizations that we do in the woods when you guys are camping? Don't get scared! That's just us shouting out to our boys letting them know we have humans in the woods! Humans could possibly have a BABY with them. Now, I don't like to judge based on looks, but those bald human babies are so ugly? They're cute! Poor little things look like they have mange, though. Who would think a bald puppy is cute? Ew.
I digress. So, when it came to the M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery? We were the natural choice. Even though I happen to be female? History tells us that male nursery nurses happen to have the best bonding with our little devils. Well, little devils and whoever else was born that day. Just look at Chewy over there bonding with that litter of werewolf pups born on the last full moon. He's so maternal? He's practically a breast.
Now, all babies are not created equal. Have you ever wondered which monster's baby is the loudest? I can promise you that you'd rather listen to that werewolf pup litter any day over being 5 minutes late with Baby Siren Head's bottle. I had a headache for a week. When Vlad and Countess Bathory had their little undead bundle of joy last month? You'd be surprised how quick a Bigfoot can prick and milk their finger to get a fresh bottle of nutritious blood for that adorable, pale little parasite. He definitely had a healthy appetite, especially if you were B positive. Vlad and Countess Bathory couldn't have been happier. Patient satisfaction has always been a priority for HCCs (Healthcare Cryptid) since day one! We've never gotten below a 5 on the Jack Link's scale of 0 - 5 jerkies. We are collectively very proud of this fact! It's such an accomplishment for Bigfoot and all of Sasquatch kind.
Okay, I could understand why you think we're a little full of ourselves. I, mean, when Sasquatch are the chosen ones to be the top requested HCC? It's a far fall to the 2nd position. Look, we can't all be God's Chosen Ones. Yes, he exists. Yes, he created us. You're getting distracted, again. We aren't all going to argue semantics on what is Creationism and what is Darwinism and all of that. I'm too busy trying to teach incompetent, um cough cough, INTERESTED humans how to provide the most basic care for any creature's neonates (medical term for newborn) that they might stumble across while enjoying hiking, camping, fishing, etc. The priority? The newborn. Additional concerns?
1) MotheFather finding humans around newborn and attacking them.
2) Humans treating the scenario like an episode of "Jack Ass" and thinking it's a good idea to "mess with" the newborn and? Again? Mom/Dad attacks them.
3) Basically? A human breathing will set Mom/Dad off. Most creatures just don't want humans around. They can't be trusted. Sorry, Guys. It's been that way every since you refused to credit Chewy in the '67 Patterson–Gimlin film.
So? Your first reaction, if you see a baby creature? Look for it's parents. If you see them? Run. Run fast. Like, put Forrest Gump to shame kinda runnin'. Those parents don't want you there for any reason at all. Pick 'em up and put 'em down the whole way back down the trail.
If you don't see the parents? Proceed slowly and with caution. Now, don't let everything I've said scare you into not helping a baby monster. They're babies, after all. Please, check on them. Just be aware of your surroundings so as not to frighten the wood creatures which will, in turn, attack you. Then? It's just a bad day for everyone involved.
So? Depending on the woodland creature? You'll want to know what action you need to take to help the baby and? Hopefully? Survive assisting. The first thing you'll want to do is call out/whistle, whatever you have to do to try to get someone's attention. Look around and listen. What do you see and hear? If it's nothing? Again, proceed with caution. If you hear howling, growling, tree knocking, whooping, any of these things? Leave, either their parents are still around or we're there and will then takeover. I know. It's confusing to try to tell when we're tree knocking hoping you have a baby with you or if we know there's a baby around and we don't want you around the baby. Really, if at all possible, just don't mess with the babies if you don't have to. With that having been said? Let's proceed!
As you cautiously approach? Keep making noise letting everyone know you're there. We don't want to scare the life, or afterlife, out of these little ones. They're at their most vulnerable right now. Let's use Chewy's patients today as an example. You traipse along and stumble over a werewolf den. Well, that's not something you see every day. You hear soft whimpering. About 4 or 5 little werewolf pup heads pop up out of the den. How's everyone looking? Is anyone hurt? No? Then check your supplies. It just so happens you were successful fishing earlier. Werewolf pups love fish almost as much as moonbathing and cutting their baby teeth on a human femur. They'll be thankful, the Alpha male and female will be thankful and you'll really be thankful. You get to walk away, karma and limbs intact.
Next? It would be highly likely that you'd come across a wendigo, skinwalker, rake slenderman, etc. besides just a litter of werewolf pups. Try to prepare yourself as much as possible for these encounters. The better prepared? The better off everyone will be. The best part? These creatures won't want your everlasting soul in infancy. Those challenges don't present until adolescence. So? Enjoy the respite for the moment. Now? No matter what the situation? You'll always want to approach with caution and announce your arrival. It's saved not only many a human? It's saved a lot of cryptids as well. Try to have some sort of food item on you that's rather filling. You'd prefer that over them making YOU the food item.
So, as we proceed down the trail, there's a cabin to the left and it's the last house but do not enter, please. The last good hearted Samaritan did and, well, let's just say he had a run in with a girl locked in the cellar who wasn't quite herself. That's probably about the most PC way of explaining demonic possession. Anyhoo, there was bad press for a year and visitors to the park fell off, it just was a big mess. They ended up doing some kind of cybernetic enhancement and now the good Samaritan has a chainsaw for an arm. He's done a great job keeping them all in line. Overall? That was one we got right.
Since I brought up Vlad and the Countess Bathory's bouncing little bundle of bloodsucker? It's important to know that if you are in your domicile, and R.V.'s count, vampires cannot enter without an invitation from you. So, if you are camping in your R.V. and someone comes knocking late at night? Don't answer. If they aren't a vampire? They can come back the next day. If they don't come back? You definitely made the right decision. Now, the problem is? If you encounter a vampire in the wild. Hopefully? They've already set their sights on whoever they picked that night to be their victim. If not? A dropper of Holy Water as perfume on either side of your neck is a nice deterrent. Again, if the little count is there by himself? He's clearly gotten away from the castle. He needs returned immediately. Go to the nearest tree that displays a "break in case of emergency" box. Break the glass, take the bag of beef jerky out, shake it. Every Sasquatch in a 5 mile radius will come running to you. Point the baby vampire out and we'll be glad to take it from there.
Something I should bring up to our do-gooders ready to risk it all: if you can't swim? Don't try to help aquatic creatures. It won't end well. It never does. Little fry just aren't acclimated to landlubbers. Merpups are tough for even us to handle. They get scared, you can't swim, bad things happen. So? If you're determined to help any baby monster no matter where they reside? Take swimming lessons. You'll thank me. Trust me on this.
Don't let the fae trip you up, either. They're mischievous. They'll also try to sneak a changeling in on you if you do bring your human babies to the forest. If you respect walking around fairy rings and respect mother nature? The fae shouldn't be an issue. If you don't? Well, you were warned.
So, what have we not covered? Flying creatures. Yes, they present a challenge even we Sasquatch find difficult. It's hard to assess the needs of a baby that's wrapped in the arms of a mother flying 75 feet above your head. Even though the task is daunting? It's a challenge we'll definitely take on. We just watch and wait for Mom to go on the hunt and we take a peak at that tiny little velociraptor in that nest, with it's mouth hanging wide open, just awaiting a morsel. Now, the Mothman's baby was an experience. Cocoons are just something you have to see for yourself, especially when they're 6 feet tall. It's truly fascinating!
I think that covers everything for today's lesson. Bear in mind, we're beginning the summer season here in the U.S. Encounters are going to increase between cryptids and humans so be aware and care when it comes to our babies. We're aware and care when it comes to yours. Stay safe and Sasquatch on!
submitted by Thick_Mick_Chick to mrcreeps [link] [comments]
Anyhoo, you're probably wondering why Sasquatch are utilized as Labor and Delivery nurses. It's simple, really. We're natural born mothers. You see, we just love babies! We always have! All of that nonsense about whooping, tree knocking and vocalizations that we do in the woods when you guys are camping? Don't get scared! That's just us shouting out to our boys letting them know we have humans in the woods! Humans could possibly have a BABY with them. Now, I don't like to judge based on looks, but those bald human babies are so ugly? They're cute! Poor little things look like they have mange, though. Who would think a bald puppy is cute? Ew.
I digress. So, when it came to the M.O.N.S.T.E.R. Nursery? We were the natural choice. Even though I happen to be female? History tells us that male nursery nurses happen to have the best bonding with our little devils. Well, little devils and whoever else was born that day. Just look at Chewy over there bonding with that litter of werewolf pups born on the last full moon. He's so maternal? He's practically a breast.
Now, all babies are not created equal. Have you ever wondered which monster's baby is the loudest? I can promise you that you'd rather listen to that werewolf pup litter any day over being 5 minutes late with Baby Siren Head's bottle. I had a headache for a week. When Vlad and Countess Bathory had their little undead bundle of joy last month? You'd be surprised how quick a Bigfoot can prick and milk their finger to get a fresh bottle of nutritious blood for that adorable, pale little parasite. He definitely had a healthy appetite, especially if you were B positive. Vlad and Countess Bathory couldn't have been happier. Patient satisfaction has always been a priority for HCCs (Healthcare Cryptid) since day one! We've never gotten below a 5 on the Jack Link's scale of 0 - 5 jerkies. We are collectively very proud of this fact! It's such an accomplishment for Bigfoot and all of Sasquatch kind.
Okay, I could understand why you think we're a little full of ourselves. I, mean, when Sasquatch are the chosen ones to be the top requested HCC? It's a far fall to the 2nd position. Look, we can't all be God's Chosen Ones. Yes, he exists. Yes, he created us. You're getting distracted, again. We aren't all going to argue semantics on what is Creationism and what is Darwinism and all of that. I'm too busy trying to teach incompetent, um cough cough, INTERESTED humans how to provide the most basic care for any creature's neonates (medical term for newborn) that they might stumble across while enjoying hiking, camping, fishing, etc. The priority? The newborn. Additional concerns?
1) MotheFather finding humans around newborn and attacking them.
2) Humans treating the scenario like an episode of "Jack Ass" and thinking it's a good idea to "mess with" the newborn and? Again? Mom/Dad attacks them.
3) Basically? A human breathing will set Mom/Dad off. Most creatures just don't want humans around. They can't be trusted. Sorry, Guys. It's been that way every since you refused to credit Chewy in the '67 Patterson–Gimlin film.
So? Your first reaction, if you see a baby creature? Look for it's parents. If you see them? Run. Run fast. Like, put Forrest Gump to shame kinda runnin'. Those parents don't want you there for any reason at all. Pick 'em up and put 'em down the whole way back down the trail.
If you don't see the parents? Proceed slowly and with caution. Now, don't let everything I've said scare you into not helping a baby monster. They're babies, after all. Please, check on them. Just be aware of your surroundings so as not to frighten the wood creatures which will, in turn, attack you. Then? It's just a bad day for everyone involved.
So? Depending on the woodland creature? You'll want to know what action you need to take to help the baby and? Hopefully? Survive assisting. The first thing you'll want to do is call out/whistle, whatever you have to do to try to get someone's attention. Look around and listen. What do you see and hear? If it's nothing? Again, proceed with caution. If you hear howling, growling, tree knocking, whooping, any of these things? Leave, either their parents are still around or we're there and will then takeover. I know. It's confusing to try to tell when we're tree knocking hoping you have a baby with you or if we know there's a baby around and we don't want you around the baby. Really, if at all possible, just don't mess with the babies if you don't have to. With that having been said? Let's proceed!
As you cautiously approach? Keep making noise letting everyone know you're there. We don't want to scare the life, or afterlife, out of these little ones. They're at their most vulnerable right now. Let's use Chewy's patients today as an example. You traipse along and stumble over a werewolf den. Well, that's not something you see every day. You hear soft whimpering. About 4 or 5 little werewolf pup heads pop up out of the den. How's everyone looking? Is anyone hurt? No? Then check your supplies. It just so happens you were successful fishing earlier. Werewolf pups love fish almost as much as moonbathing and cutting their baby teeth on a human femur. They'll be thankful, the Alpha male and female will be thankful and you'll really be thankful. You get to walk away, karma and limbs intact.
Next? It would be highly likely that you'd come across a wendigo, skinwalker, rake slenderman, etc. besides just a litter of werewolf pups. Try to prepare yourself as much as possible for these encounters. The better prepared? The better off everyone will be. The best part? These creatures won't want your everlasting soul in infancy. Those challenges don't present until adolescence. So? Enjoy the respite for the moment. Now? No matter what the situation? You'll always want to approach with caution and announce your arrival. It's saved not only many a human? It's saved a lot of cryptids as well. Try to have some sort of food item on you that's rather filling. You'd prefer that over them making YOU the food item.
So, as we proceed down the trail, there's a cabin to the left and it's the last house but do not enter, please. The last good hearted Samaritan did and, well, let's just say he had a run in with a girl locked in the cellar who wasn't quite herself. That's probably about the most PC way of explaining demonic possession. Anyhoo, there was bad press for a year and visitors to the park fell off, it just was a big mess. They ended up doing some kind of cybernetic enhancement and now the good Samaritan has a chainsaw for an arm. He's done a great job keeping them all in line. Overall? That was one we got right.
Since I brought up Vlad and the Countess Bathory's bouncing little bundle of bloodsucker? It's important to know that if you are in your domicile, and R.V.'s count, vampires cannot enter without an invitation from you. So, if you are camping in your R.V. and someone comes knocking late at night? Don't answer. If they aren't a vampire? They can come back the next day. If they don't come back? You definitely made the right decision. Now, the problem is? If you encounter a vampire in the wild. Hopefully? They've already set their sights on whoever they picked that night to be their victim. If not? A dropper of Holy Water as perfume on either side of your neck is a nice deterrent. Again, if the little count is there by himself? He's clearly gotten away from the castle. He needs returned immediately. Go to the nearest tree that displays a "break in case of emergency" box. Break the glass, take the bag of beef jerky out, shake it. Every Sasquatch in a 5 mile radius will come running to you. Point the baby vampire out and we'll be glad to take it from there.
Something I should bring up to our do-gooders ready to risk it all: if you can't swim? Don't try to help aquatic creatures. It won't end well. It never does. Little fry just aren't acclimated to landlubbers. Merpups are tough for even us to handle. They get scared, you can't swim, bad things happen. So? If you're determined to help any baby monster no matter where they reside? Take swimming lessons. You'll thank me. Trust me on this.
Don't let the fae trip you up, either. They're mischievous. They'll also try to sneak a changeling in on you if you do bring your human babies to the forest. If you respect walking around fairy rings and respect mother nature? The fae shouldn't be an issue. If you don't? Well, you were warned.
So, what have we not covered? Flying creatures. Yes, they present a challenge even we Sasquatch find difficult. It's hard to assess the needs of a baby that's wrapped in the arms of a mother flying 75 feet above your head. Even though the task is daunting? It's a challenge we'll definitely take on. We just watch and wait for Mom to go on the hunt and we take a peak at that tiny little velociraptor in that nest, with it's mouth hanging wide open, just awaiting a morsel. Now, the Mothman's baby was an experience. Cocoons are just something you have to see for yourself, especially when they're 6 feet tall. It's truly fascinating!
I think that covers everything for today's lesson. Bear in mind, we're beginning the summer season here in the U.S. Encounters are going to increase between cryptids and humans so be aware and care when it comes to our babies. We're aware and care when it comes to yours. Stay safe and Sasquatch on!
2023.06.04 22:24 OvalCash22 SELLING FA RENEGADE AND PURPLE SKULL. XBOX,PC & PSN LINKABLE. DM IF INTERESTED
 | submitted by OvalCash22 to FortniteAccountsSale [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 22:06 BillWardStepOnMe friend smoked meats for us the other day
I get it now 2012 redditors. I wish my parents were slightly more experimental with food when I was growing up. I get why because they both worked but Iwonder how much healthier my childhood would have been if fast food slop wasn't my only real exposure to stuff that actually tasted good
anyway it's a pain trying to play catchup now and learn how to cook stuff that isn't out of a jar. this was a nice reminder that I still have a long way to go and haven't been exposed to much flavours. buffalo chicken wings are very nice smoked, turns out. even cheap steak with a basic rub was delicious
submitted by BillWardStepOnMe to redscarepod [link] [comments]
anyway it's a pain trying to play catchup now and learn how to cook stuff that isn't out of a jar. this was a nice reminder that I still have a long way to go and haven't been exposed to much flavours. buffalo chicken wings are very nice smoked, turns out. even cheap steak with a basic rub was delicious
2023.06.04 21:27 IDislikeHomonyms Business idea: "Junior Blazin' Challenge" for minors to partake in!
The difference between the Blazin Challenge and its junior version would be that the junior version is only available to anyone aged 5-17, and the Carolina reaper wings are boneless.
The prizes would be appropriately suited for minors, too - like a stuffed BWW Buffalo, for instance.
So how do you feel about possibly having a new kind of Blazin Challenge specifically for minors?
submitted by IDislikeHomonyms to BuffaloWildWings [link] [comments]
The prizes would be appropriately suited for minors, too - like a stuffed BWW Buffalo, for instance.
So how do you feel about possibly having a new kind of Blazin Challenge specifically for minors?
2023.06.04 21:06 Airtightspoon Order cancelled when my dasher was on the way?
It said my dasher was 5-7 minutes away from my house, with my food, then I got this message:
Your order from It's Just Wings was cancelled because your Dasher experienced an unexpected issue during the delivery. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.
What happened? I can understand a delay if there's traffic or something, but how could they have just straight up cancelled it? I also don't see any mention of a refund, am I still being charged for this?
submitted by Airtightspoon to doordash [link] [comments]
Your order from It's Just Wings was cancelled because your Dasher experienced an unexpected issue during the delivery. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.
What happened? I can understand a delay if there's traffic or something, but how could they have just straight up cancelled it? I also don't see any mention of a refund, am I still being charged for this?
2023.06.04 21:05 seeldoger47 [H] PayPal, Cash App, Crypto, Chime, Apple Pay, or Venmo [W] Apple, Amazon (CA, Com, DE, ES, FR, IT, UK), B&N, Dunkin, eBay, Grub Hub, Gyft, iTunes, JCPenney, Microsoft, PSN, Steam, Target, Uber, Walmart, Xbox + more
Desktop Users: Comment on this post and Click here to start a trade App Users, please include the following in your PM (Remember to comment on this post as well):
BTC, Paypal1, Apple Pay, Chime, Cashapp, Venmo, and Western Union
I only have Steam as a substitute for cash payments in gift card trades.
1 When paying via PayPal, I can only send payments via Goods and Services, thus you will be charged a fee. If you'd rather not face this fee there are plenty of alternatives. 2 Larger denominated gift cards preferred. 3 PayPal is the only payment option. 4 I can't send less than $10 in crypto per Coinbase's rules.
Important: before you send your codes please make sure your account is secure (if your password is twelve characters or less it's best to assume your account has already been compromised; your password should be eight randomly selected words, see 1 and 2). Scams where compromised accounts are used to leverage reputation to scam an unsuspecting user, used to steal codes during the middle of the trade, and steal unused gift cards the victim was saving for later are increasingly commonplace. If you have any concerns as to your account's security, please reset your password now and force logout of all sessions. Thanks
submitted by seeldoger47 to GCTrading [link] [comments]
- Type of card(s) and amount of each.
- What payment method you accept.
- How you acquired the GC and why you're getting rid of it.
I only have Steam as a substitute for cash payments in gift card trades.
| Want ↓ | Cash or a Gift Card ↓ | BTC ↓ |
|---|---|---|
| Apple | 60%4 | NA |
| Amazon.ca | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.co.uk | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.com | 70% | 55% |
| Amazon.de | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.es | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.fr | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.it | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.jp | 30% | 30% |
| Arrow Films | 65% | 60% |
| Barnes & Noble | 50% | 50% |
| Baskin Robbins | 60% | 60% |
| Best Buy | 60% | 60% |
| BJ's (not BJ's restaurant)4 | 60% | NA |
| Bloomingdales | 50% | 50% |
| Burger King4 | 60% | NA |
| Clothing Shops (Small Boutique) | contact me | contact me |
| Dell4 | 60% | NA |
| Delta gift cards4 | 65% | NA |
| Delta Sky Miles4 | PM me | NA |
| Delta Vouchers4 | 65% | NA |
| Dicks Sporting Goods 4 | PM me | NA |
| Disney Plus | PM me | PM me |
| DoorDash | 70%6 | NA |
| Dunkin Donuts4 | 60% | NA |
| eBay | 70% | 70% |
| Fandango4 | 10% | NA |
| Five Guys4 | 60% | NA |
| Gamestop | 60% | 60% |
| Gas Station Cards4 | PM me | NA |
| Grub Hub | 70%6 | NA |
| Gyft | 70% | 70% |
| Half Price Books | 50% | 50% |
| HBO4 | 70% | NA |
| iTunes4 | 60% | NA |
| J crew | 40% | 40% |
| JCPenney | 25% | 25% |
| Jersey Mike Subs4 | 60% | NA |
| KFC4 | 60% | NA |
| Khols | 30% | 30% |
| Macys | 35% | 35% |
| Magazines.com | 40% | 40% |
| McDonald's 4 | 60% | NA |
| Microsoft6 | 60% | NA |
| Moe’s Southwestern Grill4 | 60% | NA |
| Nintendo Eshop6 | 70% | NA |
| Nordstrom | 50% | 50% |
| Panera bread4 | 60% | NA |
| PSN6 | 60 | NA |
| PSN Plus 12 month4 | NA | NA |
| Saks Fifth Avenue | 50% | 50% |
| Sears | 50% | 50% |
| Sephora | 50% | 50% |
| Speedway4 | 80% | NA |
| Starbucks | 55% | 55% |
| Steam6 | 60% | NA |
| Subway 4 | PM me | NA |
| Taco Bell | 60% | NA |
| Target | 50% | 50% |
| Uber6 | 70% | NA |
| Urban Outfitters | 50% | 50% |
| Vudu4 | 50% | NA |
| Walmart | 60% | 60% |
| Wendys4 | 60% | NA |
| Xbox (gift cards)6 | 60% | NA |
| Xbox Game Pass Ultimate (12 month/6 month/3 month/1 month)6 | PM me | NA |
| Other Clothing Stores, Gas Stations, Grocery Stores, Restaurant, & Fast Food gift cards | PM me |
What I don’t buy:
Any fees are built into the price.
- Amazon.au
- Bass Pro Shop
- buffalo wild wing
- Canadian tire
- Cold Stone
- Dairy Queen
- Fanatics
- Google Play
- Hilton Honors
- Hot Topic
- iTunes from anywhere but the US
- Krispy Kreme
- old navy/gap/banana republic
- Patxi's pizza
- PSN Canada or UK
- publix
- Raceway
- Scheels
- Shell Gas Stations
- Spotify
- Tractor supply
- Xbox Canada or UK
- Xbox live gold
2023.06.04 21:05 seeldoger47 [H] PayPal, Cash App, Crypto, Apple Pay, or Venmo [W] All Your Gift Cards
Desktop Users: Comment on this post and Click here to start a trade App Users, please include the following in your PM (Remember to comment on this post as well):
BTC, Paypal1, Apple Pay, Chime, Cashapp, Venmo, and Western Union
I only have Steam as a substitute for cash payments in gift card trades.
1 When paying via PayPal, I can only send payments via Goods and Services, thus you will be charged a fee. If you'd rather not face this fee there are plenty of alternatives. 2 Larger denominated gift cards preferred. 3 PayPal is the only payment option. 4 I can't send less than $10 in crypto per Coinbase's rules.
Important: before you send your codes please make sure your account is secure (if your password is twelve characters or less it's best to assume your account has already been compromised; your password should be eight randomly selected words, see 1 and 2). Scams where compromised accounts are used to leverage reputation to scam an unsuspecting user, used to steal codes during the middle of the trade, and steal unused gift cards the victim was saving for later are increasingly commonplace. If you have any concerns as to your account's security, please reset your password now and force logout of all sessions. Thanks
submitted by seeldoger47 to giftcardexchange [link] [comments]
- Type of card(s) and amount of each.
- What payment method you accept.
- How you acquired the GC and why you're getting rid of it.
I only have Steam as a substitute for cash payments in gift card trades.
| Want ↓ | Cash or a Gift Card ↓ | BTC ↓ |
|---|---|---|
| Apple | 60%4 | NA |
| Amazon.ca | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.co.uk | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.com | 70% | 55% |
| Amazon.de | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.es | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.fr | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.it | 50% | 50% |
| Amazon.jp | 30% | 30% |
| Arrow Films | 65% | 60% |
| Barnes & Noble | 50% | 50% |
| Baskin Robbins | 60% | 60% |
| Best Buy | 60% | 60% |
| BJ's (not BJ's restaurant)4 | 60% | NA |
| Bloomingdales | 50% | 50% |
| Burger King4 | 60% | NA |
| Clothing Shops (Small Boutique) | contact me | contact me |
| Dell4 | 60% | NA |
| Delta gift cards4 | 65% | NA |
| Delta Sky Miles4 | PM me | NA |
| Delta Vouchers4 | 65% | NA |
| Dicks Sporting Goods 4 | PM me | NA |
| Disney Plus | PM me | PM me |
| DoorDash | 70%6 | NA |
| Dunkin Donuts4 | 60% | NA |
| eBay | 70% | 70% |
| Fandango4 | 10% | NA |
| Five Guys4 | 60% | NA |
| Gamestop | 60% | 60% |
| Gas Station Cards4 | PM me | NA |
| Grub Hub | 70%6 | NA |
| Gyft | 70% | 70% |
| Half Price Books | 50% | 50% |
| HBO4 | 70% | NA |
| iTunes4 | 60% | NA |
| J crew | 40% | 40% |
| JCPenney | 25% | 25% |
| Jersey Mike Subs4 | 60% | NA |
| KFC4 | 60% | NA |
| Khols | 30% | 30% |
| Macys | 35% | 35% |
| Magazines.com | 40% | 40% |
| McDonald's 4 | 60% | NA |
| Microsoft6 | 60% | NA |
| Moe’s Southwestern Grill4 | 60% | NA |
| Nintendo Eshop6 | 70% | NA |
| Nordstrom | 50% | 50% |
| Panera bread4 | 60% | NA |
| PSN6 | 60 | NA |
| PSN Plus 12 month4 | NA | NA |
| Saks Fifth Avenue | 50% | 50% |
| Sears | 50% | 50% |
| Sephora | 50% | 50% |
| Speedway4 | 80% | NA |
| Starbucks | 55% | 55% |
| Steam6 | 60% | NA |
| Subway 4 | PM me | NA |
| Taco Bell | 60% | NA |
| Target | 50% | 50% |
| Uber6 | 70% | NA |
| Urban Outfitters | 50% | 50% |
| Vudu4 | 50% | NA |
| Walmart | 60% | 60% |
| Wendys4 | 60% | NA |
| Xbox (gift cards)6 | 60% | NA |
| Xbox Game Pass Ultimate (12 month/6 month/3 month/1 month)6 | PM me | NA |
| Other Clothing Stores, Gas Stations, Grocery Stores, Restaurant, & Fast Food gift cards | PM me |
What I don’t buy:
Any fees are built into the price.
- Amazon.au
- Bass Pro Shop
- buffalo wild wing
- Canadian tire
- Cold Stone
- Dairy Queen
- Fanatics
- Google Play
- Hilton Honors
- Hot Topic
- iTunes from anywhere but the US
- Krispy Kreme
- old navy/gap/banana republic
- Patxi's pizza
- PSN Canada or UK
- publix
- Raceway
- Scheels
- Shell Gas Stations
- Spotify
- Tractor supply
- Xbox Canada or UK
- Xbox live gold