Hi all
Relapsed yesterday after a night of binge drinking. I screwed up once again after years of trying to kick away this addiction.
Now i feel the worst i've ever felt in a long time. Chest and throat feel tight, sort of like when someone just scared you if you know what i mean, with this lingering feeling of impending doom, as if something REALLY bad is about to happen.
I can't take no more, i seriously need help to get better. I'll take any advice, i tried meditating for 80 minutes this morning upon waking, i am not feeling better, i am very desperate, i am feeling worse and worse by the passing minutes, my chemicals are the most fucked up they've been in a while.
Please advise...

(Left and right = my point of view)
HI, id like to ask if by any chance anyone here know about brain damage, first things first, my history, when i was 5 i hit my head in the corner of my house, i hit my forehead on top, a little bit for the right, i dont remember it but i still have a small scar, then at 6-7 yrs old it happened again at school, i hit my forhead in the bottom, and in the middle, a little bit above the eyes and got another scar, then at idk 9 yrs old i hit my forhead again, but this was way, way, way more severe, i was running at the school really fast, and ill not explain exactly how but i fall down about less than 1 meter, this one hit hard my skull, wich still today is deformed and its above my left eye, with the scar being with my eyebrow, when it happened i passed out and some people started carrying me to the school board and someone from administration took me to my parents office and every time this happened i had to take a painful anesthesia, wich traumatized me for life, its not a general fobia, its more like a trauma, i cant stand needles in a hospital context for example, i start to get symptoms of a panic attack, but the point of this post it, should i consider a MRI? Because at the time my parents just didnt tought about it, and it hit my left frontal lobe, a very important part, like my uncle had a similar hit in terms of force and turned into a veggie, im pretty sure that something this did, since i reflected abt it ive been obsessed about researching about brain areas, i know by heart a few broadmann areas, more complex structures that i have more interest, and yes ive been diagnosed with aspergeautism 1. If you got curious and need any more info, feel free to ask.

The thought of using logic may evoke negative emotion for many seekers. This is understandable, as awakening is ultimately about non-conceptual mental shifting. But here is the hidden pickle. Awakening is not liberation. And liberation happens to revolve intimately around a particular concept known as the self. As like dissolves like, concept dissolves concept. Attraction and repulsion may be driven by emotion, but the strings of attachment are made of reason. To dissolve this attachment, we may need to replace shallow reason with higher vision.

Identity -- the core of attachment

Humans go through a natural progression of identity. This begins rudimentarily during the first year after birth. At first, there is neither separation, nor even basic understanding. As times move, the child accumulates certain hunches and ideas of separation, causation, good, and bad. These concepts and intuitions build upon one another toward ever more complex social awareness. Eventually, most such minds find themselves engulfed and entangled in a mess of social relations, expectations, and duties. Often this state of identity brings with it an assortment of suffering.
For many, the fear of loss prevents letting go of existing ideas of self and purpose. But for some, circumstances arise that expose cracks in the foundation. Whether from unsurpassable moral dilemma, or from intolerable identity crisis, existing assumptions can prove unsustainable. The worldview has grown sour, and the self-concept may need flushing.
And this is where concepts may come to rescue. It so happens that when existing mental structures -- such as the self-concept -- are no longer tenable, one of the most faciliatory amenities is the availability of suitable insight. This insight may include concepts that allow standing dilemmas to be resolved gracefully. The process, however, may entail dissolution of the old self-concept, to find new identity. And said identity may not be separate or individual, nor necessarily anything at all.

Path of building and dissolving the separate self

While many details are omitted for brevity, below is an outline of the process of ego and identity development throughout life. This outline pulls from Klein's object-relations theory (1946), Piaget's theory of cognitive development (1977), Fowler's Stages of Faith (1981), and Kohlberg's theory of moral development (~1981).

• [~0-6 months] -- transitory objects -- Self and caregiver as either all good or all bad, depending on current level of gratification or fulfillment. Pure, unrestrained attraction and repulsion. No real concepts.
  
• [~6-24 months] -- increasing object-permanence -- Self and others as increasingly persistent entities with positive and negative aspects. Primitive concepts.
  
• [~2-7 years] -- basic agency -- Increasing awareness that different people have different goals, desires, and knowledge -- otherwise known as theory of mind. Primarily focused on satisfying own personal desires within constraints of interference from others. Essentially selfish, but may possess emotional empathy. The self is seen as more-or-less wholly separate and independent from others. Limited understanding of social cause-and-effect or meaningful relation to others -- outside of satisfying immediate emotional and material needs.
  
• [~7-12 years] -- interpersonal accord -- Individuals are graded by how they treat their peers. Identity begins fairly simple, mainly based on remembered past events and deeds of self and others. Basic sense of community, belonging, and reciprocity.
  
• [~12+ years] -- authority and conformity -- Group affiliations are strengthened and made formal. One's identity is no longer one-off, but tied to affiliated tribes, or social circles. Purpose and morality revolve around group norms. Religious or political affiliation is likely. And religious or political dogma may be taken and propagated. Parroting is common. Most people stop here. They may, however, change affiliations from one group or authority to another.
  
• [~21+ years] -- self-determination and individuation -- When affiliations or group norms are found to stifle one's emotional or spiritual needs, one may enter into a process of individuation, or "finding oneself". Often one's identity is built anew, based upon personalised values. Existing relationships may be pruned, with duties now customised for each relationship. Often this is the most confident and egoic stage. The self-concept is elevated to top-tier importance. Most professionals and businesspeople reside here. As for spirituality, this is usually where you find spellbinding and manifesting. The core belief is that whatever the ego wants can be willed into existence -- mind over matter.
  
• [~35+ years] -- phenomena and universals -- Sometimes even during or after "finding oneself", there may arise doubts about the "legitimacy" or sustainability of living with attachment to personal narratives and proclamations. Or maybe after reflecting on personal or societal suffering it becomes clearer that individual paths and pursuits depend on the exact arrangement of past circumstances. Moreover, it may be seen that while each person faces case-specific struggles, many underlying similarities exist between individuals, their confusion, and their troubles. After such insights may arise, priority may shift toward living by universally applicable values or principles. The personal narrative is thus generalised, and identity finds closer affinity for living virtuously or conscientiously, as opposed to prioritising prior plans or one-off stories. Ego is still present, but its grasp is softened and its focus is broadened beyond the individual.
  
• [~45+ years] -- transpersonal and trans-phenomenal -- Occasionally even while living virtuously, personal, social, or further suffering or attachment may pose dilemmas. For example, it may be found that harm or wrongdoing to others cannot truly be avoided. Or maybe one's power to make a positive difference seems implausible. Or the world's evil is simply too great to counter. In cases like these, one may need to trace the origins of people and phenomena -- of both good and evil -- to transcend these quantities. For those of gentle background, a simple glimpse of awakening may be enough. But if one has seen too much evil, the now-strengthened walls of resistance may need careful reform. And this is where logic may help, as for example the learning and integration of dependent arising, shadow work, or even behavioural psychology. If the process of identity integration is successful, one may find the higher Self.
  
• [~45+ years] -- not-self and emptiness -- Even after all the above, and especially in cases of chronic illness or pending demise, attachment to the greater being may still be too much. Though less dependent on logic, and much more on intuition, reflection, and trained endogenous orienting, this final skill in letting go can come in handy. For example, if one were burning alive, it were perhaps better to see the emptiness of sensation, or at least the beauty of pain.
  

Concepts, attachment, and falling back

Ego, identity, and worldview development involve the accumulation of insight and concepts on the play of life and matter. Awakening itself may provide some of the possible spectrum of insight, but there are key pieces that require actual experience and living. Progression through stages is enabled by a combination of insight and dilemma. The absence of either can spell stagnation. The absence of insight in particular can result in prolonged suffering.
The role of dilemma is to provide the emotional impetus for changing attachment to concepts and relations. This is important because concepts, once acquired, stick around. Even upon awakening or liberation, concepts are still there. What changes after each emotionally significant event is not only the possible acquiring of new concepts and insight, but the reconfiguring of emotional attachment to particular ideas and perspectives. This reconfiguring is the essence and meaning of moral development.
One might think none of this matters post-awakening since awareness may become seemingly distanced from appearances. But here is the catch. When living in society, one will be interacting with others. And that interaction will sometimes get tense. Not all events will be ones for which prior conditioning is available. And this means that actual thinking will still be needed. Which means further, that actual concepts will be employed. When interacting in society, concept happens.
Depending on the level of tension and novelty, intuitive flow may break. When this happens, one falls back to one's previous stage of conceptual understanding and ego development. This is often called the contracted state. If one took shortcuts to arrive at awakening, without seeking liberation through inner work and proper understanding of interdependence, falling back to the contracted state is likely to entail significant ignorance and suffering.
The thing about flow is that it involves the automatic expression of prior experience. Even if no concepts are being used consciously, prior concepts are still expressing implicitly and subconsciously. These two phenomena -- emotional attachment to prior perspectives, and implicit expression of prior concepts -- is why awakening is not liberation. Even though concepts are inherently arbitrary, there is still value in having the right ones in the mental toolkit.

Summary

In the game of awakening, the thought of concepts may bring cringe. But just as inner work may seek to resolve hidden conflict, mind work may help to dissolve mind worms. Human identity progresses through a series of stages. And each successful step brings us closer to liberation. The goal is not attachment, but rather its dissolution. Concepts of higher awareness serve as tools to dissolve lower assumptions. The more stressful times get, the more useful are tools of insight. Among the most in need of dissolve are beliefs in personal separation and doership. Yet others too, like identifying with "good" and rejecting "bad", can sustain suffering. Sometimes it helps not only to feel connected, but to understand how the pieces fit.

My attempt to invent a novel true AGI is with a few design considerations.

• Knowledge database and the planning on tasks/jobs are two separate processes
• Perception and thus the state of a system is both physical and mental. Mental has something to do with the individual's overall goal

I have an idea that the agent's casual goal would be exploration. Then whenever needed, the knowledge gained from the exploration can be used for a specific task. There is already active research conducted on this called Voyager https://voyager.minedojo.org/ . There the entire ecosystem is built on LLM used for robotic agent's exploration in Minecraft. The explored skill is stored in a skill library. Using LLM for this purpose is very neat because LLM can describe a lot of concepts on how a robot perceives the world. At inference, the required skills can be retrieved from the skill library.
Several improvements can be made to this already well-made architecture, namely: * Introduce LLM-re-training at the will of the robot. This is say, when the robot wants to be smarter * The LLM can use visual input - perhaps lexically described object detection - to aid and improve judgement * Skill library is not enough, instead, we can also have a fact library. Thus, the agent also writes facts to the library. Skill library is something that the agent is capable to do. Fact library is something that is theoretically possible to be done in this world. * Confidence of a specific judgement by the LLM can even be parsed by checking the similarity between judgement and known facts * The fact library is structured with the GOAP style blocks consisting of input_state-action-output_state . Additionally, each block's action is constructed with Subject-Verb-Object. Remember, the state is physical and also mental * Planning for any given job is done with GOAP. LLM can give some knowledge details if necessary, but not a "how" question. This is matched with the knowledge library. Eventually, the knowledge library should result in the skill library (everything with the subject 'I'). If the planning abstraction is good enough, this can be executed, otherwise, it can be further optimized with the aid of LLM.

Approximating missing information

As we construct Voyager's fact library as GOAP, it is very clear about the unknown required state based on the existing known blocks. Close enough good planning can still be designed.

Action points

Try GOAP

Try Voyager

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Chess: Life lessons wrapped in 64 squares
I've been playing chess for a while now and couldn't help but notice how it mirrors our lives in so many ways. Here are some interesting analogies I made between chess concepts and real-life situations:

1. Pieces: Each chess piece represents an aspect of life. Pawns embody the small decisions and everyday actions that determine our path, while knights symbolize the leaps of faith and non-linear thinking. Bishops represent long-range planning and foresight, while rooks symbolize steadfastness and endurance. The queen embodies versatility and adaptability, while the king holds the core values and priorities we protect in our lives.
   
2. Development: As in life, to win you need to actively develop in chess. By improving the positions of your pieces, you're increasing the chances of success. Working towards personal growth and self-improvement helps in accomplishing our goals.
   
3. Pawn Structure: A solid pawn structure is like the cumulative effect of the small things in life. As we improve and solidify our everyday habits and decisions, they build a strong foundation that helps us tackle bigger challenges and difficulties down the road.
   
4. Castling: Proactively moving towards the safety or stability — much like castling can be pivotal in deciding the course of our lives. Avoiding risky businesses, taking calculated financial steps, or sticking to a balanced lifestyle can help maintain our well-being.
   
5. Tactics: Life is full of tactical decisions, like when to take risks, when to stay calm, or when to make bold moves. Likewise, in chess, recognizing opportunities and seizing them could lead you to a checkmate.
   
6. King Safety: Protecting what's most important in life is much like ensuring king safety in chess. Focusing on essentials like health, family, and financial stability can act as a safeguard against unexpected challenges.
   
7. Stages of the Game: Chess can be viewed as a metaphor for the stages of life. The opening represents our early years — learning, exploration, and laying the groundwork for future success. The middle game symbolizes our adulthood, where we face challenges, make important decisions, and work towards long-term goals. The endgame, much like our later years, is where life's accumulated wisdom comes into play – and as the number of pieces on the board reduces, it parallels the decline in our physical and mental capacities with age; yet, we still strive to make the most out of the limited resources we have, utilizing experience and wit to navigate these twilight years.
   

So, what do you guys think about these comparisons? Have you ever noticed these connections while playing, or maybe have some further observations of your own?

I've had two software internships, I really enjoy programming.
I go to a university where you can be kicked out of the CS program, because a professor made a Data Structures & Algorithms entrance exam that if you don't pass, you get kicked out of the CS major with no way to get back in. Admittedly, this is my fault for not taking seriously, and it's only after I failed it that I'm working on my ability to write DSA code without references. I was naive and landed both my internships without DSA interviews, so I didn't start seriously practicing it until recently. I now know most companies ask DSA interviews.
My options are to stay at the same school by switching my major to Computer Engineering, or to transfer to another school to continue Computer Science.
I know I want to pursue software, and as a result, I feel almost like I'd be "wasting" time/energy on the EE-side of the CompEng degree. I have a specific school in mind that I would transfer to, and I've talked to their CS majors, their CS program is nowhere near as difficult in comparison, which means I'd have more time to practice DSA and make projects.
However, I'd be leaving behind all my mentors and friends at my current school. And I have to figure out a way to pay for the school I'd be transferring to, I'd be able to pay for most of it with my scholarships but not all of it. I was thinking about having a part-time campus job, or seeing if my current hybrid internship would allow me to be fully remote during the school year.
Can Computer Engineering majors give me their thoughts? Are there any projects I should do to see if CompEng is for me?

Hi.
I can't seem to get Chaos Scatter to work with VRayUVWRandomizer and VRayTriplanarTex.
I've plugged a VRayUVWRandomizer map (with stochastic tiling on) into the mapping source of a VRayTriplanarTex which in turn is plugged into the mapping source of a VRay bitmap with a b/w texture. I use this map to blend between two ground materials to create natural looking terrain.,,
Now I also want to use the same map structure to control the distribution of rocks on the ground using Chaos Scatter. However if I set scattering to "2D - on surfaces" and plug my map into the map slot under surface scattering, the distribution doesn't seem to be aligned with the b/w values of the map.
It seems that Chaos Scatter ignores the settings from the VRayUVWRandomizer: is there any way to fix or circumvent this? Can't seem to find any documentation that mentions this problem.
I also tried using TyFlow instead to scatter my rocks, but that doesn't seem to work with the UVWRandomizer either and I don't want to bake the map to a regular texture as I want to preserve the procedural nature of this setup.
Thanks!

Elements of S-block Elements of P-block
Concept of chemical reactions Representative elements properties Modern periodic table

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Good morning, We just started using Atlassian in our company, and we are gonna use it for scheduling and portfolio management, in order to be able to schedule as far as possible for the many projects we have. We suffer of resource "controversies" because many projects would like to use one specific guy that is "unique" in skills and functions, so we are trying to schedule the activities of all projects in order to not schedule any overwork for him and other important resources.
With Big Picture we have actually a good Gantt structure but we can't find how we can see a Gantt of all the projects, in order to assign resources and being sure they are not over assigned for one week. We also use Tempo and I find it very useful when I want to see which activities actually are assigned to the guy, but now i'm in the middle,
From BP I have a good scheduling tool, but even if I see overwork I cannot have a full picture (ironic) of all my projects, From Tempo I can see which activities are filling the time of my resources, but I cannot see how any change to scheduling impact every single project, Also when I move an activity on Tempo I'm not even sure it changes the scheduling on BP, so I don't know if I should make twice the same change of scheduling.
Sorry for my english, i'm not native. If you have any solution or workaround for portfolio management it will be useful, but I cannot (at least at the moment) suggest any add-on or app, especially if it's not free
Thanks again for any answer.

Examples are Rach 2/3, Scriabin pc, liszt sonata, Chopin ballades, Chopin fantasie, Bach busoni partita. I love how all of these have some sort of structural meaning + beautifully developed Melodie’s that resonates in the same way as a masterful novel would. If I had to pick one of these that reflects what I’m looking for the most, it would be the liszt b minor. The more I listen to it the more every note feels like it belongs there as a small but significant part in a great tale, and the way it closes on a quiet passage which recalls the heavenly theme from the “2nd” movement is….perfect, as I can’t rly describe it any other way. The structure just makes so much sense poetically and with the amazing themes it’s just an entire package. Anyways enough rambling, I appreciate any suggestions any of you leave, thanks!