Kin kin morganton nc

So ayun, I am waiting for a bus earlier Pauwi from work, as an introvert I’m wearing my earphone with music of course,
Then there’s a stranger(guy) na papalapit and kita ko naman sa mouth niya na he’s speaking, then I removed one of my earphones expecting na he is asking kung saan papunta sa ganito/ganyan, but No, he’s said,
“Bagay sayo yung salamin mo” (I’m wearing eyeglasses btw malamang) lol
Then ako napa tungo na lang then smile and mga after 3-5seconds bigla niyang sinabi na,
“Mukha po kayong pornstar”
Like wth? In my mind, kinabahan ako bigla and sinuot ko na ulit yung earphone ko kasi hindi ko naman alam irereact ko haha, hindi ko na lang siya pinansin and still waiting for a bus.
Ang rude ko ba? tng*n! kasi bakit kailangan pa sabihin lol? Creepy amp. Wala lang share ko lang hindi lang siya isang beses nangyare sa’kin, some of my colleagues said that too, kasi nga sa work lang ako nagsusuot ng salamin.
Gusto ko lang naman magmukhang matalino(charot) at hindi maldita(coz i am).
I have astigmatism kasi. (bakit ba ako nag e-explain) HAHAHA

Im posting on a friends behalf.
My elderly friend accepted an elderly homeless man as a roommate. They were close friends for several years, the roommate was not responsible for rent.
6 months ago the roommate suddenly died.
Next of kin want nothing to do with this man's posessions, including 2 working vehicles.
What should my friend do? He was using the cars routinely as part of their roommate relationship.
My friend has handled all of the roommates end of life care, but was not entitled to a death certificate, nor an affidavit of death.
The roommate did have debt, but my friend has no access to that information.
We are in WA state, in USA.

Hey, I’m about to be in my second year at trent for biology and looking into nursing @ Trent for 2024. I just got accepted for Yorku health & kin. I have intentions of pursuing my masters in the future, hopefully something medicine related but I’m just scared I’ll get stuck in a loop hole after finishing a kin degree. Everyone keeps telling me to accept the offer and I’ve done my research but I’m still 50/50 and still very scared I’d make the wrong decision.
I know york kin wouldn’t allow me to meet some of the prerequisites for some medical schools, which I have also thought and considered about making them my electives or taking summer classes.
If I go to York it would be a huge win for me financially as I wouldn’t have to worry about renting and I’d be in the city. Trent isn’t a problem financially, but it’s still very stressful for me being far from home.
Another worry of mine is the acceptance rates of med schools in Canada and the tuition costs of having to go to school internationally. Would I be safer going into nursing?
I just want some opinions and whether I should stay at Trent or not. My acceptance deadline is August 15.

Featuring some of the leaders of Beowulf, Incorporated:
----------------------------------------------------
TINY, THOMAS, DR. NONNE, NEMO, and LADY sit along the back wall of a dimly-lit room. In front of them, DR. SHORT sits in his wheelchair, facing them. Behind him, a screen is lit by a projector.
DR. SHORT: The following is a presentation examining the entity known as Cthulhu, its history on our planet, and the dangers it represents to the people of Earth. Before I begin, I would like to acknowledge the invaluable contributions of Miss Lady Orleans, Dr. Quincy Nonne, and Miss Marvel Morgan, without whose expertise I would have been wholly incapable of-
THOMAS: This isn’t Cambridge, Davydd. You can dispense with the formalities.
TINY: (arms crossed, looking comically uncomfortable in a chair that is too small for him) Please.
DR. SHORT: Old habits die hard, Mister Blackwood. I am afraid that you will simply have to bear with me. It should also be borne in mind that a significant portion of the information which I am about to present has been acquired through the utilization of conjecture, and should be taken only as our best understanding at the moment, rather than absolute fact. Dr. Nonne, if you would.
DR. NONNE begins to set a series of slides on the projector. As DR. SHORT speaks, the screen behind him shows a number of sketches and paintings in differing artistic styles—Oriental, tribal, ancient looking, comparatively modern, et cetera. Each shows a semi-humanoid figure with two arms and legs (generally clawed), a thick torso, a pair of wings on its back, and an octopoidal face. Though each image is unique, they are all clearly artistic renderings of the same being. The images are distinctly unsettling.
DR. SHORT: Some version of this being has been worshipped by primitivist cults across the globe for millennia. The names ascribed to it vary, though they all share a certain similarity: Cthulhu, Tulu, Katulu, Khlûl-hoo, Kutulu. Indeed, it is a possibility that none of these are the entity’s true name, or even that it is impossible for the human vocal apparatus to create the sounds necessary to truly replicate what it calls itself in its native tongue. It has been decided that for our purposes, we will refer to it as “Cthulhu”, as this is the term employed by the Theron Marks Society.
THOMAS: Damn it, Davydd, I know what its name is. What is it?
DR. SHORT: (ignoring him) Though worshipped as a god, it should be noted that Cthulhu is not a god, at least in the cosmological sense. Rather, it is an entity of such power that (when exposed to it) mankind appears compelled to worship it as such, in much the same way that ancient man, exposed to a volcanic eruption, is forced to conclude that they are experiencing an instance of divine retribution. Cthulhu is indeed a potent force, but it is not omnipotent.
TINY: How potent are we talking about, here?
DR. SHORT: Cthulhu has been referred to as “The Mountain That Walks”. I am given to understand that this is not an exaggeration.
TINY: …yeah. Okay.
DR. SHORT: In addition to its impressive size, it is said to possess great cunning, an incomprehensible mastery of supraphysical thaumaturgy-
TINY: Super-what?
LADY: Magic, Jack. Magic.
TINY: Well, just say “magic”, then.
DR. SHORT: …and is said to be composed of extradimensional matter which renders it wholly unkillable, at least without an immediate and extraordinary expansion of our understanding of space and time.
TINY: So what you’re saying is, we’re fucked.
DR. SHORT: Please stop interrupting me, Mister Diamond. And no, that is not what I am saying. I mentioned before that Cthulhu’s might, though considerable, falls short of omnipotence. This was not a statement of theological speculation. We know that Cthulhu is not an omnipotent being, because it has been defeated before. On this very planet, as a matter of fact.
The room is silent, but both TINY and THOMAS are grinning in anticipation. DR. SHORT allows this statement a moment to sink in, then continues.
DR. SHORT: The next slide, Doctor Nonne.
DR. NONNE changes the slide. The projector now shows two sketches of a grey-colored, barrel-shaped being, one from the side and one from an aerial view. It possesses radial (rather than bilateral) symmetry. Its central mass displays five vertical ridges, between each of which wing-like membranes extrude from interior cavities, each approximately as long as the being is tall. Five arms are spaced around the central body mass, each ending in a small conglomeration of tentacles or tendrils. A five-pointed starfish-like head rises from its bulbous neck. Sprouting out of the head are five long stalks ending in eyes. At the top of its head is a large aperture not unlike a mouth. Below the being’s central body are five legs, each ending in a flipper-like appendage.
THOMAS: (stares, slightly unsettled) I… I’ve seen that before. Somewhere. What in the ever-loving Christ is it?
DR. SHORT: This, Mister Blackwood, is one of a race of beings known to mankind only as the Ancient Race, or the Elder Things. They were also, if Miss Orleans is to be believed, the first sentient race to populate our planet.
LADY: It isn’t conjecture, Dr. Short. I’m sure of it now.
THOMAS: But what do you-
DR. SHORT: Indeed, it is my understanding that we now have proof of the truths of these myths in the form of reports from two of our agents. Though both of them seemed to believe that they had traveled to an alien world, Miss Orleans assures me that they had in fact ventured millions of years into the past, to a city of the Ancient Race. There, they saw mosaics which confirmed the accounts whose veracity had been up to that point suspect. Dr. Nonne.
DR. NONNE begins to set a series of slides. On the wall behind DR. SHORT is projected in succession several dozen crude sketches, little better than stick figures. In them, strange barrel-shaped figures war with hideous octopoids.
DR. SHORT: It is likely that much of the following will fundamentally restructure or challenge your understanding of the history of our planet. Kindly do not allow your surprise to cause you to interrupt me. It will be easier for all of us if I get through this part quickly.
Long, long ago … Hundreds of millions, perhaps even billions of years in our distant past, the Ancient Race came to our planet. We do not know from where. At that time, Earth was largely barren of life. Over millions of years, the Ancient Race fully colonized the planet, creating massive cities both on its land surfaces and in the oceans. They mined the planets resources, conducted various scientific experiments, and held absolute dominion over the Earth.
Thomas sets his jaw firmly, willing himself not to interrupt. His hands ball into fists on his chairs armrests. Tiny has less self-restraint.
TINY: So you’re telling me-
DR. SHORT: Mister Diamond, please.
TINY: (grunts)
DR. SHORT: After countless aeons, a great cataclysm occurred. Countless cities of the Ancient Race were destroyed, and new, strange land masses rose from the depths of the sea. Ponape. R’lyeh. These names may mean little to you, but to the scholar of metaphysical history, they hold much weight. Shortly thereafter, Cthulhu and its kin arrived on our planet and settled these new lands. Though it is unclear whether there is a causal link between this cataclysm and these beings’ arrival, the timing seems suspect, at the very least.
It is here that the Ancient Race becomes directly relevant to the subject at hand. On arriving on this planet from unknown regions of space and, perhaps, time, Cthulhu and its servants (thought to perhaps be lesser members of the same species, though it is unclear) immediately began a war of dominion against the Ancient Race… A war which, by all accounts, they lost. A treaty of sorts was eventually struck. Cthulhu and its armies were permitted to keep the limited surface territories they possessed, and the rest of the planet remained the domain of the Ancient Race.
THOMAS: How did they do it?
DR. SHORT: (smiling gently) I had anticipated such a question. Doctor Nonne?
DR. NONNE replaces the slide. On the wall behind DR. SHORT is projected a series of three bullet points beneath a header which reads “WEAPONRY OF THE ANCIENT RACE”. The first bullet points is: TECHNOLOGY. The second bullet point is: THAUMATURGY. The third bullet point is: BIOLOGY.
It is our understanding that the chief strengths of the Ancient Race (beyond superior numbers) were these three points: Technological mastery, thaumaturgical-
TINY: (muttering) Magical…
DR. SHORT: … thaumaturgical mastery, and biological innovation. Our knowledge of each of these branches remains limited, yet there are still key insights which might be relayed. We begin with the domain of Technology. Doctor Nonne?
DR. NONNE: (changes the projector slide so that it now reads “TECHNOLOGY”, then abandons his position beside the projector and carries a rifle-like object composed of alien-looking, silvery metal to the front of the room. He holds it up.) At the m-m-moment, this artifact remains the s-s-singular piece of Ancient Race technology which we have thus far c-c-captured. Though initially d-d-d-dam- … found in a state of disrepair, I was able to p-patch it together to the point where it is more or less functional. (He sets the device on the table in front of him, pointing to the reverse-bell protruding from one end of it.) When the triggering mechanism is p-p-pushed, a concentrated beam of electroplasmic en-en-energy is shot out from this material concentrator, causing sig-sig-sig … extraordinary damage to the target.
It was my initial hypothesis that this device represented an alternative version of the weaponry c-c-captured from the beings referred to by the Theron Marks Society as “Mi-Go” in the gatehouse located in Hartford, Connecticut. However, th-th-this t-t-turned out to b-b-be untrue. Th-th-though the effect of the weaponry is broadly similar, the mechanisms by which said effects are achieved are widely dissimilar. However, both devices appear to be powered by miniaturized batteries of highly compressed energy, which would hypothetically limit their firings, unless these batteries were replaced or recharged. Though I’m w-w-w-wor-wor … Attempting to understand the technology involved, I am still in the extreme early stages. It appears to utilize both magnetic fields and a sort of atomic (or possibly extra-dimensional) energy converter, the fundamental properties of which modern m-m-mathematics has no apt descriptors. Each technology also ap-ap-appears to em-employ certain principles utilized by the sh-shielding device created by the Mystery Child of the Greenwood Asylum.
It is my assessment that the Mi-Go appear to be at a roughly equivalent technological level as the Ancient Race. With this in mind, it may b-b-behoove us to make the c-c-capture of further Mi-Go technology a priority. The c-c-capture and interrogation of a M-M-Mi-Go scientist would also likely prove i-i-immeasurably useful. With sufficient knowledge, I am sure that a t-t-team of engineers could replicate s-s-similar weapons designed for human use, or p-p-perhaps even larger-scale versions. Th-though this is f-far from a certainty, I would h-hazard a guess that an electroplasmic cannon would prove highly effective against Cthulhu and his m-m-minions.
DR. NONNE, finished, smiles awkwardly, looks around, then walks back to his place by the projector. LADY stands, pats DR. NONNE warmly on the back, then approaches the front of the room. DR. NONNE replaces the slide. Behind LADY is projected the word, “THAUMATURGY”.
LADY: The Ancient Ones knew a great deal about this universe and the fundamental processes by which it is governed. Far more than our human society, or even those of us who dabble in spellcraft. At a civilizational level, what we term “magic” was believed to a mechanical process which could be learned, taught, and understood, with many of the arcane and ceremonial frills therefore largely removed. As a result, the extradimensional element of the Cthulhoid forces could be broadly countered-
TINY: Hold on, Lady. There’s so much gobbledygook and jargony handwaving here, I can’t understand half of what either you or Quince are saying. What in the hell does “extra-dimensional” mean?
LADY: There’s no simple way to answer that with any true accuracy, and a mathematically complex answer would have us here for hours. Suffice it to say that we experience but one of countless iterations (or planes) of reality. Extradimensional beings may move between these levels, or even exist within multiple planes at once.
TINY: Planes?
LADY: (ignoring him) These latter beings, if they should be ‘killed’ on this level of reality, may yet maintain an existence in others. By this method, they are functionally immortal, unkillable unless an individual were to find a way to destroy the being on each plane in which it holds existence. Failing to do this, even the absolute destruction of such a being on this level of reality would simply be a minor hindrance to it.
THOMAS: Christ.
LADY: However, for beings knowledgeable of the inner workings of the universe, extra-dimensional creatures may be bound, trapped, banished, or even killed through the utilization of certain thaumaturgical principles. I believe that the Ancient Race were able to weaponize these abilities, developing magical principles which enabled them to fight Cthulhu and its spawn to a standstill.
THOMAS: And how many of these spells do we currently have knowledge of?
LADY: Hardly any.
THOMAS: (sighs)
LADY: You must understand, as I believe it, the development of these principles was the outcome of an entire civilization of beings to which thaumaturgy was merely another branch of science devoting itself to the innovation and manufacture of weaponized spellcraft. By comparison, all we have to go off of are a handful of writings from mad sages and deranged poets. But theoretically, these mechanisms were discovered once, and could be discovered again.
Without giving any other sign that she has finished, LADY strides to her chair and sits down. After a moment, DR. SHORT clears his throat, and DR. NONNE changes the slide. The projection on the wall now reads, “BIOLOGY”.
DR. SHORT: This brings us to the final strength of the Ancient Race, that of biological innovation. As I understand it, they delighted in experimental manipulation of genetic information. In point of fact, there is some evidence to suggest that the Ancient Race were the very progenitors of all Earthly life as we know it today.
THOMAS: You’re not saying these ancient alien fuckers birthed humanity out of test tubes.
DR. SHORT: Not at all. But, evidently, there are some writings to suggest that they created our antediluvian ancestors.
TINY: …anti-
LADY: Old, Tiny. It means old.
TINY: (muttering) Then just say “old”…
DR. SHORT: All of this is a digression from the subject at hand. In addition to the manufacture of specialized viral agents (though that is almost purely the result of an educated assumption, rather than any hard evidence to indicate such), the Ancient Race were known to employ the usage of specialized biological slaves, known as “shoggoths”. A highly adaptable entity, capable of molding itself into whatever form the situation calls for, the shoggoth almost certainly proved a highly capable and nigh-indestructible force on the battlefield. One may imagine legions of the things, balls of biomass twenty feet in diameter rolling menacingly across mountain ranges or the sea floor, unhindered by an environmental difficulties, unsleeping, uneating, single-mindedly hunting their opponents. A formidable weapon, indeed.
THOMAS: (abruptly, and loudly) Damn it, that’s where I’ve seen those barrel things before! In Dr. Freygan’s lab! (NEMO flinches, almost imperceptibly.) He had a giant mirror, and they were… they were making-
DR. SHORT: Yes. It is the belief of both myself and Miss Orleans that Dr. Freygan had created a window through time in order to observe the Ancient Race and their manufacture of shoggoths, with the intent of replicating the process.
THOMAS: So you’re saying that we met the world’s foremost authority on the creation of this biological superweapon, and I-
DR. SHORT: You shot him dead, and shrewdly destroyed his primary source of information gathering. Yes.
THOMAS: …fuck.
DR. SHORT: Yes, “fuck” indeed. However, despite this significant loss of knowledge, we were still able to capture Dr. Freygan’s extensive notes, and we maintain access to those parts of his laboratory you failed to destroy. With this in mind, it might be said that we are now the de facto authorities on the manufacture of shoggoths, should we ever turn our attention and resources to such a project. In fact, it is not inconceivable that we could even create a window into the past similar to the one you destroyed, for observational purposes.
NEMO: (flatly) So, to summarize, in order to defeat Cthulhu and his armies, a united civilization spanning the entire globe utilized technology we don’t understand, magic we can’t begin to comprehend, and biological weaponry which we haven’t even scratched the surface of figuring out how to create (let alone control), and with all this they were only able to fight them to a standstill?
DR. SHORT: That is my understanding, yes.
NEMO: So, to quote Tiny, what you’re saying is, we’re fucked.
DR. SHORT: Not at all, Nemo. We have one advantage which the Elder Race did not possess.
THOMAS: And that is?
LADY: “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.”
There is a brief silence.
TINY: Come again?
DR. SHORT: “In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.” We have a single advantage which the Ancient Ones did not. Millions of years ago, a second cataclysm (again, of unknown provenance) sank the microcontinents of Ponape and R’lyeh into the depths of the Pacific Ocean. For a hundred million years, there Cthulhu and his armies have slept.
TINY: For a hundred million years. Asleep. Folks, how sure are we that they didn’t all just vaporize in this cataclysm thing?
LADY: “That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.” Cthulhu and his brethren but sleep. Even dormant, the Great Old Ones’ influence seeps into the dreams of those able to channel it. The cults of Cthulhu did not arise independently across the globe from mere happenstance. His malevolent will calls out, even from the depths.
TINY: And when are these Great Old Ones gonna wake up?
DR. SHORT: “When the stars are right.” Or, more concretely, when somebody wakes them.
There is a brief silence.
THOMAS: (clearing his throat) Well, then. It seems to me that until such a point as we are able to unite humanity in utilizing ancient magics and incomprehensibly alien technologies against an apocalyptic extradimensional threat, it would be wise for us to do absolutely everything in our power to ensure that Cthulhu and his minions stay exactly where they are.
DR. SHORT: That is an accurate summation of my position, yes.
THOMAS: In that case … (he takes a moment to retrieve a cigarette from his pocket, lights it, inhales, and exhales) …in that case, I suggest that we get to work.

Hi, I'm going to CSUS in next semester as an exchange student and looking for some classes just for fun and experiencing. I want some... special classes which I can't take in my country/university. Could anyone please recommend me some? History department or other also can be nice!
Actually I'm considering KINS11/15 , Thea1/9, Dnce4A, Hist10. Please tell me if one of those is not that good
Thank u!

Some background I have not seen or talked to my father in nearly 20 years due to my parents divorce and his deep depression taking control of his life.
So a few months ago I learned my father had become homeless and has been living in a VA homeless shelter since Nov.
Back in March I recieved a phone call from a cancer research center because he had been late to his chemo appt. And I was a secondary contact. They could not tell me anything at the time because he had not sign a Herpa form. I told my mother but not my little sister.
We both agreed not to tell her until the time was right due to her going through some mental health issues.
Well this week has been a shitty one. My sister voluntarily went into a 72 hr hold and got out yesterday. She is okay now and I believe she will pull herself together with our support. However not even 3 hrs later she got a Facebook message from a nurse looking for siblings of our father to find a next of kin.
It brought her to tears and my mother and stepfather had to handle the phone call to our dad.
It turns out that he has esophageal cancer and he is terminal. But he is going through chemo and he was lucid enough to have an hr long phone call with my sister and I. He told us what had happened how he got there and he if anything wants to reconnect and apologize for the years he had wasted being stuck in his head we told him a few good and some bad things that happened in our lives and we told him that whatever he what's to do we would do our best to help.
Tomorrow we will have to call him again along with his social worker in order to get a power of attorney signed to myself being that my sister does not have the mental capability to take on the responsibility.
Years ago I stopped crying every night due to how my life was going, to my trauma of not having my dad, not living my life, being angry all the time but I eventually accepted it and moved on and considered him dead. My sister is beginning to take back control so I'm in a better position to take on the responsibilities.
Today was the first time I talked to him in nearly 20 years and I couldn't even recognize his voice.
I spent years hating him, then not thinking of him and today I just felt sorry for him. As much as I want to hate him and tell him off I just couldn't because I don't want to further anymore pain for him. I'd rather give him the opportunity to make a mends and to allow him to die peacefully.
I just don't know what I'm looking for in this thread, nor do I have any idea on where to start after we have him sign the paperwork.
Tomorrow I'll be calling him again to make sure the paperwork is signed and to talk with his doctors to find out more info about his situation and what I need to know for the future.
My family is concerned about how I'm dealing with it all due to the fact I left home and I'm states away all alone, but I tell them I'm just numb to it and not to worry and we should focus more on my sister since they are closer together (living wise)
I'm honestly fine I have my cat to keep me comfy and I have my job and peers listening to me and just being there if I need them.
So can anyone here be able to tell me what I should expect for my father's cancer, any advice on being a power of attorney? Anything helps and I thank you for reading

You charge me most unjustly.

Father in law is in ICU with no chance of recovery. He was never married, so no spouse. He leaves 6 adult children (one of them is my wife). Also two surviving siblings. He has no living parents. No will or power of attorney.
Children have all agreed to terminate life support. One brother has conceded directive to the children. His sister objects to removing him from life support. She wanted him moved to another hospital (this was rejected by the Drs) then asked to bring him home and be his primary caregiver (she's not qualified to render the care he needs). So now she simply opposes the directive to end life support or sign a DNR.
Drs at the hospital have stated they cannot do anything unless all parties are in agreement. It was our understanding the decision went to next of kin. Since no spouse, it would be the direct descendants. As we interpret what we know, she doesn't have legal standing unless all 6 of his kids defer to her.
Is there a statute codifying what the Drs are saying? What is the legal process in a dispute like this? At this point, keeping him on life support is bordering on inhumane. What can we do?

WEST­ERN FLAG
Thu 8 - Thu 22 June
4am-11:59pm
Western Flag (Dark Park)

GREED/ RAKUS/ GIERIG: INSTALL­ATION

Thu 8 - Sun 11 June
12pm-5pm
Contemporary Art Tasmania
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Contemporary Art Tasmania
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TRANCE

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CITY OF HOBART DARK MOFO WINTER FEAST

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NGARNDA

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INTER­FACIAL INTI­MACIES

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SILENT SYM­PHONY

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BOONG

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WITH­OUT US YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER LEARNT ABOUT LOVE

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WALLS OF SKIN

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OGOH-OGOH: THE PURGING

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Ogoh‑Ogoh: The Purging (Dark Park)

DARK PARK

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GREED/ RAKUS/ GIERIG: PERFOR­MANCE

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Greed/ Rakus/ Gierig: Performance (Dark Park)

THIS BITTER EARTH

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This Bitter Earth (Dark Park)
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This Bitter Earth (Dark Park)

SPECTRA

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spectra (Dark Park)
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spectra (Dark Park)

BLUE VELVET LOUNGE

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Blue Velvet Lounge (Dark Park)
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THE GATHER­ING

Thu 8 June
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Doors 6pm
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SQUARE­PUSH­ER + GUESTS PLAID

Thu 8 June
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Odeon
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THE RED ROOM

Thu 8 June
11:59pm-4am
Undisclosed

https://darkmofo.net.au/program/free?ctm_audience=dark--mofo&ctm_topic=dark-mofo&utm_marketing_tactic=awareness
Our nocturnal art playground Dark Park returns, along with an abundance of free art, events, and hang out spots. Get ready to explore the city. Dress accordingly.
The Eleventh Hour
Dark Park Western Flag spectra Greed/ Rakus/ Gierig Ogoh-ogoh: The Purging This Bitter Earth
Blue Velvet Lounge
Silent Symphony
Walls of Skin
Giant Teddy
Music at Mona
kin Presented by YIRRAMBOI + Dark Mofo

I need some advice, please.
My partner of 6 years (M, 30s) told me (F 30s) recently that he does not want to get married. Apparently, it’s not me; it’s anyone. He says he is not a fan of marriage/weddings and that there is other things he’d “rather do”.
We have a good relationship, we love, respect, and trust each other, and I don’t particularly want to end things, but I’m not sure I see a way past this. My future just feels like a big “????” right now.
We live separately (with others) but near to each other, see each other regularly and overall have a good relationship. We both work full time and have our own finances, but we share costs for holidays, trips, activities etc. We have fun, we care for and support each other no matter what, we haven’t ever really argued before and we do love each other. We’re happy. It is the the longest relationship we’ve been in - for both of us. I love spending time with him, I miss him when I don’t see him for a few days and I enjoy our dynamics, our adventures, our life together thus far. He’s my person, my best friend, and I don’t want anyone else. I want a life with him, I want a marriage.
In the past, we’ve mentioned, and talked about like things like moving in together (buying a house), children, marriage etc before - and with marriage, the answer was always “maybe”, from him. We had a recent conversation which I stated I felt I didn’t have much to show for a six year relationship and asked about the future. He told me he wants to move in with me (to our own place after me living at his for a while) and he wants a child with me. He just doesn’t want marriage. However, I do.
I feel devastated. I keep crying randomly when I think about it, and I’m just sad and a little scared. I’m not sure if it’s a dealbreaker for me or not. I feel like the world has lost colour. I feel like there is less hope left in the world.
I just feel so incredibly upset that I’m not gonna have the two best experiences/days of my life, and I’m fully grieving that they’re not gonna happen for me, for us. I’ve always wanted a “princess” moment for a proposal, and I want us to be married, I want us to wear rings and be husband and wife. I want our potential kids having the same surname as us. I want the safety and security that marriage would bring me. I’m saddened at the fact I won’t be his “next of kin”. If sometime happens to him, then I won’t have any legal safeguards as “just” his partner. But I do want us to marry for love, not specifically for legal reasons or other obligations.
I’m not actually fussed on having a fancy big wedding - that’s not either of our styles - I’d be happy with a small registry office wedding with our nearest and dearest, saying our vows and exchanging rings. I feel like all that has been ‘taken’ from me. Knowing I’ll probably never have these moments and feelings is killing me. It’s already hard seeing marriage/wedding related stuff online, it feels like a punch in the chest. Repeatedly.
He says he’s serious about me, he loves me, and he’s committed to me. As I am to him. He wants to live with me, buy a house together and have a child. Just no marriage. I do realise I need to speak with him more to just to definitely clarify things, but how do I even attempt to get over this? I’m worried that things will end badly or there will be resentment or bad feelings, or that I will have no legal rights and/or financial issues. I do realise this could be the case even if we did marry; but at least there is the ‘safety net’ of marriage legally speaking.
If we do move forward with current plans then it’s me who takes most of the risk. And without marriage, it doesn’t feel like there is enough ‘reward’. Yes, I will have my partner, but I already have that currently - I just want him to love me enough to share his life with me and marry me. How do I learn to live with these feelings?
Before this conversation I had absolutely NO intention of ending things or finding anyone else; and I don’t really have any of these intentions as I love my partner, but I just don’t know how to deal with all this. Any advice would be great!
TL;DR: Partner doesn’t want marriage, I do. How can I learn to live with it?
Thankyou.

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