​
Rachel Drori (nee Bobnow) had a net worth of $350m prior to the Daily Harvest poisoning. On June 1st, 2023, Forbes published an article on the wealthiest women in the U.S.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/gigizamora/2023/06/01/kylie-jenner-rihanna-and-the-other-richest-self-made-women-under-40/?sh=3acbb02563c9
"Daily Harvest founder Rachel Drori was worth $350 million last year as a newcomer based on the $1.1 billion valuation by private investors of her meal delivery company. A June 2022 recall of its Lentil & Leek Crumbles bruised the company’s sales and helped knock down Forbes’ estimate of the company’s value, along with lower comparable public company valuations"
Assuming the valuation was cut in half, this would put her net worth at $175m, not counting any money she made prior, her husband's wealth, and what her and her husband will inherit. A video of their wedding, which probably costs more than what most victims of the poisoning make in 5 years, can be seen here:
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4049ua
Her husband, Avi Drori, also attended Columbia b-school. While there, in a published article dated November 2008 in the CB letter, Drori posited a thesis where Marvel Entertainment stock should be shorted (make a bet the stock will go down) and it is worth $18.
Cue the circus music. A year later, Disney acquired Marvel for $50 per share.
https://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/01/business/media/01disney.html
​
Amazing acquisition, returning $18b in movie revenue alone in the next ten years.
https://comicbook.com/marvel/news/disney-has-made-18-billion-since-marvel-purchase-2009/
​
Does it matter that Avi may or may not be a good investor? No. Avi could never work a day in his life and will still be one of the wealthiest men in the U.S. (even if he divorced his wife.) Avi is a trust fund baby but not just any trust fund baby. Avi's father is Z'ev Drori, the former CEO of Tesla and he sold his company Monolithic Memories was purchased by AMD for $437m in 1987. His Beverly Hills home alone is worth $30 million! Whatever his wealth was then, it is safe to say this smart man tripled it over the last 35 years. And that money is likely going to be split by two people, one of whom is Rachel's husband.
​
Article on Zev Drori as Tesla CEO
https://www.autoblog.com/2007/11/28/breaking-tesla-names-zeev-drori-as-new-permanent-ceo/
Why is this important? Is this a bad thing?
No, it's not a bad thing. It's a good thing that someone was able to create a company, then sell it and buy a massive home. It's impressive Rachel was able to build a food company all online and create mega wealth. But despite being wealthy prior to Daily Harvest (her name is connected to a expensive property in Manhattan) and despite the fact that her and her husband will inherit maybe hundreds of millions, Rachel is an a-hole. She lacks integrity and is not a good person, her actions demonstrate that.
She does have a chance to do right by everyone. I propose Rachel creates a $20m fund to pay for ongoing medical tests, research, and monitoring of all the victims using her personal wealth. Her father in law could kick in half this money. To put it in perspective, at Rachel's age, even if she only nets $150m from the sale of Daily Harvest, an inheritance of $100m, and this doubles every ten years, Rachel and her husband will have a combined net worth of $1b by 60 to 63 years old. She will be a billionaire while it is possible that victims have long lasting effects. We will need testing, blood work, exams, etc for years to come. She can pay annually $4m over 5 years. The interest she can make just in a 5% CD on her fortune pays for it in less than a year.

I got married earlier this year and because we had no help from either of our parents, we were left to pay for our wedding with our own money (which is totally fine, I’m not trying to complain just explaining the situation). I had saved about $20,000 that I ended up using to pay for my nursing program out of pocket. Looking back, I would’ve been better off using my life savings for our wedding and just getting a government student loan, but I can’t go back in time, and I can’t change things. From our wedding, I put the majority of it on our credit card, because I am just a nurse (i work in a pediatric cicu), I don’t make that much money. I now have about $25,000 in credit card debt. This truly is super embarrassing that I let it get this bad as a am typically very good with my money. I am wishing now that we would have just eloped but again, I can’t change the past. However, I am looking to possibly consolidate the credit card debt, or at least get a lower interest rate there’s something else. After doing some research, the “national debt relief“ website looks like it may be a good option, but I want to get some other peoples input into this. My goal is to have the credit card debt paid off by the end of 2024. Does anyone have any insight to this or any other suggestions? I’ve been picking up 1 to 2 extras per week (working 56 hours a week with dying kids which isn’t ideal) to start paying down the credit card debt but I’m still interested in getting a third-party involved to help. Any suggestions? I also just want to mention that I’ve cut down all of my bills as much as I can, but with the cost of living and the prices of things skyrocketing, it’s not like I can go without food or gas to get me to work so I don’t need any suggestions about cutting my bills down! Just some insight as to a third-party I can get involved to help consolidate and get a lower interest rate! Thanks!!!

I (M26) recently got to work in a really cool company, after working previously for a shitty one. Salary is adequate and I get benefits too. My family is middle-class. Ever since my dad found out how much I earn, they've been heavily relying on me for expenses. I also have a stepmother who's unemployed and my dad had two kids with her. She's a bit of a b*tch at times and has poor parenting skills. My stepsiblings are spoiled and mostly get what they want whenever they whine about it, and I'm always the one my dad asks to buy stuff for them. I love my stepsiblings, but I just hate how they're raised to be. For example: if my stepbrother doesn't like what we're having for dinner, he'll cry and won't eat unless we get him what he wants, which is always the same thing over, and over again; f*cking chicken nuggets. It's pretty costly to get fast-food everyday even for someone earning well, not to mention how unhealthy it is. I used to love those special times I saved enough so I could go for some McDonald's but now I've pretty much had enough of it. There are times where we'd have fast-food for dinner for days straight just because of my little stepbrother's whining. Weeks ago, that certain little brother of mine got some awards at their school, and naturally I was proud of him, so I wanted to reward him by taking him out to the mall. So, we did, and I got him some toys. When we got home and he told me he wanted more and I said we couldn't because I don't have money to spare, he went on with his tantrums and threw away the toys he I just got him. I was so f*cking pissed and told him I wasn't going to treat him again if that's how he'll behave. He's 7 years old.
​
I know some of you will probably say that I should just learn to say no, but as I mentioned earlier, I worked years at a shitty company; and in those years I mostly abstained from helping out with my family as I was barely earning enough for myself. Now that I finally got a good paying job, I just felt like I have to pay them back for all those years they still took me in when I probably should've moved out of the house for someone my age. (For context, I work in the animation industry. The community is great, but the wages and working hours are just hell.)
​
Fast forward to today, I finally moved out of the house, but they still reach out for financial help. My dad works as a car mechanic and that is their sole source of income, my stepmother doesn't even bother to look for ways to earn money. My dad doesn't have insurance or anything and he has some existing ailments and sometimes I just get worried about how I'm going to take care of them when they retire, or their ailment impairs their ability to work. I also have two brothers that I help out with their education. Both are now just entering college, the other one had to stop schooling for a bit because of financial difficulties. I plan to live with my girlfriend soon, but I haven't been able to make any progress because I'm having trouble saving up. Sometimes I save enough to treat myself, but I feel guilty afterwards. Sometimes these thoughts just pile up in my head and I get worried they might get the best of me someday and I'll just lose everything and myself. I just had to get this out. Thank you for reading.

Hi everyone! I've been a lurker here for a while, and I've been reading different stories about people who worked in crypto sharing their regrets and/or spiteful feelings here, so it encouraged me to share my own. I never really post or comment on reddit except in gaming subreddits for help, so this is a first! I hope I don't bore you to death, but I imagine it might feel a little nice venting it out.
In hindsight, I didn't realise this would be such a long, long read, so please forgive the wall of text. This is really really long, but I don't care; I just wanted to get it all out to actual people. Read it if you will.
Lemme get some key points outta the way so we don't start off on the wrong foot
· at the beginning, I was never really "pro" or "anti" crypto
· I didn't lose any money lol
· throughout the whole thing, I was crypto neutral
· I managed to stop the project before it launched
· please do not refer me to suicide hotlines, I'm already going through therapy
· I was ignorant about crypto at the beginning; but now I know, so please, no lectures!
· I haven't "made money" either; in fact, I put a stop to the thing my friends were working on.
· I don't think I'm very smart, in fact, I feel stupid and useless after this whole debacle
· This doesn't really have a happy or "bad" ending, so please don't expect a happy ending. Also, again, please, please refrain from "giving advice." Just hear this out, and that's it. Make fun of this or ridicule it or empathise with it, I don't care; just don't "give advice" or "reassure" or whatever. Have the decency to just read something like this and let it be. Thank you!!
About myself: I don't really have a background in tech, and most of this is rather confusing stuff (then and now). I'm actually never on social media or the internet too often. I'm a writer, musician, and artist (mostly writer and musician), and I've done administrative work, project management, and journalism work to get by. I'm currently studying my undergraduate degree. I'll go about this chronologically.
2021 Jan - Sep: one of my friends got into crypto. He's a programmer (and a good one at that). I observed from the sidelines, and he kept talking about how much money he's made by trading. The concept of it never made any sense to me, but I'm not a programmer and I trusted my friend, so I was like "well, good for you." I never really understood any of that trading hubbub either!
I never really paid attention to any of this stuff, I was usually out with my friends, working, making music, playing games, or just writing. I never even owned a twitter account until late 2021!
2021 Sep: My friend made a whole lot of money one day, and I was pleasantly surprised! This guy always had those chart things on his screen 24/7 (never closed) whenever we went to his house, so we were all like "what the heck, that's hard work, huh?" I was genuinely happy that he's gotten his big break, because I believed he deserved it. He's one of the most talented people I know. Turns out one of his friends ran this crypto project with all these strange buzzwords that I still couldn't quite understand and gave him some "airdrops" before the "governance" token things launched. Oh, this isn't the thing I worked for, by the way!
2021 Oct: I didn't know too much about crypto, but I got it's selling point (or, well, I was dumb enough to fall for it). At least according to them, it's internet money that you can send anywhere at any time that you "own" and no central authorities own whatsoever (now I know that this concept is just incredibly stupid, but bear with me). I mean, I wasn't really an anti-government nut (and I didn't really turn into one either), but my friend's adamant on it, so I was like "well, why not?" and put $1000 in — wired it to this exchange (hint: it's not FTX, Coinbase, or Binance). Long story short, I put some money into that "Sandbox" thing and made a good few hundred bucks when it went up. There wasn't any real reasoning other than "well, Sandbox is a game, and people must use it for things, right?"
Oh, also, sandbox did these giveaway things for some "alpha pass" where you play their game and post a screenshot on twitter and win one of these alpha pass NFTs that you can sell on the market. I lucked out, got one, immediately sold it — I made like $5000 reselling that thing at "floor price." I remember thinking "woah, these guys must really want to play this game," which was naive and stupid, I guess.
2021 Nov - 2022 March: I cashed that out (the exchange wires that money back into your bank account for you) and steered clear later, because the whole thing was too much for me, staring at those dumb charts watching lines go up and down. That was all the money I ever made from crypto. I used it to buy some much needed medical devices, a guitar, and.. well, a new mattress. I donated the remainder away. Every time I asked my programmer friends to explain something or the other, it's always handwaving to "DYOR!" Every source they pointed me to confused me even more, and now I know that's deliberate with these grifters.
2022 March - May: I was still in their group chat so I could see them talk about it every now and then. Sometimes I drop in my comments about real-world news. One day, my friends were talking about starting an actual business. This was something I had experience in, and as far as I've seen, anything tangible that anyone's ever done with crypto was usually with games. I've had this idea for a type of game that I really cherished, and one of my friends had experience as a game developer. It was a relatively simple idea.
Let me tell you though, I really loved this game subcategory. I'm even in a university society for it. It's been one of my lifelong dreams to see my idea come to life. So I pitched the idea in, cause why not? The subcategory was never done in crypto, so at least we'd have the advantage of novelty, I thought. They weren't really sure how to monetise it, so I said "why not monetise the characters?" It seemed reasonable at the time: the characters could act as access points to the game and anyone could buy new characters for like, what, 5 bucks? At least that's what I had in mind. They agreed, so I found a popular NFT project to pitch the idea for (since it made more sense to work under an organisation rather than going full indie into a space we had no reputation in yet).
At the time, my friends said making these characters NFTs would give people "real ownership" and be a way to "support digital artists by cutting out the middleman." I mean, as a writer and musician, that did appeal to me. I didn't really question much of it (and I know I should have, it should have been due diligence, that was careless on my part). I thought "maybe we could make these NFTs customisable, because that's what RPGs are about, right?" and we went ahead with that.
2022 April - June: Here's a reminder: I'm a social media hermit. I never get on it unless it's checking on someone on Facebook or Instagram (or messaging). I never had twitter until 2021! So, I've never heard of people like Molly White, Tante, David Gerard, Amy Castor, yada yada until around this time. One my friends showed me Dan Olson's "Line Goes Up." And man, what a watch that was. It confirmed my gut feelings about crypto, that this is all just... hollow, insane, crazy stuff. My heart sank after watching that video.
I remember googling "responses to Line Goes Up" because I was in denial back then, not because I "believed" in crypto but I just didn't want to admit I've wasted so much time and energy. And I remember how every single "response" was just... idiotic. At that point, I sent that video to that NFT organisation's discord and said "if we're all genuine about this, maybe we should watch this and try to improve ourselves." It was the whole sunk cost fallacy thing, I wanted to believe that I didn't waste my time being a complete dork.
But after a certain point, I just couldn't run away from it anymore. I told my friends "let's just switch to making a steam game, we haven't lost or earned any money yet." It was an idea that was doable with a steam game, like... all you had to do was just change the monetisation bit to having players spend 5 bucks buying it... on steam... lol. Ah, but my friends were like "no." They won't do it. They wanted to make NFTs, and I couldn't understand for the love of god why you would do that. It was my idea, they had never played a game like that in their lives, I was the only one with any exposure in that regard.
Also, I was the one making the art as well, like... the character sprites. I'd spent so much time drawing those character sprites, their features, etc. I spent some time making some music, and even some background lore that fit in with the other NFT project we were working under. I barely checked their stupid discord things or twitter posts since I was so busy actually drawing and writing stuff. This was a passion project for me, and I was focused on making the game. You have no idea how much I love these types of role-playing games (but I'm not going into detail as to what that is because I'm not so comfortable).
Little did my stupid ass realise that these things were a pyramid scheme, and I was right at the middle or bottom. Little did my naive ass realise that none of these people liked my idea or even cared; people like me doing actual stuff gave them legitimacy, so people like me were just... pawns, I guess. Being the idiot I was, I engaged with my real name and my real identity, because that's what honest people do when they're selling a fucking game they'd be proud of, right? What a mistake. And my friends who knew what this stuff is never stopped me from doing any of it while I naively put my name and reputation at the front. After watching line goes up and then reading more and more sources (and eventually stumbling across Buttcoin on reddit!) I reached the point of no return:
Crypto and blockchain were useless in all possible ways, they never made sense as a technology, they're filled with disgusting people with disgusting anarcho-capitalist ideals, and there will never be a point where the "blockchain" will ever find a use-case beyond grifting, speculating, gambling, and money laundering because that is inherent to this technology's design. It is irredeemable. NFTs were never about empowering artists like us and it could never even do that at all because the premise and technology are flawed to begin with!
That was my realisation over time after actually reading about this from critical sources (which, at the top of the hype, I thought wasn't even really there because I had bought into my programmer friends' narrative that this is just like the internet and "everybody is in.")
I only wish I realised it sooner.
2022 June - July: I vehemently begged my friends to stop. I didn't want to make or sell NFTs anymore after realising what it was. I didn't even want the money (and god knows I could use that money since it could pay off my father's debts, but not like this. Not by hurting other people who may just be in the same position as I am by "winning" or "doing really 'smart' stuff.")
No one listened. I was about to quit, until the NFT organisation we were working under announced a grant. I saw this as an opportunity to put a stop to my own friends making their own NFTs, and I grabbed it. I begged and pleaded them to apply for that grant, which they begrudgingly did. I applied for that grant thing and it got approved, and all my friends were really excited about it. They all agreed to not make NFTs anymore and just make a free-to-play game. We worded the grant that way too.
But it still didn't sit right with me personally. I agonised over it still. Sure, it's grant money now... but how did that bigger NFT organisation get that money? Obviously, by selling NFTs and collecting resale "royalties." I guess it didn't matter to my friends, but to me, that's blood money. None of them were writers or artists, by the way. They were just... tech people. Techbros, I guess.
Anyway, the grant thing works by having people vote for it, and you get as much money as the votes you get. Our idea was good and we actually had a skillset, so we got like a little over four digits, which is big to someone like me, at least!
But it still didn't sit right with me.
I agonised over it all the time, thinking about just how I had soiled and shat on my lifelong passion idea, and how my name was out there associated with these people.
I just couldn't stand it anymore. One day, I told my friends that I was fucking quitting (this was in the middle of the grant voting process, that thing dragged on for about a couple of weeks) if they didn't turn this into a steam game instead. They chose to just let me quit, take the project for themselves, and... uh, take the grant money.
My friends got me on voice call and kinda hounded me, saying "well we understand if you want to quit but damn that sucks, it's a lot of money, man. It's been my dream too to make a game like that ever since my childhood." That last line really struck home because it was something I could empathise with, but then I recognised it as just... them trying to justify making fat stacks lol. They never really felt that way, and I'll tell you why I think that in a bit.
Either way, I quit. I got out. I didn't even take any compensation money. I mean, why would I lie about it here under an anonymous throwaway account anyway? I have nothing to gain from it, not even "karma farming" since I'm throwing this account away lol. Just... I couldn't stand it anymore, man.
2022 July - September: I spent this time distancing from these people and this crowd. I grew depressed. I hadn't lost any money, but I wasted so much time. I was left feeling disillusioned about my friends. To them, I was overreacting, I was being a cunt, I was just being so difficult! I just was standing in their way of "making bread" and "hustling!"
I stopped going out or hanging out with my friends.
I stopped going to that uni society out of shame. They don't know about it but I just can't even see the game the same way anymore. I felt so ashamed.
I never played that game with my usual other friends who I used to play it with a long time back either. They don't know about any of this either, but I was just so ashamed and disgusted. It kind of feels traumatic.
I stopped writing and barely made any music. I picked up a new tablet and learned to draw in a new style, but eventually I stopped that too. I just didn't feel like it anymore.
I got burned out. I barely was able to hand in my assignments. I had stopped going to classes because I just couldn't bother getting out of bed and going out there into actual society again. I felt like I was a disgusting, naive piece of shit that would just stain otherwise normal people.
I spent my days agonising about the day someone found out that I made art for this dumb project, that I was out there passionately talking about this idea like a stupid nerdy dumbfuck, and that I am associated with it even though I quit. One of my other friends who quit with me said he'd provide testimony of my side of things, but that's not really comforting.
I mean, it's a fringe thing anyway, we barely made anything. My friends got the grant, and I spend every single day agonising over it. I mean, it's not direct "profits" from NFTs, but where'd that grant money come from in the first place, huh?
My worst fear was that they'd pocket it and not even make the game. And they did. I guess those other NFTbros really didn't notice it since a few thousand bucks is just spare change to these grifter overlords. Again, I never took any money from it.
I can only thank god that I stopped them from making their own NFTs though, otherwise I really couldn't live with myself.
Every single day, I keep checking my old discord account and twitter like I'm obsessed, out of fear. I honestly don't care if it's just me that gets fucked by association, but I don't want my existence to become a burden to my poor siblings and parents just by being associated with me. I don't want their reputations to go to the shitter. They're hardworking, honest people who don't waste their time on stupid things like I have. They don't deserve that, at least. It should be me that should suffer.
Everyday, I agonise over it.
I couldn't really cry or anything about it, I just felt hollow, I guess. I've lost interest in most of the things I loved. Sometimes I play games, sometimes I scribble for the fucks of it, sometimes I read, sometimes I write in my notebook, but that's it. I had stopped going out, and I hadn't seen anyone for a long while.
2022 September - 2022 November: I bought a rope and a pull-up bar. I continually kept writing in my journal to prepare a good, coherent suicide note instead of, like... writing it all incoherently at the last minute and then peacing out lol. The pull-up bar is because my dorm doesn't really have any places I could hang my rope from, so if I attach the pull-up bar to the door, I could tie the rope onto it and hang.
The other way I thought of doing it was heroin, because apparently it just quietly puts you to sleep; but I'm scared of needles and I don't want to buy anything on the dark web. I've never done hard drugs like that anyway.
I kept procrastinating it. Partly because I had grown too lazy to even learn how to tie a hangman's knot, and partly because I was still afraid. The thing is, I've already been diagnosed with a mental health issue that also causes depression for nearly a decade now. This, though, was the worst I ever felt. The part that sucks the most is that the game idea was a passion project for me. It was something I've always dreamed of doing. It was the sort of games I really, really loved. It was the sort of art I loved making and seeing too. It was the kind of music I had fun composing. The story idea was something from my own long-held ideas that I wanted to bring to life, and now that's in the shitter too.
On some days, I woke up with absolute certainty of what I was going to do: learn to tie that knot, hang it up, and be done with it. I got distracted, and eventually I'd forget and doze off again. I spend most of my time chatting online with some of my friends (via text), which was something I rarely ever did a few years ago. I was more known for rarely responding to texts because I was outside so frequently lol.
I decided to see everyone for one last time before I did it, so I waited to get back to my own home country first. I wanted to just see everyone and sort of hang out with them as an unspoken farewell thing before I did it.
2022 December: I went back home, I hung out with my friends and family, and I was my usual self. I don't think anyone really caught on. We all made plans to go places and do stuff, and we did. It was a nice little time with everyone. I even kind of felt like myself again. I went swimming, went to friends' houses, met up with old friends, etc. I even put up a local art page and dropped some of my writings, music, and art on there.
2023 January: It was almost time to go back, but I went on a vacation to this country with a friend by ourselves. We ate local food at the stalls and just backpacked on a budget. We went hiking and sightseeing. We went to night markets, canoed in a river, and went camping in the woods. I actually finished one of my assignments on a train ride to this city. We did so many things, but I don't want to go off on a tangent. That experience made me forget these feelings for a while. It meant a lot to me, but I'll keep it at that for this subreddit.
2023 Late January - Now: I went back, these feelings returned. I've spiralled back into agonising now, but I'm seeing a therapist and a university counsellor now. It hasn't gotten as bad as it was in September last year, and especially now I feel reluctant to do it because one of them told me "your death doesn't happen to you, it happens to the people around you."
I'm kind of just picking myself up from here, trying to forget this ever happened, and working in other industries I used to work in back then. But I know that as soon as anyone finds out I was associated with any of this, I will get rid of myself. At the very least, my family would be spared then, and I wouldn't be such a burden, no matter what my therapist says.
I'm more or less just empty and neutral now. I haven't really done anything other than just study, go to classes, and do my assignments. My daily activities consist of eating, shitting, pissing, sleeping, and repeat. If someone from 3 years ago saw me now, they'd think I'm an entirely different person.
One day I'll move on, make peace with myself, and forget about it. That's what I hope for, at least. I'm at least thankful that I've been able to stop my friends from actually making NFTs or a crypto coin and actually hurting people. I'm just glad. I don't know or care what they're up to now. I couldn't be arsed anymore.
I saw people share their stories, and I felt like doing that myself too. It turned out longer than I expected, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging, lol, so I wrote about everything from start to finish. Sorry if that turned out to be way too long. Thanks for taking your time getting this far if you have.
I hope no one else has agonised or will have to agonise the way I have.

I work for a company that has offices in both the US and Canada. I work on the Toronto team at the moment, but they spoke to me today about a potential transfer to their team in Chicago.
I am married and have a 1 year old child who is in daycare. My wife and I both earn 90k per year and own our house. If we were to sell it today, we'd get about 50k in our pockets after all costs. We have 120k saved up on top of this.
My main questions are pretty much what I should ask for in terms of salary. I'm thinking at least 80k USD which would be slightly over the 90k CAD I currently make. Also my wife would have to also work, can she work on my visa? I'm assuming not, and that she would have to find a company there willing to sponsor her independently. If one of us loses our jobs, do we have to come back after 30 days? In that case, maybe it makes sense to not sell the house.
Any advice would be appreciated

One of the biggest challenges of wedding planning is deciding who to invite- and not invite- to the wedding.
My son is getting married in August and he sent out about 150 invitations a few months ago. His bride is sending out about 150 invitations for her friends and family. (So, about 300 people are invited)
The two of them were over at the house a while ago and we started talking about who they invited to the wedding. I asked if they had talked face to face or text to everyone on their invitation lists in the last year. Their surprise answer was no, most of the people on the invitation list were people from their past. Old friends, coworkers from previous jobs, or extended family who they did not have time for anymore, others who were just plain ghosted.
My wife and I asked why they invited so many people who they were no longer close to. They gave us an honest answer.--- Their friends had huge costly and elaborate weddings and they wanted to show them they were just as good.
My wife and I are senior citizens and maybe look at relationships differently. I would not invite anyone I had not communicated with in some ways for over a year. In the 21st Century there are many ways to keep in touch. Phone, mail, email, text, Facebook or just going to see them. If you really like someone you will find the time.
Surprisingly, they have got a positive RSVP from most people they invited they had not talked to for years!

My fiancé and I were talking about wedding plans as we are trying to keep costs as low as possible… and I asked how much money he has to put towards the wedding at this moment… he told me $26…. I then asked more about his debt… he mentioned in the past that he has around $20,000 of debt but that once we are living together he’s going to saving on half the rent so he can pay it off quickly…
This time I asked for specific numbers and he said $34,000 in credit card debt and $8000 in student loans….
I’m freaking out… I had no idea it was this much debt and I can from a household where my parents were bad with money and I always had to bail them out.
I’ve worked 6 days a week with one full time job and 1 job on the weekends to make sure I have manageable debt ($14,000 on a car loan and a line of credit total) and $6000 in investments and savings .
I got a bit upset with him when he told me… am I a jerk… should love prevail over all
TL:DR fiancé has way more debt then I thought and I’m freaking out
Should I put off the wedding?

We’re not sure whether a DJ is worth the money compared to hiring speakers and playing our own music. It’s been suggested that a DJ can help get people dancing, but we’ve been to weddings without a DJ and danced, and weddings with a DJ where we didn’t like the music so didn’t want to dance.
Is there something we are missing, or can we get the same result with lower cost if we do it ourselves?
Edit: the venue has someone to act as MC and a PA system for them to make announcements on. We are also having a church wedding so will have an organist instead of playing music.

We’re not sure whether a DJ is worth the money compared to hiring speakers and playing our own music. It’s been suggested that a DJ can help get people dancing, but we’ve been to weddings without a DJ and danced, and weddings with a DJ where we didn’t like the music so didn’t want to dance.
Is there something we are missing, or can we get the same result with lower cost if we do it ourselves?
Edit: the venue has someone to act as MC and a PA system for them to make announcements on. We are also having a church wedding so will have an organist instead of playing music.

I suppose as the title states, I was wondering who did what and how much extra food moments you planned for. I've been going back and forth on what I want our wedding to be and I have considered a giant meal instead of having appetizer hour or a late night item (ramen/tacos)
I was thinking buffet but the costs are actually so close that the plated sounds nice too? I am just curious what everyone here did

I [29M] have been struggling immensely with intimacy with my girlfriend of 5 years [28F]. During this time, I have struggled, almost since day one, with anorgasmia and delayed ejaculation. I would like to see if anyone can offer advice or encouragement or even suggestions on how they have overcome or dealt with this and/or similar issues.
I don’t want to write paragraphs but I feel that there is a bit of a backstory and explanation that is due here. I was raised DEVOUTLY Catholic (still attends the Latin Mass Catholic). My father should’ve been a priest as that is his sole passion and driving force in his life. All other matters come second to Catholicism. I was forced against my will to be an altar boy so my father could live vicariously through me.
When I was 14 I started to grow close to my Ex-Girlfriend and we ultimately dated on/off throughout High School and through College Graduation. When I was 14 my father first falsely accused us of having sex. That argument resulted in my father throwing his shoes at me when I truthfully denied having sex. I hadn’t even kissed my ex, let alone anything else. These accusations ultimately continued intermittently throughout High School and into college. While we never truly did have sexual intercourse we did fool around and attempt sexual intercourse a few times but never to the point of orgasm. We ended up breaking up shortly after College Graduation.
After my own College Graduation, I found a job at a local employer and tried to meet partners through Tinder, with zero luck. Aside from a brief fling with a co-worker I had no other sexual partners until I met my current girlfriend whom I also met at work. We got lunch together several times and ultimately started dating within a few months of meeting. When we first started dating, we became sexually active almost immediately and that is where the trouble started. The first time that we had sex I lasted in bed upwards of 45 minutes and wasn’t able to achieve orgasm. Throughout the first 3-6 months of dating I was able to achieve orgasm infrequently at best. After a diagnosis during a routine pap-smear of HPV and a strong bout of my Catholic guilt we abstained from sex for about 6 months before acquiescing. However, intimacy still was ineffective at best with about 1 -in- 10 encounters resulting in enjoyment on my part and more rarely orgasm.
We took our relationship to the next level and moved in together into a one-bedroom apartment in mid-2020 at the height of Covid and adopted a puppy, (as one does) and to this day have kept our living arrangement secret from my parents. In March of 2020 I started to meet with my doctor about my inability to achieve orgasm and was shrugged off immediately. My elderly male doctor more or less gave me a high-five congratulating me on my sexual endurance and told me that there was little that could be done to help my issue and his suggestion was ultimately to try and spice things up in the bedroom. I requested a therapy appointment and finally, in September of 2020 I met with the first of several therapists to try and get help for the ever-increasing issues within the bedroom.
The first therapist that I worked with helped me to try and come to terms with my relationship with my family and reduce stress and anxiety by helping to cope with the fear that my parents may find out about our living arrangement. Unfortunately, he quickly realized that he didn’t have the tools to assist with the core issue and referred me to another therapist.
The second therapist that I worked with encouraged me to visit with further specialists (which I did) and was ultimately diagnosed with Low Testosterone (sub 200ng/dl). I started on testosterone while working through different materials provided to us by the therapist including the orgasm threshold and other activities to help provide better communication within the bedroom. We worked together with this therapist for the better part of a year before he too said he felt that he couldn’t help us.
Unfortunately, the recommendations that we started to receive started to take an interesting turn. My urologist seriously recommended me to a hypnotist and my therapist recommended us to (if my memory serves me correct) a breath coach. None of these were of course covered by insurance and quickly entered a realm of unprofessionalism. I turned to my new primary care physician and started down the path, yet again, of asking for medical suggestions. I was placed on a higher dose of testosterone via intramuscular injections and tried to focus on attaining a healthy testosterone level. Despite this after continued regular doses the highest Testosterone I was ever testing at was ~350ng/dl and throughout the entire endeavor I never felt quite myself and felt quite depressed at several points.
Late last year I finally sought out another therapist this time an accredited Sex Therapist for the two of us to work with. Our therapist made it clear that she was our relationship’s therapist and not the therapist for either one of us. We started from scratch and worked through backstories and started to work with her on finding a solution to this issue. She repeatedly assured us that she has helped clients through this in the past and that she has had success with this very issue. Despite this a little over 6 months since starting to work with her it seems as though she too is unable to assist us. At her request I have visited a physical therapist to assess the muscular control over my pelvic floor, I’ve also been recommended (multiple times) to a nationally recognized sexual specialist however she charges $1500 for a 90 min session and isn’t covered by insurance so I haven’t turned to her for support as I cannot financially reconcile that cost.
The last session that we had with her she threw a smattering of ideas at the wall from anal play to male masturbatory toys in an attempt to have some success and unfortunately these ideas haven’t worked all too well and we’ve scheduled a session with her once again for mid next-week. Unfortunately, during the call, I had to schedule the meeting she remarked that she was shocked this hasn’t worked and that we will now turn towards focusing on tools to help accept this as reality.
I want to get engaged and start a family with my lovely girlfriend of 5 years. I cannot imagine going through life with anyone else. She’s been incredibly trusting, patient, and unbelievably supporting throughout this. And yet, the prospect of proposing to her with this issue is at best, a coin-toss. I worry that I view marriage as a solution to this problem and fear that come our wedding night I’m putting incredibly unrealistic expectations on the two of us that the problem will be a thing of the past. Furthermore, I fear that if this issue continues into our marriage, I don’t know how to get help as I’ve already tried what feels like everything to resolve this issue. I also question my own ability to stay loyal in the face of this issue going forward and want to know if anyone here can provide recommendations or advice.
TL;DR- Sex sucks. My girlfriend is awesome. I want to get married but I’m scared.

Effective July 1st, Reddit is implementing changes to their third-party API services that will effectively kill off all third-party apps and many external tools that Reddit users and moderators have come to rely on.
We won't rehash points that many of you have already been reading about — details of the changes and the discussion surrounding them can be found on the announcement post here, and the initial response on /modcoord: https://www.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding
Instead, we'll just briefly talk about why we consider this important, and what it means for you, the average Reddit user:

Third-party Reddit apps are going away

If you make use of a third-party app to browse Reddit, such as Apollo, RIF, BaconReader, or Narwhal, those apps are going to stop working on July 1st of this year.
Reddit have implemented enterprise-level pricing for their API that they state is intended for third-party apps, however the pricing model they've released is unconscionably high, nearly twenty times what it's believed their API services actually cost to operate. The developer of the Apollo app expects that keeping their app running would cost upwards of twenty million dollars a year, and will no longer be able to offer their app. Effectively, this change is an elimination of third-party apps in everything but name. The developers of RIF and Narwhal also expect they will be forced to shut down their apps.

Reddit content is about to become worse

Many subreddits make use of third-party tools to support their community, including custom browser extensions, bots, and archival services. Many of these services are likely to stop working, robbing communities of tools they have come to rely on to manage their content. The Pushshift API, which powered sites like Reveddit, has already ceased functioning. Many more tools are expected to cease working after this change goes into effect. We can surely expect the legacy old.reddit.com to be next on the chopping block — the mobile browser site, i.reddit.com, has already been removed.
That means that you, the user, can expect to see more spam, more FUD, more trolls, more stolen content, and more reposts in your communities.
The mod tools offered by the default app and website also pale in comparison to what's offered by third-party apps and plugins. This means that communities can expect less moderation, worse moderation, and less transparency after these changes go into effect.

Reddit content is about to become less safe

In addition to the pricing model, Reddit is blocking the display of NSFW content in third-party apps. That means that even if the app developers find a way to keep their apps running, your beloved porn is going away.
This also means that anyone viewing a user profile via a third-party app will be unable to view post histories on NSFW subreddits. Many communities serving underage users take steps to prevent posting by individuals with NSFW posting histories; the ability to do this outside of the official Reddit app is about to be crippled.
In short, this means more OnlyFans spam, and more porn directed at kids.

Reddit is about to become less accessible

Accessibility tools like screen readers simply do not work on New Reddit and the official iOS Reddit app. This change will effectively exile the Blind community from Reddit overnight. Read more about this here.
So what are we doing?
Reddit requires its user's content in order to survive — if we stop posting, Reddit stops making money.
To that end, /Wigs will be joining hundreds of other subreddits in a Reddit-wide blackout. On June 12th, 2023, participating communities will set their subreddits to private in protest of these changes, depriving Reddit of the content and traffic it needs to survive. The intent is to force Reddit to reconsider these changes and come to a reasonable compromise with app developers — who have stated they are willing to pay reasonable API costs — so that we can ensure that Reddit stays as safe and accessible as possible.
This isn't a decision we're undertaking lightly, but we believe that we do have the capacity to force change here, and we'd be remiss as members of this community to not take the few steps we can to attempt to ensure a better and safer Reddit experience for everyone.
Read more about the issues here:
https://www.reddit.com/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/
https://www.reddit.com/apolloapp/comments/13ws4w3/had_a_call_with_reddit_to_discuss_pricing_bad/
https://www.reddit.com/redditisfun/comments/13wxepd/rif_dev_here_reddits_api_changes_will_likely_kill/
https://www.reddit.com/getnarwhal/comments/13wv038/reddit_have_quoted_the_apollo_devs_a_ridiculous/jmdqtyt/
https://www.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/1401qw5/incomplete_and_growing_list_of_participating/

Effective July 1st, Reddit is implementing changes to their third-party API services that will effectively kill off all third-party apps and many external tools that Reddit users and moderators have come to rely on.
We won't rehash points that many of you have already been reading about — details of the changes and the discussion surrounding them can be found on the announcement post here, and the initial response on /modcoord: https://www.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding
Instead, we'll just briefly talk about why we consider this important, and what it means for you, the average Reddit user:

Third-party Reddit apps are going away

If you make use of a third-party app to browse Reddit, such as Apollo, RIF, BaconReader, or Narwhal, those apps are going to stop working on July 1st of this year.
Reddit have implemented enterprise-level pricing for their API that they state is intended for third-party apps, however the pricing model they've released is unconscionably high, nearly twenty times what it's believed their API services actually cost to operate. The developer of the Apollo app expects that keeping their app running would cost upwards of twenty million dollars a year, and will no longer be able to offer their app. Effectively, this change is an elimination of third-party apps in everything but name. The developers of RIF and Narwhal also expect they will be forced to shut down their apps.

Reddit content is about to become worse

Many subreddits make use of third-party tools to support their community, including custom browser extensions, bots, and archival services. Many of these services are likely to stop working, robbing communities of tools they have come to rely on to manage their content. The Pushshift API, which powered sites like Reveddit, has already ceased functioning. Many more tools are expected to cease working after this change goes into effect. We can surely expect the legacy old.reddit.com to be next on the chopping block — the mobile browser site, i.reddit.com, has already been removed.
That means that you, the user, can expect to see more spam, more FUD, more trolls, more stolen content, and more reposts in your communities.
The mod tools offered by the default app and website also pale in comparison to what's offered by third-party apps and plugins. This means that communities can expect less moderation, worse moderation, and less transparency after these changes go into effect.

Reddit content is about to become less safe

In addition to the pricing model, Reddit is blocking the display of NSFW content in third-party apps. That means that even if the app developers find a way to keep their apps running, your beloved porn is going away.
This also means that anyone viewing a user profile via a third-party app will be unable to view post histories on NSFW subreddits. Many communities serving underage users take steps to prevent posting by individuals with NSFW posting histories; the ability to do this outside of the official Reddit app is about to be crippled.
In short, this means more OnlyFans spam, and more porn directed at kids.

Reddit is about to become less accessible

Accessibility tools like screen readers simply do not work on New Reddit and the official iOS Reddit app. This change will effectively exile the Blind community from Reddit overnight. Read more about this here.
So what are we doing?
Reddit requires its user's content in order to survive — if we stop posting, Reddit stops making money.
To that end, /PolymerClay will be joining hundreds of other subreddits in a Reddit-wide blackout. On June 12th, 2023, participating communities will set their subreddits to private in protest of these changes, depriving Reddit of the content and traffic it needs to survive. The intent is to force Reddit to reconsider these changes and come to a reasonable compromise with app developers — who have stated they are willing to pay reasonable API costs — so that we can ensure that Reddit stays as safe and accessible as possible.
This isn't a decision we're undertaking lightly, but we believe that we do have the capacity to force change here, and we'd be remiss as members of this community to not take the few steps we can to attempt to ensure a better and safer Reddit experience for everyone.
Read more about the issues here:
https://www.reddit.com/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/
https://www.reddit.com/apolloapp/comments/13ws4w3/had_a_call_with_reddit_to_discuss_pricing_bad/
https://www.reddit.com/redditisfun/comments/13wxepd/rif_dev_here_reddits_api_changes_will_likely_kill/
https://www.reddit.com/getnarwhal/comments/13wv038/reddit_have_quoted_the_apollo_devs_a_ridiculous/jmdqtyt/
https://www.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/1401qw5/incomplete_and_growing_list_of_participating/

Effective July 1st, Reddit is implementing changes to their third-party API services that will effectively kill off all third-party apps and many external tools that Reddit users and moderators have come to rely on.
We won't rehash points that many of you have already been reading about — details of the changes and the discussion surrounding them can be found on the announcement post here, and the initial response on /modcoord: https://www.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding
Instead, we'll just briefly talk about why we consider this important, and what it means for you, the average Reddit user:
Third-party Reddit apps are going away If you make use of a third-party app to browse Reddit, such as Apollo, RIF, BaconReader, or Narwhal, those apps are going to stop working on July 1st of this year.
Reddit have implemented enterprise-level pricing for their API that they state is intended for third-party apps, however the pricing model they've released is unconscionably high, nearly twenty times what it's believed their API services actually cost to operate. The developer of the Apollo app expects that keeping their app running would cost upwards of twenty million dollars a year, and will no longer be able to offer their app. Effectively, this change is an elimination of third-party apps in everything but name. The developers of RIF and Narwhal also expect they will be forced to shut down their apps.
Reddit content is about to become worse Many subreddits make use of third-party tools to support their community, including custom browser extensions, bots, and archival services. Many of these services are likely to stop working, robbing communities of tools they have come to rely on to manage their content. The Pushshift API, which powered sites like Reveddit, has already ceased functioning. Many more tools are expected to cease working after this change goes into effect. We can surely expect the legacy old.reddit.com to be next on the chopping block — the mobile browser site, i.reddit.com, has already been removed.
That means that you, the user, can expect to see more spam, more FUD, more trolls, more stolen content, and more reposts in your communities.
The mod tools offered by the default app and website also pale in comparison to what's offered by third-party apps and plugins. This means that communities can expect less moderation, worse moderation, and less transparency after these changes go into effect.
Reddit content is about to become less safe In addition to the pricing model, Reddit is blocking the display of NSFW content in third-party apps. That means that even if the app developers find a way to keep their apps running, your beloved porn is going away.
This also means that anyone viewing a user profile via a third-party app will be unable to view post histories on NSFW subreddits. Many communities serving underage users take steps to prevent posting by individuals with NSFW posting histories; the ability to do this outside of the official Reddit app is about to be crippled.
In short, this means more OnlyFans spam, and more porn directed at kids.
Reddit is about to become less accessible Accessibility tools like screen readers simply do not work on New Reddit and the official iOS Reddit app. This change will effectively exile the Blind community from Reddit overnight. Read more about this here.
So what are we doing?
As a subreddit of nearly 3.5 million users, we do have some sway here. Reddit requires its user's content in order to survive — if we stop posting, Reddit stops making money.
To that end, /PS5 will be joining hundreds of other subreddits in a Reddit-wide blackout. On June 12th, 2023, participating communities will set their subreddits to private in protest of these changes, depriving Reddit of the content and traffic it needs to survive. The intent is to force Reddit to reconsider these changes and come to a reasonable compromise with app developers — who have stated they are willing to pay reasonable API costs — so that we can ensure that Reddit stays as safe and accessible as possible.
This isn't a decision we're undertaking lightly, but we believe that we do have the capacity to force change here, and we'd be remiss as members of this community to not take the few steps we can to attempt to ensure a better and safer Reddit experience for everyone.
Read more about the issues here:
https://www.reddit.com/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/
https://www.reddit.com/apolloapp/comments/13ws4w3/had_a_call_with_reddit_to_discuss_pricing_bad/
https://www.reddit.com/redditisfun/comments/13wxepd/rif_dev_here_reddits_api_changes_will_likely_kill/
https://www.reddit.com/getnarwhal/comments/13wv038/reddit_have_quoted_the_apollo_devs_a_ridiculous/jmdqtyt/
https://www.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/1401qw5/incomplete_and_growing_list_of_participating/

I know there's not a lot of us but we gotta make a stand somewhere.
Effective July 1st, Reddit is implementing changes to their third-party API services that will effectively kill off all third-party apps and many external tools that Reddit users and moderators have come to rely on.
We won't rehash points that many of you have already been reading about — details of the changes and the discussion surrounding them can be found on the announcement post here, and the initial response on /modcoord: https://www.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding
Instead, we'll just briefly talk about why we consider this important, and what it means for you, the average Reddit user:
Third-party Reddit apps are going away If you make use of a third-party app to browse Reddit, such as Apollo, RIF, BaconReader, or Narwhal, those apps are going to stop working on July 1st of this year.
Reddit have implemented enterprise-level pricing for their API that they state is intended for third-party apps, however the pricing model they've released is unconscionably high, nearly twenty times what it's believed their API services actually cost to operate. The developer of the Apollo app expects that keeping their app running would cost upwards of twenty million dollars a year, and will no longer be able to offer their app. Effectively, this change is an elimination of third-party apps in everything but name. The developers of RIF and Narwhal also expect they will be forced to shut down their apps.
Reddit content is about to become worse Many subreddits make use of third-party tools to support their community, including custom browser extensions, bots, and archival services. Many of these services are likely to stop working, robbing communities of tools they have come to rely on to manage their content. The Pushshift API, which powered sites like Reveddit, has already ceased functioning. Many more tools are expected to cease working after this change goes into effect. We can surely expect the legacy old.reddit.com to be next on the chopping block — the mobile browser site, i.reddit.com, has already been removed.
That means that you, the user, can expect to see more spam, more FUD, more trolls, more stolen content, and more reposts in your communities.
The mod tools offered by the default app and website also pale in comparison to what's offered by third-party apps and plugins. This means that communities can expect less moderation, worse moderation, and less transparency after these changes go into effect.
Reddit content is about to become less safe In addition to the pricing model, Reddit is blocking the display of NSFW content in third-party apps. That means that even if the app developers find a way to keep their apps running, your beloved porn is going away.
This also means that anyone viewing a user profile via a third-party app will be unable to view post histories on NSFW subreddits. Many communities serving underage users take steps to prevent posting by individuals with NSFW posting histories; the ability to do this outside of the official Reddit app is about to be crippled.
In short, this means more OnlyFans spam, and more porn directed at kids.
Reddit is about to become less accessible Accessibility tools like screen readers simply do not work on New Reddit and the official iOS Reddit app. This change will effectively exile the Blind community from Reddit overnight. Read more about this here.
So what are we doing?
As a subreddit of nearly 3.5 million users, we do have some sway here. Reddit requires its user's content in order to survive — if we stop posting, Reddit stops making money.
To that end, /PS5 will be joining hundreds of other subreddits in a Reddit-wide blackout. On June 12th, 2023, participating communities will set their subreddits to private in protest of these changes, depriving Reddit of the content and traffic it needs to survive. The intent is to force Reddit to reconsider these changes and come to a reasonable compromise with app developers — who have stated they are willing to pay reasonable API costs — so that we can ensure that Reddit stays as safe and accessible as possible.
This isn't a decision we're undertaking lightly, but we believe that we do have the capacity to force change here, and we'd be remiss as members of this community to not take the few steps we can to attempt to ensure a better and safer Reddit experience for everyone.
Read more about the issues here:
https://www.reddit.com/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/
https://www.reddit.com/apolloapp/comments/13ws4w3/had_a_call_with_reddit_to_discuss_pricing_bad/
https://www.reddit.com/redditisfun/comments/13wxepd/rif_dev_here_reddits_api_changes_will_likely_kill/
https://www.reddit.com/getnarwhal/comments/13wv038/reddit_have_quoted_the_apollo_devs_a_ridiculous/jmdqtyt/
https://www.reddit.com/ModCoord/comments/1401qw5/incomplete_and_growing_list_of_participating/

This post originally began in response to another post, but a lot more poured out of me, and I am so fucking frustrated and enraged. I feel like I can't stand firmly on anything. Who am I? What is my identity with with respect to motivational factors, careerism, ability, passions, interest, and purpose / dreams?
I think that most of my core values are authentic and immutable (e.g., treating everyone w/ dignity, integrity, honesty etc). However, I’ve recently become aware of how many ‘false starts’ I’ve experienced in my life whereby I thought repeatedly that I was becoming who I was or that my motivations were clear and undiluted. Moreover, that I was acting according to core values and beliefs; and that my passions, purpose, and goals were in agreement with my identity.
After shit really hit the fan for me in late October 2020, a culmination of my startup losing its last best chance of funding (losing so much as a result as I was unpaid), the complex death of my father, wedding being up bees by Covid, and alcohol abuse, I haven’t been able to work properly or function “normally” for a few consecutive days, let alone a week.
Have spent 90% of my disposal income since I left grad school at 23. I am 34 now.
Tried nearly every treatment under the sun, spent months and in some cases, years in various therapeutic modalities. I’ve been misdiagnosed with bipolar, and diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. Plus sleep apnea, insulin resistance and ADHD. When I was younger, I was told I had learning disabilities, which mysteriously disappeared? And I’ve spent my whole life thinking I am wildly mediocre at best, rotten to the core, but if I listened to my inner critic, I could have a chance of outperforming my middling self, but at the cost of perfection and dogmatic adherence to Calvinistic work ethics.
Like so many if not ever single one of you, I have been invalidated more times than I can count by countless MDs, therapists, family members, and previously considered “closest friends.”
In April 2023, I finally, thanks like 20 ketamine assisted therapy sessions, I uncovered the extent of my trauma.
Among myriad other revelations, I started to finally wedge my soul from my inner critic, and realized what a lie I had been living for all this time. I wondered if I have solely ADHD or a combo of that plus CPTSD brain as my focus has gotten so much more tenuous and ephemeral. I also realized how much of my brain’s resources have been allocated to taming this impossibly powerful, painful, and enigmatic growth on my mind.
I thought after firing some therapists and going through more hell to achieve the CPTSD diagnosis I knew was at the heart of things, that my identity would be more or less something that I had been conceiving of for years now.
It’s not.
And I had to stop immediately my ketamine therapy as the therapist was grossly negligent in her understanding of trauma, and I became suicidal and inconsolable after a generational trauma revealing infusion left me wishing for death and confounded and overwhelmed by the pain. I also realized I could no longer unilaterally do trauma work. It was too dangerous and too much for me to handle without proper supervision and support.
I thought maybe I am a writer—something I had believed as far back as middle school and high school. My parents shut that down repeatedly.
I’ve written substantially in a sprawling fiction used account of my CpTSd journey. And I thought it could serve as a boon to this community. In the past, I believed one of my core values to be productivity and doing. And that I was always happiest when I accomplished things, especially if it involved suffering.
I am so burnt out and in so much pain. My sleeping pills cause brain fog. I oscillate between occasional bursts of hope that goes like “a yes, this great metamodern novel, it will help so many people; and your identity will be clear—the road to recovery mandates you apply yourself every day to serialize and distribute what you are working on; this is your roadmap and if you don’t adhere to it, you deserve to remain stuck and despondent.” And most of the time, I just feel like a confused, vacant, and hurting body with a mind that may have had potential, but so consumed with rage and distraction, I’ll continue to just waste away in obscurity.
I don’t know who I am or what really motivates me anymore. This is probably a net positive, but this interim of feeling absolutely lost is horrifying. I am beyond tired of being fucking tired. My body is armored every day. I fucking hate my existence so much of the time.

Ytd I got into a really huge fight with my mom over my wedding because I haven't signed a $45K wedding contract I said I would.
My husband and I (27m, 25f) got married a month ago at the courthouse (simply because we wanted to) and as a formality we decided to have wedding so that my family can have whatever closure they need (also since I'm moving away).
For context we're both from different countries and therefore would be having 2 weddings in our respective home countries and I will be relocating first but only in 1.5 years time due to my career etc. so now we're in an LDR
My parents and I visited this venue and we both liked it, the parents liked it etc but when I received the quotation for the wedding I really thought twice about it. It came up to about $35K excluding photography, videography, decor, outfits and MUA... it is possible we can expect to spend another $10K on all of that bringing the grand total to a year's worth of salary.
My parents in law met with my parents and communicated my financial concerns as the main reason as to why I didn't want a wedding. So my parents (probably under pressure) agreed to "underwrite" whatever wedding costs cannot be covered by the guests' monetary tokens.
So with that we went in the direction of having a conventional wedding with the banquet and all but that ensued a whole other set of problems because now we were arguing over things like the wedding guest list (my mom doesn't want to tell me who she was inviting) or even what alcohol should be served at the wedding (like wtf my husband and I don't even drink). And then suddenly I feel like I've lost all my leverage because they were putting their money into it.
So I went back to the drawing board and took a few days to think about what I really wanted. All this time I was trying to consider what my parents wanted etc that I couldn't even answer my husband when he asked me what I really wanted for our wedding. And right now as I am reading what I am writing I am so damn incoherent because this has taken so much out of me just a month into being married.
my parents cant even admit to themselves that they have expectations of my wedding and always give me lip service "you are the priority and what you want matters most". They say that and yet come back with being sus about the guest list and all like wtf
So ytd when I told my mom I decided not to sign the contract because I think the money (even if its theirs) can be better spent elsewhere, and presented her the idea of me hosting it at a villa where I can book it out for a few days get catering etc and have different groups of ppl (eg. Relatives, their friends, our friends) come down to celebrate with us.
Her first response was a demeaning and condescending "if you want a sub marriage go ahead". Then it became an "attitude problem" I had, that "I wasn't grateful for the help they're extending to me". So if I had an unconventional wedding = I'll have a subpar marriage? Excuse me for not conflating a wedding and marriage because the latter is what I truly want. So not doing what they want = me having an attitude problem/being ungrateful? Sorry for knowing what I want
I am so tired of being blackmailed and gaslighted into thinking I really am not a filial or grateful daughter simply because I was not going to do what they wanted.
My husband pointed out to me yesterday while I was ugly crying on the phone and he said "babe you have to take more responsibility for your own decisions. You have to own and accept that your choices may not always make everyone including people close to you happy but you have to own it and remain unshakable because that's how you live your life. Your best life"
Honestly that put so much into perspective and I am forever grateful that he is the wise person that he is that I look up to.
I havent been this stressed over something for a long time now but feel free to opine..

0. Preface

In my post a couple of weeks ago, assessing the likelihood of current shareholders coming away profitable in the end, I noted that Holly Etlin's Docket 10 filing to the bankruptcy court stated that the company has around $800 million in secured creditors (JP Morgan, Sixth Street etc.) and $1 billion in unsecured creditors (mainly bond holders) to pay off. That too is only the funded debt; the [aggregate debt situation] is even worse:
The company estimated it had assets of $4.4 billion and total debt of $5.2 billion as of late November, and the number of creditors is between 25,001 and 50,000, with BNY Mellon having the biggest unsecured claim of $1.18 billion. BNY Mellon is a trustee on three senior debt issues, according to a spokesperson for the firm.
Before any value can be returned to the current shareholders by a successful exit from Chapter 11, secured and then unsecured creditors must first be satisfied. That is a very simple fact, and the notion that a sale of any kind of the company is bullish for current shareholders is simply incorrect and misguided. If current equity holders are to receive anything, and not have their investments wiped away, then a prospective buyer would need to cover BBBY's debt obligations to secured and unsecured creditors.
​

1. Who Are Unsecured Creditors?

The hierarchy of this is that it is firstly the secured creditors who must be paid out. In BBBY's case these are primarily the Wall Street financial institutions JP Morgan and Sixth Street, who have provided loans to basically keep the company operating. As these are fairly straightforward debt obligations, I think a buyer would simply need to pay them off in cash, as part of a successful Chapter 11 restructuring.
But after that come the unsecured creditors, and I believe how a prospective buyer pays these entities off could have a greater impact on whether shareholders can receive anything. If the buyer can negotiate in a savvy fashion with the unsecured creditors, there could be an opportunity to reduce how much of their debts need to be paid off. Additionally the method of payment could become important, as some form of equities-for-debt could mean the launching of new securities, of which current shareholders could receive some portion.
Hence the negotiations with these unsecured creditors could become extremely important for a successful deal to be formulated. Meaning that who these unsecured creditors are, and what they might be satisfied with, is a potentially critical factor. Below are the typical types of unsecured creditors that most publicly traded companies have:
Bondholders: Bondholders are individuals or institutional investors who have purchased corporate bonds issued by the company. These bonds are unsecured and represent debt owed by the company.
Debenture Holders: Similar to bondholders, debenture holders hold unsecured debt instruments issued by the company known as debentures.
Noteholders: Noteholders hold unsecured promissory notes issued by the company, representing debt obligations.
Unsecured Loan Providers: Individuals or financial institutions that have provided unsecured loans to the company.
Trade Creditors: These are suppliers or vendors who have provided goods or services on credit to the company.
Employees: Unpaid wages, benefits, or pensions owed to employees can also make them unsecured creditors.
Leaseholders: Companies may have leased properties or equipment from landlords or lessors, making them unsecured creditors if rental payments are outstanding.
​

2. BBBY's Main Unsecured Creditors

Hence I was very much interested when Docket 607 came out last Friday 2nd June, as this contains a list of BBBY's top 30 Unsecured Creditors. Here they are in alphabetical order, including my short description of what they do:
ARTSANA USA INC: Italian company in the parenting space, part owned by Baby Care International Development Sarl (Luxemburgish firm)
BLUE YONDER INC: Supply chain management software company, operating as an independent subsidiary of Panasonic (Japanese electronics giant)
BNY MELLON: American investment management and investment services provider; largest creditor of $1.18 billion
BRIDGETREE LLC: American marketing analytics and big data analytics company
CITRUS AD INTERNATIONAL INC: Publicis Groupe (French media firm) owned software as a service (SaaS) platform, optimizing brands marketing performances directly within retailer websites
COMMISSION JUNCTION INC: Another Publicis Groupe (French media firm) owned affiliate marketplace, in which eCommerce brands can browse a large selection of products that can be used for promoting and building their business
FACEBOOK INC (META PLATFORMS): American multinational technology conglomerate
F 3 METALWORX INC: American precision metal works provider specializing in Wire Weld Store Fixtures, Arvite Precision Sheet Metal Fabrication and Cost Effective Coatings
FEDERAL HEATH SIGN COMPANY LLC: American firm that manufactures interior marketing decor, external signs and digital signage
FEDEX: American express delivery services and solutions firm
GRANITE TELECOMMUNICATIONS LLC: American one-stop solutions for voice, data, Internet, wireless, video and secure network options provider
IDX CORPORATION: American company that develops and manufactures consumer displays and environments
INTERSOFT DATA LABS INC: Indian company thar specialises in IT outsourcing and business process solutions, especially digital transformations
KDM P.O.P. SOLUTIONS GROUP: American in-store retail marketing solutions provider
KEECO LLC: American home textile supplier, specializing bedding and curtains
KEPLER GROUP LLC: Digital marketing services company, part of the Japanese media giant Hakuhodo's kyu Collective
KEURIG GREEN MOUNTAIN INC: American beverage and coffeemaker conglomerate
LENOX CORPORATION: American manufacturing company that sells tableware, giftware, and collectible products under the Lenox, Dansk, Reed & Barton, and Gorham brands.
LIFETIME BRANDS INC: American provider of kitchenware, tableware and other products used in the home
MADIX INC: American manufacturer of store fixtures, shelving, and display accessories
NATIONAL TREE COMPANY: Leading American importer and wholesaler of artificial Christmas trees, wreaths and garlands as well as holiday decorations and fiber optics products
NORTH AMERICAN CORPORATION: American packaging solutions and facility solutions firm
PERSONALIZATIONMALL: Amerixan provider of distinctive keepsake items featuring a broad assortment of customizable products
PINTEREST INC: American image sharing and social media service
SHARKNINJA SALES COMPANY: American manufacturer of small home appliances
TEMPUR‐PEDIC: American manufacturer and distributor of mattresses and pillows made from viscoelastic foam
TESTRITE PRODUCTS CORP.: American wholesale distributor of home furnishings and housewares
THE KNOT WORLDWIDE INC: American wedding planning and goods company
VERIZON BUSINESS NETWORK: American voice and data telecommunications campany
WILLIAM CARTER CO.: Major American designer and marketer of children's apparel
​

3. Unsecured Creditor Categories

Here I am putting these 30 firms into categories, based on my personal assessment of what type of firm they are and/or what kind of relationship they most likely have with BBBY:
​
Financal Services providers to BBBY
BNY MELLON
​
Business Services providers to BBBY
BLUE YONDER INC
BRIDGETREE LLC
CITRUS AD INTERNATIONAL INC
COMMISSION JUNCTION INC
FACEBOOK INC (META PLATFORMS)
F 3 METALWORX INC
FEDERAL HEATH SIGN COMPANY LLC
FEDEX
GRANITE TELECOMMUNICATIONS LLC
IDX CORPORATION
INTERSOFT DATA LABS INC
KDM P.O.P. SOLUTIONS GROUP
KEPLER GROUP LLC
MADIX INC
NORTH AMERICAN CORPORATION
PINTEREST INC
VERIZON BUSINESS NETWORK
​
Suppliers of products sold at BBBY stores
ARTSANA USA INC
KEECO LLC
KEURIG GREEN MOUNTAIN INC
LENOX CORPORATION
NATIONAL TREE COMPANY
PERSONALIZATIONMALL
SHARKNINJA SALES COMPANY
TEMPUR‐PEDIC
TESTRITE PRODUCTS CORP.
THE KNOT WORLDWIDE INC
WILLIAM CARTER CO.
​
What I was concerned about before carrying out this research was whether most of BBBY's unsecured creditors are financial services firms. We know for sure that BNY Mellon is the largest of the bond holder, being the trustee of the senior notes. However not a single one of the other 29 firms on this list are other financial services providers. Of course no guarantees, but I believe this significantly reduces the risk of bad Wall Street actors being able to "sabotage" potential negotiations between a prospective buyer of BBBY and the collective secured creditors.
In fact, the vast majority of these large secured creditors appear to be Trade Creditors, and I believe that is a very encouraging sign. For these companies, there is no advantage at all in BBBY winding down its operations, as that would mean a loss of longer term income for them. Looking at the products and services these companies provide, they either receive revenue from BBBY for business services, or have their products sold through BBBY's bricks-and-mortar and/or online stores. So for BBBY to wind down completely would not be in these secured creditors' best interests at all, as they would simply be losing a long-term revenue source.
​

4. The Ultimate Deal

As such, I believe there is a good chance that a prospective buyer can significantly reduce the secured debt obligations currently on BBBY's books, as part of a successful acquisition of the company. Except for BNY Mellon, all the other major unsecured creditors appear to be BBBY's suppliers and long-term business partners. I would think that the short-term gain of recovering their current debts is less beneficial to these companies, if compared to continuing to supply their products and services to BBBY and/or its successor entities.
So what kind of deal could take place? This could take many forms, but an attractive one for these unsecured creditors could be a swapping of debt for newly issued securities. Those could be of a new ticker representing BBBY's post-Chapter 11 business, or of a spin-off such as BABY, or even more attractively, both. This third option would mean that far from their relationship with BBBY ending in disappointing fashion, they can instead recoup their unsecured credit, receive equity and part-ownership in one or more new companies, AND can provide products and services to these firms.
Such a scenario would also be extremely beneficial for current BBBY shareholders as well. If the buyer's requirements for paying off BBBY's debts are reduced, then a higher chance there is enough left over from their acquisition offer to return to us equity holders. I am also inclined to think that the type of offer is more likely to include their own stock, given such an equity-for-debt offer could be more attractive to Trade Creditors. As I have pointed out in numerous past DDs, I believe such an acquisition - either in the form of an All-Stock or Combined Stock/Cash deal - has the greatest likelihood of triggering a Short Squeeze.
So it is fair to say that I am really quite encouraged by the make-up of BBBY's top 30 unsecured creditors list...!
​

5. Summary

• Before current shareholders can receive any value from a successful exit from Chapter 11 bankruptcy, secured and unsecured creditors must be satisfied.
• Secured creditors have priority and must be paid off first. They are typically financial institutions that have provided loans to the company, such as JP Morgan and Sixth Street in the case of BBBY.
• Unsecured creditors come next, and how they are paid off can impact whether shareholders receive anything. Negotiating with unsecured creditors could potentially reduce the amount of debt that needs to be paid and the method of payment, such as equities-for-debt, could involve launching new securities.
• BBBY's top 30 unsecured creditors were listed in Docket 607. They include a mix of companies from various industries, such as financial services providers, business services providers, and suppliers of products sold at BBBY stores.
• However the fact that most of BBBY's unsecured creditors are Trade Creditors (suppliers and long-term business partners) rather than financial services firms reduces the risk of potential negative interference from Wall Street actors for a potential buyer.
• A prospective buyer may be able to reduce secured debt obligations by negotiating with trade creditors who have a long-term interest in maintaining a relationship with BBBY.
• An attractive deal for these unsecured creditors could involve swapping debt for newly issued securities, potentially representing BBBY's post-Chapter 11 business and/or a spun-off BABY.
• Such a deal could also be extremely beneficial to current shareholders, as this increases the likelihood of returning value from the acquisition offer and potentially triggering a Short Squeeze.
• The makeup of BBBY's top 30 unsecured creditors list is therefore very encouraging for potential acquisition negotiations, and an overall profitable outcome for shareholders.

I hope it does not disappoint.

You are whisked away briefly and your body is not your own. Walking through halls of a great castle makes you feel uncomfortable. There is a pain in your leg acting up from that war oh so long ago. Years seemed like a blur for you, the fighting taken up so much of your life. Barov... Father, you remind yourself, trying to quench the hatred you have for him now. Sacrificed so much in his name and with nothing to show for it. The wounds that made you walk with this bloody cane made you despise him.
But you were happy... it would all end soon. Just needed one more night... and the deal with the dark powers would be sealed. All it costed was a measly baby brother. You opened the door you were looking for. Your prize was there, radiant as when you met her. Envy pierced your heart but you manage a smile. Even that was painful. "Tatyana." Your voice, once commanding came out like a rasp. Yet she turned and smiled anyway gazing at you. Her wedding dress looked as bright as sunlight and you could not look away even as it seared your heart.
"How do I look?" She asked in a familiar tone. One similar to Ireena... though your memories clashed with the one in this body, as you reply. "Beautiful as ever. A wonderful addition to the Von Zarovich family." If only you were the one she desired instead of him. The invalid.. yet someone you could not part with. She beamed at you, and that smile was haunting... you knew you would not be able to see it once more.
"Tatyana... I replay this memory in my mind again and again. We are... friends are we not? You met me before my brother. It is custom that the elder is married before the younger. We have been friends... close for ages." Gods you hated your voice. It sounded so weak... so haggard compared to his. There was a rage that must have shown on your face for she looked uncomfortable. You raised your hand for peace. A lie, but it was a necessary one. Her wedding would happen still. You could not finish your question but there was understanding in her eyes. "Why..?" At the question envy and anger forced your voice into place.
She hesistated to speak. A heartbeat passed, then another. Then sighed softly moving close to you and caressed your cheek. She brushed her thumb against it looking into your eyes. For a long while you felt terrified. Then she spoke with more conviction than ever. "For a long time, I thought you a fool to follow your father. After all, he is a brutal man. Look what he has done to you, I thought. He has broken you, and your wars have brutalised your home. But the truth is, Strahd, Sergei read to me your campaigns carefully, and he noticed a pattern that disturbed and then alarmed me."
She paused but then continued more confident. "Always you do things the most difficult way, and in the most painful manner. You cultivate a martyr's complex, lurching from man to man, holding out your bleeding wrists so they might see how you hurt yourself. You brood in the shadows when all you want to do is scream, 'Look at me!' You are too arrogant to win people over through effort. You expect people to notice you there in the half-darkness, and point and shout out, 'There! There is the great Strahd! See how he labours without complaint!' 'You came to me as a precocious child. Your abilities were so prodigious that nobody stopped to look at what you were becoming."
The silence was deafening. You could hear your blood in your ears thundering. How dare she speak to you like this. A village woman brought to your home and castle you conquered. The one handed off to your lesser like- a caress of your graying hair was all it took to break the anger. The frustration. Tatyana glanced with such pity on her eyes that hatred simmered where it should boil.
"Strahd, my friend, I say this with the knowledge that this will anger you, but you never truly grew into a man."
"I am far more." The rasp was back and the hatred bubbled in your chest.
"Those words poison your potential. In you, I see a great man struggling against a cruel tyrant. It is why..." She did not finish the sentence. "Come... it is not my place to discuss this. It is a happy time.. I wish to see your smile when you see me come down the aisle." In a blink, like the edge of the sun over a distant horizon, she was gone.

I don't know how in character this would be for Strahd, but I wanted to humanize him and make sure that his actions going forward was horrible.