Hello everyone! Just a forewarning, this might be a long post. Writing is my way to get my thoughts and feelings out, and I tend to write a bit too much for everyone else's own good.
So, this is a weird one. I don't really know where to start. But, the friend in question (we'll call him... John) and I are in our freshman year of high school, though it is coming to an end. It's an exciting and stressful time in our lives, and the next couple of years are going to be essentially a free trial of actual adulthood.
Something that naturally comes from this period of growth is, of course, dating! Sometimes it seems like everyone's in a relationship. On social media you see couples all the time, and everyone is talking about asking someone out. It's hard to ignore it.
With that, my friend John has apparently been obsessed with this girl since the 4th grade. We'll call her... Abigail. I've personally never heard about this, but I thought that was fine. Turns, out he's been extremely anxious when talking, seeing, or even thinking about her. He's finally gathered the courage to try and talk to her, but there's some things that seemed off to me.
Now, I want to note I have no experience in this realm of life either, so I may be very, very out of touch as well. I hope I'm not, but it's a possibility.
With this newfound motivation, he's decided to start planning what he's going to do. Obviously, I would want to help with this! What type of friend would I be if I didn't help him with something if he asks? The thing is, I'm not sure the method he's set on is the best way of keeping both parties comfortable. I don't know how else to put that. Alongside that, selfishly, I just don't want to see him hurt if it doesn't work out.
Here's where things got a bit weird for me. First, he hasn't talked to Abigail since 4th grade. No contact. Not even mutual friends or anything until like a few months ago. Next, he wants to write a long, handwritten letter to her. That's not that bad, until I realized that he's going to enclose a bracelet his grandma gave him (for sentimental reasons) within the card. I've seen it. It's not cheap, that's for sure. Pretty sure it's pure sterling. It's no Tiffany & Co. bangle, but it was fancy, that's for damn sure. Last, he's done this before! He literally told nobody at all, but he did the same thing during Valentine's Day, to no response. Just an awkward laugh.
Frankly, I don't really know what to do. I want to tell him the truth. I think that it's a bad idea. I just don't want the girl to be uncomfortable or feel unsafe. If I was the recipient of this stuff, I would be really uncomfortable. He's a sensible and reasonable person, but he's just so into this right now that he's not realizing it.
What the fuck do I do? Sadly, I think it's likely he's going to be rejected, hard. This seems so trivial in the grand scheme of things, but I think this stuff is super important. Like I was saying in the beginning, this is our first real experience of... life. That stuff stings hard.
​
I don't know if I'm overreacting or not. I can't give out too much info about this, but I genuinely need some mature people's opinions and advice. I really want to help my friend out here, but I don't want to overstep. I might ruin my multi-year long friendship with him if I really tell the truth.

Before revealing the secrets of ‘how to start your own business?’, let me ask you some questions real quick –

1. Are you thinking of starting your own business and then taking it online, but don’t know where to start from?
2. You’re exhilarated to jump into the market with your products/services, without knowing the pros & cons of starting your own small business?
3. You want to take your business online to grow it but lack knowledge of the Internet.
4. You have no marketing strategies to elevate your small business to the international level.

If the answer to all of the above questions is ‘Yes’, you’ve come to the right place!
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If you often wonder how to start your own small business online, Here, you’ll learn the simple yet major steps to start your own business, the steps which were followed by business tycoons. And you’ll also get to know if starting a business will work for you or not.

How to Start Your Own Business?

1. First thing first – Come up with a good business Idea!

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Learn from successful businesses and think of a good business idea first. An idea that can help you build a product or service that solves the problem, fulfills the need of not only local consumers’ but also global consumers.
Do researches before jumping into anything.
Not just a business idea but a good business idea is really important to stay & grow in the market and make profits because according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor, 25% of the new businesses startups don’t survive the first year, 31% drops out in the second, and only 50% of businesses make it to the third year in the market.
So, whether you’re setting up a business following your passion, or just to earn more money, you need to find & follow the right business idea and growth strategy so that you can launch your business online to make your brand recognized internationally.
Below are mentioned some easy startup ideas you can start with low investment-

• Personal fitness trainer.
• Activities for children.
• Yoga instructor
• Business consultancy
• Event management
• Copywriting services
• Computer training.
• IT support
• Financial planner

1. Do research on your business idea

Once you finalize your small business idea, it’s time to take the next step which is to see if your business idea is worth shooting.
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For this, you can trust market research. Ensure to analyze your competitive businesses before starting your own business. Market research will help you to –

• Understand the need of your audience/customers.
• Lower the financial loss.
• Recognize the possible issues with your product/service
• Guide your business in the right direction by setting goals.

Important market research factors –

• Identify your targeted audience:

Search and pinpoint your target audience by studying the beneficiaries of your products or services. You should also consider the factors like age group, location, etc.

• Engage with your audience:

Once you come to know who your target audiences are, you can start surveys and talk to people directly to engage them. You can use any social media platform to engage with your audience. Social media is the perfect place to engage with your audience.

• Competitor analysis:

When you start your own business. Analysation of competitors’ products or services gives you a glance at the strategies and performance for you to find faults and improve your small business ideas accordingly.

1. Form a good Business Plan

By making a business plan, you’re setting your current and future business goals. You can take notes from other successful businesses on how they do their business planning. By making a plan, you can make the required arrangements to give direction to your company.
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A business plan is important because it helps you make efficient decisions for your business, to accomplish your goals by implying the best strategies.
Making a good business plan helps you also with-

• Identifying weaknesses
• Arranging a workflow.
• Arranging your business information in order.
• Hiring the right & responsible employees.

1. It’s Time To Make Your Business Official

Since you were working hard to finalize your business idea by doing market research, you must’ve found the answer to the most important question – What small business shall I start?
Once you decided on your niche and make the necessary preparations, it’s time to take your strategy to the next level and make your small business OFFICIAL.
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To start your own business officially, or to make your small business official, the following points might help you –

• First of all, you need to register your business with the country or state where you live to move further with your brand
• Apply for the required permit and license.
• Open a bank account for your business after getting a tax id number. This is required for your legal business transactions.

These steps will help you to make a patent of your brand so that no one else can use your brand name.
When all these formalities are completed and your business is official, you can set up a small office for the physical and an online presence.

1. Arrange Funds

“How to start a business with no money?” Has this thought ever struck your mind? Well, it’s true that some businesses don’t need many investments but if you want to start your own business and make your brand recognized and popular in the market, you might need funding because funding is fuel to business growth.
Here, read some tips to get the funding for your business to maintain your hold in the market.
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“From where I can get funds for business easily?”–

• An angel investor: Your friends or family can also participate in your business as angel investors by providing backup when you need funds.
• Crowdfunding: Nowadays crowdfunding is being popular among entrepreneurs. They receive small amounts of funds from a large number of individuals to finance their new business. But it takes time and needs a successful campaign.
• Government schemes: You can get a business loan under government schemes from the authorized bank.
• Small business loan: You can apply for a small business loan from any private bank.

BONUS: If you’re wondering “what business I can start with no money?”
Here is a short and effective business ideas list to help you out to start your own business with literally no money!

• Freelance content writing
• Business consultant
• Graphic designer
• Tutoring
• Web designer
• Personal fitness trainer
• Child care
• Bookkeeping
• Interior designer
• Copywriter
• Digital marketer

1. Grow Your Business

Without building your small business up, you can never grow your wallet as well as your company. For which you’ll need time, money, hard work, and a good marketing plan to grow your business.
For centuries, The most common question of small business owners is “How do I grow my business?”
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Before the internet, I might tell you several complicated different options or strategies to imply your business and pray for it to grow.
But in today’s time, traditional methods only work if you want to limit your business, Where the internet is a blessing for everyone, I can tell you a simple secret to grow your business not only locally but globally! Let’s sum up the solution in 2 words – Digital marketing!
Yes, simple yet powerful. To build your business, your brand needs a website and social media presence.

Feel free to contact us to discuss the marketing hacks and strategies to grow your business with Digital Marketing.

Moreover, if you want to add employees to your team, hire the best people who will support your tasks and lead you to your business goals.
Now, we’ll discuss the pros and cons of starting a business, to find out if it’s for you or not.

Cons:

• Minimal or no income in the early years.
• No benefits and perks from employers like paid vacations, medical insurance, increments, etc.
• No set income, sometimes you get less or none at all.
• No guidance or work procedure initially.
• Sometimes you will feel alone.
• longer hours of hard work.
• Failure feels unbelievably bad

Pros:

• Independency and freedom.
• Fulfillment and satisfaction to work for yourself.
• You can make more money than doing a regular job.
• You have control over your own destiny.
• You’ll feel joy and pleasure when you see someone using your brand product.
• You make your own wealth.
• Success feels good

If you want to know about Google my business listings for your small business growth, this article might help you –

Google may monetize Google My Business Listings

Comment down your query and Q’s, or you can also contact us. We would love to hear from you!
Now, what’s next? You let us know in the comment section below.
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What are your thoughts about people becoming more and more isolated?
It seems to me that technological advances over the past decade in particular are making it so we need less and less social interaction. You can get food, groceries and pretty much anything else delivered. Work from home is still a thing. Many people are self-absorbed and addicted to social media. Can you blame them?
This car-centric society is lacking in community. Most people work a lot. So they fulfill that human need for connection and community through things like politics and religion. Now both have their place, but can be divisive.
In some scandinavian country i believe they have communal living where groups of people live together in large buildings and share chores like cooking and cleaning. They also eat meals and spend time together playing games, etc. This country is also consistantly ranked as one of the happiest in the world.
This ‘loneliness epidemic’ also causes and exacerbates mental health issues, which are not being resolved with psych meds and are contributing to violence, drug use and poverty. I feel AI and virtual reality will only exacerbate this.
If you agree, what can be done? If not, how so?

I feel like I've been walking in darkness my whole life. I never understood why I had so many problems. From a young age, I used to have a lot of emotional outbursts. The earliest one I can remember is when I got really upset that I colored a fire truck blue in kindergarten. I don't even know what caused it. I think someone, the teacher maybe, mentioned that fire trucks are red, so I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I got it "wrong". This continued through all of elementary and some of middle school. My older brother used to bully me a lot too over these emotions. He knew I was really sensitive, so he'd try to provoke a reaction and put me down in different ways, like reminding me that I'd die someday. I didn't feel safe around him, and while my mom was nice to me, she was too busy to really intervene. Even now, my emotions feel really intense all the time, I just pretend to be stoic. I feel a lot of anger I sometimes take out on people online, though I've stopped doing it as much.
So I've always had trouble making friends. I think most kids thought I was weird. Plus I was really uptight/stubborn and needed things to be "my way" or else. I tried finding friends through online forums, by bonding through TV shows and media properties I liked. I still talk to some of these "friends" sometimes, but at the same time, I've always kept my distance from them. It's hard to get close to them. I also feel like I'm not interested in fiction anymore like I used to be as a kid. My brother used to bully me a lot when I got too interested in things, and I think I just get too attached to whatever thing I get hyperfixated on to the point of being way too defensive and emotional about it. Nothing's really filled the gap though. My interests are something I zone out to, not something I pursue attentively. I like zoning out to music I like during my free time, but that's not conducive to making friends. I still have that stubborn and rigid mentality as much as I try shedding it, and I've gotten away with not being forced to socialize. I'm not happy about it since I feel kinda lonely, but I feel like if anyone really knew me, they'd know how strange I am.
The zoning out is its own thing. I feel like I'm rarely present, I'm always daydreaming or just... not there in the moment. I think it's dissociation. I miss things that are right in front of me. I can feel slow at times. Weirdly enough, other times I feel super hyperactive, like a 3-year old who really wants people to pay attention to him, even if he has to scream. Obviously I don't do this, I try being normal, but there's that instinct, that feeling that I'm on the verge of just throwing a tantrum so people finally listen to me.
I don't know what my problems are My school counselors from elementary suspected it was autism. I have trouble telling what people are feeling, and the zoning out could be a processing delay. I feel like my problems are even more severe than what I've seen online. Other people seem to have found coping mechanisms that worked for them, but my coping consists of zoning out, browsing the internet, and pleasuring myself, maybe both (sorry to be too graphic). That, or trolling for attention. I've tried implementing other things like meditating and journaling, but I still don't feel complete. Maybe it's because I'm still lonely, but part of me feels like I just want someone who is my doppelganger instead of a living, breathing person. I treat people like objects and I want to fix that, but they feel as alien to me as I probably am to them.

Postgame Thread 6/3/2023

Final Score: Orioles 3, Giants 2
Purpose of this thread

• Discuss developing baseball action LIVE
  
• Discuss the Giants game
  
• Post hilarious memes / images / gifs / information that may not deserve a front-page post of its own. If it's big news, feel free to do both! This, and the gameday thread, are good places to post your Dodger jokes and memes.
  
• Discuss ANYTHING as long as it follows the rules of conduct.
  

Highlights

Description	Length	Video
Bullpen availability for San Francisco, June 2 vs Orioles	0:07	Video
Bullpen availability for Baltimore, June 2 vs Giants	0:07	Video
Fielding alignment for Baltimore, June 2 vs Giants	0:11	Video
Fielding alignment for San Francisco, June 2 vs Orioles	0:11	Video
Starting lineups for Orioles at Giants - June 2, 2023	0:09	Video
The distance behind LaMonte Wade Jr.'s home run	0:12	Video
LaMonte Wade Jr.'s home run through bat tracking data	0:09	Video
Measuring the stats on Gunnar Henderson's home run	0:11	Video
Analyzing Gunnar Henderson's home run through bat tracking	0:09	Video
Breaking down Dean Kremer's pitches	0:08	Video
Dean Kremer's outing against the Giants	0:23	Video
Breaking down Logan Webb's pitches	0:08	Video
Logan Webb's outing against the Orioles	0:22	Video
LaMonte Wade Jr. hammers a solo homer to right field	0:24	Video
Ryan O'Hearn grounds an RBI single up the middle	0:17	Video
Jorge Mateo dribbles an RBI infield knock	0:25	Video
Giants fans cheer as the Splash counter hits 100	0:46	Video
Orioles nab Wisely at home after a single from Davis	0:24	Video
Yastrzemski's RBI double	0:19	Video
Giants challenge a safe call on a Mateo steal attempt	0:30	Video
Gunnar Henderson drills a go-ahead home run in 7th	0:25	Video
Crawford robs Rutschman of a hit with a stellar play	0:19	Video
Brett Wisely takes a homer away from Aaron Hicks	0:25	Video

Nominate your Player of the Game (POTG). Upvote your choice if it's posted, or add your own!
For more off-topic fun, check out /SFGSocial!

Advanced Digital Marketing Course in Dehradun 2022 [UPDATE]

Are you willing to learn Digital marketing, but don’t know where to start?
If you want to learn digital marketing, Zaclab technologies are one of the best Digital marketing agencies and now also provides industrial-level live projects to learn from, in their Digital marketing course in Dehradun.

What else have you experienced with Zaclab Digital Marketing Course in Dehradun?

Zaclab Technologies (the Best digital marketing Course in Dehradun) offers professional & advanced digital marketing training in Dehradun which also includes digital marketing training programs, unlike other digital marketing institutes or academies in Dehradun. The digital marketing course is created using the most recent digital marketing curriculum and offers amazing future potential for the digital marketing industry.

Let’s take a peek into digital marketing basics (if you’re new)

Before starting your career in Digital marketing let’s find out what Digital marketing is. It is the marketing of products of services using digital technologies, mainly on the internet, but also including mobile phones, display advertising, and any other digital medium , zaclab provide the Pofessional level digital marketing course in Dehradun.
Digital marketing methods such as search engine optimization (SEO) Search engine marketing (SEM) Content marketing, Influencer marketing, Email marketing, Social media marketing, and Pay per click.
The best digital marketer has a clear picture of how each digital marketing campaign will support their goals. content marketer serves the blog post to connect with the user. Social media marketers might then help promote these blog post through paid and organic posts on the business on social media accounts. The email marketer creates the email to build the relationship between the user and the business.

Scope of Advance Digital Marketing Course in Dehradun

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Think about the last time you sat before the TV for a long time Remember, even i also don’t remember. we all are spending most time on the internet, on our smartphones, pc laptops, or other devices, and with the ease of watching your favorite program, people have shifted from TV to the internet. Going with the change companies opt for digital marketing over traditional marketing doing their marketing on mobile, laptops, and other devices connected to the internet.

Important modules to learn in Digital marketing course in Dehradun

1) Search engine optimization (SEO) = SEO training in Dehradun is the act of making changes to a website so that it can rank higher in search engine results pages (SERPs) and receive more natural traffic. Websites, blogs, and infographics are some of the platforms that SEO helps.
2) Social media marketing (SMM) = is the technique of promoting your content and brand on social media platforms in order to raise brand recognition, improve traffic, and produce leads for your company. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, and Instagram are some of the platforms you can use for social media marketing.
3) Content marketing= The goal of creating material for content marketing is to boost brand recognition, traffic growth, lead generation, and customer base. Your content marketing approach may include blog articles, infographics, whitepapers, and other platforms.
4) Affiliate marketing = is a sort of performance-based advertising in which you get compensated for promoting the goods or services of others on your website. Affiliate marketing methods include posting affiliate links from your social media accounts and hosting video advertising through the YouTube Partner Program.
6) Marketing Automation: Software that helps you automate your everyday marketing tasks is referred to as marketing automation. Numerous marketing teams can automate routine duties that would otherwise have to perform by hand, including email newsletters, social media post planning, contact list maintenance, lead nurturing processes, campaign tracking, and reporting.
7) Pay-Per-Click (PPC): PPC is a technique for increasing website traffic that involves compensating a publisher each time one of their ads is clicked. Google Ad Words, which lets you pay for top spots on Google’s search engine results pages at a fee “per click” of the links you place, is one of the most popular PPC models. Paid advertisements on Facebook, promoted tweets on Twitter, and sponsored messages are some additional platforms where PPC can be used for PPC training in Dehradun.
8) Email Marketing: Businesses utilize email marketing to reach out to their customers. Email is frequently used to advertise events, promotions, and special material, as well as to point customers toward a company’s website. Blog subscription newsletters, follow-up emails to website visitors who downloaded something, customer welcome emails, holiday promotions to loyalty program members, and tips or similar series emails for customer nurturing are some of the types of emails you might send during an email marketing campaign.

How did Digital Marketing help to boost a business?

Regardless of what your company sells, digital marketing still involves building out buyer’s personas to identify your audience’s needs and creating valuable online content.
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B2B Digital Marketing: If a company engages in business-to-business (B2B) transactions, its digital marketing initiatives are probably focused on generating online leads with the ultimate objective of getting those leads to contact a salesperson. Your marketing strategy’s goal is to use your website and other supporting digital channels to draw in and convert the highest quality leads for your sales team. In addition to your website, you’ll probably decide to concentrate your efforts on business-focused networks like LinkedIn where your target audience is active online.
Digital marketing for business-to-consumer (B2C) companies aims to get visitors to websites and convert them into consumers without ever having to engage a salesperson, depending on the price point of the products. Because of this, you’re probably less likely to concentrate on “leads”
Website traffic: Using the digital analytics tools offered by marketing platforms like Hub Spot, you can instantly observe the precise number of visitors to the homepage of your website. among other digital analytics information, how many pages they viewed, what device they were using, and their source. Based on the number of visitors those marketing channels are bringing to your website, this knowledge enables you to decide which marketing channels to spend more or less time on. You know that you probably need to invest some time in SEO if, for instance, only 10% of your traffic comes from organic search.

Digital marketing’s pros and cons

Pros

1. High Demand for Digital Marketers In Organizations
2. Easy to start your Career
3. Reaching global Markets
4. Small Towns are getting digitalized
5. Affordable & Cost-Effective
6. Buyers are keen on surfing the Internet
7. Digital Marketing contributes better ROI
8. Digital Marketing Connects with Mobile Customers

Cons

1. Skills Requirement
2. Time and Dedication required
3. High competition
4. Global Contest
5. Dependability on Technology

For More Info = zaclab.com/digital-marketing-training/

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How To Earn Money Online From Digital Marketing

Do you want to learn how to Earn money online?
There are several methods that show How to earn money utilizing digital marketing, such as founding your own internet business, offering freelance services, or landing a salaried position.
I’ll outline the eight best ways to make money online in this article, along with some helpful starter steps for each. Let’s begin straight away.

What is Digital Marketing?

Digital marketing is the term that refers to advertising on digital channels and devices. It is the essential form of marketing today as the number of an internet user is increasing rapidly on a daily basis. All the businesses whether they are new or old is using platforms to reach the targeted customers. Marketing is all about connecting with their customer at the right time with the help of digital marketing you learn how to earn money online .

Significance of Digital marketing

Internet is transformed from simple research tool to robust commercial with the extensive user base. Digital marketing help business to leverage the power to internet to reach their target people at the right time and its also show how to earn money online .Online marketing gone across the entire spectrum of the digital platform that includes emails, social media marketing, search engine, and the electronic devices.

Scope of Digital Marketing

The scope of digital marketing is increasing day by day. Currently we are living in the age of digital transformation its be the best to grab this opportunity to make a secured carrier in digital marketing. This first quarter of 2017 reported a total of 8 lac new job opportunities introduced almost every day these figures will only get increased.

Here are few reasons why the scope of digital marketing is set to expand:

1. Extreme digitalization
2. Low cost and High ROI
3. A robust field

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Best Way To Earn Money Through Digital Marketing

If you want to earn from digital marketing i tell you the best way to earn from digital marketing their are few step you should follow how to earn money online 7 effective that you should follow.

1. Blog
2. Affiliate marketing
3. Lead generation
4. Google adsense
5. Vlog (video promotion)
6. Email marketing
7. Whatsapp marketing

1) Earning Through Blog

Blog is the best way for the the online earning, while making a blog you have a good idea or experience to express through blog to user on your website. When you write a good blog their are several way to monetize your blog and you can earn revenue through blog.

2) Lead Marketing

If you have lot of traffic on your channel weather it is blog, youtube channel, affiailate channels, traffic means converting into lead , so what you have to do that sell your lead to another business so that you can earn revenue for a lead generation.

3) Affiliate Marketing

It is the best way to earn through online if you have a online channel like website, youtube channel, then affiliate marketing is for you their are lot of business in the market who sell product through affiliate channels in this you have to sell product of another business and they give you a commission per product.

4) Google Adsense

If you want to earn money through google adsense then you have blog website and the quality of the website and blog must be great and register for approve in google adsense their are lot of website google reject for the quality issue.

5) Vlog (video promotion)

Vlog marketing is promoting a video to their customer through ads if you have good knowledge of ads theire are various ads to promote video in youtube channels and other platforms and its is the best way to earn money online.

6) Ecommerce Marketing

If you have a online store and want to sell you product online and drive traffic in your website so the ecommerce marketing is for you go for marketing to promote you product in diff platforms and to increase your sale of your website.

7) Email Maketing

Email marketing is the best tactics for generating the revenue through online in which you have to collect a email of your target audience and extract the interested customer and approach for the product and service.

8) Social Media Marketing

Social media marketing is the best way to connect with your customer and give them information for your brand and it is the best tactics for how earn money online through marketing. Social media marketing is the use of social media platforms and websites to promote a product or service. Although the terms e-marketing and digital marketing are still dominant in academia, social media marketing is becoming more popular for both practitioners and researchers
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Pros and Cons of Digital Marketing

Pros

1. It provides the Global reach
2. Lower cost
3. The trackable and measurable result
4. Personalization
5. Improve conversion rates
6. How to earn money online

Cons

1. Skills and Training
2. Time-consuming
3. High competition
4. Feedback

Website visit = Best Digital Marketing courses in Dehradun
Source: customized website development, best web designer company, affordable web development, affordable web development agency, web developer service, web designing solutions

Hi, I am here to represent some of the aspects of the dysfunctional family of my parents. I have made peace with the past but there have been a few recent events with each family member that are bothering me lately. I am working on myself, reminding myself that although some of it is affecting me now, it does not really matter. Its the logical mind though which needs convincing. What should I do here? Any help is appreciated 1. My Elder Sister (her and I have an age gap of almost 2 years):There was an incident that happened when we were teens, affecting her and me both. I lost my connection with friends little by little. Life became a mess really. She chose to bring this up and how it affected her, (years later) when she introduced me to her - to be fiancee - FOR THE FIRST TIME, trying to pick up a fight then and there. She was 28F (in2020) at the time. I am not sure what she expected out of it and why she did that. When I brought incidences on how she had literally been an asshole to me all her life, she tried to justify herself looking at him as if the only person there purer than the purest water on earth was her. (Really?) I did not storm out or anything like that but handled it like a more mature person than her. It really made me think later though on how far she could go to paint a picture about me to someone who was going to be a part of the family. It also made me realize that I was right to think that she and mum had many conversations belittling me (which was obvious infront but not it was obvious behind my back too), My mother is a narcissist btw. She asked me one time this year if I wanted to stay at her house for a week since she and her now husband would be out there would be no one at home, I said okay. Now when I was leaving her house, since the door had automatic lock, I did not do the manual lock (from outside). I was on my way to the airport when she showed her disapproval on this. So I went back, but there was a malfunction on the door, it was not opening at all for me to even lock it. She was literally screaming on the phone over the video call. I could see my parents sitting behind in the video call, watching this whole ordeal, I tried opening this giant door, slamming myself to it but it did not budge. I eventually had to take help of the neighbour. He was a physically bigger person than me. And he too had trouble opening the door but with effort, he pushed it open. I was then able to lock the door automatically +manually.Later I noticed I had big blood clots (three) covering my right thigh, the side from which I was slamming myself on to the door. Even when she visits home, she tries to degrade my choices, my weight, anything related to me. I told her I like myself and how I do things.There was one time, when during our conversation she asked me what I wanted to eat (for the first time). I said no, she insisted. When I told her and it was a pretty cheap order, her reaction and the entire demeanor changed. She booked the order but was so agitated, didn't continue the call and I never said yes to any of her questions after. 2. Father : I took a break from my corporate career in 2021 to pursue a career in government. I asked my father if he was okay with me being at home to prepare. Initially, he said okay but it was clear later on that he really did not care on if I had my own space to prepare or the privacy. And no I don't have a room, I sleep in the drawing room on a deewan (bed) right infront of the main door. He watches TV all day and couldn't care less on what is happening elsewhere in the house.To cope with this and the guests, relatives and visits of my siblings (both elder sissy and brother), I started studying at night.In the morning, he could hardly care on how loud he is moving things around, arranging utensils or so. I am trying to get a job again to get my own place. I don't know how I managed this long at home with such things. 3. Brother : He is so self - righteous.Initially, he and I shared rooms. And he was always on the phone. One time I asked him to go to the balcony and talk or the other room and he said it was not convenient for him. I told him I am preparing for my government exam and what do you know? It turns into an altercation. My mother asked me to leave the room, being all about solutions. When I told her it's impacting my preparation and I have to give the exam, she said ' everyday is an exam' (seriously?) I cried a lot that day after I settled in my father's room.To make it seem like she was trying to help me, she asked my father to let me study for 2 hours each day. (Really? 2 hours?),which was not okay by him. He loves his TV and so.Oh well. He never apologized and still, till date, never apologizes even when he is in the wrong. He does apologize to my sister. It's all about the money she earns now. Because he often makes note of it and always looks at her salary. So I think that way, he is inclined to say sorry to her. He did not say sorry to her too before she was earning well. 4. My Mother: I think the person I had most issues with throughout my life is my mother. I love her for the being that resides in her but I oh so fucking hate her for how she treats me directly/ indirectly. She projects her limitations on me, always remarking 'oh you can't do that'.She has always wanted me to be less than my sister. How do I know this? She oftens pointed out in a derogatory way whenever I did well in life. I was the first in this family to get a well paid job and she was not happy about it, at all. When I was in the process of giving interview, I remember she remarked says 'That is, if you get this job, you will go there'. I was taken aback but I mean, what else did I expect. When I was earning well, these guys were all about me, asking me for gifts and things, which I was happy to oblige to. Now, she always ALWAYS like a speaker on the top of my head, speaks about how wonderful of a jobmy sister has, her salary, the new flat she is buying and how richlyand royally our new dog is living with her, something which he was not living like before, when he was living with her. About the government exams I am preparing for, she always talks about how less of a salary the posts have. I really don't have any idea about why she says these things. When I try to confront her, she takes it in a very defensive way and I'd not say anything to her at all. Now that my brother is in another city because of his job, she has taken the room.I had an interview yesterday and I asked her for the room (there is always someone coming and going in the drawing room) and the energy got so dull as if I was not entitled to it. How do you think would be the best way to navigate through these emotions and incidences?

Hi, I am here to represent some of the aspects of the dysfunctional family of my parents. I have made peace with the past but there have been a few recent events with each family member that are bothering me lately. I am working on myself, reminding myself that although some of it is affecting me now, it does not really matter. Its the logical mind though which needs convincing. What should I do here? Any help is appreciated 1. My Elder Sister (her and I have an age gap of almost 2 years):There was an incident that happened when we were teens, affecting her and me both. I lost my connection with friends little by little. Life became a mess really. She chose to bring this up and how it affected her, (years later) when she introduced me to her - to be fiancee - FOR THE FIRST TIME, trying to pick up a fight then and there. She was 28F (in2020) at the time. I am not sure what she expected out of it and why she did that. When I brought incidences on how she had literally been an asshole to me all her life, she tried to justify herself looking at him as if the only person there purer than the purest water on earth was her. (Really?) I did not storm out or anything like that but handled it like a more mature person than her. It really made me think later though on how far she could go to paint a picture about me to someone who was going to be a part of the family. It also made me realize that I was right to think that she and mum had many conversations belittling me (which was obvious infront but not it was obvious behind my back too), My mother is a narcissist btw. She asked me one time this year if I wanted to stay at her house for a week since she and her now husband would be out there would be no one at home, I said okay. Now when I was leaving her house, since the door had automatic lock, I did not do the manual lock (from outside). I was on my way to the airport when she showed her disapproval on this. So I went back, but there was a malfunction on the door, it was not opening at all for me to even lock it. She was literally screaming on the phone over the video call. I could see my parents sitting behind in the video call, watching this whole ordeal, I tried opening this giant door, slamming myself to it but it did not budge. I eventually had to take help of the neighbour. He was a physically bigger person than me. And he too had trouble opening the door but with effort, he pushed it open. I was then able to lock the door automatically +manually.Later I noticed I had big blood clots (three) covering my right thigh, the side from which I was slamming myself on to the door. Even when she visits home, she tries to degrade my choices, my weight, anything related to me. I told her I like myself and how I do things.There was one time, when during our conversation she asked me what I wanted to eat (for the first time). I said no, she insisted. When I told her and it was a pretty cheap order, her reaction and the entire demeanor changed. She booked the order but was so agitated, didn't continue the call and I never said yes to any of her questions after. 2. Father : I took a break from my corporate career in 2021 to pursue a career in government. I asked my father if he was okay with me being at home to prepare. Initially, he said okay but it was clear later on that he really did not care on if I had my own space to prepare or the privacy. And no I don't have a room, I sleep in the drawing room on a deewan (bed) right infront of the main door. He watches TV all day and couldn't care less on what is happening elsewhere in the house.To cope with this and the guests, relatives and visits of my siblings (both elder sissy and brother), I started studying at night.In the morning, he could hardly care on how loud he is moving things around, arranging utensils or so. I am trying to get a job again to get my own place. I don't know how I managed this long at home with such things. 3. Brother : He is so self - righteous.Initially, he and I shared rooms. And he was always on the phone. One time I asked him to go to the balcony and talk or the other room and he said it was not convenient for him. I told him I am preparing for my government exam and what do you know? It turns into an altercation. My mother asked me to leave the room, being all about solutions. When I told her it's impacting my preparation and I have to give the exam, she said ' everyday is an exam' (seriously?) I cried a lot that day after I settled in my father's room.To make it seem like she was trying to help me, she asked my father to let me study for 2 hours each day. (Really? 2 hours?),which was not okay by him. He loves his TV and so.Oh well. He never apologized and still, till date, never apologizes even when he is in the wrong. He does apologize to my sister. It's all about the money she earns now. Because he often makes note of it and always looks at her salary. So I think that way, he is inclined to say sorry to her. He did not say sorry to her too before she was earning well. 4. My Mother: I think the person I had most issues with throughout my life is my mother. I love her for the being that resides in her but I oh so fucking hate her for how she treats me directly/ indirectly. She projects her limitations on me, always remarking 'oh you can't do that'.She has always wanted me to be less than my sister. How do I know this? She oftens pointed out in a derogatory way whenever I did well in life. I was the first in this family to get a well paid job and she was not happy about it, at all. When I was in the process of giving interview, I remember she remarked says 'That is, if you get this job, you will go there'. I was taken aback but I mean, what else did I expect. When I was earning well, these guys were all about me, asking me for gifts and things, which I was happy to oblige to. Now, she always ALWAYS like a speaker on the top of my head, speaks about how wonderful of a jobmy sister has, her salary, the new flat she is buying and how richlyand royally our new dog is living with her, something which he was not living like before, when he was living with her. About the government exams I am preparing for, she always talks about how less of a salary the posts have. I really don't have any idea about why she says these things. When I try to confront her, she takes it in a very defensive way and I'd not say anything to her at all. Now that my brother is in another city because of his job, she has taken the room.I had an interview yesterday and I asked her for the room (there is always someone coming and going in the drawing room) and the energy got so dull as if I was not entitled to it. How do you think would be the best way to navigate through these emotions and incidences?

Throwaway account for privacy.
Basically I got into the genre of yuri/shoujo ai a while ago and it's living in my head rent free. I love the tender stories, the characters falling slowly for each other, and all the other bits. I'm a guy, so for one I feel weird liking a thing that mostly appeals to girls and women, but the other thing is that I'm just not very interested in most "guy" stuff like Shonen anime or action movies. I want a good story with realistic characters I can relate to. I want an emotional story that has me rooting for the heroine to get her love.
But I also am a believer, and I serve highly in my church. I can't share my enjoyment with others there because of the stigma. It's horribly painful to know that I have to hide this part of myself even if I don't do anything sinful because of it. I'm not gay, moreso I'm just afraid of getting too close to other people. It frightens me being so close to another human being that they can see the real me behind the front I put up. The few people that have seen me for real are either family or close friends, or are people who have way too much skill in reading people. I fear being outed one day as a perceived pervert, having "immoral desires" and being forced out of my friend circles because of a misunderstanding. I don't believe it's sinful to enjoy media that is comforting, and I take comfort sometimes in the simple yet deep stories these characters portray, just being able to laugh and fry along with the show. I was also at one point a brony, so I also have that against me. I'm just not able to connect with other guys or other Christians in a way that feels genuine. And I'm not able to get past my fear of relationships. But I am able to take joy and comfort in this small pastime of mine. I am not ashamed of it, but I dare not share it with the world.

I (23F) ended my 4-year relationship with my girlfriend (24F) a year ago because I was under a lot of pressure at that time (got diagnosed with heart disease; failed my bar exam; my gf successfully came out but my parents are super homophobic). I felt like I couldn't see our future and didn't want to waste her time.
After the breakup, she stayed with me for over a year, hoping to get back together. We texted every day as usual but I kept on telling her to find someone she deserves and move on and refused to get back together.
Last month she became really cold suddenly and told me she had started seeing someone else. I broke down and asked if we could get back together and told her I could change for the better me. She refused, saying that the past year has been a real torture for her and now she only sees me as a family.
We haven't talked ever since and she just announced her new gf on her social media. It's already been a month and I still feel like I'm living in hell. I can't stop thinking about how nice she was to me and regretting my decision to break up. I don't wanna feel this way anymore. Any advice?
TL;DR: Broke up with my gf a year ago and refused to get back with her. Broke down and asked to get back together after she started seeing someone else. She refused and I'm in hell. Advice?

Someone into men's issues may happen to fall into a place of power and a small enough number of individuals that you could comfortably fit them in my living room have used men's issues to justify terrorism. Most of us don't really run into this though and it doesn't really shape our lives.
For the most part, the worst thing that a men's advocate can do to you is bring up talking points that challenge your worldview. If you don't want this to happen, men's advocates are banned from enough spaces that you can mostly avoid them. If you're upset by them, it's because you're consciously making decisions to look at their content or engage with them.
This is not true of feminism. Feminism informs so much policy in education and work that you really need to make some very incredible life decisions to avoid it. It even impacts things like what Google and YouTube give you in the search results. Twitter used to ban this kind of dissident thought and so now men's advocates have to basically start over with fewer followers. It's hard to avoid.
Because feminism is backed by power, feminists can speak freely without any real consequences for their social media getting banned or from being branded a sexist at work. A feminist can make very stupid talking points without facing the same social consequence of a dissident who makes very stupid consequences. Depending on the setting, they may not even get challenged.
A feminist can make it as a public intellectual without any real understanding of what men's advocates talk about and without ever engaging with the opposition. Papers can be published and taught in university without even acknowledging the asston of criticism it receives from men's advocates. These papers will even be taught in GedEd classes at university, that you basically have to take if you're gonna be an educated person.
Because powerful people support feminism, it can be treated as objectively true. A feminist perspective on someone who was active in gamergate or speaks about topics like inceldom or gender realism can be reported in major media as fact and that leads to things like how someone's Wikipedia page might be written or how the world understands them. This can all be done without the consent of the person being written about.
Whether someone individual is a good feminist, a bad feminist, a smart feminist, or a dumb feminist is not really what matters to its critics, because it's critics cannot avoid the fact that feminism from a wide spectrum of quality or intelligence will impact their lives whether they like it to or not.
For this reason, an individual feminist will often be annoyed that feminism is often criticized the way policy and power are criticized, rather than how an idea may be criticized. An idea is generally criticized in its best or truest version, but most critics of feminism are criticizing the ways in which feminism wields power over them in their day to day life.
For this reason, "good feminism" can sometimes be seen as a Motte and Bailey to avoid talking about actual policy and the things that matter. To some let's advocates, feminism can seem to take two forms: (a) things that power inflicts upon us, and (b) a head in the clouds discussion to distract from things power inflicts upon us. This causes a lot of men to just hate it.

I am looking for a internally motivated individual who has a passion for Gaming, Social Media, and Live streaming!
This person needs to be able to work 8-12 hour days, has great attention to detail and enjoys watching streams!
You will be fully remote and we are offering $18,000 php - $22,400 php Monthly
If you are interested, please send me a DM!

Hi, I am here to represent some of the aspects of the dysfunctional family of my parents. I have made peace with the past but there have been a few recent events with each family member that are bothering me lately. I am working on myself, reminding myself that although some of it is affecting me now, it does not really matter. Its the logical mind though which needs convincing. What should I do here? Any help is appreciated

1. My Elder Sister (her and I have an age gap of almost 2 years):There was an incident that happened when we were teens, affecting her and me both. I lost my connection with friends little by little. Life became a mess really. She chose to bring this up and how it affected her, (years later) when she introduced me to her - to be fiancee - FOR THE FIRST TIME, trying to pick up a fight then and there. She was 28F (in2020) at the time. I am not sure what she expected out of it and why she did that. When I brought incidences on how she had literally been an asshole to me all her life, she tried to justify herself looking at him as if the only person there purer than the purest water on earth was her. (Really?) I did not storm out or anything like that but handled it like a more mature person than her.

It really made me think later though on how far she could go to paint a picture about me to someone who was going to be a part of the family. It also made me realize that I was right to think that she and mum had many conversations belittling me (which was obvious infront but not it was obvious behind my back too), My mother is a narcissist btw.
She asked me one time this year if I wanted to stay at her house for a week since she and her now husband would be out there would be no one at home, I said okay. Now when I was leaving her house, since the door had automatic lock, I did not do the manual lock (from outside). I was on my way to the airport when she showed her disapproval on this. So I went back, but there was a malfunction on the door, it was not opening at all for me to even lock it. She was literally screaming on the phone over the video call. I could see my parents sitting behind in the video call, watching this whole ordeal, I tried opening this giant door, slamming myself to it but it did not budge. I eventually had to take help of the neighbour. He was a bigger person than me. And he too had trouble opening the door but with effort, he pushed it open. I was then able to lock the door automatically +manually.Later I noticed I had big blood clots (three) covering my right thigh, the side from which I was slamming myself on to the door.
Even when she visits home, she tries to degrade my choices, my weight, anything related to me. I told her I like myself and how I do things.There was one time, when during our conversation she asked me what I wanted to eat (for the first time). I said no, she insisted. When I told her and it was a pretty cheap order, her reaction and the entire demeanor changed. She booked the order but was so agitated, didn't continue the call and I never said yes to any of her questions after.

1. Father : I took a break from my corporate career in 2021 to pursue a career in government. I asked my father if he was okay with me being at home to prepare. Initially, he said okay but it was clear later on that he really did not care on if I had my own space to prepare or the privacy. And no I don't have a room, I sleep in the drawing room on a deewan.

He watches TV all day and couldn't care less on what is happening elsewhere in the house.To cope with this and the guests, relatives and visits of my siblings (both elder sissy and brother), I started studying at night.In the morning, he could hardly care on how loud he is moving things around, arranging utensils or so. I am trying to get a job again to get my own place. I don't know how I managed this long at home with such things.

1. Brother : He is so self - righteous.Initially, he and I shared rooms. And he was always on the phone. One time I asked him to go to the balcony and talk or the other room and he said it was not convenient for him. I told him I am preparing for my government exam and what do you know? It turns into an altercation. My mother asked me to leave the room, being all about solutions. When I told her it's impacting my preparation and I have to give the exam, she said ' everyday is an exam' (seriously?)

I cried a lot that day after I settled in my father's room.To make it seem like she was trying to help me, she asked my father to let me study for 2 hours each day. (Really? 2 hours?),which was not okay by him. He loves his TV and so.Oh well.
He never apologized and still, till date, never apologizes even when he is in the wrong. He does apologize to my sister. It's all about the money she earns now. Because he often makes note of it and always looks at her salary. So I think that way, he is inclined to say sorry to her. He did not say sorry to her too before she was earning well.

1. My Mother: I think the person I had most issues with throughout my life is my mother. I love her for the being that resides in her but I oh so fucking hate her for how she treats me directly/ indirectly.

She projects her limitations on me, always remarking 'oh you can't do that'.She has always wanted me to be less than my sister. How do I know this? She oftens pointed out in a derogatory way whenever I did well in life.
I was the first in this family to get a well paid job and she was not happy about it, at all. When I was in the process of giving interview, I remember she remarked says 'That is, if you get this job, you will go there'. I was taken aback but I mean, what else did I expect.
When I was earning well, these guys were all about me, asking me for gifts and things, which I was happy to oblige to.
Now, she always ALWAYS like a speaker on the top of my head, speaks about how wonderful of a jobmy sister has, her salary, the new flat she is buying and how richlyand royally our new dog is living with her, something which he was not living like before, when he was living with her.
About the government exams I am preparing for, she always talks about how less of a salary the posts have. I really don't have any idea about why she says these things. When I try to confront her, she takes it in a very defensive way and I'd not say anything to her at all.
Now that my brother is in another city because of his job, she has taken the room.I had an interview yesterday and I asked her for the room (there is always someone coming and going in the drawing room) and the energy got so dull as if I was not entitled to it.
How do you think would be the best way to navigate through these emotions and incidences?

First- Previous
The planetary alarms sounded again, waking me up from a deep sleep as dawn approached. It was likely warning of another solar assault on our planet. I thought myself lucky that Op'olat and his brothers had rescued us from the cave system before it flooded.
But now I wondered if that was really such a good thing. The mountain would have easily protected us from the massive radiation storm heading towards us now. The solid stone construction of the ancient town hall would provide some protection, but will it be enough?
“Reilla!” I could hear the fear in Ael’la’s voice. The woman had been helpful since we were rescued. Even with her infant, she had taken on the care of all the orphaned children, giving them hope and comfort. But she was full of fear, even if the little ones never noticed.
“Reilla? What is happening now? Why are the sirens going off again?”
“I know as much you, but it must be another radiation storm. Get the children into the basement. Get them settled in. Sing them songs. Keep them calm and quiet.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.”
While she got the little ones into the shelter, I went searching for D’rylla. If anyone would know what is happening, it would be our grumpy little radio operator. She knew more than anyone about everything.
The alarms cut off abruptly before I found her.
“D’rylla? What is happening?”
“Oh, there’s just too much. There is a huge solar storm heading towards us with a radiation count high enough to kill anything caught on the surface. But the humans placed their fleet between the us and the sun. Their shields took the brunt of it.”
The tiny woman ran outside, surely an insane thing to do with a radiation storm hitting the planet.
“What are you doing? Get back in here!” I raced after her to stop her from committing suicide.
“No, you don’t understand. The humans stopped it. They said the energized particles are causing rivers of light in the sky and the humans say it is safe to go watch.”
The humans have proven themselves to be competent. If they say it is safe, then I believe them. So it was with only a little trepidation that I stepped outside.
The predawn sky was filled with magic. I had heard of auroras at the poles, but never this far south. It was glorious to behold. In the sky, I could see the rivers of red, purple, green, and gold light running from the far north to the equator and further out, and in space I could see bubbles of light with colors dancing wildly across the spectrum.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered in awe.
“That must be the human’s ships,” D’rylla whispered back. “There’s at least three hundred or more.”
“If they can protect the planet from the radiation storms, then maybe our planet will survive.”
I found myself believing in the possibility. I am bitterly aware of how little the Confederation had done to help juxtaposed with what the humans had done out of their innate kindness. There is no way we can ever repay them for the gift of life, the survival of our people. And to simply say thanks seemed inadequate.
I’d spoken to one of the human search and rescue teams during a meal. Yrsa Hellström told me that just our simple survival was not good enough. She wanted our people to thrive and if we did so, then that was thanks enough for her. The concept was alien to me. In Confederation society, such acts incur debts that last generations.
“Oh! I forgot about Ael’la and the children.”
“I need to get back inside to the radios. I will tell her it is safe to come out. You stay here and enjoy the show.”
I don’t know how long I stood there, gazing at the brightening skies. Even as the sun peaked over the horizon, I could still see the rivers of light. I was so engrossed with the spectacle I did not realize I was no longer alone until I heard someone speak my name.
“Good morning, Reilla.” I recognized Op'olat’s voice right away. He’d spent quite a bit of his free time with me. I did not know if he was wanting friendship or something more. And if he wanted something more, I did not know how I felt about that just yet. So many people had lost their mates in the past weeks. I was not one of them, but I had lost the one I’d planned on marrying in the first few days. I’d not had much time to think of Hav’ed lately. I’d only had time to survive until our rescue. And after that, I’d been busy here, helping those less fortunate.
“Good morning, Op'olat.” His name meant ‘generous laughter’ in the old tongue. He lived up to the name. He was both generous and funny, even amongst all of this. He never missed the opportunity to make others laugh and was an endless source of humorous stories. The children adored him. Even the most withdrawn came out of their shells around him.
“The human Ejvar Sivarsson informed me that a Confederation naval force dropped out of hyperspace and threatened their cargo fleet, thinking to force them to leave.”
I shook my head in disgust. “The Confederation could not be bothered to send help, but they could send ships to chase off those that did come to help. Typical Confederation shit. When are the humans leaving?”
“They are not leaving. Apparently, an even larger human naval force had been waiting in hyperspace. Ejvar called them wolfhounds guarding the flock. Whatever that means.”
“Probably something like huuda guarding the atu.” I’d not seen any huuda since the storms hit. The domesticated guard beasts protect the atu flocks from predators. With atu wool being the main source of soft um’idar cloth and our main textile trade product, protecting them was important.
“Hmm. Makes sense,” he replied absently. “But the Confederation fleet thought better of it and left. When the humans detected the radiation storm, they moved all their ships to block it. They had no idea if it would work, but they put themselves in harm's way for us. It was fun to watch, though.”
“It would not have been so if it didn’t work.”
“Lek told me they were ‘in for a penny, in for a pound.’ Humans have a lot of sayings that I do not quite understand. But I looked that one up on their datanet. It means that humans should finish what they started, even though it may be difficult or expensive.”
“Their help has been truly both.”
“I wanted to tell you that the last time I went out foraging, I found some canned ippa fruit and ground multda. I saved a bit for you,” he told me.
Ippa fruit is an expensive delicacy. One that I rarely could afford when fresh. Canned was not as good, but still a rare and delicious treat. Ground multda when steeped in hot water made a wonderful savory drink that is mildly addictive. I’d not had any in weeks. It was just another in a long line of small things he’d done for me. But he did not pry, did not press me.
“Here.” He handed me a pack loaded with the foods. “There’s also some f’lad bread and rivi sweet beans you can share with the children. The should make them happy. I’d give it to them myself, but I’m going out on another mission soon. We got word of some survivors holed up in an abandoned copper mine in the Wyst’adt mountains. They have been drinking contaminated water and have some really sick kids. I should be back by dinner. I’ll see you then.”
“Thank you. I will see you when you get back, I guess.” I did not know what else to say as I watched him head to the human rescue ship.
Less than a minute later, the ship lifted off, heading south. Watching him leave left me with a hollow feeling. I knew enough about trauma to know that it caused people to feel vulnerable and confused. I knew I would eventually have to figure out how I feel about him.

I’ve reconnected with my first long-term boyfriend of 3.5 years after losing contact 10 years ago. I reached out to him and at first he was very happy to hear from me (he said he tried looking for me - I have very limited social media)
We maintained a good friendship for a couple years before we both lost touch so I was expecting the connection to be positive. So far I’ve experienced some hurtful behavior. 1. One day when we were reminiscing on the past (on the phone - we live in different states) I asked him why we dated for so long/why he dated me (we are both single so I didn’t think it was inappropriate to ask) he told me he dated me mostly for my looks. I thought he was just joking because the tone of the conversation was very lighthearted and silly. Afraid it was true, I asked if he can name even 1 thing else and he said he “didn’t want to tap into it” and got defensive. No further explanation was given. 2. He then proceeded to cut me off when I wanted clarification and ignored me for 2 whole months just to respond and tell me it was a joke and not true at all. 3. When he finally responded and we talked about the topic he told me I “should of explaining what I felt" despite the fact that I had already expressed my feelings in the texts he ignored. 4. He downplays and devalues our past relationship as if it was nothing just because we were young. I even asked him if it was a real relationship to him and he basically implied it wasn’t. 3.5 years. A significant amount of time and emotion. And I’m not even counted as a real relationship. I’ve moved on too but that doesn’t take away from our history like it does for him. Maybe I wasn’t memorable or good enough. So this it made me feel low for something I remember sweetly.5 He is short with me by text, take hours to respond (despite saying how much he loves texting) and doesn’t follow through with plans unless prompted. 6. He agreed with me when i called him “difficult," which suggests that he may not be willing to take responsibility for his behavior and have accountability. He also said he’s the type that people have to take in “small doses” (whatever that means) I actually think him saying this explains everything I’ve experienced since we reconnected. 7. It’s put up or shut up with him. I can’t talk about anything when it comes to the above mentioned topics without risking getting cut-off. I only continue bringing them up because it continues to bother me.
All I’ve done is be nice to him, see how he’s been and talk kindly about him and my memories.
I’ve brought up these things to him and he just shuts me down. Now he’s cutting me off again because I’ve told him it’s been hurtful talking to him. Am I overreacting?
TL:DR - Ex that I once had a great relationship/friendship with is treating me in hurtful ways and I don’t know if I’m overreacting

Created this alt account just to post this.. It's gonna be very long and with many grammar mistakes.. I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for more than 2 years now. It's been hard but we usually make it work and would spend a lot of time almost every evening playing video games and watching shows. I have always felt a bit more needy in the relationship.. Like I will miss him more, will be the one initiating calls more, text first most often, be the one pushing for the next meeting. Usually we meet every 2-3 months for a week, sometimes just for a weekend, usually in my country, because his family is here and I have my own flat. Meanwhile the whole relationship he was renting a room from his friends and was very against us meeting there, which was always upsetting for me because that meant that we could meet a lot less often. He has a lot of money and could have easily afforded to move out sooner, but honestly.. he was just lazy and didn't want to and would spend most of his free time playing video games.. he would talk how hard finding a place is and how hard it is to move all your things.. he would complain all the time how he didn't like living at that place, but wouldn't do anything about it.. at one point we almost broke up because I told him that I can't handle him living there and barely seeing him anymore, I told him I don't even think he will ever move out at this point..
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But now he has finally moved to his new place and has been moving his stuff, unpacking, etc. for the last few weeks and finally finished everything today (friday).. Obviously this whole time he was quite busy with his job and moving so we weren't spending any time in the evenings, maybe at most watch one episode of some show together and go to sleep immediately after. He wasn't really texting first or calling these weeks too and I was understanding of course that he was busy and tried to not bother him too much, but I really missed him these past couple of weeks, but can't say I felt the same from him.. He did actually have a lot of free time, but besides the whole moving in, he started working out a loooot every day and also just going out in the city, going on walks, runs etc. I was actually happy and proud that he was being active, going outside and not just playing video games all day (he is actually addicted to it and that's a whole other story..), but still feeling quite lonely and hoping he will have some time to spend with me once he's finished moving in.
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And I'm about to graduate university and have been quite busy myself these past months and actually finished my thesis recently and absolutely nailed my thesis defense (is that what's it's called in english?) this friday! Which I consider quite a big milestone for me because these past 6 years in medical school were really challening... And I was really hoping to spend some time today with my boyfriend, celebrate a bit, you know? But honestly I have been feeling like he's not even that interested in my life, like he barely asks any questions about what's going on in my life.. He was actually the only close person of mine that didn't know about this whole thesis defense.. I would mention I have a big thing coming up this friday and he wouldn't ask anything about it, didn't wish me luck, didn't ask me how it went last night, etc.. Anyway, I called him during the day on friday, asked about his plans for the day, he told me he's actually about to finish moving in and talked about some exciting new show he wants to watch with me and got me all hyped up like we are going to watch it today.. I told him I'm gonna be free today and just be resting after my thesis defense and once he's free and want to do something together to let me know..
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Well I haven't heard from him the rest of the day and at about 11 in the evening I got a text from him that an aquantaince is coming over and they are going to go to the city, which is really unusual for him.. I call and ask him what's going on. He told me he's been texting with this aquantaince all day and he (the friend) just got back from a fishing trip and is very tired, but is still coming over?? I asked if they're going to go to a bar or club and he said something about not being in a party mood and they are probably going to just walk/sit in some park/forest.. at 11 in the evening? I actually got a bit upset and cried.. I told him how he didn't find any time for me these past couple weeks and didn't even text or call me, but found time to do this and text his friend all day and I said I was waiting for him to watch that show and I missed him so much.. but we quickly talked it out and I wished him a fun time. At first I didn't question this whole thing, but then I started thinking this whole meeting with the friend in the middle of the night didn't make any sense.. and frankly can't imagine him just meeting a friend for a stroll in a park.. I didn't even sleep today because I felt like he was lying to me.. My gut was screaming that he's probably just going to a club and going to be doing drugs and drinking alcohol till the morning... but he actually didn't seem active on any social media during the whole night so I started thinking maybe he actually just met his friend briefly and went to sleep, but then he reacted to some meems I sent earlier at like 5 in the morning.. and that meant he was out this whole time.. I immediately asked what's he up to, but he just left me on read.. which happens often when he's really drunk..
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I'm just feeling sick.. He actually (in my opinion) has a big drinking problem.. not that he drinks every day, but that once he starts drinking he can't stop.. and he becomes a very mean selfish asshole when he's drunk and just completely can't control his behavior or the things he says.. and he usually doesn't even remember the awful things he says and does to me when he gets like that.. He hurt me a looooot about half a year ago when he was high and drunk and we almost broke up then, at first I forgave him but after some months I realised that I couldn't be with a 30 yo man that can't control his drinking and I don't want to see him do drugs or drink in front of me ever again.. I was actually preparing myself to break up with him till he completely out of nowhere told me that he realised that nothing good comes out of drinking and he wants to at the very least to completely stop drinking beer.. And I gave him a chance and looked at it almost like a new beggining.. And he did really good for like half a year and our relationship got a lot better and healthier, but a few months ago someone got him some beer for his birthday and he kind of started slowly drinking again - occasionally going to bars..
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And I'm just over it.. I don't want him to start doing drugs and drinking again.. I'm terrified of him when he's drunk (not physically, but emotionally..) and maybe that's just me, but it's a huge turn of that a man in his 30s is still spending all night in some club together with his buddy.. and a lot of his buddies are quite scummy people that cheat on their girlfriends.. and while I completely trust him sober, I don't trust him to control himself from doing something while he's super drunk.. Honestly all my family and my friends that have met him and seen how he acts while drunk hate him and want me to break up with him and I was really hyping up the fact that he stopped drinking and hoping to repair his reputation with them.. And I really love him, as stupid as that sounds, and was really hoping he could change and stop drinking.. when he's sober and we spend time together it's so so good.. I know I wrote a lot of negative things but there are lots of very good things too, but it would be too long to write everything.. I was supposed to move to him this summer after graduating and now I'm just so scared and nervous about that and don't know if I should.. I know I have to ask what happened last night, but it will end up with him being upset and angry and starting a fight and gaslighting me.. I have my final exam next week and hate that it all happened now when I really need to focus on studying.. What do I even do in this situation?

WILD MAN: Saint or Sinner Posted on May 2, 2021by Dana Rehn The Representation of Wild Folk During the German Renaissance The wild man was inspired in part by pagan hybrid woodland creatures like the satyr, however, much of the mythology of the wild man stems from barbarians of Europe.[i] For much of the Middle Ages, they were considered the antithesis of the civilised Christian society. They were cannibalistic, sexually deviant predators whose many characteristics were related to monstrous races as well as the insane. Despite the wild folk’s outsider status and the antithesis of Christian morality, the wild man and woman nevertheless became an icon of German nationalism. The image of the wild man and woman became a pervasive figure throughout the German Renaissance, depicted on a vast range of media from stained glass, woolen tapestry, playing cards (fig. 3), and ordinary household objects. The wild man and woman transitioned from a demonic brute beast to a romanticised image of the noble savage. They recall a simpler time in German history and became a part of the image of a united and strong German people. They also posed as an affront to the court culture of Rome and became associated with the virtues of the natural wilderness. Cleric, Johann Geiler von Kaysersberg, associated them with the image of the hairy saints who found redemption in the wilderness by categorising them as a type of wild man in Die Emeis.[ii] The German forests that the Wild Man was thought to reside were starting to be romanticised. Geographer, Johannes Rauw, praised the ancient forests that had long been demonised by Italians as a place of barbarians.[iii] From rapists of damsels, wild men were depicted with the virtues of the nuclear family in the Garden of Eden before ‘The Fall’ (Genesis 3). In this way, the wild man and woman became increasingly mythologised, merged with ancient Germans, ascetic saints as well as Adam and Eve. Although there were a growing number of romanticised images of the wild man and woman during the sixteenth century, negative representations persisted. Their depiction was not a simple shift from demonic woodland creature to the image of holy saints; many possessed both contradictory notions of sinner and sainthood. The multifaceted representation of wild folk reflected many of the contradictions of German Renaissance society. Man or Animal The reputation of the wild man stems from antiquity. Aristotle believed that people who lived outside the civilising influence of the urban city lacked the ability to reason.[iv] In this way, they were considered closer to animal than man, subjected to their impulses.[v] The wild man and woman were also believed to lack speech, used primitive tools such as the club, and lived away from civilisation.[vi] Even the food that the wild folk would eat – berries and uncooked food – was a mark of uncivilisation and thus associated them more with animals than man.[vii] Many were also thought to crawl on all fours, which is illustrated by the often bare knees of wild men and women.[viii] The wild man as well as the woman were characterised for their violence and unhinged rage. They both shared a love of combat and have even been depicted jousting against one another.[ix] It is not just appearance, but also behaviour that made someone bestial like peasants who were described with animal qualities. The wild man has also been associated with bears and mythology exists with bears who were able to transform into wild men.[x] Their unbridled sexuality was also more associated with animals. Wild men were thought to abduct pretty maidens, while the wild woman would transform herself into a beautiful woman and attempt to seduce men with her true ugliness only to be revealed during intercourse.[xi] In this way, they were also associated with other pagan and hairy woodland hybrid creatures from antiquity including satyrs and centaurs, who were also known for their immoral behaviour and insatiable sexual appetite.[xii] Albrecht Dürer combined classical mythology with German folklore in the engraving of the Abduction of Proserpine on a Unicorn (1516) (Fig. 1). The print recounts the mythology of the abduction of the goddess of fertility by Pluto (Hades), God of the underworld – the pagan equivalent to the Devil.[xiii] In place of the classical god is a wild man on the back of a unicorn. Although this wild man is not covered in think body hair, he has wild hair on top of his head and a large bushy beard. He is identified as a wild man by his riding of a unicorn where the wild man was believed to be the only creature strong enough to overpower it by force.[xiv] Unicorns were originally regarded as ferocious beasts who used their horn as a weapon.[xv] Tales and visual art from the fourteenth century tell of wild men who become tamed by love after abducting a woman.[xvi] Yet this print illustrates man’s sexuality was thought to reduce them to a brute beast. Fig 1. Albrecht Dürer, Abduction of Proserpine on a Unicorn, 1516, Etching, 30.8 x 21.3cm, The Institute, Chicago. During the Middle Ages, many people concluded that wild man and woman were degenerative humans. They became an irrational beast in the same way that the insane were believed to be a form of wild people. Medieval romances frequently described people who suffered a crisis and lost their mind and ran into the forest living as semi-human wild people.[xvii] In Hartmann von Aue’s (c. 1160/70- c. 1210/20) Iwein, the protagonist who has broken a promise to his wife and is rejected, roams around in the forest until he is discovered by a lady who saves him from his insanity.[xviii] The wilderness in part created the state for wildness as it was away from civilisation and rationality.[xix] Like many monsters during the period, the wild man and woman were defined by their nudity. In this way, they were symbolically outside civilisation – both physically and behaviourally.[xx] Even those who have become temporary wild men through madness and fled into the forest shed their clothes and only returned to civilisation by again putting their garments back on. While in the forest they begin to grow hair all over their body to signify their move away from the human realm and into the animal one.[xxi] The wild man and woman encapsulated the fears of Europeans and what happens to one if they abandon civilisation.[xxii] The theme of civilising the wild man was popular during the Middle Ages. It was knowledge and acceptance of the one true faith that inevitably brought the wild man back to civilisation.[xxiii] In a thirteenth-century Bavarian epic poem, republished in the sixteenth-century German collection of stories, Das Heldenbuch mit synen figuren (‘The Book of Heroes’), recounts a wild woman called Raue Else (‘Rough Else’). The woman who was hairy all over and walked on all fours approached the knight, Wolfdietrich, who questioned if she was an animal. [xxiv] The wild woman demanded the love of the knight and upon his refusal turned him into a crazed wild man who crawled on all fours for half a year until God commanded her to disenchant him. In return, Wolfdietrich offered to marry the wild woman so long as she was baptised. She took him back to her kingdom at Troy and after bathing in the fountain of youth she was transformed into her former self, the beautiful princess, Sigeminne (‘Love’s victory’).[xxv] Wild Man as Noble Savage Although the wild man and woman were frequently represented in literature during the Middle Ages, they were rarely depicted in visual art until the fifteenth century.[xxvi] Therefore, their most ferocious reputation left little mark in visual culture. Instead, the wild man and woman were frequently represented in Renaissance art as the image of purity, with their family representing the virtues of parenthood and a companion or as a saint. Lynn Frier Kaufmann argues that the idea of chivalry and courtly love during the Middle Ages influenced the way wild men and women were depicted during the Renaissance.[xxvii] Larry Silver on the other hand interpreted their new role as cultural emblems brought by the rise in Germanic nationalism, which inspired the new translation of Tacitus’s Germania, describing wild people who only wore a cape of animal’s hide, as the first proud inhabitants of the Germanic lands (for example, fig. 2) .[xxviii] In this way, Tacitus’s Germania transformed the wild man into the romanticised version of the noble savage during the German Renaissance.[xxix] They lived a simple and virtuous life. They needed no written laws because they had good morals and rejected the habits of outsiders.[xxx] The nobility and urban elite began to romanticise the wild man for their strength and freedom from the rules of society.[xxxi] Conrad Celtis described a counterpart to early Germans in the Lapps. He described them as speechless but also that they had not been corrupted with luxury, fame, or wine. ‘Here no jurist twists the law, no doctor accumulates his blood money, and no tonsured man plagues the people’.[xxxii] Fig. 2. Nicolaes van Geelkerken after Clüver in Philipp Clüver, Germaniae antiquae libri tres, Leiden: Louis Elzevir, 1616, Engraving, London, The Wellcome Library. Source: archive.org On a playing card by Master ES printed in c. 1461, a wild woman is depicted with a unicorn (fig. 3). While wild men overpower the unicorn with their bold ferocity, it was the wild woman’s sexual purity that allowed her to get close to the unicorn. A tale of the unicorn captured only by pure virgin maidens arose during the Middle Ages. This led to the unicorn being represented as a sign of purity and thus underscores the image of the wild woman as epitome of the noble savage.[xxxiii] A sense of innocence accompanies their ignorance of the civilized world. Playing cards usually consisted of four suits with illustrations of plants, animals, and heraldic symbols. The wild woman with the unicorn is one of four cards surviving in the animal suit by Master ES.[xxxiv] Richard Bernheimer suggests that the images on the cards represent a hierarchy.[xxxv] Therefore, it places the wild man and woman in the realm of animals.[xxxvi] This is plausible since this wild woman represents the Queen of the Animals. However, her clasping grip of the unicorn who is dwarfed by the wild woman shows her dominate position in nature. Fig. 3. Master ES, Wild Woman and Unicorn (Queen of Animals from the Small Playing) c. 1461, Engraving on Playing Card, 10.5 x 7.3cm (Sheet); 9.8 x 6.cm (Plate), New York, Metropolitan Museum of Art. The wild man also featured in more than 200 coat-of-arms across Europe, most of which were in German lands.[xxxvii] They were particularly popular during the second-half of the fifteenth century.[xxxviii] Interestingly, the wild man was illustrated beside coats-of-arms of popes and kings as their protector or guardian of the coat-of-arms despite the wild man’s history as a heretical being.[xxxix] Roundel prints of coat-of-arms were likely used as templates for goldsmiths or glassmakers who would fill in the family crest.[xl] It has also been suggested that these roundels were used by the middle class to emulate the coat-of-arms of the nobility. The templates were used as a substitute for commissioned coat-of-arms.[xli] In Wild Woman and Heraldic Shield, c. 1490 (fig. 4), a wild woman suckling her baby is reminiscent of the Madonna and child. This image reveals the redemption of women through childbirth for their responsibility for Original Sin (Genesis 3.16). She also serves as an emblem for fertility for the family whose shield she holds to ensure the family line. Fig. 4. Martin Schongauer, Wild Woman and Heraldic Shield, Colmar, c. 1490, Engraving, 7.7 diam. New York, The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Return to the Garden of Eden The image of the noble savage in turn influenced the idyllic images of the wild family. Master bxg’s Wild Folk Family (c. 1475) parallel Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve who were portrayed in animal skins after ‘The Fall’ are akin to the hairiness of the wild family.[xlii] In Master bxg’s print stands the tree of knowledge, overlooked by an owl in the background, symbolising potential danger as owls served as a symbol for evil.[xliii] A rabbit bounds towards a forest in the top left. Rabbits were used as a symbol for fertility and has been depicted in images of Adam and Eve during ‘The Fall’ and thus can symbolise carnal knowledge. The wild woman’s long hair symbolises her fertility and thus her unbridled sexuality and parallels with the depiction of Eve in the Garden of Eden with long, loose flowing hair.[xliv] Although the representation of the wild family references Original Sin, they are still in a state of nature and innocence and their ignorance of God therefore cannot constitute sin.[xlv] However, it also provides a mirror of the tensions between good and evil within German Renaissance society – between temptation and godliness.[xlvi] The wild family not only recall Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, but also the image of the Holy Family who were often represented against the backdrop of the wilderness.[xlvii] In a comparative print in Hans Leonhart Schäufelein’s, Wild Man and Wild Woman originally printed in c.1520 (fig.5), the wild family are still hairy and naked, although they wear fig leaves to help preserve their modesty. The fig leaves allude to after ‘The Fall’ in the Garden of Eden once they have eaten from the tree of knowledge and realise their nakedness and feel shame. In this way, the sins of the past are not completely forgotten. However, the image lies in opposite to the unbridled sexuality of the earlier idea of the wild man and woman. One son attempts to place a leash around a domesticated dog, which further symbolises a new domesticity to the wild family.[xlviii] Despite its clear reference to Original Sin, it illustrates an idyllic family scene, away from the corrupting influences of ‘civilised life’.[xlix] Fig. 5. After Hans Schäufelein, Klag der wilden Holtzleüt, uber die ugetrewen Welt, verse by Hans Sachs, printed by Hans Guldenmundt, Augsburg, 1560 Coloured woodcut, 20.2 x 24.2cm (sheet), 20.2 x 15.2 cm (borderline) The British Museum, London. This image was later copied with an addition of a poem written by Hans Sachs in 1530. In the poem the wild folk lament against the corruption and evils of society such as the lust for wealth, flesh, and violence. The wild folk in Sachs’ verse have chosen to discard worldly pleasures to live the simple and pure life in nature. The verse ends with the wild folk declaring that they will be happy to return to civilisation once the world ‘see the light’.[l] This verse parallels the wild man with ascetic monks whose wildness is a temporary state and who seek redemption away from civilisation. Wild Man as Saints The tales of saints who found redemption in the wilderness by discarding worldly pleasures, growing hair on their body and then returning to civilization and shedding their hair once more became co-opted with the image of wild men and women during the Renaissance. Many stories of anchorites parallel with others, to the point that they can become indistinguishable.[li] Onuphrius is one of the better-known ascetic saints who lived during the fourth century. Paying penance, he lived in a cave for sixty years, as wild men and women were thought to do. His clothes wore away and he grew a thick coat of hair to protect his body against the elements (fig. 6).[lii] Saint John Chrysostom similarly went into the wilderness to pay penance and vowed to crawl on all fours until he found favour with God.[liii] Ascetic saints were similarly depicted with bare knees as wild men and women were also believed to crawl on all fours like an animal, wearing away the hair. In Leben der Heiligen (1499), where Saint John Chrysostom is depicted as covered in thick hair and crawling on all fours in the forest is described as an ‘abominable animal,’ despite being depicted with a halo around his head.[liv] Ascetic saints were therefore reduced to a beast just as the wild men and women had traditionally been as they are seen as degenerating into an animal who grow hair on their body and ate raw food.[lv] In this way, the figure of the hairy monstrosity was able to find redemption, at least in part, cast as the model of repentance. Fig. 6. Anonymous, Saint Onuphrius, c. 1480-1500, woodcut, 14.6 x 11.4cm, New York, The Metropolitan Museum of Art. During the German Renaissance, Saint Mary Magdalene, who was regarded for her beauty,[lvi] was frequently represented covered in hair like a wild woman. Her hairy image found wide devotion through the southern Germanic region.[lvii] In a tale originating in the tenth century, Mary was set adrift by non-believers and by divine guidance found her way to the south of France where she preached and converted the locals. She lived in a cave in Saint-Baume, Provence, paying penance for her former sinful life.[lviii] The name Magdalene means manens rea or ‘remaining in guilt’.[lix] She grew hair all over her body in the same way as a wild woman. In her cave she remained silent and when a hermit approached her, she had trouble speaking after being secluded for so long, not unlike the wild man and woman.[lx] Every hour, angels would ascent her to the heavens where she would gain nourishment as she was so remote that there was no food or water.[lxi] Mary’s ascension into the heavens as a hairy wild woman was a theme in German Renaissance prints and is illustrated in a print by Hans Baldung Grien (c.1484-1545) in c.1512 (fig. 7 ).[lxii] Her ascent represents her body’s transcendence from both worldly pleasures and the wilderness. Fig. 7. Hans Baldung Grien, St Mary Magdalen, c.1512, Woodcut, Sheet: 13 × 8.7 cm Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York. The image and identity of Mary Magdalene during the Renaissance is believed to be conflated with the story of Saint Mary of Egypt who lived in the fifth century. Mary has long been thought to be a prostitute. She travelled to Jerusalem where she became aware of her sins when she could not enter a Church as she was held back by a spiritual ‘force’. She saw the image of the Virgin Mary staring back at her and realised why she could not enter. Mary of Egypt, the antithesis to the Virgin prayed to her for forgiveness and renounced her life of sin.[lxiii] Mary went to live alone in the desert to repent for forty-seven years.[lxiv] The desert was a place to be tested against sins, for punishment, but also for contemplation and redemption.[lxv] Both Mary of Egypt and Mary Magdalene have both similarly been depicted covered by hair that represents their place outside of civilization and discarding worldly possessions. It was also used to provide modesty to discern from their previous occupation of the flesh.[lxvi] As seen in the print by Lucas Cranach the Elder, The Ecstasy of St. Mary of Egypt (1506) (fig. 8) who was thought to levitate in prayer,[lxvii] is similar to the composition of prints of Mary Magdalene being accented by angels. The naked saints signified the return to nature before ‘The Fall’ in the Garden of Eden.[lxviii] Despite this earlier legend, Mary Magdalene was not depicted in art as covered in hair until the mid-fifteenth century but was rather naked with her long hair covering her modesty. The image of the hairy Mary Magdalene was therefore believed to originate in fifteenth-century Germany.[lxix] The detail of the hairy Mary Magdalene was also not included in the popular thirteenth century The Golden Legend by Jacobus de Voragine (c.1230-1298) that combined the tales of Magdalene. Her nudity was implied as the hermit who visited her passed her a garment to wear.[lxx] The hair covering Mary of Egypt was also a later addition to the story and also does not appear in The Golden Legend.[lxxi] She similarly does not seem to appear in art until the fifteenth-sixteenth centuries.[lxxii] The same can be said of other saints who turn into a wild man, at least temporarily such as Saint John Chrysostom.[lxxiii] This suggests ascetic saints who grew hair over their body was a contemporary idea that arose at the same time that the wild man and woman were popular in Renaissance prints. However, as Bartra notes, the idea of the hairy ascetic saint derived from Ancient Egypt when long haired hermits sought solitude in the desert.[lxxiv] Fig. 8. Lucas Cranach the Elder, The Ecstasy of St. Mary of Egypt, 1506 Woodcut, 24.4 × 14.2 cm, The Met, New York, Wild Man in Reformation Propaganda The image of the wild man was also co-opted into the Protestant Reformation in Germany and has been used by both Protestants and Catholics in contradictory ways. The engraving of The Pope as a Wild Man was created by Melchior Lorck (c.1526/7-1583) in 1545. This wild man with characteristic thick body hair with bare knees is a hybrid with long rat-like tail. Perched on top of his head is the three-tiered crown of the pope, but the last tier is a tower of excrement. Beneath his crown are ass ears, which represent folly and dishonesty. The ass’s ears allude to the myth of Apollo who made Midas grow the ears of a donkey to tag him for his dishonesty.[lxxv] On his back appears to be a bat with stretched out wings, which is a symbol for the Devil.[lxxvi] The wild man carries his characteristic wooden club, but this one has three cross branches at the end to represent the papal cross. He holds onto the papal key that is shattered at the end, which is a sign that the temporal powers of the papacy have been broken.[lxxvii] From his mouth pours a stream of toads and reptiles. This appears to reference the beast, the dragon, and the false prophet who release four foul spirits. A version of this image was discovered cast on a canon of Protestant troops captured during the Schmalkaldic War.[lxxviii] Melchior Lorck, The Pope as Wild Man, c. 1545, Etching, 22.9 × 19.4 cm, Staatliche Museen zu Berlin, Kupferstichkabinett Conclusion In Renaissance Germany, complexity existed in people’s relationship with the wilderness. It both conjured up images of the Garden of Eden before ‘The Fall’ as well as the dangers that may lurk beyond. The wild man and woman were just as complex and represented sinfulness, but also redemption and innocence. As Merry Wiesner-Hanks concludes ‘beast, saint, or hero? the wild man was all three’.[lxxix] A closer look at images of the wild man reveals their complexity. There was not a simple evolution between a demonised creature associated with cannibalism and rape to the holy saint. In the age of the apocalypse, the wild man and woman provide a reminder of Original Sin and the need for repentance at a time of social reform. In this way, the hairy woodland creature is not entirely absolved. Further Reading: Abulafia, David, The Discovery of Mankind: Atlantic Encounters in the Age of Columbus, New Haven: Yale University Press, 2008 Bartra, Roger, Wild Men in the Looking Glass: The Mythic Origins of European Otherness, trans. Carl T. Berrisford, Ann Arbor: The University of Michigan Press, 1994. Bernheimer, Richard, Wild Men in the Middle Ages: A Study in Art, Sentiment, and Demonology, Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1952. Colin, Susi, ‘The Wild Man and the Indian in Early 16th Century Book Illustration,’ in Christian F. Feest (eds.), Indians and Europe: An Interdisciplinary Collection, Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press, 1999, pp. 5-37. Husband, Timothy, The Wild Man: Medieval Myth and Symbolism, exh. cat., New York: The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1980. Kaufmann, Lynn Frier, The Nobel Savage: Satyrs and Satyr Families in Renaissance Art, Ann Arbor, Michigan: UMI Research Press, 1984. Moseley-Christian, Michelle, ‘From Page to Print: The Transformation of the “Wild Woman” in Early Modern Northern Engravings’, Word & Image: A Journal of Verbal/Visual Enquiry, vol. 27, no. 4, 2012, pp.429-442. Schama, Simon, Landscape and Memory, London: HarperCollins, 1995. Wiesner-Hanks, Merry, The Marvelous Hairy Girls: The Gonzales Sisters and their Worlds, New Haven: Yale University Press, 2009. [ii] Simon Schama, Landscape and Memory, London: HarperCollins, 1995, p. 97; Timothy Husband, The Wild Man: Medieval Myth and Symbolism, exh. cat., New York: The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1980, p. 12. [i] Bartra, Roger, Wild Men in the Looking Glass: The Mythic Origins of European Otherness, trans. Carl T. Berrisford, Ann Arbor: The University of Michigan Press, 1994, p. 79. [iii] Schama, 1995, pp. 95-6. [iv] Bartra, 1994, p. 9. [v] Richard Bernheimer, Wild Men in the Middle Ages: A Study in Art, Sentiment, and Demonology, Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1952, p. 11. [vi] Joyce E. Salisbury, The Beast Within: Animals in the Middle Ages, New York: Routledge, 1994, p. 151; David Abulafia, The Discovery of Mankind: Atlantic Encounters in the Age of Columbus, New Haven: Yale University Press, 2008, pp.16-7. [vii] Susi Colin, ‘The Wild Man and the Indian in Early 16th Century Book Illustration,’ in Christian F. Feest (eds.), Indians and Europe: An Interdisciplinary Collection, Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press, 1999, p.8. [viii] Abulafia, 2008, pp.16-7. [ix] Colin, 1999, p.6 [x] Bernheimer, 1952, pp.165, 59. [xi] Colin, 1999, p.8. [xii] Husband, 1980, p. 11. [xiii] Walter L. Strauss (ed.), The Complete Engravings, Etchings and Drypoints of Albrecht Dürer, Courier Dover, 2013, p. 178. [xiv] Bernheimer, 1952, p. 135. [xv] Anne Clark, Beasts and Bawdy, London: Dent, 1975, p. 46 [xvi] Lynn Frier Kaufmann, The Nobel Savage: Satyrs and Satyr Families in Renaissance Art, Ann Arbor, Michigan: UMI Research Press, 1984, p. 34. [xvii] Salisbury, 1994, p. 152. [xviii] Classen, Albrecht (ed.), Meeting the Foreign in the Middle Ages, New York: Routledge, 2002, p. xx. [xix] Colin, 1999, p. 9. [xx] Danielle Régnier-Bohler, ‘Imagining the Self’, in Georges Duby (ed.), A History of Private Life: vol. II Revelations of the Medieval World, trans. Arthur Goldhammer, Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1988, p. 368. [xxi] Régnier-Bohler, 1988, p. 369. [xxii] Colin, 1999, p. 9. [xxiii] Colin, 1999, p.6. [xxiv] Husband, 1980, p. 62; Merry Wiesner-Hanks, The Marvelous Hairy Girls: The Gonzales Sisters and their Worlds, New Haven: Yale University Press, 2009, p. 42. [xxv] Husband, 1980, p. 64; Bartra, 1994, p. 101; Bernheimer, 1970, p. 37. [xxvi] Gilmore-House in Husband, 1980, p. 139. [xxvii] Kaufmann, 1984, pp.32-4. [xxviii] Michelle Moseley-Christian, ‘From Page to Print: The Transformation of the “Wild Woman” in Early Modern Northern Engravings’, Word & Image: A Journal of Verbal/Visual Enquiry, vol. 27, no. 4, 2012, p. 431; Tacitus, Cornelius, Agricola and Germany, trans. Anthony Birley, Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1999, p. 46. [xxix] Schama, 1995, p. 96. [xxx] Caspar Hirschi, The Origins of Nationalism: An Alternative History from Ancient Rome to Early Modern Germany, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2011, p. 169. [xxxi] Colin, 1999, p. 23-4. [xxxii] Lewis W. Spitz, Conrad Celtis: The German Arch-Humanist, Cambridge: Harvard Universtiy Press, 1957, p. 100-101. [xxxiii] Anne Clark, 1975, p. 46. [xxxiv] Gilmore-House in Husband, 1980, p. 168. [xxxv] Gilmore-House in Husband, 1980, p. 167. [xxxvi] Gilmore-House in Husband, 1980, p. 168. [xxxvii] Wiesner-Hanks, 2009, p. 35. [xxxviii] Bernheimer, 1952, p. 180. [xxxix] Husband, 1980, p. 4. [xl] Wiesner-Hanks, 2009, p. 44. [xli] Husband, 1980, p. 187. [xlii] Moseley-Christian, 2012, p. 438. [xliii] George Ferguson, Signs & Symbols in Christian Art, Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1959, p. 22. [xliv] Christa Grössinger, Picturing Women in Late Medieval and Renaissance Art, Manchester: Manchester University Press, 1997, p. 82. [xlv] Husband, 1980, p. 15. [xlvi] Husband, 1980, p. 17. [xlvii] Kaufmann, 1984, pp. 36-7. [xlviii] Schama, 1995, pp. 97-8. [xlix] Colin, 1999, pp. 23-4. [l] Husband, 1980, p. 133. The full translation is found in Appendix B of Husband, 1980, pp. 202-4. [li] Husband, 1980, p. 97. [lii] Husband, 1980, p. 95. [liii] Husband, 1980, p. 102. [liv] Husband, 1980, p. 105. [lv] Bartra, 1994, pp. 83-4. [lvi] Roberta Milliken, Ambiguous Locks: An Iconology of Hair in Medieval Art and Literature, Jefferson, North Carolina: McFarland and Company, 2012, p. 189. [lvii] Wiesner-Hanks, 2009, p. 41. [lviii] Joana Antunes, ‘The Late-Medieval Mary Magdalene: Sacredness, Otherness, and Wildness’, in Peter Loewen and Robin Waugh (eds.), Mary Magdalene in Medieval Culture: Conflicted Roles, New York: Routledge, 2014, p. 117; Wiesner-Hanks, 2009, p. 38; Husband, 1980, p. 100. [lix] Husband, 1980, p. 100. [lx] Antunes, 2014, p. 118. [lxi] Milliken, 2012, p. 189. [lxii] Wiesner-Hanks, 2009, p. 38; Husband, 1980, p. 100; Milliken, 2012, p. 189. [lxiii] Michelle Erhardt and Amy Morris, ‘Introduction’ in Michelle Erhardt and Amy Morris (eds.), Mary Magdalene: Iconographic Studies from the Middle Ages to the Baroque, Leiden: Brill, 2012, p. 9; Else E. Friesen, ‘Saints as Helpers in Dying: The Hairy Holy Women Mary Magdalene, Mary of Egypt, and Wilgefortist in the Iconography of the Late Middle Ages,’ in E.E. DuBruck and B.I. Gusick, Death and Dying in the Middle Ages, New York: Peter Lang, 1999, pp. 240, 242; Milliken, 2012, p. 204. [lxiv] Erhardt and Morris, 2012, p. 9; Friesen, 1999, pp. 240, 242. [lxv] Bartra, 1994, pp.47-8. [lxvi] Erhardt and Morris, 2012, p. 9; Friesen, 1999, pp. 240, 242. [lxvii] Milliken, 2012, p. 206. [lxviii] Friesen, 1999, p. 242 [lxix] Husband, 1980, p. 100. [lxx] Jacobus de Voragine, The Golden Legend: Readings on the Saints (c.1260), ed. Eamon Duffy, Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2012, p. 381. [lxxi] Virginia Burrus, The Sex Lives of Saints: An Erotics of Ancient Hagiography, Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2011, p. 149. [lxxii] Voragine, 2012, p. 228; Milliken, 2012, p. 205. [lxxiii] Husband, 1980, p. 102. [lxxiv] Bartra, 1994, pp. 74-5. [lxxv] Hélène A. Guerber, The Myths of Greece and Rome, New York: Cosimo, Inc., 2007, p. 57. [lxxvi] Russell, 1986, p. 232. [lxxvii] Robert W. Scribner, For the Sake of Simple Folk: Popular Propaganda for the German Reformation, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1981, pp. 135, 80 [lxxviii] Scribner, 1981, pp. 163, 164. [lxxix] Wiesner-Hanks, 2009, p. 35. Share this: Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window) Related Wild Men and Heraldry February 20, 2022 In "wild folk" Representations of Monsters in German Renaissance Prints September 5, 2021 In "cynocephali" Monstrous Women: Hair, Gender, and Sexuality in Early Modern German Prints June 6, 2021 In "Human-Animal Relations"

https://www.smashingsecurity.com/324-zip-domains-ai-lies-and-did-social-media-inflame-a-riot/
ChatGPT hallucinations cause turbulence in court, a riot in Wales may have been ignited on social media, and do you think .MOV is a good top-level domain for “a website that moves you”?
All this and much much more is discussed in the latest edition of the “Smashing Security” podcast by computer security veterans Graham Cluley and Carole Theriault, joined this week by Mark Stockley.
Plus don’t miss our featured interview with David Ahn of Centripetal.
Warning: This podcast may contain nuts, adult themes, and rude language.
Episode links:

• 8 new top-level domains for dads, grads and techies – Google.
• Tweet by Citizen Lab’s John Scott-Railton – Twitter.
• File Archiver in the browser – mr.d0x.
• A Lawyer’s Filing “Is Replete with Citations to Non-Existent Cases” – Thanks, ChatGPT? – Reason.
• Ely riot: Live updates as police investigate CCTV showing police van following bike moments before fatal crash – Wales Online.
• Cardiff riot: Police force refers itself to watchdog as CCTV shows its van following e-bike before fatal crash – Sky News.
• Two boys killed in Cardiff crash which was followed by riot are named – Sky News.
• Cardiff riots: social media rumours about crash started unrest, says police commissioner – The Guardian.
• Black Butterflies – Netflix.
• Black Butterflies trailer – YouTube.
• “The End of the World Is Just the Beginning: Mapping the Collapse of Globalization” by Peter Zeihan – Amazon.
• Science Vs – Gimlet Media Podcast.
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Theme tune: “Vinyl Memories” by Mikael Manvelyan.
Assorted sound effects: AudioBlocks.

Hey everyone,
I've been contemplating joining Mensa recently, but there's something holding me back, and I can't quite put my finger on it. Let me share a bit about myself and my journey so far, in hopes of finding some relatability among you:
Throughout my early years until around age 25, I struggled with deep depression. My main motivation for living was simply to avoid disappointing others, but looking back, I realize that it provided me with a sense of purpose, and I'm grateful for that. However, the impact of those difficult times has left me with profound psychological scars from a broken childhood and the accompanying depression. These issues can unexpectedly resurface, and I can trace them back to certain events in my past.
At a young age, I had the opportunity to skip three grades in school before taking an IQ test at a Dutch university. The test results were inconclusive, as they couldn't provide me with a score due to a lack of comparable data. Nonetheless, based on their assessment, I was allowed to advance to advanced courses in the exact sciences when I was just 11 years old.
This unconventional path in my education had profound effects on my development. As a result of being advanced in the exact sciences while lacking proficiency in languages and other subjects, my behavior and interests didn't align with those of my peers. Despite my advanced knowledge in certain areas, the decision was made to place me back into a school environment with classmates who were three years older than me. This adjustment was far from smooth, and I faced relentless bullying and ostracization. The stark contrast between excelling in one domain and struggling in others took a toll on my self-esteem and shattered my motivation.
I experienced a deep sense of frustration as I found myself caught between extremes. Everything I encountered seemed either too challenging or too simple. The lack of a balanced education, with limited exposure to crucial subjects and social interactions, left me feeling isolated and disheartened. The setback of repeating four grades further compounded my struggles and hindered my progress. Gradually, my enthusiasm for learning eroded, and I developed a sense of disgust toward the educational process itself. It seemed like an insurmountable hurdle, with no satisfaction or fulfillment to be found.
The unconventional and challenging educational journey I had experienced left me disillusioned and yearning for a "normal" life. I grew to despise learning and longed for the simplicity and carefree existence that I believed others enjoyed. I wanted to fit in and do what I perceived as "normal" people do, without the burden of my exceptional intelligence. Goals seemed elusive, and I found myself living day by day, with little concern for the consequences of my actions or the development of harmful habits.
As I entered my early twenties, I continued to live a directionless and hedonistic lifestyle. My focus was solely on seeking immediate pleasure and avoiding any commitments that might hinder my freedom. I did venture into various fields of study, including Biology, Media & Entertainment, and Psychology, hoping to find a path that resonated with me. However, I quickly grew frustrated with the slow pace of academic pursuits and the perceived lack of practicality.
Moreover, I came to the inevitable realization that pursuing groundbreaking research, which had always held a fascination for me, would likely demand compromising my ethical principles. This clash between my insatiable desire for intellectual exploration and my unwavering commitment to upholding my moral compass felt like hitting an impenetrable wall. The weight of this realization further dampened my motivation and left me feeling trapped in a state of aimlessness
During this period, there was a stark contrast between my internal turmoil and the perception of those around me. From an external perspective, it might have seemed like I was simply enjoying a carefree existence, but internally I struggled with a deep sense of dissatisfaction and a longing for a more meaningful and purpose-driven life.
That's when I found myself navigating the uncertain waters of work without a degree or a satisfying high school diploma. While these experiences taught me some valuable life skills, I couldn't shake the void of intellectual stimulation and the lack of a true sense of purpose. I dabbled in various low-level jobs, searching for something that would ignite a fire within me.
And then, by chance, I stumbled upon programming. It was like a revelation, an immediate resonance that filled the void in my soul. It was about three and a half years ago, when I was 29 years old, that I discovered my true passion. Programming became my sanctuary, where I could breathe life into any idea using reason and creativity, unbound by the constraints of traditional education or the corporate world. It was a realm where imagination knew no limits, and the results of my creations spoke for themselves.
Now, I find myself working as a freelance senior Python developer, fully immersed in the dynamic world of technology. But it's not just about the code or the projects; it's about the impact I can have on people's lives. My goal is to become a digital nomad, embracing a life of incredible freedom where I can open my laptop anywhere in the world and make a real difference. This drive stems from the deep-rooted desire to finally make a positive impact, to contribute to causes like sustainability and engage in charity projects. Perhaps it's because I've struggled for so long to make a difference in my own life that I'm now fueled by the urge to bring positive change to others.
Throughout these years, I've come across only a few people with whom I can truly connect, understanding a fraction of my thought processes. Most people, whether friends or family, specialize in specific areas, such as discussing black holes, social interactions, biology, or general topics. I feel like I can understand what almost everyone thinks and feels, but only a minuscule percentage of people truly grasp fragments of my thoughts, even when I try to explain them in the simplest way possible, as if talking to a five-year-old (well, that's an exaggeration, but you get the idea).
It's an enigma. I possess this uncanny ability to tap into someone else's thought process, even if it involves groundbreaking research in a particular field. Yet, I find myself stranded on an island, isolated by my comprehensive understanding that I can't fully comprehend. It's incredibly frustrating. I've even attempted to diminish my intellect by resorting to excessive alcohol consumption and other substances, hoping to fit in. However, that only resulted in heightened anxiety and intensified feelings of isolation.
So now, I'm thinking about joining Mensa. I'm drawn to the idea of connecting with like-minded people who have gone through similar experiences, or are currently going through them. To be honest, I would even prefer to be less intelligent than someone else. The constant feeling of isolation has really taken a toll on me, and it's no longer something I find enjoyable.
What I truly need is to connect with people who can offer fresh perspectives that go beyond my own limited view. I crave interactions with individuals who can intellectually challenge me, point out my blind spots, and provide insightful explanations. It's important for me to find equals who truly grasp and relate to my experiences. While I have made progress in learning to love myself, I've realized that having intellectual sparring partners is crucial for my personal growth. I aspire to surround myself with like-minded individuals who resonate with my thoughts and experiences, and who can push me intellectually to expand my horizons. The sense of belonging and understanding that I've been yearning for feels closer than ever before.
I want to acknowledge the incredible role that my girlfriend plays in my life and how she has been a source of immense support. She holds a special place in my heart, and it is through her suggestion that I am considering joining Mensa. I am truly grateful for her encouragement and belief in me. At the same time, as I contemplate this step, I experience a mix of gratitude and apprehension. The idea of delving into the unknown and connecting with the individuals associated with Mensa both excites and intimidates me. It is a journey that brings both anticipation and a sense of uncertainty.
So, here I am, seeking your thoughts and insights. Could Mensa be the right place for me? I'm eager to connect with like-minded individuals, engage in stimulating conversations, and find the sense of belonging that I've been yearning for. Your perspectives and advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all.
(PS: I have utilized ChatGPT to rephrase various aspects of my narrative. I have found that this has tremendously aided me in articulating my thoughts in a lucid manner in written form.)

Hello everyone! I’m Doc, He/Him, 17, a young DM with a love for storytelling. I’ve always wanted to delve into a campaign inspired by media such as Ghost of Tsushima, Horizon Zero Dawn, and other games I’ve always got to watch my dad play while I planned my sessions for a year now… So, that led me to begin planning this campaign! I'm not too experienced at reddit so this is a shot in the dark.
I have been playing D&D for about 3 years, Dming for 1, and I am super excited to find some possible players for this. I’m looking for a maximum of 4-5 players, with a heavy focus on roleplay and character development. I recently took a class in anthropology and have been really inspired to run a campaign inspired by a specific culture, particularly east asian cultures, so here we are!
I would say I'm a fairly loose dm. I don't mind bending rules to let you do something cool and I heavily focus on RP, less combat (as I am terrible at balancing.) I REALLY love involving my players' backstories into campaigns like these so if you have any cool characters I’d love to hear about them and push them into the story! I dont use VTT’s (however I do track combat encounters etc in my own creative ways) and am entirely theater of the mind style in my dming. We will be using DNDbeyond, as I have quite the amount of sourcebooks on there. I will totally be willing to help you guys make characters that fit into the story as well if thats your cup of tea!
Please note this campaign is NOT a place for people who are close minded. I am aiming for;
An age range of 16-22
Open minded people (Queer, Disabled, POC friendly)
People who are okay with no VTT/Theater of the Mind style
People who don’t follow rules to the extreme in D&D People with a consistent schedule
And most of all, people are willing to have fun!
A bit of info about the world can be found below, along with its plot hook!
~
Amidst the somber silence that permeates the battlefield, a lone ronin cuts a solitary figure. His footsteps echo softly as he traverses the scarred earth, his presence a solemn tribute to the fallen. The wind whistles through the empty spaces, murmuring secrets of honor and sacrifice. With a fluid motion, the ronin sheathes his blade, its steel gleaming with a bittersweet gleam. The weight of countless lives hangs heavy upon it, a reminder of the battles fought and lives lost. In that moment, the ronin's gaze transcends the mortal realm, his eyes fixed upon a distant horizon, where the souls of fallen warriors find solace.
As he lingers among the fallen, the ronin's voice, a timeworn rasp, resonates through the air, carrying a message. "In the realm of sacrifice, warriors become eternal," he murmurs, glaring towards the ground.
The ronin stands tall, a silent guardian amidst the remnants of conflict, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. In his quiet yet peaceful presence, the fallen warriors find solace, their sacrifices acknowledged, and their memory preserved. And as the moon rises over the battlefield, casting its cool hues upon the landscape, the ronin steps forward, his dull eyes focused on the crimson moon above.
~
Shinkoku (The continent) is a land of captivating contrasts. Beautiful forests bursting with vibrant wildlife give way to serene bamboo groves, where the whisper of the wind through the slender stalks creates an ethereal melody. Rolling plains, adorned with fields of swaying golden wheat, provide a picturesque backdrop for peaceful villages and thriving farmlands. The continent is dotted with sacred sites, where towering buildings and tranquil shrines stand as testaments to the spiritual connection between mortals and the divine. Hidden within the depths of ancient forests and atop mist-shrouded mountains, these sacred places serve as gateways to realms unseen and hold the wisdom of generations past.
Shinkoku is a realm steeped in history and honor. The ruins of ancient empires, crumbling castles, and battle-scarred fortresses stand as echoes of the conflicts that have shaped the land. The echoes of the samurai's code of Bushido resonate through the mountains, carrying tales of noble warriors who upheld their honor and fought for justice. Yet… Many seemingly are stuck in the past.
But amidst the breathtaking beauty and profound tranquility, shadows lurk in the corners of Shinkoku. Political intrigues simmer in the palaces of powerful daimyos, while clandestine organizations seek to exploit the realm's hidden secrets. Supernatural creatures, both benevolent and malevolent, roam the land, their presence shaping the destinies of mortals and spirits alike.
And at the top of it all, the shogun of Shinkoku rules eternal.
~
Interested? Go ahead and fill out this google Forum! I look forward to seeing you all :) Note this post will be closed once I feel I've gotten enough responses, or its been 24 hours! If you have any questions, leave them below!
Cheers!
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd0xDzQVpmStcfTLsIl5BKuNdSQrXyBJMHCRfv\_8fkZxX6FIA/viewform?usp=sf\_link