I thought before Reddit collapses (or not), I’ll share a recent win of mine with y’all so you can maybe benefit from it.
I have ADHD and some level of sensory issues mainly from touch and noise, probably not nearly as bad as some of you.
For this reason I am absolutely hating to wear loads of pants, especially jeans, harder pants, and type of clothing (for this post will focus on legwear) that I need belts, buttons for or that is low waist, or which just don’t have plenty space around the private areas.
And then I found climbing pants… oh my goodness… cuffs on the waist, most of them with a rope closure, almost all of them slightly elastic, also the ankles are cuffed and often long enough. And most colours you can get away with easily for streetwear and some relaxed office wear.
If any of you have a tip for more “smart” and not so casual looking pants that are long enough and made from comfortable elastic material.. my ears are wide open.

Hey all,
I just got back from my 3 week trip to Korea, spending 2.5 weeks in Seoul (due to getting surgery) and 4 nights in Busan. I thought I'd share some of my experiences and thoughts here since some of the recent information I got from this subreddit was not true when I went to Korea.
Tips:

• Get your T-money card as soon as you can (I got mine at the airport), I saw many tourists who never bought one and were still using single tickets to get through the subways, which is really inefficient and more complicated.
  
• if your phone allows eSim, prepurchase one online then you can simply scan a QR code when you land and have immediate access to data, you can also skip the lines at the airport where they sell sim cards. I got mine from KT online for 56,900 won which lasted for 20 days.
  
• lots of ATMs only allowed up to 100,000 won to be taken out, with an expensive 4800 won fee. ATMs near or in banks seemed to be the best option where you can take a lot of cash out and the fees were about 3000 won.
  
• when using your visa or mastercard, many times it will ask you if you want to be charged in KRW (korean won) or your home currency (in my case Canadian Dollars CAD), you should always choose KRW even though it seems counter intuitive. If you have a no foreign tx fee card like myself, your best conversion rate will come from the visa or mastercard conversion rate, and not the one on the machine.
  
• ALWAYS carry a pack of "wet tissues" on you. You can buy them for 1000-2000 won for a pack of 20-30 in any of the popular convenience stores (CU, Gs25, 7-11). about 1/3 of the washrooms I went to there was NO toilet paper.
  
• Carry your passport on you in a safe and secure place at all times, especially if you're going out for drinks or trying to get into bars, as well as for instant tax refunds when you spend more than 30,000 won and applicable stores.
  
• When shopping at street vendors for clothes, bags, etc. Never buy the first one you see especially if you look like a foreigner. For example, you walk to the first stall and see a handbag you like, but you don't see a price, that price when you ask may or may not change depending on how the owner feels at that moment. I often saw bags being told to customers at say 40,000 won, but a few stalls down had a price tag for the same bag at 15,000 won.
  
• when looking for places to eat, IF you don't plan on looking up restaurant reviews on your phone, it's always safer to choose places that are either LIST PRICES or are BUSY, or BOTH. I went into several restaurants that had no prices listed outside and were dead and they were often bad experiences. If you know what you're going to pay, and you know other koreans find it good, then its a much safer bet.
  
• use KakaoTaxi app to call cabs whenever possible! Not only does it show you the optimal route, but it also gives you a very accurate guess of the cost, but most importantly, it lets the driver know exactly where you want to go. As someone who speaks decent korean, 90% of the time I hailed a cab and tried to tell them where to go, they could not understand even when I showed them my phone (almost all cab drivers are older men who have a very hard time seeing things on the phone). If you can't help but hail a cab without the app, and they can't understand where you want to go, find the nearest major subway station near your destination and tell them to go there instead.
  
• if you are enjoying nightlife at places like itaewon/hongdae, it will be IMPOSSIBLE to get a cab through KakaoTaxi app. However, there will be a lot of free cabs everywhere, unfortunately all the cab drivers are there to essentially scam people. They will ask you where you want to go and usually will tell you it will cost 40,000 won. This is a ridiculous price, you could ride in a taxi for 90 minutes for 40,000 won, but they will ask you for that even if its a 5 minute drive. I'm not 100% sure whats best to do in this scenario so if any koreans can help out please leave a comment. Personally, I was able to find a driver who would take me anywhere for 15-20,000 won each time.
  
• always bring AT LEAST 2 credit cards (1 visa, 1 MC for example), most places my first CC would work fine, but many times it would not work and I had to use a different CC. Also ALWAYS have adequate cash on you in case all your cards fail.
  
• there are almost NO public garbage cans in korea (private property like malls is no problem), so most people leave their trash anywhere or in piles on the side of the street. I would bring a small trash bag to carry around if you dont like littering.
  
• if you quickly need smaller bills and don't want to go around stores asking for change, there are arcades almost everywhere especially at major tourist zones, and they all have "change dispensers" that can turn 50,000 won notes into 10,000s, and 10,000s into 1000s, and even 1000s into 500 coins if you need
  
• when calling a taxi on KakaoTaxi its best to wait at a place thats easy to pick you up. For example on the correct side of the main road, otherwise the taxi may have to do several loops to get to you and in some cases to avoid doing this the driver may try to message or call you, and if you dont know Korean then you cannot respond and no one likes a grumpy taxi driver. Also, its simply cheaper and faster for you
  
• at many tourist places (ESPECIALLY at the fish market), vendors will try to convince you to come buy at their stall or come into their restaurant etc. Personally, I have dealt with a lot of this overseas and will simply ignore them and continue walking and would recommend you do as well. There are plenty of vendors who are not pushy with cheapebetter products.
  
• if using the KTX high speed train to get from city to city, remember to prebook your tickets on the korail website up to 30 days before the trip, also remember they are not return tickets so you must book both trips separately.
  

Random thoughts:

• you will probably spend more cash than you think. This is one thing I wasn't prepared for as everyone was saying you basically don't need cash. If you're like me and enjoy streetfood and arcades, etc, then it would be good to get a good chunk of cash out, especially since your CCs could fail and you may need to pay in cash. Traveling with myself and my girlfriend we still ended up spending about $600+ CAD during the trip
  
• as early as 2 months ago I saw comments saying myeongdong was "still dead", and I don't know how it was pre pandemic, but when I was there it was extremely busy. To the point you had to constantly stop and wait for people to keep walking through.
  

I will continue to edit and post more things as I think of them, if you have any questions then feel free to comment and I'll reply!

I am only accepting PayPal F&F.
Shipping is not included. Open to bundle offers.
​

$175	Shantae: half genie hero, pirate curse, risky revenge director's cut, slipcover	Selling as a bundle, all sealed	PS5
$40	Cthulhu Save Christmas	Sealed	PS5
$55	River city girls	Sealed	PS5
$95	Castlevania Requiem [Classic Edition]	Sealed	PS4
$75	Uncharted golden abyss	Sealed, small tear at the back	PS Vita
$60	Mvp baseball 2005	Sealed	Gamecube
$15	Dragon Ball Z Budokai player choice	Game, case, manual	Gamecube
$225	Pikmin	Sealed	Gamecube
$25	4 gameboy coloadvance lot (all loose) include pac-man collection GBA, spongebob square pants, lizzie mcguire 3 gba, tetris	All loose, selling as a bundle only	Gameboy Advance
$75	Fire Emblem Sacred Stones	Loose	Gameboy advance
$90	Golden sun + Golden sun the lost age	Both loose	Gameboy advance
$8	Lord Of The Rings Two Towers	Loose	Gameboy advance
$23	Mario kart super circuit	Loose	Gameboy advance
$5	Snood	Loose	Gameboy advance
$950	Mario and luigi superstar saga (sealed)	Sealed	Gameboy advance
$1200	Sealed gameboy color teal	Sealed, great condition	Gameboy Color
$30	Nano Assault	Loose	3ds
$45	Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Gates To Infinity	CIB	3ds
$40	Star Fox 64 3D	CIB	3ds
$12	Super smash bros	CIB	3ds
$5	Mario Vs donkey kong mini land	Manual only	DS
$18	Mario party DS	CIB	DS
$185	Mega Man Star Force 3 Red Joker	CIB, great condition	DS
$5	ATV Quad Frenzy	Loose	DS
$25	Dig Dug Digging Strike	CIB, sticker residue on the front	DS
$10	Super monkey ball touch & roll	Game, case, manual	DS
$30	3 wii games bundle include Truck racer, Miniclip Sushi Go-Round, Brave A Warrior's Tale	All games are sealed. Sealed game top right seal is broken. Selling as a bundle	Wii

​
​

$50	2064: Read Only Memories	Sealed	Switch
$50	Arc Of Alchemist	Sealed	Switch
$45	Astalon: Tears Of The Earth	Sealed	Switch
$65	Axiom Verge 1 & 2	Sealed	Switch
$30	Battle Chef Brigade Deluxe	CIB, LRG variant	Switch
$30	Battle Chef Brigade Deluxe	CIB, Bestbuy variant	Switch
$45	Black Bird	Sealed	Switch
$50	BloodRayne Betrayal: Fresh Bites	Sealed	Switch
$105	Bloodrayne 1 & 2: Revamped [Dual Pack]	Sealed	Switch
$100	Bloodstained curse of the moon	CIB, best buy variant	Switch
$60	Bloodstained curse of the moon 2	PAX west variant, sealed, small cut on the plastic cover	Switch
$65	Code of princess EX	Launch edition with soundtrack	Switch
$40	DARQ complete edition	Sealed	Switch
$95	Deponia Collection	Sealed	Switch
$60	Doom the classic collection	Sealed	Switch
$60	Dusk	Sealed	Switch
$55	Fairy Tail	Game, case, insert	Switch
$120 shipped	Fire emblem engage divine edition	Top seal broken, box is in decent condition	Switch
$33	Giga Wrecker ALT	Sealed, LRG variant	Switch
$35	Grand mountain adventure	Sealed	Switch
$35	Gris	LRG variant, sealed	Switch
$35	Hyper Parasite	Sealed	Switch
$30	Ion Fury	CIB	Switch
$85	Jay And Silent Bob: Mall Brawl	Sealed	Switch
$65	Langrisser I & II	Game, case, insert	Switch
$45	Last day of June	Sealed	Switch
$150 + shipping	Legend of Zelda Tears of the kingdom collector edition	Broken seal from shipping, otherwise unopened	Switch
$46	Mercenary Kings	CIB	Switch
$75	Metal Unit super rare games	Sealed	Switch
$100	Minecraft: Story Mode Season Two	CIB	Switch
$60	Monster Sanctuary	Sealed	Switch
$50	Murder By Numbers Playasia edition	Sealed	Switch
$65	Octopath Traveler	CIB	Switch
$60	Oninaki	Sealed, JPN version	Switch
$50	Othercide	Sealed	Switch
$40	Pokemon Brilliant Diamond	Sealed	Switch
$40	Pokemon Shield	CIB	Switch
$50	Quake	Sealed	Switch
$60	Rogue Heroes Ruins Of Tasos	Sealed	Switch
$56	Shantae and the seven sirens	Bestbuy variant	Switch
$65	Shantae and the seven sirens	LRG variant	Switch
$50	Slime-San Superslime Edition	CIB	Switch
$55	Sol Cresta: Dramatic Edition	Sealed	Switch
$80	Super mario party joycon bundle box only	BOX ONLY, no game or joycons, mint condition	Switch
$160	Stranger Things 3: The Game standard edition	Sealed	Switch
$35	Ms. Splosion Man	CIB	Switch
$45	River City Girls Zero	Sealed	Switch
$50	The missing	Sealed	Switch
$43	The mummy demastered	Sealed, bestbuy variant	Switch
$20	Valkyria Chronicles 4	Case and joycon skin only no game	Switch
$15	Witcher 3 wild hunt complete edition	No game, PEGI, box and insert and case	Switch
$45	World's End Club Deluxe Edition	Sealed	Switch
$40	Xenoblade chronicles 2	Loose	Switch

​
Adam's venture origins - $30
Creature in the well (sealed) - $50
Captain Tsubasa Rise of the new champions - $20
Deemo - $50
Disgaea 5 Japanese version with English - $45
Disgaea 5 - $30
Doom 64 - $40
HOA (pax west exclusive variant with sunflower seeds, sealed) - $100
HOA (sticker residue from gamestop) - $30
Knights And Bikes limited run (sealed) - $45
Oxenfree (no game, just case and manual) - $35
River City Girls (Asian version play english) - $33
Salt and sanctuary (sealed, drowned tome edition) - $140
Sniper elite 4 (sealed) - $35
Super bomber man R (PAL) - $15
Towerfall bestbuy edition (sealed) - $40
Tiny Barbarian launch edition CIB - $20
World end's club deluxe edition bestbuy cover (sealed) - $40
​
No case:
Bubble Bobble 4 Friends (minor damage on the cartridge covert art) - $30
Lego Marvel Super Heroes - $25
Star Wars: Jedi Knights II: Jedi Outcast - $30
​

Trading cards

Super rare games
- The lions song sealed pack $10
- Mundaun sealed pack $10
- Last day of June sealed pack $10
​

Gamecube manual only

Warioware $30
Mario Party 5 - $25
F zero gx - $25

Standing and moving still brought the Arbiter a lot of pain. But the Law’s grim enforcer couldn’t let anyone see that weakness. Especially not with the pirate before them and the very same assassin who had nearly killed them weeks before beneath that pirate’s foot.
The Arbiter had only just been cleared for light duty and decided to spend that time with the Officers in charge of watching the pirates Demon ship. They weren’t ADCU since those officers couldn’t be wasted on a simple stakeout. The Arbiter however had been assured the Officers in charge there were the best they had. But not two minutes within the stakeout tent the Arbiter had learned that the pirate Captain had slipped past the officers assigned to tail her. And more disturbingly that every pirate who left the Astaroth had slipped their tails with disdainful ease.

The utter lack of concern had further stoked their fury. According to the officer on duty every pirate that left eventually made a mess of something and stirred up a minor disturbance. And that only a few that left were unaccounted for. 

The complete lack of awareness for how shady and suspicious all that should have sounded baffled the Arbiter’s mind. They knew crime and violence didn’t come so naturally to other species as it did for the Arbiter’s human mind. But the failure to make such a basic connection that the pirates were creating distractions so that other pirates could do their work covertly, screamed at incompetence.
That led to the Arbiter learning that all the officers in charge of the overwatch operation were actually low level beat cops and file clerks. Looking into the system used to select these officers the Arbiter learned that they weren’t just incompetent, but so incompetent that the staggering number of negative reports had confused the filing system and had placed them into the highest bracket of trusted officers. The system was made to calculate negative values but couldn’t properly place such incompetent people into their proper bracket because there wasn’t a bracket appropriately low enough to place them into. So instead it simply went past the lowest level and placed them into the highest level.
And of course such poor officers couldn’t simply be fired because the officers workers union would make a fuss. Which meant the SS couldn’t replace these idiots with any slightly more intelligent sapients.
The bureaucratic idiocy was so infuriating that the Arbiter had lashed out at a nearby pole before they could think better of it. The pole snapped at the impact, fell over, and collapsed half the tent with it.
After that little outburst the Arbiter decided to take a walk and calm down. Only to stumble upon the missing pirate captain locked in a life-or-death battle with the very same assassin who had ambushed them just weeks before.
The Arbiter hadn’t been there for the start of the fight, but simple deduction was enough to reason that the assassin had likely initiated the conflict. They had mentioned Astarte’s name on the night of the attack. And the Pirate had no reason to seek out and attack the assassin.
During that fight The Arbiter had barely survived their encounter with the assassin. The assassin’s prosthetic modifications presented a gap in power that the Arbiter just couldn’t bridge. But despite fighting what should have been a one sided battle, the pirate was doing surprisingly well. In fact if the Arbiter was any judge, Astarte seemed to have a slight advantage.
Not in speed, power, or endurance. The assassin’s mechanical body was simply too powerful for a human to matchup. But in skill Astarte out matched the mechanical assassin.
Astarte dodged and weaved without effortless ease, getting past the assassin’s guard to strike at their, or her, mechanical body. If the assassin hadn’t been a machine then Astarte would have won by now, even with the gap in power.
Rachel felt slightly ashamed at her own poor showing against the assassin when compared to Astarte’s fight. The shame then quickly burned into anger as the Arbiter gripped the rifle at their side and pulled it out to try and shoot the assassin. Unlike the Arbiter had been that night, Astarte was wearing that ridiculous dark red armor and had a sword like she was some sort of space samurai. The Arbiter had done well that night, and their lack of superior weaponry had been their only flaw. One that had been amended with the addition of a more powerful pulse rifle.
They tried to line up a shot on the assassin that wouldn’t hit Astarte, when Astarte began to speak. “You wanna know the funny part. Greyson didn’t even care that you were gone.”
Wait, did these two share a past. The Arbiter guessed that old saying about birds of a feather was true. Who was Greyson? Some sort of man they had both known?
“Didn’t even question me about. Just said ‘Zera’s gone, now you will guard my back’” the pirate continued. “Then not even a week later I was second in command and got to sleep in his comfy bed.” The pirate gave her attacker a sloppy lascivious grin.
“And then you killed him like the deceptive whore you are!” the assassin spat, her attacks becoming sloppier with more openings.
Where these two quarreling over a man? The Arbiter felt bile rise into their throat. Two of the deadliest human women they had ever seen fighting over some man they had known. Pathetic. No man was worth that. Especially not whoever this Greyson bastard was given how quickly he had let the pirate into his bed after his first girlfriend disappeared.
Wait, Greyson, pirate, dead. Were they talking about the infamous human pirate, Byron Greyson? The one who had been a menace to the Femeri system, who was responsible for the disappearance of over thirty thousand humans and the deaths of many more? The one whose headless body had turned up one day aboard the drifting remains of the Black Saint? It couldn’t be, right?
But the rise of the Astaroth and Astarte had happened shortly before Greyson’s mysterious death. It seemed too coincidental.
“Of course I did, I refused to be the latest women he ruined and dumped into the gutter. Face it, your days were numbered. If it wasn’t me it would have been him.” The pirate said with a derisive sneer.
A bit callous and mercenary, but if they were discussing Greyson then likely not inaccurate.
The assassin however didn’t see that logic. “LIAR!” she screamed as she flew into a rage.
Then the Arbiter saw the reasoning behind Astarte’s taunts. This assassin was dangerously unhinged, and Astarte was using that to bait her into a trap.
The next sequence of attacks was too fast for the Arbiter to follow. A sword hilt to the face, followed by something launching out of the assassin’s arm. Then somehow Astarte had her other arm in her grip and flipped the assassin over a shoulder. With the assassin on the ground, Astarte quickly pressed one leg to their back, and with the arm in hand began to pull. The assassins sudden ultrasonic scream made the Arbiter vison darken at the edges, and maybe caused their ears to bleed a little.
Then the arm came out with a pop and the screaming stopped.
The pirate looked at the arm for a second, before lifting it above her head and swinging it down into the assassin’s head. The loud conk of metal on metal was enough to startle the Arbiter out of her awe and terror.
The barrel of their pulse cannon lifted up with Astarte centered in its sight “FREEZE!” the Arbiter roared with all their might.
Astarte paused mid swing, looked towards the Arbiter, and then raised both of her hands above her head. As well as the assassins severed arm. “It was self defense.” The pirate said quickly.
The Arbiter could have sworn they saw a flash of red. But it happened so fast that they weren’t sure if it was really there. And if it was then why would the pirates eye flash red?
The eye crossed by a gruesome scar. Did the pirate have a glass color changing eye?
No, her eyes were both clearly moving around and focusing on things like they should. Could it be cybernetic? Those were supposed to be impossible, too complicated to properly miniaturize with current technology.
It was something to investigate.
The Arbiter had been so focused on Astarte that they hadn’t been watching the assassin close enough. In a movement the Arbiter hadn’t seen the assassin threw Astarte off her back before popping up to her feet. Astarte went down onto the ground and the assassin lurched forward to attack her downed foe. But before she could reach the pirate three quick blasts from the Arbiters rifle stopped her in her tracks.
One had winged her side, another went wide. But the third had caught her right where a liver should have been. The assassin stuttered, but wasn’t dead. They dodged the next shot by ducking and then the second by somehow leaping ten meters into the air and onto a window seal. The assassin looked down on the two women and was clearly judging their chances at victory. But with an, admittable impressive, one-handed springlike flip Astarte was back on her feet, sword ready for another round.
The assassin’s strange mechanical face scowled before another impossible jump sent her over a nearby building and out of sight.
The Arbiter relaxed once the assassin was gone, but Astarte didn’t. The pirate turned, grabbed the Arbiters gloved hand, and pulled her into a jog down the open alleyway. “Come on, there’s an open lot nearby. Can’t jump us from there.” She said without looking back as she dragged the Arbiter along.
For a stunned few seconds Rachel stared at the strong hand grasping her own smaller one. But then the Arbiter saw the logic in Astarte’s worry and forced their hand to release the pirate and ran alongside her.
A few times the Arbiter had noticed a thin humanoid shadow leap between the buildings above them, but a quick turn down an alley from Astarte had them moving away from the incoming ambush from the assassin chasing them via roof tops. In no time at all they made it to an open loading dock for a nearby warehouse. Astarte ran into its center and scanned the roof tops, the Arbiter followed suit.
The Arbiter and the Pirate stood back to back, each searching for any signs of the mutual foe.
“There!” Astarte shouted while pointing her finger at a roof top.
The Arbiter stared up, but couldn’t see anything. But following the pirate’s direction they raised their rifle and shot at the edge of the building Astarte had pointed at. The blasts landed and then the crouched figure of the assassin rose up and backed away.
How had the pirate seen her? The Arbiter spared her a glance and saw a second flash of red before the pirate shifted her head.
“You should call for backup.” The pirate stated while still scanning the roof tops.
“To arrest the assassin?” the Arbiter asked before they could think better of it.
Astarte snorted. “Wouldn’t trust any SS to arrest a dead log, let alone Zera. But more witnesses might scare her off.”
Two things stood out in that statement, the assassin’s apparent name, and “SS, is that supposed to be short for station security?”
“Schutzstaffel actually, its just a strange coincidence they line up” the Pirate joked wryly.
The Arbiter scowled “You think the Station security are like the Nazi’s?” The Arbiter’s lessons about the various evil factions during Earths history had left her with nightmares for years. Crucifixion, death by a thousand cuts, blood eagles, and the like had disturbed their six-year-old mind. Their lessons had spent weeks on all the evils humanity inflicted upon each other, all the way until First contact.
“If the kinky boot fits.” Astarte said while examining the Arbiter’s own black boots.
The Arbiter swished their cloak to hide their boots, and the pirates gaze snapped back up to the rooftops. The Arbiter made the call, and the idiots in charge of the tent said they would need a few minutes to ‘locate’ their rifles and arm shields. Why they had to be located in the first place confused the Arbiter? They couldn’t be so incompetent as to not know where their weapons were, right?”
Tense minutes past before Astarte let out a sigh of relief. “I think she gave up.” she then shot the Arbiter an accusing glare “I almost had the bitch. If you hadn’t interfered we wouldn’t have to worry about her coming back.”
"You expect me to stand by while you committed murder?” The Arbiter growled, now stepping back from the pirate and reaching for a set of cuffs.
The pirate frowned, then glanced up as if recalling a distant memory. “I… ugh felt my life was in imminent danger, and feared for my life while facing down a clearly aggressive and violent deathworlder with a weapon. I used whatever objects I could find at the time…I carry no weapons and was forced to use ceremonial objects in crude, and ugh…unusual ways for self defense. I did not think retreat was possible so I acted to end the threat” she said in a bland staccato rhythm of everyone reciting words from memory. Her words obviously citing several different laws pertaining to self-defense.
The Arbiter felt an eye twitch. “The law pertaining to Deathworlder assailants was not intended to include Deathworlder victims.” The Arbiter said slowly.
Astarte shrugged “Union vs. Trevor Philips established that the enforcement of the law was done by the letter of the law, not the spirit. By that ruling and precedent I acted reasonably and was within my rights for self-defense. Any attempt to detain me would result in punitive measures from my legal representation.”
In all their time on the ADCU the Arbiter had never encountered a criminal so well versed in the intricacies of Union law. Some loop holes were well known, and easy for Officers to circumvent in order to attain an arrest. But the Arbiter hadn’t encountered something like this before.
The Arbiter looked down and noticed the sword she still held, red blood from the pirate running down its blade. “So that sword isn’t a weapon?” The Arbiter asked pointedly.
The feline smile that covered Astarte’s face sent shivers up their spine. “My dear officer, as you can notice I am of half Japanese heritage, a hafu if you will. I am dressing in the traditional fashions of my people. The armor, the katana, and the wakizashi are all hallmarks of the samurai I am descended from. None of these are worn for anything beyond cultural heritage. And for that matter, my crew wear the same to honor my ancestry.”
The Arbiter sighed. Astarte’s defense, though blatantly false, was airtight. Arresting her now would only give her ammunition to legally strike back. And with the recent backlash of the Deathworlder crack down the Arbiter could doom Judge’s career. It had been a celebrated move of the last chief, but the knock-on effects of it had resulted in several months of rioting, looting, and political discourse in the heart of the Union. The last chief was forced to step down and Judge took his place and was still trying to reverse the damages. Which was hard with all the precincts fighting him on it. Those officers had too many friends torn apart by Terran criminals to ever let that grudge go.
“Then you may leave the arm behind and be one your way.” The Arbiter ordered.
Astarte blinked, “the arm?”
The Arbiter pointed to the severed arm still within the pirate’s grasp “That is evidence in an on going investigation. LEAVE. IT. BEHIND” The Arbiter explained, growling out the last words slowly. Just because Astarte had likely saved the Arbiter’s life with some quick thinking didn’t erase the fact that she was a person of interest/suspect in the same case.
Astarte glanced down at the severed arm and blinked as if surprised she was still holding it. Then tossed it carelessly onto the ground. “All yours, make sure to check for bugs before plugging it in.”
“Bugs?”
“Computer viruses hidden in its OS. Thing could have all sorts of things hidden within.”
“And how do you know?”
“I don’t. It’s just the sort of thing I would do myself. Try loading it onto a separate server. Oh, and check for small explosives.”
“Danm Deathworlders” the Arbiter growled as they now considered the severed arm on the ground next to a small splatter of Astarte’s blood. She was right, Deathworlders were known for their tricks and traps. Humans especially. During one investigation a load of seized morphine from an illegal clinic had been stored next to an unstable chemical that reacted poorly to the jostling of the transport and destroyed the evidence in a fiery explosion.
Astarte chuckled “Glass stones Arbiter.”
“What?”
“Glass stones, it’s a human malaphor of sorts. I’ll leave the details for you to figure out. Good luck with tracking down Zera, I’d recommend starting with the prison records on Union Station Parox.” She said as she turned aways and strode off. Walking in the opposite direction of the arriving officers, half of which were missing their weapons or shields.
The Arbiter let out a sigh as she observed the most incompetent idoits she had ever seen strut onto the lot without a care in the universe.
“You called us Sir.” The lead Voral said.
The Arbiter took in a deep breath “Yes I did. Ten minutes ago.”
“It was a long walk.” The officer said defensively, no care for the Arbiters growing anger.
“Its only a few hundred standard meters. But that doesn’t matter I encountered an assassin in the midst of their crime. That’s their arm.”
The Voral looked panicked and began to look from side to side.
The Arbiter felt an involuntary eye twitch and clenched her fist. “The assassin is gone.”
The Voral relaxed “So you want us to secure the evidence?” he asked.
That had been the Arbiters plan, but now seeing them mill about aimlessly they changed their mind. “No, secure the area and stay out of CSI’s way. Understood?”
The officer looked offended. “Sir, its just an arm. We don’t need to wait around for CSI, one of my men can bag it right now.”
Patience wearing thin the Arbiter marched right into the Voral’s face. The fact the Officer loomed over her by two meters did little to diminish the Arbiter’s menacing aura. “AM. I. UNDERSTOOD?”
“Yes Sir.” The cowed Voral officer answered with a nervous buzz of his wings.
“Then go.”
Ten minutes later six medium shuttles from the CSI unit, and two small shuttles from the ADCU were on the scene of the lot and in the alley where the Arbiter had stumbled upon Astarte. Edict and Prosecutor began to jump along the rooftops, recreating the assassin’s movements and collecting more evidence.
The assassin’s arm, and the dried sample of Astarte’s blood was collected. As well as fragments of what looked to be a broken glass eye with a micro camera.
They lost the assassin’s trail after they ducked into the inner hull of the station and escaped across the pipes, wires, and support structure of Unity.
Thirty minutes after that they departed for the central precinct. The Arbiter within the darkened confines of the ADCU shuttle felt safe enough to take off the hood. Caleb and Bartolv did the same. They noticed her pensive mood and didn’t disturb her.
It wasn’t lost on her that Astarte knew exactly who this assassin was. And if she hadn’t left those pretty blatant clues about how to identify her then then Rachel would be trying to acquire a warrant to bring her in for questioning. But that still left her with a lot of questions.
And despite the answers she might get, she had the sinking feeling it wouldn’t be enough to see the whole picture. How big was this whole thing?
Previous/Patreon/Next

Cast of Characters:
Kevin Eggs– A bumbling wannabe Hibachi chef fresh out of culinary arts school
Mr. Kritt – Restaurant Manager and owner of Moriyuki’s Grill.
Male restaurant patron
Female restaurant patron
Nick the chef – A drunken hibachi cook who gets himself fired. He eventually carries out an armed robbery to compensate for his lost earnings.
Synopsis:
A clueless and reckless culinary arts attempts hibachi cooking at his first job without much success.
Stage setting:
A kitchen/bar island counter top is positioned at center stage. Three bar stools line the front while a stove/grill top remains partially hidden behind the counter. Above the counter is a dangling Japanese paper lantern.
(Lighting illuminates the main stage area. Male and female patrons are separately seated on their respective barstools with each one positioned opposite the other at the end of each counter corner. They are partially facing the audience with their gazes focused on the main chef behind the counter. Main chef Nick is fully facing the audience and is performing his tasks poorly under a drunken stupor. Both restaurant patrons are grimacing and recoiling nervously due to his recklessness. Kevin enters stage right with a confused expression written on his face.)
(Nick is swaying left and right on his feet while clumsily waving a meat cleaver in one hand and an empty bottle in the other)
NICK
So, you two (hiccup) wanna see me make a chicken hand sandwich? (hiccup)
MALE PATRON
(Grimacing and scared) Please, no. We just wanted a vegetable stir fry and steak. Maybe coming here was a bad idea.
(Kevin tries to grab someone’s attention, but no one listens.)
KEVIN
Um excuse me?
FEMALE PATRON
(Also grimacing) You make a chicken and ham sandwich?
(Nick is aimlessly clattering his cleaver against the grill/stove top.)
NICK
Not chicken and ham, (hiccup) chicken and hand sandwich! Now put your pretty little hand on the cutting board and I’ll show ya.
FEMALE PATRON
(Shrieking) No!
(Mr. Kritt frantically enters stage left and interrupts the chaotic scene. He is shaking his fist in outrage)
MR. KRITT
(Furiously) Nick! You’ve been drinking again! How many times have I warned you that if I catch you intimidating our customers while under the influence, I would throw your drunken ass out of my establishment!
KEVIN
Um, pardon me?
(Kevin is still ignored.)
(Nick points his meat cleaver at Mr. Kritt.)
NICK
Okay dude, you need to chill.
MR. KRITT
Don’t you point that thing at me!
(Mr. Kritt pries the cleaver out of Nick’s hand by the handle and drops it on the countertop. He then points his finger directly towards the right stage exit.)
MR. KRITT
You’re fired! Get out! You’re a menace to the patrons and the establishment.
(After a pause, Mr. Kritt steps towards Nick, seizes him by the back collar of his shirt and pants and proceeds to forcibly eject him from the building. Nick is dragged to the right exit. Kevin side-steps out of their way.)
MR. KRITT
Get the hell out of my restaurant! Out! Out! Out! Out!
(Nick is shoved out the right stage exit. He is still clutching his empty bottle. Mr. Kritt turns his focus to Kevin)
MR. KRITT
What do you want?!
(Kevin stammers through Mr. Kritt’s annoyed gaze. He produces a certification paper.)
KEVIN
I…I’m sorry. My name’s Kevin Eggs and I’m looking for a job. I’m fresh out of culinary arts school and was looking for a hibachi kitchen position…these are my credentials…
(Mr. Kritt swipes the paper out of Kevin’s hand, glances over it for a second, and hands it back to him. He is much calmer at this point, but still retains a firm tone of voice.)
MR. KRITT
Congratulations, Kevin. You’re hired. Welcome to Moriyuki’s Hibachi Bar and Grill. You can start now.
(He leads Kevin back to the Island stove countertop and hands him a togue and apron.)
KEVIN
Wait. No formal interview. No questions asked? Thank you, Mister…
(Both men firmly shake hands)
MR. KRITT
…Kritt. Jay Kritt. Restaurant owner.
(Mr. Kritt shifts his attention to the petrified patrons who are perched at the edge of their barstools.)
MR. KRITT
My sincerest apologies to the both of you for what just happened. The misconduct you just witnessed does not reflect our company policy. I assure you that this will not happen again. Perhaps if you two choose to come here again, I would be most happy to offer you both a complimentary dinner on the house? I understand if you do not wish return here.
(Both patrons relax and lighten up a little. They periodically sip from their water glasses)
MALE PATRON
No, as a matter of fact, I think we’ll stick around and give our order another shot. It is, after all, complimentary.
FEMALE PATRON
And I am curious to see how this new chef will perform.
MR. KRITT
I assure you that you will not be disappointed.
(He shoots Kevin a stern glance and addresses him in a strict tone. Mr. Kritt also points his menacing index finger towards Kevin.)
MR. KRITT
One little foul-up from you, and you’re out of here! Oh, and by the way, take your shoes off. We need to keep a ‘Japanese’ feel to the atmosphere. (Note that Mr. Kritt uses air quotes to emphasize the word ‘Japanese’ in his sentence.)
KEVIN
Oh, sorry about that, sir.
(Keven bends over behind the counter to take his shoes off while Mr. Kritt exits stage left.)
KEVIN
Sooooooo, what did you two order?
FEMALE PATRON
We already placed our orders earlier. The last chef put our orders under the counter.
(Kevin bends over to look beneath the stovetop and remains invisible until he finds two pieces of paper and emerges back into view. He holds up each piece of paper and reads them aloud.)
KEVIN
Ah! One order of soy stir fry, and another order of fried flank steak with scallops. Coming right up!
(Kevin bangs his fist on the countetable surface and shouts out a command. Both patrons appear startled and tense up every time he does this)
KEVIN
Ahem! Tomato!
(An offstage hand from behind the scenes tosses Kevin a tomato. He catches it and places it on the counter, then bangs his fist again.)
KEVIN
Cucumber!
(Offstage hand tosses Kevin a cucumber which he sets down. He bangs his fist and repeats the process)
KEVIN
Onion!
(Kevin catches an onion, places it next to the other vegetables, and bangs his fist again.)
KEVIN
Meat!
(A hand tosses him a piece of steak. Kevin catches it, but almost drops it as it constantly slips and slides in his hand.)
KEVIN
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Got it! (Chuckling) Heheh! Slippery little piece of steak, ain’t ya? Don’t worry fellow customer, I successfully grabbed your meat and now I’m going to beat it for being naughty little sucker.
MALE PATRON
(Sounding disturbed) Please do not say that ever again.
(Kevin realizes his Freudian slip)
KEVIN
Ooops. That didn’t sound right.
(After setting the fillet on the counter. He pulls two spatulas out of a cupboard beneath the stove counter top. As the patrons gradually ease up from their muscle tension, Kevin begins twirling the spatulas in each hand. As he twirls each one, he loses his coordination and drops them both on the surface.)
KEVIN
(Smiling) Sorry. First day.
(Kevin takes both spatulas and uses them like percussion instruments. He uses synchronized hand movements and coordinated arm crossing gestures to bang out a tune on the hard grill surface using the kitchen utensils. He loses his groove and momentum by accidentally flipping a spatula out of his grasp and onto the ground behind him.)
KEVIN
(Grinning) My bad. Oh well, guess I’ll have to cook with just one utensil.
(Kevin wipes off the stovetop surface with a rag.)
KEVIN
So, how long have you two known each other?
MALE AND FEMALE PATRONS
(Unison) We’re not together.
KEVIN
Oh, sorry. What’s your story, then?
(Kevin looks at the man patron as he begins chopping the onion on a cutting board)
MALE PATRON
I’ve been negotiating this multi-million-dollar contract all day with some of our biggest partners from Japan. It was a tough one alright, but once you get past the language barriers and persuade those electronic geeks to start pushing their signatures on every certified document, It’s a success story. Ironically, I thought to myself, why not celebrate this victory at a Japanese themed eatery to make things a bit more apropos? The guys at the office said -
KEVIN
(In a sing-song voice) Bo-oring! What’s your story, miss?
(Kevin shifts his eyes to the female patron. The male patron shuts up and scowls at Kevin)
FEMALE PATRON
Me? Oh, well…my boyfriend broke up with me and…I loved him so much…
(Female patron starts sniffling and crying. Kevin starts sniffling and tearing up as well due to the onion fumes)
KEVIN
Yeah?
FEMALE PATRON
He told me that he would be my soulmate, forever. And then last night, he dumped me for some French slut! So here I am, eating alone again…
(Female Patron breaks out in tears. Kevin follows suit.)
FEMALE PATRON
(Emotionally Distraught) I mean, what do French girls have to offer over us American women? Looks? Wit? Charm? Non-stop steamy jungle sex? Well fuck you, Sean! Fuck you! Oh, I’m sorry cook Kevin. Did I upset you? You seem so sensitive and empathetic to my feelings right now. That’s so sweet of you.
KEVIN
(Sobbing) (*sniff. Sniff\)* No! It’s just these stupid onions!
(Female Patron drops her head in disappointment.)
FEMALE PATRON
Oh…
KEVIN
I sound like a wuss right now. I’m a badass hibachi chef, not a wuss. I’ll prove it to you guys by karate chopping this onion with my hand!
(Kevin raises his hand in flat, vertical knife motion above his head and brings his hand down hard on the cutting board.)
KEVIN
(Yells) Hiiyah!
(Kevin’s hand chop makes contact with the remaining whole onion. Instead of slicing it in half, the onion slides off of the counter and onto the floor.)
KEVIN
Dammit.
(Kevin pauses, then recomposes himself. He slides some of the freshly chopped onions onto the stove)
KEVIN
Now where were we? Oh, yes! The grill. (Cheerfully) I have an idea! Let’s get rid of these long faces and lighten things up! Nobody here should be unhappy.
MALE PATRON
I was happy until you opened you pissed on my parade.
KEVIN
It’s not stir-fry without eggs in it. They don’t call me Kevin Eggs for nothing.
(Kevin retrieves a carton of eggs from a bottom cupboard beneath the stove)
KEVIN
Since I’m sometimes a scatter brain and mess things up, my family used to call me Kevin scrambled eggs. Get it? Scrambled eggs! Ha! Ha! Ha! (laughing)
(Kevin’s laughter quickly dies down as he notices that his joke was received with cold, dead stares. Female patron utters an annoyed, soft groan.)
KEVIN
(Upbeat chuckle) Okay. Here’s a good one. When I went to Hollywood, I bumped into actor Kevin Bacon. Well, he was nice enough to give me his autograph when I asked him for one. And when I did that, my parents called us the breakfast combo. Why? Because his name’s Kevin and so is mine. Only thing is, our last names complement each other nicely. Bacon and Eggs! Arr! Arr! Arr!
MALE PATRON
(Interrupting) Just shut up and cook the damn food already.
KEVIN
Sorry.
FEMALE PATRON
Yeah, enough. When do we get to eat?
KEVIN
(Ecstatically) Hey. Watch this!
(Kevin selects an egg out of the carton. He picks up his spatula and holds it vertically above his head as if to bring it down in a chopping motion. He underhandedly tosses the egg into mid-air in front of him while attempting to split it in the fraction of a second when it remains directly suspended before his face. He does a karate chop shout during in course of action)
KEVIN
Hiyaa!
(Kevin misses the target and swings into an empty space due to poor timing. The egg plummets to the floor and breaks.)
KEVIN
Shit!
(Kevin tosses another egg into midair and repeats the process a second time.)
KEVIN
Hiyaa!
(He swings/chops at a downward angle and misses again. The egg hits the floor. Both patrons cringe at his efforts.)
KEVIN
Shit!
(Kevin tries tossing up an egg a third time, but misses his target. The egg accidentally lands on the male patron’s head. Kevin is sincerely apologetic at first, but can’t help cracking a bad joke last minute. Female Patron covers her mouth in alarm.)
KEVIN
Whoops! I’m so sorry sir! That was an egg-cident.
MALE PATRON
(Angrily) I’ve had enough bullshit for one night! I’m outa here.
(Male Patron storms off the set: exit stage right)
FEMALE PATRON
(Disdainful tone) You really suck at entertainment, don’t you?
KEVIN
C’mon, give me a little credit for trying. It’s my first day here and-
(He breaks off into a panicked exclamation as fumes rise from the vegetables on the stove.)
Oh my God! The food is burning!
(Kevin frantically drops his spatula)
KEVIN
Oh, not again!
(Kevin hurriedly scoops the few veggies on the stove into his hands and onto a plate. After doing so, he realizes that he just burned his hands. He flails the wildly while looking around the room for relief. Unbeknownst to him, Mr. Kritt furiously enters the scene and stands directly behind Kevin with his hands on his hips.)
KEVIN
Owwwww! Ow! Ow! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
(Kevin submerges his hands into the female patron’s water glass and sighs with relief. She appears to be disgusted)
KEVIN
(sighing) Aaaaaaahhhh…
MR. KRITT
(Loud and agitated) Kevin! You blew it! I turn my back on you for just one second, and bang, I come back to a disaster. Unreliable. You’re fired! Out of here! Gone!
KEVIN
Mr. Kritt, it was just a little mishap. It’s still just my first day here.
MR. KRITT
Out!
(Points to exit)
(At that moment entering from stage right, Nick bursts onto the scene clad in a ski mask and carrying a handgun. Nick points the gun in the direction of Mr. Kritt, female patron, and Kevin. All three appear to be shocked and terrified.)
NICK
(Shouting angrily) Alright all of you! Hands up where I can see them! Get them the fuck up now!
(Everyone raises their hands into the air)
FEMALE PATRON
Oh my God!
MR. KRITT
(Weak and trembling tone) What the hell do you want? I have nothing special to offer.
NICK
Your money, dumbass! Front end register is empty. So I guess I’ll have to try the manager’s office instead.
MR. KRITT
(Moment of Realization) Wait a minute! You’re Nick! I recognize your voice now. I just fired your ass.
NICK
Yeah, that’s right. I’m comin’ back to get what’s mine. No paycheck, remember? So, I guess I gotta take what you owe me by force.
MR. KRITT
I don’t owe you nothin’! You’re a bum who doesn’t deserve a dime even if his life depended on it.
NICK
(More aggressively) Shut the fuck up and get me what I want before I blow your head open!
(Intimidated, Mr. Kritt takes a step back and responds in a shakier tone of voice)
MR. KRITT
Alright. Alright. If it’s money you want, then I’ll lead you back to the office. No hard feelings.
NICK
No, wait. I want something else first. Hey lady, kick your purse over here.
(Nick waves his gun at the female patron. She complies by gradually sliding her purse with her foot towards the direction of Nick)
NICK
Atta girl! Mr. Kritt? Your wallet please.
(Mr. Kritt fishes his wallet out of his pant pocket and nervously tosses it onto the floor)
NICK
(Sneering smile) Ah, last but not least, my replacement. You’re next.
(Kevin gives him a nervous smile)
KEVIN
Actually, I don’t have mine in my pocket. I put it in one of my shoes.
NICK
(Annoyed) Then get it! And no tricks! If I see a knife or a cleaver, you’re dead.
KEVIN
No worries. I won’t do anything.
(Kevin bends over to the point at which he is totally obscured by the entire counter island. Shuffling noises can be heard from behind the surface.)
NICK
What’s taking you so long?
KEVIN
Uh-just a minute! I’ve got it. Nope. That’s not it.
(A spatula is recklessly thrown over the counter top by Kevin, followed by a vegetable.)
NICK
(Uneasily agitated) Hey! Don’t do that! What are you, stupid? Quit it now!
KEVIN
I think I got! No. Not that shoe.
(One of Kevin’s shoes flies out from beneath the countertop and hits Nick in the face, knocking him unconscious. Nick’s eyes crisscross as he slumps to the ground. Mr. Kritt and the female patron exchange relieved facial expressions. Kevin then emerges into view triumphantly holding the other shoe.)
KEVIN
Here it is! Got it! Hey what happened?
MR. KRITT
(Grateful expression) You saved my business and my life. That’s what you did.
FEMALE PATRON
You sure as hell did. Now excuse me while I call the police before I throw up.
(Female Patron pulls out her phone and retrieves her purse before hastily exiting stage right.)
MR. KRITT
What did you have in those shoes?
KEVIN
(In a proud tone) They’re steel toe shoes, Mr. Kritt.
(Mr. Kritt grins while clasping Kevin over the shoulder.)
MR. KRITT
Ya know what, Kevin? Maybe you’re not so bad after all. Sure, you’re a klutz and your jokes stink, but I think I might have a good place for you here. In fact, I’ll give you another chance by training you myself. You’re rehired.
(Kevin returns the grin to his boss)
KEVIN
Really, Mr. Kritt?
MR. KRITT
Sure!
KEVIN
Mr. Kritt I’m never gonna let you down again. We’re gonna have some good times together!
(Kevin violently clasps Mr. Kritt over the shoulder causing him to grunt in pain. In spite of this Mr. Kritt manages to create a half sardonic half sincere grin on his face.)
MR. KRITT
(Grimacing) Yeahhhh...I’m sure we will.
(Lights fade out.)

Rome 2 - Divide et Impera mod roleplay run
The year is 475 Ab urbe condita, and Res publica Romana is the growing power on the Italian peninsula. Not 10 years after the end of the Samnite Wars, we at still engaged with the Etruscans to our north, while Epirus at our south tests our resolve by encroaching on our borders. We must deal with these outsiders if we are to achieve our destiny. There is a dream that is Rome. It shall be realised.
476 AUC: Legio II Equestris, under command of newly appointed Legatus Lucius Julius Libo, finalises defeat of Etrutria. Shortly after, Pyrrhus of Epirus, after years of minor border skirmishes in southern Italia, invades and occupies as far inland as Cosentia. Legio II is redeployed to assist Legio I Italia. 478 AUC: after several battles ending in Roman victory, Pyrrhus is expelled from Italia. Despite heavy losses from the campaign, Legio II completes conquest of southern Italia 479 AUC: the Senate orders Legio II to northern Italy, to subdue the tribes in Cisalpine Gaul and to bring them into the Republic 480 AUC: cautious of Rome's rapidly growing role as a Mediterranean superpower, Carthage breaks diplomatic treaties and declares war on Rome. The Punic War has begun. Legio I is tasked with defending southern Italia. Legio III Gemina raised with intention of crossing Mare Tyrrhenum and invading Corsica et Sardinia 482 AUC: after far more losses than were expected, the tribes of the Po Valley have been subdued. All the land from the Alps to the sea now fall under Roman rule. Lucius Julius Libo and Legio II will occupy the area until it is assured there is no threat of rebellion 484 AUC: in the wake of years spent fighting Carthage, our military training and equipment has evolved. We have utilised tactics from our current and former enemies, while improving our strengths and casting aside our weaknesses. Years of war has turned us into a master of violence, and we will visit this violence upon all who would threaten Rome 485 AUC: years spent besieging the port of Karalis has borne fruit - the city is now ours, and with it, the province of Corsica et Sardinia. With Legio I and Legio II in Sikelia driving out the Carthaginian forces, Mare Tyrrhenum lies solely under Roman control. In 5 years of war we have driven Carthage out of Mare Nostrum and back to Africa. Plans are already being drawn up to invade 486 AUC: our invasion of Africa has paid off. Legio I Italica immediately marched onto Qart Hadasht, to strike at their power base and cut the head from the snake. After making camp in order to lay siege, the city's defenders sallied out and attacked. Despite devastating losses, we were victorious. The survivors retreated behind the city walls, but Legio II soon arrived to reinforce the siege, and our men stormed the walls. What warriors were left were no match, and the City of Carthage is ours. Legio III will soon make landfall to push west. Legio IV Minervia has been raised in Roma, where they will make for Massalia, to visit revenge for their betrayal of us during the siege of Medhlan 487 AUC: Legio IV Minervia has successfully besieged Massalia. After successive field battles, Gnaeus Cornelius Scipio marched on the city walls and began construction of siege equipment. Massalian allies attempted to aid them, but they too were defeated, following by the occupation of the city. Let all who know, to betray Rome is to condemn your civilisation 488 AUC: the province of Africa has been fully conquered by Legio II Equestris. The lands that brought Carthage their immense wealth will now swell our coffers instead. Despite the conquest being his doing, the Senate has appointed a Junian governor, instead of a fellow Julian. Suspecting bribery, Lucius Julius Libo begins to lose faith in the Republic he serves 490 AUC: Lucius Julius Libo has given up command of Legio II Equestris and returned to Roma. Petitioning the Senate to allow him to raise a new legion for the purpose of invasion of Gaul was met with success. The politicians of Rome are now so corrupt that an unjustified war can easily be put into motion. All it took was the lie that the Gauls bordering our new lands in Massalia were hostile, and that the lands to the north were fertile and rich with resources. The senate is too blind to see that with every battle won, Libo's influence in Roman politics grows 492 AUC: a Gallic tribe calling themselves the Arverni have attacked some of our scouts, and announced their intention to rid their forests of our presence. It seems that Libo's persuasions to the Senate were not without truth. A little more more leaning about the dangers of the Gauls uniting against, and the Senate has named him Dictator until the Arverni are dealt with. Lucius Julius Libo is now the most powerful man in Rome 493 AUC: Libo dispatches loyal senators to the African provinces under the guise of resolving financial troubles, while in reality, shifting loyalty from the Senate to himself. He already had the loyalty of the soldiers, now he is aiming for the people. 494 AUC: Carthage has been expelled from the African continent, after a successful siege of Tingis by Legio III Gemina. Upon arrival of the news in Rome, Lucius Julius Libo was recalled to Rome from Gaul to relinquish his powers as dictator. Despite the Gallic War still ongoing, the Senate was growing uneasy at Libo’s rapidly growing popularity, and used a weakened Carthage as justification to end his tenure. 495 AUC: Lucius Julius Libo returned to Roma, and was met with crowds of people, protesting against the demands of the Senate. In his service to Rome, Libo had saved the Republic numerous times, and Rome was still facing external threats. The crowd proclaimed Libo to be imperator, an act only previously done by a commander’s legion, but it was enough. The Senate agreed to grant him imperium perpetuum in return for relinquishing his role as dictator, to which Libo agreed. This everlasting power would grant him the ability to overrule the Senate with vetos, even consuls, and as such, historians consider this to be the first day of the Roman Empire. For the first time in 250 years, Rome was ruled by one man - Lucius Julius Libo Imperator. 497 AUC: Since the day Libo Imperator was granted everlasting imperium, he had taken great strides to improve the overall morale of the citizens of Rome by organising games and granting grain doles to the poorer members of society. Attending Senate meetings, he made sure to veto every bill that was put through without his prior knowledge. He prevented a list of enemies by compromising on many issues and joining their vote on bills he supported. He gained significant public support by making promises to rid the Republic (as the people of Rome still believed it to be) of political corruption, and then by delivering on this promise in steps, by exposing guilty senators. The size of the Senate began to shrink as he put through bills under the justification that that smaller it was, the less corruption there could be. Within 2 years it went from 370 senators to less than 100. His power continued to grow, but the people were happy. 498 AUC: Legio II Equestris, now under command of Gnaeus Julius Agrippa, has captured the last remaining stronghold of the Edetani, the final ally of the Carthaginians. With nobody to assist them, the end of the war is on the horizon. In capturing the city, the eastern coast of Iberia is entirely ours, completely enveloping the coastline of the western half of Mare Nostrum. Libo Imperator has grown bolder in his power, now requiring all bills passed to be finalised with his seal, and the words Imperium Romanum 499 AUC: with our legions pushed to their breaking point, and replacement recruits becoming more difficult to come by, Libo Imperator initiates a series of reforms, aimed at swelling the numbers with ease by removing the property requirements to join. Now, all who hold Roman citizenship will be eligible to serve her. With the state also supplying equipment, there is now uniformity amongst the legions. Gone are the old classifications, and replaced with general legionaries. Already we are seeing a large surge in recruitment across the Roman world, primarily from the lower classes looking for their chance at glory. 500 AUC: after 20 long years, the Punic War is over. Legio I besieged the city of Kartuba, awaiting reinforcements from Legio III, but the Carthaginians sallied out in an attempt to prevent being surrounded. After a decisive defeat in the field, there was no standing force left to defend to city, and our forces swept through, enslaving what civilians weren’t dead by the end of the day. As news of the victory spreads throughout Rome, a wave of nationalism follows it, with the people wanting to continue the expansion of our borders. Any nation that isn’t Rome is a potential enemy, and the senate, under the demands of Libo Imperator, fans the flames of this idea. Rome is about to embark of a series of conquests not seen since Alexander. Lucius Cornelius Scipio has been appointed commander of the Iberian forces, with the Legatus of each legion reporting to him. Quintus Trebellius Strabo will lead the conquest of Gaul, while Libo Imperator himself will take several legions into Germania. 502 AUC: Legio V Rapax sails across Mare Adriaticum to make landfall in Apollonia. Decades have passed since we pushed Epirus out of Italia, but inability to bring the war to them forced a peace between us. A peace that is now over. After many battles, Cornelius Scipio has conquered Iberia in its entirety. Rome now stretches all the way to Mare Tenebrosum. Upon their return to Rome, Scipio and his fellow Legates will be honoured with a Triumph. 503 AUC: Epirus is destroyed, their pitiful excuse for a kingdom overrun by Roman sword. Legio V Rapax will oversee the Latinisation of the local government, then move east, to bring the Greeks into our territory. 504 AUC: Athenai has taken offence to our presence in Greece and has captured Apollonia, seemingly hoping to cut us off from invading further into their homeland. It will not work. Julius Agrippa, well rested after his group Triumph, will sail his legion across Mare Adriaticum to assist Legio V. In Gaul, a final battle on the banks of the Rhine marked the pacification of the region. Gaul is ours. The legions will rest, then move onto Germania. 505 AUC: Julius Agrippa, keen to retake Apollonia, failed to scout the surrounding lands before moving onto the town, and was caught by an enormous Athenian army. Luckily, Legio V arrived in time. The largest battle in Rome’s history was fought on the outskirts of the town, and although we were victorious, thousands of Romans paid the price. Junius Brutus has made landfall with Legio II Equestris to assist the conquest of Greece. 506 AUC: Libo Imperator has ordered our legions out of Germania. Although we have subdued many of the tribes there, the longer we stay, the more nature takes its toll. We have now lost more men to the cold than to the enemy. A summer in Germania is only slightly warmer than a winter in Italia. Trade agreements with the bordering tribes, while being of little value to us, will ensure a secure border. The legions are to move to Dacia, and bring civilisation to the barbarians within. The Spartans, long past their glory, and not stupid enough to mistake the intent of our legions marching through their lands, have bent the knee before they even pointed a spear. We agreed, on the terms they would join our war against Athenai. 507 AUC: with Sparta capturing the city of Athens, and Legio II Equestris taking Pella, Greece has been conquered. To the north, Thrake and Dacia are now both ours. Rome now stretches from Oceanus to Pontus Euxinus. Over the last 30 years, Lucius Julius Libo Imperator has risen from Legatus to sole ruler of Imperium Romanum, and grown our empire to half the size of that of Alexander’s. With little to conquer without sailing to Asia, he has elected to end his conquests and focus on administering the empire he has grown. Roma Invicta.
Turn: 134 Factions destroyed: 39 Total income: 9.5M Total battles fought: 228 Fought personally: 113 Land battles: 82 Settlement battles: 78 Siege battles: 39 Total victories: 215 Total defeats: 13 (all were undefended regions with no garrison) Heroic victories 49

And, I saw the Church, Scattered across seven mountains, as sheep that have no shepherd. They have no master. The mountains were wet with rain, and they clung to the rocks because they had no shelter. The devil's fire consumed the forest, and set the mountains ablaze. Mountains fall into the sea, and become a sanctuary of sin. The waters you drink, are poison to the soul. Their seed is of the serpent, the cause of all suffering and shame. When they said there was peace and safety, sudden destruction came, and they will not escape the wrath to come. Their slain shall also be cast out, and their stink shall come up out of their carcasses, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood. For, He has made a new threshing instrument having teeth, beating them, making the hills as chaff. Your iniquities have blasphemed God's name upon the hills, therefore, I will measure you and your works. They have become lost, because their pastors have led them astray. They have turned them away on the mountains, they have gone from mountain to hill, they have forgotten their way. Their persecutors are swifter, and they pursue them, and lay wait in the wilderness. The shepherds slumber, and the people are scattered upon the mountains, and no one gathers them. Come out of her, bride of Jesus! Depart from the peak of Amana, from the peak of Senir and Hermon, from the dens of lions, and from the mountains of leopards! Your inheritance is the Mountain of the Lord, where the nations shall flow into it. The Lord's anger is kindled against her, and her corpse will be refuse in the street. The sound of a great multitude, an uproar of kingdoms and nations gathering together. The nations roar and flee away at His rebuke, chased like chaff before the wind, and whirling dust before the storm. All you inhabitants of the world, When the signal is raised on the mountain, look! When the trumpet is blown, hear! The Lord waits like a cloud of dew in the heat of harvest. When the blossom is gone, and the flower becomes a ripening grape, He will cut off the shoots with pruning knives, and cut and take away the spreading branches. They will all be left, to the birds of prey of the mountains, and the beasts of the winter. Their slain shall stench the mountains of the world. And, again, the Lord shall plant vineyards in the mountains of Samaria, and come like Tabor, and Carmel by the sea. The Lord said to me, "Son of man, set your face towards the mountains of the world, and prophesy against them!" The Lord will bring His sword upon you, and destroy your high places. He will cut down the son of the morning, by the sword of His truth. The boasts of the devil's son will be his doom. With hooks, the Lord will cage him, and his voice will be heard no more, on the mountains of the world. And, I saw a lion standing over a mountain, he was wearing a golden robe and crown. He pointed to the sky, and showed me a diamond cut in half. Both parts divided, but united. What was once the way, is now a bird of prey. This calls for wisdom. A kingdom's rise and demise, finds time under the wings of an eagle. It has been revived, and is now a thorn in my side. Could I be a simple man, and understand God's word as it is? God is not a God of confusion. He is a God of straightforwardness. Take every word as true. And, the lion said to me, "Look around you, see what's in front of you, and behind you. For, the Maker has made it plain to see. What is next to you, is beside me. What comes from beneath, is of the sea. Find the answer, and you'll be free." And, I saw the moon turned to a fire red, It spoke and said to me, "I will reveal myself the year our Lord began His ministry, just two days ago. For, a thousand years is a day, and a day is a thousand years." Man put his hands to the flinty rock, and overturns the mountains by the roots. He makes them his pasture, and he plunders every green thing. For, they yield to him indefensibly, where all the wild beasts play. Then, the earth reeled and rocked, the foundations trembled and quaked, because God was angry. His judgements are like the great deep, Do not fear if the earth gives way, or the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, by the One who by His strength, established them and causes them to fall. You, God, appoint them to their place, You water them from above, and the earth is satisfied with your work. For, the Lord of hosts will have His day, of tumult and trampling and confusion in the valley of vision, a battering of walls. He will lay waste to the mountains and hills, and dry up all their vegetation, He will turn the rivers into islands, and dry up pools, shepherds feeding themselves, waterless clouds swept along by winds, fruitless trees in autumn, twice dead, and uprooted. Truly the hills are a delusion, the orgies on the mountains, and not a joyful shout is heard. And, if anyone escapes, they will be like doves in the valleys, all of them moaning, each one over his iniquity. There are men in you, who slander to shed blood in the Name of the Lord, and the people in you, who eat on the mountains, they commit lewdness in your midst, and wander on every high hill. The Lord will fill the mountains with her slain, and make the lands a desolation and a waste, so that none will pass through, and her pride will come to an end. He will bring those with the deepest of faith, out from the peoples, and gather them from the countries, and bring them home to Zion. The vessels are skin deep, it is what's inside, that dictates the deepest of faith. And, the Lord said to me, "Call out to the people over the hills and mountains, that they have transgressed my name long enough." This is the wisdom of the Lord. The kings are shepherds of the hills and mountain tops, the high places. Their flock is lost. Then, I saw a shepherd dressed like a king, he pointed to me and said, "Gold and silver is their way, for they cannot say 'I love you' without their pay. Their fortune lies by the wayside. Their incense does not smell sweet, and their idols are made for devils. God desires steadfast love, not rituals of wonder, offerings of penance and shame. But, like Israel, they have transgressed the covenant of life, there they dealt faithlessly with the Lord, and chose the covenant of death." You should ask, How shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the God on high? Shall I come before Him, with offerings of malcontent? Will the Lord be pleased with your works, and ten thousand more added to it? Shall I give over my own for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? God has told you before, O' Church, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you? He requires justice, loving kindness, and to walk humbly with your God, and those you love, which is all people, all kindreds and tongues. There are no exceptions. But, I have heard your reviling against the mountains and hills, and the Lord God has given you over to them, to devour you and lay desolate, your valleys and ravines. Therefore, hear the word of the Lord God, who speaks to the mountains and hills, the ravines and valleys, the desolate wastes and the deserted cities, which have become prey and derision, for the nations of the world. Behold, God has spoken in His jealous wrath, because you have reproached the nations, with shame and suffering. Instead of changing your thoughts to God's, you chose to live as the world tells you. Jealousy and quarreling, debates over non-essentials, and follow this one, that one, or the other. You've built your foundation on the finest gold, hills of silver, valleys of costly stones, ravines of the finest wood, silken hay, and straw soft as wool. The Day has come, and your works are being brought to light. It will be revealed in the Refiner’s fire, and the fire will purge the impurities, from the carcasses of your harlotry with Mammon. Your faith and your works are dead, and only those with the deepest of faith, and a loving heart, will be saved, escaping the flames of God's wrath. What did Jesus say, about how others would know, we are followers of Him? How we love one another. This is wisdom. If you cannot enact the law without love, You are not authorized to enact the law.

Let's say that after the ending of Prototype 1 and almost at the ending of Infamous 2 Alex went to New Marais to conquer it
The battle is 1v1 so alex can't create enemies using the virus
Alex Mercer powers: Sentient Biomass Physiology: Upon being infected by the Blacklight Virus, Alex Mercer’s body was converted into living biomass. His body is now stronger than it has ever been before, lacking many of the weaknesses that comes with a normal body such as internal organs, the issue of stamina and much more, while at the same time gaining a vast array of abilities that comes with his new physiology, such as shapeshifting and enhanced stats. Near Limitless Potential: Mercer is pretty interesting, even among other fictional characters, and even those within the video game media, being one of the few characters showcased to have near limitless potential due to how his powers work. When the blacklight virus first infected Mercer, and later reforming it. Mercer was shown to be many times stronger than normal, this isn’t where his limits are however. Upon consuming other biological entities, Mercer is capable of converting them into biomass which is then added to his own, increasing his stats, such as strength and durability, with each body that he consumes. So long as there is enough biological materials for him to consume, Mercer’s physical potential is almost limitless. Similarly, due to his ability to assimilate the memories of those he consumes. There is no real limit to Mercer’s own intelligence, so long as there are living beings for him to consume, lastly due to the blacklight virus within Mercer’s body constantly evolving. There is a chance for Mercer to develop various new abilities simply due to a random mutation at some point down the line. Evolutionary Adaptability: Due to the Blacklight Virus’s ability to constantly evolve based on the situation and the information presented in consumed biomass. Mercer is capable of adapting to nearly any situation, forming Claws, and other such weapons from his body in order to better combat his foes. Developing resistances to things such as elemental damage like fire and electricity, and even developing a degree of immunity. In one case after being in a situation where Mercer was under 10gs of gravitation force. Mercer’s body quickly adapted by increasing his strength levels, allowing him to walk out of that situation as if he was never under that level of extreme pressure. Potentially Limitless Superhuman Strength: Mercer’s is shown having vast levels of superhuman strength, being strong enough to lift and toss heavy objects such as cars, helicopters, and buses, to objects as heavy as tanks several tens to hundreds of feet awaym and even being able to run with these objects without his speed being impaired. Mercer’s strength is on such a level that he could overpower other superhumanly strong characters such as the infected hunters, Elizabeth Greene, the Supreme Hunter, and even James Heller at times, despite their superhuman durability being at a level where even missiles and tank fire can’t hurt them. In the first Prototype game. Mercer demonstrates an insane level of strength, being able to create a concussive shockwave just by thrusting his fists forward, uplifting cars, tanks and throwing people several tens of feet with enough force to kill them if not outright vaporize them. Mercer’s strength can continuously increase as he consumes more and more biomass, even mutating and becoming stronger when consuming other infected individuals, and whatever potential mutations their variant of the Blacklight virus may have. Making his potential for strength virtually limitless so long as there is enough organic material for him to consume. Superhuman Leaping Ability: Mercer’s strength is shown to extend to his legs. Allowing him to jump several hundred feet into the air, allowing him to clear barricades, get on top of buildings, and even leap high enough into the air to catch helicopters. Due to his increased mass. Mercer is capable of producing shockwaves when landing after leaping from large heights. Superhuman Speed: Mercers speed is far above that of a normal human, being able to run far faster than the average car, making them appear as if they are standing still. He has been shown to out run helicopters chasing him at times, putting his speed around 200 to 500mph. He has even kept up and outpace other infected entities such as the Leader Hunters, the Supreme Hunter and even James Heller to a degree. Superhuman Agility: Due to Mercer’s enhanced physiology. He is capable of moving around far better than the average person. He can leap tall distances, perform various kinds of flips with the greatest of ease. This, combined with his constantly evolving parkour skills, allows him the ability to escape and move around the tightest of spaces without so much as losing his balance. He is capable of twisting his body in midair in order to quickly recover from being knocked back and landing on his feet in a battle ready stance. Superhuman Reflexes: Mercer, upon his mutation into the Prototype, had his reflexes enhanced to superhuman levels. He can dodge gunfire, and other projectile base weaponry at point blank range, keep up and overpowered various evolved infected creatures such as the Hunter, and Supreme Hunter, and even combat and overwhelm the military’s super soldiers with ease. Potentially limitless Superhuman Durability: Mercer’s durability, much like his strength, is potentially limitless as he absorbs more and more biomass. His body is capable of compacting the excess within himself, making his flesh far denser than that of a normal human. Similarly he can alter the density of his biomass to even stronger levels. He has tanked gunfire from all angles, survived being shot with missiles and other explosives, tanked and survived hits from other infected individuals such as Heller and the Supreme Hunter. He has survived dismemberment, being inside clouds of the bloodtox chemical, and more, and still continues fighting. Superhuman Healing Factor: Mercer’s healing factor is on an insane level. Being able to heal from bullet and shrapnel wounds nearly instantaneously, He could regenerate from having large sections of his body torn out, regenerate lost limbs just as fast. So long as there is still a single bit of the biomass that makes up his body. Mercer will continue to regenerate back to full health. Even regenerating from a few pieces of tissue flesh after being caught at ground zero when a nuclear warhead exploded. Immortality: Due to Mercer’s body being made up of biomass. Mercer’s aging process has come to a halt. Due to his body constantly healing and replacing any damaged biomass. Mercer is in a sense, immortal. It was shown with Elizabeth Greene that after she got infected with the Redlight virus. Her physical body was shown to still look around the age of twenty. Having not changed even after nearly forty years passing since she was infected. Elemental resistance: Mercer is shown to be resistant to fire and electric attacks. However, being exposed to either high enough heat or voltage can still cause him harm. Superhuman Senses: Mercer’s sense after his mutation is shown to have evolved to far higher levels than that of the normal human. He can hear far better than the normal human and his eye-sight has evolved in a way to allow Mercer to see through several different types of visual ranges. Infrared Vision: One of two known vision powers that Mercer is shown to have. By using infrared vision, Mercer is capable of seeing the heat signatures radiating from various living beings. By using this vision power. Mercer is capable of seeing in environments and conditions that would normally limit or blind a normal person’s eyesight such as total darkness or thick smoke and fog by tracking the heat signatures of living beings within the surrounding areas. It should be noted that Mercer is capable of using infrared vision despite the fact that those infected tend to generate enough body heat to blind other infrared vision devices. Showing that there are some differences between Mercer’s infrared vision and other devices capable of allowing users to see in infrared. Infected Vision: After connecting to the hive mind created by the blacklight virus. Mercer gained the ability to see and recognize individuals infected with the Blacklight virus. Superhuman Intelligence: Upon consuming the biomass of an intelligence entity. Mercer’s own intelligence is shown to increase dramatically as he will know what the person he consumes knows. Given the numerous individuals that he had consumed over the course of the Prototype series. Mercer’s intelligence is at superhuman levels. Making him one of the smartest if not the smartest person within the Prototype universe… at least until James Heller had consumed him. Superhuman Mental Processing: Due to Mercer’s physiology. Mercer’s mental capacity and processing is at a superhuman level. He is shown being able to understand and process massive amounts of information that he gains from consuming his targets. Similarly during the events of Prototype 2, Mercer was capable of controlling and directing various individuals infected with the blacklight virus through the hive mind. Matter Manipulation: While not really shown all that much. Mercer has the ability to alter the environment using the Blacklight virus as a catalyst. Through this ability. Mercer is capable of deteriorating concrete. Converting and absorbing the biomass of living objects such as living creatures and trees. Strengthening and converting even inorganic structures such as buildings into hives to fit his needs. Even converting inorganic material into layers of biomass over large areas which can be used to slow down his enemies, while not hindering his own forces or himself. He gains this ability after consuming Elizabeth Greene. It should be noted that even though Mercer is capable of altering the surroundings around him. His version of this power is very limited when compared to others such as Edward Elric from FullMetal Alchemist or Silver Surfer from Marvel Comics. As while he can make and convert things into organic matter. He can’t make inorganic matter like breathable air, or metal. Biokinesis: Due to Mercer’s ability to produce the Blacklight Virus within himself. Mercer is capable of controlling and altering the biomass both within his body and that of others infected to various effects. Being able to increase his physical stats to create various weapons abilities with his biomass. Similarly, due to his ability to constantly make new strains of the virus itself. Mercer is capable of infecting others with this virus. Allowing him to alter and control infected individuals by granting them a similar power set to his own or even morphing and transforming these individuals into monsters of various sizes and powers. Disease Manipulation (Blacklight Virus): Due to being infected and bonding with the Blacklight virus to the extent of becoming an entity called a Prototype. Mercer’s body is capable of constantly producing the blacklight virus. Even creating various strains of side viruses which can grant or evolve various abilities that he may not have had before. Similarly due to this virus production and the various strains he can make in his body. Mercer is capable of infecting others with a variation of the virus. Either turning others into infected drones which he can control or granting the infected individual a similar subset of powers as his own. Viral Gas Generation: Caught on a CCTV camera. Mercer is shown having the ability to generate and expel a cloud of gas from his body containing the Blacklight Virus into the surrounding area. Rapidly infecting and mutating those located on ground zero, caught within the cloud. Biomass Conversion: Mercer has the ability to nearly instantaneously consume and convert any organic organism into biomass which is then added to his body. Through this process. Mercer is capable of enhancing his overall physical stats and quickly recovering from any damage that he may have suffered during battle as well as gaining the memories and skills that the consumed individual may have had. Critical Mass: Upon consuming enough biomass. Mercer is capable of entering a critical mass state. Due to this extra mass, Mercer’s durability increases, allowing him to tank more damage. Similarly, due to having more biomass at his command. Mercer is capable of using his strongest attacks, called Devastators, moves capable of clearing and killing anyone and everyone within a certain range of Mercer. Upon gaining critical mass. Mercer’s body gains a defense mechanism in which upon taking enough damage. This extra mass would harden to an extreme degree. Making Mercer almost completely invulnerable to most forms of physical damage for a short time in order to allow him to either escape a battle or try and consume another organic organism in order to recover from the near fatal damage. Memory Assimilation: Upon consuming an individual. Mercer gains access to all the memories and skills that that individual may have had. Allowing Mercer to suddenly master various new skills such as weaponry, vehicle usage, and even military tactics and plans. Shapeshifting: Due to Mercer not having a stable form like most other organic organisms. Mercer is capable of shaping the biomass within him into virtually anything he can imagine. He can shape his arms into various weapons such as blades and whips. He can change his form to match the form of anyone he consumed no matter their gender. Even morphing the biomass within his body to form mundane items such as clothes. Mercer's shapeshifting abilities are only limited by his imagination and the amount of biomass he contains. Voice Mimicry: Due to both of Mercer’s abilities to shapeshift and assimilating the memories of those he consumes. Mercer is capable of altering his vocal cords to match the voices of the people that he has consumed. Allowing Mercer to move around in areas with more heavier security. Mercer has even been shown being capable of using this power in battles. Taking the forms of high rank officials to trick various Military forces into fighting themselves. Similarly, depending on who Mercer is fighting at the time. If Mercer is aware of himself having consumed someone close to his opponent. Mercer can alter his voice in order to mess with his opponent’s mind. Getting them to drop their guard enough for him to score a kill, or at the very least, land more easier hits on them. Shield: Mercer due to his shapeshifting ability, much like most of his other powers, is capable of manipulating his biomass to form various weapons and armaments. One of these powers is the ability to form a shield on either one of his arms. Taking some of his accumulated biomass and forming it into the shape of a kite shield. Mercer then hardens this shield shaped biomass to the utmost degree. Allowing him to block all incoming damage from the direction he faces his shield at. However, it should be noted that the shield’s durability is limited as enough damage can shatter the shield. Unlike his successor, James Heller. Mercer, when using his shield power, prefers having a mobile approach to his defense as opposed to being a solid unbreakable wall like Heller’s own ability. As such, Mercer is capable of moving around instead of being rooted in place, Similarly due to this approach. Mercer is capable of using this power with his other abilities. Adopting a similar fighting style to that of a knight of old, with a shield in one hand, and a weapon in the other. Armor: When faced with a situation where Mercer is either taking damage from all directions or facing a foe that rivals him in strength and power. Mercer is capable of hardening the outer layer biomass that makes up his appearance into an armor like texture. Giving his entire body a shiny black texture that blocks most damage and reduces all incoming damage to a large degree. This increase in durability allowed mercer to take on foes such as Captain Cross, the Supreme Hunter, and even tank multiple hits from high yielding artillery without suffering much damage from these encounters. Much like with his bio-shield ability. Mercer is capable of using his more offensive powers with this form. However, this form is not without its weaknesses, as upon entering this form. Mercer’s speed is greatly reduced. While still capable of moving at superhuman speeds. It's only about half of his normal speed. Similarly, while in this form. Mercer appears unable to use his bio-shield ability, however this may be due to this form providing potentially better defense and allowing him more mobility in combat. Claws: One of the first offensive powers that Mercer gains during the events of the first Prototype game. Mercer gained the ability to form massive, knife-like talons on his hand by consuming a hunter-type infected. These talons are sharp enough to cut through flesh and bones. Even being able to cut and destroy heavily armored vehicles such as tanks. When combining his Claws with his speed. Mercer can tear through hordes of basic enemies with ease, even developing this ability further into the ground spikes ability and the Devastator; Groundspike Graveyard Attack. Groundspikes: When using his claws as his main weapon. Mercer is capable of compressing his biomass into his clawed hands before slamming them into the ground. Upon doing this, Mercer expands the compressed biomass in his hands outwards towards the direction he wants. After either reaching their target or hitting a certain distance. The expanded biomass will erupt as sharp spires from the ground, impaling and cutting apart anyone and anything caught within eruption radius. GroundSpike Graveyard Devastator: An enhanced version of the groundspike technique. Upon entering critical mass. Mercer is capable of moving the extra biomass to his hands after a bit of a charge up time. Afterwards, Mercer will then slam both his hands into the ground. Sending the biomass out in all directions which would then track down any target within a certain radius before erupting out of the ground. This move is strong enough to bring down infected hives which were capable of withstanding the force of tank and missile fire. Hammerfists: When in need of some more brute physical force and attack power. Mercer is shown being able to move the biomass within his body to his arm. Covering them in the same fibers that make up his shield and armor form while at the same time enlarging them to the size of large warhammers, like those seen in games. With these new Hammerfists, Mercer is capable of dealing massive amounts of blunt force trauma to the point of even destroying a tank with a few hits. He is capable of doing this by pressing more and more biomass into his fist before compressing them. Increasing their density and weight in the process. However, doing so does cost him some attack speed, as he is shown having some trouble at times lifting and swinging his massive hands around. The attack power of these fist are shown to be on a level capable of inflicting massive damage to entities such as the Supreme Hunter, and even James Heller. He has even shown the ability to produce shockwaves and quaking the ground with a few hits, allowing him to stun foes with the aftershocks even when Mercer’s fist doesn't make contact with his intended target. Whipfist: Mercer’s main range attack. By moving his biomass to either of his arms. Mercer can morph his arm of choice into what could be called a grappling gun. By changing the normally rigid properties of his arm to be more elastic when compared to some of his other powers. Mercer can throw his arm forward, shooting out his clawed appendage at a target, allowing him to reel it back to him or him towards it. He tends to use this when dealing with airborne enemies or when he needs to reach a farther distance than normal distance that his jumping ability may not be able to cover. Similarly due to the whipfist’s elastic properties. It is a good power to use when dealing with mobs as it can swing his arm, extending it a certain distance and with his superhuman strength to cut nearly anything in his path in half. Tendrils: Mercer is capable of forming and using tendrils. While not really shown in the first Prototype game. Mercer does use them in dealing with foes, even creating two different devastator attacks with them. In the tied-in comics, Mercer is shown using the tendrils ability to impale and kill various individuals. In one case, killing Autumn with this ability after being shot in the head. Tendrils Barrage Devastator: Upon entering critical mass. Mercer is capable of condensing the biomass in his body, creating large amounts of pressure within himself before releasing it, causing an unknown amount of tendrils to burst from his body in all directions as well as impaling and dragging any organic being towards him. Anything impaled and killed by this attack is then absorbed by Mercer, healing and strengthening him. Bio-Bombs: While Mercer isn’t shown using this ability as it was one of the main attacks of James heller. As the ability came from one of Mercer’s Evolved soldiers, carrying a strain of the blacklight virus produced by Mercer. Mercer likely has access to this ability. The ability itself allows Mercer to implant a bit of his biomass into a target, before either allowing them to run off or simply throwing the individual at a group or target. The person in question will then explode in a mass of tendrils in all directions. Impaling, grabbing, and dragging all targets caught into a center mass. Crushing and killing anything caught in the center mass. Blade: Mercer is capable of shaping and forming the biomass in his arms to form a massive blade, capable of splitting humans in half, and piercing the armor of military vehicles such as tanks, and the thick skin of hunters and other infected entities. The Blade is Mercer’s strongest attack ability outside of his Devastator attacks. Not as fast as the claws nor as strong as his hammerfist. Mercer’s Blade ability doesn’t suffer from the weaknesses of either power, acting as a middle ground, allowing him a far greater dps, or damage per second when confronting enemies. Mercer’s version of the bio-blade is shown being stronger than that of Heller’s, being capable of dealing with crowds and more heavily defended enemies far easier than Heller’s version of the power. Density Alteration: Mercer, due to his shapeshifting abilities, is capable of altering the density of his body, allowing him to increase the damage potential of his strikes as well as altering the way gravity affects his body. In terms of offensive capabilities. Mercer has been shown being able to do sudden changes while in mid air and increase his density to the point of creating shockwaves and cratering the ground he lands on with enough height. Muscle Mass Increase: Mercer is capable of increasing his muscle mass in his arms and body, increasing his strength beyond his normal levels without suffering any loss in movement like many of his other defensive and offensive powers. Gliding: Mercer, by lowering his density while in the air, is capable of achieving a limited degree of flight by gliding through the air. He is capable of switching his body’s density on the fly to either slow his descent or rapidly falling. Similarly, it is due to this ability that Mercer is capable of clearing large distances as he can simply leap and glide over most obstacles in his way in order to escape his pursuers, or reach various locations far more quickly then simply running and parkouring his way there through the streets.. Air Dash: Mercer is shown being able to move the biomass around his body at such a rate that it is capable of slingshotting him in any particular direction that he wants. Mercer generally uses this ability to cover more distance, extend his gliding abilities and even dodge projectiles and other attacks in mid-air. Wall Running: While strong enough to climb walls using his hands, Mercer is capable of wall running at high speeds as his body will alter his feet in a way that allows him to cling to walls while running without the risk of slipping off due to lack of momentum or adhesion. As such Mercer can run at high speeds in any direction when on vertical surfaces Knuckle Shockwave: Using his strength, Mercer is capable of producing a massive shockwave by a double palm thrust. This attack is capable of cars and people down an entire street. Even potentially tearing apart the latter. Critical Pain Devastator: An enhanced version of the knuckle shockwave. Upon entering critical mass, Mercer can move the biomass in his body into his hands. Upon doing a palm thrust. Mercer creates a massive shockwave that uplifts and tears apart humans and vehicles alike. Adding insult to injury, Mercer, during the process of performing this attack, will also fire the biomass stored in his hands as tendrils into the shockwave, shredding and crushing anything unlucky enough to survive the initial shockwave itself
Cole Macgrath powers:Electrokinesis-The ability to absorb and control electricity in and out of his body. Over the last seven years,Cole has gotten much more powerful than in inFAMOUS 2. Able to deliver up to 15 supernovas of force. His maximum voltage is over 20 Gigawatts and the heat of his lightning burns up to 300,000,000,000 Kelvin,equivalent to three supernovas. -Immunity to electricity-Cannot be harmed by electrical energy. Any electricity that makes contact with his body is automatically absorbed. Electromagnetism-The ability to produce and manipulate electromagnetic fields and pulses. Cole can manipulate any object,no matter the size,using magnetism. Even non-metallic materials such as stone,ice,wood,and cardboard. Cryokinesis-The ability to manipulate ice and cold gas. Cole can deliver several cryokinetic attacks such as razor-sharp,steel-tearing Shatter Blasts,Ice Grenades,Freeze Rockets,Ice Pillars and Platforms for jumping great distances,Ice Barriers that can block missiles and knock up enemies. He can also produce freezing mist that freezes enemies in it solid if he hits it with a bolt. Superhuman Strength-Cole possesses superhuman strength. Able to easily lift up to 52 metric tons. His punches are on a Class PJ and he can regularly bench press giant monsters as heavy as tanks. Has even fought on par with Ares, the God of Warfare. Superhuman Speed-Cole is able to move at superhuman speeds. He can run up to 60MPH and during combat, he can move at Hypersonic speeds. He can react and fight at Massively Hypersonic+ speeds(Mach 1000-8810), able to easily dodge lasers and instant speed attacks and react to his own, natural lightning. Superhuman Durability-Cole is extremely durable. He can survive an attack that can level an entire island, ignores bullets, and shrugs off point-blank RPG's and grenades. Regenerative Healing Factor-Cole can heal extensive damage to his body in seconds. He can even regenerate lost limbs. If he absorbs energy, he heals instantly. Tactics/Leadership/Intelligence-Cole possesses increased intelligence. He regularly works out strategies during intense combat, he daily leads a team of superheroes into battle, he's able to logically deduce the outcome of any action he might take, and outsmarts incredibly clever opponents like Sasha, Alden, and Ray Zenji. Combat Experience-Cole is an incredibly experienced fighter. He was already he strongest Conduit alive, and now is even more so after training his powers in secret for 7 years. He has fought a multitude of foes stronger and more experienced than himself and won. And has survived impossible odds and has always come out on top. Even death. Electrokinetic Flight-Over the years, Cole has learned the ability to create a platform of electricity and surf on it through the air, granting him the ability to fly. Electrokinetic Constructs-Cole can create shapes of electrical energy and use electromagnetism to give it solid form. This can create several Electrokinetic weapons such as the Gigawatt Blades. Electroreception-Cole can pick up and read electronic frequencies and listen in on communications, he can also use this to read data as well. Electric Healing- Cole is able to release a massive charge of bioelectricity that heals everyone around him via hyper stimulating cells into a rapid state of regeneration. Precognition-Cole has the ability to see a few seconds into the future or see a whole future event. Mind Techniques-Cole can use neuroelectricity to manipulate people's minds. He can use this in a variety of ways such as mind-control, instant brainwashing, reading thoughts, and countering mental attacks. Lightning Dash/Dematerialization-Cole can turn his entire body into electricity and dash across short distances, he can use this to move at Massively Hypersonic+ speeds and travel through electrical power lines. Omnipresent Awareness-Cole can surround himself with an electromagnetic field that can give him omnipresent detection of his surroundings. Added by the fact that he can sense electrical energy in one's body, this makes him almost impossible to sneak up on. He can also use a Radar Sense that detects hostile intent, distinguishes friend from foe, sees through disguises, invisibility, and illusions, and scans for any electrical signals, anomalies, and sources.

So I've been thinking for a while if I should document some of the history I had with my ex who I was with for almost 10 years. Partially to shed a light on warning signs that I was too naive to notice and also to ask advice on how others got over their experiences and deal with any problems in new relationships that bring back those feelings.
For record I did go to my GP who referred me to counseling sessions. Unfortunately those were only 12 free sessions on the NHS and the therapist I was assigned just kept referring me books to read and "homework" such as saying out loud 3 things I'm happy about in my life before bed... Often she just talked about the lack of funding from the government and such.
So I finally left my ex in 2016 ish, I was on antidepressants, occasionally beta blockers for the panic attacks and birth control, all of which made my mood go up and down like a rollercoaster. I was absolutely miserable and one day it just kind of hit me that I have to leave, it's me or this forever?
We started dating when I was 20/21 and he was 5 years older than me. We met because of an online game and he worked with my older brother. My brother gave me his in game character name incase I needed help. I started chatting to him in the game and he came to see my character, he showed me around and it started like that. I was going away for a weekend to a youth group camping event and he joked wasn't I going to ask for his number to keep talking and so I did. During the weekend I met someone my age at some of the events and had a lot of fun with, we had similar jokes and I thought he was really attractive. We added eachothers emails to keep in touch and so I texted the game friend to say I was sorry but I met a really nice person I was interested in. He instantly replied some comments about how it was just a crush, did I even know if they liked me back. Was I just going to throw away what we had for a guy I met over 3 days. I thought about it and I felt so guilty. I decided to stick with him and have minimal contact with the other via email. Years later when Facebook became a thing he did add me there and I accepted thinking nothing of it. We still didn't message or anything. One year he wrote "Happy Birthday Hope you are well!" To which my guy wrote a very rude/sarcastic response something like "she's great I'll tell her you said hi", so he deleted his post didn't message again.
When I got back from camp we arranged to meet up in person for the first time ever and we went for food/coffee the usual. I will mention that I was pre warned by my brother and wasn't really supposed to be talking to this guy outside of the game, so for the first few months of our dating we kept it hidden until I was found out resulting at an angry brother waiting at the train station for me and telling off my guy in public saying he should know better and was told to stay away from me.
I told my mum about it later that day and honestly she didn't really care, and said it's normal for my age, and so we began to date properly not hidden. This guy was my first proper boyfriend and my first everything really.
In the beginning it was fine, we had good times. I did have to deal with his ex who was trying to become my best friend and go out shopping/partying with which I thought was too strange so obviously never did. I then found out she was calling him in the middle of the night crying asking him to take her back. So he ended up telling me that they used to be Engaged and how she cheated on him and so he broke everything off. Now the first red flag, he told me for his revenge everytime she would start dating a new guy he would get in contact with her, ask how she is, act really caring and charming. He would convince her to come over and then sleep with her so that she would feel so guilty she would tell/end her relationship. She thought they would get back together but instead he laughed in her face and tell her to get lost. Apparently this happened multiple times before we met.
Over time I came to realise because of this he could be very jealous, paranoid and had a bad temper, he would throw and smash plates, punch walls. Second red flag he "accidentally" locked me in his house while he went to work one day. I didn't really have anything to do or eat. In the past he did joke with me that if it was allowed he would lock me in his house and never let me leave. I never was sure if this was some sort of joke or a genuine accident.
His ex lived in the countryside and enjoyed the thrill of outdoor sex because no one was really around. Because of that he also enjoyed it. And so when we started getting a bit more serious he would force that on me. Once he met me early in the morning before I had work, it was a nice walk but then he got very handsy. It was ok as we were behind a lot of trees, but then he brought me to a bench and got me to sit on his lap with his hands down my trousers/pants, all while people were passing by. I kept my eyes closed the entire time and thought for sure someone would tell us off. A few times he would touch me on busy trains/buses, we went to an abandoned warehouse and a house. Sometimes there were kids hanging around spray painting or breaking things. In the house he told me to give him a blow job, I tried to laugh it off and say no thinking he must be joking. Instantly this made him angry, he didn't talk to me for a few minutes and then started to tell me things like "a good girlfriend would do this for her boyfriend" and so I ended up absolutely sobbing but doing what he wanted. A different time in the warehouse he wanted to do anal, and again I said I didn't want to, and again the guilt tripping and saying he would be really quick and no one would see, and feeling guilted I gave in. He finished inside and we left. I didn't realise till I had a shower later that day that because of being outside and not having access to lube I was very tender and sore in the area. This basically went on, and sometimes I would lie and say that I really needed to pee just to get out of having sex in public. Even at home he would often pressure me to doing things I didn't like, I have a bad gag reflex so honestly didn't enjoy going down on him, plus often I didn't like his smell or taste. If I asked him to wash it he got very angry at me and would say how it loses sensitivity and doesn't feel as good. Over time he withdrew going down on me because I wasn't "being a good girlfriend" and honestly I didn't mind.
Around 4 years or so into the relationship I made a new friend in work and she invited us to her birthday in a room booked in a night club. It was supposed to be couples and masquerade themed. My guy didn't want to go with me because it seemed boring and he had no interest in meeting my friends. He went out of his way to arrange our gay friend to go with me so I wouldn't be alone and would have a guy with me. On the night of the party the friend came over while I was getting ready and we had some drinks, my ex then changed his mind and decided to come. This wouldn't be a problem but he also said it was ok that his scummy brother comes along (that's another story) he had promised me that the brother wouldn't be in the booked room and he would stay downstairs in the main club with him. But in they came. I was annoyed because his brother was being really inappropriate with my friend, saying he would take her in the bathroom and show her a good time. He was taking photo's up girls dresses/skirts and asking for girls numbers everywhere (he had a gf and I was also warned by my ex not to be alone with him) my guy ended up not speaking to me for the night because I was annoyed that he wouldn't remove him. When we got back to his house he wouldn't let me go home and told me to shut up and go to bed. I sat on the bed sobbing that I just wanted to go home and he laughed and laughed in my face pointing at me. When I tried to leave he lifted me by my coat, breaking the buttons and my necklace and threw me against the wall. In anger I lifted a photo frame of us and smashed him over the head, in retaliation he punched the wardrobe right beside my head and broke his little finger, I ran out of the apartment. I sat on the curb outside crying because I didn't know how to get home. After maybe half an hour he came out and took me back inside. He told me to please go to sleep and just leave in the morning. After that event we broke up for maybe 5/6 months. I started to feel lonely and stupidly started talking to him again.
After this we moved in together. We rented a house where he was originally from but was much further for me. It resulted in me having to get a train and bus to work everyday or come home. His reasoning was there were no houses for rent where I lived. At this time I worked a pretty crap sales job, I made minimum wage and only worked 16 hours a week. So giving half of my money to him to cover rent/food etc and buying my train and bus ticket left me with £10 a week to my name. I was further away from my friends (who he didn't like me spending time with, they were bad influences) I had a male friend that I grew up with and I viewed him like a brother. He told me I had to cut contact with him as I wouldn't like it if the role was reversed (even though he had several close female friends) he spent his time trying to get me to be friends with his friends, and I didn't get them, they were all older and we had nothing in common. Once he asked one girl to spend the day with me shopping or just anything because I had no friend's. I was so embarrassed when he told me. The fact I couldn't go see my actual friends when I wanted and was alone already made me feel sensitive. It also didn't help that early in our relationship he told me he had only ever slept with his ex before me, I then found out he had actually slept with a few of these other female friends for various reasons. One had a fight with her bf and got into his bed wanting a hug and crying which apparently escalated. One apparently climbed ontop of him while he was sleeping when his house mate had a house party etc. One was single at the same time as he was and they thought why not see. That's what I was told anyway.
The town where he lived was dying and had very little going for it. Apart from the nice scenery walking my dog I had nothing to do. With this going on I began to fall into a slump. I worked, came home and slept. He began getting irritated if was sitting/sleeping on the sofa after work as his pc was in the living room and he said he felt like I was always watching him. I made the small room upstairs into my own little space with my computer to play games on and sometimes he would sneak really quietly into the room to try and see if/who I was talking to online. I ended up going to my GP to talk to someone and that turned to my first experience of antidepressants and beta blockers for my panic attacks. This cut down my sex drive immensely, and he would often argue that I "just lay there" or wouldn't do anything for him. I was applying for jobs with no luck. I went to speak to an advisor and they actually said "have you ever considered getting pregnant?" I ended up taking 2 weeks holiday in my job so I could adjust to the pills as I was feeling ill. I temporarily moved back home to learn to drive as maybe that would help me. I ended up getting a new job in a kitchen in the city centre, meaning I was getting my first full time job and would only have to get a train now. My ex told me to stop the driving lessons as I no longer needed them, and just move back as I had money now. And I did.
In my previous job all women worked in the store. In this new job it was a lot more mixed, I was the only female chef but I got a long with mostly everyone. I met my best friend here and we were in a small friend group of 4, our manager jokingly named us the breakfast club because we were all so different. My female best friend, our gay friend and a Romanian guy who was still learning English. We became really inseparable and would often plan day trips, cinema, dinner's and nights out. We had a group chat and constantly talked and sent memes. I felt happy having friends again. Over time my guy became extremely paranoid, he didn't want me working or spending time around other guys. He told me men are like hungry wolves and you can't trust them, and how he had worked in McDonald's when he was young and everyone slept with everyone etc. I finally had money and friends and he wanted me to quit. I loved the job and the people and often if anyone had to go home sick/hurt I always offered to stay to close. This also didn't help with the paranoia. It got to a point that I had to send him my new work schedule every week and had to have a "good reason" for doing overtime.
As time went on he started to accuse me of cheating on him. If I went out with my friends or even to visit my parents he would tell me (if you're fucking anyone tonight then don't bother coming home). This got more and more frequent and he began smoking and drinking a lot more. Often I would come home from work late at night and instantly be yelled at. There was another incident where he punched the wall again re breaking the finger, he couldn't play guitar anymore and said it was my fault. At this point he was roughly 31 in our relationship and began a friendship with a work colleague who was 18. I never met her once, and he would often go on nights out with her and her friends. The few times I woke up in the night and he wasn't home I rang him panicked thinking is he ok. He would answer "what?" When he came home that would be another argument that he's a grown ass man and can look after himself and I shouldn't be worried about his safety. This continued and some nights I began sleeping on the sofa because I couldn't stand the smell of the smoke and I was afraid to be yelled at while he was drunk. He came home once with every button on his shirt broken that I bought him for a birthday and said a guy did it for a joke and leave it at that. One night he blew up at me resulting in me having a panic attack and I actually felt like I would die. I couldn't breath and my face started to change colour. When he noticed he finally stopped yelling and started slapping my back and squeezing me. I sat on the floor and sobbed and said I was going back home. We didn't talk again properly for about a month, and then he sent a message saying he needed to talk/apologize. I went back to listen to what he had to say and somehow by the end he was saying he loved me and I need to come home. I didn't get a word in before it turned to him taking off my clothes to have "make up sex" and before I knew it I was back. We planned a holiday away for a week, to reconnect and try and have some dates again. It was mostly really great. We did have a minor argument because he was actively telling me how hot this very young looking Spanish girl was, and during one of the days he made me have sex by the glass doors leading out to the pool at our apartment. But when we returned home it was just as aweful. In our time together I learned he hated having his photo taken and put on social media. So I only took 3/4 photos, a few nice ones of him standing looking out at the beach etc. But that was suddenly an issue that I hadn't plastered his holiday pictures all over my Facebook etc. We went straight back to the old routine, being accused of cheating.
At this point we'd been together a long time. Constantly family members asking when we would marry and all my friends starting families. Maybe it was the fear of missing out but suddenly I wanted the same. I spoke to him about marriage and he was very clear it's something he doesn't ever want (you don't need a piece of paper with permission to be with someone) one night I got home from work and he had hand written and framed his own wedding certificate saying Mr and Mrs such and such and said "there you go!". The talk of a baby was also quickly shut down with the reason being "if you have a kid then you always have to be a part of that person's life if it doesn't work out".
At this point I don't even think it was entirely the antidepressants. I didn't even want to touch him. He made me uncomfortable, always walking on eggshells. He stank of cigarettes and beer. I constantly had to clean the house. Around his desk there would be piles of beer tins and used tissues... We were eating take out everyday apart from my 2 days off work. I started putting on weight and he was wanting more money towards rent and food etc. He was still going out with 18/19 year old girls to parties etc. This went on for another 5 months until one day it hit me that "this is it" and if I don't leave something bad will happen . My friend group at work generally noticed I wasn't ok. My best friend started to tell me that I'm being gas lit among other things. And that I needed out, and finally I was able to tell him it was over. We cried a lot and parted ways. It was hard because I had to go back to gather my stuff in multiple taxis or a van. Sometimes I needed his help as I had given the key back or items were heavy. On one occasion he asked how I was and then touched my belly saying I had lost a lot of weight...His eyes started watering and he went to the garden to smoke. About 20 minutes after this as I was gathering my stuff the younger work colleague came by (apparently they had plans to order pizza and watch a movie) this is also the first time I ever saw her and didn't even get a hello or anything, I guess it was an awkward first meeting.
He didn't tell his family I left him. Some months later his brother saw me at a club with my work friends and text him along the lines of he'd finally caught me cheating. He then told the family and his mother was apparently very disappointed. I doubt they know how everything went though. He did also message me to tell me this and asked me to tell him truthfully had I cheated/had I slept with any of the work guys since breaking up..
He moved to live in another country. Sold all of his items on gumtree etc, including some of mine. I had a large gas BBQ that my mum gifted for our house, when I asked for it back he tried to say I already had it, then said it must have been stolen.
He also messaged me a year afterwards trying to say he had made a huge mistake and would I be willing to move in and try again... Of course I said no. Again in 2020 ish he messaged saying he had a weird request. He wanted to become friends again as apparently no one knew him like I and he stupidly pushed me, his best friend away. He didn't want me to remain angry at how he treated me etc. Again I declined saying I don't know if that would ever be something I would feel comfortable with and also that I'm dating someone and that's not fair on him.
I haven't had any contact since then.
I'll never truly know but I honestly feel like he cheated on me because of how hellbent he was that I was doing so to him. The whole thing has left me with some bad trust issues. I don't want to be the paranoid girlfriend not allowing partners to go out or have female friends etc.
Apologies for the lengthy post and thank you to anyone who takes the time to read. I do feel like I've forgotten some things, or a bit too personal for here and I feel like this is so long already!

Character Application

Discord Username: ThePorgHub#7494
Character Name and House: Durran Toyne
Age: 63
Appearance: Durran is a tall, hard man, though age has greyed him. War has left him missing an eye, and with a limp in his leg; but he strikes no less an imposing figure
Gift: Commander.
Skills: Tactician (E), logistician, covert, zealot - faith of the seven.
Talent(s): Fishing x3
Starting Title(s): Lord of Blackheart
Starting Location: King's Landing
Family Tree: A mess
Alternate Characters: N/A

Biography

Born in 144AC as the first son of Lord Boremund Toyne, Durran has ever been a product of the lands that bore him. Barely a boy he was when the last dragon died, and an era ended - and then barely a man he was when the dragons clashed and his beloved homeland spiralled into war on the defence.
Growing up in the shadow of his father, Lord Boremund, Durran observed that his sire was a man of charisma - a talented diplomat and a jovial man who could win many an argument by simply winning the other party into friendship. He could inspire, but he couldn't lead. No better was this demonstrated than during the Third Dance of the Dragons, when a knife was plunged deep into the lands of Storm from the Boneway. Lord Boremund rallied men well, but led them poorly; an error that cost him his life, and cost Durran his eye - only escaping with his life through sheer luck of being unconscious.
That, he could not abide. Thus, he resolved to be what his father could not. He rallied what remained of his house and assisted in defending what was left. His determination absolute, and his resolve would not allow for compromise. An attitude that followed him well from the battlefield to the statecraft of Blackheart. With the birth of his children, he raised them much as a soldier might more than a father. Each would earn and fight for what was theres, which inevitably created rivalries where loyalty might've existed; but that is how Durran would have it. The purist mark of a man, of a Lord, was conflict; anything else produced a complacency he could not stand.
It bore fruit, however, for when King Aemond began the Red War, Lord Durran and the House of Toyne were ready. The banners of the black heart of Toyne were amongst those who pushed into the Boneway, and Lord Durran led his men well. It was not without fault, however, for his son - Ser Baldric - was wounded rather badly, and Lord Durran himself suffered a wound to the leg that left him ever with a limp. But, regardless, the men of House Toyne served their part well.
Ser Baldric would suffer complications from the wounds he received for years after the fact, which Durran saw as some divine judgement for his actions in siring a bastard. Though, when his son finally died in 204 AC, Durran still could not shake the sadness of it - a son dying before a father was never easy to stomach; even when relations were soured.
Now, he resides over the House with a fist of iron. His children and grandchildren are varied, and he is well aware of the factionalism growing amongst them; but he keeps them in line. Perhaps the conflict will make them better men. Even still, a blackness clutches at his heart; a darkness he cannot quite understand nor describe.

Family Tree

A mess

Auxiliary Character

Character Name and House: Ravella Toyne
Age: 20
Appearance: Not just a mummer, but the entire farce
Gift: Diplomat
Skills: daggers, courtly(e)
Talent(s): Singing x2, lute.
Starting Title(s): Scion of Blackheart
Starting Location: King's Landing

Biography

Ravella Toyne was born as daughter of Ser Baldric Toyne in the year 187 AC.
Born with fiery red hair, the same fire had filled her spirit from a young age. Ravella had always been a charismatic, theatric girl; one who was always performing, dancing and talking her way out of any situation she ended up in - of which there were many around the kitchens of Blackheart.
Her self confidence and creativity followed her through her teen years and into adulthood. Wherever Ravella steps, music follows, and wherever music stands, Ravella is never far away. The lute is her favoured instrument, and one of her more favoured possessions, which she takes with her anywhere she goes. If there is a tale to be told, a song to be sung, or a friend to be made; she wants to be there.
She is also a strong ally of her brother, and heir to Blackheart, Damon. The two siblings share a close bond, and even respect their half-brother, Steffon Storm. Over the years Ravella has become sympathetic to Damon and his gentler ways - often acting as his confidence when his own falters. For it cannot be forgotten that Ravella is as much a Stormlord as any other of her family.

Archetyped NPCs

Maric Toyne (Swords) - Maric Toyne is the younger brother of Balon Toyne, and the second son of Ser Galladon. Maric is the second son of a second son, and as such, stands to gain little of Blackheart or it's lands - not that it means much to him anyway. For Maric is broad, tall and strong - but little else. His swordsmanship is noteworthy, but he often relies more on size and strength than honed technique.
Damon Toyne (Medic) - Heir to Blackheart, though he would rather not be. Damon Toyne is not a bold warrior like his cousins, nor a famed commander like his grandsire, nor has he the boldness and charisma of his sister. Instead, Damon is more a man of learning. Quiet, mild mannered; he prefers books to swords. Books that have helped him gain an understanding on how he is to help others, great or small. For while he is meek at heart, he means well.

Lol my life in a nutshell. Every woman I've countered hated it if I paid them any kind of attention. Would make gross faces at me and shut me down coldly or insult me or just flat out ignore me. Literally traumatized by how they've treated me over the years. You try to have a simple interaction but they think you're 'too boring', you try to show more interest in them but then you're too "desperate", they tell you to be more bold but then you're too "persistent", you try to not be bold and let them figure things out on their end but then you're "lacking confidence", if you try to give even a regular compliment on their hair or jewelry they accuse you of "trying to get in their pants".
So then I simply pay them less attention, just try not to look at them and only speak if spoken to in regular plain language with no suggestive nature at all. I mean, I always get told about how women hate male attention especially from men they find unattractive, they hate it when men look at or "ogle" them or give them "creepy unwanted" compliments, I'm just trying to do them the favor of not disturbing them or creeping them out with my disgusting presence. And they basically hate me even more for it. They take me just simply not paying them much attention like they've constantly instilled on me that they wanted me to do, as some horrible personal attack, make even more disgusted faces at me and treat me like less than human, like they need to "get back at me" for it or something. Literally can't win at all.
​

— What is this and where are we?
We are all in a massive multiplayer metaverse sandbox game. All players get to read and write anything, literally anything, from point zero.
— I hate this game. When will it end?
“When” is not a correct word to use. At point zero, in the “beginning”, there is no time. Rules of physics and time are also written by players.
We think there is time, only because we are being trapped by this universe’s writer who has written a temporally linear rule. Time is a construct. Imagine how one can draw a straight line on a blank paper and have everything around it to obey this line, that is how you materialize, a.k.a. manifest reality in this game. Taken away what has been drawn, the blank paper is always just a blank paper without a straight line, without time.
The blank paper is similar to the concept of “emptiness”, a.k.a. the “voidness”, in Mahayana Buddhism.
Without the blank paper, there will be no creations. But the blank paper itself is not creation.
Anything is possible to be created on this blank paper – literally anything, if you give a creation enough “dependent” factors to manifest itself. In other words, the more complicated the drawing, the more correct strokes you will need to draw it. Anything is possible.
Everything is HERE and NOW, on this blank paper.
Heaven in HERE and NOW, on this blank paper.
Hell in HERE and NOW, on this blank paper.
Gospel of Thomas (113) His disciples said to him, "When will the kingdom come?" Jesus said "It will not come by waiting for it. It will not be a matter of saying 'here it is' or 'there it is.' Rather, the kingdom of the father is spread out upon the earth, and men do not see it."
We all have as much access to this blank paper as every other player. Both read access AND write access. Hence the saying “We are all powerful”. Most of us here have been made forgotten the ability to write and now we think we only can read.
— On reincarnation:
Reincarnation is fractal, intrinsically not temporally or causationally linear (as most of us would reckon). Reincarnation and ability of manifestation (!) is a multidimensional distance minimization function in this game. In this very universe, our ability to create has been utilized against us to trap us here indefinitely. In here, upon our death, the strongest and most consistent desire of one’s psyche will manifest itself back into this universe. But how? I will explain a bit more but my friend, this is, in my opinion, also the only key to escape.
— On this universe (and reincarnation again):
The creator of this corner of metaverse is very clever. He had only taken a small subset of physics rule (linear forward time and 3d space) but he made sure within this small subset of space, every single possibility (event, emotion, desire) was being written. And that is probably why the Akashic record has everything already written.
Upon our death, the coordinates closest to our heart, our strongest desires, and most consistent emotions is almost always within this creation (based on multidimensional distance minimization, remember?)
We are all just used to reading data. Our five senses and “rational” thoughts are all written into us, by our brains that monotonically interpret reality based on our brains’ neural pathway. (Look at how machine learning program is designed, that is approximately how our brains work)
With our read-only inertia and our emotions + desires generated from interaction within creation of this universe, we are almost guaranteed to come back. This is how our power to manifest has been used against us to keep us here, our power to manifest has become reincarnation within a trap.
Archons and / or creator of this universe are players who have much better understanding of, and skills at this game, adding another layer of complexity as they work to trap as many players as possible. And yes, they are kind of winning.
— Are there other players and other universes?
Yes. Amitabha Buddha for example, has created Sukhavati (aka Western Pure Land) for players in this universe to take refuge in his universe under his protection. According to Buddhism, each Buddha creates their own universe(s). Distance wise, Sukhavati is said to be numerous universes away from where we are.
— So.. how do we escape?
Reincarnation is our lock but the lock is also the key, the only key. Our ability to create, when used against us, becomes reincarnation. The way in is the only way out. We must rediscover our power to manifest.
We are being made to forget our ability to write correctly. We have to rediscover writing.
We are poets; we are writers; we are painters.
— But how?? How exactly do we write?
Consciousness, focus, desire, imagination, action, and help
Writing is all about putting all your consciousness into (aka putting your heart and soul into) your creation, YOUR universe. Stop being a reader of whoever has written this universe. By reading and emotionally responding too much to this universe you are wasting your power of consciousness. You become a reader.
Focus on what you must create. The more complicated the drawing, the more correct strokes you will need, to draw it. Practise ability to focus by meditation. Unfortunately spending 30 minutes on stupid tiktok, 2 hours on TV, 1 hour on random stuffs on reddit every day isn’t going to help us escape. It will get us trapped.
Extrapolate beyond this universe. Visualize a universe that fundamentally rejects characteristics of this universe. Use your imagination to keep desiring and visualizing the universe that you want other players to enjoy. Do it all the time. If you start to dream about it, then you are one step closer to escaping. This is the only way to flip our lock back into the key – the key of creation and manifestation. The key that unlocks our power from within.
Action - if I imagine a world with no sufferings, then I must act on it too, to remove as much sufferings as possible in my daily life. Action is an important part of manifestation . One can wish for being a rich person but if he acts like a poor person, he will not be rich.
Help – This is where I do not agree with the common consensus of this sub. I think we all need external help. Most of us don’t even know how to draw a proper line on this blank paper in this game. All we have been doing since birth was reading shxt drawn by others and unconsciously making random doodles. And thanks to modern life too which means we are 24/7 being distracted by random and meaningless shxt.
— Conclusion
Gospel of Thomas (2) Jesus said, "Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over the All."
PS: Yes, this also means that any player can create an absolute hell to trap other players in. Just remember though, if a trapped player figures out a way to escape, they can create anything on this blank paper, including an inter-player interdimensional war. The choice is yours.
Tl;dr Enjoy the game

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"The art of war" describes the General as administering a region of his people, keeping the nobles sidelined as much as possible, needing to be able to raise large peasant armies and disband them quickly, and not linger on the battlefield so the peasants become angry... all that lead me to imagine a China completely reformed by the warring states era, in order to allow a general produce huge peasant armies, quickly, under only the king's orders, with no interference and an already built supply chain ...
And I found this today. In a lot of ways it makes what's happening in kingdom more interesting, at least to me. It makes total sense how Ouki and Renpa would muse about the conclusion of the age... if it was all about armies getting bigger and bigger, the winning side was the one that could keep fielding huge armies for more decades than their enemies. Which is pretty much how it went... and its partly because Qin transformed itself the most. Hara probably intended "The war god king Sho" to reflect that, someone who transformed the society to be most efficient at warfare.
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https://scholarworks.iu.edu/dspace/bitstream/handle/2022/23445/2.1-Warring_States-2010.pdf?sequence=2&isAllowed=y
"Introduction: The Warring States period resembles the Spring and Autumn period in many ways. The multi-state structure of the Chinese cultural sphere continued as before, and most of the major states of the earlier period continued to play key roles. Warfare, as the name of the period implies, continued to be endemic, and the historical chronicles continue to read as a bewildering list of armed conflicts and shifting alliances. In fact, however, the Warring States period was one of dramatic social and political changes.
Perhaps the most basic of these changes concerned the ways in which wars were fought. During the Spring and Autumn years, battles were conducted by small groups of chariot-driven patricians. Managing a two-wheeled vehicle over the often uncharted terrain of a battlefield while wielding bow and arrow or sword to deadly effect required years of training, and the number of men who were qualified to lead armies in this way was very limited. Each chariot was accompanied by a group of infantrymen, by rule seventy-two, but usually far fewer, probably closer to ten. Thus a large army in the field, with over a thousand chariots, might consist in total of ten or twenty thousand soldiers. With the population of the major states numbering several millions at this time, such a force could be raised with relative ease by the lords of such states.
During the Warring States period, the situation was very different. One reason why the armies of Wu and Yue had been so effective during the period 506-476 was that they did not employ chariot warfare. The uneven country of the south, split by rivers everywhere, made chariot warfare impractical, and Wu and Yue chose instead to raise massive armies of infantry. Infantry armies moved as rapidly as traditional ones – after all, the infantrymen that accompanied chariots limited the mobility of the whole – and they could be used much more flexibly than armies tied to chariot riding patricians. Horseback command, rather than chariot command, also gave patrician officers more freedom of movement.
The northern states learned the lessons of the period of Wu-Yue hegemony. The chariot was largely discarded, and instead of concentrating on the size and training of their elite officer corps, patrician lords cultivated huge armies of peasant infantrymen. During the Warring States years, the overall population of China grew rapidly, spurred by great strides in agricultural technology – the raw material for massive armies was there. Traditional state structures were not conducive to the raising of such numbers of men, however. To achieve the military ends that became increasingly vital to the survival of the state, the patrician lords and their advisors engineered fundamental changes in the structure of the state itself. Three of these changes stand out: 1) the altered relationship between the peasant and the lord; 2) revisions in political administration that increased centralized control to the disadvantage of the patrician class; 3) a sharp rise in social mobility occasioned by the need for true expertise in the management of large armies and growing, centralized states.
Most profoundly changed was the relationship between the lord and the peasantry. The altered military situation now made farmers doubly valuable to their lords: they represented not only his main source of income, but the heart of his war machine as well. Systems of taxation in state after state were reformulated so that the peasant’s payment to his lord no longer took the form of field labor, but was a direct payment in cash or in crops, resources that could sustain the lord’s household or be converted to funds necessary to raise and provision armies. In the course of this transition, the peasantry for the first time were viewed as, in some sense, possessing the lands upon which they paid tax. In some states they were even licensed to buy and sell land, the truest test of ownership in the modern sense.
The altered relationship between ruler and people is also reflected in the restructuring of administration which occurred in many states. The degree of change varied widely from state to state: among the major states, Chu was probably least touched by them, while Qin was unquestionably the most fundamentally transformed. The nature of the changes also differed among states, but there was a common thread. In virtually all cases, state administration was restructured so that lands and cities were divided into centrally designated units and control over these units was directly determined by the ruler and his close advisors, rather than becoming the hereditary prerogatives of patrician clans. Thus the peasants and city-dwelling commoners fell increasingly under the control of the ruler’s court, and the regional patrician clans more and more found themselves excluded from access to real power. The increased control that the lord exercised aided him in the task of maintaining the state’s readiness in war and coherence in diplomatic policy.
Finally, the fast growing need for skilled men able to administer the vastly more complex military and political demands of the Warring States period created a lively demand for men of intellectual talent. Whereas the most prized skills of the Spring and Autumn period had been the charioteering skills and ritualized etiquette of the patrician born – abilities that could be drilled into any young man – the Warring States prized the ability to devise clever and original strategies of war, or of economic and diplomatic policy. Raw intelligence and learning which was often derived through study of books or with an expert teacher were now the qualities most prized; whatever their virtues of bravery, bearing, and clan loyalty, the patrician class held no monopoly on intelligence, and, in time, little advantage with regard to learning as well. Consequently, the Warring States was a time of sharply increasing social mobility. Positions of power gradually shifted into the hands of men of wit, many of whom were of low birth or sons of very junior branches of the shi class.
Along with changes in agricultural technology and commerce, these factors made the Warring States both the bloodiest and most dynamic era of Chinese history."

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==

• What do you think he makes? BARRY:
• Not enough. TOUR GUIDE: Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. (They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each wearing a finger-shaped hat) Barry:
• Wow, What does that do? TOUR GUIDE:
• Catches that little strand of honey : that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can anyone work on the Krelman? TOUR GUIDE: Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. : But choose carefully : because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. (Everyone claps except for Barry) BARRY: The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. ADAM:

What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:

• It's like putting a hat on your knee. VANESSA:
• Maybe I'll try that. (A custodian installing a lightbulb looks over at them but to his perspective it looks like Vanessa is talking to a cup of coffee on the table) CUSTODIAN:
• You all right, ma'am? VANESSA:
• Oh, yeah. Fine. : Just having two cups of coffee! BARRY: Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. VANESSA== Yeah, it's no trouble. BARRY: Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. (Barry points towards the rum cake) : Can I take a piece of this with me? VANESSA: Sure! Here, have a crumb. (Vanessa hands Barry a crumb but it is still pretty big for Barry) BARRY:
• Thanks! VANESSA:
• Yeah. BARRY: All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.
  : Or not. VANESSA: OK, Barry... BARRY: And thank you so much again... for before. VANESSA: Oh, that? That was nothing. BARRY: Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... (Vanessa and Barry hold hands, but Vanessa has to hold out a finger because her hands is to big and Barry holds that) (The custodian looks over again and it appears Vanessa is laughing at her coffee again. The lightbulb that he was screwing in sparks and he falls off the ladder) (Fast forward in time and we see two Bee Scientists testing out a parachute in a Honex wind tunnel) BEE SCIENTIST #1: This can't possibly work. BEE SCIENTIST #2: He's all set to go. We may as well try it. : OK, Dave, pull the chute. (Dave pulls the chute and the wind slams him against the wall and he falls on his face.The camera pans over and we see Barry and Adam walking together) ADAM:
  
• Sounds amazing. BARRY:
  
• It was amazing! : It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.
  

ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:

• We're all jammed in. : It's a close community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. BARRY:
• What if you get in trouble? MOOSEBLOOD:
• You a mosquito, you in trouble. : Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! BARRY: At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. : Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. (An ambulance passes by and it has a blood donation sign on it) You got to be kidding me! : Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! (Mooseblood leaves and flies onto the window of the ambulance where there are other mosquito's hanging out) :
• Hey, guys! OTHER MOSQUITO:
• Mooseblood!

MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:

• And I'm Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, : intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, : packaging it and profiting from it illegally! JEANETTE CHUNG: Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, : we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, : Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. (The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry King and Barry) BEE LARRY KING: Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. : Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? BARRY: Bees have never been afraid to change the world. : What about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? BEE LARRY KING: Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
  : We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. BARRY: How old are you? BEE LARRY KING: The bee community is supporting you in this case, : which will be the trial of the bee century. BARRY: You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. BEE LARRY KING: It's a common name. Next week... BARRY: He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... BEE LARRY KING: Next week... BARRY: Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. BEE LARRY KING: Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here, live. (Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen) BARRY: Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. (Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her. They are arguing)
  

KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:

• Mr. Liotta, please sit down! (We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case) (Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa) BARRY: I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. VANESSA: I think the jury's on our side. BARRY: Are we doing everything right,you know, legally? VANESSA: I'm a florist. BARRY: Right. Well, here's to a great team. VANESSA: To a great team! (Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa) KEN: Well, hello. VANESSA:
• Oh, Ken! BARRY:
• Hello! VANESSA: I didn't think you were coming. : No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... (Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge) ...the battery... VANESSA:

I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)

• You got the tweezers? LAWYER:
• Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only to losing, son. Only to losing. : Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. : What exactly is your relationship (Points to Vanessa) : to that woman? BARRY: We're friends. MONTGOMERY:
• Good friends? BARRY:
• Yes. MONTGOMERY: How good? Do you live together? ADAM: Wait a minute... : MONTGOMERY: Are you her little... : ...bedbug? (Adam's stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated) I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,
  : doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? BARRY:
  
• Yeah, but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing at Janet and Martin)
  
• So those aren't your real parents! JANET:
  
• Oh, Barry... BARRY:
  
• Yes, they are! ADAM: Hold me back! (Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? ADAM: He's denouncing bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't y'all date your cousins? (Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam) VANESSA:
  
• Objection! (Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at Montgomery) =ADAM:
  
• I'm going to pincushion this guy! BARRY: Adam, don't! It's what he wants! (Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around)
  

MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:

• No! : No one's flying the plane! BUD DITCHWATER: (Through radio on plane) This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? VANESSA: This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. BUD: Where's the pilot? VANESSA: He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. BUD: Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? BARRY: As a matter of fact, there is. BUD:
• Who's that? BARRY:
• Barry Benson. BUD: From the honey trial?! Oh, great. BARRY: Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. : It's got giant wings, huge engines.

VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:

• Sure is. BARRY: Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. (Barry recreates the scene near the beginning of the movie where he flies through the box kite. The movie fades to black and the credits being) [--after credits; No scene can be seen but the characters can be heard talking over the credits--] You have got to start thinking bee, my friend! :
• Thinking bee!
• Me? BARRY: (Talking over singer) Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? SINGER: Oh, BarryBARRY: I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! SINGER: All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. BARRY: I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

Notes:

• I am EXTREMELY busy, but I check my messages and DMs at least ONCE per day. Please be patient and wait at least 24 hours for my response if I don't get back to you immediately.
  
• I buy only in Unrevealed Key Link Format or Plain Steam Keys. No gift links.
  
• For PayPal, I am in the US region and I only send via G&S. Please note there will be PayPal fees (including international/conversion and purchasing fees) to consider.
  
• All games that you sell to me should ideally be REGION-FREE. Please ensure the games are not region-locked/bound to a specific country.
  
• You must be willing to fill a spreadsheet with steam keys.
  

 
I pay with the following:
TF2 & PayPal
 

I BUY HB Games	with TF2	with PayPal	Currently Active Humble Bundle?
20XX	0.4 TF2	$0.88 PP	-
5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel	2.6 TF2	$5.13 PP	-
60 Parsecs!	1.6 TF2	$3.16 PP	-
7 Billion Humans	1.4 TF2	$2.86 PP	-
7 Days to Die	1.1 TF2	$2.16 PP	-
A Game of Thrones: The Board Game - Digital Edition	1.4 TF2	$2.72 PP	-
A Hat in Time	5.1 TF2	$10.08 PP	-
A Juggler's Tale	1.5 TF2	$2.9 PP	-
A Plague Tale: Innocence	1.7 TF2	$3.44 PP	-
ABZU	2.1 TF2	$4.23 PP	-
AMID EVIL	0.6 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
AO Tennis 2	0.8 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
APICO	2.3 TF2	$4.61 PP	-
Absolver	1.9 TF2	$3.84 PP	-
Aeterna Noctis	1.5 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Age of Empires Definitive Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.34 PP	-
Age of Empires III: Definitive Edition	1.5 TF2	$2.94 PP	-
Age of Wonders III Collection	0.9 TF2	$1.81 PP	-
Age of Wonders: Planetfall - Deluxe Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Age of Wonders: Planetfall	1.2 TF2	$2.28 PP	-
Airport CEO	3.3 TF2	$6.59 PP	-
Alan Wake Collector's Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.37 PP	-
Alan Wake's American Nightmare	0.5 TF2	$0.98 PP	-
Aliens: Colonial Marines Collection	1.2 TF2	$2.42 PP	-
Aliens: Fireteam Elite	1.0 TF2	$1.92 PP	-
Alina of the Arena	2.1 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$4.23 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Luck of the Draw: Roguelike Deckbuilders Bundle
Amnesia: The Dark Descent	1.8 TF2	$3.53 PP	-
Among Us	1.1 TF2	$2.11 PP	-
Ancestors Legacy	0.6 TF2	$1.2 PP	-
Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey	2.4 TF2	$4.79 PP	-
Aragami	0.4 TF2	$0.89 PP	-
Arizona Sunshine	2.1 TF2	$4.19 PP	-
Arma 3 Apex Edition	1.4 TF2	$2.8 PP	-
Arma 3 Contact Edition	2.5 TF2	$4.86 PP	-
Arma 3 Jets	1.1 TF2	$2.1 PP	-
Arma 3 Marksmen	0.9 TF2	$1.72 PP	-
Arma 3	2.0 TF2	$3.89 PP	-
Assetto Corsa Competizione	3.1 TF2	$6.1 PP	-
Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition	6.8 TF2	$13.53 PP	-
Automobilista 2	9.4 TF2	$18.68 PP	-
BATTLETECH - Mercenary Collection	3.8 TF2	$7.55 PP	-
BIOMUTANT	1.5 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
BROFORCE	1.1 TF2	$2.17 PP	-
Baba Is You	1.5 TF2	$3.06 PP	-
Back 4 Blood	2.8 TF2	$5.49 PP	-
Bad North: Jotunn Edition	1.6 TF2	$3.07 PP	-
Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Bang-On Balls: Chronicles	3.1 TF2	$6.12 PP	-
Banished	2.2 TF2	$4.29 PP	-
Barotrauma	7.1 TF2	$14.14 PP	-
Bastion	0.5 TF2	$0.95 PP	-
Batman - The Telltale Series	1.4 TF2	$2.83 PP	-
Batman Arkham Collection	1.2 TF2	$2.42 PP	-
Batman: Arkham Knight	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Batman: The Enemy Within - The Telltale Series	1.4 TF2	$2.72 PP	-
Batman™: Arkham Knight Premium Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.53 PP	-
Batman™: Arkham Origins	0.9 TF2	$1.75 PP	-
Batman™: Arkham VR	0.7 TF2	$1.47 PP	-
Battle Chasers: Nightwar	0.6 TF2	$1.2 PP	-
Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II	1.8 TF2	$3.51 PP	-
Battlefleet Gothic: Armada	0.9 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
Battlezone Gold Edition	2.1 TF2	$4.25 PP	-
Besiege	1.5 TF2	$2.89 PP	-
Beyond Blue	1.6 TF2	$3.17 PP	-
Beyond Two Souls	1.9 TF2	$3.68 PP	-
BioShock Collection	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
BioShock Infinite	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
BioShock Remastered	0.9 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Bioshock Infinite: Season Pass	0.7 TF2	$1.32 PP	-
Blade of Darkness	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Blair Witch	1.1 TF2	$2.27 PP	-
Blasphemous	1.0 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.9 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Must-Play Metroidvanias Bundle
Blood Bowl 2 - Legendary Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.67 PP	-
Blood: Fresh Supply	0.6 TF2	$1.28 PP	-
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night	1.4 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$2.71 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Must-Play Metroidvanias Bundle
Boomerang Fu	0.6 TF2	$1.18 PP	-
Borderlands 2 VR	4.6 TF2	$9.16 PP	-
Borderlands 2	0.8 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition	2.4 TF2	$4.85 PP	-
Borderlands 3	1.3 TF2	$2.63 PP	-
Borderlands 3: Director's Cut	1.3 TF2	$2.51 PP	-
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection	3.3 TF2	$6.5 PP	-
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Brutal Legend	1.0 TF2	$2.03 PP	-
Bus Simulator 18	2.1 TF2	$4.07 PP	-
CHUCHEL Cherry Edition	0.5 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Call of Cthulhu	1.1 TF2	$2.21 PP	-
Call of Duty: WWII	14.7 TF2	$29.16 PP	-
Call of Juarez: Gunslinger	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PP	-
Call to Arms - Gates of Hell: Ostfront	9.6 TF2	$18.99 PP	-
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018	0.9 TF2	$1.75 PP	-
Carcassonne - Tiles & Tactics	0.6 TF2	$1.22 PP	-
Carto	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
Celeste	1.8 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$3.56 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Pixel Pride Bundle
Chess Ultra	0.6 TF2	$1.2 PP	-
Children of Morta	0.6 TF2	$1.23 PP	-
Chivalry 2	3.4 TF2	$6.82 PP	-
Chivalry: Medieval Warfare	0.4 TF2	$0.8 PP	-
Chrono Ark	2.8 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$5.56 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Luck of the Draw: Roguelike Deckbuilders Bundle
Cities: Skylines Deluxe Edition	7.2 TF2	$14.2 PP	-
Clone Drone in the Danger Zone	4.8 TF2	$9.55 PP	-
Cloudpunk	0.9 TF2	$1.74 PP	-
Code Vein	1.7 TF2	$3.35 PP	-
Coffee Talk	2.5 TF2	$4.93 PP	-
Company of Heroes 2 - The Western Front Armies	0.8 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
Company of Heroes	1.8 TF2	$3.62 PP	-
Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts	0.8 TF2	$1.49 PP	-
Conan Exiles	2.0 TF2	$3.88 PP	-
Construction Simulator 2015	1.2 TF2	$2.44 PP	-
Contagion	0.4 TF2	$0.89 PP	-
Control Ultimate Edition	1.9 TF2	$3.86 PP	-
Creed: Rise to Glory™	2.2 TF2	$4.37 PP	-
Crusader Kings II: Imperial Collection	9.9 TF2	$19.52 PP	-
Crusader Kings II: Royal Collection	6.5 TF2	$12.82 PP	-
Crusader Kings III	7.2 TF2	$14.2 PP	-
Crysis® 2 Maximum Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.56 PP	-
Cultist Simulator Anthology Edition	1.4 TF2	$2.75 PP	-
Cultist Simulator	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Curse of the Dead Gods	0.8 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.65 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Choice (Jun 2023)
DARK SOULS™ III Deluxe Edition	19.8 TF2	$39.14 PP	-
DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT	3.0 TF2	$5.89 PP	-
DEATHLOOP	2.7 TF2	$5.33 PP	-
DIRT 5	4.2 TF2	$8.36 PP	-
DMC - Devil May Cry	1.0 TF2	$1.9 PP	-
DRAGON BALL FIGHTERZ - Ultimate Edition	15.2 TF2	$30.14 PP	-
DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2	1.8 TF2	$3.54 PP	-
DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE	0.6 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
DRAGONBALL XENOVERSE Bundle Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
DRIFT21	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Dark Deity	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin	7.8 TF2	$15.53 PP	-
Dark Souls III	16.7 TF2	$33.01 PP	-
Darkest Dungeon	0.6 TF2	$1.17 PP	-
Darksiders Genesis	1.3 TF2	$2.66 PP	-
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.06 PP	-
Darksiders III	0.8 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
Darkwood	0.5 TF2	$1.07 PP	-
Day of the Tentacle Remastered	0.4 TF2	$0.88 PP	-
DayZ	8.2 TF2	$16.2 PP	-
Daymare: 1998	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
Dead Estate	1.4 TF2	$2.85 PP	-
Dead Island - Definitive Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.61 PP	-
Dead Island Definitive Collection	1.5 TF2	$2.96 PP	-
Dead Island Riptide - Definitive Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.25 PP	-
Dead Rising 2: Off the Record	1.2 TF2	$2.44 PP	-
Dead Rising 3 Apocalypse Edition	1.7 TF2	$3.29 PP	-
Dead Rising 4 Frank’s Big Package	2.5 TF2	$4.96 PP	-
Dead Rising 4	1.0 TF2	$2.04 PP	-
Dead Rising	1.0 TF2	$1.92 PP	-
Dead Rising® 2	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Death's Gambit	0.6 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
Deep Rock Galactic	3.3 TF2	$6.58 PP	-
Descenders	0.7 TF2	$1.44 PP	-
Desperados III	0.9 TF2	$1.78 PP	-
Destiny 2: Beyond Light	1.2 TF2	$2.34 PP	-
Destroy All Humans	1.0 TF2	$2.06 PP	-
Deus Ex: Human Revolution - Director's Cut	0.9 TF2	$1.8 PP	-
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided	1.1 TF2	$2.21 PP	-
Devil May Cry HD Collection	1.8 TF2	$3.56 PP	-
Devil May Cry® 4 Special Edition	1.4 TF2	$2.84 PP	-
DiRT Rally 2.0	5.0 TF2	$9.99 PP	-
Dicey Dungeons	1.2 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$2.43 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Luck of the Draw: Roguelike Deckbuilders Bundle
Dinosaur Fossil Hunter	0.5 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
Distance	1.0 TF2	$2.07 PP	-
Distant Worlds: Universe	0.6 TF2	$1.27 PP	-
Do Not Feed the Monkeys	0.4 TF2	$0.75 PP	-
Door Kickers	1.7 TF2	$3.33 PP	-
Door Kickers: Action Squad	0.4 TF2	$0.74 PP	-
Dorfromantik	2.0 TF2	$4.0 PP	-
Dragon Ball FighterZ	2.2 TF2	$4.34 PP	-
Dragons Dogma - Dark Arisen	1.0 TF2	$2.07 PP	-
Drake Hollow	0.4 TF2	$0.89 PP	-
Drone Swarm	0.4 TF2	$0.8 PP	-
Dungeon Defenders	1.1 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
Dungeon Defenders: Awakened	2.6 TF2	$5.21 PP	-
Dungreed	0.9 TF2	$1.78 PP	-
Dusk	2.0 TF2	$4.0 PP	-
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair	3.1 TF2	$6.22 PP	-
ELEX	1.1 TF2	$2.13 PP	-
EVERSPACE™	1.8 TF2	$3.57 PP	-
Elite: Dangerous	1.4 TF2	$2.75 PP	-
Empire of Sin	1.3 TF2	$2.6 PP	-
Endzone - A World Apart	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
Euro Truck Simulator 2	1.7 TF2	$3.37 PP	-
Exanima	2.6 TF2	$5.17 PP	-
FTL: Faster Than Light	1.0 TF2	$1.95 PP	-
Fable Anniversary	4.8 TF2	$9.48 PP	-
Fallout 76	2.2 TF2	$4.32 PP	-
Fantasy General II	0.6 TF2	$1.23 PP	-
Farming Simulator 17	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Fight'N Rage	0.7 TF2	$1.34 PP	-
Fights in Tight Spaces	6.0 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$11.88 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Luck of the Draw: Roguelike Deckbuilders Bundle
Firefighting Simulator - The Squad	4.8 TF2	$9.43 PP	-
First Class Trouble	0.5 TF2	$1.07 PP	-
For The King	0.9 TF2	$1.84 PP	-
Forager	1.1 TF2	$2.25 PP	-
Forts	3.0 TF2	$5.86 PP	-
Friday the 13th: The Game	2.9 TF2	$5.81 PP	-
Frostpunk	1.0 TF2	$2.03 PP	-
Full Metal Furies	0.6 TF2	$1.12 PP	-
Furi	1.3 TF2	$2.54 PP	-
GRID™	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
GRIME	0.5 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$0.97 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Choice (Jun 2023)
GRIS	0.5 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
GUILTY GEAR XX ACCENT CORE PLUS R	0.4 TF2	$0.82 PP	-
Gang Beasts	3.0 TF2	$5.94 PP	-
Garden Paws	1.0 TF2	$2.0 PP	-
Gas Station Simulator	3.1 TF2	$6.15 PP	-
Gears 5	10.9 TF2	$21.52 PP	-
Gears Tactics	4.8 TF2	$9.55 PP	-
Generation Zero®	0.8 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
Ghostwire Tokyo	2.5 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$4.89 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Choice (Jun 2023)
Goat Simulator	0.4 TF2	$0.89 PP	-
Godlike Burger	1.0 TF2	$1.9 PP	-
Golf With Your Friends	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Gordian Quest	1.8 TF2	$3.54 PP	-
Gotham Knights	5.5 TF2	$10.84 PP	-
GreedFall	0.8 TF2	$1.52 PP	-
Gremlins, Inc.	1.4 TF2	$2.74 PP	-
Grim Dawn	4.8 TF2	$9.54 PP	-
Grim Fandango Remastered	0.6 TF2	$1.1 PP	-
Guacamelee! 2	0.6 TF2	$1.18 PP	-
HITMAN™2 Gold Edition	3.0 TF2	$5.88 PP	-
HIVESWAP: Act 2	1.6 TF2	$3.23 PP	-
HROT	4.2 TF2	$8.22 PP	-
Hard Bullet	1.2 TF2	$2.35 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Battle for the Bosporus	1.8 TF2	$3.57 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet Edition	5.9 TF2	$11.67 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor	1.0 TF2	$1.94 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Waking the Tiger	2.0 TF2	$3.88 PP	-
Heave Ho	0.6 TF2	$1.09 PP	-
Heavy Rain	1.1 TF2	$2.25 PP	-
Hell Let Loose	6.3 TF2	$12.38 PP	-
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice	1.4 TF2	$2.86 PP	-
Hello, Neighbor!	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
Hellpoint	0.4 TF2	$0.73 PP	-
Heroes of Hammerwatch	0.8 TF2	$1.56 PP	-
Hitman Absolution	0.4 TF2	$0.77 PP	-
Hitman Game of the Year Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
Hollow Knight	2.5 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$4.93 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Must-Play Metroidvanias Bundle
Homefront: The Revolution	0.8 TF2	$1.65 PP	-
Homeworld: Deserts of Kharak	0.4 TF2	$0.76 PP	-
Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number Digital Special Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.22 PP	-
Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number	0.6 TF2	$1.14 PP	-
Hotline Miami	0.9 TF2	$1.81 PP	-
House Flipper	3.1 TF2	$6.08 PP	-
Human: Fall Flat	1.2 TF2	$2.29 PP	-
HuniePop	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Huntdown	1.7 TF2	$3.3 PP	-
Hurtworld	2.2 TF2	$4.4 PP	-
Hyper Light Drifter	1.6 TF2	$3.09 PP	-
Hypnospace Outlaw	0.8 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
I Am Fish	0.4 TF2	$0.72 PP	-
I Expect You To Die	1.3 TF2	$2.67 PP	-
I-NFECTED	4.1 TF2	$8.02 PP	-
INSIDE	1.6 TF2	$3.14 PP	-
INSURGENCY	2.3 TF2	$4.46 PP	-
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.73 PP	-
Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition	1.6 TF2	$3.16 PP	-
Imperator: Rome	1.2 TF2	$2.28 PP	-
In Sound Mind	0.5 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Injustice 2 Legendary Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.21 PP	-
Injustice 2	0.9 TF2	$1.74 PP	-
Injustice: Gods Among Us - Ultimate Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.29 PP	-
Into the Breach	1.5 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Into the Radius VR	3.3 TF2	$6.6 PP	-
Ion Fury	1.9 TF2	$3.74 PP	-
Iron Harvest	0.9 TF2	$1.83 PP	-
Jalopy	0.9 TF2	$1.81 PP	-
Job Simulator	6.2 TF2	$12.21 PP	-
Jurassic World Evolution 2	2.2 TF2	$4.4 PP	-
Jurassic World Evolution	0.7 TF2	$1.43 PP	-
Just Cause 2	0.4 TF2	$0.87 PP	-
Just Cause 4: Complete Edition	1.9 TF2	$3.82 PP	-
KartKraft	4.2 TF2	$8.39 PP	-
Katamari Damacy REROLL	1.1 TF2	$2.08 PP	-
Katana ZERO	1.5 TF2	$2.88 PP	-
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes	2.7 TF2	$5.42 PP	-
Killer Instinct	8.7 TF2	$17.3 PP	-
Killing Floor 2	0.7 TF2	$1.38 PP	-
Killing Floor	0.9 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
Kingdom Come: Deliverance	1.6 TF2	$3.09 PP	-
Kingdom: Two Crowns	1.1 TF2	$2.09 PP	-
Kitaria Fables	0.4 TF2	$0.75 PP	-
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Premium Edition	0.5 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
LEGO Batman Trilogy	1.4 TF2	$2.74 PP	-
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7	0.6 TF2	$1.2 PP	-
LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars	0.6 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga	0.6 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
LEGO® City Undercover	1.0 TF2	$1.93 PP	-
LEGO® DC Super-Villains Deluxe Edition	1.9 TF2	$3.77 PP	-
LEGO® DC Super-Villains	0.5 TF2	$0.95 PP	-
LEGO® Jurassic World™	0.4 TF2	$0.88 PP	-
LEGO® MARVEL's Avengers	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
LEGO® Marvel Super Heroes 2 Deluxe Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.15 PP	-
LEGO® Marvel Super Heroes 2	0.7 TF2	$1.32 PP	-
LEGO® Star Wars™: The Force Awakens - Deluxe Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
LEGO® Star Wars™: The Force Awakens	0.5 TF2	$0.98 PP	-
LEGO® Worlds	1.0 TF2	$1.96 PP	-
LIMBO	0.4 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
Labyrinth City: Pierre the Maze Detective	0.7 TF2	$1.45 PP	-
Labyrinthine	1.8 TF2	$3.54 PP	-
Lake	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Last Oasis	0.8 TF2	$1.67 PP	-
Layers of Fear 2	6.2 TF2	$12.22 PP	-
Layers of Fear	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Legion TD 2	2.3 TF2	$4.56 PP	-
Len's Island	4.1 TF2	$8.16 PP	-
Lethal League Blaze	2.4 TF2	$4.78 PP	-
Lethal League	1.5 TF2	$2.97 PP	-
Library Of Ruina	3.2 TF2	$6.36 PP	-
Life is Feudal: Your Own	0.7 TF2	$1.32 PP	-
Life is Strange 2 Complete Season	0.7 TF2	$1.43 PP	-
Little Misfortune	2.2 TF2	$4.42 PP	-
Little Nightmares Complete Edition	1.6 TF2	$3.09 PP	-
Little Nightmares	0.9 TF2	$1.79 PP	-
Lobotomy Corporation Monster Management Simulation	5.0 TF2	$9.88 PP	-
Loot River	2.9 TF2	$5.76 PP	-
Lords of the Fallen Game of the Year Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.61 PP	-
Lost Ember	1.4 TF2	$2.73 PP	-
Luck be a Landlord	1.0 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.91 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Luck of the Draw: Roguelike Deckbuilders Bundle
METAL GEAR SOLID V: THE PHANTOM PAIN	1.2 TF2	$2.41 PP	-
METAL GEAR SOLID V: The Definitive Experience	2.0 TF2	$3.99 PP	-
MORTAL KOMBAT 11	1.6 TF2	$3.07 PP	-
MX vs ATV Reflex	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Mad Max	1.1 TF2	$2.22 PP	-
Mafia II: Definitive Edition	3.0 TF2	$5.99 PP	-
Mafia III: Definitive Edition	2.1 TF2	$4.23 PP	-
Mafia: Definitive Edition	2.2 TF2	$4.3 PP	-
Magicka 2 - Deluxe Edition	1.0 TF2	$1.9 PP	-
Magicka 2	0.6 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
Magicka	0.4 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
Maneater	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
Mars Horizon	0.8 TF2	$1.52 PP	-
Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite - Deluxe Edition	2.8 TF2	$5.56 PP	-
Mass Effect™ Legendary Edition	6.2 TF2	$12.21 PP	-
Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne	0.7 TF2	$1.48 PP	-
Max Payne	1.0 TF2	$2.02 PP	-
MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries	2.5 TF2	$4.97 PP	-
Mega Man Legacy Collection 2	0.6 TF2	$1.25 PP	-
Mega Man Legacy Collection	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 - Deluxe Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.67 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 War Chest Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.64 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2	0.8 TF2	$1.64 PP	-
Messenger	0.9 TF2	$1.72 PP	-
Metro 2033 Redux	0.7 TF2	$1.48 PP	-
Metro Exodus	1.7 TF2	$3.46 PP	-
Metro Redux Bundle	0.9 TF2	$1.78 PP	-
Metro: Last Light Redux	1.1 TF2	$2.14 PP	-
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.02 PP	-
Middle-earth™: Shadow of War™	0.7 TF2	$1.48 PP	-
Middleearth Shadow of War Definitive Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.34 PP	-
Mirror's Edge	3.8 TF2	$7.56 PP	-
Miscreated	1.5 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Monster Hunter: World	3.4 TF2	$6.8 PP	-
Monster Sanctuary	0.6 TF2	$1.25 PP	-
Monster Train	0.5 TF2	$0.98 PP	-
Moonlighter	0.4 TF2	$0.81 PP	-
Moons of Madness	1.7 TF2	$3.43 PP	-
Mordhau	1.8 TF2	$3.56 PP	-
Mortal Kombat X	0.7 TF2	$1.32 PP	-
Mortal Shell	1.4 TF2	$2.72 PP	-
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Motorsport Manager	1.4 TF2	$2.73 PP	-
Move or Die	0.7 TF2	$1.44 PP	-
Moving Out	1.0 TF2	$1.9 PP	-
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden - Deluxe Edition	1.7 TF2	$3.28 PP	-
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden	1.8 TF2	$3.53 PP	-
My Friend Pedro	0.9 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
My Time At Portia	1.1 TF2	$2.11 PP	-
NARUTO SHIPPUDEN: Ultimate Ninja STORM 4 Road to Boruto	3.5 TF2	$6.89 PP	-
NASCAR Heat 5 - Ultimate Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 4	2.0 TF2	$3.9 PP	-
Naruto to Boruto Shinobi Striker - Deluxe Edition	1.6 TF2	$3.1 PP	-
Naruto to Boruto Shinobi Striker	0.4 TF2	$0.82 PP	-
Necromunda: Hired Gun	1.0 TF2	$1.97 PP	-
Neon Abyss	0.5 TF2	$0.94 PP	-
Neverwinter Nights: Complete Adventures	3.7 TF2	$7.26 PP	-
Nine Parchments	2.1 TF2	$4.22 PP	-
No Straight Roads: Encore Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.63 PP	-
No Time to Relax	3.7 TF2	$7.29 PP	-
Northgard	1.2 TF2	$2.38 PP	-
Not For Broadcast	0.6 TF2	$1.28 PP	-
ONE PIECE BURNING BLOOD	0.7 TF2	$1.44 PP	-
ONE PIECE PIRATE WARRIORS 3 Gold Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.12 PP	-
One Step From Eden	1.0 TF2	$1.98 PP	-
Opus Magnum	1.1 TF2	$2.09 PP	-
Orcs Must Die! 3	1.9 TF2	$3.81 PP	-
Outlast 2	0.8 TF2	$1.61 PP	-
Outward	1.5 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Overcooked	0.8 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
Overcooked! 2	1.5 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Overgrowth	0.8 TF2	$1.54 PP	-
PC Building Simulator	0.7 TF2	$1.41 PP	-
Paint the Town Red	3.6 TF2	$7.1 PP	-
Parkitect	6.5 TF2	$12.85 PP	-
Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.24 PP	-
Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous	1.4 TF2	$2.79 PP	-
Pathologic 2	0.5 TF2	$1.03 PP	-
Pathologic Classic HD	0.6 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
Per Aspera	0.7 TF2	$1.37 PP	-
Pikuniku	0.7 TF2	$1.48 PP	-
Pillars of Eternity Definitive Edition	1.4 TF2	$2.87 PP	-
Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire	1.0 TF2	$2.02 PP	-
Pistol Whip	6.2 TF2	$12.21 PP	-
Plague Inc: Evolved	1.6 TF2	$3.2 PP	-
Planescape: Torment: Enhanced Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.76 PP	-
Planet Coaster	1.8 TF2	$3.63 PP	-
Planet Zoo	2.1 TF2	$4.17 PP	-
Planetary Annihilation: TITANS	7.1 TF2	$14.13 PP	-
Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid	2.7 TF2	$5.42 PP	-
PowerBeatsVR	1.0 TF2	$1.97 PP	-
PowerSlave Exhumed	1.4 TF2	$2.74 PP	-
Praey for the Gods	0.5 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
Prehistoric Kingdom	1.3 TF2	$2.51 PP	-
Prison Architect	0.4 TF2	$0.88 PP	-
Pro Cycling Manager 2019	1.3 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
Project Hospital	2.4 TF2	$4.72 PP	-
Project Wingman	1.6 TF2	$3.25 PP	-
Project Winter	1.5 TF2	$2.88 PP	-
Propnight	0.7 TF2	$1.37 PP	-
Pumpkin Jack	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
Quantum Break	2.6 TF2	$5.14 PP	-
RESIDENT EVIL 3	2.4 TF2	$4.76 PP	-
RUGBY 20	1.3 TF2	$2.55 PP	-
RUINER	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PP	-
RWBY: Grimm Eclipse	3.7 TF2	$7.42 PP	-
Ragnaröck	3.5 TF2	$6.84 PP	-
Railway Empire	0.4 TF2	$0.8 PP	-
Rain World	0.9 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.69 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Must-Play Metroidvanias Bundle
Raw Data	1.1 TF2	$2.14 PP	-
Re:Legend	1.0 TF2	$1.94 PP	-
Red Matter	4.5 TF2	$8.86 PP	-
Remnant: From the Ashes - Complete Edition	2.2 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$4.43 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Choice (Jun 2023)
Resident Evil / biohazard HD REMASTER	1.1 TF2	$2.09 PP	-
Resident Evil 0 / biohazard 0 HD Remaster	1.2 TF2	$2.31 PP	-
Resident Evil 5 GOLD Edition	1.5 TF2	$3.0 PP	-
Resident Evil 5	1.0 TF2	$1.95 PP	-
Resident Evil 6	1.4 TF2	$2.78 PP	-
Resident Evil: Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition	2.4 TF2	$4.84 PP	-
Resident Evil: Revelations	1.0 TF2	$1.93 PP	-
Retro Machina	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
Risen 3 - Complete Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.02 PP	-
Risen	0.6 TF2	$1.25 PP	-
Rising Storm 2: Vietnam	0.7 TF2	$1.33 PP	-
River City Girls	1.4 TF2	$2.83 PP	-
Roboquest	0.5 TF2	$1.05 PP	-
Rollercoaster Tycoon 2: Triple Thrill Pack	1.6 TF2	$3.16 PP	-
Rubber Bandits	0.8 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
Ryse: Son of Rome	1.7 TF2	$3.32 PP	-
SCP: Pandemic	2.4 TF2	$4.85 PP	-
SCUM	3.5 TF2	$6.86 PP	-
SOMA	3.3 TF2	$6.51 PP	-
SONG OF HORROR Complete Edition	1.0 TF2	$1.92 PP	-
STAR WARS® THE FORCE UNLEASHED II	0.9 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
STAR WARS®: Knights of the Old Republic™ II - The Sith Lords™	0.4 TF2	$0.76 PP	-
STAR WARS™: Squadrons	1.6 TF2	$3.14 PP	-
SUPERHOT	0.8 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE	0.5 TF2	$0.98 PP	-
Saint's Row The Third Remastered	2.4 TF2	$4.81 PP	-
Saints Row 2	0.8 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
Saints Row IV Game of the Century Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.6 PP	-
Saints Row IV	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Saints Row the Third - The Full Package	1.0 TF2	$1.91 PP	-
Saints Row: The Third	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
Salt and Sanctuary	1.1 TF2	$2.14 PP	-
Sanctum 2	0.5 TF2	$1.05 PP	-
Satisfactory	6.8 TF2	$13.49 PP	-
Scarlet Nexus	2.9 TF2	$5.75 PP	-
Scribblenauts Unlimited	0.4 TF2	$0.76 PP	-
Secret Neighbor	0.9 TF2	$1.74 PP	-
Serious Sam 2	0.8 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
Serious Sam 3: BFE	1.0 TF2	$1.95 PP	-
Serious Sam 4	4.7 TF2	$9.3 PP	-
Serious Sam: Siberian Mayhem	2.3 TF2	$4.47 PP	-
Severed Steel	1.7 TF2	$3.46 PP	-
Shadow Man Remastered	1.1 TF2	$2.11 PP	-
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Shadow Warrior 2	0.9 TF2	$1.74 PP	-
Shadow of the Tomb Raider	3.1 TF2	$6.15 PP	-
Shenmue 3	1.3 TF2	$2.55 PP	-
Shenmue I & II	1.3 TF2	$2.55 PP	-
Shining Resonance Refrain	0.4 TF2	$0.81 PP	-
Sid Meier's Civilization V	0.6 TF2	$1.25 PP	-
Sid Meier's Civilization VI : Platinum Edition	3.1 TF2	$6.22 PP	-
Sid Meier's Civilization VI	0.7 TF2	$1.43 PP	-
Sid Meier's Civilization® V: The Complete Edition	1.9 TF2	$3.71 PP	-
Sid Meiers Civilization IV: The Complete Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
Siege of Centauri	0.6 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
SimCasino	1.3 TF2	$2.54 PP	-
SimplePlanes	2.0 TF2	$3.89 PP	-
Skullgirls 2nd Encore	1.8 TF2	$3.62 PP	-
Slap City	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Slay the Spire	3.1 TF2	$6.22 PP	-
Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.81 PP	-
Slime Rancher	1.9 TF2	$3.8 PP	-
Sniper Elite 3	0.9 TF2	$1.87 PP	-
Sniper Elite 4	1.4 TF2	$2.69 PP	-
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered	1.4 TF2	$2.86 PP	-
Sniper Elite V2	1.0 TF2	$2.0 PP	-
Sniper Elite	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Sniper Ghost Warrior 3	0.8 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts	0.9 TF2	$1.85 PP	-
Sonic Adventure DX	0.7 TF2	$1.39 PP	-
Sonic Adventure™ 2	1.5 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Sonic Mania	1.5 TF2	$3.06 PP	-
Soul Calibur VI	1.6 TF2	$3.2 PP	-
Source of Madness	0.6 TF2	$1.12 PP	-
Space Engineers	2.6 TF2	$5.24 PP	-
Space Haven	0.6 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
Spec Ops: The Line	0.9 TF2	$1.79 PP	-
SpeedRunners	0.5 TF2	$1.02 PP	-
Spelunky	1.1 TF2	$2.22 PP	-
Spirit Of The Island	1.5 TF2	$2.88 PP	-
SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated	1.1 TF2	$2.13 PP	-
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy	4.8 TF2	$9.55 PP	-
Star Renegades	2.9 TF2	$5.82 PP	-
Star Trek: Bridge Crew	4.3 TF2	$8.55 PP	-
Star Wars: Battlefront 2 (Classic, 2005)	0.4 TF2	$0.84 PP	-
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic	0.4 TF2	$0.76 PP	-
Star Wars® Empire at War™: Gold Pack	1.1 TF2	$2.15 PP	-
Star Wars®: Jedi Knight®: Jedi Academy™	0.4 TF2	$0.73 PP	-
Starbound	1.4 TF2	$2.83 PP	-
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition	3.1 TF2	$6.21 PP	-
Staxel	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
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Hey all, wanted to post for 2 reasons: to provide a record of my weekly updates on this WOE for my own accountability, and to give information to the community about what is working for me and what isn't. I am willing to discuss anything mentioned below in greater detail.
Background: American, 34F, 5'4, SW 212 (bra size 36DD (it's a little small tbh), men's Levi's size 38x30). I have tried this diet in the past but was never really strict enough...I still included things like salsa, avocadoes, condiments, hard alcohol, and way too much cheese. This time around, I'm a lot more committed to the pure basics and not so interested in finding ways to softly cheat. Part of the reason for this is also to address what I feel is a growing problem with alcohol (regularly consuming 6+ drinks per day). I have a high stress job and have been moderately depressed/anxious but unmedicated since my teen years. I recently went through the ending of an 8-year relationship as well and a move. I smoke cigarettes rarely and cannabis even more rarely, but they are both on the table for me still. Beyond weight, mental health, and alcohol abuse (my primary concerns), I hope to address stubborn acne, reactivity to poison oak and sunburn, knee and shoulder pain from old injuries, and menstrual symptoms. I currently supplement with a women's multivitamin, lysine, and krill oil...whether I continue these after I run out remains to be seen. I am not on hormonal birth control or any rx meds.
Week 1 (June 1-7): Meals consisted mostly of 80/20 ground beef, with pork sausage, bear sausage, linguica, ribeye steaks, bacon, butter, smoked salmon, cream cheese, turkey breast, and a few eggs mixed in. The first day I tried dousing everything in my normal serving of hot sauce, which was a big mistake as I found out that night and the next morning. Since then I have just used salt, pepper, and garlic powder if I feel like it. I have been decreasing the salt over my normal amount. I eat once or twice a day, so far it has been somewhere between 1-2# of meat total (not much of a measurer).
I have noticed my sleep is better in some aspects and a lot worse in others. When I was drinking, I would fall asleep easier, but wake up with heartburn, anxiety, a headache, or some combination of hangover symptoms. I do not have any heartburn anymore after the first couple days, but I wake up every hour or so and have a much harder time falling asleep. I think this could be attributed to more than just dietary changes.
I have also noticed my mood is much more stable, notably, I am not as sad. I still feel stress and anger at times, but I don't wake up with a pit of dread and I feel less "hopeless." In fact, I had the motivation to attend a yoga class for the first time in years. The caveat with this is, I live in a rainy/foggy coastal climate, and my mood generally improves around the start of summer.
I have not had any alcohol since starting. I have been drinking a LOT of LaCroix and just plain water, as well as drip coffee, espresso, and green tea (all straight, no milk of any kind). This has certainly been challenging, but I feel that combining my carb and alcohol cravings and addressing them together has so far proven more effective than trying to separate them. I have tried to stop or cut back on drinking many, many times and have not had what I would consider success for many years. The interesting thing is, I'm not experiencing crazy sugar cravings like I have in the past with quitting drinking. I may also cut back on coffee as I don't feel as sluggish in the morning once I actually get out of bed.
I have lost 7# and some pants I couldn't even get on last week now button up easily. The fat roll on my back is almost gone, and my face looks better (acne is still there, I attribute that to stress and the detox from drinking). My overall body comp has always tended to be a bit musculadense.
This next week (June 8-14), I plan to introduce 48-72 hour fasts in the mix, mostly over weekends when my stress and activity levels are a bit lower. I attempted a 24-hr fast around day 4, and found that I was just so stressed out from work that I couldn't possibly bear the additional stress of not eating. I am trying to get back in tune with my body, I have neglected it for a long time and even put on the weight as a subconscious protection measure...a different topic. I also plan to reintroduce a light weightlifting regimen, I've lifted on and off since my teen athlete days. I might attempt a run or long bike ride as well. I plan to eat more ground beef, as well as bacon, elk steaks, ground bear, pork steaks, and smoked salmon or canned sardines. I think I might try the "gallon of water a day" thing and see how that goes.
The main takeways this week: greatly increased mood and outlook, more optimism rather than pessimism, no heartburn, better digestion, and better mornings.

"In the times of the powerful pharaoh Amenemhat III (12th dynasty), a group of Asiatic people settled in the Delta, with centre in Tell el-Daba. For years, they used Canaanite ceramic and raised Asiatic long-haired sheep; so, it seems their economy was based on shepherding. Also, a good amount of weaponry has been found in their tombs.
Years later, pharaohs became weaker and weaker, so it is not farfetched to imagine that those pharaohs might get wary of those thriving and belligerent Asiatic people in the Delta. As a matter of fact, in that period, something rather shocking happened in the Delta. In those times, infant mortality was high: between 20% and 30% of burials were of children younger than 18 months; but in this period in particular, the amount of little boys dead rocketed to 65%. We don’t know the reason.
At the same time, the papyrus Brooklyn 35:1446 records a decree by pharaoh Sobekhotep III (13th dynasty) for a transfer of 95 slaves; half of them have Semite names (Menahem, Issachar, Asher, Shiphrah, etc.). In this period there was no military campaign in Canaan, so where did those Asiatic slaves came from? Also, the number of female slaves is much higher than male slaves, by 3 to 1. Would this have anything to do with the high number of little boys dead and buried in the area of the Delta?
At face value, all this seems to fit with the narrative in Genesis and Exodus:
In the times of a powerful pharaoh, Jacob’s clan (and their Asiatic sheep) moves from Canaan and settles in the Delta. A later pharaoh becomes paranoid and decides to enslave this Asiatic people and also to kill a good number of male babies. But, alas, most modern scholars place the Bible narrative over 200 years after the times of Amenemhat III or Sobekhotep III.
The last pharaoh of this 13th dynasty was likely Dedumes or Dudimose. I say likely, because this period is a bit chaotic and we know relatively little about it and about this pharaoh.
There is a stele by Dudimose that mentions the military official Khonsuemwaset, who was also his son. This stele is interesting for two reasons.
One, that, since Dudimose apparently died with no heir, his son must have died before him. And two, that the pharaoh’s son is depicted with gloves, an element that in Egypt was an indication that the person was the commander of the cavalry; this is evidence that there were horses and chariots in Egypt before the Hyksos. But, for some reason, its use didn’t become widespread until years later.
There is an Egyptian work of literature called Admonitions of Ipuwer that most historians date around this period. If so, it may indicate that, for some reason, the end of this dynasty sunk Egypt into chaos; the work mentions the Nile turning into blood, plagues, fire and ashes falling from the sky and destroying the earth, death, slaves running away, social disorder, poverty, famine and Asiatics invading and sacking.
This seems to fit with what Manetho wrote about certain pharaoh Tutimaeus in his book Aegyptiaca, frag. 42, 1.75-79.2:
“In his reign, for what cause I know not, a blast of God smote us; and unexpectedly, from the regions of the East, invaders of obscure race marched in confidence of victory against our land. By main force they easily overpowered the rulers of the land.”
Flavius Josephus’ quotation from his book Against Apion (Book 1, section 73) is very similar:
“Under a king of ours named Timaus (Tutimaeus) God became angry with us, I know not how, and there came, after a surprising manner, men of obscure birth from the east, and had the temerity to invade our country, and easily conquered it by force, as we did not do battle against them.”
It would be very tempting to connect all of this information to the narrative in the book of Exodus. After all, we have a pharaoh with chariots whose firstborn son dies before him, and after him the country is devastated and extremely weak: it receives a blast of God because God is angry at them, the Nile turned into blood and other similar images are mentioned, their slaves run away and the country is so impoverished and its army so weak that after their slaves left, an Asiatic people, the Hyksos, conquer Egypt easily, with no battle.
However, most scholars today place the narrative of the Exodus about 300 years later than this, in the times of Ramesses II. It almost sounds like circular reasoning: “If the exodus happened, it must have happened in the times of Ramesses II; but in the times of Ramesses II no exodus happened, so, the exodus never happened.”
There are more parallelisms. For example, few years after all these events, an army was besieging the city of Jericho when, suddenly an earthquake collapsed its walls, allowing this army to enter and burn the city. This fits perfectly with the Bible story, but, again, it happened about 300 years too early.
A few scholars (and not all of them believers) have suggested that perhaps we are looking for historical and archaeological evidence in the wrong period; so, they have proposed that we should revise our traditional chronology for ancient Egypt.
After doing that shift, the parallelisms between the Bible and historical and archaeological findings are striking to say the least.
I don’t mean that I believe in this proposal; I am not totally convinced, but I think it is a reasonable approach. And you don’t need to believe in God or in the divine inspiration of the Bible in order to accept the possibility that the Bible narratives are based on real events. I feel that this field of knowledge is too overloaded with personal passionate ideas that make it difficult to have a rational approach. And I think that when people say that there is no evidence whatsoever for the Bible narrative of the Exodus they are going too far.

While the death of King Charles I would inaugurate one political wave, the events following his death would create one with even greater intensity. After the death of Charles, the Grandees of the Army, led by Fairfax and Cromwell, quickly turned their eye to the situation in Ireland. The event which finally began the English Civil War was the Irish Rebellion. However, with the Civil War raging for years, the Irish Confederates would win. But, while the Irish were ought of English sights, they were not out of English mind. With the domestic situation handled, Ireland was quickly the main issue.
But, as Cromwell prepared to lead an invasion of Ireland, minor dissent within the New Model Army finally exploded. Sentiment for a more democratic society had rapidly increased within the NMA after the King’s death. Starting as a small mutiny at Bishopsgate, throughout the ranks of the Army, men refused to suppress their comrades who had risen in refusal to go to Ireland, unless the Leveller Program was adopted. Not even Commander-in-Chief of the New Model Army, Thomas Fairfax, could stop the movement. While he was still beloved by his men, they were ultimately dedicated to the cause. Deciding that he could no longer work with the gorwing radicalism, Fairfax made good on his threat to resign.
This would leave Oliver Cromwell next in line to take over Command of the New Model Army. Cromwell would hesitate to take this role, due to discomfort with the Levellers, he would agree for the sake of the Commonwealth. While John Lilburne would call for the soldiers to refuse compromise with Cromwell, who he now despised, the Army was much more receptive. Even as they rose in disobedience against him, the New Model Army was still, at heart, loyal to Cromwell. Thus, a compromise would be struck with great ease. Cromwell agreed to request the dissolution of the Rump Parliament, and reluctantly agreed to include universal manhood suffrage (with exceptions for Royalists, domestic staff, and those reliant on charity) along with electoral reform, under the condition that the former would not be necessarily permanent. In exchange, Cromwell requested total to his authority on an Irish campaign. Led by Colonel William Eyre, the heavy majority of the Agitators (representatives of the soldiers, and de-facto representatives of the Mutineers) would agree to this deal. Despite the protests of Lilburne, the New Model Army was restored to order, while those who aggressively opposed the compromise were destroyed at the failed Banbury Mutiny.
With the New Model Army settled down, Cromwell would execute the first part of this deal. Cromwell would take a company of soldiers to the outskirts of London and head to Parliament. There, Cromwell would speak before the Rump. While praising Parliament’s work going back to the days of King Charles, Cromwell would present the bill for parliamentary reform (equalizing the representation of constituencies, temporary near-universal suffrage, and changing the # of MPs to 400), and then tell the Parliament that the Army wished for them to dissolve after passing the reform bill.
While Cromwell felt assured by leaders of the Rump that they would follow through, the situation in Westminster would not reflect these assurances. But, after two weeks the Rump had not passed either bill and there were allegations of the Rump’s desire to not pass the bill. With the Army on edge, Cromwell would bring out the sledgehammer against the Rump. He would denounce the Rump for its methods and attack various members as being drunkards, tricksters, pimps, and cheaters. He would then send in soldiers into the Chamber, and force Parliament to adopt the Reform Bill. But, he would not let Parliament dissolve itself. Still white with rage, Cromwell would give the Rump one final message, declaring, “You are no Parliament, I say you are no Parliament; I will put an end to your sitting! You have sat too long for any good you have been doing. Depart, I say, and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go!” With that, Cromwell would disperse of the Rump. Although he had no official authority, Cromwell had destroyed the Rump for good & begun the election campaign.
With their electoral program implemented, the Levellers appear to have momentum in the new elections. Their first and foremost policy is a call for the permanent implementation of the temporarily implemented nearly universal manhood suffrage. They also support the total concentration of power within Parliament, with Parliament being given authority to protect the interests of England geopolitically and various forms of English liberty. With the idea of “freeborn rights” at the centerpiece of their campaign, the Levellers call for a wide-ranging platform including full equality before the law, total religious freedom (although with a ban on Catholics in office), a right to remain silent, abolishment of debt prisons, reduction of the death penalty, a ban on all military conscription, the ending of forced tithes, and abolishment of the Anglican Church, and absolute free trade. There are also voices calling for the lowering of taxation (with a presumed lowering of spending, potentially affecting Army pensions) and a ban on military officers serving in Parliament, but they are opposed by Leveller Army officers, dubbed Agitators.
Even though the Grandees of the New Model Army were shocked by the one-two punch of the Leveller Mutiny and the resignation of Thomas Fairfax, they still retain great loyalty among their ranks. Although there are numerous disagreements about the nature of reforms within the faction, they are united by loyalty to Oliver Cromwell. Although the success of the Leveller Mutiny has caused those who favor the Grandees to pipe down on the issue, they still, by in-large support limited suffrage with those who hold property having the right to vote. There is also a general agreement on the need for legal, political, educational, and religious reforms, but differences in scope. The Independents of the Grandee faction focus on a call for religious toleration while calling for the moral regeneration of England. Inspired by Sir Matthew Hale, the Independents call for the reformation of the legal system, along with a reduction, but not abolition in tithes. However, their signature policy is one put forward by John Lambert, called the Instrument of Government, calling for a new Government based on the Separation of Powers, with an Executive, Cabinet, and Legislature designed to counterbalance each other. Meanwhile, another radical faction called the 5th Monarchists is led by Major-General Thomas Harrison, who gained fame for being Cromwell’s deputy in the Dissolution of the Rump. The 5th Monarchists are defined by their belief in the necessity of the establishment of a theocratic government, with their name coming from a prophecy in the Book of Daniel about four kingdoms that would precede the “Kingdom of God.” In the eyes of the 5th Monarchists, the Babylonian, Persian, Greek, and Roman (including the Papacy) Kingdoms were the 4 Kingdoms, and the execution of King Charles would usher in the Kingdom of God. Thus, the policies of the 5th Monarchists would be designed to set up a world ready for the return. They call for abolishing the current legal system in favor of making Biblical Law the common law, complete abolishing of tithes, expansive relief for the poor, restrictions on religious freedom on Catholics, abolition of Parliamentary Democracy in favor of the establishment of a new Assembly of 70, filled with the godly. Last, but not least, there was a final faction of the Grandees, but one that is surrounded by mystery and doubts. Although it is by no means official, there are whispers of a so-called King Party within the Grandees who favor the restoration of the House of Stuart, and placing Charles I’s son, Charles II, on the throne of the 3 Kingdoms with certain regulations. These men are those who are presumed to be most horrified by the success of the Leveller Mutiny and the mass expansion of rights. Although no candidate for office would ever publicly call for it, the movement to restore the King to stop ‘radicals’ is rumored to have the support of old Parliamentarian commanders such as the Earl of Manchester and William Waller, and, most shockingly, former Commander-in-Chief of the New Model Army Thomas Fairfax.
While the Levellers and Grandees would be the main parties, a new movement would rise from the shadows of the Civil War. Led by Gerrard Winstanley and William Everard, a group called the “True Levellers” or Diggers, would come into fruition with the publication of The New Law of Righteousness. While the main Levellers would ardently deny that they planned to redistribute wealth, the Diggers would proudly wear this label. Winstanley and Everard would call for the total and complete common ownership of land, with equal profits from the land, along with a total redistribution of wealth. Winstanley would also call for the abolition of private property (except for housing and basic goods). The Diggers would also call for the abolition of bartering, instead saying that the profit everyone earned would be good enough. Winstanley would also call for environmental protection along free public health insurance & education. Finally, despite some within the party advocating a relaxation of moral standards, Winstanley has remained devoted to Puritan ideals, but Everard is rumored to be sympathetic to such causes.
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